The Alternative Rugby League

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Welcome all to a new rugby league dynasty - not at all unlike the Cattledogs saga which has been running on and off in these forums for over a year now.

Except this one is entirely ficticious. It is, indeed, an alternative rugby league, played with ficticious teams, made-up players, in a completely alternative universe. Players, teams, coaches all have been modelled on certain individuals but you will do well to decipher who is what from real life.

Where this will go, how long it will last, whether it will be any good or not...who will know? Any feedback (good, bad, indifferent or otherwise) is most welcome.

Firstly, some background information for those who may not be aware of the existence of the sport of rugby league (it's not rugby union, for starters!)

Some basic information
A glossary of terminology used in the game (and in this dynasty)
A basic "how-to" guide
The homepage of the Australian National Rugby League (NRL)

And now some vision, so that you may get at least an inkling of what the sport of rugby league is like, plucked at random from YouTube:

Video One
Video Two
Video Three

I may include more information and vision later in the piece, but that should be enough for now. Besides, I'm sure you are all intelligent enough to conduct your own web-searches, should that be what you want to do!

All games in this story will be simulated using a custom-designed excel spreadsheet. Twelve seasons have already been simulated, but we will "pick up the story", as they say, in the lucky thirteenth season of the ARL. I'll spend a bit of time setting up the story and fleshing out the history and back-story of clubs and players before play begins in earnest.

If there is anything you'll like to see, let me know. This is certainly a work in progress.

I hope you enjoy!

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The Alternative Rugby League was formed in a candelstine meeting at the McCartney Hotel in downtown Calhournbar in November 1982. Eight men representing eight different centres throughout the Independent State of Arcardia 1 decided to formalise a national competition which would establish once and for all a burning question - who was the greatest rugby league team on the island?

The eight men in the room agreed to each contribute $1,000,000 over the next ten years each towards the establishment of a professional rugby league competition in Arcardia. With the recent boom in the price of gold, money was no object to any of these men. They only cared about one thing - putting their footprint on the landscape of Arcardian Rugby League.

John R. Stephenson was elected the inaugural ARL chairman, and promptly set down the following conditions for entry in the 1983 ARL Premiership:

• Each team must have at least 20 players registered by March 1 1983
• Each team would play a set fixture list against the other eight teams - one game at home, and one game away.
• To round out the fixtures, clubs would be allowed to nominate two opponents that they wanted to play a third time, producing a season of sixteen games. ("A nice round number," Stephenson decreed. "It's four times four, after all")
• The top four teams would qualify for the playoffs, with the top ranked team playing the second, and third playing fourth. The loser of first against second would have a second game, against the winner of third and fourth. The winners would meet in a championship game.
• In honour of the hotel that hosted the inaugural meeting, the champions would receive the "McCartney Cup", and the accolades that come with winning a national competition.

The news was met with immediate acclaim from the rugby league-mad inhabitants of the country, and sparked off immediate interest in the new competition. The country's only television station pledged to show "every game, everywhere, wherever possible". Even the Prime Minister was encouraged by the weight of public opinion to make a brief statement pledging her support for the new concept.

The eight men (we shall meet them shortly) went back to their home cities and duly made preparations for the inaugural season of the McCartney Cup.


1 Located "somewhere" in the South Pacific Ocean, Arcardia was established as a convict settlement in 1879 when Australia refused any more convicts from England. With a population of "more or less" a million, Arcardia is a cosmopolitan mix of English, French and Polynesian, with each group occupying roughly a third of the population base. After an "unfortunate" fracas between the French and the English, transportation was cancelled in 1880. Independence came in 1947, when Britain suddenly remembered they had a pesky colony in the Antipodes that they no longer had any need for. That was before they discovered the largest reserves of gold remaining in the world. Briefly invaded by the USA in 1973 under suspicion of harbouring communists, the invasion lasted twenty minutes and ended with profuse apologies after it was established there were none to be found. Okay, this is a bit of an unlikely bullshit circumstance, but so is the pretence for this whole franchise! So buckle up and keep reading!

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The first team admitted into the ARL was the creatively-named Calhournbar Crushers.

Based in the capital city and largest population centre of Arcardia, Calhournbar was a natural hotbed of rugby league action, and possessed a relatively new stadium called the National Stadium.

The first chairman of the Crushers, Peter Nicholson, was a former high school rugby athletic champion - his name is still on the honour roll of the Calhournbar Technical College as the discus and high jump champion in 1957. He also had the distinction of representing Arcardia at their first Commonwealth Games in 1958, although he literally missed the boat to Rome in 1960, sleeping in and missing the Calhournbar-to-Auckland cruise ship en route to the Olympics.

Calhournbar have enjoyed a solid history in the ARL, winning the McCartney Cup in 1984, 1990 and the most recent competition in 1994. However, most fans still rue the fact that they lost three consecuitive McCartney Cup games between 1986 and 1988, as well as the "lost opportunity of 1991", where the Crushers went 15-1 but lost the Cup game.

The Crushers have been coached since 1984 by Kevin Jackson, who has a 126-1-49 record in the regular season. With seven McCartney Cup apperances, he is by far the most experienced in this category. His 11-12 record in the finals is not nearly as impressive. He is renowned for having some of the most talented players in the ARL's history play with the Crushers, but three championships is not much reward for all the potential that the Crushers promise each season.

The only other person to coach the Crushers was Jim Ryan, who resigned after failing to make the McCartney Cup game in his first (and only) season in charge.

Season by Season:
1983 - 10-6 (3rd) - finished third in playoffs
1984 - 13-3 (1st) - McCartney Cup II Champions
1985 - 8-8 (5th)
1986 - 12-4 (1st) - lost McCartney Cup IV
1987 - 11-5 (1st) - lost McCartney Cup V
1988 - 9-7 (4th) - lost McCartney Cup VI
1989 - 10-6 (2nd) - finished third in playoffs
1990 - 12-4 (1st) - McCartney Cup VIII Champions
1991 - 15-1 (1st) - lost McCartney Cup IX
1992 - 12-4 (2nd) - finished third in playoffs
1993 - 12-4 (2nd) - finished third in playoffs
1994 - 12-1-3 (2nd) - McCartney Cup XII Champions

Coaches:
Jim Ryan (1983)
Kevin Jackson (1984-current)

Home Ground:
National Stadium (25,000 capacity)

Playing Strip:

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The second club registered with the ARL was the rural region of Colart, located on the southern side of the main island of Arcardia. The team was named as such after the many wild horses which populate the wide plains of the region.

As the centre of the main French-speaking region of Arcardia, Colart has a strong continental flavour to their culture and history, with the team being owned by members of the Bonaparte family since it's interception. As far as the family records can prove, they are no relation to the former emperor of France, although some supporters refer to the Colts as the "Napoleons" on occasion.

The Colts have had three coaches throughout their history, each experiencing their share of success. George Young guided the Colts to the first McCartney Cup in history, before retiring after the second season. Marc Bonaparte was appointed coach by the family management structure but could only manage a second in his two seasons in charge.

Colart's fortunes were then turned over to the cantankerous Tommy Tanks, who endeared and alientated equal sections of the Arcardian footballing public, and once earned a two game suspension for punching a rival coach at a press conference. He won two McCartney Cups (including the epic McCartney Cup VI game, decided in triple-over-time) before taking enforced retirement.

Bonaparte returned for a cameo season as coach and surprisingly inspired the Colts to their best ever season - 14-2 - and another McCartney Cup, before surprisingly retiring. The team was then turned back over to George Young, roused from retirement. He continued the winning tradition, making it three McCartney Cups under three different coaches, before retiring at the end of the 1994 season. As we go to press, Colart do not have a coach and are expected to make a statement shortly.

Season-by-season
1983 - 10-1-5 (1st) - McCartney Cup I Champions
1984 - 7-9 (6th)
1985 - 11-5 (2nd) - lost McCartney Cup III
1986 - 10-6 (3rd) - finished third in playoffs
1987 - 11-5 (2nd) - finished third in playoffs
1988 - 12-4 (1st) - McCartney Cup VI Champions (triple extra time)
1989 - 10-6 (3rd) - finished fourth in playoffs
1990 - 10-6 (4th) - finished third in playoffs
1991 - 11-5 (2nd) - McCartney Cup IX Champions
1992 - 14-2 (1st) - McCartney Cup X Champions
1993 - 14-2 (1st) - McCartney Cup XI Champions
1994 - 13-3 (1st) - lost McCartney Cup XII

Coaches
George Young (1983-1984)
Marc Bonaparte (1985-1986)
Tommy Tanks (1987-1991)
Marc Bonaparte (1992)
George Young (1993-1994)
Position currently vacant

Home Ground
Le Parc De Rugby a XIII, Colart (15,000 capacity)

Playing Strip

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Located 200km north of Calhournbar at the end of the Presidente Marcel Highway is the town of Elderslie (population 50,000), one of the more fanatical rugby league centres in the country. It is also the only community-owned team in the ARL, with over 2000 individual shareholders contributing a set fee each year to fund their football side.

Despite the off-field stability, the Devils have been one of the most unstable sides on the grass, with eight head coaches holding the clipboard over the course of their first twelve seasons. It's not surprising then that the Devils are in possession of only one McCartney Cup, won in 1985.

Their supporters don't mind though - they know that next season will be "their season". The problem is, they've been saying that almost every year.

The longest serving coach in the Devils' history is Stan Goodman, who lasted between 1990 and 1994, before voluntarily resigning after a 0-10 start to the season. The fact that his house had been destroyed by rabid Devils fans may have had something to do with it.

Season-by-season
1983 - 8-8 (6th)
1984 - 7-9 (5th)
1985 - 13-3 (1st) - McCartney Cup III Champions
1986 - 6-10 (5th)
1987 - 9-7 (4th) - Finished fourth in playoffs
1988 - 7-9 (5th)
1989 - 2-1-13 (8th)
1990 - 2-14 (8th)
1991 - 7-2-7 (4th) - Finished fourth in playoffs
1992 - 5-11 (6th)
1993 - 9-7 (4th)
1994 - 4-12 (7th)

Coaches
Matthew Moore (1983)
Peter Connolly (1984)
Martin Moore (1985 - brother of Matthew Moore)
Chris Garvey (1986)
Travis Kitchener (1987)
Ben Dore (1988-1989)
Stanley Goodman (1990-1994)
Mike Morgan (1994)
Currently vacant

Home Ground
Fenton Road Grounds (popularly known as "Hell" - 10,000 capacity)

Playing Strip

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One of the eight men who walked away from the McCartney Hotel back in 1982 was the wealthiest and biggest (literally) farmer in all of Arcardia. Every potato that was ever sold in the supermarkets of Arcardia, from Calhournbar to Colart, was a product of Donald W. Hamilton's farms, on the outskirts of the city that shared his surname.

The original Hamiltons arrived in Arcardia in 1849 from County Kerry in Ireland, and possessed a great deal of agricultural knowledge. The family shot to prominence during the Great Potato Uprising of 1916, when Aloysius Hamilton was inprisoned on suspicion of being a German spy by the British colonial masters. The subsequent potato harvest was ruined and the colony was nearly decimated by disease and famine. This set off a chain of events that resulted in the British agreeing to self-government and eventually independence in 1947.

Since then, a member of the Hamilton family has always occupied a seat in the national parliament, and even produced a Prime Minister, Sebastian Hamilton, whose tenure in office was characterised by a set of unfortunate photo opportunities, including having his leg broken during a charity rugby league game.

Donald W. Hamilton (third son of the Prime Minister) had no political ambitions of his own but instead threw his considerable weight behind the Farmers, a non-profit sporting club first founded in 1961. With cricket, netball, croquet and athletics clubs, it seemed natural that the Farmers would enter a rugby league side as well.

If financial support could equate to success on the rugby league field, the Farmers would win the McCartney Cup nearly every year. However, this has not proven to be the case, with just one apperance in their history so far. They had to win two sudden death games just to qualify for their first apperance, and they have not been back to the playoffs in the six years since.

Now 80 years of age, Donald W. Hamilton has handed over day-to-day operations of the Farmers to his nephew, Michael Hamilton Smith, who promised a revival of footballing fortunes for the "Spuddies", as the Hamiltonites are also known.

Keeping things in the family, each of the coaches in the Farmers history has been either a blood relative or married to a member of the Hamilton dynasty. Not for nothing are they known as the "family club".

Season-by-season
1983 - 9-2-5 (4th) - Finished fourth in the playoffs
1984 - 9-7 (4th) - Finished fourth in the playoffs
1985 - 4-12 (7th)
1986 - 5-1-10 (7th)
1987 - 8-8 (5th)
1988 - 4-12 (8th)
1989 - 8-1-7 (4th) - lost McCartney Cup VII
1990 - 7-1-8 (5th)
1991 - 5-11 (6th)
1992 - 6-10 (5th)
1993 - 2-14 (8th)
1994 - 6-1-9 (5th)

Coaches
Paul Ingham (1983-1985 - resigned part-way through season)
Dean Lousick (1985-1986)
Paul Ingham (1987-1990)
James Hamilton (1991)
Billy Starmer (1992-1993 - resigned with two games left in season)
Michael Hamilton Smith (1993)
Travis Baker (1994)

Home Ground
Hamilton Stadium, Hamilton (capacity 15,000)

Playing Strip

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Arcardia played a critical role in World War II, with American forces based on the island between 1943 and 1944, until Douglas Macarthur realised that the island was closer to Chile and Antarctica than Japan and the Phillipines. He then solemly left, promising "I shall never return." He was as good as his word.

The legacy of the Arcardian war time experience was a brand new system of airfields constructed all over the island. The largest of these was constructed at the village of Jasperstown, slightly to the north of Calhournbar.

Jasperstown was named after the first British colonial governor Frederick A. Jasper, whose attempts to start a settlement were somewhat thwarted by repeated raids by French commandoes, none too happy to have le Anglais living on their island. Jasper was killed during these unhappy early days of British settlement, not by a rogue French whaler, but from slipping on rocks while walking his faithful companion Brim.

Jasperstown then wallowed in the midst of obscurity until 1944, when the new airport offered quick and easy access to the outside world. J-Town, as the locals call it, boomed overnight and became known as the "Gateway to Arcardia". The population swelled from 500 to 30,000 in the space of ten years.

Now with the only international airport in Arcardia, the Jets was a logical name for J-Town's rugby league side.

The early days of the Jets were cover-your-eyes awful, finishing last three times in the first five seasons. Recently they have made great improvements and featured twice in the McCartney Cup game, losing on both occasions.

Season by Season
1983 - 2-14 (8th)
1984 - 2-14 (8th)
1985 - 7-9 (6th)
1986 - 6-10 (6th)
1987 - 2-14 (8th)
1988 - 7-9 (6th)
1989 - 8-8 (5th)
1990 - 11-5 (3rd) - Finished fourth in playoffs
1991 - 10-1-5 (3rd) - Finished third in playoffs
1992 - 8-8 (4th) - Lost McCartney Cup X
1993 - 11-5 (3rd) - Lost McCartney Cup XI
1994 - 12-4 (3rd) - Finished fourth in playoffs

Coaches
Alexander Pope (1983)
Harry Taylor (1984)
Patrick King (1985-1987)
Danny Pike (1988)
Michael Smart (1989-1990)
Harry Taylor (1991-current)

Home Ground
Aerodrome Road (10,000 capacity)

Playing Strip

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Of the eight men to walked out of the McCartney Hotel in 1982, only one of them was a qualified dentist.

