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Old 07-16-2020, 02:56 PM   #551
CU Tiger
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sterlingice View Post
Don't care about burial. If I'm gone, I'm gone and part of the life insurance should go to paying for that.
It was an eye opener for us when my wife's mom passed away 5 states away. Her then husband who she had been estranged from (unbeknownst to us) wanted nothing to do with it and her only other living child, (my wife's half sister - my wife also had a full brother who died at 27 - who coincidentally was my best friend and how I met my wife)was too strung out to process her mom died....

We literally got a call from the morgue - "what do you want us to do with this body it has to go somewhere. And where do we send the bill to."

Luckily I was never close to MIL because of how she had abused my wife so I was detached and able to process...but had my wife have been forced to make decisions there she could have made some major wrong choices. Hurting her (and thereby me) financially for ...well a while.

That was the impetus for us paying for and arranging all the burial stuff. We have considered the what if we move scenario...in which case Id just donate them through the church or set up a deal with the local funeral home to find a family in need I suppose.

But the deal with "life insurance will pay for that" it takes...a long time to clear life insurance and funeral homes can bu pushy for their money...or in extreme cases can even lien the estate making the insurance clearing even harder to achieve.

For me, if my kids love me enough to be saddened by my passing. I dont want them to have anything else to worry about but their own healing. I almost hope they arent impacted by my ending thats easier for me to think about than to think my inevitable mortality brings pain that Ive tried my damndest to avoid...
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Old 07-16-2020, 03:01 PM   #552
sterlingice
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I think we're just in a different place than you are life-wise. Our kid is 4 and my parents are still alive and of sound mind. There are responsible adults who can take care of this and it's not like we can get this ready for the next generation yet. In another decade, this will be another story.

SI
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Old 07-16-2020, 03:22 PM   #553
miami_fan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CU Tiger View Post
I'm beginning to realize how out of touch most of my professional colleagues are with their own mortality.

The more conversation I have about COVID, the more I realize how polyana and care free so many people walk around every day.

Yes COVID is real and could kill you and Yes you should take precautions as much as possible.

But you do a lot of dumb more dangerous stuff as well. Not saying that to minimize it, saying that I think part of the freak out is people who have never seriously considered the possibility that they are going to die.

Work convo this morning where I "shocked" 4 40something co-workers when they learned I had a living will and an asset will and already owned my burial plots and had pre-paid for my funeral expenses. I did all this before I was 30. I honestly thought until today that made me in the norm....now I learn that no one..not even my 68 year old co-worker/employee has burial plots despite his wife being a 2 time cancer survivor.

I think the world is crazy and their priorities are skewed...

I agree though I would put myself in the "I am not volunteering for this shit to kill me" camp.

As far as the living will, custody will etc., I can't take credit for having that sort of stuff taken care of. The military made those things a pre-deployment requirement and I have just kept updating it for every year.
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Old 07-16-2020, 03:25 PM   #554
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Originally Posted by stevew View Post
Teaching my 20yo how to drive and sheís fucking brutal. May just pay for driving school but Iím guessing there arenít many available at the moment.

I taught my youngest two how to drive (the oldest got his lessons paid for by Voc Rehab), and they both learned how to drive a stick too. I approached it the same way that I approached teaching in the plane. It's a stepping stone process and it takes a ton of patience. The youngest is still waiting for them to start doing drivers testing, but both of them have a solid grasp on what it encompasses and how to be a safe driver. Of course, they are both still teen boys, and they like to take unnecessary risks, however, the feedback from them is that they are both very pleased with my teaching. They are way better drivers than their friends, more comfortable all around, can handle complex situations that their friends avoid. It's one of the things that I am most proud of actually. Now I wish USAA would put that down and cut me a break on my insurance as a result!
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Old 07-16-2020, 03:36 PM   #555
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We got our survivorship paperwork done a few years ago. We have a bit of a special situation in that my oldest has some government benefits, and if he were to come into money that he would immediately lose his benefits, so we created a Special Needs Trust for him. The idea being that once his brothers were old enough (almost!) that they would act as trustees for him.

