Online dating

[sabotai]

Depends on what the felony was.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Poli

It is nice to be loved, though.

I don't even remember what that is like.

I'd settle for respect. Don't know if I trust the L word.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

I don't even remember what that is like.

I'd settle for respect. Don't know if I trust the L word.

I love you.

[MacroGuru]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

I love you.

But do you respect him?

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

The worst part about lowering your standards is when the women you don't really want anyway think you are not good enough for them.

Pretty much. Which is why I've completely withdrawn from looking or trying the dating game.

Hell, I can't even remember the last time I felt an attraction that lasted more than a 5 second "Yeah I'd hit that" notation.

Actually, let me try and think. 8, almost 9 years ago was the last GF.

Then.. ah yes, that's right. Late spring of 2009 there was something that was developing with a girl online. First time I'd talked extensively to a girl on the phone in years. Then she flaked out and disappeared on me two or three days before I was leaving on a three week vacation abroad.

Didn't see or hear from her again until 6 months later. She apologized, admitted she'd done me wrong and all that. Of course, by that point I was long over it (and in fact, I was conflicted about her to begin with, so it was fine).

So that would make it... almost 3 years now.

Which reminds me part of the reason why I hated my 30th birthday. Shit, I'd completely forgotten about that til just now.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Poli...slaying women's hearts, one eharmony profile at a time.

That's going to be the new commercial.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

I love you.

Do you love him or are you "in" love with him?

[Poli]

Originally Posted by sabotai

Depends on what the felony was.

Nothing major, just a drunken discharge of a weapon.

She swears it was only a warning shot.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

But do you respect him?

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Do you love him or are you "in" love with him?

After a few dates, he'll have figured this shit out on his own.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Poli

Nothing major, just a drunken discharge of a weapon.

She swears it was only a warning shot.

What was she trying to do? Capture a ship on the high seas?

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

That's going to be the new commercial.

That would be awesome.

[Poli]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

What was she trying to do? Capture a ship on the high seas?

Maybe she thought they were playing cops and robbers.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Poli

Maybe she thought they were playing cops and robbers.

Sounds like she's got a real set of brains hidden away.

[Poli]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Sounds like she's got a real set of brains hidden away.

The real story she gave me was a guy was being a little too frisky after a night out on the town.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Poli

The real story she gave me was a guy was being a little too frisky after a night out on the town.

Well, that's red flag number two...

[Poli]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Well, that's red flag number two...

Sportsman's reward.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Poli

Sportsman's reward.

Sounds like you made out on the deal to me. Awesome wife and a brand new baby on the way, beats out that other chick by light years.

[Poli]

But she loved me. I should be willing to drop everything for her now.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Poli

But she loved me. I should be willing to drop everything for her now.

Oh I understand. I mean come on, it's only been less than a decade, sounds reasonable to me. Too bad her impeccable sense of timing keeps tripping her up.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

After a few dates, he'll have figured this shit out on his own.

Player!

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Woman Online

I am a funny, bright, SWF (single white female), bbw (Big beautiful woman - i wish they had a better short script to describe bigger girl)

Umm.. .they do have a nice, short, one-syllable word description. It rhymes with "Cat."

[TCY Junkie]

So I got tired of going out on dates, so I started acting super interested in a girl to see if they'd act super interested in me. Let me say, how someone can be interested in someone before a battle of wits in person is beyond me. I don't get girls but I get freaking poems from them. There are way too many whack jobs online, take that from someone good at reading people in person.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

I love you.

You're just saying that.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

You're just saying that.

I think he's saying that so he can get into your pants.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by TCY Junkie

So I got tired of going out on dates, so I started acting super interested in a girl to see if they'd act super interested in me. Let me say, how someone can be interested in someone before a battle of wits in person is beyond me. I don't get girls but I get freaking poems from them. There are way too many whack jobs online, take that from someone good at reading people in person.

I have been having fun with my match.com profile. I have been sending out jokes in emails to different girls, see what kind of reaction I get.

For instance, there was this one Asian girl who was rather well-endowed and she had two large dogs. So I sent her an email with the subject line "Wow, those are huge!" and in the email body said "I like big dogs".

(I also told her "yeah, bad joke, but hey I save my A material for redheads"; funny thing, she didn't email me back)

[TCY Junkie]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

I have been having fun with my match.com profile. I have been sending out jokes in emails to different girls, see what kind of reaction I get.

For instance, there was this one Asian girl who was rather well-endowed and she had two large dogs. So I sent her an email with the subject line "Wow, those are huge!" and in the email body said "I like big dogs".

(I also told her "yeah, bad joke, but hey I save my A material for redheads"; funny thing, she didn't email me back)

I had this one redhead say she was curious why I didn't like redheads, I said back I was curious if I was mistaken. Needless to say, she was extremely hot for a redhead. In person she said I never mentioned about the redhead thing about if I was attracted. I said without hesitation she didn't have anything to worry about. Like I was interested or I wasn't at all. Five days later I asked her to go camping but she was out of town and said it might not be safe for me, she might be an ax murder. I asked her out a couple weeks later, I live in Houston and she in Dallas, she said good but since you're so nice I should tell you I'm seeing someone else also. That's when I dumped her. A month later she wrote saying it wasn't like her dating more than one guy, just online is so confusing with all the options.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by TCY Junkie

I had this one redhead say she was curious why I didn't like redheads, I said back I was curious if I was mistaken. Needless to say, she was extremely hot for a redhead. In person she said I never mentioned about the redhead thing about if I was attracted. I said without hesitation she didn't have anything to worry about. Like I was interested or I wasn't at all. Five days later I asked her to go camping but she was out of town and said it might not be safe for me, she might be an ax murder. I asked her out a couple weeks later, I live in Houston and she in Dallas, she said good but since you're so nice I should tell you I'm seeing someone else also. That's when I dumped her. A month later she wrote saying it wasn't like her dating more than one guy, just online is so confusing with all the options.

lol...can I get a diagram? Oh, and send me her profile so I can practice my A material.

