01-15-2011, 08:25 PM | #1 | ||
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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2011 Golden Scribes Award Show
The 2011 Golden Scribes Award Show
Wednesday, January 19th at Radio City Music Hall Organizers: MacroGuru and sterlingice Order of Awards and Presenters Introduction - sterlingice - Morbo and Linda with Richard Nixon and Special Guest Baseball - PilotMan - Derek Jeter and Kristen Wiig Wrestling/MMA - Izulde - Izulde Jestor and Mateen Yeaton Other Sports - MacroGuru - Lance Armstrong TCY - molson - Bob Saget and Dave Coulier with Jesse Orosco and Alf Media - sterlingice - Troy McClure and C Montgomery Burns Basketball - Dark Cloud - The South Beach trio with Jay Z Real Life- SnDvls - Phil Keoghan & Jeff Probst Football: Other - path12 - Rex Ryan and Joe Theismann Werewolf - sterlingice - Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff, and Lon Cheney Jr Other - MacroGuru - Gary Gygax Soccer - PilotMan - PilotMan and Marc Vaughan Interactive - Dark Cloud - himself and IBM Super Computer Chris FOF - SnDvls - Fox NFL Sunday Team DOY 2006 - Izulde - TBD DOY 2007 - path12 - Ricky Gervais DOY 2008 - molson - TBD DOY 2009 - sterlingice - TBD DOY 2010 - MacroGuru - TBD Nomination and Voting thread: 2011 Golden Scribes Introduction (VOTE! Voting Ends Monday at 6PM ET) - Front Office Football Central SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" Last edited by sterlingice : 01-29-2011 at 11:06 AM. |
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01-15-2011, 08:26 PM | #2 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Saturday January 15th
Voting is still under way, presentations are still being created, and the theater is still being set up.
SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" Last edited by sterlingice : 01-16-2011 at 11:32 AM. |
01-16-2011, 11:32 AM | #3 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Sunday January 16th
More than half of the presentations are complete. Some of the celebrities for the show have arrived early. Still lacking the votes we'd really like to see.
SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
01-17-2011, 06:15 AM | #4 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Monday January 17th
The final ballots are feverishly being counted and the final touches are being put on the venue.
SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
01-18-2011, 09:21 PM | #5 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Tuesday January 18th
Final preparations are under way and the red carpet is out.
Starting now, members are encouraged to post about their striking appearances, gorgeous dates, etc. As with past Golden Scribes, people are encouraged, nay DEMANDED, to post and interact with the show. The show begins tomorrow night! SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
01-18-2011, 09:29 PM | #6 |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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Alf is hitting the pre-show sauce a little hard.
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01-18-2011, 09:43 PM | #7 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: DeKalb, IL
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A freshly-sauced PurdueBrad (thanks to "research" from his new dynasty about the Beer of the Month Club) strolls the red carpet with a measured gait. He is accompanied by his wife, his two year old Cash, and a designated driver because he's going to live it up some at the Golden Scribe Awards. It's been a rough year, but he's happy to be out on the town!
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01-18-2011, 09:47 PM | #8 |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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And I just saw Bob Saget and Dave Coulier in a heated argument backstage. This can't be good. I even saw Coulier do the "cut it out" thing - that's usually the precursor to a rumble.
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01-18-2011, 09:52 PM | #9 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
01-18-2011, 10:06 PM | #10 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Mays Landing, NJ USA
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Ricky Gervais (sp?) presenting?
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01-18-2011, 10:19 PM | #11 |
Coordinator
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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I'm here to pick up an agent.... Im afraid I'm going to leave empty handed in more ways than one.
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Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL |
01-18-2011, 10:21 PM | #12 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Wisconsin
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So, when the Wrestling/MMA award is announced, will we get the nominees and come back in 2 months?
__________________
You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its... |
01-18-2011, 10:39 PM | #13 |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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I'm trying to get some autographs back here but frankly, there's a lot of weirdos around. I think I just saw Jesse Orosco murder a stagehand for looking at him funny.
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01-18-2011, 11:01 PM | #14 |
Coordinator
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Utah
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The spirit of Gary Gygax has floated in off the carpet, through several of the guests mumbling something about never getting it right...