We're fairly well prepared. We have the life insurance, living wills, the pair of trusts (a different one for the other brothers), an umbrella policy. I know that if something happens to be that my wife will well off enough that she won't need to work and can still put the kids through school, pay off the house, etc.

Our whole family has come around on cremation. Even my mom, who I figured would not want that said it was fine with her. I explicitly said that I will never, ever have an open casket for anyone that am in charge of saying goodbye to too. It's just not a thing I ever want to be a part of. I hate remembering people as that is the last way that I see them.

CU does make me feel wholly inadequate though when with his planning. It's always nice to hear about people who really do have their shit together and are willing to at least think about the stuff that is hard and important to them.
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Old 07-16-2020, 03:45 PM   #556
miami_fan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CU Tiger View Post
It was an eye opener for us when my wife's mom passed away 5 states away. Her then husband who she had been estranged from (unbeknownst to us) wanted nothing to do with it and her only other living child, (my wife's half sister - my wife also had a full brother who died at 27 - who coincidentally was my best friend and how I met my wife)was too strung out to process her mom died....

We literally got a call from the morgue - "what do you want us to do with this body it has to go somewhere. And where do we send the bill to."

Luckily I was never close to MIL because of how she had abused my wife so I was detached and able to process...but had my wife have been forced to make decisions there she could have made some major wrong choices. Hurting her (and thereby me) financially for ...well a while.

That was the impetus for us paying for and arranging all the burial stuff. We have considered the what if we move scenario...in which case Id just donate them through the church or set up a deal with the local funeral home to find a family in need I suppose.

But the deal with "life insurance will pay for that" it takes...a long time to clear life insurance and funeral homes can bu pushy for their money...or in extreme cases can even lien the estate making the insurance clearing even harder to achieve.

For me, if my kids love me enough to be saddened by my passing. I dont want them to have anything else to worry about but their own healing. I almost hope they arent impacted by my ending thats easier for me to think about than to think my inevitable mortality brings pain that Ive tried my damndest to avoid...

I wonder how many of us have been behind the scenes of enough these end of life situations that we can tell the difference between a "good" and a "bad" situation. Despite having a living will, I had never considered what it would be like if I passed and I was estranged from my wife. That is until a family friend who was two weeks away from completing her divorce, had a stroke. Her family was lucky that, despite the acrimony that came with the pending divorce, her husband followed all of her family requests to include when she was taken off of life support. I didn't run around to find out the cost of a funeral until my cousin was in a vehicle accident and died with no life insurance. no savings and no plan of his own.
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Old 07-16-2020, 04:01 PM   #557
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When I got divorced last year, the first thing I did on the day I moved out was update all of my will/living will/beneficiary documents.

I did that before I even filed the divorce papers.
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Old 07-16-2020, 05:29 PM   #558
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So... this morning. Definitely was a morning.

My Rhumatologist/GI doctors are refusing to authorize refills of several of my major medicines because I haven't had updated blood work since early this year.

Now, I understand their side of it (some of these medicines can mess with liver functions, so they have to be sure that it's not causing more problems then it's solving). However, sending me to the local bloodwork lab (inside a medical complex), was something I wasn't supposed to do, under just about any circumstances. The medicines I take are immune-system compromising, so I've been under 99% quarantine through this whole thing.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

So, having been fed up with this, I decide that I'm going to go in absolute first thing in the morning. If I'm there right at opening, then they will just have done a full cleaning of the place, and there's very few people around.

I go to the medical center at 7 AM, which is when it's open according to google. I get stopped before going in. Apparently, COVID-19 has changed their hours to start at 8 am.

I could have gone home and come back, but A) I'd get home just in time to turn around and come back, and B) Driving and getting in and out of my car are things that are guaran-damn-teed to cause a lot of pain from my hip and back. So I decide to sit in my car for an hour. Thankfully, I brought my phone , so I had something to read while I sat and waited.

But finally at 8 AM, I get inside, and go through the pre-screening process. It looks like my plan's paid off, as I get into the blood work lab at 8:30.. then the real cruncher began.

