OT: Fired From Wingman Duty!

DeToxRox · 02-04-2006, 12:54 AM

Alright .. let's tell a little story.

Tonight my buddy needed a wingman so he could take this girl out he likes. I figured I'd be nice, and do it since he offered to pay. This was my first inclination this other girl I'd be keeping busy was .. well yeah. So anyways, we go bowling. This girl comes in and yeah. No pix plz. Anyways. We bowl for a bit, and I get bored. She notices and says, "wanna go outside?". So I do it so my buddy gets some alone time. So far, I'm Iceman. So anyways we go outside and yeah. She ends up visting my border (.. Work safe word).

Note: C'mon .. Who passes that up?

So anyways .. We go inside and I see my buddy by himself, so I assume his lady friend is in the bathroom or something. Well I didn't realize she was still bowling. So as I tell my buddy what happened in vivid detail, this girl walks up and hears everything. Needless to say she aborted the mission.

So anyways .. my days of wingman are done.

Anyone else with such tragic/heroic tales?

Anthony · 02-04-2006, 01:08 AM

you can't feel bad. in war - there will be casualties. i don't know how that relates to this story, but your friend is a fag if he gets pissed cuz you turned a lemon into lemonade. as long as one of you guys got play then it was a successful mission.

cthomer5000 · 02-04-2006, 01:45 AM

Little did your friend know that he would be the wingman tonight.

DeToxRox · 02-04-2006, 01:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cthomer5000

Little did your friend know that he would be the wingman tonight.

Valid point. Plans change. Always have a plan B.

Desnudo · 02-04-2006, 01:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeToxRoxDVHStyle

Alright .. let's tell a little story.

Tonight my buddy needed a wingman so he could take this girl out he likes. I figured I'd be nice, and do it since he offered to pay. This was my first inclination this other girl I'd be keeping busy was .. well yeah. So anyways, we go bowling. This girl comes in and yeah. No pix plz. Anyways. We bowl for a bit, and I get bored. She notices and says, "wanna go outside?". So I do it so my buddy gets some alone time. So far, I'm Iceman. So anyways we go outside and yeah. She ends up visting my border (.. Work safe word).

Note: C'mon .. Who passes that up?

So anyways .. We go inside and I see my buddy by himself, so I assume his lady friend is in the bathroom or something. Well I didn't realize she was still bowling. So as I tell my buddy what happened in vivid detail, this girl walks up and hears everything. Needless to say she aborted the mission.

So anyways .. my days of wingman are done.

Anyone else with such tragic/heroic tales?

So what did you being a wingman have to do with getting handjob from an unattractive woman?

DeToxRox · 02-04-2006, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

So what did you being a wingman have to do with getting handjob from an unattractive woman?

Not an HJ. I don't know whats bannable anymore but obviously that cuts down on the options.

Anyways, I was there to run interference on the girl my buddy wanteds friend. This girl doesn't like doing the whole first date thing one on one so she has a friend come along. In my opinion I did a bang up job; the girl just so happens to have a dolphin-esque sonar.

Izulde · 02-04-2006, 04:03 AM

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree. If I was your buddy I wouldn't have been pissed that you got the hookup... I'd have been pissed that you were stupid enough to get it from a fugly.

ice4277 · 02-04-2006, 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree. If I was your buddy I wouldn't have been pissed that you got the hookup... I'd have been pissed that you were stupid enough to get it from a fugly.

No offense, but I don't know if you are the guy who should be dishing out relationship advice in such an authoritative manner.

Izulde · 02-04-2006, 06:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ice4277

No offense, but I don't know if you are the guy who should be dishing out relationship advice in such an authoritative manner.

Who said anything about a relationship?

tucker rocky · 02-04-2006, 06:45 AM

Sometimes the best love can "come"

from the not so good looking ones.

Izulde · 02-04-2006, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tucker rocky

Sometimes the best love can "come"

from the not so good looking ones.

There's a difference between not so good looking and straight up ugly though

tucker rocky · 02-04-2006, 06:58 AM

If shes willing to do the deed, its alright by me.

tucker rocky · 02-04-2006, 07:02 AM

quote by DeToxRoxDVHStyle

Quote:

Note: C'mon .. Who passes that up?

:thumbups:

Honolulu_Blue · 02-04-2006, 07:04 AM

Well done, DeTox. Don't worry about it. Your boy will get over it and it will be something you'll laugh and laugh about in no time.

Hell, now that I'm in the area, if I weren't already married you could be my wingman anytime...