__________________
"forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future" |
01-18-2011, 11:03 PM | #15 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: DeKalb, IL
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PurdueBrad was quite disappointed to find that there was not a copy of Maximum Football in his gift bag. Seriously, what kind of production is this?!?
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01-18-2011, 11:31 PM | #16 |
Bounty Hunter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Catherine Zeta-Jones walks in and asks, "Where's Pumpy?" Little does she know that he's under her dress and has been there for about 20 minutes now.
__________________
No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. |
01-18-2011, 11:31 PM | #17 |
Bounty Hunter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Pittsburgh, PA
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Ah, she just figured it out.
__________________
No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. |
01-19-2011, 07:08 AM | #18 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Bethlehem, Pa
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i know i should be saying it is an honor just to be nominated and all that crap, but i know i didnt win (WW), so i am going to Scores
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01-19-2011, 09:06 AM | #19 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Utah
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Quote:
Well, you better head back...seems Lance Armstrong rented the place out for the after party!
__________________
"forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future" |
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01-19-2011, 07:00 PM | #20 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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I think it's time to get this started
SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
01-19-2011, 07:02 PM | #21 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Introduction
Announcer: "Live from Radio City Music Hall in New York, welcome to the 2011 Golden Scribes Award Show. Here are your hosts, from the Los Angeles root 2 news team, Morbo and Linda!"
Morbo: "Greetings, puny humans! Pitiful human announcer, you forgot my other show “Entertainment And Earth Invasion Tonite”. Across the galaxy my people are completing the mighty space fleet that will exterminate the human race!". Linda: *chuckles* "But first we will present this award show. These Golden Scribe Awards recognize excellent writing, typically in dynasty format, for the FOFC message board. Morbo: "Inferior human brains can only recognize dynasty format on one message board!" Linda: "It's been 5 long years since the Golden Scribes last graced the internet so we will give a little refresher for anyone unfamiliar with the awards." Morbo: "For the 2011 Golden Scribes, as you failed to name any feeble winners for the last five years, each of the individual sports categories have five nominees which cover the entire five year period. The Dynasty of the Year awards only have three frail winners as you were unable to name any more." Linda: "The 2009 Dynasty of the Year awards are an exception that we will make note of when we get to them." Morbo: "Today, the award show introduction and special guest will be posted. Starting tomorrow, 2 awards will be posted per day so the show will last a total of 10 days. The categories and order of ceremonies has been posted at the top of this thread. And now for..." *Distant mechanical sounds getting louder* *Loud crashing sounds coming from behind the stage* *Giant cyborg Nixon smashes through the left wall of the theater* NIXON: "NIXON'S BACK!" Morbo: "Morbo's good friend, Richard Nixon, has just destroyed the left portion of the stage with his entrance and crushed the spineless humans sitting too close to the stage. THEY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER!" Linda: *chuckles* "He sure knows how to make an entrance" Morbo: "Indeed." Linda: "It appears we also have a special guest watching through this new skylight. It's former Golden Scribes host and fellow Matt Groening cartoon character, Kodos." NIXON: "Any man who has an intergalactic army at his disposal is a friend of mine." *camera pans up to Kodos*
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" Last edited by sterlingice : 01-20-2011 at 06:27 AM. |
01-19-2011, 11:03 PM | #22 |
Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Kodos jetpacks down to the stage from his ship