I warn everybody before they stick me "I'm a difficult stick. My veins like to play peek-a-boo, and I can suffer panic attacks, so please be aware". The good news is, I got through it with nothing more then a few deep breaths. The bad news is they made 5 attempts to draw blood. In the crook of the elbow, in the hand. ON BOTH ARMS.

The worse news is they never got more then a small trickle of blood on any attempt. Apparently between the BP meds, the diuretic, and not drinking anything before heading into the doctor's office, my veins weren't playing hard-to-get. They were playing "We gone, sucka!" Dehydration is apparently a thing.

So, my arms have been a pin cushion and I'm getting anxious, so I say. "Do you want me to just come back tomorrow morning and drink lots of water beforehand". Both phlebotomists who had done their best to get blood from a stone (or in this case, blood from a vein) agreed.

The GOOD news is, telling my health care worker everything that had happened, and that lit a fire under her. She had been trying for weeks to get a nurse to come to me so I wouldn't have to face this, but not three hours after I had told her, the lab called me. A nurse will come by first thing tomorrow morning to draw blood.

Now, apparently is the time to be chugging water like it's going out of style.

(Oh, and it's going to be crowded tomorrow, my brother and his friend will be here at the same time doing the great clean-up/cleanout, which will include a new TV (yay!)
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Old 07-16-2020, 06:17 PM   #559
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By golly Foz, that ain't a morning, THAT is a whole stinkin' day worth.
You took productivity way too far, getting all that crammed into a few hours.

Here's to tomorrow evening things out a bit with smoother sailing.
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Old 07-16-2020, 07:48 PM   #560
stevew
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Is there any app or something I can get to train her to drive virtually. Like I can’t express how bad she is right now. We can’t even do roads cause I’m afraid of dying. Like she doesn’t understand turning, etc. I don’t really have the patience right now. A few weeks on a fake wheel would be great.
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Old 07-16-2020, 07:52 PM   #561
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Is there any app or something I can get to train her to drive virtually. Like I canít express how bad she is right now. We canít even do roads cause Iím afraid of dying. Like she doesnít understand turning, etc. I donít really have the patience right now. A few weeks on a fake wheel would be great.

Grand Theft Auto?

I used it and I turned out fine... after a few felonies.
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Old 07-16-2020, 07:54 PM   #562
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My second daughter just started learning to drive and she's OK so far. But yeah we joked about how she was driving on GTA and I'm like, "You know when you get behind a real wheel that you can't just bounce off all those cars and run red lights, right?"

Her major issue is that she has very sweaty palms and is having a hard time with smooth turns - the wheel sticks to her hands as she tries to let go of it.
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Old 07-16-2020, 08:56 PM   #563
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Originally Posted by stevew View Post
Is there any app or something I can get to train her to drive virtually. Like I canít express how bad she is right now. We canít even do roads cause Iím afraid of dying. Like she doesnít understand turning, etc. I donít really have the patience right now. A few weeks on a fake wheel would be great.

There must be a bunch of large, empty parking lots out there these days. I'd try that, Brady Bunch style with some orange cones.
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Old 07-16-2020, 09:01 PM   #564
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School parking lots and 15mph for everything first.
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Old 07-16-2020, 09:12 PM   #565
stevew
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Been doing that. I think this is ultimately going to be my wife’s job.
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Old 07-16-2020, 09:24 PM   #566
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Don't let her think she's stronger than you! You got this! GOGOGOGOGO! Don't let her beat you!
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Old 07-17-2020, 10:23 PM   #567
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My dad is going to have radiation for his cancer, so that has put everyone on edge because of the pandemic and the fear that services could be cut or delayed by it.

He's on the outside being positive.

I have a giant storage room with shelves and I'm stocking (not hoarding) essential supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, hand sanitizer, dry staples like beans and rice, canned goods, etc.

I figure the next few months are going to be really bad.

My wife and I are discussing the options for the 8 year old and school. The district was offering in service schooling or remote. She wants to stick with remote, I am fine with that. I figure within a few weeks it may be online only.

