WW CXLVI: Portal GAME OVER - Test8

[CrimsonFox]

<*BLEEPZT*>

Good Morning.


Please wake up.

[CrimsonFox]

...

[CrimsonFox]

I said... Please wake up...

*BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT*

[CrimsonFox]

***************WereWolf CXLVI: Portal***************

Thank you for waking up. It is good to see the electroshock conductors on your mattress are doing their job. And now it is time for you to...


Good Morning. Welcome to Aperture Science test Labs. Please wake up and look around you.

[CrimsonFox]

You will notice that the glass rooms each of you are encased in are fully operational and provide stimulating lemon-fresh scented air. For those allergic to lemons, styptic pen medication is also being spritzed into the air. For those that react badly to styptic medicine, a pungent anti-inflammatory will relieve the symptoms of styptic medication. To cancel out the pungent smell, we are pumping in lemon-fresh scented air.


<*BLEEPZT*>

[CrimsonFox]

Please relieve yourself before we start as I am not stopping once we begin. There is an Aperture Science Bodily Fluid Receptacle located in your Aperture Science Test Subject Chamber to your right. If you are in need of some refreshment to replace bodily fluids lost during hypersleep, there is an Aperture Science Bodily Fluid Receptable located in your Aperture Science Test Subject Chamber to your right.

>*BLEEPZ*<

[CrimsonFox]

For this first test, you should stand up and write your name on the list in front of you. An Aperture Science touchtype Keypad and terminal has been provided for you. Please do not confuse this with your Aperture Science Bodily Fluid Receptacle or it will come out of your pay. Approach the Aperture Science Touchtype Keypad and TYPE IN THE WORD "IN" below. This will indicate your willingness to be a participant in today's test. If you do not know your name, just type something in. If you do not type something in, then I will call you other things. This will signify that you are alert and ready to proceed with the next test.

<*BLEEPZT*>

[CrimsonFox]

1. Autumn - Human Tester w/ metal leg jump cushioners - Ate more bullets than anyone else. Test 5 Day
2. JAG - Human Tester w/ Nothing - Torn to pieces but at least he was listening to the sweet sounds of cake. Test 5 Night
3. Zinto - Human Tester w/ Duke Cube - Pushed into Electric Poison Water Test 3 Night
4. tyketime
5. PassaCAglia
6. The Jackal - Human Tester - Dumped on by Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cubes Test 3 Day
7. bhlloy
8. britrock88 - Human Tester w/ Orange Portal Device - Met his end Harrison Ford Style Test 7 Day
9. Barkeep49
10. hoopsguy - Human Tester - Mangled by las-- I mean claws Test 4 Night
11. Packerfanatic - Human Tester w/ Fancy Storage Cube - was a gas! oh that's was gassed, I see. - Test 8 Day
12. Ragone
13. Simbo Klice
14. Darth Vilus - Chell, the most awesomest HUMAN tester, the SEER - Sent to the flames on the SLOW RIDE...Take it EASY.... Test 4 Day
15. Julio Riddols<- Julio wearing chiffon - Human Tester w/ nothing, not even a sad little storage cube *sniff* - Died of ennui in the Accounting Dept. Happiness Test 6 Day
16. mckerney - Human Tester - Was flung to pieces - Test 7 Night
17. Raiders Army
18. GoldenEagle - Human Tester w/ a storage cube- Could not fly like an eagle even though this is the future... - Test 6 Night
19. Marc Vaughan
20. Narcizo
21. KWHIT

[CrimsonFox]

