IWS #246: Brought To You By The Letter L (RESULTS!)

[Comey]

(I had said I wouldn't do a IWS, as I'm terrified of trying to score it. Or that I couldn't make a good one. But neither Warhammer nor Psyer have stepped forward in the 2+ months since the last one. I came up with this idea as I was out on a walk with one of my students earlier today. So...hopefully this passes your standards.)

The Rules

The rules are the same as previous FOFC “I’m With Stupid" Contests, as set forth by the game's deeply beloved progenitors. There is no doubt about this. They are the best.

The object of this contest is to answer the questions posted, and to provide the most common answer among those submitted. For each question, your score will be equal to the number of people who submitted that response. Your score for the contest will be the product of your individual question scores. For the mathematically challenged, product means they are multiplied together, not added. Highest score wins.

Collaboration of any kind is strictly forbidden. No posting your answers to this board, nor sharing them by e-mail or in any other way with other potential contestants. There are no prizes other than everlasting glory and total consciousness on your deathbed, so the need to cheat shouldn't be an issue.

All determinations of "matches" and anything else requiring even the most trivial degree of judgment fall to that of the sole administrator of this round of the game. You can reduce the need for doubt and judgment by properly spelling your submissions, being clear, and that sort of thing. My decisions are final and utterly inarguable, no exceptions. I, and I alone, can determine what is right.

Any references that are unclear to you, due to language or geography, should be understood to be authored from the perspective of an English-speaking American. However...

Your answers do not necessarily have to be correct in order to score points. If I ask "who is the most villainous quarterback ever" and you and seven others respond with "Tom Brady" I will reluctantly award you all 8 points before smacking you upside the head and telling you it was clearly Dean Houston (he should never have slapped that kid).

Here is the list of those who have climbed to the highest of mountains:

Abe Sargent - IWS#49, IWS#149
Ahbrady - IWS#15, IWS#41, IWS#85, IWS#100
Airhog - IWS#1
Albionmoonlight - IWS#30, IWS#50, IWS#101, IWS#127, IWS#146, IWS#190, IWS#200, IWS#210
Archer219 - IWS#18, IWS#100
Arctus – IWS#135
Ardent Enthusiast - IWS#6
Atatange1 - IWS#79
Autumn - IWS #207
B&B - IWS#229
Barkeep49 - IWS#62, IWS#100, IWS#117, IWS#234
bbor - IWS#23, IWS#26
Bearcat729 - IWS#82, IWS#93
bhlloy - IWS#179
BishopMVP - IWS#36
Blade - IWS#13
BrianD - IWS#106
britrock88 - IWS#185, IWS#193, IWS#215, IWS#222, IWS #228
Bryce - IWS#40, IWS#53
Buccaneer - IWS#47
Butter_of_69 - IWS#128, IWS#144, IWS#158, IWS#176, IWS#225, IWS#227, IWS#241
Bsak16 - IWS#6, IWS#9, IWS#17
cartman - IWS#48, IWS#100, IWS#229, IWS#237
Celeval - IWS#146
Chief Rum - IWS#45, IWS#56, IWS#95
Claphamsa - IWS#184
CMP - IWS#171
Coffee Warlord - IWS#176, IWS#230
ColtCrazy - IWS#178
Comey - IWS#245
Cornhuskerly - IWS#46
Crim - IWS#57
Cringer - IWS#155, IWS#158
Cthomer5000 - IWS#54, IWS#75
CU Tiger - IWS#152, IWS#179, IWS #226, IWS#244
cuervo72 - IWS#27, IWS#38, IWS#191, IWS#211
DanGarion – IWS#100, IWS#122, IWS#178
Danny - IWS#54
Dodgerchick - IWS#177
Desert Dweller - IWS#6
Desnudo - IWS#88, IWS#120, IWS#137, IWS#199
Digamma - IWS#14, IWS#92, IWS#185, IWS#190, IWS#192, IWS#198, IWS#232
DougW #219
DukeRulesMAB - IWS#76
Dutch - IWS#90, IWS#189
EagleFan - IWS#41, IWS #244
Farrah Whitworth-Rahn - IWS#126
flere-imsaho - IWS#214, IWS#216
Frozenrope - IWS#86
George W Bush - IWS#80, IWS#84
Glengoyne - IWS#71
gold101 - IWS#63
GoSeahawks - IWS#64, IWS#131
gstelmack - IWS#116
Hammer755 - IWS#38
HeavyReign - IWS#23
Henry296 - IWS#12
Honolulu_Blue - IWS#129, IWS#144
Hoopsguy - IWS#170, IWS#174, IWS#181
HornedFrogPurple - IWS#10
jbergey22 - IWS#172, IWS#187
JeeberD - IWS#44, IWS#52, IWS#61, IWS#87, IWS#91, IWS#110, IWS#138, IWS#141
Jesse Ewiak – IWS#100
Joe Canadian - IWS#29
John Lynch - IWS#10
Karlifornia - IWS#81, IWS#97, IWS#99, IWS#124, IWS#134, IWS#158, IWS#161, IWS#172
kcchief19 - IWS#195
kingfc22- IWS#75, IWS#123, IWS#140, IWS#151
kurtism - IWS#79
KWhit - IWS#142, IWS#147, IWS#150, IWS#164
Lathum - IWS#182, IWS#206, IWS#212
lighhousekeeper - IWS#125, IWS#235, IWS#237
lurker - IWS#158
Logan – IWS#100, IWS#186
Maple Leafs - IWS#34, IWS#84, IWS#94, IWS#113, IWS#118, IWS#139, IWS#168
Marmel - IWS#8, IWS#211
Masked - IWS#22, IWS#30, IWS#31, IWS#33, IWS#100
MattJones4Heisman - IWS#157
mauboy1 - IWS#77
MIJB#19 - IWS#59, IWS#69, IWS#117, IWS#194
mrs stevew- IWS#240
Msf518 - IWS#11, IWS#15, IWS#35, IWS#39, IWS#100
Neuqua - IWS#19
Nilodor - IWS#208, IWS#217
nol - IWS#213, IWS#220
NoMyths - IWS#46
Noop - IWS#46
Nothingman - IWS#6, IWS#45
ntndeacon - IWS#81
Oliegirl - IWS#72, IWS#81
PackerFanatic - IWS#130
Panerd - IWS#3, IWS#84, IWS#89, IWS#107, IWS#120, IWS#133, IWS#190, IWS #201, IWS #231, IWS#236
PineTar - IWS#108
Pjstp20 - IWS#42
Primelord - IWS#11
PurdueBrad - IWS#173, IWS#197, IWS #205
Pyser - IWS#85, IWS#163, IWS#180, IWS#197, IWS#239, IWS#245
QuikSand - IWS#9, IWS#16, IWS#18, IWS#24, IWS#32, IWS#58, IWS#66, IWS#70, IWS#73, IWS#78, IWS#83, IWS#93, IWS#100, IWS#103, IWS#111, IWS#132, IWS#156, IWS#165, IWS#169, IWS#179, IWS#202, IWS#224, IWS#239, #IWS#242
Qwikshot - IWS#5
Radii – IWS#100, IWS#106, IWS#208
Raiders Army - IWS#154, IWS#179
Ramzavail - IWS#53
Raven Hawk - IWS#68, IWS#96
RendeR - IWS#6
RGunner - IWS#121
rkmsuf - IWS#145
RonnieDobbs - IWS#37
RPI-Fan - IWS#9, IWS#182, IWS#203
sabotai - IWS#143
Samdari - IWS#21
ScottVib - IWS#9
Solecismic - IWS#83
spleen1015 - IWS#98, IWS#196
SplitPersonality1 - IWS#4, IWS#104
Sterlingice - IWS#28, IWS#31, IWS#35, IWS#51, IWS#183, IWS#197
stevebollea - IWS#169
stevew- IWS#159, IWS#164 #204
Subby - IWS#107, IWS#110, IWS#112
Sublime 2 - IWS#25, IWS#134, IWS#148, IWS#161, IWS#179, IWS#188
Suburban Rhythm - IWS#221
Suicane75 - IWS#109
Swaggs - IWS#2, IWS#35
Tarcone - IWS#162
Tasan - IWS#65
TazFTW - IWS#153
ThunderingHERD - IWS#114, IWS#119, IWS#122
Timmae - IWS#115, IWS #224, IWS #228, IWS #238
Toddzilla - IWS#167
Tredwel - IWS#6, IWS#9, IWS#20, IWS#43, IWS#67, IWS#84
TRO - IWS#7, IWS#9, IWS#12, IWS#85, IWS#102, IWS#109, IWS#209
tucker342 - IWS#60
tyketime - IWS#175, IWS#178
Umbrella - IWS#218
Vince - IWS#37, IWS#46, IWS#62, IWS#233, IWS#243
wademoore - IWS#166
Warhammer - IWS#245
Wbatl1 – IWS#105, IWS#136
Whar - IWS#75
Wheels - IWS#55
WSUCougar – IWS#105

1) Stupid has all the luck, constantly cheering for teams that come up just short. Or sometimes, really, really short. In fact, his favorite NFL team got off to such a bad start, they fired the head coach. Who is the coach that got the axe?

