So my son didn't make the team...

[Warhammer]

My 14 year old went out for the high school soccer team. They had two days of tryouts, and he didn't make it. This in and of itself would not be a big deal. The problem is, there were not just one or two kids that are worse than my son that made the team, but 4 or 5 that made the team while he did not.

I asked him how he felt he played, and how he compared to a few select kids (ones that I either coached or coached against in the last year). In each case he felt he played equal to or better than each over the last two days, and in the case of measureables, he was towards the top of the list in most categories.

I have no idea what to tell him. There were several kids that he went head to head against last year and came out on top (man to man type match ups). He even picked one kid out specifically and asked, "if we scrimmage, and I man mark him, and he does nothing, why does he get picked and I do not?" According to him, his measureables were better as well.

So my question is, what the heck do I tell him? Work hard and try again next year, but realistically, what are the chances he makes the team next year after not making it this year? Would not being able to make some coaching sessions in the middle of the day (because my wife works and I travel) impact his chances of making a high school team? If I have him talk to the coaches, will they give him advice regarding why he didn't make the team?

This is a kid that has been the top player on his team that has won regionals twice and was runner up the last three years, no one else in town can claim this (well me as coach, but player wise only him). He is pretty good at sizing up the opposition realistically. I am out of town so have no idea how he looked. He's shattered right now, and I have no idea what to say.

Coincidentally, there have been rumblings in the past about the sports program locally being fairly political. I'd like to not believe it, but I've coached against a lot of these kids and am scratching my head. Does that play a role in high school sports? Does whether or not a player played AAU or select factor into the selection process?

[Butter]

Springboro?

[tarcone]

Put him on a select team and hope the HS coach gets fired.

Have him ask the coach what was up and what he needs to do to make the team.

Have him volunteer to be the manager if he can practice with the team. Keeps him involved and he can see what he needs to do.

Just some ideas.

[JPhillips]

At the HS level he should definitely be given the courtesy of being told how he can improve.

[Warhammer]

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

Springboro?

How'd you guess?

[Butter]

I think you mentioned it in a thread where you were looking for good pizza or something.

That and Springboro youth sports are fucking terrible. I say this as the parent of a Miamisburg football player. Springboro coaches in every sport I've seen and talked to parents about are arrogant and cliquey.

I'm sorry your son is going through it. Hopefully someone has good advice for you, because it would surprise me for him to end up treated fairly there unless he's been through all the years in the same youth program with the same kids and parents.

[Butter]

Should say Springboro school sponsored sports are terrible, not necessarily the youth programs.

[Warhammer]

Originally Posted by tarcone

Put him on a select team and hope the HS coach gets fired.

Have him ask the coach what was up and what he needs to do to make the team.

Have him volunteer to be the manager if he can practice with the team. Keeps him involved and he can see what he needs to do.

Just some ideas.

My wife had him send an email to the coach. I suggested the manager route as well, I did that back in the day for basketball and wound up earning a spot. I hope they respond to his email.

[Warhammer]

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

I think you mentioned it in a thread where you were looking for good pizza or something.

That and Springboro youth sports are fucking terrible. I say this as the parent of a Miamisburg football player. Springboro coaches in every sport I've seen and talked to parents about are arrogant and cliquey.

I'm sorry your son is going through it. Hopefully someone has good advice for you, because it would surprise me for him to end up treated fairly there unless he's been through all the years in the same youth program with the same kids and parents.

I certainly see that perspective.

When we first got here, everyone wanted to know who he was because he was immediately the best or second best player on his team, and no one knew who he was. Then I became in demand as a coach in part due to him, and in part due to the fact I know a bit about soccer (game tactics were handed over to me each of the last three years).

[Atocep]

We went through this with 8th grade baseball this year.

We just moved into a new school district (directly next to the one we lived. The move was less than 5 miles.) and it was right as baseball tryouts were getting ready. Tryouts were over 6 days and he wasn't getting much consideration and was clearly an afterthought to the coaches for the first 4. Through 4 days he had 5 flyballs hit by coaches to him, about a dozen groundballs he took at 3rd, a 15 pitch bullpen session he caught, and then 10 pitches to hit. That covered 4 days of tryouts.