The teenager is being more resistant to the idea of being cooped up again. College is in service until November, but I think before the end of summer, it'll be online again.

Might want to grab a backup wireless server in case this one goes down or can't handle capacity.

We're also thinking of a new tv for the basement/living room to help with schooling, my son will get an ipad and if we can plug it to a bigger screen it max help with things.

The extra tv would also keep the 4 year old from being too much of a distraction.

I'm lucky to still be able to work remotely on certain days and the wife works from home completely.

I figure my parents can stop by and assist, they'll be in the circle.

I bought 12 bottles of booze (bourbon, rum, wine, tequila, etc) before there is a run on the state stores (Pennsylvania).

I'm preparing for the worst.
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Old 07-18-2020, 12:19 AM   #568
stevew
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I need to get to a state store tomorrow as well. I have a bunch of random shit but need some more vodka and tequilla
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Old 07-18-2020, 12:29 AM   #569
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Originally Posted by Qwikshot View Post
My dad is going to have radiation for his cancer, so that has put everyone on edge because of the pandemic and the fear that services could be cut or delayed by it.

He's on the outside being positive.

Best wishes to your dad and family.

Quote:
I have a giant storage room with shelves and I'm stocking (not hoarding) essential supplies, toilet paper, paper towels, hand sanitizer, dry staples like beans and rice, canned goods, etc.

We were pretty stocked on everything except for hand sanitizer and masks during the first wave. There was a period of time when we didn't get any fresh food from Krogers/Publix and the meals kinda sucked.

Regardless of next year, I want to start growing tomatoes, maybe cucumbers, herbs and bake bread more.

Quote:
I bought 12 bottles of booze (bourbon, rum, wine, tequila, etc) before there is a run on the state stores (Pennsylvania).

I'm preparing for the worst.

I know there was never a shortage of beer but good idea, need to get some more whiskey and gin.

Last edited by Edward64 : 07-18-2020 at 12:30 AM.
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Old 07-18-2020, 03:38 AM   #570
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I know there was never a shortage of beer

However there are concerns about the aluminum can supply, so some degree of stocking might be a consideration
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Old 07-20-2020, 10:18 PM   #571
Edward64
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Went to a package store tonight and got some Asahi dry beer and whiskey (to complement my gin).

Not too busy and everyone with masks. I always had to sign with a cc but not anymore. I hope this trend continues post-Covid.

I did ask the cashier how was business. He said great.
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Old 07-24-2020, 03:07 AM   #572
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So. Not Mental Health so much, but physically has been challenging the last few weeks (which admittedly is affecting my mental mood)

Over the last few weeks, I've found it more difficult/painful to do certain activities (for example had to get batteries at the local Walmart, and getting into and out of the car was difficult/painful, my body is not able to bend/adjust well)., and it looks like the rhumatoid arthritis is surging again.

Well, not surging per se, but definitely on the rise. They had someone come to my place and draw blood (I had gone in the day before but my veins were not to be found). They did tests and found that the inflammation level in my body is going steadily back upwards.

One key inflammation test is the CRP (or C-Reactive Protein) test, and the normal realm for the test is 0-10. When I'm doing ok, the level is just around the 10 area, so it can be slightly high). However, over the last six months that number has steadily risen, to 14, now to 16.5. Now, that is nowhere near the absolute high that I've had (back in 2016, when I was hospitalized a couple times for Ulcerative Colitis/infections issues, it was a jaw-dropping 39.1!), but that it with all the wonder drugs I'm on, so I'm hoping it's not a trend that continues

Another thing is what I HOPE is inflammation or at best is semi-benign is that my left arm is having issues from the elbow up. I'm having trouble with fine control (for example, when I'm pouring something or clenching my fist/hand, I have tremors in my lower arm where my arm shakes).

Now, with the other inflammation issues I'm having, this could certainly be related, or it may be something like what is called essential tremors. (which wouldn't be great as it's not cureable but can get better with practice/physical therapy). What I'm afraid of is something like Parkinsons.