That particular dentist also happened to be one of Arcardia's foremost rugby league players, having earned the distinction of being the first Arcardian to play professional rugby league in England.

Rob Riordan was a winger with arguably the fastest 100-metre time in Arcardian history (arguably only because he claimed to have done it on his property in Palmerston, and not in official competition). He signed with the Hull Kingston Rovers for a fee of five pounds per week while completing his dentistry degree, playing three games and scoring one try.

Opening his practice in Palmerston (50km east of Calhournbar, population 50,000) in 1980, Riordan picked up where he left off and quickly became involved in rugby league matters, resulting in him sitting at the table of eight in the McCartney Hotel.

With his earnings from his dentistry practice, Riordan was able to buy a share in the new Palmerston Eagles franchise, and over the course of the next ten years fulfilled most of the roles open - player, captain, coach, football manager, and eventually majority owner.

Four apperances in the first five McCartney Cup games, with two wins, was a perfect way for Riordan to start his coaching career. However, it seemed that all of the success went to his head. The following years saw Riordan run the franchise down into the ground, so much so that the Eagles were forced to declare bankruptcy at the end of the 1993 season. A glance at the books revealed that Riordan had been dirverting funds into his childrens' education expenses for years.

The ARL eventually approved the sale of the Eagles to new owners, for the princely sum of $1. Riordan narrowly avoided a jail sentence, thanks to a pardon from President Scott in early 1994. For his part, Riordan was banned from any involvement in rugby league administration for fifty years. A harsh penalty, some may say, but a precedent that the ARL does not want to see repeated.

Under new coach Pat Bowman, the Eagles finished last in 1994.

Season by Season
1983 - 10-6 (2nd) - Lost McCartney Cup I
1984 - 9-7 (3rd) - Lost McCartney Cup II
1985 - 10-6 (3rd) - Finished fourth in playoffs
1986 - 10-1-5 (2nd) - McCartney Cup IV Champions
1987 - 10-6 (3rd) - McCartney Cup V Champions
1988 - 11-5 (2nd) - Finished third in playoffs
1989 - 7-9 (6th)
1990 - 6-1-9 (6th)
1991 - 3-1-12 (8th)
1992 - 5-11 (7th)
1993 - 4-12 (6th)
1994 - 2-14 (8th)

Coaches
Rob Riordan (1983-1993)
Pat Bowman (1994-current)

Home Ground
Palmerston Park (12,000 capacity)

Playing Strip

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Arcadia's second largest city is the harbour centre of Saltern. Founded in 1793 as a whaling centre by French sailors, it was initially known as Le Sud Paris (the Southern Paris). The only similairity that it shared with its rather better-known cousin was the name, with L.S.P. earning a nortious reputation as a favoured port-of-call for sailors. Not surprisingly, the shanty town had the highest birth rate in the fledging colony.

The British "invasion" of 1879 briefly saw a set of skirmishes in and around Le Sud Paris as Governor Jasper tried to enforce the control of Mother England over the whole of Arcardia. The resistance finally ended with the Great Fire of 1880, which wiped out all of the original settlement, paving the way for the rebuilding to begin.

The new city of Saltern retained none of the original charm of the original centre, and was largely scorned by sailors who instead preferred to stop in Calhournbar for their needs. The French inhabitants refused to have anything to do with the new "British" centre, withdrawing their attention to the Colart region. Thus for a long time, the future of Saltern was anything but assured.

After independence in 1947, the new government of Arcardia began a series of projects in and around the city which stimulated growth to the point where Saltern was once again a considerable population centre, of nearly 200,000 residents. It is home to the National University of Arcardia, which also had a large part in the resurrection of the city.

With such a long rivalry with the French, the Saltern-Colart rugby league games are amongst the most eagerly anticipated and problematic games on the calendar each year. In the first meeting back in 1983, the Bulldogs players were pelted with $1 coins by the Colts supporters. The Saltern crowd returned the favour in 1984 by halting their game with a crowd invasion, resulting in the arrest of 50 spectators after they broke the leg of Colart captain Pierre Duminy. The incident nearly saw both teams suspended for the 1985 season, although cooler heads soon prevailed.

The rivarly exploded back in the headlights in 1991 when Colart coach Tommy Tanks was suspended two games by ARL President John Stephenson for punching Saltern coach Charlie Grace at a post-game press conference on national television. The reasons for Tanks' outburst are still rather unclear, but may stem back to the time when both gentlemen were at Calhournbar Technical College back in 1959.

With such a strong British flavour, the team is naturally known as the Bulldogs. Their mascot, known as Winston Churchill, comes complete with cigar.

Season by Season
1983 - 8-8 (5th)
1984 - 11-5 (2nd) - finished third in playoffs
1985 - 8-8 (3rd) - finished third in playoffs
1986 - 10-6 (4th) - finished fourth in playoffs
1987 - 7-9 (6th)
1988 - 10-6 (3rd) - finished fourth in playoffs
1989 - 11-5 (1st) - McCartney Cup VII Champions
1990 - 11-5 (2nd) - Lost McCartney Cup VIII
1991 - 6-1-9 (5th)
1992 - 9-7 (3rd) - finished third in playoffs
1993 - 8-8 (5th)
1994 - 9-7 (4th) - finished third in playoffs

Coaches
David Franklin (1983-1987)
Charlie Grace (1988-1991)
David Franklin (1992-1993)
Sam Gibson (1994-current)

Home Ground
Williams Stadium (capacity 20,000)

Playing Strip

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The eighth and final team to join the ARL was the Thompson Tigers, based in the centre of Arcardia and roughly the same distance from Saltern, Jasperstown and Calhournbar. The Thompson region is made up of the towns of Annandale, Riverina and Mitchellton, which each share the home games of their beloved Tigers.

The Thompson River is the longest in Arcardia, running 136km for its length from the base of Mount Duperie out to the Pacific Ocean. Sugar is the major industry of the region, with no less than six sugar mills populating the district, and third only to potatoes and tourism as the major contributors to the Arcardian economy.

The history of the team has been a barren one so far, being the only team still waiting to qualify for the playoffs after twelve seasons of effort. In fact, their best position is only sixth place, achieved in 1994. Their best season in terms of wins was quite some time ago, back in 1989.

Contrary to rumour, there are no tigers in Arcardia.

Season by Season
1983 - 5-1-10 (7th)
1984 - 6-10 (7th)
1985 - 3-13 (8th)
1986 - 4-12 (8th)
1987 - 6-10 (7th)
1988 - 4-12 (7th)
1989 - 7-9 (7th)
1990 - 4-12 (7th)
1991 - 4-1-11 (7th)
1992 - 5-11 (8th)
1993 - 4-12 (7th)
1994 - 5-11 (6th)

Coaches
Jack West (1983)
Stephen Burton (1984-1987)
Jack West (1988)
Andrew McCallum (1989-1990)
Jimmy Jackson (1991)
Andrew McCallum (1992-1993 - resigned after 0-10 start)
Peter Swann (1993)
Jimmy Jackson (1994 - resigned after 0-9 start)
Tim Ryan (1994-current)

Home Grounds
Recreation Ground, Annandale (6,000 capacity)
Riverina Football Park, Riverina (5,000 capacity)
Tigers Stadium, Mitchellton (5,000 capacity)

Playing Strip

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Born in 1926 in Calhournbar, John Riley Stephenson was elected the inaugural president of the Arcardian Rugby League in November 1982. It was the culmination of a brilliant career which saw his life closely interlinked with that of his infant country.

Working as a potato picker on the Hamilton Plantations, the advent of World War II saw a sudden change in the mundane life of young Stephenson, as he volunteered for service as soon as he turned 16. With Arcardia officially a colony of Britain, he sailed to Canada and enrolled with the army there, but was discharged almost immediately on account of his only having one leg, the other one of which was lost in a tragic potato peeling accident in Hamilton in 1941.

Undeterred, he returned back to his island in the Pacific and worked as a journalist, firstly with the National Daily newspaper, and then as a newsreader on Radio Arcardia. It was his deep voice which announced to a delirous nation on May 5 1947:

"Le jour du destin est arrivé. Nous sommes une nation libre. The day of destiny has arrived. We are a free nation. Arcardia is independent!"

This somewhat upset the Prime Minister, who was standing by in the studios of Radio Arcardia to make the announcement himself.

Stephenson continued his journalism career and started to make several contacts within the small, sheltered world of Arcardian sports. He was a popular choice as the official team manager to the Melbourne Olympics, where Arcardia competed for the first time (its sole athlete, Mary Rice, failed to qualify in the heats of the 100m freestyle, giving Arcardia its 1:03.21 minutes of fame). Ignoring potential conflict of interest issues, Stephenson announced the race in the first live broadcast of sport on Arcardian radio:

"The race is over, but Rice is still swimming. She can't hear the marshals yelling at her. She is floundering. Oh Arcardia, this is a day to remember forever."

Stephenson was the first person to be shown on Arcardian television in 1966 (again upstaging the Prime Minister), and hosted a popular game show, Guess That Fruit! for many years out of the ATV studios in Saltern. Eventually he rose to the position of national newsreader, and was awarded the Medal of Valour by President Stein for his cool and calm demeanour on live national television during the twenty-minute invasion of Arcardia by the United States in 1973, an incident now jokingly laughed down by Arcardians as "just one of those things".

Despite never being able to play, Stephenson's first love (before his family, even) was the sport of rugby league. Introduced by British settlers in 1901 and grudgling adopted by the Francophone portion of Arcardia as a legitimate method of exacting revenge for L'invasion de 1879. With two sons who played in the Calhournbar district, but with no professional competition to pursue their career, Stephenson knew as well as anybody that a national competition was needed. He was uniquely placed, due to his many and varied positions over the course of his career, to effect such a drastic change.

It is generally accepted by all and sundry that without Stephenson's patience and diplomacy, especially when dealing with the various Colart-Saltern incidents, the Arcardian Rugby League would have imploded in a mess of finger-pointing and nastiness. The biggest crisis was the near-collapse of the Palmerston Eagles in 1993, when Rob Riordan was found with his fingers in the till of the finances. A quick word to the President from Stephenson averted the collapse of the team, and potentially the crippling of the ARL itself.

Twelve years after his initial election, and in failing health, Stephenson gave notice to each of the eight clubs that he intended to retire on his 70th birthday. "That will give me time to groom my successor, and ensure the future growth and stability of rugby league throughout this fine idyllic paradise that we call our own."

The teams responded by suggesting a new competition to be named in Stephenson's honour - a knockout competition before the start of the season proper, to be named the J.R. Stephenson Challenge Cup. While he politely declined the honour, he was outvoted 8-1 on the executive board of the ARL - the first and only time his wishes were denied.

Thus it was to be that 1995 saw the beginning of the Challenge Cup.

[Izulde]

Hmm. Eagles or Tigers... probably Tigers because I hate going to the dentist.

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Colts announce Cordouy as new coach
COLART - January 6 1995

Marcel Cordouy, a former five-eighth legend for the Colts who won two McCartney Cups, is coming home.

Colts CEO Pierre Bonaparte announced in Colart this morning that the Colts had signed Cordouy to a three-year contract with an option for a two year extension.

Cordouy, 42, played for the Colart Colts between 1983 and 1988, winning the McCartney Cup at the beginning and end of his career. He was the captain of the Colts in the McCartney Cup III game of 1985, but was replaced after their surprise loss to the Elderslie Devils.

He has a tough record to live up to - each of the three previous coaches employed in Colart have brought the McCartney Cup home to the French-speaking region. In addition, the Colts have played in the past four McCartney Cup games in a row. However, he is unfased by comparisons to his precedessors.

"I don't think that will be an issue at all. Perhaps some so-called experts may think there is pressure on me. I don't see it that way at all," Cordouy heatedly answered reporters. "We still have the nucleus of an excellent squad, and I look forward to hoisting the Coupe de McCartney in the near future."

Something old, something new for Devils
ELDERSLIE - January 14 1995

The Elderslie Devils are embarking on an unprecedented experiment in the 1995 - appointing two coaches for the first time in ARL history.

The old adage "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" clearly applies to the Elderslie side, as they look to end their twelve year McCartney Cup drought.

The "something old" is represented by Travis Kitchener, who last coached the Devils in 1987 to a respectable fifth placing. The "something new, borrowed and blue" is embodied in rookie coach Angus Ryan, a former player for the Calhournbar Crushers.

Naturally, all of the attention was focused on Ryan, who played for the Crushers between 1983 and 1992.

"I hope the Devils supporters can find it in their hearts to accept an 'outsider' as their new coach," he optimistically noted. "I've seen the kind of fanatical support that the burghers of Elderslie offer up each week, but I've seen the ugly side of it too. I'm sure Stan Goodwin will be able to offer a few tips of what not to do to get the locals offside. Winning games may be a start."

Under the arrangement, Ryan will become the sole coach of the Devils in 1996, while Kitchener reverts to the role of advisor. The question is though, are immediate results expected from the unlikely duo?

"I think you'll find we'd go alright this year," Kitchener said. "Admittedly last year was a shocker, but we also made the playoffs two seasons ago. With the ARL being a really close competition, we only need a few lucky breaks to go our way."

Challenge Cup Draw Held - Crushers Favourites
SALTERN - February 15 1995

ARL President John R. Stephenson has conducted the draw for the Challenge Cup which bears his name in an open luncheon today, with representatives of all eight clubs present.

Eight balls with each of the teams' names were placed in a barrel, with the president randomly selecting who would face who in each of the matches.

The draw is as follows:

Preliminary Matches
A. Elderslie Devils v Thompson Tigers (Fenton Road Grounds)
B. Palmerston Eagles v Saltern Bulldogs (Palmerston Park)
C. Jasperstown Jets v Calhournbar Crushers (Aerodrome Road)
D. Hamilton Farmers v Colart Colts (Hamilton Stadium)

Semi Finals
E. Winner A v Winner B
F. Winner C v Winner D

Cup Final
G. Winner E v Winner F

The Calhournbar Crushers have been installed as early favourites for the competition, despite having to travel to Aerodrome Road and play a tricky game against the Jets.

"It's a tough ground, that's for sure," said Crushers fullback Ben Wellington. "I remember playing there once when an Air Arcardia 747 was coming in on the afternoon flight. I thought it was going to land on the grandstand roof!"

[Rawhide]

Nice to have you onboard Izulde...I have stuck you on the bench for the Tigers. Here's hoping you find your way on the scorer's sheet this season, although it hasn't started that well for you.