The last 2 days of tryouts they split them up into two teams and had them play a scrimmage. The first day he went something like 2-2, threw a guy out stealing 2nd, and blocked any pitch in the dirt. After that day the coach actually sought him out in the parking lot afterwards and commended him on having a "heck of a day out there". He had been a little nervous up until then, but figured that was a pretty good sign he had made it (I agree, you don't say something like that to a kid the day before cuts and then cut him). The 2nd day he had a couple more hits, back picked someone at 1st, threw another guy out at 3rd stealing, and once again kept everything in front of him.

And he was cut.

Now he's played baseball in this area on select teams for several years and despite being new to the school district and not knowing the baseball coach, he knew every kid that made the team from playing baseball in this area. He was considered such a lock to make the team the kids were joking with him as he came off the field saying "so you got cut, right?" and he had to tell them he did. He was told by the coach that he would have been their starting catcher last year, but he just had better guys this year. My son has been friends with last year's starting catcher for 5-6 years and my son probably is a a bit better behind the plate, but that kid is also in line to be the starting varsity catcher next year as a sophomore (started JV this year as a freshman and the varsity catcher was a senior). 2 of the 3 catchers they ended up keeping don't start at catcher for their select teams. The 3rd, honestly, is a better middle infielder than catcher.

We're almost 6 months past this and both he and I still get coaches from select teams and parents that know us bring it up because it was so ridiculous. My son took it better than I expected. I know 8th grade baseball isn't a very big deal. It's an 8 game season plus 2 playoff games. He ended up playing around 50-60 games between his 14u team and the 15u team he was sent up to midway through the season. Still, I thought he'd take it pretty hard. Instead, he took it personally (in a good way) and worked even harder.

The payoff came a few weeks ago when he was out playing for his 15u team. The 15u coaches (a couple of local college players) apparently had a some complaints by parents and my son's coach oversees the coaching staff for our teams. So he was out at the game with a guy that's a local legend around here as far as baseball goes. Multiple All-State teams guy in HS, state championship, PAC10 POY at WSU, ect. Everyone involved in baseball knows him and I know him a bit, but hadn't talked to him in about 2 years. My son was playing pretty well that day and around the 3rd inning the guy saw me asked why I was at the game. I told him my son was playing and he asked which one he was. I told him he was the catcher and he immediately goes "oh, he's the 14 year old. Where will he go to high school?". I told him where, and he asked if the High School coach was aware he was an incoming 9th grader next year and I told him no, we've never talked to him. He pulled out his phone right there and said "we'll fix that", and proceeded to text the high school coach all about him.

I told my son what happened after the game because it tied in with a lesson his coach has been driving home to players about "you never know who's watching". I honestly don't know if I've ever seen the kid so happy.

So my advice is if it's something he really wants, stay at it and work hard. For my son it was only 8th grade and he moves on to a different set of coaches next year. For your son, I'd have him ask for feedback on what he can do for next year, have him find out what the offseason timeframe is for when coaches can work with kids (for baseball, for example, it's through August 1st here) and ask if the coaches are willing to work with him during that offseason timeframe. If the coaches are serious about building a program they should be willing to do it.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Every situation like this probably has its own particulars, not always a one size fits all response fortunately/unfortunately.

We went through this with tennis as some of you may recall.
Year 1, basically a practice player.
Year 2, part-time starter but cast aside in favor of a guy with connections, despite having the best record of any of those part-timers AND despite the school having to violate black letter policy to bring the guy in just in time for year-end tournament play (policy is NO two-sport athletes in same season ... they decided to create an exception).

Year 3? The handwriting was on the wall after a meeting with me/coach/AD where I was told that as far as they were concerned he was lucky to have ever seen the court & that it was the only time in probably three decades we'd been that low on talent for it to happen. After being the only guy who didn't skip practice, the best record of all the candidates, etc., he opted to walk away rather continue with a senior season that was obviously going nowhere.

We weren't part of the right clique, there were several political parts in play involving coaches, it was just ... obvious.

The manager thing was offered a couple of times, but at our place that's basically license to abuse former players, it's about the worst scenario possible ... but that's very location by location, even sport/team specific.

In the end, it worked out. He had more fun as the baseball p.a. announcer all season -- for a team filled with his senior buddies -- and was actually treated with more respect & appreciation by that staff than he ever saw from playing.
And got paid $25/game to boot. It was a win in the end, just not fun to go through.