Just trying to keep on keeping on, but yeah, it's weighing heavy on my mind.
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Old 07-24-2020, 09:25 AM   #573
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Sounds scary. Hoping it just resolves itself, Foz.
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Old 07-27-2020, 08:06 AM   #574
JonInMiddleGA
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Everybody here is stressed, tired, nerves are frayed, emotions are raw.

Is it just me or is this pandemic shit kinda sucking for everybody?
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Old 07-27-2020, 10:35 AM   #575
stevew
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I better not have Shingles. I don’t think it is, but the alternative is like a horrible allergic reaction or maybe I got bit by a spider or something.

Also I ordered a pool in late May with my stimulus money. It finally arrives tomorrow out of the blue. I guess I should have prepared the foundation area over the last several months, but it wasn’t even a given it was going to arrive. So great, now I’ll have a 500# box in my driveway
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Old 07-27-2020, 11:06 AM   #576
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Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA View Post
Everybody here is stressed, tired, nerves are frayed, emotions are raw.

Is it just me or is this pandemic shit kinda sucking for everybody?

I'm feeling okay. I see good progress on vaccines (and assume therapeutics) and although we are headed for a second wave, I can see light at the end of the tunnel (circa 1Q 2021).

Anything in particular you are stressed about?
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Old 07-27-2020, 12:43 PM   #577
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Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA View Post
Everybody here is stressed, tired, nerves are frayed, emotions are raw.

Is it just me or is this pandemic shit kinda sucking for everybody?

I think I have reduced my expectations for how things are supposed to be to such a basic level that things end up being not too bad. For example, on Saturday. I noticed that Spaceballs had been added to Netflix. That and not consuming a second of news on TV made Saturday a pretty good day.
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Old 07-27-2020, 12:45 PM   #578
JonInMiddleGA
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I'm feeling okay. I see good progress on vaccines (and assume therapeutics) and although we are headed for a second wave, I can see light at the end of the tunnel (circa 1Q 2021).

Anything in particular you are stressed about?

Lemme see here ... we leave shortly for wife's follow up with the cancer doc to discuss future treatment.

The kid leaves about an hour later to head to Mississippi to clear out his stuff there, with the movers picking up it late Thursday (we were still packing stuff to go from here into that load around 230 this morning).

Tomorrow my wife takes another car & load for the same.

On Wednesday I make the same hellish drive with the larger vehicle and larger pieces. And I was really hoping to NEVER endure that trip again frankly.

And once that's all done by Friday, it's back here before they head off for his move to Miami.

I'll skip over the stuff like my wife's bank card being AWOL (likely in the house somewhere) which follows her losing her drivers license three times in the past six weeks.

All in a backdrop of high, and ragged,emotions.

And all that amidst covid craziness AND the fact I'm dealing with yesterday on 3 hours sleep and today with only 4 more hours, so 7 in the past 48.

Dunno 'bout anybody else, but that feels like a full load.
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Old 07-27-2020, 12:47 PM   #579
thesloppy
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losing her drivers license three times in the past six weeks.

That is impressive!
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Old 07-27-2020, 12:49 PM   #580
molson
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Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA View Post
Everybody here is stressed, tired, nerves are frayed, emotions are raw.

Is it just me or is this pandemic shit kinda sucking for everybody?

I'm usually pretty good at taking a step towards focusing on the positive, and making a plan to move forward in the short-term and do positive things.

That is getting harder and harder, and I'm not dealing with half the shit you are. I take a refresh, feel good for a bit, and feel the anxiety kind of closing in again in a shorter amount of time than it used to.

But, it will still be my focus to take just a second, assess what's going well, and make a plan to, in the next day, or even the next few hours, work towards positive things that I can control. Rinse and repeat. I always have a mental health to-do list I'm working on at all times. Mostly just little things that will improve my mood, make me feel productive, accomplish some tasks that will reduce my stress to complete, etc.

Edit: Stress makes me forget things too. We now have work-laptops for telecommuting. I'm in the office but usually bring my laptop home in case I get sick overnight, and because I work at home a lot at night. One day last week, I drove all the way to work, forgot my laptop. Drove home, got it, parked in the lot, got up 4 floors to my office, and - I left to the laptop in my car and had to go out and get it.