Drake · 02-04-2006, 08:04 AM

If the team leader can't get it lined up, sometimes it's up to the wingman to take the shot. If the wingman has the shot, the leader is bound by the rules of war to step aside and let him take it.

Didn't you learn anything from Top Gun?

MrBug708 · 02-04-2006, 08:21 AM

beauty is always a lightswitch away

ShovelMonkey · 02-04-2006, 08:31 AM

Hell I'd let anybody pay a little lip service to the nether regions....looks don't count there.

Of course by my standards looks don't count for actually doing the deed as well....kind of like a moped, fun to ride but don't tell your friends.

Young Drachma · 02-04-2006, 09:04 AM

Championship thread.

pennywisesb · 02-04-2006, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShovelMonkey

Hell I'd let anybody pay a little lip service to the nether regions....looks don't count there.

Of course by my standards looks don't count for actually doing the deed as well....kind of like a moped, fun to ride but don't tell your friends.

DeToxRox · 02-04-2006, 10:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrBug708

beauty is always a lightswitch away

Most insightful post ever.

DeToxRox · 02-04-2006, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree. If I was your buddy I wouldn't have been pissed that you got the hookup... I'd have been pissed that you were stupid enough to get it from a fugly.

It was more about passing time.

I dunno, I find that more fun then bowling.

DeToxRox · 02-04-2006, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

There's a difference between not so good looking and straight up ugly though

In my defense .. if you looked at her from about 100 yards away, with your eyes squinted and it was aprox. 2 am, she looked a lot like Haley Duff.

DeToxRox · 02-04-2006, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honolulu_Blue

Well done, DeTox. Don't worry about it. Your boy will get over it and it will be something you'll laugh and laugh about in no time.

Hell, now that I'm in the area, if I weren't already married you could be my wingman anytime...

That's the 248 for you.

Ice knows.

DeToxRox · 02-04-2006, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShovelMonkey

Hell I'd let anybody pay a little lip service to the nether regions....looks don't count there.

Of course by my standards looks don't count for actually doing the deed as well....kind of like a moped, fun to ride but don't tell your friends.

Okay .. maybe the most insightful post ever.

This thread is full of a new generation of Socrates, Aristotles and other such philosophers.

sovereignstar · 02-04-2006, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree.

How about an ugly man?

Anthony · 02-04-2006, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree. If I was your buddy I wouldn't have been pissed that you got the hookup... I'd have been pissed that you were stupid enough to get it from a fugly.

why do you do this to me? seriously.

Anthony · 02-04-2006, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeToxRoxDVHStyle

In my defense .. if you looked at her from about 100 yards away, with your eyes squinted and it was aprox. 2 am, she looked a lot like Haley Duff.

i like you. word up.

Anthony · 02-04-2006, 10:47 AM

one time when i was in college i was bombed after an hour of drinking (this college bar had all the draft beer you can drink for free from 3-4pm on thursdays). so some chicks had joined up with us. one was bangably cute, the other looked like she should have been a rancher or hunting wild game. when it was time for my drunk friend to drive me home (he's now a cop, go figure) i said goodbye to everyone and in my drunk state i said "if i were to start making out with the not-cute girl no one would ever say anything to me cuz i was drunk" so i said goodbye to her and leaned down and starting going at it with her. the funny thing was that she was sitting in the middle of the booth so i was making out with this non-model leaning over someone else.

years later i deduced that if i was sober enough to know that i wouldn't be held liable for my momentary lapse of judgement then i must not have been as drunk as i thought.

Logan · 02-04-2006, 10:57 AM

Any chick you'd hook up with while wasted, is just a chick that you would hook up with while sober, but would be embarassed about.

Desmond · 02-04-2006, 11:05 AM

I wouldn't say you were fired. It's more like you were given your release.

Senator · 02-04-2006, 11:40 AM

Jester's Dead.

st.cronin · 02-04-2006, 11:51 AM

It was a serious act of uncool to describe your adventures, whether or not his target overheard or not. That, to me, is an unmanly act.

Glengoyne · 02-04-2006, 12:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

It was a serious act of uncool to describe your adventures, whether or not his target overheard or not. That, to me, is an unmanly act.

Nah. It ain't so bad a deal if you just just sum things up. "Hey She #### me in the parking lot".... That conveys all the information necessary.

It's really the details that are the problem. I don't need a blow by blow

account.

That's just Too Much Information!

DeToxRox · 02-04-2006, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

It was a serious act of uncool to describe your adventures, whether or not his target overheard or not. That, to me, is an unmanly act.