I wish your son nothing but the best of luck, but my best case scenario is that he finds something else that makes him even happier than this would have.

[MrBug708]

Transfer to a different school? That seems to be the answer to every football prospect who doesn't get what they want (Not saying you are this same case, just commenting on the narrative of sports these days)

[flere-imsaho]

The upside to all these stories is that your kids are learning about something that's going to happen to them a lot out in the workforce. Figuring out how to deal with it now, when it's not your livelihood, or at least getting exposed to it, is good. Well, silver lining good.

[Vince, Pt. II]

I had a similar thing happen to me my freshman year of high school with regard to the baseball team. The short version of the story:

Tried out for second base, didn't make the team despite a really good tryout over several days. Approached the coach afterward to ask where I had fallen short and what I needed to improve upon. Coach gave me the feedback that "some kids just don't have the natural talent to play the game." I was livid, and should have known better - I went to a private Jesuit high school, and my parents weren't exactly donors. That summer, I got a job as a swim instructor and the coach of a private swim team. The job precluded me from playing sports, and while I would have much rather played sports than work the job, I thumbed my nose at the school for cutting me as a freshman and never tried out again.


There are very, very few things I regret in life - not trying out for the baseball team more than once in high school is still one of them.

Originally Posted by flere-imsaho

The upside to all these stories is that your kids are learning about something that's going to happen to them a lot out in the workforce. Figuring out how to deal with it now, when it's not your livelihood, or at least getting exposed to it, is good. Well, silver lining good.

This is a really, really good point. To that point, I had never really had to deal with disappointment like that. It was a tremendous learning experience, despite the fact that it sucked absolute ass at the time.

[Marc Vaughan]

Originally Posted by flere-imsaho

The upside to all these stories is that your kids are learning about something that's going to happen to them a lot out in the workforce. Figuring out how to deal with it now, when it's not your livelihood, or at least getting exposed to it, is good. Well, silver lining good.

This - it sucks having to go through it, but life is unfortunately full of such things, learning how to handle them in a manner which isn't destructive (and indeed helps you grow) is invaluable imho.

(this is speaking as someone who never managed to make his village soccer team as a teenager because it was nearly entirely comprised of people from a handful of families and if you hadn't lived in the village for several generations you didn't get a look in - I even had the 'interesting' experience of attending a trial match once, being told I'd be a sub and never actually getting time on the pitch ...)

[korme]

My quick small suggestions:

-Tell him to hold his head up and keep working his ass off. He's only 14.

-Talk to any coaches and ask for their advice, be respectful and never disagree or argue. Even if he doesn't agree with their opinions, it is theirs and it won't change if he fights it. Simple thank yous go a long way.

[booradley]

Coaches love to see desire and heart. They also love to be seen as mentors. If your kid goes straight to the coach (in person), asks the coach's opinion on how he can improve, and impresses upon him his huge desire to make the team next year, he will have put himself on the radar. Now that coach has an invested relationship with him.

This sort of attitude works even better in the business world, IMHO.

[booradley]

I love these stories btw, because I relate to them. Takes me back to my own soph year when I really struggled to make the varsity travel team in wrestling.

[CU Tiger]

These situations are always so tough. I've got a few separate, semi-disjointed, thoughts here so I am going to throw them out almost stream on conscious as Im on my phone and dont type well on it.

1) It's cliche or even trite to our generation but I've found it profoundly impactful to our kids generation to remind them of the MJ story. I even went as far as showing the "Be Like Mike"video to a young guy I mentor a bit. I think it had a big impact. Michale Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team.

2) It would be great if the coach would give you and he 15 minutes together. Don't attack the coach just explain how important soccer is to your son and that he wants to do everything in his power to make the team and contribute next year(Im not selfish I WANT to help YOU) . Rely on your coaching experience and tell him you want to know what skills your son needs to work on.

This will tell you a lot if he doesn't have specific skills that he can identify, well he might have written him off too quick.

3) Based on your coaching success and reputation in the community, it may well be that the school coach is intimidated by you. Dont rule that out. Especially if the team has struggled and he feels his job is in any jeopardy. It might not be the worst idea ever to just develop a friendly cordial relationship with the coach.