Kodos: Greetings, plump and tasty humans! Almost ten of your Earth years ago, I began writing what is universally acknowledged as the greatest dynasty of all time, the Bill Gates Challenge. That is not something which can be disputed without legal action. Do not test me on this. My lawyers are on speed dial. You may clap for me now in reverence... cthomer starts to clap, and is promptly set upon by an angry mob. Curse these tentacles. Useless for clapping… Thank you! Thank you!!... I am truly humbled by your awed and continuous silence! Since there was no award at the time dedicated to the acknowledgment of the greatness of my-*ermm* our dynasty writings, I created an award so that my efforts could be properly celebrated, and so I could party down with some of your groupies. The profits from tickets were nice too. But you don’t know about that… Anyhow, many great times were had, and many imaginary trophies were handed out to folks who deserved imaginary trophies. Eventually, I was impregnated by an undetermined humanoid, and had to give up my dynasty writing. Completely coincidentally, my interest in handing out awards for dynasties also dried up around that same time. In the year 2005, I handed the reins of the Golden Scribes over to Grid Iron, who in turn foisted control onto Airhog in 2006. Now, in 2011, sterlingice and Macroguru have proven foolish enough to once more take up the Golden Scribes mantle. Who knows how many awards we’ll see between now and the time when they realize what a true pain in the ass running this show is?! But I ramble! Enough with the pleasantries. I don't want to take anymore time away from the stars of this show -- the dynasty writers! Enjoy the show, ladies and gentlemen! And congratulations to all of tonight's winners. Kodos makes a beeline for Natalie Portman's table in the back... Last edited by Kodos : 01-19-2011 at 11:10 PM. |
01-20-2011, 06:29 AM | #23 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Introduction Closing
Morbo: "Thank you, Kodos. May your conquest of Earth be soon in coming but long in duration"
Linda: *chuckles* "And now onto the show" 2 Categories will be posted for each of the next 10 days. Again, viewers are encouraged to post and interact as they see fit, particularly with acceptance speeches, etc. Today's categories are: Baseball - PilotMan Wrestling/MMA - Izulde SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" Last edited by sterlingice : 01-20-2011 at 06:32 AM. |
01-20-2011, 12:58 PM | #24 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Seven miles up
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{Narrator}
Welcome Ladies and Gentleman to the huge FOFC Golden Scribes spectacular where we celebrate the skills of real men. Real men who make up little fake worlds and then live in them. No, sorry, not exactly. What we are really celebrating are the people who live in those fake worlds and the men who have the imagination to make those fake worlds come alive so that we ourselves want to live in the little fake worlds with the little fake people. That leads us to our first presenters of the night, two of New York’s fakiest, uh, finest…… New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter and Saturday Night Live comedienne Kristen Wiig! They come out Jeter looks whispers something in Kristen’s ear, but she slaps him and he goes down! Wait… No… Instant replay showed she clearly missed him, but look at him flopping around like a crying little girl. Poor Derek. He must have been hanging around with the soccer guys too much. He get’s up and dusts himself off. Derek: Of course, you know Kristen, I automatically get to first base when I get hit! Watch out! I might try and steal second! {corny laugh} Kristen: Derek, uh, according to the papers, you’ve been to second to many times already. In fact, the only man who’s been to second more often is Colonel Sanders. Perhaps if you were more focused the Yankees would have won this year. Derek: Kristen we’re not here to talk about me-- Kristen: I am. Derek: Ahhh, C’mon (laughs). Nobody wants to hear about .314 career batting average, 11 All-star games, 5 Gold gloves, and 4 Silver Slug-- Kristen: I hit .350, with 15 all star games, 10 gold gloves and 9 Silver sluggers. Derek: uhhhh, and I …uh…. Kristen: I hit 400 homeruns, scored a thousand runs, and threw 5 perfect games. Derek: yeah, uh, let’s get--- Kristen: I also played in 3000 straight games, and beat the Red Sox by myself. Derek: Whoa!! Now you--- Kristen: Last year. Derek: Uhhhh, ok. So, uh yeah. {He looks completely lost} On to the award. Derek: Our nominees this year are….from 2006; 1946: Chaos in Elysium by Selzshoes. From 2007, Radical Baseball, Dark Cloud. From 2009, Blazing Glory: A RTTS Dynasty, EaglesFan27. From 2009, Revisiting my Childhood Days (1980 Cubs), hoops guy, and from 2010, The United Baseball Association, JetsIn06. Kristen: Aaannnnnd from 2010, The Curious Case of Kristen Wiig, by Kwigger. (fakes cheering and crowd noises) Derek: Right. I don’t think that was one of the nominees. Kristen: Yes, it was you must have missed it. {points to the spot on her card} Right there. Derek: And this year’s Golden Scribe for Baseball is - ----- Kristen: Kwigger! {Cheers all alone, grabs the trophy} Thank you to everyone for the love and support that you have shown me over these past few- Derek: {Stunned} KRISTEN, STOP! {laughs, stares blankly into the camera} What are you doing? The FOFC is never going to invite us back! Kristen: {sheepishly} Sorry, uh, you’re right. The winner of the Golden Scribe for Baseball is-- Eaglesfan 27! For Blazing Glory: A RTTS Dynasty!
