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Old 12-14-2006, 12:50 PM   #201
wishbone
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Originally Posted by CU Tiger View Post
After lunch I need to drop some mexican kids off at the pool

Is this an everyday occurence? Were these just random mexicans? Is it like the day labor pickup, you just yell out "I need 9 for swimming!" and you let them fight to get into the truck?

Just curious...
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Old 12-14-2006, 04:05 PM   #202
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Just thought of something. A revelation if you will.

I've never wiped my ass with my left hand. Ever. Reason I thought of this is I tore the fingernail on my middle finger last night and today I was wiping and it hurt so much I almost had to try lefty.

Anyone an ambidextrous wiper?


About a week ago, I had a nasty cut on one of my fingers that became mildly infected and quite painful. Every time I wiped, it was very painful. I tried to wipe left handed, but it was so awkward that I just ended up enduring the pain.

The odd thing is that I am ambidexterous in some sports (I can throw fairly well left handed and I can bat from either side of the plate.)
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Old 12-15-2006, 07:46 AM   #203
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About a week ago, I had a nasty cut on one of my fingers that became mildly infected and quite painful. Every time I wiped, it was very painful. I tried to wipe left handed, but it was so awkward that I just ended up enduring the pain.

The odd thing is that I am ambidexterous in some sports (I can throw fairly well left handed and I can bat from either side of the plate.)

Same here. I'm wizard-like with the left and right handed dribbling but I powered through the pain as well.
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Old 12-15-2006, 08:37 AM   #204
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I honestly cant remember ever having to wipe lefty...

however, once, in my granpa's final weeks I had to help him wipe, while holding him up above a toilet at Mayo Clinic and it was a nightmare....However looking back on it, and us laughing (one of the last laughs we shared) I can't help, as gross as it sounds, to feel like the poo on his hands was part of the glue that bonded us together.
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Old 12-15-2006, 02:23 PM   #205
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I'm a left-handed wiper, even though I'm a righty...which seems odd now that I read this thread.
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Old 12-15-2006, 02:25 PM   #206
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I'm a left-handed wiper, even though I'm a righty...which seems odd now that I read this thread.

you are a 1 percentile. a true freak of nature.
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Old 02-20-2007, 09:15 AM   #207
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Ok, so I'm entering the handicapped stall ready to perch on top of the bowl and I spy a newspaper on the floor. My initial thought was "score!" and was about to pick it up and enjoy some literature. Then a little voice inside advised caution as I really don't know what kind of travels this newspaper has had or what kind of precipiation it has been subjected too. Sadly I didn't read the lifestyles section just begging to be read for fear of defecation residue.

What's your feeling on the newspaper leave behind? A score or avoid contact?
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Old 02-20-2007, 09:16 AM   #208
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Avoid.
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Old 02-20-2007, 09:30 AM   #209
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Old 02-20-2007, 09:35 AM   #210
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Avoid, but use my foot to reposition the front page to where I can read parts of the articles from above.
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Old 02-20-2007, 09:37 AM   #211
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Avoid, but use my foot to reposition the front page to where I can read parts of the articles from above.

Exactly.

Someone who leaves a newspaper behind, fully open, is a good man in my book.
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Old 02-20-2007, 09:56 AM   #212
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Anyone who leaves the newspaper in the handicapped stall on the floor when they can clearly drape it on the handicapped railing is a plague to society.
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Old 02-20-2007, 09:57 AM   #213
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I bring my own reading materials.
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Old 02-20-2007, 10:02 AM   #214
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Anyone who leaves the newspaper in the handicapped stall on the floor when they can clearly drape it on the handicapped railing is a plague to society.

so you are comfortable taking the paper from the rail and opening it?
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Old 02-20-2007, 10:02 AM   #215
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It could fall.

My first preference is reading material on my BlackBerry, but when that fails, I look for alternatives.
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Old 02-20-2007, 10:06 AM   #216
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My first preference is reading material on my BlackBerry, but when that fails, I look for alternatives.

Texas Hold 'Em King 2 is great for this.
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Old 02-20-2007, 10:08 AM   #217
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so you are comfortable taking the paper from the rail and opening it?
Yes, I live a simple life and try not to over think it
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Old 02-20-2007, 10:23 AM   #218
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I'd avoid.
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Old 02-20-2007, 10:55 AM   #219
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Anyone who leaves the newspaper in the handicapped stall on the floor when they can clearly drape it on the handicapped railing is a plague to society.