2) When Stupid thought it couldn't get any worse, his college team went and brought more emotional harm. They had actually been great all year long. But, as college football goes, there's always controversy. And this year's team finished fifth in the final college football playoff seeding. That's right...they're atop the standings of those not in the college playoff. Who is Stupid's favorite college team, and newest proponent of an eight-team playoff?

3) Stupid says, screw this team stuff...I'm going to cheer on one player, and ride them all the way through their pro career. I'm going to get in on the bottom floor. So, he cheers for the player that he's certain is going to win the Heisman.

The voting winds shift, though, seemingly as soon as Stupid sets his sights upon the player in question. The stench of Stupid's fandom reaches voters, and another player somehow leapfrogs him, and everyone else, to the Heisman Trophy.

Whose chances did Stupid sabotage? Who will finish second in the Heisman balloting this year?

4) Back to the pro game...Stupid has had it with a team that can't keep stability at the top. So, he switches teams. He decides to tank completely, and get onto a bandwagon of an up-and-comer. There's only one problem here...as soon as he jumps on board, the team catches momentum...enough to move on up from the worst record in the league.

In a QB-driven league, and in a draft where the top two picks in next year's draft are likely to be highly sought-after quarterbacks...Stupid's newest favorite team manages to catch fire enough to finish with the #3 pick overall in next year's draft. And that is your question...who will finish out of the running for the services of Mr. Darnold or Mr. Rosen?

(Surely, they can trade up.)

5) Stupid is incredulous. Surely, law of averages, right? Well, we got this College Football Playoff. And lo and behold, they already played the semifinals. So I only have to pick from two teams! Hot dog!

He throws all of his support behind one team. A friend of his, when seeing Stupid join the Official ______ Fan Club on Facebook, posts on his wall, "Please don't do that."

"well celberate all nite long lolz how u ben" responds Stupid. He receives no response, as his friend has unfollowed him, thus saving himself of a conversation as to why he deleted Stupid from his friends' list.

Which college football team has Stupid damned to lose in the NCAA Championship Game, Presented by Sears, Tostitos, Westinghouse and GoDaddy.com?

6) Dammit all, Stupid says to himself. Fine. There's the Super Bowl. The two behemoths of the professional gridiron. The halftime show. The commercials. Oh, my goodness...the commercials. All of the prop bets. How long is the Star-Spangled Banner! How are stars spangled, anyway. Nobody spangles things anymore. Have you realized that?

Focus, Stupid. Focus.

I'm pretty sure you know what happens here. Who loses this season's Super Bowl?

Answers are due by Thursday, September 14, at 11:59pm EST. Do not forget to PM me...do not respond to the thread. Thank you!

[Comey]

Bump for the AM crowd.

[Young Drachma]

snet

[Comey]

Bump

[ntndeacon]

Snict

[Comey]

Responses are due tomorrow night! Hopefully a couple more respond.

[Comey]

Last day for responses! Hope to get a couple of more!

[MIJB#19]

sent! (yesterday already, actually. )

[Comey]

I will have the results hopefully tonight...if not, then by tomorrow afternoon. I didn't get quite the response I was hoping for, but I still got several!

[Comey]

So this was light, as nine responded. I had to check other competitions to make sure I calculated correctly.

Here are the responses:

1) Stupid has all the luck, constantly cheering for teams that come up just short. Or sometimes, really, really short. In fact, his favorite NFL team got off to such a bad start, they fired the head coach. Who is the coach that got the axe?

Marvin Lewis - 3
Todd Bowles - 2
Hue Jackson - 2
Ben McAdoo - 1
Chuck Pagano - 1

2) When Stupid thought it couldn't get any worse, his college team went and brought more emotional harm. They had actually been great all year long. But, as college football goes, there's always controversy. And this year's team finished fifth in the final college football playoff seeding. That's right...they're atop the standings of those not in the college playoff. Who is Stupid's favorite college team, and newest proponent of an eight-team playoff?