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He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam |
01-20-2011, 02:15 PM | #25 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Sep 2004
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Announcer: And now, here to present the MMA/Wrestling Golden Scribe are NBA Hall of Famer Mateen Yeaton and his general manager, Izulde Jestor.
Mateen and Izulde walk out on stage to wild cheers and pops from the audience. Izulde: Thank you. It's such a wonderful privilege to be asked to present this award tonight. The past five years have seen the rise of wrestling and MMA dynasties to a legitimacy never before seen. We've had some great dynasties in that time and five of them have been nominated for tonight's award. Mateen: You got that right, Mr. Jestor! Our nominees tonight are, from 2007, molson's historical wrestling epic, Total Extreme Wrestling: WCCW 1983, and DeToxRox and SnDvl's co-authored multiplayer extravaganza, Multiplayer: Monday Night Wars' 97. From 2009, we have DeToxRox's second nominee, TEW 08: WCW after the Screwjob, and PilotMan's MMA saga, Warriors in the (North) East (WMMA 2). Finally, 2010 brought us Eaglefan's interactive excitement, Front Office Fighting Championship (FOFC). A drunken audience member suddenly stands up in his seat, wobbling a bit. Announcer: Oh my gosh! It's long-lost FOFC celebrity amdaily! amdaily: You know what UNLV and Indiana football have in common? They were both last good when Buccaneer was a sweet, young child. So they never were any good, cuz Bucc always was a cur, a curmu, curmud, cur... curgumdrop. amdaily flops back down to appreciative laughter from the audience. Izulde: Very funny, amdaily, but we all know UNLV was a good team and had the awesome Randall Cunningham. Indiana football is forever terrible, and Antwaan Randle El can't even sniff Cunninghm's jockstrap. Now, let's move on. The winner of the MMA/Wrestling Golden Scribe is... Mateen stares at Izulde in disbelief and suddenly coldcocks him, knocking the GM out! The audience boos and the announcer gasps. Announcer: Oh my god! I don't believe what I just saw! Mateen Yeaton just knocked out Izulde Jestor! What a turn! Mateen bends down and picks up the award envelope. Announcer: Mateen Yeaton... with the steal! Mateen: Sorry, Mr. Jestor, but you don't ever, eeeeeeeeeeeeeever trash talk the Hoosiers. Now, the winner of the MMA/Wrestling Golden Scribe is... Suddenly, two cloaked figures rush out on either side of the wings, dual clothes-lining Mateen Yeaton and sending him to the floor. The audience stares in shock. The two figures take off their hoods and... Announcer: Holy cow! It's... it's... Marcelino Augusto and Paulinho Buboltz! The crowd chants, "Holy shit! Holy shit!" Marcelino grabs the microphone. Marcelino: I'm Marcelino Augusto and this is Paulinho Buboltz. We are... THE BRAZILIAN HOOPSTARS! Barkeep49 leads a group in the back in a chant of "Au-gus-to! Au-gus-to!" Marcelino kicks Mateen Yeaton's groaning form. Marcelino: Who's number one now, bitch?! Paulinho quietly picks up the envelope, while Marcelino continues to point sneeringly at Mateen while flexing his muscles for the crowd. Paulinho: The MMA/Wrestling Golden Scribe goes to... molson, for his dynasty, Wrestling/MMA Total Extreme Wrestling: WCCW 1983!!!!
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2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) |
01-20-2011, 02:40 PM | #26 |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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Boo-ya!
Chicks dig trophies. |
01-20-2011, 02:43 PM | #27 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Jul 2001
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Congrats Molson a well deserved win and an even more enjoyable dynasty...I hope you find time to continue it.