[TCY Junkie]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

lol...can I get a diagram? Oh, and send me her profile so I can practice my A material.

I was going to the horse track in dallas with my uncle so I bailed on him an hour or so early and met her for bowling. She looked ten times better than her pics. It was fun when she'd strike because she'd spin around and she had a killer figure. That's all nice and all but what really made me interested were her freaking eyes, they were devastating. We were playing pool and I was standing over one of the pockets she was shooting at from across the table. I was having fun bantering and forgot about pool for a second so when she bent over I got a pretty good shot, she didn't have small boobs. She motioned for me to move so I did, it was kinda funny. She deleted her profile.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

Umm.. .they do have a nice, short, one-syllable word description. It rhymes with "Cat."

I don't know why, but I hate the BBW slogan.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Asian girl who was rather well-endowed...

PM me her user name, please. I just wanna see this...

[Galaxy]

I saw this profile tonight:

**She is a 30-year-old single (never married) woman with a child (if the child that she has in her picture, she is very little).*

"I Like funny. Im funny and so should you be! I like someone who's intellagent and challenges my brain."

Text of Profile:
"Im a funny outgoing girl with always something witty to say. Im my own person and really dont care what others think of me. I won't change for anyone. I am who I am and it is what it is. I will talk to random people anywhere I go cuz I love meeting new people. I have alot of friends and have had alot of boyfriends. None that were my match. Im passionate about designing, which include art, furniture, rooms, cakes, anything with detail. I love figuring out how things work and wont stop till I connect the dots. I want someone who doesn't have a temper or gets angry over silly things. Im not a cheater!"

[Grover]

I'm not a cheater, but I am a whore!

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Grover

I'm not a cheater, but I am a whore!

Damn it, little blue monster, don't do that when I'm drinking coffee.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Grover

I'm not a cheater, but I am a whore!

She has had a lot of boyfriends. The scary part is she's nothing to look at--The blonde highlights are way overboard.

[Logan]

How have pics not made it into this thread yet?

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Logan

How have pics not made it into this thread yet?

"I am a beautiful women who wants a men who is in shape. I could stand to lose a couple pounds, but only a dog want a bone. Be smrt and have at least one job and no children. I have four beautiful children and they are my life.. If you are overweight please move on. It is just my preference to date a men that is in shape."

[Izulde]

That only a dog want a bone shit that's been making the rounds the last few months makes me :eyeroll:

[DaddyTorgo]

What does it mean?

[Grover]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

What does it mean?

I'm guessing it has something to do with "only a dog wants a skinny woman" or some crap.

[DaddyTorgo]

That's stupid.

Especially coming from someone with a "few extra pounds to lose" herself who says that she is looking for a guy that's in shape. Because we know that translates into "I'm a fatty that wants a bodybuilder."

Good luck with that.

LMAO

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Grover

I'm guessing it has something to do with "only a dog wants a skinny woman" or some crap.

Yeah the line is something like, "Real men want curves. Only dogs want bones."

Basically designed to make fatties feel better about themselves and paint all dudes who like thinner girls as unworthy assholes.

[sabotai]

Real mean do want curves, though.

That is, curves.....not 1 big curve...

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

"I am a beautiful women who wants a men who is in shape. I could stand to lose a couple pounds, but only a dog want a bone. Be smrt and have at least one job and no children. I have four beautiful children and they are my life.. If you are overweight please move on. It is just my preference to date a men that is in shape."

I would love to see her pictures!

Is she divorced or single? How old is she? What does she do for a living?

I like that she has four kids and has a few extra pounds, but the guy she wants her guy to have zero kids and be in shape.

[Grover]

I like that he has to have at least one job.

At least one, but I prefer three or four so you can support the four kids and I. And my few extra pounds.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Grover

I like that he has to have at least one job.

At least one, but I prefer three or four so you can support the four kids and I. And my few extra pounds.

She is a beautiful woman--you got to pay for that; but she did say "men".

[Matthean]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

She is a beautiful woman--you got to pay for that; but she did say "men".

I'm always amazed people don't take two seconds to double check spelling and grammar before posting an online dating profile. If I did online dating, it would be the first deal breaker.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Matthean

I'm always amazed people don't take two seconds to double check spelling and grammar before posting an online dating profile. If I did online dating, it would be the first deal breaker.

I agree, and I admit I'm not best at grammar or spelling in the world, but I'll take the time to review things first.

[Galaxy]

Do you look at profiles that don't have pictures? Does not having pictures tell you anything from experience?

[RendeR]

I've never bothered with a profile without a photo. If you're too fucking lazy to even upload a FAKE then yer not worth my reading time.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Do you look at profiles that don't have pictures? Does not having pictures tell you anything from experience?

No pic means of three things:

1. It's a fake.
2. She's not what we could call attractive.
3. Her job is one where publicly being on a dating site would cause problems. (teachers and doctors come to mind off the top of my head)