Online dating

[mh2365]

I had more positive than negative experiences with on-line dating ... met my wife through (one of the positives LOL)

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by DanGarion

She saw a picture of me that I had posted which was of me dressed as a Marine that was shot in the head for Halloween. She actually messaged me on Yahoo Messenger (since you can do that through the personals) and I was in Vegas at the time. I messaged her back that I was in Vegas and I would get back to her once I got back. So when I got home I talked to her online that night and just about every night after that till she asked me if she could call me. She was very forward, which is funny because my wife isn't a forward person. She just was really interested in this guy with the Halloween picture.

So do you think the key is just to comment on a picture or a piece of information in their profile? What if you might not their "likes" in terms of physical attributes (I notice girls all want the athletic, 6'2'' guys), but they sound like they are looking for something real?

[sachmo71]

The deeper profile process of Eharmony and Chemistry.com compared to Match is supposed to make your matches more accurate bases on increased factors. This is why those sites pick your matches for you.

The conventional wisdom that I hear from users is that the photo is the most important part. Really it all comes down to honesty, though. If you want to be sure that a girl is compatible with you, then you might scan her profile to find out if you are alike on many issues. but if she is someone you find very attractive from a picture, you might be willing to take a chance if your likes and dislikes are further apart.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Groundhog

I signed up once, like 5 years ago or so, but never really used it. Sent a few e-mails back and forth, but that was it.

A girl I know married a guy she met off an online dating site however, and they seem pretty happy. *shrug*

I think it's a good resource for people who just don't meet a lot of people of the other sex through work or socialising.

my oldest friend (to the point i consider her more like a sister than a friend) met her husband on eharmony and they've now been married...2 years?

She keeps suggesting that I try it.

[DaddyTorgo]

i on the other hand had some girl answer an ad i put on yahoo personals years back when i was in college who ended up being the older sister of one of my sister's guy friends. we met for coffee...i found her...not very desireable physically, and also frankly somewhat unintelligent, so it was a no-go.

I did eharmony for a short while. My problem with eharmony was the way it forces you through a very artificial series of steps before you can freely communicate with the person, and the other person can cutoff communication at any point without giving a reason. i'd see someone that looked interesting but just not want to go through the hassle of all those stupid steps that really didn't tell you much.

frankly i think they just had them to keep you signed up for longer and keep you generating revenue for them

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Dark Cloud

I found especially long distance online (or even if it wasn't) you can get into a situation where you're spending a lot of time talking and theorizing about who each other, rather than actually experiencing it.

WINNER WINNER CHICKEN DINNER

bitch

[DaddyTorgo]

yeah

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Something that I've come to find in the whole dating thing is that I intensely dislike the process of getting to know someone. I find it to be complete B.S. I have a woman who called me last week that I have yet to call back. Met her at a bar where her drunk friend zeroed in on me, then she came in to rescue her friend from this guy who could have easily taken advantage of her. 1st girl left without saying bye & I somehow got the number of second. Called her once and talked for a few minutes. Before it got to the point where it was awkward she had to go. Now what? I have no clue what to say if I call other than "How's the drunk friend that was grinding into me, kissing my neck & told me she loves to be dominated?"

[chesapeake]

My best friend met his wife through match.com. It'll be 2 years next month. He dated 3 or 4 other women through match before meeting her, but none seemed like the right one to him. They clicked right from the start -- even if it took her the better part of a year to realize it.

[MikeVic]

With eharmony, you can "fast track" communicate... which means messages from the start I think, instead of those steps. I tried them for a couple months but after the initial influx of matches, got a bunch of crap. And whoever said it above regarding the picture being the most important... that's completely true. And I hated that I resorted to that too, since I'd rather just meet a person face-to-face to judge their personality and physical beauty like that. A picture isn't always good, and sometimes it's too good.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by MikeVic

With eharmony, you can "fast track" communicate... which means messages from the start I think, instead of those steps. I tried them for a couple months but after the initial influx of matches, got a bunch of crap. And whoever said it above regarding the picture being the most important... that's completely true. And I hated that I resorted to that too, since I'd rather just meet a person face-to-face to judge their personality and physical beauty like that. A picture isn't always good, and sometimes it's too good.

So basically, if your ugly, your screwed even more.

[jeff061]

Just shade your photo black and white and look up into the camera. Works everytime.

[RendeR]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

So basically, if your ugly, your screwed even more.