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01-20-2011, 02:58 PM | #28 | |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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Quote:
Thanks - I've had the urge to fire it up lately, and I tried last night, but need to track down another license for the game. So if the game will work on Windows 7, I do hope to get it going again this weekend. |
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01-20-2011, 07:49 PM | #29 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Seven miles up
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There was no question that you were going to win that award molson. I still think it's the best dynasty of all time. I would like some closure with it though, get your ass moving molson.
I on the other hand, am once again a bridesmaid.
__________________
He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam |
01-20-2011, 07:54 PM | #30 |
Dark Cloud
Join Date: Apr 2001
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Congrats to EF27 and molson.
__________________
Current dynasty: OOTP25 Blitz: RTS meets Moneyball | OOTP Mod: GM Excel Competitive Balance Tax/Revenue Sharing Calc | FBCB Mods on Github |
01-20-2011, 07:55 PM | #31 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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(I don't think Mateen or Izulde will want to go too far)
SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
01-20-2011, 08:02 PM | #32 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Congrats to Eaglesfan27 and molson!
Categories for tomorrow are as follows: Other Sports - MacroGuru TCY - molson SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" Last edited by sterlingice : 01-20-2011 at 08:12 PM. |
01-20-2011, 08:09 PM | #33 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: New Jersey
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Awesome, I read the competition in the baseball category and didn't think I had a shot at winning. Congrats to all of the nominees for fun reads.
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01-20-2011, 08:15 PM | #34 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Baseball was a really close category
Wrestling/MMA was actually pretty close, too, but molson's dynasty won by a couple of votes (keeping in mind most categories had 10-15 votes) Then again, there were only 4 categories where the difference between the top 2 was more than 3 votes. A lot of posters had a lot of different favorites SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
01-20-2011, 08:17 PM | #35 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Also, thanks to whoever stickied this thread
Not sure we deserve it but we'll do our best SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
01-20-2011, 09:20 PM | #36 |
Coordinator
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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I just came back from the bathroom and realize that my seat sucks and this night is not going to be nearly as good as it could be so I grab my drink and go sit next to MBBF and Duckman. Excitement is in the air
__________________
Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL |
01-21-2011, 09:34 AM | #37 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Seven miles up
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The camera just spied Marc Vaughan, nearly blasted, going for Scarlett Johansson's boobs.
__________________
He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam |
01-21-2011, 11:04 AM | #38 |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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Producers are scrambling and trying to decide whether a heavily intoxicated Jesse Orosco, and a coked-up Alf, are creating a security risk backstage and should be removed from the premises. Dave Coulier is trying to calm them both down with his impressions of Popeye and Kermit the Frog - but that appears to just be making Orosco more dangerously agitated.
Last edited by molson : 01-21-2011 at 11:06 AM. |
01-21-2011, 11:51 AM | #39 |
Coordinator
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Utah
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{Narrator Voice}