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Old 07-27-2020, 12:56 PM   #581
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That is impressive!

It's been a befuddling side note to everything else.

The first time it went missing I found it hiding between the drivers side door and the seat in the car.

The second time it vanished, the kid had it. She'd sent him on a banking errand with it, he forgot he had it and so did she. I found it in his wallet.

The third time was a dilly. It was just gone gone, she'd already filed for a replacement to be issued. Two days later she got a call ... she'd left it at a car dealer's place while car shopping with/for the kid.

So it gets mailed back (the dealer is a good 90 minutes away) and arrives last week ... only for it to now be missing AGAIN.

So, really, this is the FOURTH time its been missing.
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Old 07-27-2020, 01:00 PM   #582
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Ugh. Sorry Jon. That sounds like a tremendous suckfest.
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Old 07-27-2020, 08:39 PM   #583
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Everybody here is stressed, tired, nerves are frayed, emotions are raw.

Is it just me or is this pandemic shit kinda sucking for everybody?

One of the things I've been saying about this pandemic from the start is that it just takes so much energy to just pretend to do things as normal. That's mental energy that we used for other stuff and have to use now just to function

And that's without grading of the curve of "shit you've had to deal with" the past few months.

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Old 07-27-2020, 08:42 PM   #584
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Ugh. Sorry Jon. That sounds like a tremendous suckfest.

Yeah, and I thought my day was bad because I burned a cheese quesadilla.
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Old 07-28-2020, 02:47 PM   #585
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Totally have shingles. It doesn’t seem serious but I wish I would have gotten vaccinated.
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Old 07-28-2020, 02:53 PM   #586
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Totally have shingles. It doesnít seem serious but I wish I would have gotten vaccinated.

Ehhhhh fuck

My father-in-law dealt with that shit, so I know something about the unpleasantness
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Old 07-28-2020, 02:55 PM   #587
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Feels like I took a bunch of body blows. Then a cute nurse told me my prescription for Valtrex would be ready soon.
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Old 07-28-2020, 04:18 PM   #588
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Feels like I took a bunch of body blows. Then a cute nurse told me my prescription for Valtrex would be ready soon.
Had it 17 years ago. Miserable. They kept telling me that I will have it again, but haven't as of yet. I need to get the vaccine.
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Old 07-28-2020, 04:30 PM   #589
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What's the age they recommend you get that vaccine?
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Old 07-28-2020, 05:23 PM   #590
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Tomorrow
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Old 07-28-2020, 06:09 PM   #591
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Had shingles twice in the past 6 years. First time was awful, next time was uncomfortable. Both times it came in periods of high stress.
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Old 07-28-2020, 06:51 PM   #592
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One of the things I've been saying about this pandemic from the start is that it just takes so much energy to just pretend to do things as normal. That's mental energy that we used for other stuff and have to use now just to function

And that's without grading of the curve of "shit you've had to deal with" the past few months.

SI

So true. We leave for our annual 2 week trip to Nantucket and I am half as excited as usual. Just getting myself up for shopping, making sure we have medications, laundry, cash, prepping the kid across the street to take care of the cats, etc...has been mentally exhausting. I'm not even really excited about the trip, because again, we are going to have to pretend everything is alright while waiting 6 feet apart and eating ice cream with masks around our chins.

And like Molson said, not even half of what others are dealing with.
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Old 07-31-2020, 12:11 AM   #593
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Management came out today and said that with reservations dropping off once again due to Covid, that the company is once again looking at furlough numbers that would put me in jeopardy. I think that the rest of this calendar year is probably safe, and that it's a very difficult thing to predict, but being stuck somewhere in between is both shitty and better than so many others are. They predict that we won't even break 50% of 2019 numbers until sometime in 2022. With that furlough numbers could go even higher. It's hard to really come to a decision on what all that means. Nothing he said was wrong, but none of it was any different than we already knew either. It was just said out loud. I happen to be toward the safe side of the danger zone, and a lot can change for sure, but all it does is reinforce how fucking bad this year is. It's an incredible situation that has been just awful for this industry.
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Old 08-03-2020, 05:30 PM   #594
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Could probably put this just as much in the "kids leaving home" thread but ... we're now {checks clock} about 40 hours from the departure time of the kid to Miami.