Isn't that the reality of things anywhere though? HUman beings are amazingly shallow and base far too much on first impressions and physical appearance. I highly doubt that if Telle had actually "seen" me before she felt she really cared about me we wouldn't still be together.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by RendeR

Isn't that the reality of things anywhere though? HUman beings are amazingly shallow and base far too much on first impressions and physical appearance. I highly doubt that if Telle had actually "seen" me before she felt she really cared about me we wouldn't still be together.

Oh I agree with you. Was making a bit of a joke.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by RendeR

I highly doubt that if Telle had actually "seen" me before she felt she really cared about me we wouldn't still be together.

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Oh I agree with you. Was making a bit of a joke.

I agree with you also.

[Julio Riddols]

I met 2 ex gfs online, and wouldn't trade the experiences for anything. It was more a matter of being too young and not being ready for long term relationships that stopped marriage from being a part of those. I'd recommend it for someone who is more interested in substance than just a pretty face, but pay sites are pretty hit or miss on this.

Seems easier to browse around myspace or plentyoffish.com for someone if you fall in the general age group that frequents these sites.. Older people will probably have more luck with eHarmony and the like. My experience there was limited to girls from 18-25, so I figure I probably didn't get anything but desperate girls who werent on there for any reason other than resolving their desperation. I figure the older crowd, post college, etc.. Probably has other motives for being on there (lack of time, not into the bar scene) which would probably result in better overall options.

[Telle]

Originally Posted by RendeR

Isn't that the reality of things anywhere though? HUman beings are amazingly shallow and base far too much on first impressions and physical appearance. I highly doubt that if Telle had actually "seen" me before she felt she really cared about me we wouldn't still be together.

Oh bull.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Telle

Oh bull.

bah - i was looking forward to a comedic response from you to his post, not a serious one

[finketr]

does it count if i met my wife of 3 months (holy shit, must pick up something special for her) through friends that got together online?

me -> my friend from volleyball -> his now-wife he met online -> my wife.

[hhiipp]

Originally Posted by Telle

Oh bull.

You can say this now, but his ugly ass will never believe you.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by finketr

does it count if i met my wife of 3 months (holy shit, must pick up something special for her) through friends that got together online?

me -> my friend from volleyball -> his now-wife he met online -> my wife.

i vote...that counts 50%

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by finketr

does it count if i met my wife of 3 months (holy shit, must pick up something special for her) through friends that got together online?

me -> my friend from volleyball -> his now-wife he met online -> my wife.

We need a flere diagram for that.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by DanGarion

She saw a picture of me that I had posted which was of me dressed as a Marine that was shot in the head for Halloween. She actually messaged me on Yahoo Messenger (since you can do that through the personals) and I was in Vegas at the time. I messaged her back that I was in Vegas and I would get back to her once I got back. So when I got home I talked to her online that night and just about every night after that till she asked me if she could call me. She was very forward, which is funny because my wife isn't a forward person. She just was really interested in this guy with the Halloween picture.

How long did it take for you two to actually to meet?

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

How long did it take for you two to actually to meet?

One again, she was the one persistent on that as well. If I remember correctly she messaged me online on like the 7th, we first talked on like the 10th or 11th and then met at Deidrich's Coffee on like the 20th I remember that because it's one week between each of our birthdays.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by RendeR

Isn't that the reality of things anywhere though? HUman beings are amazingly shallow and base far too much on first impressions and physical appearance. I highly doubt that if Telle had actually "seen" me before she felt she really cared about me we wouldn't still be together.

Here you go......I won't be making the cut.

Dating site for beautiful people rejects 1.8mil applicants

[SportsDino]

Haha, the world is certainly that shallow. My experience though is that 'beautiful' people can often turn out to be the ugliest you will ever meet.

In my recent experience (since I'm trying online since I've met all of two girls in reality, had them approach me, and that off pure luck that I was in a hilarious moment, and its been a desert since):

As for online dating, it seems the girls always write 'tall dark and handsome' in their profile, despite themselves being short, fat, and ugly...

As in I had a 5 foot girl tell me her height range starts at 5'10" and she prefers 6 foot or higher. I still did my polite gentlemen routine (actually thats all I got, other than raging idealist!) but she was so shallow I couldn't stand to talk with her after a while. I throw out the pictures, since I figured it would get it over with right away (since I climbed the ugly tree as a child too often), hers were not all that great, and all of the sudden she is trying hard and I'm still trying to retreat.