You're the one touching other people's fecal matter. More of a chance that you are the "plague."

Quote:
Originally Posted by KevinNU7 View Post
Yes, I live a simple life and try not to over think it

Nevertheless, I agree with your basic reasoning. But I wouldn't go as far as to hold onto a newspaper that has touched the hands of at least one person while they were dumping.
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:12 PM   #220
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Texas Hold 'Em King 2 is great for this.

Agreed. Texas Hold 'Em King 2 is excellent for passing time.
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:18 PM   #221
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I hate when a washroom's only toilet is the handicap one. They are sometimes so tall and big that I can't comfortably sit on them. There's a Wal-Mart here that has 4 or 5 urinals, and then just the one handicap toilet. All places should be required to put in a regular toilet as well.
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:32 PM   #222
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I started a new job about 6 months ago...now within the same (original) company, though at the time of the move, it was a joint venture.

I immediately noticed the magazine racks on the bathroom wall I knew I'd found a place that takes care of it's employees.
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:33 PM   #223
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I started a new job about 6 months ago...now within the same (original) company, though at the time of the move, it was a joint venture.

I immediately noticed the magazine racks on the bathroom wall I knew I'd found a place that takes care of it's employees.

ewwww
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:34 PM   #224
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It's likely my hands are going to be covered in crap regardless of what I do or don't read in the stall, so what's a little more poop from the paper going to hurt?
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:35 PM   #225
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It's likely my hands are going to be covered in crap regardless of what I do or don't read in the stall, so what's a little more poop from the paper going to hurt?

It's like sticking your whole hand in someone else's ass.
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:35 PM   #226
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I hate when a washroom's only toilet is the handicap one. They are sometimes so tall and big that I can't comfortably sit on them. There's a Wal-Mart here that has 4 or 5 urinals, and then just the one handicap toilet. All places should be required to put in a regular toilet as well.


Sort of a reverse Accessibility Act.
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:41 PM   #227
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Originally Posted by MikeVic View Post
I hate when a washroom's only toilet is the handicap one. They are sometimes so tall and big that I can't comfortably sit on them. There's a Wal-Mart here that has 4 or 5 urinals, and then just the one handicap toilet. All places should be required to put in a regular toilet as well.

what I hate the most about being stuck with the handicap toilet is that it's often a bit higher than the normal one. You know, being six feet tall and not having your the heel of your foot touch the floor when you shit just doesn't feel right...

FM
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:41 PM   #228
MikeVic
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Sort of a reverse Accessibility Act.

Yes, the toilet requirement should be an Act.
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:42 PM   #229
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what I hate the most about being stuck with the handicap toilet is that it's often a bit higher than the normal one. You know, being six feet tall and not having your the heel of your foot touch the floor when you shit just doesn't feel right...

FM

Exactly! I'm used to firmly planting myself when I use a stall. I can't do that with the handicap toilets. I'm around 5'8". I can fall in!

edit: Does someone have a picture of a guy about to fall into a toilet, trying to grasp for the railing with a scared look on his face... and with the caption "Oh Shi-"????

Last edited by MikeVic : 02-20-2007 at 01:44 PM. Reason: more text
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:51 PM   #230
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I love the places with the single restroom...mostly restaurants. You go in there, shut the door and pray you don't hear the knock if you have business to take care of.

That teaches you to be a pressure player. You hear the knock and then have to get to it. Not easy if you have a backup.

The multiple knockers are the worst. They knock and somehow can't hear you say "occupied" and keep knocking.
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Old 02-20-2007, 01:59 PM   #231
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I love the places with the single restroom...mostly restaurants. You go in there, shut the door and pray you don't hear the knock if you have business to take care of.

That teaches you to be a pressure player. You hear the knock and then have to get to it. Not easy if you have a backup.

The multiple knockers are the worst. They knock and somehow can't hear you say "occupied" and keep knocking.