As usual, I'm struck by the fact that I literally don't know when I'll have my next face to face conversation -- even two sentences -- with someone about my primary topics of enjoyment (music, gaming, wrestling). It may very well be late November.

I'm used to that, I just don't know that it isn't a little bigger blow than usual due to the fucked up state of the world. Makes any kind of "normalcy" that much harder to feel, even for a couple minutes, if that makes sense.
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Old 08-03-2020, 09:08 PM   #595
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I can’t tell you the anxiety I have about my school opening in a few weeks. I feel like my entire district just passed the buck.


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Old 08-04-2020, 08:20 AM   #596
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I can’t tell you the anxiety I have about my school opening in a few weeks. I feel like my entire district just passed the buck.


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The school thing is such a mind fuck. One one hand I 100% am on board with my kids being in school for their mental well being as well as educational value. I'm not a teacher, nor am I equipped with the skills or patience to home school. On the flip side when I think of sending them in I get a knot in my stomach thinking about them wearing a mask all day, etc...and god forbid they get sick or bring home something to us or a grandparent.

There is a group text for my daughters girl scout troop talking about doing a pod with them all and the siblings, and parents teaching different subjects. That sounds equally insane as I can't stand teaching my own kids let alone someone elses. Seems like a cluster waiting to happen.

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Old 08-04-2020, 10:07 AM   #597
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I'm a bit pissed at my brother & sister-in-law. They live in NJ, which is seeing a rebound in cases. They've been staying at home, trying to be safe, all the while having to go into work. So they decided this past weekend to have a birthday party for their 5 year old son, who is spoiled rotten - so I'm sure they were like we can't NOT have a big birthday party for him, even though we're in a pandemic. From the pictures on Facebook it seems they invited something like 10 other families, and while it was outside in the backyard, no one was distancing and no one was wearing a mask.

So I texted my parents (my dad just turned 75 and my mom is 65 and recently had a heart attack) and said, you need to stay away from my brother for 10-14 days. They said, oh we were at the party. My parents didn't want them to have a party but once they did "there was nothing we could do". And to boot, my sister-in-law's parents came down from Long Island for the weekend for the party.

I always thought they spoiled their kid rotten, but this is insane. I still don't understand why my parents didn't just say we can't, we're at really high risk. But the grandkid controls... argh!
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Old 08-04-2020, 10:09 AM   #598
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Some people have really misplaced priorities. The kid won't even remember this birthday 5 years from now.
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Old 08-04-2020, 10:10 AM   #599
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Once again, a giant societal failing of the Stanford Marshmallow Test

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Old 08-04-2020, 10:16 AM   #600
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You know who also had their 5th birthday yesterday? My kid.

My parents had thrown out the idea of going up to their house (they live on the other side of Houston, about an hour away) and doing stuff outside. We had lukewarmly thrown out the same. But we never really came up with a plan that worked on a 95 degree day with limited access to restrooms. We saw them a couple of weeks ago, socially distanced, on the beach so everyone's still pretty happy with that. And we'll probably do it again in another couple of weeks. So, instead, we were on a video chat with Facebook messenger with them a couple of different times yesterday - while we were working on the cake, doing candles/cake, and presents. We talked to a couple of sets of neighbors from across the street and one brought us handwritten cards from their kids but we were always a few feet away, just to be safe.

This sucks. It really does. But, the situation just is a bad situation and we're trying to make the most of it while limiting our risk. The sort of stuff you describe above is why I can't, in good conscience, put our kid in Kindergarten in a couple of weeks. One, they're kids, and, two, I know there are tons of people who aren't taking this seriously and I don't want to pay for their callousness. I really want him there, not for the academics (honestly, at his age, we might do a better job as he'll get more one-on-one time with us) but for the social situation and just to give us a break. But it's just not going to happen.

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