So I guess, take the profiles with a grain of salt, girls always write one thing and do another. For instance, all the nonsense about wanting a serious guy, you can throw that out the window, at first all they want to do is play around and that 'serious stuff' is just fluff because they are still upset about their last boyfriend being an ass.

But ya, I put up an ad, out of the 20 some responses (I took it down quick), about 15 were spam/scammers, of the other 5 I got:
- girl who seemed nice but can never get ahold of (probably done)
- shallow girl described above (certainly done)
- one who seemed like a real person but never responded back (saywha?)
- a chat buddy (PhD student not looking for love, I did put in my ad just looking for new friends because I'm tired of hanging with male computer nerds and brokers entirely)... who nonetheless keeps asking relationship themed questions amongst rants on social
- a girl I get along with and find cute and can't stop talking with.

So I'd say online is worth a shot, but its like low percentage. A LOT of work with maybe 5% or less being worth more than a couple days of interest. If you actually look hot your results may be better.

I'm half tempted to make this into a dynasty... my love life does tend to be hilariously awful.

[Izulde]

Do make a dynasty of this! The last one at least seems promising.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Izulde

Do make a dynasty of this! The last one at least seems promising.

+1
What he said......

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by SportsDino

So I guess, take the profiles with a grain of salt, girls always write one thing and do another. For instance, all the nonsense about wanting a serious guy, you can throw that out the window, at first all they want to do is play around and that 'serious stuff' is just fluff because they are still upset about their last boyfriend being an ass.

But ya, I put up an ad, out of the 20 some responses (I took it down quick), about 15 were spam/scammers, of the other 5 I got:
- girl who seemed nice but can never get ahold of (probably done)
- shallow girl described above (certainly done)
- one who seemed like a real person but never responded back (saywha?)
- a chat buddy (PhD student not looking for love, I did put in my ad just looking for new friends because I'm tired of hanging with male computer nerds and brokers entirely)... who nonetheless keeps asking relationship themed questions amongst rants on social
- a girl I get along with and find cute and can't stop talking with.

So I'd say online is worth a shot, but its like low percentage. A LOT of work with maybe 5% or less being worth more than a couple days of interest. If you actually look hot your results may be better.

I'm half tempted to make this into a dynasty... my love life does tend to be hilariously awful.

I've had similar experiences to you with online dating. I tried it for 3 months and ended up meeting 2 girls. The one was really nice, a single mom. But our schedules never worked out. The other was just batshit insane.

Your dynasty idea is quite intriguing since I've thought about doing the same, but i figure most of you don't need to read about how boring and pathetic my love life is and the fact that I am extremely picky!

[Galaxy]

What site did you use Dino?

[Lathum]

The whole process seems horrific and alien to me.

[Swaggs]

Originally Posted by Dr. Sak

I've had similar experiences to you with online dating. I tried it for 3 months and ended up meeting 2 girls. The one was really nice, a single mom. But our schedules never worked out. The other was just batshit insane.

Your dynasty idea is quite intriguing since I've thought about doing the same, but i figure most of you don't need to read about how boring and pathetic my love life is and the fact that I am extremely picky!

I don't think you understand what the word picky means.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by Lathum

The whole process seems horrific and alien to me.

And what is wrong with alien?!

[Rizon]

Met my ex-wife online and some other crazy ass GFs online. I would only recommend online dating to an enemy.

I tried it again after my divorce, out of masochism I suppose, and it was like fucking my own ass with my feet.

I met my current girlfriend (an actual human encouter) a couple weeks after canceling all my subscription to online dating sites.

[TCY Junkie]

Originally Posted by SportsDino

So I guess, take the profiles with a grain of salt, girls always write one thing and do another. For instance, all the nonsense about wanting a serious guy, you can throw that out the window, at first all they want to do is play around and that 'serious stuff' is just fluff because they are still upset about their last boyfriend being an ass.

This one girl didn't really dwell on it but said she always goes out with the biggest players. It shouldn't be surprising since her favorite player is TO. After finding that out I told her I could only be friends. Girls seem to have a mind of their own and now she's more entertaining in her emails and we're go bowling. Hopefully she knows I'm serious about hating TO and we can only be friends.

[SportsDino]

I started a dynasty in the dynasty forums, i actually think my life is beyond boring, but it may be theraputic, either to me to get it all out, or to you to read about an EVEN BIGGER LOSER THAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY BE!!!