4) Finally as someone who has been on the other side (The coach cutting the rec league superstar) I have to say this. Often times at the freshman level, player selection has a bit of a projection aspect to it as well. If two kids are VERY close and one has gotten by simply by being the biggest kid in rec ball, or the most physically developed motor skill wise, and the other is a step behind but more fundamentally sound. Or even "more coachable" or, or, or, a number of other factors I have kept kids when I was coaching middle school football that weren't as good of players as some I cut. Because of a myriad of mixtures of the above factors.
Now a good coach, imho, can have that conversation with you and explain those factors. He may or may not choose to do it in front of your son.But man to man he should be able to have that conversation.

[cougarfreak]

The coach should be more than willing to speak with your son one on one and give him advice, reasons, etc. I coached HS Baseball for 9 years and Soccer for 11. I always cut face to face with the student-athletes, and told them right then and there the above. And.........I had to go back and do it more than once AGAIN at a parent's request. It's part of the job. Put your son on a select team, and have him try out again next year. I always told kids...........if you really think I'm wrong, please, make me look like an idiot and make the team, and be one of the better, if not the best player on the team. My ego wasn't big enough that I wouldn't admit a year later I was wrong.

[Gary Gorski]

I think this is a fantastic learning experience for your son - it was for me. In elementary school I was the starting point guard and one of the better players so I didn't even imagine I could be cut in HS but I was from the frosh team. I asked the coaches about it after and they gave me an answer I knew was pretty much bs at the time - the truth basically was that they had never met me, had nothing invested in me and couldn't care less about me so they chose either kids who they had known from somewhere or kids that were just bigger than I was regardless of who played better over three days.

I tried out as a soph and again was cut from the JV team. This time around it really seemed like the team was kind of already picked before tryouts and I decided to not even bother anymore.

What I realized at some point between then and my senior year was that the teams always were kind of picked ahead of time.

As a senior I got to know the varsity coach a little bit. I had one of his classes and I spent time telling him I wanted to play basketball. He told me there was essentially no reason to put a senior who had never been in the program on the team but I kept after him. Just kept talking to him before or after class, in the hall, wherever. I went to tryouts and made the team and when he told me I made the team he pretty much said that there was no reason to keep me, I probably wouldn't play much at all but that he liked my tenacity and thought I would be good to have on the team.

Making the team as senior wasn't some feel-good lesson about never giving up, you can always achieve what you want, etc...the lesson was that its all about the relationship. I realized that because I never had a relationship with any of the other coaches they had no reason to keep me unless I flat out wowed them and they would be turning away a starter. When it came to anything else being somewhat better over a course of a few days was much less important than the person in charge already having a vested interest in me. The varsity coach kept me because he liked me. He knew I would be there every day. He knew I would never bitch about playing time. He hoped that as senior I could be a leader to the kids who were going to be important to the program in terms of playing. It had zero to do with what I did during tryouts.

That was the important lesson to learn because that's how the world works. If you want a job you have to know someone. When a company has an important position available they already have someone in mind to fill it. I think we can all relate to plenty of times in our professional lives where we have seen someone far less qualified get a promotion or get the job because ability was not the top criteria they were hiring on.

My advice is make sure your son understands that and that he gets experience in learning "how to play the game". Maybe it won't benefit him at all with this soccer program but it sure as hell will later on at some point.

[Suicane75]

God damn, I'm happy that I grew up in a time and a place where all you had to do was show up to play.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Suicane75

God damn, I'm happy that I grew up in a time and a place where all you had to do was show up to play.

Must be the place more than the time (unless you're a helluva lot older than I realized). We had cuts in pretty much every sport even when I was in HS (80-84), and that was in a small school (100-125 in the graduating class in those days)

[Suicane75]

I was in 8th grade in 89 and yeah, we were a really small school. But I didn't even try out for the baseball team because of a myriad of depression related issues, and the coach flat out told me I could play if I wanted, just to help me out socially/mentally. A world of difference it seems. And it wasn't like outside of some power, I was particularly above average.

[cuervo72]

I was cut in baseball trying out as a senior, not having played in school since 9th grade (which was at the Jr High). I'd focused on football, like I was told. *shurg* But keeping me really wouldn't have made sense, not with younger kids who were just as good as I was.

Football, there we had no cuts. You make it through camp without quitting, you're on the team. Might not make it on the field during a game, but we could use you for scout team and drill fodder.