Round One Results

ELDERSLIE DEVILS 22 (Green, Ford, O'Hallaran, Grice tries, Porter 3/4 goals) beat THOMPSON TIGERS 18 (Caine, Saunders, Graham tries, Saunders 3/5 goals)
1/4 - Devils 6-0
2/4 - Devils 10-8
3/4 - Tied 16-16
Crowd - 6,309 at Fenton Road Stadium, Elderslie

SALTERN BULLDOGS 42 (Fowler 2, Lindsay 2, Wilson, Gardner, Barker tries, Harman 7/8 goals) beat PALMERSTON EAGLES 12 (Grubb, Rayner tries, Flinders 2/2 goals)
1/4 - Bulldogs 8-6
2/4 - Bulldogs 20-12
3/4 - Bulldogs 26-12
Crowd - 3,280 at Palmerston Park, Palmerston

JASPERSTOWN JETS 18 (Moginie, Tyson tries, Stuart 5/6 goals) beat CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 12 (Gilmore, Wellington tries, Walsh 2/2 goals)
1/4 - Jets 6-0
2/4 - Jets 14-0
3/4 - Jets 14-12
Crowd - 9,184 at Aerodrome Road, Jasperstown

COLART COLTS 14 (Lapierre, D.Bonaparte tries, Lapierre 3/3 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 12 (D.Hamilton, Shinch tries, Cannon tries)
1/4 - Colts 6-0
2/4 - Colts 12-0
3/4 - Colts 14-0
Crowd - 10,029 at Hamilton Stadium, Hamilton

Challenge Cup Semi-Finals
Elderslie Devils v Saltern Bulldogs
Jasperstown Jets v Colart Colts

[Rawhide]

Bulldogs Brutal In Semi-Final Triumph
ELDERSLIE - March 6 1995

The Saltern Bulldogs became the first team to advance to the John R. Stephenson Challenge Cup final with a dominant 54-8 win against the Elderslie Devils at the Fenton Road Grounds.

The result was mildly shocking for those who expected a closer contest, but for Bulldogs captain Harry Harman it was vindication for Saltern's tough pre-season work.

"Sam (Gibson, Bulldogs coach) has been working us relentlessly during the preseason," admitted the eight year veteran. "We've actually been training for this since December, starting with long runs along the Saltern Foreshore. Then there was that three-day camp at Mistletoe Mountain. I think we are in the peak of physical condition right now and we are ready to take on the competition once again."

For Devils co-coach Angus Ryan it was a case of back to the drawing board.

"Our defensive structures broke down all night long. I'm sad and disappointed for our fans. It's not every day that we have a big game at Fenton Road."

Neither side reported any injury concerns.

Saltern will now host the Challenge Cup final against the winner of the J-Town/Colart match, while the Devils will have a three-week break before the start of the season.

SALTERN 54 (Wilson, Bowman, Fowler, Brook, McDermott, Gleeson, Harman, Woodman, Kay tries, Harman 9/10 goals) beat ELDERSLIE 8 (Green, Royston tries, Porter 0/2 goals)
1/4 - Bulldogs 8-4
2/4 - Bulldogs 14-8
3/4 - Bulldogs 30-8
Crowd - 9,603 at Fenton Road Grounds, Elderslie

Colts Gallop Into Cup Decider
JASPERSTOWN - March 7 1995

The Colart Colts have sent out a warning to their competitiors in the ARL this year - they're for real.

A 46-0 annilation of the Jets on their home patch should be enough to put the shudders through the other seven coaches in this year's McCartney Cup, including J-Town's Harry Taylor.

"That was quite a performance, wasn't it?" admitted the Jets coach, now in his sixth season in charge. "We were looking for a white cloth, or something, to hoist up in those last couple of minutes. I've never seen our boys get dominated in quite that manner."

For Colart, it was all about business.

"That was great," admitted Marcel Courdouy, "but it means nothing if we don't win the Cup. We have Saltern well and truly in our sights now."

No doubt the Colts will take up a battilion of fans to Williams Stadium. They have promised to be on their best behaviour.

"The Colts will win," pronounced a very confident Colart captain, Aaron Lapierre, in his heavily accented English. "But I should like to think that we will have many other good battles with the Bulldogs, and others, throughout the year. Let's not use all of our bullets in March."

Lapierre was the universal choice for man of the match following his splendid display, scoring four tries and kicking seven goals for a total of 30 points.

COLART COLTS 46 (Lapierre 4, Scuilie 2, R.Courdouy, D.Bonaparte tries, Lapierre 7/8 goals) beat JASPERSTOWN JETS 0
1/4 - Colts 12-0
2/4 - Colts 22-0
3/4 - Colts 34-0
Crowd - 8,389 at Aerodrom Road, Jasperstown

[Rawhide]

Colart In Control; Lapierre Leads The Way
SALTERN - March 14 1995

They had to do it the hard way - by winning three games away from their fortress in Colart - but the Colart Colts can lay claim to being the first team to win the John R. Stephenson Challenge Cup in the final won yesterday at Williams Stadium by 30 points to 18.

In a match which should whet the appetite of all rugby league supporters in Arcardia, the traditional rivalry between these two cities was put on the line in a fast and entertaining match.

The Colts shocked the locals and silenced the crowd as they stormed out to a 18-0 halftime lead courtesy of captain Aaron Lapierre, who appeared to play as though he had spiders on him. The crafty halfback had scored two tries by halftime and was dictating the terms of play to his Bulldogs opponents.

Lapierre made it a third try early in the second half to make it 24-0, but then things got really interesting. Two tries to the local favourites reduced the margin to 24-12, and it was game on.

At times the match threaten to spill over into the usual fisticuffs which have marked the Colts/Bulldogs rivalry, but Colart never lost their composure and went ahead 30-12 with thirteen minutes to play. Saltern managed to pull one try back but time was their true enemy, not Colart.

Aaron Lapierre was named the inaugural winner of the President's Medal as the Player of the Match in the Challenge Cup final.

Although he has already won three McCartney Cups, the 25 year old is in his first season as captain of Colart and was clearly emotional as he accepted the medal and the Challenge Cup from ARL President Stephenson.

It would appear that judging by the early indicators, the Colts are going to be very difficult to beat this year. A fourth McCartney Cup in five years is certainly not beyond them.

COLART COLTS 30 (Lapierre 3, Winston, Lucien tries, Lapierre 5/5 goals) beat SALTERN BULLDOGS 18 (Fowler, Harman, Bowman tries, Harman 3/3 goals)
1/4 - Colts 12-0
2/4 - Colts 18-0
3/4 - Colts 24-6
Crowd - 19,382 at Williams Stadium, Saltern.
President's Medal - Aaron Lapierre (Colart Colts)

[Rawhide]

Tommy Tanks, the former Colart Colts coach,
now prominent Arcardian radio personality.

Music fades out....

"Hello listeners and welcome once again to another action packed half hour - or is that an hour - can't remember....of 100% pure, rugby league action!

"I tell you what, I have been counting down the days since last August, when the Calhournbar Whatsits, the Crushers, I mean, lifted that McCartney Cup and hoisted it high. And what about that Challenge Cup final the other day? I tell you what, it was a great sight to see Colart galloping to victory once again.

"Now, to breaking news, I have in front of me the annual ARL pre-season coaches poll, fresh from McCartney House itself. And listeners, it's no surprise. I say this every year, but frankly....children, turn away, for a moment....the coaches poll is a big pile of crap.

"It's crap! I know from first hand experience. When did coaches ever take this thing seriously? When have they ever been right? When have coaches - and I include myself in this category - ever use their heads and vote with it, rather than putting their opponents last on the list?

"Now, for those of you who are new to this caper, each of the eight coaches are asked to rank their opponents from 1 to 7 - they can't vote for their own team, and quite rightly so. One point for their pick to win the big McCartney, seven points for the team that comes last - quite honestly, it's a simple system. The lowest number of points 'wins' the poll.

"For what it's worth, here are the latest results. Keep in mind listeners that they have never been right - not once!

"It was a split decision in the end, but the Calhournbar Crushers are the slight favourites to win it all, slightly ahead of Colart - and Jasperstown!

"I mean, Jasperstown? Goodness me!

"No surprise to see Saltern well down the list - that is the crux of my argument, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. It is an open secret - actually, it can't be much of a secret if you're hearing it on the Tommy Tanks Hour - but Colart and Saltern will never - NEVER! - put each other at one. They will always, ALWAYS put each other last.

"So, if you take this poll on face value, even the most simple minded ignoramus will realise that Colart have been stuffed out of winning another coaches poll, thanks to those dastardly Bulldogs.

"That's not to say that Monsieur Courdouy isn't lily-white himself. I highly doubt that he would place the Dogs any higher than any Colart coach - myself included - have done in the past, and put them dead last!

"But my dear audience, we have been informed that two coaches - two of the men entrusted to our rugby league teams, the ones holding the clipboards - have voted for two absolute outsiders to win it all in 1995! If it wasn't serious, it would be laughable.

"Elderslie have been given a sympathetic vote for first position, and the Thompson Tigers - this is a team with an American import, remember, a team so devoid of history on the field that they haven't even constructed a trophy cabinet in their club house - have also been predicted by one twit to finish first!

"Ladies and gentlemen, I put it to you that the coaches poll is plain stupid. I remember once in 1990 all of the coaches got together and decided to rig it - we predicted the poor old Spuds to win it all. Poor old Big Don Hamilton up and had a heart attack on the squad! Of course, the Spuds did make it to the big one - perhaps the only time that we got it sort-of-right, when we were completely playing around!"

ARL Coaches Poll - 1995
(Number of first place votes in brackes)
14 - Calhournbar Crushers (3)
17 - Colart Colts (3)
19 - Jasperstown Jets (0)
30 - Elderslie Devils (1)
31 - Hamilton Farmers (0)
34 - Saltern Bulldogs (0)
34 - Thompson Tigers (1)
45 - Palmerston Eagles (0)

"And now, I'm joined in the box in the Tommy Tanks Tribute Hour by a man whose insight for rugby league knows no bounds. He is a former McCartney Cup winning coach, and a regular contributor to this little patch of the airwaves. Welcome Mister Martin Moore...."


Martin Moore, 1985 McCartney
Cup winning coach for Elderslie.

"Thank you Tommy, great to be back for another cracking season!"

"Let's run the rule over this week's round of games. The season gets underway with the ding-dong of all battles, it's a replay of last season's McCartney Cup..."

"Yes Tommy, the Crushers travel over to take on Colart at Le Parc, which should be a great match-up. I think Colart should be too strong at home, especially with all of the Colts Fanatics blowing their whistles and tooting their trumpets. It will be interesting to see whether Lapierre can maintain the current form that he has shown so far this season..."

"So Colts for you?"

"Yep, Colart by eight."

"Okay, match two on the bill sees the Bulldogs licking their wounds, up against the Thompson Tigers."

"Yes. This match is to be played at Annandale, I believe, perhaps one of the more picturesque grounds in the ARL. Look, to be honest, I'm excited by the signing of this rogue American Izu...Izul....I can't even pronounce his name. I'm going to call him Izzy. The problem is, this is an unprecedented gamble from the Tigers. It could backfire worse than Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang. Bulldogs by twenty."

"This Izul...Iz....I can't even say it myself....Izzy is the first import into the ARL since Miguel Rodriguez, the former soccer player from Chile. And we all know how that turned out."

"Yes, intensive care after five minutes."

"Now for a game which absolutely nobody will care much about. Elderslie and the Eagles."

"Palmerston going into the depths of Hell over there at Elderslie, they shouldn't survive. Local lads by....oh, 40 points."

"Whoah! Forty? Divide that by ten, I think. Final match in round one sees the Spud Farmers from Hamilton jumping on their tractors and going up to J-Town. Who's got your attention here?"

"Jasperstown got well and truly spanked last time they played - 46-0 is just about as bad as it gets if your a Jet man. I think playing at home against Hamilton they have a real chance, but this will possibly be the closest match of the round. Can I tip a draw?"

"You're Martin Moore, you brought a McCartney Cup to Elderslie. You can do what you like."

"Okay then. Sixteen points apiece."

"That was the wizard of wisdom, Martin Moore, with his Round 1 predicitions. More after this short break...."

[Rawhide]

With the Prime Minister performing the obligatory season kickoff (an election was looming), the Elderslie Devils and Palmerston Eagles got the 1995 ARL season underway in an entertaining game at Fenton Road. Elderslie ran out deserving winners, scoring six tries to three.

ELDERSLIE DEVILS 28 (Grice 3, O'Halloran, Goff, Royston tries, Porter 4/6 goals) beat PALMERSTON EAGLES 22 (Manson, Rayner, Horn tries, Flinders 5/5 goals)
1/4 - Devils 14-0
2/4 - Devils 20-14
3/4 - Devils 28-20
Crowd - 8,092 at Fenton Road Grounds, Elderslie

The Saltern Bulldogs returned to the winner's circle with an easy win against the Tigers in Annandale. The stadium was disappointingly half-full for what would be one of three matches played at the ground this season. "The message for our fans is clear - get out and support us. We need you more than you may think," demanded captain Stephen Rodgers. The match was notable for the first apperance of American import Izulde, who didn't disappoint his supporters with a desperate try in the first half.

SALTERN BULLDOGS 42 (Wilson 2, Kay, McDonald, Woodman, Gleeson, Harman tries, Harman 7/7 goals) beat THOMPSON TIGERS 10 (Izulde, Roman tries, Saunders goal)
Crowd - 3,170 at Recreation Ground, Annandale
1/4 - Bulldogs 6-0
2/4 - Bulldogs 18-10
3/4 - Bulldogs 24-10
Crowd - 3,029 at Recreation Ground, Annandale

Calhournbar confounded the recent form book with a rousing 36-18 win against the high-flying Colart Colts. The Crushers took the crowd out of the equation early to lead 18-0, before two quick Colts scores got the locals back in the game. Scores were locked with 22 minutes to play, but the Crushers found a second gear and momentarily deflated the Colts, who some pundits believe may have been expecting a walk over win on home territory. "What can I say? We were very good today, but I think we can get better," warned Crushers coach Kevin Jackson, the wearer of three McCartney Cup rings.

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 36 (Bartlet 2, King 2, Finch, Wellington tries, Walsh 6/6 goals) beat COLART COLTS 18 (D.Bonaparte, Scuilie, Lapierre tries, Lapierre 3/3 goals)
1/4 - Crushers 6-0
2/4 - Crushers 18-12
3/4 - Tied 18-18
Crowd - 12,968 at Le Parc De Rugby a XIII, Colart

In the final match of the first round, Hamilton caused a minor upset by trouncing the Jets on their home patch to the tune of 34-12 in a match most people expected J-Town to win. It was a confidence building win according to coach Travis Baker, who inherited a team which had gone 2-14 in 1993. "Hopefully we can use this result to get some momentum that we can carry forward," he said while wearing a "Potato Farmer and PROUD of it!" cap at the press conference.

