Great Benefits To Assassinating A Tyrant In Ancient Greece

Anthony · 03-15-2008, 08:09 AM

the following is copied and pasted from an email i sent to my friends:

this is truly comedy. i was brushing up on greek history this morning, and i came upon the topic of these 2 greek guys who assassinated a greek tyrant. the following paragraph is the aftermath (one was murdered on the spot and the other was tortured then murdered after not giving up co-conspiritors), thus making them martyrs:

Subsequent history came to identify the romantic figures of Harmodius and Aristogeiton as martyrs to the cause of Athenian freedom, possibly for political and class reasons, and they became known as "the Liberators" (eleutherioi) and "the Tyrannicides" (tyrannophonoi). According to later writers, descendants of Harmodius and Aristogeiton's families were given hereditary privileges, such as sitesis (the right to take meals at public expense in the town hall), ateleia (exemption from certain religious duties), and proedria (front-row seats in the theater).

LOL. that last privilege is fucking comedy.

(setting: 50 years after the assassination)
Greek maitre-d': "i'm sorry sir, i don't see your name on the list for this Greek play, you'll have to wait on stand-by"
descendent of Harmodius: "motherfucker - do you know who i am?? i'm the fucking son of Harmodius' grandchild!"
Greek maitre-d': "Apologies! Please right this way...we have a great front row seat that you would enjoy."

HAHAHAHAHA

Axxon · 03-15-2008, 08:15 AM

I think you accidently forgot to copy/paste the funny part.

Anthony · 03-15-2008, 08:17 AM

maybe "fart" and "pee pee" jokes are more your level.

Little Vito was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, "Now, VITO, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little Vito, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"

st.cronin · 03-15-2008, 08:20 AM

Its my understanding they were somewhat unlikely to have descendants.

Axxon · 03-15-2008, 08:26 AM

No, no fart or pee pee jokes either. Just stuff that's funny. What's funny in your story? That theatre's would be using maitre d's, a french invention specifically used in a restaurant setting, when they hadn't even encountered the French yet?

Yeah, I guess that's vaguely ...

no it's not. It's not funny.

Axxon · 03-15-2008, 08:29 AM

I remember hearing about the Tyrannicides Rex but they went extinct with the rest of the dinosaurs. Couldn't get free meals or something did them in.

Anthony · 03-15-2008, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axxon

No, no fart or pee pee jokes either. Just stuff that's funny. What's funny in your story? That theatre's would be using maitre d's, a french invention specifically used in a restaurant setting, when they hadn't even encountered the French yet?

Yeah, I guess that's vaguely ...

no it's not. It's not funny.

no, dickless, the part that of all the things to give descendents of such truly revered and honored men you give them front row seats to the theater. what, discounted coupons to the Disneyland Colleseum in Athens were all out cuz they were being given to Achilles' decendents?

nevermind. if you're gonna get all overly analytical about a joke then forget it. go watch Dave Chappelle or Chris Rock.

Axxon · 03-15-2008, 08:44 AM

You mean someone who understands the term humor. Got it.

Axxon · 03-15-2008, 08:50 AM

Oh, and just to make sure you know but the honor was showing them to be important people and they got to sit with other important people. It wasn't theaters like you go to.

It would be like getting to sit in the luxury boxes with the president at all home games.

What the fuck else was there to give them? What do we give George Washington's descendants?

DaddyTorgo · 03-15-2008, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axxon

Oh, and just to make sure you know but the honor was showing them to be important people and they got to sit with other important people. It wasn't theaters like you go to.

It would be like getting to sit in the luxury boxes with the president at all home games.

What the fuck else was there to give them? What do we give George Washington's descendants?

Axxon FTW.

.

Thread over

Chief Rum · 03-15-2008, 12:30 PM

I think you guys are extremely underrating how pivotal the theater was to Athenian life. This wasn't just something to pass the time back then. This was a cultural grand event. Front seats at the theater was no doubt one of the highest honors they could bestow.