[BishopMVP]

Originally Posted by Warhammer

My 14 year old went out for the high school soccer team. They had two days of tryouts, and he didn't make it. This in and of itself would not be a big deal. The problem is, there were not just one or two kids that are worse than my son that made the team, but 4 or 5 that made the team while he did not.

I asked him how he felt he played, and how he compared to a few select kids (ones that I either coached or coached against in the last year). In each case he felt he played equal to or better than each over the last two days, and in the case of measureables, he was towards the top of the list in most categories.

I have no idea what to tell him. There were several kids that he went head to head against last year and came out on top (man to man type match ups). He even picked one kid out specifically and asked, "if we scrimmage, and I man mark him, and he does nothing, why does he get picked and I do not?" According to him, his measureables were better as well.

So my question is, what the heck do I tell him? Work hard and try again next year, but realistically, what are the chances he makes the team next year after not making it this year? Would not being able to make some coaching sessions in the middle of the day (because my wife works and I travel) impact his chances of making a high school team? If I have him talk to the coaches, will they give him advice regarding why he didn't make the team?

This is a kid that has been the top player on his team that has won regionals twice and was runner up the last three years, no one else in town can claim this (well me as coach, but player wise only him). He is pretty good at sizing up the opposition realistically. I am out of town so have no idea how he looked. He's shattered right now, and I have no idea what to say.

Coincidentally, there have been rumblings in the past about the sports program locally being fairly political. I'd like to not believe it, but I've coached against a lot of these kids and am scratching my head. Does that play a role in high school sports? Does whether or not a player played AAU or select factor into the selection process?

1st I'm assuming he was cut from the freshman team and won't be on a team at all, not just cut from Varsity and placed on a lower team - if the latter's the case there's no reason to do anything other than work hard in practice & games. In the former, I definitely recommend having your son asking the coach (without singling out other players imo) why he was cut and what he can work on to get better. If he's not satisfied with the answer, that's a time you can get involved, but that first step needs to come from him (as he did).

I would caution against assuming it's all politics when incompetence is a more likely explanation. Most of my experience from the coaching side is in lacrosse, not soccer, but they're similar in that there are 20+ kids on a field and so much of the game is about understanding spacing or tactics, which usually isn't as easy to identify if you're not looking for it/good at your job. Sounds from your brief description like your son falls into that category where a lot of his good work is reading the game and negating things before they happen instead of being a flashy player. And especially if there's only one coach (was there 1 freshman coach alone, or were there multiple staff members evaluating - back when I played at the HS FR was completely separate from JV/V, but we've modified that and try to have both myself as JV coach and the V coach work with the FR for at least a couple days because it always help to build those relationships and getting a bit of a read), 2 days of tryouts seems awfully short to be getting a read on that many kids...

I think the answer he gets from the coach also informs the next move. If the coach seems reasonable, maybe offering to be a manager who practices with the team but doesn't dress for games is a play you make. Injuries and suspensions have a way of adding up! That's definitely a little awkward though, and needs the right people to make it work. Otherwise if select teams are still available (the only in season ones up here are Revs Academy or the others in the USDA that supersede HS teams) that sounds like a solid option, and even going out for cross country to stay in shape and do something isn't a terrible fallback. Definitely try out again next year, because even if there is some politics or incompetence, it's a sport where 20 kids make a roster - if you're better than 4 or 5 kids you can fall through the cracks, but if you're better than 14 or 15 you're getting kept. I was cut from JV soccer my sophomore year (mostly because I had terrible measurements in any timed running), tried out again as a JR, scored 5 goals in the 3 scrimmages before cuts and was told "Well, I guess I have to keep you now." which wasn't the most inspiring vote of confidence, but screw him, I was on the team.

[Scoobz0202]

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

Should say Springboro school sponsored sports are terrible, not necessarily the youth programs.

Yup. Live here and while the area is nice it is slowly, or quickly, becoming a 2nd Oakwood as far as attitude.

[Mota]

Same thing happened to my son in May.

He is 12 years old, and the past two years he was the top scorer on his rep hockey team. #1 two years ago and #3 this year. Top assister on the team and #3 in goals.

New coach comes in, and cuts him. And after two years on a super successful team (#1 AE team in the province two years ago and #3 this year), it didn't matter. You'd think that being the top scorer over the past two years on one of the most successful teams in the province would mean something, but it didn't.