I'm not particularly sold on online dating based on historical results, but its a way to get your foot in the door. If you work in computers, honestly, how often do you come into contact with available women? I can go days without seeing a member of the fairer sex, and those I do are all married! The bar scene I can't even fathom (maybe if I actually had some looks), and to be honest I'm not the type that just walks up to people anyway. I give people their space by habit.

I actually posted on craigslist, in the past I used a college forum personals system. Craiglist had a very high scam ratio, if it were not for two girls I would never give it a try ever again and leave it just for furniture.

I'd basically avoid any response that is too 'sexual' in nature, unless you are somehow posting naughty to begin with. Heck, even had a webcam girl pretend to be a real one which threw me for a loop.

I haven't tried eHarmony or Match.com, but I'd be willing to give it a try after too many more flameouts. I'm giving a fair shot to the current person I met online (met her face to face for about 40 minutes, so she is not a 50 year old man or 12 year old boy or cop at least). I might try the whole 'go someplace I usually don't hang out and smile a lot' routine again, although my smile tends to scare women and small children (and well shoot, I probably terrify the shit out of most men smaller than a football player if I got my serious face on).

Dating is rough if you are not handsome and too courteous, you sorta need to interject yourself into a girl's life for them to notice you. You can go the rest of your life without EVER being flirted with or hit on by ANY girl, yet alone a nice or good looking one. They only reserve that action for guys they think need chasing...

[lynchjm24]

If having sex with fat girls is up your alley you will really enjoy match.com.

[Young Drachma]

OKCupid is free and I know a few females who seem to think it's great if nothing else for just a diversion.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Rizon

Met my ex-wife online and some other crazy ass GFs online. I would only recommend online dating to an enemy.

I tried it again after my divorce, out of masochism I suppose, and it was like fucking my own ass with my feet.

I met my current girlfriend (an actual human encouter) a couple weeks after canceling all my subscription to online dating sites.

Crazy ass girls exist offline as well.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by lynchjm24

If having sex with fat girls is up your alley you will really enjoy match.com.

I've check out match.com. I find it funny how women describe themselves in terms of how old they are or what their body type is.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by SportsDino

I'm not particularly sold on online dating based on historical results, but its a way to get your foot in the door. If you work in computers, honestly, how often do you come into contact with available women? I can go days without seeing a member of the fairer sex, and those I do are all married! The bar scene I can't even fathom (maybe if I actually had some looks), and to be honest I'm not the type that just walks up to people anyway. I give people their space by habit.

It sounds to me like you need more confidence then anything else, you would be surprised how many women are more impressed with a guy who is confident in himself as opposed to how he looks. There are other ways to meet women. Church, join a co-ed sports league, take a class of some sort, etc...

[Kodos]

Have you tried stalking yet?

[Karlifornia]

LOL....my roommate is on the bigger side..and I open up her laptop to get on here..and guess what her number one viewed site is? Match.com, baby!

I've never tried the online dating, and I hope I never feel lonely and desperate enough to. For me, it's like religion. If helps you live a happy life, then great. It just ain't for me, though.

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by SportsDino

I'm not particularly sold on online dating based on historical results, but its a way to get your foot in the door. If you work in computers, honestly, how often do you come into contact with available women? I can go days without seeing a member of the fairer sex, and those I do are all married! The bar scene I can't even fathom (maybe if I actually had some looks), and to be honest I'm not the type that just walks up to people anyway. I give people their space by habit.

[snip]

Dating is rough if you are not handsome and too courteous, you sorta need to interject yourself into a girl's life for them to notice you. You can go the rest of your life without EVER being flirted with or hit on by ANY girl, yet alone a nice or good looking one. They only reserve that action for guys they think need chasing...

Pretty much, yep. I too work with computers, am courteous, not very handsome, and don't typically approach people; were I single rather than married, I'd probably have a pretty hard time meeting someone too.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I think dating online is great, so long as you never, ever, ever meet the psycho in person.

[SportsDino]

Haha, the psychos scare away people from meeting with anyone. I think they actually go around and power-date using these sites, so the likelyhood of encountering a psycho is so high because they are the most active people in the population, but of course the observed effect is that the entire population is psycho!

I tend to extensively talk to someone before meeting them (and I've met maybe 10 in my whole life, only 7 as potential dates at all, and got gf 1 and gf 2 that way). I'm a lot more careful in my questioning, I've found there are a few questions to filter out the personality type (in general) of who you are talking to, I'll have to make a section in my dynasty for it!