HAMILTON FARMERS 34 (Strong, D.Hamilton, Johnstone, O'Donnell, Cannon, Clifton tries, P.Hamilton 5/6 goals) beat JASPERSTOWN JETS 12 (Branch, Edwards tries, Branch 2/2 goals)
1/4 - Farmers 6-0
2/4 - Farmers 18-0
3/4 - Farmers 28-6
Crowd - 8,730 at Air Arcardia Stadium (formerly Aerodrome Road), Jasperstown

PLAYER OF THE WEEK
A tough decision for judges this week, but a fine performance from the Crushers in the McCartney Cup rematch saw their halfback Dave Gilmore get the nod, slightly ahead of teammate Charlie Bartlet and Saltern five-eighth Harry Harman.

WEEK ONE STANDINGS
Saltern Bulldogs 1-0 (+32)
Hamilton Farmers 1-0 (+22)
Calhournbar Crushers 1-0 (+18)
Elderslie Devils 1-0 (+8)
Palmerston Eagles 0-1 (-8)
Colart Colts 0-1 (-18)
Jasperstown Jets 0-1 (-22)
Thompson Tigers 0-1 (-32)

NB - Teams are ranked in the following criteria:
1. Record
2. Points Differential (Points scored takeaway points conceded - this is the number in brackets)
3. Points Scored For
4. Head To Head Record
5. Coin Toss

[Rawhide]

ARL Premiership Fixtures - Round 2
Palmerston Eagles (0-1) v Thompson Tigers (0-1) at Palmerston Park
Saltern Eagles (1-0) v Elderslie Devils (1-0) at Williams Stadium
Calhournbar Crushers (1-0) v Jasperstown Jets (0-1) at the National Stadium
Hamilton Farmers (1-0) v Colart Colts (0-1) at Hamilton Stadium

Colts Grand Final Hero Retires With No Regrets
COLART - March 24

Mark Winchester has suddenly retired from the Colart Colts at the age of 26, after an eight year career which saw him experience the highs and lows of the ARL.

It was an 18-year old Winchester who scored the try that got the Colts within reach of winning the McCartney Cup in 1988, in a contest that the Naps still recall with great pride.

With one minute remaining, the Crushers were ahead 26-20 and on the attack. Angus Ryan, the Crushers halfback (and now Devils co-coach) placed a 'bomb' over towards the wing where Winchester was defending. The Colts winger caught the ball cleanly and then set off down field chased by half of the Crushers side, finally scoring in the corner. The conversion was kicked and the Colts would go on to win the game in extra time.

The last three years have not been as good to Mark Winchester though, firstly being placed on the bench and then suffering a series of injuries that finally led him to announce his retirement today. He leaves as the fifth highest try-scorer in Colts rugby league history.

"I really have no regrets," he announced as he bounced his baby daughter on his lap. "I have many great memories and friends from my time in rugby league. Who knows what the future will bring?"

Mark Winchester
Colart Colts 1987-1995
Games - 103
Tries - 70
McCartney Cup Wins - 3 (1988, 1991, 1992)

[Rawhide]

The Thompson Tigers outlasted the Palmerston Eagles in a highly entertaining game at "Palmy Park", winning on a last-minute field goal from halfback Michael Jones. The Eagles led 6-0, 12-6 and 18-12 at various intervals of the game and also had an opportunity to win with a shot at penalty goal with three minutes remaining and the score locked up. "We just weren't good enough," mused Eagles coach Pat Bowman, whose team has won just two of their last twenty games. "We would have settled for a draw, but these things happen. I just hope we pull our socks up next week, when the Bulldogs come to town."

THOMPSON TIGERS 19 (Roman, Saunders, Izulde tries, Saunders 3/4 goals, Jones field goal) beat PALMERSTON EAGLES 18 (Harvey 2, Manson tries, Flinders 3/4 goals)
1/4 - Tied 6-6
2/4 - Eagles 12-6
3/4 - Eagles 18-12
Crowd - 9,468 at Palmerston Park, Palmerston

By contrast, it was a dour struggle at Williams Stadium where the Bulldogs outlasted the Devils 18-8 to go 2-0 on the season. The Devils managed to restrict Saltern to two tries but their ill-discipline cost them in the end, with the penalties going 13-1 to the home side. "That standard of referring was no good today," reacted an angry Angus Ryan. "You could give a bunch of drunks from the pub thirteen extra sets of possession and they are bound to score on at least one of those. I don't know if any of our infringements were any worse than that of the Bulldogs. I think the referees need to treat both sides equally."

SALTERN BULLDOGS 18 (Mathers, Walker tries, Sinfield 5/5 goals) beat ELDERSLIE DEVILS 8 (Moran, Sykes tries, Sykes 0/2 goals)
1/4 - Bulldogs 14-4
2/4 - Bulldogs 16-4
3/4 - Bulldogs 18-8
Crowd - 18,960 at Williams Stadium, Saltern

[Young Drachma]

I love the detail. The fact that you're doing it all via excel spreadsheet is amazingly awesome.

[Rawhide]

The Calhournbar Crushers paraded the McCartney Cup around the grounds before their clash with the Jasperstown Jets, to once again thank their loyal fans at the National Stadium. This marked the first home game for the Crushing Machine (as Kevin Jackson often described them), and they duly made the Jasperstown Jets their little playtoys, winning 24-4 and keeping their tryline intact in the process. After the game, Jackson urged J-Town fans to hang in there. "I thought they were a lot better than the scoreline suggested. Put it this way - it's an improvement on their inept display last week."

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 24 (Fulcher, Bruce, Scanley, Finch tries, Wellington 4/5 goals) beat JASPERSTOWN JETS 4 (Stuart 2/2 goals)
1/4 - Tied 4-4
2/4 - Crushers 12-4
3/4 - Crushers 18-4
Crowd - 19,650 at National Stadium, Calhournbar

In the final match of the round, the Farmers and Colts engaged in a shootout in front of a healthy crowd at Hamilton Stadium. For seventy minutes it seemed as though Hamilton would tip the form book upside down and start the season 2-0, but Colart found an extra gear to come back strongly and close out the highest scoring game of the year 38 to 26.

COLART COLTS 38 (Lapierre 2, Scuilie 2, R.Bonaparte, du Pont tries, Lapierre 7/7 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 26 (Johnstone, Strong, Fodder, Clifton tries, P.Hamilton 5/5 goals)
1/4 - Farmers 16-8
2/4 - Farmers 18-14
3/4 - Colts 20-18
Crowd - 12,392 at Hamilton Stadium, Hamilton

PLAYER OF THE WEEK
3 points - Ben Wellington (Crushers)
2 points - Charlie Bartlet (Crushers)
1 point - Patrick Amanae (Colts)

STANDINGS AFTER WEEK TWO
Saltern Bulldogs 2-0 (+42)
Calhournbar Crushers 2-0 (+38)
Hamilton Farmers 1-1 (+10)
Elderslie Devils 1-1 (-2)
Colart Colts 1-1 (-6)
Thompson Tigers 1-1 (-31)
Palmerston Eagles 0-2 (-9)
Jasperstown Jets 0-2 (-42)

Round Three Fixtures (Spread In Brackets)
Elderslie Devils v Thompson Tigers (-6.5)
Palmerston Eagles (-14.5) v Saltern Bulldogs
Colart Colts v Jasperstown Jets (-16.5)
Calhournbar Crushers v Hamilton Farmers (-8.5)

[Rawhide]

Thank you very much for your kind words, Dark Cloud.
Obviously, I am having a bit of fun with this - so far!

[Rawhide]

Tigers, Jets cause massive upsets
ELDERSLIE - April 5

The Thompson Tigers made a big statement today by beating the Elderslie Devils at one of the toughest away venues in the ARL - Fenton Road Grounds, or "Hell" as the visiting team usually calls it. They overcame an early ten point deficit to storm out winners and land in the top four.

Sensational new American winger Izulde capped off an incredible game by becoming the first player in Tigers history to score three tries in a single game - a hattrick, as it's known in Arcardia.

"That was a great win, and who knows where we go from here?" remarked the import as he walked onto the team bus. "One game at a time, one game at a time..."

The Thompson Tigers now have a short break before taking on the Farmers in the first of four mid-week games scheduled throughout the 1995 ARL premiership.

Police were called around to Angus Ryan's house after the Devils co-coach reported an angry mob burning an effigy of him in his front yard.

THOMPSON TIGERS 38 (Izulde 3, Graham, Howard, Rhodes, Jackson tries, Saunders 5/7 goals) beat ELDERSLIE DEVILS 16 (Porter, Jackson, O'Halloran tries, Porter 2/3 goals)
1/4 - Devils 16-6
2/4 - Tied 16-16
3/4 - Tigers 28-16
Crowd - 8,302 at Fenton Road Grounds, Elderslie

Saltern continued their unbeaten start to the premiership season with a 34-12 win over the struggling Eagles at Palmerston Park.

SALTERN BULLDOGS 34 (Harman, Bowman, Lindsay, Fowler, Brook, Wilson tries, Harman 5/6 goals) beat PALMERSTON EAGLES 12 (Cross, Flinders tries, Flinders 2/2 goals)
1/4 - Bulldogs 6-0
2/4 - Bulldogs 22-6
3/4 - Bulldogs 28-6
Crowd - 8,400 at Palmerston Park, Palmerston

Barely twenty hours after the Tigers caused the boilover of the season, the Jasperstown Jets trumped their achievement by travelling down to a hostile Colart field and walking away with two points. The Colts galloped out to an 18-0 lead after only five minutes in what was a horror start, but contentedly put their cue in the rack and allowed J-Town back into the contest. Jasperstown scored 32 unanswered points in the final 75 minutes of the contest.

Aided by a lopsided 15-1 penalty count - coincidentally, by the same referee who was in control of the Saltern-Elderslie match last week - the Jets dominated possession and showed a lot of character to make a game of it.

After the match, the happiest man in Arcardia was Harry Taylor. "We may have been to two McCartney Cup games in the last three years, but this result today was one of the best in my time at the club. I think this is the first time we've ever come down to Colart and come away with something more than a broken windscreen on the team bus. I'm happier than a pig in mud."

Jets captain Blake Stuart was also effusive in praise. "I've been there since the very beginning, when we used to have our backsides kicked around the countryside. In my thirteen years with J-Town, this is right up there."

JASPERSTOWN JETS 32 (Lambton 2, Nunn, Wild, Moginie tries, Stuart 6/6 goals) beat COLART COLTS 18 (Cordouy, R.Bonaparte, Winston tries, Lapierre 3/3 goals)
1/4 - Colts 18-0
2/4 - Tied 18-18
3/4 - Jets 26-18
Crowd - 13,665 at Le Parc De Rugby a XIII, Colart

The Spud Farmers came to the big city of Calhournbar with their many supporters anticipating this sequence of upsets to continue. Soon after halftime, their wish was being delivered with Hamilton holding an unlikely 14-10 lead. Some Ben Wellington magic soon after three-quarter time resumed normal transmission, although a late Farmers try reduced the defecit and made the final seconds very nervous for Crushers fans.

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 22 (Wellington 2, Fulcher tries, Wellington 5/5 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 20 (Bellamy 2, Jack tries, P.Hamilton 4/4 goals)
1/4 - Crushers 4-0
2/4 - Crushers 10-6
3/4 - Farmers 14-10
Crowd - 20,925 at National Stadium, Calhournbar

Player of the Week
3 points - Michael Jones (Thompson Tigers)
2 points - Izulde (Thompson Tigers)
1 point - Ben Bruce (Calhournbar Crushers)

Standings After Week Three
Saltern Bulldogs 3-0 (+64)
Calhournbar Crushers 3-0 (+40)
Thompson Tigers 2-1 (-9)
Hamilton Farmers 1-2 (+8)
Colart Colts 1-2 (-22)
Elderslie Devils 1-2 (-24)
Jasperstown Jets 1-2 (-28)
Palmerston Eagles 0-3 (-31)

Upcoming Fixtures

Wednesday Night Football 1
Thompson Tigers v Hamilton Farmers

Week Four Fixtures
Elderslie Devils v Colart Colts
Palmerston Eagles v Calhournbar Crushers
Thompson Tigers v Jasperstown Jets
Saltern Bulldogs v Hamilton Farmers

1 One week's fixtures is 'broken up' and played as Wednesday Night fixtures throughout the season. Each of the eight teams will play in one of four Wednesday night fixtures, which attract large audiences, both at the grounds and on the radio and television.

[Rawhide]

Wednesday Night Football
Live On 99.9FM - The Home Of Arcardian Football

The Riverina Football Ground (capacity 6000), one of the Tigers' three homes.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome to 99.9FM's broadcast of the first Wednesday Night Football clash of the season - we come to you live from Riverina, where the crowd is pouring in for this highly anticipated match between the Tigers and the Farmers. My name is Jim Rotsey and we're gearing up for our twelfth season of broadcasting Wednesday Night Football. Joining me in commentary tonight is former Saltern Bulldogs coach and regular 99.9FM analyst Charlie Grace - how are we tonight Charlie?"

"Well thank you Jim, excited for this game tonight. Tigers third after three weeks - who would have thought? The Farmers are also sitting in the top four, although there are a few teams breathing down their necks."

"Let's bring you some news for tonight's game. The referee who was in appointed for this match, Robert Ray, has been stood down by direct orders from John Stephenson, after Ray was involved in two very controversial matches in the past two weeks. What's your opinion on this Charlie?"

"Well, I don't often like to speak of referees, positively or otherwise, but it's clear that the driveway in Ray's mind doesn't go right into his garage."

----

Match Summary - Thompson Tigers v Hamilton Farmers - April 5 1995

5th min - Tigers 4-0 (Leigh Graham try, attempt at conversion failed)
8th min - Farmers 6-4 (Andrew Johnstone try, Paul Hamilton goal)
22nd min - Tigers 8-4 (Izulde try, attempt at conversion failed)

Rotsey - "Where has Izulde come from? That's six tries in four games! I've seen nothing quite like it!"

36th min - Farmers 10-8 (Paul Hamilton try, attempt at conversion failed)
50th min - Farmers 16-8 (Trevor Strong try, Paul Hamilton goal)
54th min - Farmers 16-12 (Izulde try, attempt at conversion failed)

Grace - "That's three misses from the Tigers kicker so far. They may rue those missed opportunities."

58th min - Farmers 18-12 (Paul Hamilton penalty goal)

Rotsey - "A clear decision from the replacement referee here tonight, Jack Schitt. Tigers holding on for far too long after that tackle."

63rd min - Farmers 18-16 (Grant Price try, attempt at conversion failed)

Grace - "Once again the flags stay down for the kick. That's the difference between winning and losing right now for the Tigers."

79th min - Tigers receive a penalty 40 metres out from the try line.

Rotsey - "A quick consultation with Tim Ryan and the Tigers are going to take a shot a penalty goal to level the scores. We could be all locked up here at Riverina. Peter Saunders has missed with every shot so far tonight; he won't be kicking, it will be Jacob McKean, the Tigers' hooker. He places the ball on the mound....that's the siren in the background, this is the last play of the game - it's either a Hamilton win, or a tie. McKean takes two steps back and moves in...ball's on it's way....and the flags are raised! We have a draw in our first Wednesday Night game of the year!"