Ladies and Gentlemen, Here to present the award for Other Sports is someone who really doesn't need an introduction...but in order for us to stroke his ego more and part of the agreement was that we inform you of this... Our presenter won the Tour de France each year from 1999 to 2005, and is the only person to win seven times, having broken the previous record of five wins, shared by Miguel Indurain, Bernard Hinault, Eddy Merckx, and Jacques Anquetil. In 1999, he was named the ABC Wide World of Sports Athlete of the Year. In 2000 he won the Prince of Asturias Award in Sports.[4] In 2002, Sports Illustrated magazine named him Sportsman of the Year. He was also named Associated Press Male Athlete of the Year for the years 2002–2005. He received ESPN's ESPY Award for Best Male Athlete in 2003, 2004, 2005, and 2006, and won the BBC Sports Personality of the Year Overseas Personality Award in 2003. Armstrong retired from racing on July 24, 2005, at the end of the 2005 Tour de France, but returned to competitive cycling in January 2009, and finished third in the 2009 Tour de France. Without further adieu, that's right I used the word adieu...Lance Armstrong! {The stage rotates and Lance is sitting on a big red couch holding a model race car all modified, while a big city model is sitting on a coffee table...there is also a display of a gigantic Garmin GPS right behind, he isn't paying any attention to where he is at and looking backstage} Lance: He didn't do it right! He was supposed to say Lance "Fu{beep} Armstrong!....I don't care about the damn censors. He agreed to say it....Fu{beep} the producers! Announce me properly or I will walk off this g{bleep} damn stage! {A stage hand runs out on stage and whispers something to Lance, Lance looks up at him, with a dumbfound expression} Lance: Are you serious? You can't be serious...who the hell had that bright idea? If Sheryl walks out on this stage I am done... {Turning towards the camera} Lance: Ladies and Gentlemen, I really don't apologize for the tirade that just happened, because I am Lance "Fu{bleep}" Armstrong. The Other Sports category was a hotly contested affair, not like my Tour De France victories where regardless of what the entire nation of France thinks, I did not do anything wrong. We had the following nominees.. 2007, The State of Jefferson: A SimCity 4 multi-sport dynasty by Dark Cloud.. 2009, The C25K Dynasty (Couch to 5K) by Dodgerchick...Dodgerchick...Hell, thats an awesome name! It goes well with Lance Armstrong...where is she? {Lance peers into the crowd looking for someone} 2009, NHL moves into Kansas City [EHM:2007] by Duff88 2009, The Straight(away) and Narrow - A Forza Motorsport 3 Dynasty by DataKing 2010, Geocaching Dynasty by MJ4H. Geocaching? What the hell is Geocaching? {Lance looks offstage} They consider that a sport? I'm Fu{bleep} done... {Lance tosses the envelope in the air and walks off stage, immediately running onto the stage is Sheryl Crow} Sheryl: Sorry about that ladies and gentlemen, Lance hasn't been the same since...well, he has never been really sane.. Well, enough of the tirade and talk about Lance...The winner is! Dodgerchick and her C25K Dynasty (Couch to 5K)...Truly an inspiration! and DataKing and The Straight(away) and Narrow - A Forza Motorsport 3 Dynasty
__________________
"forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future" Last edited by MacroGuru : 01-21-2011 at 12:42 PM. |
01-21-2011, 12:01 PM | #40 |
Pro Rookie
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Chicago
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The camera pans to DataKing as his nomination is announced, just in time to catch him in the midst of putting a pizza roll in his mouth with a dumbfounded look on his face. He turns to his date and is seen to mouth the words "I was nominated?? I only showed up for the food", then stands and cheers wildly for Dodgerchick.
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Current Games Diablo III (BattleTag: DataKing#1685) Allegiances: Chicago Bears - Detroit Red Wings - Kansas Jayhawks Awards: 2011 Golden Scribe - Other Sports Category (The Straight(away) and Narrow - A Forza Motorsport 3 Dynasty) |
01-21-2011, 12:05 PM | #41 |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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It will be a little while (tonight) before the next award is presented. Still trying to sort out this Alf/Jesse Orosco/Dave Coulier security situation, which is getting more volatile by the second.
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01-21-2011, 03:43 PM | #42 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Catonsville, MD
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congrats!
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Check out my two current weekly Magic columns! https://www.coolstuffinc.com/a/?action=search&page=1&author[]=Abe%20Sargent |
01-21-2011, 04:51 PM | #43 |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
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Announcer: Ladies and gentleman, here to present the Golden Scribe for TCY – American treasures Bob Saget, and Dave Coulier!