-----

I rarely meet someone completely new in person, it very rarely happens to be a woman though for one. I got one date through soccer, which had the unfortunate side effect of making me appear more athletic than I am. Yay coed, my only female contact for months on end, lol, usually trampling me, but I'll take it. Girl was roughing me up the entire game, which encouraged me to get into funny (and cocky perhaps???) mode, which got a few laughs and a number without me really trying.

So confidence is a tricky thing, I have never, ever, walked up to a person and said 'hey baby lets date' (or anything far smoother than that). i just sometimes get a moment where I'm clever and feeling good and 'bam' if a girl is in the vincinity I have a small probability of landing a shot! Same with my last girlfriend, doing stuff, feeling confident, smiling for no reason in particular, and manage to say a few smart things when someone says hi and I'm in like sin.

But how the hell do you bring that up on call? Heck, in every case I've had a girlfriend that was not online, I never made the first move, I'm just a luckball (or bad luck considering every girl who went after me dropped me later! )

Online dating, I already got a hook in the girl because she has read so many of my stupid thoughts that she is curious. If you are bad at physical moments you might as well play to whatever strength you do have to have half a shot.

I'd have to agree most of online dating world seems to be more desparate on the spectrum, but really what do you expect? Everyone knows 'beautiful' people get hit on regularly by the opposite sex... don't need to advertise in alternative ways when you got a big beautiful billboard around you everyday! Just need to walk outside and you attract customers.

[lynchjm24]

I did this whole thing for fun for about 2 months. I cast a wide net because I'd rather just go meet someone for a few drinks then spend a month sending boring emails back and forth to each other trying to make yourself look cool.

So I probably met 15 women in that time. I have some funny stories and while I didn't end up with any of them for any kind of long term, some of them weren't bad to hang out with.

The thing I hated most was that I live in such a small area that I'd go to work and people would tell me I had gone out with someone that their friend. I didn't like the work and personal life colliding. To me that was the downside. Going out on a few dates with some psycho isn't all the big of a deal and can actually leave you with a lot of good stories for happy hour.

The ease of sex is no joke. If you have a sudden desire to sleep with a lot of women who are moderately attractive there is no faster way then online dating, targeting girls in their late 20's and early 30's. I probably slept with 40% on the first date and probably 2/3rds by date 3.

[SportsDino]

I think sex is pretty easy to get to if that is what you are looking for.

I think my stats are:
2/7 = eventually sex after becoming a girlfriend
3/7 = implied that sex was highly possible
1/7 = we got drunk and made out, but I'm too tame
1/7 = she was only looking for sex and I backed away (I posted on this in my dynasty)

That counts only girls I physically met, obviously you need to meet before you can simulate procreation, and after that last seventh which was early on, I actually was putting out signals to avoid getting it on until after getting to know them. I think getting to sex is pretty easy if you have at least moderate charm (and match up in the looks range reasonably well).

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by lynchjm24

I did this whole thing for fun for about 2 months. I cast a wide net because I'd rather just go meet someone for a few drinks then spend a month sending boring emails back and forth to each other trying to make yourself look cool.

So I probably met 15 women in that time. I have some funny stories and while I didn't end up with any of them for any kind of long term, some of them weren't bad to hang out with.

The thing I hated most was that I live in such a small area that I'd go to work and people would tell me I had gone out with someone that their friend. I didn't like the work and personal life colliding. To me that was the downside. Going out on a few dates with some psycho isn't all the big of a deal and can actually leave you with a lot of good stories for happy hour.

The ease of sex is no joke. If you have a sudden desire to sleep with a lot of women who are moderately attractive there is no faster way then online dating, targeting girls in their late 20's and early 30's. I probably slept with 40% on the first date and probably 2/3rds by date 3.

Not bad for an old white man.

[lighthousekeeper]

Originally Posted by SportsDino

I think sex is pretty easy to get to if that is what you are looking for.

I think my stats are:
2/7 = eventually sex after becoming a girlfriend
3/7 = implied that sex was highly possible
1/7 = we got drunk and made out, but I'm too tame
1/7 = she was only looking for sex and I backed away (I posted on this in my dynasty)

That counts only girls I physically met, obviously you need to meet before you can simulate procreation, and after that last seventh which was early on, I actually was putting out signals to avoid getting it on until after getting to know them. I think getting to sex is pretty easy if you have at least moderate charm (and match up in the looks range reasonably well).

HEY! Are you trying to build a best-of-breed space sim or get laid? You can't have both, dude.