Anthony · 03-15-2008, 03:18 PM

"And for stopping the terrorists from blowing up the White House, we will bestow upon you a lifetime free from taxes. Your children and your children's chidlren will have free access to the finest institutions of education in America. And lastly, you will be given complimentary vouchers to go see Adam Sandler's upcoming movie 'You Don't Mess With The Zohan'."

one of these things don't belong.

the point is the part about being given front row seats amidst all the other gifts of honor is fucking funny.

yeesh, tough crowd. next thing you know one of you douche's is gonna start picking apart knock knock jokes. what's next, you wanna tell a little kid the Easter Bunny ain't real?

thesloppy · 03-15-2008, 03:41 PM

DaddyTorgo · 03-15-2008, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hell Atlantic

"And for stopping the terrorists from blowing up the White House, we will bestow upon you a lifetime free from taxes. Your children and your children's chidlren will have free access to the finest institutions of education in America. And lastly, you will be given complimentary vouchers for lifetime luxury box seats at all major sporting events that occur in your state."

one of these things don't belong.

the point is the part about being given front row seats amidst all the other gifts of honor is fucking funny.

yeesh, tough crowd. next thing you know one of you douche's is gonna start picking apart knock knock jokes. what's next, you wanna tell a little kid the Easter Bunny ain't real?

fixed for you to more accurately reflect what it is

digamma · 03-15-2008, 04:55 PM

brushing up on Greek history = reading wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmodius_and_Aristogeiton

Anthony · 03-15-2008, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by digamma

brushing up on Greek history = reading wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmodius_and_Aristogeiton

going to the library is so 1980's. get with the times.

Cringer · 03-15-2008, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by digamma

brushing up on Greek history = reading wikipedia

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmodius_and_Aristogeiton

I really hope someone edits wikipedia to include HA's joke. It just isn't complete without it.

03-15-2008, 08:15 AM	#2
Axxon Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Phoenix, AZ	I think you accidently forgot to copy/paste the funny part. __________________ There are no houris, alas, in our heaven.

03-15-2008, 08:17 AM	#3
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	maybe "fart" and "pee pee" jokes are more your level. Little Vito was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now, VITO, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'ur-i-nate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Vito, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!" Last edited by Anthony : 03-15-2008 at 08:18 AM.

03-15-2008, 08:20 AM	#4
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	Its my understanding they were somewhat unlikely to have descendants. __________________ co-commish: bb-bbcf.net knives out

03-15-2008, 08:26 AM	#5
Axxon Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Phoenix, AZ	No, no fart or pee pee jokes either. Just stuff that's funny. What's funny in your story? That theatre's would be using maitre d's, a french invention specifically used in a restaurant setting, when they hadn't even encountered the French yet? Yeah, I guess that's vaguely ... no it's not. It's not funny. __________________ There are no houris, alas, in our heaven.

03-15-2008, 08:29 AM	#6
Axxon Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Phoenix, AZ	I remember hearing about the Tyrannicides Rex but they went extinct with the rest of the dinosaurs. Couldn't get free meals or something did them in. __________________ There are no houris, alas, in our heaven.

03-15-2008, 08:44 AM	#8
Axxon Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Phoenix, AZ	You mean someone who understands the term humor. Got it. __________________ There are no houris, alas, in our heaven.

03-15-2008, 08:50 AM	#9
Axxon Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Phoenix, AZ	Oh, and just to make sure you know but the honor was showing them to be important people and they got to sit with other important people. It wasn't theaters like you go to. It would be like getting to sit in the luxury boxes with the president at all home games. What the fuck else was there to give them? What do we give George Washington's descendants? __________________ There are no houris, alas, in our heaven.

03-15-2008, 12:30 PM	#11
Chief Rum Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Where Hip Hop lives	I think you guys are extremely underrating how pivotal the theater was to Athenian life. This wasn't just something to pass the time back then. This was a cultural grand event. Front seats at the theater was no doubt one of the highest honors they could bestow. __________________ . . I would rather be wrong...Than live in the shadows of your song...My mind is open wide...And now I'm ready to start...You're not sure...You open the door...And step out into the dark...Now I'm ready.

03-15-2008, 03:18 PM	#12
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	"And for stopping the terrorists from blowing up the White House, we will bestow upon you a lifetime free from taxes. Your children and your children's chidlren will have free access to the finest institutions of education in America. And lastly, you will be given complimentary vouchers to go see Adam Sandler's upcoming movie 'You Don't Mess With The Zohan'." one of these things don't belong. the point is the part about being given front row seats amidst all the other gifts of honor is fucking funny. yeesh, tough crowd. next thing you know one of you douche's is gonna start picking apart knock knock jokes. what's next, you wanna tell a little kid the Easter Bunny ain't real?

03-15-2008, 03:41 PM	#13
thesloppy Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: PDX

03-15-2008, 04:55 PM	#15
digamma Torchbearer Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: On Lake Harriet	brushing up on Greek history = reading wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmodius_and_Aristogeiton

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