Or you can have what I had a few weeks ago at walmart. Someone trying to shoulder the door open like it was locked by accident. So i finished up...went out the door to find the person. He's gone. So I lurk around the shoe section by the bathroom to see if the guy comes back to yell at him. He doesn't show after a few mins so I figure he either left or shit his pants.
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Old 02-20-2007, 02:03 PM   #232
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Or you can have what I had a few weeks ago at walmart. Someone trying to shoulder the door open like it was locked by accident. So i finished up...went out the door to find the person. He's gone. So I lurk around the shoe section by the bathroom to see if the guy comes back to yell at him. He doesn't show after a few mins so I figure he either left or shit his pants.

lol, that's pure terror

At a restaurant the other day an older lady went to the restroom, door is locked with someone in there. she knocks, can't hear the person inside, knocks again and then says to her friend "must be stuck...maybe we should get the manager to open the door."

lol
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Old 02-20-2007, 02:06 PM   #233
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ksmurf, you're like the Seinfeld of toilet observations.
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Old 02-20-2007, 02:09 PM   #234
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ksmurf, you're like the Seinfeld of toilet observations.

What's the deal with the cologne dispenser?!?
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Old 02-20-2007, 02:20 PM   #235
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I have a good one about my boss. I go into the bathroom after a late night of work to wash up. There are four stalls and four urinals. I hear my boss talking from one of stalls. At first I thought he was talking to me but after a few seconds I figured out he was on the phone.

I am finishing washing my hands and he is about hang up. He finishes the conversation with "Ok honey I'll be home for dinner soon. Love you."

So he was talking to his wife on the shitter. I wasn't able to look him in the eye for weeks without laughing.
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Old 02-20-2007, 02:47 PM   #236
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Ok, so I'm entering the handicapped stall ready to perch on top of the bowl and I spy a newspaper on the floor. My initial thought was "score!" and was about to pick it up and enjoy some literature. Then a little voice inside advised caution as I really don't know what kind of travels this newspaper has had or what kind of precipiation it has been subjected too. Sadly I didn't read the lifestyles section just begging to be read for fear of defecation residue.

What's your feeling on the newspaper leave behind? A score or avoid contact?

Avoid. You can use the bottom of your shoes to reposition the paper so that you can read it (like someone else mentioned). Extra credit if you can turn a page or two with your feet.
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Old 02-20-2007, 02:51 PM   #237
Ksyrup
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I've been watching My Left Foot so that I can master this art.
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Old 02-20-2007, 02:56 PM   #238
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Then your feet will be touching the paper which is worse, because you're not going to go to the sink and wash your feet afterwards.
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Old 02-20-2007, 07:53 PM   #239
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Then your feet will be touching the paper which is worse, because you're not going to go to the sink and wash your feet afterwards.

But the bottom of your feet touch much worse things than a paper that may or may not have crap on it...
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Old 02-20-2007, 11:30 PM   #240
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So he was talking to his wife on the shitter. I wasn't able to look him in the eye for weeks without laughing.

My wife talks to me while she's on the shitter.
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Old 02-20-2007, 11:45 PM   #241
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My wife talks to me while she's on the shitter.

See, and I have to pay to get that kind of action.
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Old 03-06-2007, 09:50 AM   #242
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Ok that was a little odd. Just took a shit and it was almost lime green.
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Old 03-06-2007, 10:14 AM   #243
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Ok that was a little odd. Just took a shit and it was almost lime green.
Too much salad? Wasabi? Mold? Moss?
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Old 03-06-2007, 10:15 AM   #244
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Spinach?
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Old 03-06-2007, 10:33 AM   #245
Toddzilla
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I loves me a poop thread
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Old 03-06-2007, 10:34 AM   #246
Ksyrup
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I loves me a poop thread

In honor of rkmsuf, please get the coloring right.
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Old 03-06-2007, 10:37 AM   #247
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This happened to me when I ate Trix for dinner every day for 2 weeks.
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Old 03-06-2007, 11:12 AM   #248
rkmsuf
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Too much salad? Wasabi? Mold? Moss?

the only thing I can think of is the gatorade but that was blue. must have reacted with the chicken and corn.

btw some corn did make it out intact. godspeed to them as they continue their journey.
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Old 03-06-2007, 11:21 AM   #249
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Note to self: Don't click on this thread during lunch hour any more.
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Old 03-06-2007, 11:29 AM   #250
tucker342
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Lol, classic thread... when I find a newspaper in the stall I consider it a great thing unless it has obviously seen better days than I avoid at all costs.
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