THOMPSON TIGERS 18 (Izulde 2, Graham, Price tries, McKean 1/1, Saunders 0/4 goals) drew with HAMILTON TIGERS 18 (P.Hamilton, Johnstone, Strong tries, P.Hamilton 3/4 goals)
1/4 - Farmers 6-4
2/4 - Farmers 10-8
3/4 - Farmers 18-12
Crowd - 5,938 at Riverina Football Ground, Riverina.

Mid-Week Competition Standings
Saltern Bulldogs 3-0 (+64)
Calhournbar Crushers 3-0 (+40)
Thompson Tigers 2-1-1 (-9)
Hamilton Farmers 1-1-2 (+8)
Colart Colts 1-2 (-22)
Elderslie Devils 1-2 (-24)
Jasperstown Jets 1-2 (-28)
Palmerston Eagles 0-3 (-31)

[Izulde]

What a magical year thus far! And it's simply awesome that I'll go down in the annals of Tigers history.

[Rawhide]

What's Wrong With The Colts?
Questions asked after 1-3 start to the season

The Colart Colts are in crisis mode with rumours of a player mutiny after a shocking and surprising 12-8 loss to the Elderslie Devils today.

Our reporters from the Arcardian Daily were unable to speak directly with coach Michel Courdouy but a Colts player spoke with us on the condition of anominity.

"Morale was great after the Challenge Cup win," spoke 'Player X', "but since then it's been all about wins, wins, wins. We're not on speaking terms with Michel, all he does is bark orders at us. After the Jasperstown game he smashed all of the furniture in the dressing room with a sledgehammer, and even threw a bin towards Aaron Lapierre. We are genuinely fearful of him. I think you'll find a lot of players will decide to leave the club in 1996."

In the meanwhile, what a difference a week makes in the Ryan household!

"I got a lot of messages of support after last week's game," admitted Devils co-coach Angus Ryan, "most of them condeming the hundred or so supporters camping on my front lawn. I think there will be a much more positive vibe around town this week, especially if we end up in the top four at the end of it."

ELDERSLIE DEVILS 12 (Ford, Goff, Christensen tries, Smith 0/3 goals) beat COLART COLTS 8 (Lapierre try, Lapierre 2/2 goals)
1/4 - Devils 4-0
2/4 - Devils 4-0
3/4 - Devils 8-0
Crowd - 9,211 at Fenton Road Grounds, Elderslie

Defending champions Calhournbar continued their undefeated start to the season with a 30-10 win against the Palmerston Eagles.

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 30 (Michel, Finch, King, Bartlet, Wellington tries, Wellington 5/6 goals) beat PALMERSTON EAGLES 10 (Michaels, Kelly tries, Flinders 1/2 goals)
1/4 - Crushers 10-0
2/4 - Crushers 16-4
3/4 - Crushers 30-10
Crowd - 8,293 at Palmerston Park, Palmerston

With one of the rising starts of the ARL playing at their home ground, the 'gate closed' sign went up outside the Tigers Stadium in Mitchellton. The fans, of course, had come to see the "Lanky Yankee" Izulde strut his stuff for the black and oranges. While he did not disappoint - two more tries to the column, if you don't mind - the Jasperstown Jets continued in their winning ways and squeaked out a close 28-22 result.

JASPERSTOWN JETS 28 (Lambton, Wild, Nunn, Stuart, Black tries, Branch 4/7 goals) beat THOMPSON TIGERS 22 (Izulde 2, Graham, King tries, Saunders 3/4 goals)
1/4 - Tigers 12-6
2/4 - Tigers 16-10
3/4 - Jets 20-16
Crowd - 5,921 at Tigers Stadium, Mitchellton

The loyal Farmers supporters made their third road-trip in as many games, this time to Saltern. Apart from the first and the last try of the game, there was absolutely nothing to smile about if you were a Spuds man, with the Bulldogs running the game to perfection. Even the Bulldogs youngsters got in on the act, with 19-year old twins Cade and Hayden Holdsworth finding their way onto the scorer's list.

SALTERN BULLDOGS 48 (Hurst, Brook, H.Holdsworth, Gleeson, McDonald, Fowler, Bowman, C.Holdsworth tries, Harman 8/8 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 10 (Shinch, Cannon tries, D.Hamilton 1/2 goals)
1/4 - Bulldogs 6-4
2/4 - Bulldogs 30-4
3/4 - Bulldogs 42-4
Crowd - 19,122 at Williams Stadium, Saltern

Player of the Week (Including Wednesday Night Football)
3 points -David Gilmore (Calhournbar Crushers)
2 points -Dan Bowman (Saltern Bulldogs)
1 point - Ben Black (Jasperstown Jets)

Standings After Week Four
Saltern Bulldogs 4-0 (+102)
Calhournbar Crushers 4-0 (+60)
Thompson Tigers 2-1-2 (-15)
Elderslie Devils 2-2 (-20)
Jasperstown Jets 2-2 (-22)
Hamilton Farmers 1-1-3 (-30)
Colart Colts 1-3 (-26)
Palmerston Eagles (-51)

Next Week's Fixtures
Calhournbar Crushers v Elderslie Devils
Jasperstown Jets v Palmerston Eagles
Hamilton Farmers v Thompson Tigers
Colart Colts v Saltern Bulldogs

[Rawhide]

The Elderslie Devils probably won't realise it, but they've given the rest of the competition a huge boost with their 22-30 loss to the Crushers today - they've provided a blue print on how to topple the defending champions.

"Just get right up and in their face," admitted co-coach Travis Kitchener. "That was our aim, just to unsettle their more experienced players. We didn't quite commit to the plan for the full 80 minutes, but I think we've given a good account of ourselves here this afternoon."

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 30 (Wellington 2, Lang, Bruce, Bartlet tries, Wellington 5/5 goals) beat ELDERSLIE DEVILS 22 (Green, Royston, Christensen, Norman tries, Porter 3/4 goals)
1/4 - Crushers 12-0
2/4 - Crushers 18-10
3/4 - Crushers 18-16
Crowd - 22,391 at National Stadium, Calhournbar

Palmerston won their first game of the year with a tough, grinding 30-18 result against the Jasperstown Jets. The Jets could have moved into the top four with a win, so it wasn't surprising that coach Harry Taylor cut such a forlorn figure on the sidelines after full-time.

PALMERSTON EAGLES 30 (Rayner 2, Lousick, Horn, Grubb tries, Flinders 5/6 goals) beat JASPERSTOWN JETS 18 (Anderson, Wild, Branch tries, Stuart 3/4 goals)
1/4 - Jets 6-0
2/4 - Eagles 18-6
3/4 - Eagles 18-12
Crowd - 6,593 at Air Arcardia Stadium, Jasperstown

The Thompson Tigers and Hamilton Farmers met for the second time this season, and the result was exactly the same as last time - a draw. Once again, the Tigers had a shot at penalty goal in the shadows of halftime to earn the share of the competition points.

HAMILTON FARMERS 14 (Cannon, Cole tries, P.Hamilton 3/5 goals) drew with THOMPSON TIGERS 14 (Turner, Jackson tries, McKean 3/4 goals)
1/4 - Farmers 2-0
2/4 - Farmers 8-6
3/4 - Farmers 14-6
Crowd - 13,291 at Hamilton Stadium, Hamilton

By far the most anticipated match of the round was the "Stinkfest" between Colart and Saltern, made more enticing by the Colts' current struggles and the Bulldogs' powerful start to the season. Despite the rumours of player discontentment - a rumour that earned legs thanks to the rumblings of 'Player X', the Colts turned on a real performance for their home fans and ran out 32-16 winners, leaving the Crushers as the only undefeated side of 1995. Aaron Lapierre made a welcome return to form, bagging three tries and 24 points, while Garcon Courdouy - the son of the embattled coach - also found his way onto the scoresheet.

COLART COLTS 32 (Lapierre 3, Courdouy, Winston tries, Lapierre 6/7 goals) beat SALTERN BULLDOGS 16 (Harman, Buchan, Lindsay tries, Harman 2/4 goals)
1/4 - Colts 6-0
2/4 - Colts 14-4
3/4 - Colts 32-10
Crowd - 14,992 at Le Parc Du Rugby a XIII, Colart

Player of the Week
3 points - Aaron Lapierre (Colart Colts)
2 points - Ben Wellington (Calhournbar Crushers)
1 point - Cale Horn (Palmerston Eagles)

Standings after Week 5
Calhournbar Crushers 5-0 (+68)
Saltern Bulldogs 4-1 (+86)
Thompson Tigers 2-2-2 (-15)
Colart Colts 2-3 (-10)
Elderslie Devils 2-3 (-28)
Jasperstown Jets 2-3 (-34)
Hamilton Farmers 1-2-3 (-30)
Palmerston Eagles 1-4 (-39)

Next Week's Fixtures

Wednesday Night Football
Palmerston Eagles v Elderslie Devils

Week Six
Elderslie Devils v Jasperstown Jets
Palmerston Eagles v Hamilton Farmers
Thompson Tigers v Colart Colts
Saltern Bulldogs v Calhournbar Crushers

[SirFozzie]

Good stuff. They actually aired the NRL playoffs on Spike TV this year. (it had a contract with Setanta but it was droped)

[Rawhide]

Thanks for your thoughts SirFozzie. Glad to hear you are enjoying this story. The playoffs have certainly been unpredictable this year. For those who care, the NRL Grand Final is being played this Sunday afternoon between the Melbourne Storm and the Parramatta Eels.

[Rawhide]

Wednesday Night Football

Palmerston Park (15,000 seats), the home ground of the Eagles since 1986.

Transcript of Wednesday Night Football game between Palmerston Eagles and Elderslie Devils:

6th min - Palmerston 2-0 (Matthew Flinders penalty goal)
16th min - Elderslie 4-2 (Tom Norman try, attempt at conversion failed)
18th min - Palmerston 8-4 (Matthew Flinders try, goal)
24th min - Elderslie 10-8 (Rob Jackson try, Mick Porter goal)
30th min - Elderslie 16-8 (Mark Green try, Mick Porter goal)
34th min - Elderslie 16-14 (Marty Lousick try, Matthew Flinders goal)
39th min - Palmerston 20-16 (Sam Michaels try, Matthew Flinders goal)
44th min - Elderslie 22-20 (Mark Green try, Mick Porter goal)
64th min - Palmerston 26-22 (Marty Lousick try, Matthew Flinders goal)
70th min - Elderslie 28-26 (Ryan Royston try, Mick Porter goal)
79th min - Elderslie 34-26 (Rob Jackson try, Mick Porter goal)

ELDERSLIE DEVILS 34 (Jackson 2, Green 2, Norman, Royston tries, Porter 5/6 goals) beat PALMERSTON EAGLES 26 (Lousick 2, Flinders, Michaels tries, Flinders 4/5 goals)
1/4 - Eagles 8-4
2/4 - Eagles 20-16
3/4 - Devils 22-20
Crowd - 14,293 at Palmerston Park, Palmerston

Updated Ladder
Calhournbar Crushers 5-0 (+68)
Saltern Bulldogs 4-1 (+86)
Thompson Tigers 2-2-2 (-15)
Elderslie Devils 3-3 (-20)
Colart Colts 2-3 (-10)
Jasperstown Jets 2-3 (-34)
Hamilton Farmers 1-2-3 (-30)
Palmerston Eagles 1-5 (-47)

[Rawhide]

The Jasperstown Jets travelled to Hell and came back with an important win, outlasting the Elderslie Devils by 30 points to 24. The Jets dominated the middle third of the match and held a 30-6 lead before allowing their opposition to come back.

"At the end of the day, every match is important," mused Devils co-coach Angus Ryan. "You just don't know whether those twenty minutes straight after halftime cost us a spot in the top four. We'll have to wait and see, and in the meanwhile pull our socks up and put in a better effort next week."

JASPERSTOWN JETS 30 (Moginie, Gold, Edwards, Anderson, Stuart tries, Stuart 5/5 goals) defeated ELDERSLIE DEVILS 24 (Norman, O'Halloran, Jackson, Royston tries, Porter 4/4 goals)
1/4 - Jets 12-0
2/4 - Jets 18-6
3/4 - Jets 30-6
Crowd - 8,102 at Fenton Road Grounds, Elderslie

It was a contest between seventh and eighth at Palmerston Park, and both the Eagles and Farmers demonstrated exactly why they currently occupy those two places, with a stumbling performance. The Farmers were the first - and only - side to score a try, coming very late in the first half, before adding four more in the second and consigning Palmerston to last place on the ladder - "with an anchor," as Pat Bowman mused at the obligatory press conference.

HAMILTON FARMERS 32 (P.Hamilton, Shinch, Cole, Fodder, Strong tries, P.Hamilton 6/6 goals) defeated PALMERSTON EAGLES 2 (Flinders 1/1 goal)
1/4 - No score
2/4 - Farmers 6-2
3/4 - Farmers 20-6
Crowd - 5,293 at Palmerston Park, Palmerston

The Thompson Tigers have had a memorable season thus far and took on the challenge of playing the Colart Colts with both hands. They shocked almost everybody in Arcardia (apart from those in the Thompson region) by skipping out to an 18-0 lead, but allowed the Colts to come storming back and eventually level the scores 24-24 with twenty minutes to play. But instead of rolling over, the Tigers found another gear and created a slice of history with a 48-30 win.

Many records were created, including Izulde continuing his freakish try-scoring efforts (three more), Saunders kicking eight goals for the Tigers (a club record), the highest Thompson Tigers score in thirteen seasons, and the highest losing score in ARL premiership history. Marcel Courdouy sat sourfaced in the post game press conference and simply promised "More tackling practice, that is the only way!", much to the annoyance of his players.

THOMPSON TIGERS 48 (Izulde 3, Hudson 2, Lynch, Smith, Saxton tries, Saunders 8/8 goals) beat COLART COLTS 30 (Lucien, Friere Lapierre, R.Bonaparte, Scuilie tries, Lapierre 5/6 goals)
1/4 - Tigers 18-0
2/4 - Tigers 18-12
3/4 - Tied 24-24
Crowd - 4,921 at Recreation Ground, Annandale

The final game of the round saw first and second go head to head for the first time this season. A week ago, it promised to be a battle of unbeaten sides - that is, until the Colts took care of the Bulldogs. Now, the Crushers were trying to establish a two-game buffer between themselves and Saltern, whose supporters packed the antiquated Williams Stadium to try and prevent such an outcome. It was a see-sawing battle which saw the lead change several times; the Bulldogs led 18-6 at one stage, and were still up 22-20 with 23 minutes to play. However, the quality of the Crushers eventually shone through as Kevin Jackson's men chalked up perhaps their most crucial win of the season thus far.