The worst player in the team made it. The kid can barely skate, yet somehow still made the team. The parents are extremely wealthy and hosted several parties that season. How much do you want to bet that sponsorship had something to do with it?

From the players that went down and the players that came up, it was blatantly obvious that it wasn't based on merit, but based on who is friends with who. The new coach made room for his buddies' kids.

Later we found out that he was cut before the tryouts even started. He blatantly lied to us and to others about the situation.

We pulled my son out of this center and moved him to another league. Unfortunately it's residential rules here, so he can only play rep in that town, but I'm happy to play at a lower level where he will not have to face this type of judgement.

If our town wants our son to play rep again, they can call us and offer him a spot, because we're out, and not coming back unless they can assure us of this position. I'm not sending him skating across the ice a million times when it doesn't matter, their minds are made up already.

I just hope that our old coach will be able to get his job back next year and change things. He was the guy that broke all the old boys clubs in the town and made a lot of necessary changes in the first place.

[Warhammer]

Thanks for the tips and advice. He is considering a select team, but he seems pretty determined. We have not heard back from the coaches at all which is frustrating.

[JPhillips]

Give it some time, but if the coaches don't respond I'd go to the school admin. At the HS level they have an obligation to participate in the education of all the students.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Warhammer

Thanks for the tips and advice. He is considering a select team, but he seems pretty determined. We have not heard back from the coaches at all which is frustrating.

At the risk of kinda repeating myself, I'm going to say this again: try to get him to consider, I mean seriously think about it: in the absence of option one, what will make him happiest? Or at least has the highest ceiling for enjoyment / lowest misery floor.

We effective went through this twice in my son's HS career: he stuck it out after the first round ... and I saw him actually have fun on a court once in three years. Tennis was fine, school tennis was misery.

He finally opted to leave it with 'em for his final year, and had a fantastic time doing something else.

edit: I say that all because, in the final days before he departs for college, one of the things I regret parentally is that he didn't have more experiences like the latter than the former. Teaching perseverance is one thing, but encouraging suffering that is unlikely to have a payoff is something different IMO. (not suggesting that you're doing that, heck, mine did it to himself)

[flere-imsaho]

Yeah, to echo Jon (I think), it's all well and good to keep persevering after a spot, but unless there's a real shot at going professional (i.e. very, very small), it's also an opportunity to check other stuff out that the kid might like.

[Warhammer]

Originally Posted by JPhillips

Give it some time, but if the coaches don't respond I'd go to the school admin. At the HS level they have an obligation to participate in the education of all the students.

I have not been impressed with the coaches throughout this process. There has been a lack of communication throughout which I think is ridiculous.

[Warhammer]

Originally Posted by flere-imsaho

Yeah, to echo Jon (I think), it's all well and good to keep persevering after a spot, but unless there's a real shot at going professional (i.e. very, very small), it's also an opportunity to check other stuff out that the kid might like.

This is coming from him, not me. I am leaving it up to him. As I mentioned before, I have not been very impressed with the coaches during the process. All the ones I had in HS communicated in a timely manner and gave me a list of things to work on, if asked. That is what I modeled my open door policy on when I was coaching.

[JonInMiddleGA]

[quote=Warhammer;3112749 All the ones I had in HS communicated in a timely manner and gave me a list of things to work on, if asked. [/QUOTE]

I'd say that would be the minority today. Maybe not by a huge margin, but still.

[CU Tiger]

Yeah I agree Jon.

Seems like current teachers and coaches today are less...professional/mature than in our generation.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by CU Tiger

Yeah I agree Jon.

Seems like current teachers and coaches today are less...professional/mature than in our generation.

Yeah, though when posting that notion I almost included a "in fairness" caveat with it.

It does seem like HS jobs - generally speaking - aren't tougher to get these days (since there's so many more of them) but they may be tougher to keep than they used to be.

That adds a degree of difficulty/complexity that might not have been so present in "my era".

In the past three years I've watched, lemme see here ....
-- an all-time winningest coach in school history get ousted because he (unintentionally) offended a precious snowflake in the classroom. Said snowflake was the daughter of a state-level politician so out he went.