(Theme of “Full House” blares in the auditorium as Saget and Coulier approach the stage. Before they can reach the podium however, a producer frantically runs up to speak with both. Fortunately, house mics pick up the conversation) Producer: (whispering) Hey, look guys – I need a huge favor. Jesse Orosco and Alf are supposed to present later but…..they’ve been hitting the bottle, hitting the coke backstage, and they’ve making some people nervous, so we need to get ‘em out of here, so I was wondering if maybe you guys could present later, and we let them do their shtick now, and get them out of here? Coulier: Sure, no problem. Saget: Ya, that’s cool, anything we can do to help. Producer: Wow, thanks guys, that’s just great. You guys really are amazing, I’m a huge fan. Really. (impatient murmurs from the audience). Producer: Has it really been 15 years since Full House? I mean, wow, my Friday nights have never been the same. How’s Stephanie, how’s she doing with the meth and all that? Saget: It’s touch and go. Producer: Ya, that’s fantastic. How about D.J – how’s the god stuff and the hockey players and all that going? Coulier: Great, great. Producer: And the Olsen twins – you don’t hear much about them….not since that one killed Heath Ledger. Which one was it that killed Heath Ledger? Saget: That was Mary-Kate. (audience getting restless) Producer: Right, right Mary-Kate. Of course. Terrific. Well, anyway guys, thanks for the help, and go make yourself at home in what we call the “red room” – we got some prostitutes and Diet Pepsi back there. Coulier: Great. (The Producer escorts Saget and Coulier offstage, while a drunken Jesse Orosco and a coked up Alf approach the podium.) Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome middle reliever extraordinare Jesse Orosco, and weird alien Alf! (Audience applause) Alf: Hey! Great to be here. Hey Jesse, you’re so old you knew Burger King when he was just a prince. Ha! You’re so old, when you were born, the Dead Sea wasn’t even sick yet. Ha! You’re so old, your social security number is 1! Ha! Jesse Orosco: (angrily) Jesse Orosco….is not amused Alf: Just a couple more. You’re so old, you DJ’d the Boston tea party. Ha! You’re so old, your blood type was discontinued. Ha! (Jesse Orosco then pulls out a gun, and shoots the puppeteer behind the podium. The puppeteer slumps over unconscious and bloody on the stage, and the Alf puppet falls lifelessly on top of the podium). Jesse Orosco: (yelling at the Alf puppet) Not so chatty now, are ya!! Not so chatty now!! (Jesse Orosco tries to leave the stage area, but the producer appears again, and gives Orosco the “keep going” hand motion. Orosco continues the award presentation, stepping over the fallen puppeteer, and then taking his watch.) Jesse Orosco: The Nominees for the TCY Golden Scribe are…… Back from retirement? (MizzouRah) http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/...ad.php?t=52506 Jesse Orosco: No clips on these? No clips huh. That’s garbage. Moving on. Shooting Blanks at New Mexico State (bbgun) http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/...ad.php?t=76240 Bear Goes Home (beargrowlz) http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/...ad.php?t=55843 Northern Illinois Huskies Dynasty (reloaded) (Dolemite73) http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/...ad.php?t=76430 The Gridiron Life of John O'Farrell (Big Six) http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/...ad.php?t=76695 Jesse Orosco: And the winner is…..(tries to open envelope) Funny, this is hard to open when your hands are covered with blood. (Audience laughs). Jesse Orosco: OK, I got it…and the winner is…..Beargrowlz for Bear goes Home!!! Where is that rascal Beargrowlz, where is he? There he is! C’mon up here ‘ya little bastard! Beargowlz (yelling from the audience): Just mail it to me!! Jesse Orosco: Will do boss! Congrats! Last edited by molson : 01-21-2011 at 06:34 PM. |
01-21-2011, 08:40 PM | #44 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Other Sports: Continued
Announcer: We have a correction to make after the discovery of a vote counting error by our auditing firm of Dewey, Cheatem & Howe. In the category of Other Sports, we have another Golden Scribe to award. Another dynasty tied for the vote lead. The Golden Scribe goes to: DataKing for The Straight(away) and Narrow - A Forza Motorsport 3 Dynasty (Edit had been already made above) SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" Last edited by sterlingice : 01-21-2011 at 08:40 PM. |
01-21-2011, 08:43 PM | #45 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Congrats to
Dodgerchick, DataKing Beargrowlz Categories for tomorrow are as follows: Media - sterlingice Basketball - Dark Cloud SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
01-22-2011, 02:01 AM | #46 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: The scorched Desert
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Congrats to all the winners so far and great job by the presenters.