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 28 (King 2, Lang, Bruce tries, Wellington 6/6 goals) beat SALTERN BULLDOGS 22 (Woodman, Harman, Bowman, McDonald tries, Sinfield 3/4 goals)
1/4 - Tied 6-6
2/4 - Bulldogs 18-12
3/4 - Crushers 26-22
Crowd - 19,901 at Williams Stadium, Saltern

Player of the Round (Including Wednesday Night Football)
3 points - Charlie Bartlet (Calhournbar Crushers)
2 points - Izulde (Thompson Tigers)
1 point - Rob Jackson (Elderslie Devils)

Standings After Week 6
Calhournbar Crushers 6-0 (+74)
Saltern Bulldogs 4-2 (+80)
Thompson Tigers 3-2-2 (+3)
Jasperstown Jets 3-3 (-28)
Hamilton Farmers 2-2-3 (Even)
Elderslie Devils 3-4 (-26)
Colart Colts 2-4 (-28)
Palmerston Eagles 1-6 (-77)

Next Week's Fixtures

Wednesday Night Football
Saltern Bulldogs v Jasperstown Jets

Week 7
Hamilton Farmers v Elderslie Devils
Colart Colts v Palmerston Eagles
Calhournbar Crushers v Thompson Tigers
Jasperstown Jets v Saltern Bulldogs

[Rawhide]

"Welcome back to the Tommy Tanks Halfhour - your one stop shop for everything rugby league!

"Now, some breaking news out of the Bulldogs and Jets camps. They have issued a joint statement slamming the 'idiotic' scheduling that sees both teams play each other twice in the space of four days. Saltern will play host for this year's third Wednesday night game, while Jasperstown will return the favour in the Week 7 fixture. They have applied to ARL President Stephenson to have the Week 7 fixture postponed until a later date, but the mail that we are getting is that it is highly unlikely to be accepted.

"Also, we have had a rumour surfacing out of Calhournbar...is this Kevin Jackson's last season? He's had a marvellous run in charge of the Crushers, taking over in 1984, and winning three McCartneys, including last year's title. His team is undefeated and pretty well unbeatable this year. Is it the perfect time to walk away?

"Who would replace him? There's already a former Crushers player doing a fine job working for the Devils...but will they let him go?

"The other rumour is that there are two people well in the running to succeed John Riley Stephenson when he steps down early next year. One has been in and out of the rugby league spotlight over a number of years, filling a series of roles including coach and commentator. The other person is a well-known member of parliament who is still dipping her...I mean, their toes into the world of rugby league. I'll let you join the dots, my dear listeners....I can confirm that one of the candidates has promised to do away completely with the current silly scheduling issues. Less is more, my friends! I will...I mean, this candidate will make the competition better by doing less, not more! Now, I think we urgently need to go to an advertisement...."

[Rawhide]

Wednesday Night Football

Williams Stadium in Saltern is one of the most modern facilities in Arcardia, being built for a failed attempt at
hosting the 1994 Commonwealth Games.

Edited transcript of the Wednesday Night Football match between the Saltern Bulldogs and Jasperstown Jets.

8th min - Saltern 2-0 (Harman penalty goal)
16th min - Tied 2-2 (Stuart penalty goal)
21st min - Saltern 8-2 (Pont try, Harman goal)
25th min - Saltern 14-2 (Brook try, Harman goal)
30th min - Saltern 14-8 (Stuart try, goal)
43rd min - Saltern 20-8 (Bowman try, Harman goal)
48th min - Saltern 24-8 (Hurst try, failed attempt at conversion)
57th min - Saltern 24-12 (Franklin try, failed attempt at conversion)
79th min - Saltern 26-12 (Harman penalty goal)

SALTERN BULLDOGS 26 (Pont, Brook, Bowman, Hurst tries, Harman 5/6 goals) beat JASPERSTOWN JETS 12 (Stuart, Franklin tries, Stuart 2/3 goals)
1/4 - Tied 2-2
2/4 - Bulldogs 14-8
3/4 - Bulldogs 24-12
Crowd - 18,291 at Williams Stadium

Updated Standings
Calhournbar Crushers 6-0 (+74)
Saltern Bulldogs 5-2 (+94)
Thompson Tigers 3-2-2 (+3)
Hamilton Farmers 2-2-3 (Even)
Elderslie Devils 3-4 (-26)
Jasperstown Jets 3-4 (-42)
Colart Colts 2-4 (-28)
Palmerston Eagles 1-6 (-77)

[Rawhide]

Nearing the halfway stage of the season, it was vital that teams start to develop consistency as they mount their challenge for the McCartney Cup. So far, only Calhournbar had shown the kind of consistency needed to hoist the Cup on July 12, but the history of the ARL was littered with examples of teams which had busted their gut all season only to have nothing to show for it at the end.

In 1986 and 1987, Calhournbar finished first on both occasions before being upset by Palmerston in the McCartney Cup. The Crushers also lost to Colart in 1991, after going 15-1 in the regular season.

Thus it was that Elderslie took on the Farmers after setting off in their droves and travelling halfway across Arcardia, arriving in Hamilton the night before the game and enjoying the hospitality of the many bars that line Aloysius Street. It seemed that the boozing would be the only highlight for Devils supporters, before a frantic final ten minutes saw the boys from Elderslie land a famous victory.

ELDERSLIE DEVILS 18 (Royston, Porter, Christensen tries, Porter 3/4 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 14 (Clifton, P.Hamilton try, P.Hamilton 3/3 goals)
1/4 - No score
2/4 - Farmers 6-4
3/4 - Farmers 12-4
Crowd - 13,291 at Hamilton Stadium, Hamilton

Seventh once again played eight, but this time it was Colart playing Palmerston at Le Parc. Although the scoreline was flattering towards the Colts, they never really had control of the game, although "a win is a win is a win," as Marcel Courdouy helpfully reminded the journalists after the game.

COLART COLTS 34 (Sculie 3, D.Bonaparte 2, Lapierre tries, Lapierre 5/6 goals) beat PALMERSTON EAGLES 12 (Harvey, Horn tries, Flinders 2/2 goals)
1/4 - Colts 6-0
2/4 - Colts 12-0
3/4 - Colts 22-12
Crowd - 11,094 at Le Parc du Rugby a XIII, Colart

Ben Wellington wrote his name into the history books as the first player in ARL history to score five tries in a game as the Calhournbar Crushers lived up to their name and crushed the Thompson Tigers by 50 points to 0. His personal haul of 20 points would have been greater had he not handed over goalkicking duties to Michael Walsh. "I just don't know what happened out there," admitted the Crushers captain. "Today was one of those days, I guess, where everything just stuck..."

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 50 (Wellington 5, Lousick 2, Bruce, Fulcher tries, Walsh 7/9 goals) beat THOMPSON TIGERS 0
1/4 - Crushers 6-0
2/4 - Crushers 16-0
3/4 - Crushers 34-0
Crowd - 19,203 at National Stadium, Calhournbar

In the final match of the week, Jasperstown once again played Saltern, this time for the second time in four days. The Jets skipped out to a 16-2 lead, and then led 22-8 before the Bulldogs pulled them back - where they playing 'rope-a-dope'? Ultimately the poor discipline of both sides cost them the shot at victory - there were six penalty goals kicked in the draw, the third of the season for the ARL.

JASPERSTOWN JETS 24 (O'Loughlin 2, Stuart tries, Stuart 6/6 goals) drew with SALTERN BULLDOGS 24 (H.Holdsworth, Gleeson Bowman tries, Harman 6/6 goals)
1/4 - Jets 14-2
2/4 - Jets 22-14
3/4 - Jets 22-16
Crowd - 8,115 at Air Arcardia Stadium, Jasperstown

Player of the Week (Including Wednesday Night Football)
3 points - Ben Wellington (Calhournbar Crushers)
2 points - Pierre Scuilie (Colart Colts)
1 point - Roberte Bonaparte (Colart Colts)

Standings after Week 7
Calhournbar Crushers 7-0 (+124)
Saltern Bulldogs 5-1-2 (+94)
Elderslie Devils 4-4 (-22)
Thompson Tigers 3-2-3 (-47)
Jasperstown Jets 3-1-4 (-42)
Colart Colts 3-4 (-6)
Hamilton Farmers 2-2-4 (-4)
Palmerston Eagles 1-7 (-99)

Next Week's Fixtures

Wednesday Night Football/Arcardian Independence Day Game
Calhournbar Crushers v Colart Colts

Week 8
Hamilton Farmers v Saltern Bulldogs
Thompson Tigers v Colart Colts
Elderslie Devils v Calhournbar Crushers
Palmerston Eagles v Jasperstown Jets

[Rawhide]

Wednesday Night Football
Arcardian Independence Day Edition

Calhournbar gears up to celebrate the 48th anniversary of independence
from Great Britain with a good old-fashioned rugby league derby against the Colts.

Transcript of the Independence Day Derby between Calhournbar and Colart.

26th min - Calhournbar 4-0 (Jean Michel try, attempt at conversion failed)
31st min - Calhournbar 8-0 (Ben Wellington try, attempt at conversion failed)
36th min - Calhournbar 12-0 (Ben Wellington try, attempt at conversion failed)
53rd min - Calhournbar 12-6 (Thomas Bonaparte try, Aaron Lapierre goal)
55th min - Calhournbar 18-6 (Ben Wellington try, Sam Hooper goal)
70th min - Calhournbar 18-12 (Robert Riare try, Aaron Lapierre goal)
79th min - Calhournbar 18-16 (Aaron Lapierre try, attempt at conversion failed)

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 18 (Wellington 3, Michel tries, Hooper 1/1, Wellington 0/3 goals) beat COLART COLTS 16 (T.Bonaparte, Riare, Lapierre tries, Lapierre 2/3 goals)
1/4 - No score
2/4 - Crushers 12-0
3/4 - Crushers 18-6
Crowd - 23,192 at National Stadium, Calhournbar

Updated Standings (note: official halfway point of season)
Calhournbar Crushers 8-0 (+126)
Saltern Bulldogs 5-1-2 (+94)
Elderslie Devils 4-4 (-22)
Thompson Tigers 3-2-3 (-47)
Jasperstown Jets 3-1-4 (-42)
Hamilton Farmers 2-2-4 (-4)
Colart Colts 3-5 (-8)
Palmerston Eagles 1-7 (-99)

[Rawhide]

Here is a news story which may appeal to the funny side of those of you who are following this post. The only thing left to establish is, would they be Elderslie fans?

[Rawhide]

May 10 - Week 8 matches

Saltern strengthened their hold on second position with a 28-22 win at Hamilton Stadium in front of 14,293 loyal Spuds fans. They had to do it the hard way, trailing 18-6 after just nine minutes, before dominating possession in the second half and finishing over the top of the Farmers.

"That was a vital win," admitted captain Harry Harman. "We think we are still a real chance at getting top spot, but we need to take care of the teams such as Hamilton that may not necessarily be a factor later in the season."

SALTERN BULLDOGS 28 (Woodman, Kay, Bowman, Brook, Fowler tries, Harman 4/6 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 22 (Cannon, Johnstone, P.Hamilton, Cole tries, P.Hamilton 3/4 goals)
1/4 - Farmers 18-6
2/4 - Farmers 18-16
3/4 - Bulldogs 26-22
Crowd - 14,293 at Hamilton Stadium, Hamilton

The Colart Colts were staring at the real possibility of missing the Top Four for the first time since 1984, should they lose to the Thompson Tigers at Mitchellton. Accordingly, they turned in a methodical performance and snuffed out the Tigers, who only scored two late consolation tries to give their supporters some heart.

COLART COLTS 22 (Winston, Lucien, R.Bonaparte, Riare tries, Lapierre 3/4 goals) beat THOMPSON TIGERS 12 (Izulde, Turner tries, Saunders 2/2 goals)
1/4 - Colts 6-0
2/4 - Colts 10-0
3/4 - Colts 16-0
Crowd - 4,592 at Tigers Stadium, Mitchellton

The undefeated Calhournbar Crushers bandwagon rolled into Hell on a cold Sunday afternoon, and faced one of the toughest away trips of the season. At halftime it looked as though Elderslie were on the cusp of a famous win, but the Crushers never allowed their opposition back into the game and made it 9-0 for the start of the season. Afterwards, various media outlets (including the Tommy Tanks Halfhour) speculated whether the Crushers would be the first team to go undefeated in a season.

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 26 (Fulcher 2, King, Wellington tries, Wellington 5/7 goals) beat ELDERSLIE DEVILS 10 (Grice, O'Halloran tries, Porter 1/2 goal)
1/4 - Crushers 8-6
2/4 - Crushers 14-10
3/4 - Crushers 20-10
Crowd - 9,901 at Fenton Road Grounds, Elderslie

In the final match of the week, the Jasperstown Jets swooped upon the Palmerston Eagles and enjoyed a day out, racking up seven tries to one in a win against the last-placed team. "We can really start looking forward to 1996, I guess," commented Pat Bowman. "It's not much fun getting beat up like that in our home patch, but the Jets are still a pretty good side."

JASPERSTOWN JETS 38 (Branch 2, Black, Anderson, Franklin, Stuart, Lambton tries, Branch 5/8 goals) beat PALMERSTON EAGLES 4 (Kelly try, Kelly 0/1 goal)
1/4 - Jets 10-0
2/4 - Jets 14-0
3/4 - Jets 26-0
Crowd - 3,492 at Palmerston Park, Palmerston

Player of the Round (including Wednesday Night Football)
3 points - Samuel Hooper (Calhournbar Crushers)
2 points - Charlie Bartlet (Calhournbar Crushers)
1 point - Aaron Lapierre (Colart Colts)

Updated Standings
Calhournbar Crushers 9-0 (+142)
Saltern Bulldogs 6-1-2 (+100)
Jasperstown Jets 4-1-4 (-8)
Colart Colts 4-5 (+2)
Elderslie Devils 4-5 (-38)
Thompson Tigers 3-2-4 (-57)
Hamilton Farmers 2-2-5 (-10)
Palmerston Eagles 1-8 (-133)

Next Week's Games
Thompson Tigers v Palmerston Eagles
Elderslie Devils v Saltern Bulldogs
Jasperstown Jets v Calhournbar Crushers
Colart Colts v Hamilton Farmers

[Rawhide]

Week 9 - May 17 1995

The Thompson Tigers produced a controlled 24-10 win against the struggling Palmerston Eagles at the Riverina Recreation Grounds, with try-scoring sensation Izulde finding his way on the scorer's sheet another two times this season. For the first time, he tried his luck at goal-kicking and proved himself worthy in that department too!

THOMPSON TIGERS 24 (Izulde 2, McKean, Price tries, Izulde 4/4 goals) beat PALMERSTON EAGLES 10 (Horne, Manson tries, Flinders 1/2 goals)
1/4 - Tigers 6-0
2/4 - Tigers 24-4
3/4 - Tigers 24-10
Crowd - 5,391 at Recreation Grounds, Riverina

Last week they were just unlucky; this week the Elderslie Devils had nobody but themselves to blame as they threw away a 20-6 lead to lose 24-20 to the Saltern Bulldogs. The result dropped the Devils to 4-6 and behind the Tigers and Colts in the race to make the Top Four.

SALTERN BULLDOGS 24 (Brook, Fowler, Lindsay, Woodman tries, Harman 4/4 goals) beat ELDERSLIE DEVILS 20 (Royston, Christensen, French, Green tries, Porter 2/4 goals)
1/4 - Devils 10-0
2/4 - Devils 14-6
3/4 - Devils 20-12
Crowd - 9,928 at Fenton Road Grounds, Elderslie

The Jets hosted the Crushers in possibly the match of the round, with the Jets eager to test themselves against the ARL's best side. The results may have shocked even the most optimistic J-Town fan, with Jasperstown being the first side to defeat the Crushers in 1995 and at the same time shatter the notion that Calhournbar would be the first team in history to go 16-0.