Aperture Science Tester Rules and Instructions

Rules will be listed at regular intervals here on your terminals.
1. You must wake up.
2. You must sign in to participate. If you sign in before you wake up, it does not count.
3. In case of accidental dismemberment, incineration, hypothermia, charbroiling, drowning, or spontaneous decapitation, scrub bots will be dispatched to ensure no one slips on any part of you. At this time everything about you will be completely known and revealed to the world. (Including morality, affiliation, special abilities, and the parts that no one wanted to know...)
4. You are a tester. Your job is to test. You will be told what you are testing at the beginning of each test.
5. Any relation of the Aperture Science Official Test Chamber Rules, Instructions, and Tasks to a game of Werewolf is purely coincidental. Although coincidentally those that have participated in Werewolf will see that all the basic rules of said game apply (MAYBE!). Coincidentally the Aperture Science Astrotechnolawyers will brief you of any coincidence and how any and all of those rules are really the property of Aperture Science.
6. There is one test per day. You have a deadline by which you must complete each test. This is discussed further in the next section.
7. Have some cake. It is good for you.
8. The most important thing to remember is *FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT*
9. To vote for someone, simply type their name after the word "VOTE" and put it all in boldface. Like this: VOTE MARY
10. You may unvote for someone you voted for like this: UNVOTE MARY

A complete copy of the Aperture Science Test Subject Rules is located in the next test chamber.

>*BLEEPZ*<

[CrimsonFox]

Basic Game Rules

Signing your IN on the Aperture Science Radioactive List also submits you to the binding oath of an NDA. You must not talk about your experiences in the Aperture Science Official Test Chambers outside of this thread or in PM unless given permission to do so.

Testers may not edit their posts.

Do not quote any post given to you by anyone (living or dead) in this thread. Doing so will result in a fortfeiture of pay and a revoking of your breathing privileges.

Starting Time
Game will most likely start on Monday, May 7.

Deadlines

10 PM EST/ 7PM PST - Deadline for Day Actions, voting, and cake eating. Any post with a vote marked 10:01 or later will not count.

11 PM EST / 8PM PST - Deadline for Night Actions

Write-ups and results will always be late, sometimes purposely. Deadlines however do not change unless I specifically tell you they have.


Victory Conditions

You win when you complete all the tests (and are Still Alive).

[CrimsonFox]

<---------------------- YOU!

[Julio Riddols]

What the sam hell is going on here. I'm intrigued.

[CrimsonFox]

We understand that some test subjects do not in fact know how to spell their name, so we have changed the Aperture Science Test Subject Test Instructions above to indicate that to participate in this test, you should simply type the word "IN" below in the color of your choice and click the REPLY button. Those test subjects who do not sign up will be invited to nap in their Aperture Science Test Subject Chambers where we will conveniently remove any excess oxygen needed for participating test subjects.

>*BLEEPZ*<

[Autumn]

Is this some kind of kinky sex thing?

[Autumn]

IN

[JAG]

In

[Zinto]

In!!! I love Aperture Science, Black Mesa is the worst

[tyketime]

In. I'm Glados to be playing again.

[CrimsonFox]

Please enjoy this complimentary Aperture Science Test Chamber Radio while you wait. It has now been upgraded to contain music.

>*BLEEPT*<



An off switch will be provided in the next upgrade phase...

[Passacaglia]

IN

[The Jackal]

In

[hoopsguy]

Originally Posted by CrimsonFox

<---------------------- YOU!

Lie.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by tyketime

In. I'm Glados to be playing again.

Hello, Glados, it's nice to meet you.

[Barkeep49]

Any idea when full rules will be posted? I need to judge whether I could play this one or not.

[CrimsonFox]

Originally Posted by Barkeep49

Any idea when full rules will be posted? I need to judge whether I could play this one or not.

Thank you for the interrogative nature of your question. Rules are given to testers in the Rules post at the top on a need to know basis at the beginning of each test chamber. Any further revelations will contaminate the results of the tests. Stand by for mandatory interrogative natured shock.











*Bzzzzzt*

[bhlloy]

In. This sounds wacky and CF enough to give it a whirl

[CrimsonFox]

Any wackiness that is misconstued has probably been misspelled from the similarly named appropriate test chamber, The Chamber of Whack-i-ness.