Well, it was basically "Dude she just" and then obviously finish that. Yeah probably not the best idea but I was in shock, and I'm immature and had to tell someone about this newsworthy experience, and lo and behold, there happened to be a casualty.

sovereignstar · 02-04-2006, 04:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

It was a serious act of uncool to describe your adventures, whether or not his target overheard or not. That, to me, is an unmanly act.

Are you god damn serious?

DaddyTorgo · 02-04-2006, 04:26 PM

yeah not that i have a lot of experience in this department (and by a lot read: any) but that sure seems like quite the manly thing to do (describing wtf happened). Maybe not in a blow-by-blow way, but in a "hey man...i got play" kinda way

dervack · 02-04-2006, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree. If I was your buddy I wouldn't have been pissed that you got the hookup... I'd have been pissed that you were stupid enough to get it from a fugly.

Nope ugly women should not apply to you. Girls under the age of 15, please line up for Jestor/Izulde.

DeToxRox · 02-04-2006, 04:45 PM

As far as the whole ugly debate..

I don't find myself to be Brad Pitt but I still jack off.

I mean come on. Standards?!

ice4277 · 02-04-2006, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeToxRoxDVHStyle

That's the 248 for you.

Ice knows.

Reprazent

st.cronin · 02-04-2006, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sovereignstar

Are you god damn serious?

Serious as a heart attack. What if, for example, his buddy had whiffed on his target, and had decided to move on to the girl in question. The right thing to do is allow him some dignity.

Desnudo · 02-04-2006, 06:54 PM

Bowling, ugly women, blow jobs in the parking lot. I'm missing where dignity enters the picture.

Deattribution · 02-04-2006, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Serious as a heart attack. What if, for example, his buddy had whiffed on his target, and had decided to move on to the girl in question. The right thing to do is allow him some dignity.

Then he saved his buddy some trouble by finding out she goes down like a sack of potatoes from the top of a tree house.

DeToxRox · 02-04-2006, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Bowling, ugly women, blow jobs in the parking lot. I'm missing where dignity enters the picture.

It doesn't. It really wouldn't tie the story together.

DeToxRox · 02-10-2006, 03:58 PM

Update: Girl tried adding me on facebook, I declined.

I hope it ends this chapter of my life.

sovereignstar · 02-10-2006, 04:14 PM

Alright, let's see the beast.

pennywisesb · 02-10-2006, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeToxRoxDVHStyle

Update: Girl tried adding me on facebook, I declined.

I hope it ends this chapter of my life.

Nothing like the facebook decline to send a message....

DeToxRox · 02-10-2006, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pennywisesb

Nothing like the facebook decline to send a message....

It's a firm foot down.

sovereignstar · 02-10-2006, 04:33 PM

Pardon the interruption, but a question has arised...

What was going through your mind when she asked if you wanted to go outside? What did you think she had in mind? What was her body language like when she asked?

DeToxRox · 02-10-2006, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sovereignstar

Pardon the interruption, but a question has arised...

What was going through your mind when she asked if you wanted to go outside? What did you think she had in mind? What was her body language like when she asked?

Basically I figured do you want to go somewhere else. Because she went for the car, and I had the keys to his car. I just wanted some food. I was starved though, so I might've been worried about taco bell moreso then whatever the hell she was doing.

Oh .. and the TB that night .. Fucking awesome.

sovereignstar · 02-10-2006, 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeToxRoxDVHStyle

Basically I figured do you want to go somewhere else. Because she went for the car, and I had the keys to his car. I just wanted some food. I was starved though, so I might've been worried about taco bell moreso then whatever the hell she was doing.

Oh .. and the TB that night .. Fucking awesome.

So Taco Bell first, then BJ? Or BJ, then Taco Bell?

OR BJ while Taco Bell??

02-04-2006, 04:03 AM	#7
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Get some standards, man. I never let an ugly chick near my sequoia tree. If I was your buddy I wouldn't have been pissed that you got the hookup... I'd have been pissed that you were stupid enough to get it from a fugly. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

02-04-2006, 07:04 AM	#14
Honolulu_Blue Hockey Boy Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Royal Oak, MI	Well done, DeTox. Don't worry about it. Your boy will get over it and it will be something you'll laugh and laugh about in no time. Hell, now that I'm in the area, if I weren't already married you could be my wingman anytime... __________________ *Steve Yzerman*: 1,755 points in 1,514 regular season games. 185 points in 196 postseason games. A First-Team All-Star, Conn Smythe Trophy winner, Selke Trophy winner, Masterton Trophy winner, member of the Hockey Hall of Fame, Olympic gold medallist, and a three-time Stanley Cup Champion. Longest serving captain of one team in the history of the NHL (19 seasons).