"What about that for a win?" hollered Jets coach Harry Taylor. "Perhaps the best win that I've been involved with...this week anyway!"

JASPERSTOWN JETS 18 (Moginie, Branch, Stuart tries, Branch 3/4 goals) beat CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 6 (Fulcher try, Walsh 1/1 goal)
1/4 - Jets 8-6
2/4 - Jets 14-6
3/4 - Jets 14-6
Crowd - 9,811 at Air Arcardia Stadium, Jasperstown

In the final match of the round, the unlucky Hamilton Farmers - with only two wins and a handful of close losses in 1995 - added one more "could have been" to their list with a 22-18 loss to the Colts on the road. The difference was the goalkicking of Farmers skipper Paul Hamilton, who missed two relatively easy shots at goal.

COLART COLTS 22 (T.Bonaparte 2, Lucien, R.Bonaparte tries, Lapierre 3/4 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 18 (Cole 2, Johnstone, Clifton tries, P.Hamilton 2/4 goals)
1/4 - Farmers 4-0
2/4 - Farmers 14-12
3/4 - Colts 18-14
Crowd - 12,390 at Le Parc du Rugby a XIII, Colart

Player of the Round
3 points - Aaron Lapierre (Colart Colts)
2 points - Bradley Branch (Jasperstown Jets)
1 point - Dan Bowman (Saltern Bulldogs)

Updated Standings
Calhournbar Crushers 9-1 (+130)
Saltern Bulldogs 7-1-2 (+104)
Jasperston Jets 5-1-4 (+4)
Colart Colts 5-5 (+6)
Thompson Tigers 4-2-4 (-43)
Elderslie Devils 4-6 (-42)
Hamilton Farmers 2-2-6 (-14)
Palmerston Eagles 1-9 (-147)

Next Week's Fixtures
Thompson Tigers v Elderslie Devils
Saltern Bulldogs v Palmerston Eagles
Jasperstown Jets v Colart Colts
Hamilton Farmers v Calhournbar Crushers

[Rawhide]

Week 10 -May 18

The Thompson Tigers secured an important win and all but eliminated the Elderslie Devils from the 1995 Premiership with a 22-10 victory at Annandale. In a match dominated by penalties and penalty goals, 'that man Izulde' scored the match-sealing try. The Tigers fans stormed the field after the game, confident that their tilt towards a maiden Top Four spot is still on track.

THOMPSON TIGERS 22 (King, Graham, Izulde tries, Izulde 5/9 goals) beat ELDERSLIE DEVILS 10 (Grice, Royston tries, Smith 1/3 goals)
1/4 - Devils 6-0
2/4 - Tigers 10-6
3/4 - Tigers 16-10
Crowd - 5,628 at Annandale

The Saltern Bulldogs threw away a 18-6 lead to let the battling Palmerston Eagles share the competition points in a spiteful match played at Williams Stadium. The Dog Pound, the crew of loyal Saltern supporters based in the southern end of the stadium, roundly booed the Bulldogs off the field, given that they were expecting a far more comprehensive performance from their side. "We were completely rubbish today, and we frankly expect better from our boys," commented Mary Contrary, one of the many thousands of supporters who gave their team the raspberry off the field.

SALTERN BULLDOGS 18 (Woodman 2, O'Connor tries, Harman 3/4 goals) drew with PALMERSTON EAGLES 18 (Grossman, Rayner, Horn tries, Flinders 3/5 goals)
1/4 - Eagles 6-0
2/4 - Bulldogs 12-6
3/4 - Bulldogs 18-12
Crowd - 13,299 at Williams Stadium, Saltern

Third played fourth at the Air Arcardia Stadium, and the Jasperstown Jets were quickly and abruptly deflated by the Colart Colts, who shut out the Jets 24-0 to further seal their spot in the Top Four. The match was all about Colts captain Aaron Lapierre, who enjoyed quite a day out - scoring every point in the match and becoming the first player to score all of this team's points in a winning effort this season. With other results going against them, the Jets exited the top four.

COLART COLTS 24 (Lapierre 4 tries, Lapierre 4/5 goals) beat JASPERSTOWN JETS 0
1/4 - Colts 14-0
2/4 - Colts 14-0
3/4 - Colts 14-0
Crowd - 8,929 at Air Arcardia Stadium, Jasperstown

The Calhournbar Crushers were something off a loss for the first time in 1995 and therefore there was a bit more interest than usual shown in their clash against the Spud Farmers at Hamilton. With Hamilton holding a slender lead at halftime, the scribes in the press box were sharpening their pens in prepartion for another scathing review of an inept Crushers side - however the second half proved them all wrong, with the Calhournbar side returning to form with a 26-16 win.

After the game, Hamilton coach Travis Baker confirmed he would not be coaching the Farmers in 1996, having agreed to a buy-out of his contract with Hamilton club officials.

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 26 (King, Lang, Fulcher, Bruce tries, Walsh 5/6 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 16 (Cannon, O'Donnell, Stewart tries, P.Hamilton 2/4 goals)
1/4 - Tied 6-6
2/4 - Farmers 12-8
3/4 - Crushers 22-16
Crowd - 11,193 at Hamilton Stadium, Hamilton

Player of the Round
3 points - Aaron Lapierre (Colart Colts)
2 points - Izulde (Thompson Tigers)
1 point - Michael Walsh (Calhournbar Crushers)

Updated Standings
Calhournbar Crushers 10-1 (+140)
Saltern Bulldogs 7-2-2 (+104)
Colart Colts 6-5 (+30)
Thompson Tigers 5-2-4 (-31)
Jasperstown Jets 5-1-5 (-20)
Elderslie Devils 4-7 (-54)
Hamilton Farmers 2-2-7 (-24)
Palmerston Eagles 1-1-9 (-147)

Next Week's Fixtures
Colart Colts v Elderslie Devils
Calhournbar Crushers v Palmerston Eagles
Jasperstown Jets v Thompson Tigers
Hamilton Farmers v Saltern Bulldogs

[Rawhide]

Expansion On The Table?
Race to succeed Stephenson heats up

CALHOURNBAR - It is one of the most coveted positions in all of Arcardia, and arguably the most important - even more important than the Prime Ministership.

That may explain why Sports Minister Catherine Ryan is announcing her intention to stand for the position of ARL President once the founding president of Arcardian League steps down in January 1996.

Ryan has issued the following manifesto to the eight club administrators pledging what she would like to see accomplished in the first two years of her presidency:

• Expansion of the ARL Premiership to a maximum of ten teams.
• Abolition of mid-week Wednesday night fixtures, replaced by "Friday Night Football" feature matches.
• Limited player draft for teams who miss the Top Four each season.
• Hosting rights for the McCartney Cup final venue put up for auction (at present, the winner of the first vs second match in the Final Four hosts the final)
• Increased government spending to upgrade the standard of stadiums in Arcardia, particuarly in Colart, Elderslie, Jasperstown and the Thompson region.

Ryan is at present the only confirmed candidate in the race to succeed Stephenson, although there are persistent rumours that Tommy Tanks may put his hat in the ring and nominate, although it is doubtful whether he has any support, even from his former employers in the Colts.

[Rawhide]

Week 11 - June 1

They may be just about eliminated for 1995, but try telling that to the Elderslie Devils. They shocked and subdued a normally rowdy Colts home crowd to lead 16-0 at the long break, before holding off a spirited comeback from Colart. Amazing, Aaron Lapierre continued his point-scoring streak, this time scoring every one of his team's sixteen points in a four point loss.

"Some people may say that our window of opportunity is closing," commented co-coach Travis Kitchener. "Well, to us it's still ajar. And while it's ajar, we're going to try and squeeze in there."

ELDERSLIE DEVILS 20 (Royston 2, Grice, Porter tries, Porter 2/4 goals) beat COLART COLTS 16 (Lapierre 3 tries, Lapierre 2/3 goals)
1/4 - Devils 4-0
2/4 - Devils 16-0
3/4 - Devils 20-16
Crowd - 11,392 at Le Parc de Rugby a XIII, Colart

In one of the most amazing upsets of the season, the Palmerston Eagles travelled to the home ground of the defending McCartney Cup champions and taught them a lesson in how to play the game of rugby league, winning 36-16 in a match that Kevin Jackson described as "a sledgehammer to the back of the head. That's a wake-up call for everybody in this club. You can't turn up to the ground and expect an easy ride in this competition. I think that this result has proven that the competition is still ride open."

Pat Bowman couldn't hide the grin off his face, commenting that "if last place can wallop the champions by twenty points, then it's a pretty good competition".

PALMERSTON EAGLES 36 (Lousick 2, Grossman, Hogg, Horn, Cross, Kelly tries, Flinders 4/7 goals) beat CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 16 (Michel, Wellington, Bruce tries, Wellington 2/3 goals)
1/4 - Eagles 8-4
2/4 - Eagles 8-4
3/4 - Eagles 30-10
Crowd - 20,099 at National Stadium, Calhournbar

Only the foolhardy would be game to offer a prediction for the Jets/Tigers match-up at Air Arcardia Stadium, with both teams in erratic form in recent weeks. With the Colts seemingly hitting their straps at this stage of the season, it seemed certain that whoever won this match would be in the box seat to claim the fourth spot on the ladder. With the capacity of the ground temporarily increased due to interest, the largest Jasperstown crowd of 1995 saw their local lads turn in a thoroughly professional performance and win 24-12.

JASPERSTOWN JETS 24 (Branch, Gold, Stuart, Franklin tries, Stuart 4/4 goals) beat THOMPSON TIGERS 12 (Graham, Izulde tries, Saunders 2/2 goals)
1/4 - Jets 12-0
2/4 - Jets 18-6
3/4 - Jets 24-6
Crowd - 11,209 at Air Arcardia Stadium, Jasperstown

With the Hamilton Farmers seemingly out of the race for 1995, they were little contest for the Saltern Bulldogs, who had a point to prove to their fans after the debacle of last week (which, admittedly, did look a lot better now that the Eagles went on to beat Calhournbar).

SALTERN BULLDOGS 36 (Harman 2, McDonald, Bowman, Ingham, Pont tries, Harman 6/6 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 12 (Shinch, D.Hamilton tries, P.Hamilton 2/2 goals)
1/4 - Bulldogs 6-0
2/4 - Bulldogs 24-0
3/4 - Bulldogs 30-6
Crowd - 8,293 at Hamilton Stadium, Hamilton

Player of the Round
3 points - Marty Lousick (Palmerston Eagles)
2 points - Harry Harman (Saltern Bulldogs)
1 point - Sam Michaels (Palmerston Eagles)

Updated Standings (4 weeks remaining in season)
Calhournbar Crushers 10-2 (+120)
Saltern Bulldogs 8-2-2 (+128)
Jasperstown Jets 6-1-5 (-8)
Colart Colts 6-6 (+26)
Thompson Tigers 5-2-5 (-43)
Elderslie Devils 5-7 (-50)
Hamilton Farmers 2-2-8 (-48)
Palmerston Eagles 2-1-9 (-127)

Next Week's Games
Elderslie Devils v Calhournbar Crushers
Palmerston Eagles v Jasperstown Jets
Thompson Tigers v Hamilton Farmers
Saltern Bulldogs v Colart Colts

[Rawhide]

Week 12 - June 8

With not long until the McCartney Cup playoffs began, Elderslie seemingly bowed out of the race with an insipid 16-38 loss to the Calhournbar Crushers at Fenton Road. Not that Kevin Jackson minded. "We really needed that result after last week's debacle," he said. "We've been in cruise control for much of the season and it was good to see the players challenged during the week. I'd be happy if we don't lose another game this year though," he added.

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 38 (Wellington 3, Lang 3 tires, Wellington 7/7 goals) beat ELDERSLIE DEVILS 16 (Grice, Porter, French tries, Porter 2/3 goals)
1/4 - Devils 6-0
2/4 - Crushers 20-6
3/4 - Crushers 32-6
Crowd - 8,873 at Fenton Road Grounds, Elderslie

Unbeaten in the past two weeks, Palmerston put their record on the time against the streaky Jasperstown Jets. A sell-out crowd at Palmerston Park showed their appreciation to Pat Bowman and the Eagles still busting their guts out under trying circumstances. There was seemingly little in the Eagles' tank however, as the Jets quickly raced up a cricket score to further solidify their position in the Top Four. "We seem to be hitting our straps at exactly the right time of the season," said coach Harry Taylor. "There's no shame in beating up on poor old Palmerston - after all, Calhournbar and Saltern couldn't beat them." David Stuart enjoyed a day out, scoring 3 tries, 7 goals and 26 points.

JASPERSTOWN JETS 54 (Stuart 3, Franklin 2, Anderson, Black, Lambton, Wild, Moginie tries, Stuart 7/10 goals) beat PALMERSTON EAGLES 6 (Lousick try, Lousick 1/1 goal)
1/4 - Jets 4-0
2/4 - Jets 22-6
3/4 - Jets 44-6
Crowd - 11,827 at Palmerston Park, Palmerston

The Tigers hosted the Farmers at Annandale and further strengthen their claims for a Top Four spot with a 30-16 win against a disinterested Hamilton side which had clearly given up for 1995. Soon after the game, Travis Baker announced he was stepping down with immediate effect, and captain Paul Hamilton was appointed as interim coach. Baker had accumulated a 32% winning record in his two seasons at the Farmers.

THOMPSON TIGERS 30 (Saunders 2, King 2, McKean tries, Saunders 5/5 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 16 (Clifton, Cole, P.Hamilton tries, P.Hamilton 2/3 goals)
1/4 - No Score
2/4 - Tigers 18-4
3/4 - Tigers 24-10
Crowd - 5,903 at Annandale

With the Tigers winning, the Saltern-Colart took on more significance, if that was possible. Traditionally always an entertaining and sometimes spiteful match, Colart needed a win in order to leap back into the Top Four, given that Jasperstown and Thompson had temporarily moved ahead of Les Chevaux. With Aaron Lapierre moving his team around the field like a conductor leads an orchestra, the Colts dominated possession and punished the Bulldogs defenders with a dominant win.

"I think we are honestly the team to beat," remarked coach Marcel Courdouy, whose early season troubles seemed to be well in the rear-vision mirror. "Our defense is what will win us the McCartney Cup." Despite the crushing loss to their rivals, Saltern could take heart from the performance of 17 year-old Billy Ringrose, who scored two tries in his very first ARL game.