>*BLEEPZT*<

[britrock88]

IN

[Barkeep49]

Alright I'm in. I am sure I will be considered aggressive and suspicious quickly as inevitably happens whenever I play the random game, assuming I really do have the time to play.

[hoopsguy]

In to harass Barkeep when he is overly aggressive and suspicious.

[PackerFanatic]

Portal? Abso-fucking-lutely. In.

[Ragone]

I'm gonna be off that whole week crimson.. The cake is a lie though..

I'm In

[Simbo Klice]

Alright... IN. I beat Portal 1, but it took a damn long time on some of the levels. We'll see how I fare.

[hoopsguy]

Originally Posted by Simbo Klice

Alright... IN. I beat Portal 1, but it took a damn long time on some of the levels. We'll see how I fare.

Never played it, so going to be relying on Wikipedia to figure stuff out. Advantage = you (and 80% of people signed up, I'm guessing).

[Darth Vilus]

I'll play

[CrimsonFox]

Originally Posted by hoopsguy

Lie.

Originally Posted by hoopsguy

Never played it, so going to be relying on Wikipedia to figure stuff out. Advantage = you (and 80% of people signed up, I'm guessing).

These two statements do not add up. Is your lie a lie? If you have truly never played it, then go buy it on steam for 10 bucks and you'll finish it in a night. Spoiling yourself on wiki is not a good idea. (in terms of that game).

[hoopsguy]

Originally Posted by CrimsonFox

These two statements do not add up. Is your lie a lie? If you have truly never played it, then go buy it on steam for 10 bucks and you'll finish it in a night. Spoiling yourself on wiki is not a good idea. (in terms of that game).

Too late on the spoiling - already read the articles on Portal 1 and 2 to try and prep for this one.

I tell myself that I'll go back and play old games at some point, but that list seems to keep growing and the number of games I play keeps shrinking. Sucks getting old

[Julio Riddols]

Might as well give it a shot.

IN

[CrimsonFox]

The lack of Bright Aperture Science Tester Colors chosen from the Bright Aperture Science Tester Color Choices despresses me. And you know what happens when I get depressed. Tests go from happy bright pigmented tests to depressing grey deadly tests.

*>BZZZT<*

[JAG]

Originally Posted by hoopsguy

Never played it, so going to be relying on Wikipedia to figure stuff out. Advantage = you (and 80% of people signed up, I'm guessing).

Never played it either.

[Danny]

Welcome britrock! And good to see Kimbo and Ragone playing again.

[CrimsonFox]

Originally Posted by JAG

Never played it either.

I just played through it again as I have such a high intelligence and ohhhh I dislike the ending. It burns me up. That fat person spoiling all the tests. How depressing. You can tell it is not real because someone survived.

>*BLEEPZT*<

[Barkeep49]

Seriously, people who have never played Portal are missing out. It is, in my mind, just an essential part of the Video Game Cannon.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by hoopsguy

Too late on the spoiling - already read the articles on Portal 1 and 2 to try and prep for this one.

I tell myself that I'll go back and play old games at some point, but that list seems to keep growing and the number of games I play keeps shrinking. Sucks getting old

Same here, never played it, but at my rate of playing a video game once every few years, I'm not going to ever get around to it too. It won't compete with whatever holographic wonder is old hat when I play a game next.

[Autumn]

And as I predicted, Dungeon 2 gets some werewolf rolling again.

[Danny]

I'll play too, though I hope I don't get lynched for being too quiet.

[Passacaglia]

So...Portal is a game?

[hoopsguy]

I hope I don't get lynched for not being evil enough.

[PackerFanatic]

Originally Posted by Barkeep49

Seriously people who have never played Portal are missing out. It is, in my mind, just an essential prat of the Video Game Cannon.

Totally agree.

[CrimsonFox]

Originally Posted by Barkeep49

Seriously, people who have never played Portal are missing out. It is, in my mind, just an essential part of the Video Game Cannon.

Let's put it this way. Every couple years, computer game magazines write a "Best Games of all time" article. Since it came out, it's frequently number one.