02-04-2006, 08:31 AM	#17
ShovelMonkey H.S. Freshman Team Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Central PA	Hell I'd let anybody pay a little lip service to the nether regions....looks don't count there. Of course by my standards looks don't count for actually doing the deed as well....kind of like a moped, fun to ride but don't tell your friends. __________________ It only hurts for a little while... Last edited by ShovelMonkey : 02-04-2006 at 08:32 AM.

02-04-2006, 09:04 AM	#18
Young Drachma Dark Cloud Join Date: Apr 2001	Championship thread. __________________ FBCB / FPB3 Mods

02-04-2006, 11:40 AM	#31
Senator FOFC's Elected Representative Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The stars at night; are big and bright	Jester's Dead. __________________ "i have seen chris simms play 4-5 times in the pros and he's very clearly got it. he won't make a pro bowl this year, but it'll come. if you don't like me saying that, so be it, but its true. we'll just have to wait until then" imettrentgreen "looking at only ten games, and oddly using a median only, leaves me unmoved generally" - Quiksand

02-04-2006, 01:08 AM	#2
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	you can't feel bad. in war - there will be casualties. i don't know how that relates to this story, but your friend is a fag if he gets pissed cuz you turned a lemon into lemonade. as long as one of you guys got play then it was a successful mission.

02-04-2006, 06:45 AM	#10
tucker rocky Pro Rookie Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Of no particular interest	Sometimes the best love can "come" from the not so good looking ones.

02-04-2006, 06:58 AM	#12
tucker rocky Pro Rookie Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Of no particular interest	If shes willing to do the deed, its alright by me.

02-04-2006, 08:04 AM	#15
Drake assmaster Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bloomington, IN	If the team leader can't get it lined up, sometimes it's up to the wingman to take the shot. If the wingman has the shot, the leader is bound by the rules of war to step aside and let him take it. Didn't you learn anything from Top Gun?

02-04-2006, 08:21 AM	#16
MrBug708 Head Coach Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Whittier	beauty is always a lightswitch away

02-04-2006, 10:47 AM	#28
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	one time when i was in college i was bombed after an hour of drinking (this college bar had all the draft beer you can drink for free from 3-4pm on thursdays). so some chicks had joined up with us. one was bangably cute, the other looked like she should have been a rancher or hunting wild game. when it was time for my drunk friend to drive me home (he's now a cop, go figure) i said goodbye to everyone and in my drunk state i said "if i were to start making out with the not-cute girl no one would ever say anything to me cuz i was drunk" so i said goodbye to her and leaned down and starting going at it with her. the funny thing was that she was sitting in the middle of the booth so i was making out with this non-model leaning over someone else. years later i deduced that if i was sober enough to know that i wouldn't be held liable for my momentary lapse of judgement then i must not have been as drunk as i thought.

02-04-2006, 10:57 AM	#29
Logan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: NYC	Any chick you'd hook up with while wasted, is just a chick that you would hook up with while sober, but would be embarassed about.

02-04-2006, 11:05 AM	#30
Desmond Banned Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: The Hatch	I wouldn't say you were fired. It's more like you were given your release.

02-04-2006, 11:51 AM	#32
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	It was a serious act of uncool to describe your adventures, whether or not his target overheard or not. That, to me, is an unmanly act. __________________ co-commish: bb-bbcf.net knives out

02-04-2006, 04:26 PM	#36
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	yeah not that i have a lot of experience in this department (and by a lot read: any) but that sure seems like quite the manly thing to do (describing wtf happened). Maybe not in a blow-by-blow way, but in a "hey man...i got play" kinda way

02-04-2006, 04:45 PM	#38
DeToxRox Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Michigan	As far as the whole ugly debate.. I don't find myself to be Brad Pitt but I still jack off. I mean come on. Standards?!

02-04-2006, 06:54 PM	#41
Desnudo Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here and There	Bowling, ugly women, blow jobs in the parking lot. I'm missing where dignity enters the picture.

02-10-2006, 03:58 PM	#44
DeToxRox Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Michigan	Update: Girl tried adding me on facebook, I declined. I hope it ends this chapter of my life.

02-10-2006, 04:14 PM	#45
sovereignstar Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004	Alright, let's see the beast.

02-10-2006, 04:33 PM	#48
sovereignstar Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004	Pardon the interruption, but a question has arised... What was going through your mind when she asked if you wanted to go outside? What did you think she had in mind? What was her body language like when she asked?

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)