COLART COLTS 42 (Lapierre 3, Winston, D.Bonaparte, Freier, Scuilie, Lapierre 7/8 goals) beat SALTERN BULLDOGS 18 (Ringrose 2, Wilson tries, Harman 3/4 goals)
1/4 - Tied 2-2
2/4 - Colts 14-8
3/4 - Colts 32-14
Crowd - 19,211 at Williams Stadium, Saltern

Player of the Round
3 points - Ben Wellington (Calhournbar Crushers)
2 points - Aaron Lapierre (Colart Colts)
1 point - David Stuart (Jasperstown Jets)

Updated Standings
x - Calhournbar Crushers 11-2 (+142)
Saltern Bulldogs 8-2-3 (+104)
Jasperstown Jets 7-1-5 (+40)
Colart Colts 7-6 (+50)
Thompson Tigers 6-2-5 (-29)
Elderslie Devils 5-8 (-72)
e - Hamilton Farmers 2-2-9 (-62)
e - Palmerston Eagles 2-1-10 (-175)

x - Sealed position within the 1995 Top Four
e - Mathematically out of contention for the 1995 Top Four

Next Week's Fixtures
Jasperstown Jets v Elderslie Devils
Hamilton Farmers v Palmerston Eagles
Colart Colts v Thompson Tigers
Calhournbar Crushers v Saltern Bulldogs

[Rawhide]

Week 13 - June 15

Having made the Top Four just once in the past eight seasons, Elderslie were still mathematically in contention for a shot at the McCartney Cup. Thus it was that they blew the Jasperstown Jets off the park in the first half, leading 18-6. J-Town knew a bit about mathematics themselves and proceeded to score nearly at will, leading 26-22 with under twenty minutes remaining. The Devils went back to the lead with ten minutes to go and extended their lead with a penalty shot. In the final minute, though, the Jets travelled the length of the field and scored a wonderful try through centre Andrew Gold which sent the crowd at Air Arcardia Stadium, especially when David Stuart kicked the winning conversion after the final siren. The Devils equalled the highest losing score in ARL history.

JASPERSTOWN JETS 32 (Stuart 2, Franklin, Anderson, Gold tries, Stuart 6/6 goals) beat ELDERSLIE DEVILS 30 (Grice 2, Green 2, Ford tries, Flinders 5/7 goals)
1/4 - Tied 6-6
2/4 - Devils 18-6
3/4 - Jets 24-22
Crowd - 11,290 at Air Arcardia Stadium, Jasperstown

Hamilton hosted Palmerston in a match which would probably decide who would finish last in the 1995 Premiership. New coach Paul Hamilton excused himself from the playing side and saw the Eagles take a slender lead at halftime. The second half was little better as far as the Spuds were concerned, and Eagles winger Rick Grossman lifted Palmerston off the bottom of the table with the only try of the second half. After going 3-23 since the start of the 1994 season, Palmerston had suddenly gone 2-1-1 in their last four games.

PALMERSTON EAGLES 16 (Horn, Grossman tries, Flinders 4/7 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 8 (Clifton try, Cannon 2/4 goals)
1/4 - Farmers 6-0
2/4 - Eagles 8-6
3/4 - Eagles 10-8
Crowd - 7,291 at Hamilton Stadium, Hamilton

The attention of pundits then shifted to Le Parc in Colts Country where the Thompson Tigers slammed head on into Marcel Courdouy's "Wall of Steel", as he dubbed his newly inspired defense. With Colart leading 32-0 at halftime, the Tigers fans began to sadly shift out of the stadium, seeing their team of watching Thompson play in the Top Four moving out of reach. Only one more try was added in the second half, but Il était assez for the Colart fans.

COLART COLTS 38 (Lapierre 3, D.Bonaparte, Scuilie, du Pont tries, Lapierre 7/7 goals) defeated THOMPSON TIGERS 0
1/4 - Colts 14-0
2/4 - Colts 32-0
3/4 - Colts 38-0
Crowd - 14,392 at Le Parc Du Rugby a XIII, Colart

First took on second in what some experts were predicting would be the matchup in this year's McCartney Cup. The Crushers withstood an early Bulldogs onslaught to close out victory and home field advantage throughout the Top Four series. Ben Wellington made a season first by kicking two field goals (worth one point) during the match, to cushion out the final victory margin. "Just getting ready for the Top Four," he sheepishly admitted. "You never know when it might be needed."

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 30 (Lousick, Finch, Bruce, Hooper, Gilmore tries, Walsh 4/7 goals, Wellington 2 field goals) beat SALTERN BULLDOGS 12 (McDonald, Ringrose tries, Harman 2/2 goals)
1/4 - Crushers 10-6
2/4 - Crushers 23-12
3/4 - Crushers 29-12
Crowd - 22,220 at National Stadium, Calhournbar

Player of the Round
3 points - David Gilmore (Calhournbar Crushers)
2 points - David Stuart (Jasperstown Jets)
1 point - Aaron Lapierre (Colart Colts)

Updated Standings
x - Calhournbar Crushers 12-2 (+160)
Saltern Bulldogs 8-2-4 (+86)
Jasperstown Jets 8-1-5 (+42)
Colart Colts 8-6 (+88)
Thompson Tigers 6-2-6 (-67)
e - Elderslie Devils 5-9 (-74)
e - Palmerston Eagles 3-1-10 (-167)
e - Hamilton Farmers 2-2-10 (-70)

Next Week's Fixtures
Elderslie Devils v Hamilton Farmers
Palmerston Eagles v Colart Colts
Thompson Tigers v Calhournbar Crushers (must-win for Izulde's team)
Saltern Bulldogs v Jasperstown Jets (Jets move into second with a win)

[Rawhide]

The internet froze when I was sending off the last round of matches, so here we go again - but without the detail of scorers this time...which is a shame....

Week 14 Fixtures
Elderslie Devils 16 lost to Hamilton Farmers 20
Palmerston Eagles 12 lost to Colart Colts 24
Thompson Tigers 22 lost to Calhournbar Crushers 48
Saltern Bulldogs 4 lost to Jasperstown Jets 36

Notes
That's all from Izulde's team in 1995, with the Crushers putting eight tries past the Tigers. The top four has been decided - but in what order?
Saltern's late season collapse continues. They have won just two of their last nine games.

Player of the Week
3 points - Samuel Hooper (Calhournbar)
2 points - Aaron Lapierre (Colart)
1 point - David Stuart (Jasperstown)

Table
Calhournbar Crushers 13-2 (+186)
Jasperstown Jets 9-1-5 (+74)
Colart Colts 9-6 (+100)
Saltern Bulldogs 8-2-5 (+54)
Thompson Tigers 6-2-7 (-93)
Elderslie Devils 5-10 (-78)
Hamilton Farmers 3-2-10 (-66)
Palmerston Eagles 3-1-11 (-179)

Final Week of Fixtures
Palmerston Eagles v Elderslie Devils
Saltern Bulldogs v Thompson Tigers
Calhournbar Crushers v Colart Colts
Hamilton Farmers v Jasperstown Jets

[Rawhide]

Despite all of the Top Four positions being known before the start of the round, there was still a great deal of interest in most of the games. That didn't really apply to the Palmerston v Elderslie match, although the Eagles were hoping to avoid winning their second wooden spoon in as many years. Unfortunately Elderslie were in no mood to accommmodate their wishes and ran out 20-10 winners.

ELDERSLIE DEVILS 20 (Jackson 2, Christensen, Royston, Goff tries, Smith 2/5 goals) beat PALMERSTON EAGLES 10 (Flinders, Grossman tries, Flinders 1/2 goals)
1/4 - Devils 8-4
2/4 - Devils 16-10
3/4 - Devils 20-10
Crowd - 8,293 at Palmerston Park, Palmerston

Saltern took on the Thompson Tigers at the Williams Stadium, desperate to find some kind of form before the beginning of the Top Four. They still harboured a hope of perhaps making it back into second position, but the early signs were not good - Thompson led 14-6 before Saltern levelled the score in the shadows of halftime. The Bulldogs then ran ragged in the second half, scoring three unanswered tries to temporarily move into second spot. A win by either Colart or Jasperstown would knock them back into the knockout game in the Top Four, however.

SALTERN BULLDOGS 36 (Ingham, Harman, Bowman, O'Connor, C.Holdsworth tries, Harman 8/8 goals) beat THOMPSON TIGERS 14 (Saunders, McKean, Jackson tries, Saunders 1/3 goals)
1/4 - Tigers 10-6
2/4 - Tied 14-14
3/4 - Bulldogs 30-14
Crowd - 17,291 at Williams Stadium, Saltern

Calhournbar geared up for the McCartney Cup playoffs with a clinical dismantling of Marcel Courdouy's Wall of Steel, posting eight tries but curiously failing to convert a single one of them. That didn't stop Courdouy claiming a moral victory - "They couldn't go through us, they had to go around us!"

"I hope we get to play them again the playoffs," remarked Kevin Jackson when told of Courdouy's remarks. "It would be a great sensation to beat them once again."

CALHOURNBAR CRUSHERS 32 (Wellington 3, Michel, Finch, King, Lousick, Bruce tries, Hooper 0/8 goals) beat COLART COLTS 18 (Lapierre 2, T.Bonaparte tries, Lapierre 3/3 goals)
1/4 - Colts 6-4
2/4 - Crushers 8-6
3/4 - Crushers 20-12
Crowd - 23,192 at National Stadium, Calhournbar

The final match of the regular season was played out in the potato capital of Arcardia, the city of Hamilton, with the Farmers hosting the high-flying Jets. Jasperstown needed a win to seal second spot and a final against Calhournbar; a loss would probably see them play Colart in a knockout game. The match was never really in doubt, with the Farmers failing to even score a try in what has been a fairly forgettable season for them. The Jets, by contrast, obtained their highest ever position on the table - second - and would take on Calhournbar in the finals next week.

JASPERSTOWN JETS 22 (Stuart 2, Wild, Black tries, Stuart 3/5 goals) beat HAMILTON FARMERS 2 (P.Hamilton 1/1 goal)
1/4 - Tied 2-2
2/4 - Jets 12-2
3/4 - Jets 12-2
Crowd - 6,291 at Hamilton Stadium, Hamilton

Player of the Round
3 points - David Stuart (Jasperstown Jets)
2 points - Ben Wellington (Calhournbar Crushers)
1 point - Harry Harman (Saltern Bulldogs)

Final Competition Table - 1995 Season
Calhournbar Crushers 14-2 (+200)
Jasperstown Jets 10-1-5 (+94)
Saltern Bulldogs 9-2-5 (+76)
Colart Colts 9-7 (+86)
Thompson Tigers 6-2-8 (-115)
Elderslie Devils 6-10 (-68)
Hamilton Farmers 3-2-11 (-86)
Palmerston Eagles 3-1-12 (-189)

McCartney Cup Playoff Schedule
Match A - Calhournbar Crushers (1) v Jasperstown Jets (2)
Match B - Saltern Bulldogs (3) v Colart Colts (4)
Match C - Loser Match A v Winner Match B
McCartney Cup XIII - Winner Match A v Winner Match C

[Rawhide]

Aaron Lapierre (Colart Colts)

1995 has been a mixed season for the Colts halfback, who became the captain of his hometown team for the first time and led them to the inaugural John R. Stephenson Challenge Cup. A slow start to the season by the Colts, punctuated with a rumoured dressing room incident with coach Michel Courdouy, saw Colart in real danger of missing the Top Four for the first time since 1984. However, in a string of masterful displays, the Colts #7 got the show back on the road, including two games where Lapierre scored all of his side's points.

Lapierre was named player of the week in three of the fifteen weeks, and colated altogether 15 points to be named the 1995 ARL Player of the Year, slightly ahead of Calhournbar Crushers fullback Ben Wellington.

Player of the Year Final Standings
15 - Aaron Lapierre (Colart Colts)
13 - Ben Wellington (Calhournbar Crushers)
9 - David Gilmore (Calhournbar Crushers)
9 - Charlie Bartlet (Calhournbar Crushers)
7 - David Stuart (Jasperstown Jets)

Highest Point Scorers for each club
Crushers - Ben Wellington
Jets - David Stuart
Bulldogs - Harry Harman
Colts - Aaron Lapierre
Tigers - Izulde
Devils - Rob Jackson
Farmers - NA (no players were nominated in awards)
Eagles - Marty Lousick

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Golden Boot
Top Goal Kickers

62 - Aaron Lapierre (Colart Colts)
56 - Harry Harman (Saltern Bulldogs)
47 - Ben Wellington (Calhournbar Crushers)

Silver Ball
Top Try Scorers

25 - Aaron Lapierre (Colart Colts)
23 - Ben Wellington (Calhournbar Crushers)
17 - Izulde (Thompson Tigers)

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Previous Top Four History between these clubs:
1991 Preliminary Final - Calhournbar d. Jasperstown
1992 Preliminary Final - Jasperstown d. Calhournbar
1993 Preliminary Final - Jasperstown d. Calhournbar

Matches played between these clubs in 1995:
Challenge Cup - Jasperstown 18 beat Calhournbar 12
Week 2 - Calhournbar 24 beat Jasperstown 4
Week 9 - Jasperstown 18 beat Calhournbar 6

1995 Qualifying Final - National Stadium (crowd - 24,319)
6th min - Jasperstown 6-0 (Jim Moginie try, David Stuart goal)
27th min - Tied 6-6 (Joel Fulcher try, Michael Walsh goal)
34th min - Jasperstown 12-6 (Jim Moginie try, David Stuart goal)
51st min - Jasperstown 18-6 (David Stuart try, goal)
52nd min - Jasperstown 19-6 (David Stuart field goal)
62nd min - Jasperstown 19-12 (David Gilmore try, Michael Walsh goal)
76th min - Jasperstown 25-12 (Ben Black try, David Stuart goal)

JASPERSTOWN JETS QUALIFY FOR McCARTNEY CUP XIII
They will host the game for the first time in club history.
Calhournbar will host the winner of Saltern v Colart next week in the Preliminary final.

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Previous Top Four History between these clubs:
1986 Elimination Final - Colart d. Saltern
Considering the bad blood between these teams, surprisingly this is just the second time they meet in the Top Four.

Matches Played Between These Clubs in 1995:
Challenge Cup - Colart 30 beat Saltern 18
Week 5 - Colart 32 beat Saltern 16
Week 12 - Colart 42 beat Saltern 18

1995 Elimination Final - Williams Stadium (crowd - 20,192)
3rd min - Saltern 2-0 (Harry Harman penalty goal)
11th min - Colart 6-2 (Roberte Bonaparte try, Aaron Lapierre goal)
12th min - Saltern 8-6 (Jack Hurst try, Harry Harman goal)
22nd min - Saltern 12-6 (Cade Holdsworth try, failed attempt at conversion)
30th min - Tied 12-12 (Garcon Courdouy try, Aaron Lapierre goal)
37th min - Colart 18-12 (Aaron Lapierre try, goal)
40th min - Colart 24-12 (Aaron Lapierre try, goal)
47th min - Colart 30-12 (Aaron Lapierre try, goal)
64th min - Colart 36-12 (Aaron Lapierre try, goal)
71st min - Colart 42-12 (Roberte Bonaparte try, Aaron Lapierre goal)
80th min - Colart 48-12 (Jean Scuilie try, Aaron Lapierre goal)

COLART COLTS PROGRESS TO THE PRELIMINARY FINAL
Saltern Bulldogs are eliminated for 1995.