-- a damned good coach walk away from a solid assistant's job to take a head coach spot at a historically struggling (and definitely challenging) school because he's a bit of a "true believer" about the need for ... well, I'll shorthand it to "bad kids to have good role models". He's dumped after two years (with no shortage of obvious racial bias) in favor of a guy who flamed out spectacularly when he ditched the local area two years prior. (Yeah, this one is too complicated to explain very well without it's own post)

-- a state title winning coach -- in his rookie season no less -- in a secondary sport dumped unceremoniously since he failed to properly kiss the ass of an egocentric admin

-- farther from home, the absurd "headbutting incident" involving most recognizable coach in the state. Initially suspended for a year after a complaint ... from a suburban housewife literally hundreds of miles away with no connection to the job nor the situation. Later rescinded to a year's "probation"

And that's just the examples off the top of my head, all within 10 miles of me except the last one. Never mind several others in similar vein, no more than 15 miles out, that come to mind. And never mind the ones that I'm not even aware of.

In our region for football this coming season there are 10 teams. Over half have coaches in their first or second season, there are only two that have more than four seasons in their position (and one of those would likely have been gone several years ago if not for his family being the largest single contributor to his private school employer). Last year, in the GHSA, there were 82 head coaching changes in football alone. That's over 20% turnover.

(For comparison, my traditionally horrible HS has only 9 head coaches in 50 years ... taht's a similar rate but it comes despite only one in history having a winning percentage over .450, and he's the current guy in his fifth season)

So while I'm more than willing to criticize a LOT of stuff I see out of coaches these days, I do have to admit that the pressures are likely greater than they've ever been at this level too.

[Warhammer]

I found out my son heard back from the coach, said he needed to work on ball handling skills, fitness, and agility. He was far more advanced than a couple of the guys that made the team (again, kids I coached or coached against) as far as ball handling skills. Fitness, I am unsure of how they measured this. According to my son, he was pleased as he was at least middle of the pack with all non-ball drills.

Now previously, my son told me during the agility drill he slipped twice, but still managed to post middle of the pack agility scores. While I am not sure how they measured this, he told me at the time he was mad because imagine how he would have scored had he not slipped.

Another interesting item I found out, one of the kids I coached last year did not tryout (good kid, lots of effort and potential), and his brother who made the team last year did not go back out for the team because he hated it.

From the sounds of it, JimG may be right.

[Atocep]

Originally Posted by Warhammer

From the sounds of it, JimG may be right.

In my son's case we found out the roster was more or less chosen beforehand. Confirmed when they saved a roster spot for a kid that couldn't try out because of a broken foot and wasn't getting out of a boot until 2 weeks after tryouts.

[tarcone]

Originally Posted by CU Tiger

Yeah I agree Jon.

Seems like current teachers and coaches today are less...professional/mature than in our generation.

Less mature or less open to insane expectations of parents?

Todays parent is a lot different than when we were kids also.

Today, it is all about fairness. My baby should be playing on the varsity team even though he/she sucks. And if he/she doesnt play Im raising holy hell.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by tarcone

Today, it is all about fairness.

Then again, it always should have been ... when "who somebody is" has been the longest standing issue with sports & kids.

[tarcone]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Then again, it always should have been ... when "who somebody is" has been the longest standing issue with sports & kids.

This is true.

I think we are expressing two different types of fairness.

I have never experienced a situation like you guys have gone through or going through.

But I have coached at a bunch pf different levels. Ive dealt with crazy parents. But I, also, was never biased towards an athlete based on politics.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by tarcone

But I, also, was never biased towards an athlete based on politics.

It's certainly more prevalent in "youth sports" than at the HS level in my experience, but I've seen it more times than I could easily count at that level too.

And that's from my HS years all the way through my parenting years, including a multi-decade gap where I was neither but was still associated in one form or another.

[Vince, Pt. II]

Originally Posted by Warhammer

From the sounds of it, JimG may be right.

While I mentioned that I regret my decision not to keep trying out for the team, had I decided to forgo my job as a swim coach and try out for the team, yet run into the same bullcrap again and again, I would have been absolutely miserable. So it's not as if pushing against an immovable object is an ideal situation.

[MizzouRah]

All I can add is.. welcome to HS sports! I tell my soccer kids to stay away.. of course they don't because they want to play for their school... but in some cases, it's all about who you know. I've seen it many, many times.

[Warhammer]

Originally Posted by Atocep

In my son's case we found out the roster was more or less chosen beforehand. Confirmed when they saved a roster spot for a kid that couldn't try out because of a broken foot and wasn't getting out of a boot until 2 weeks after tryouts.