Oklahoma - 2
Ohio State - 2
Clemson - 2
LSU - 1
Michigan - 1
Penn State - 1

3) Stupid says, screw this team stuff...I'm going to cheer on one player, and ride them all the way through their pro career. I'm going to get in on the bottom floor. So, he cheers for the player that he's certain is going to win the Heisman.

The voting winds shift, though, seemingly as soon as Stupid sets his sights upon the player in question. The stench of Stupid's fandom reaches voters, and another player somehow leapfrogs him, and everyone else, to the Heisman Trophy.

Whose chances did Stupid sabotage? Who will finish second in the Heisman balloting this year?

Lamar Jackson - 3
Josh Rosen - 2
Sam Darnold - 2
Baker Mayfield - 2


4) Back to the pro game...Stupid has had it with a team that can't keep stability at the top. So, he switches teams. He decides to tank completely, and get onto a bandwagon of an up-and-comer. There's only one problem here...as soon as he jumps on board, the team catches momentum...enough to move on up from the worst record in the league.

In a QB-driven league, and in a draft where the top two picks in next year's draft are likely to be highly sought-after quarterbacks...Stupid's newest favorite team manages to catch fire enough to finish with the #3 pick overall in next year's draft. And that is your question...who will finish out of the running for the services of Mr. Darnold or Mr. Rosen?

(Surely, they can trade up.)

Cleveland - 4
NY Jets - 2
San Francisco - 1
Jacksonville - 1
Arden Key - 1 (pretty sure the question was misread, but it didn't affect the standings)

5) Stupid is incredulous. Surely, law of averages, right? Well, we got this College Football Playoff. And lo and behold, they already played the semifinals. So I only have to pick from two teams! Hot dog!

He throws all of his support behind one team. A friend of his, when seeing Stupid join the Official ______ Fan Club on Facebook, posts on his wall, "Please don't do that."

"well celberate all nite long lolz how u ben" responds Stupid. He receives no response, as his friend has unfollowed him, thus saving himself of a conversation as to why he deleted Stupid from his friends' list.

Which college football team has Stupid damned to lose in the NCAA Championship Game, Presented by Sears, Tostitos, Westinghouse and GoDaddy.com?

Alabama - 5
USC - 1
Michigan - 1
UCLA - 1
Ohio State - 1


6) Dammit all, Stupid says to himself. Fine. There's the Super Bowl. The two behemoths of the professional gridiron. The halftime show. The commercials. Oh, my goodness...the commercials. All of the prop bets. How long is the Star-Spangled Banner! How are stars spangled, anyway. Nobody spangles things anymore. Have you realized that?

Focus, Stupid. Focus.

I'm pretty sure you know what happens here. Who loses this season's Super Bowl?

New England - 4
Kansas City - 1
Seattle - 1
Oakland - 1
Atlanta - 1
Green Bay - 1

In this case, the last question is what swung things, I believe. Not having New England meant the difference between first and being the answer to a seventh question in this survey.

Not having to worry about the podium
MIJB#19 - 4

Can go to Dairy Queen now
EagleFan - 6

Fun Dip, engage!
ntndeacon - 8

Nope.
Young Drachma - 12

Perfectly mediocre
albionmoonlight - 160

If this were the Olympics, they'd win this competition by finishing fourth.
Butter - 360

Medal for Ughly
nilodor - 480

Baker Mayfield - his not finishing first is contagious
chesepeake - 640

The first time Marvin Lewis won something somewhat meaningful!
claphamsa

Congratulations to the "winner", Clap! Your IWS will surely be better than this one, because logic.

(Thanks for playing everyone.)

[Young Drachma]

2nd career win for clap. Still zero for me. I am doomed.

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by Comey

Arden Key - 1 (pretty sure the question was misread, but it didn't affect the standings)

One-way ticket to last place.

[claphamsa]

WOOOO ME! hating on Marvin is what did it

[chesapeake]

I'm pleasantly surprised by my silver medal. Congrats on the win, clap.

[Comey]

Originally Posted by chesapeake

I'm pleasantly surprised by my silver medal. Congrats on the win, clap.

Technically, that means you should win this particular contest. But there's something about "protocol" or "rules".