Glad Macro and Sterling got this together again, thanks guys. |
01-22-2011, 10:03 AM | #47 | |||||
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Golden Scribe Presentation for Media
Troy: Hi, I'm Troy McClure and you might remember me from such award shows as "Cable 8's Public Access Local Person of the Year" and "The 1997 Yodel Awards". I'm here with my co-host, resident billionaire C Montgomery Burns, to present the award in the category of "Media". This category combines both media and money in a way that's a mystery to everyone, except maybe those top notch graduates of Bovine University. Burns: *steeples fingers* "Excellent. And here are the nominees" Quote:
Burns: "D.W. Griffith. Now he was a mogul back when it meant something." Quote:
Troy: "See: money and movies. These categories do work well together." Quote:
Burns: "Video...? Game...?" Quote:
Burns: "I helped fund some of those movies at the local cinemaplex" Troy: "It will still be a while before he gets to some of the movies you might remember me from, such as Dial M for Murderousness and The Wackiest Covered Wagon in the West. Quote:
Burns: "This one is more to my liking, Mr McClure." Troy: "And the winner is... Troy: A Journey Through Cinema History by sabotai. Congratulations to you and all of the nominees. SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" Last edited by sterlingice : 01-24-2011 at 06:29 AM. |
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01-22-2011, 12:35 PM | #48 |
General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The Satellite of Love
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Thanks everyone! Happy that people enjoy the dynasty and it'll be back to full speed soon.
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01-22-2011, 06:47 PM | #49 | |
Dark Cloud
Join Date: Apr 2001
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Announcer: And now for the basketball category, introducing LeBron James, Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh!
Bron: Hello world. We are here to present the Golden Scribe for the basketball category. Bosh: Yeah, like Bron said. We are here to present the Golden Scribe for basketball. Wade: Chris, Bron said that already, man. There are some really good dynasties out there over the years in the basketball category, huh? Bosh: Yeah, my personal favorite was the one where Bron took his talents to South Beach and teamed up with his two homeboys to take over the galaxy. Bron: Uh dawg, I don't think that was a dynasty. Bosh: It wasn't? Man, this sucks. I'm out. Wade: Alright man, you ready to do this? Bron: Born ready, baby. Wade: The nominees for Golden Scribe in basketball are: Quote:
Bron: I'm about to open the envelope, but before I do, you got a pick for me? You gotta have a pick for me. Wade: I dunno, man. Radii is on his grind with two dynasties in the category. You can't knock his hustle. Bron: Funny you should mention Knocking the Hustle, here to present the basketball Golden Scribe is Nets minority owner Jay-Z!!!! Jay-Z: Thank you, Thank you. You're far too kind. You could've been anywhere in the world tonight, but you're here with us. We appreciate that. Bron: Jay, you ain't still mad I didn't sign with the Nets, right? Jay-Z: I'm a business man, not a businessman. Can I get a what? what? Wade: I think what Jay is trying to say, Bron, is that he understands. Jay-Z: I can't see 'em running down my eye, so I gotta make this song cry. Wade: Bron, I think he's saying he was broken up about it for a while, but he's over it now. Bron: Anyway, back to the awards. You know, I think I were a dynasty writer rather than a basketball player and I was worried about taking my talents someplace, I'd go wherever that dude Izulde was going. I mean, what he did with the Knicks in his dynasty? Blood is thicker than water, dog, but I'd have gone to play for those boys. Jay-Z: I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one. Feel me? Wade: I think what Jay is trying to say is that Izulde didn't have a problem cranking out that one dynasty. Bron: Alright man, the suspense is killing me. Jay, you think you can handle naming the winner of the best basketball dynasty? Or are you just going to keep singing your song lyrics? Jay-Z: Allow me to re-introduce myself, my name is HOV. The winner of the basketball dynasty category is...
Spoiler
Last edited by Young Drachma : 01-22-2011 at 06:47 PM. |
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01-22-2011, 09:51 PM | #50 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Congrats to sabotai and Izulde! Both dynasties are also up for DOY in their respective years.
The basketball category was tied for the most lopsided of any out there as it was 9-1-1-1-0 in votes. But that's so much more a testament to how great the "Knicks" (really, it's the Nuggets) dynasty was than about the weakness of the category. I mean, 4 of the 5 dynasties in there were nominated for DOY while no other category has more than 2 DOY nominees. It's just that they ran into a buzzsaw of a dynasty. Categories for tomorrow are as follows: Real Life- SnDvls Football: Other - path12 SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" Last edited by sterlingice : 01-22-2011 at 10:00 PM. |
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