They had 5 injured players they saved roster spots for. Each of them played for the school previously so I understood. I did not like it (it wasn't like that back in my day), but I understand it.

[CU Tiger]

Originally Posted by tarcone

Less mature or less open to insane expectations of parents?

Todays parent is a lot different than when we were kids also.

Today, it is all about fairness. My baby should be playing on the varsity team even though he/she sucks. And if he/she doesnt play Im raising holy hell.

Less mature.
I'm not even acknowledging stupid parent syndrome. I'm old school far the other way. I want the best 11/9/5 on the field EXCLUSIVELY until the game is completely out of question. Period. If Johnny never plays, he never plays.

In the last 3 years my son has had no less than 6 football coaches under 25. One of his former coaches routinely stays up til 3-4 AM playing Call of Duty with several of the players during the summer.

Our JV program takes the cake, though. (I'll give a brief back story)
Our home town high school Head Football coach made a triumphant return a few years back. His mom taught at the school for 35 years and is now on the school board. He coached at a neighboring schools for years, then became a HC when the next town over started a new High School. He won a few state titles (3 in 5 years) fueled mainly by an obscene and coincidental talent blossom. (seriously he had 4-5 1st round NFL draft picks in 1 graduating class and they all belonged in this small little town no recruiting shenanigans) So he was brought home to resurrect the hometown school. And he has done lots of good things. He is nearing retirement and the nepotism has begun, however.

His son was a small D2 QB but dropped out of college.
The "official" JV head coach is a 50 something history teacher who has never coached before but does come and hang out at practice. The actual coaching staff is said son and his college buddies. None of which graduated college. 3 are waiters or bartenders during the day and then roll into practice. Yesterday alone I watched a drone being flown at practice and "buzzing" the QB during passing drills. A blocking donut rolled into a kid running a route for a prank. BY THE COACHES!

Now the kids have fun and they are winning...but Im not sure it the responsible male role model that they need and certainly not the one I had. Again there are no sour grapes here. My son started all 11 games on Varsity last year as a Frosh. Likely will again this year, though the 10 quarter rule may come into play because of low numbers on JV as a kid recovers from a broke leg.

I just see more and more coaches as we travel around where they are frat boys rather than father figures.

Maybe Im just getting old and telling folks to stay off my lawn.

Shrug

[Atocep]

Originally Posted by Warhammer

They had 5 injured players they saved roster spots for. Each of them played for the school previously so I understood. I did not like it (it wasn't like that back in my day), but I understand it.

That's completely understandable. For 8th grade baseball not so much. There is no 7th grade team so everyone is supposed to be going out there with a blank slate.

Things seem to working out for my son. The High School coach is a good guy and a good evaluator of talent. As sad as it is that it needs to happen, he's also had multiple people give him a heads up on my son being an incoming 9th grader to watch out for. We've also had 2 HS coaches let be known that if he were to to transfer they have a varsity spot for him as a freshman. We have no interest in transferring though.

This year was a rough introduction to the politics of sports. For a kid that's never had to try out for a select team it was an eye opening experience and I'm proud of how he handled it.

I would tell your son to keep working if it's what he wants. Keep in touch with the coaches and, as I mentioned above, check to see if they're willing to do offseason work or if there's an offseason program.

[Warhammer]

There was an offseason program. He was able to attend the weightlifting/fitness portion since it fit in with my wife's work schedule. The offseason soccer sessions he did not attend. They were in the middle of the day, my wife could not swing it with work, and I travel.

[Young Drachma]

Hell this happened to me as a coach. Moved to a new town, they were hiring a HS coach for their boys program and they hired some townie who worked for the district who'd never coached varsity HS tennis -- much less college, as I have -- and had the nerve to tell me "he had more experience, because he once coached our girls a bunch of years ago."

"But if you want to volunteer...."

Everyone is giving good advice, but it's just kids sports and try not to make it a huge deal, even if he is. Just give him a sense of perspective. The select team route makes sense, the key is about playing & getting better. As a coach, these are the things that matter more anyway and who knows what opportunities could await down the road with a change in regime or who will notice him because of that.

The key is to keep playing though in whatever capacity he can. Managing isn't fun unless he just doesn't want to play anymore, it's cool to be adjacent to the team if he has friends on the club, but it could feel worse with them playing and him not.