I want to come back out of my shell

[Schmidty]

Hi everybody. I really don't want to post this, but I'm forcing myself to do so.

I've kind of disappeared over the past few years, not just from FOFC, but pretty much everywhere. Lot's of things have contributed to this, but I know isolating myself so much isn't healthy. It's become too comfortable to disappear into my little world, taking no risks, making no connections, and having no one to be obligated or accountable to. I feel like I'm fading away. I'm just a ghost.

I'm so socially rusty that I've taken 15 minutes so far on this post. I have no idea what to say. Everything I want to say just always feels so awkward. Heck, I try to post on Facebook now and again, but the vast majority of the time I delete whatever inane, harmless thought I make.

I really don't know exactly what I'm trying to accomplish with this other than to make myself proclaim that I'm still here.

I hope I don't delete this post!!

[Arles]

Well, welcome back. And if being socially rusty and awkward was a banish-able crime on this forum, it would probably be a wasteland

Glad to see you are trying to get back into the groove and this forum is a better place with you involved.

[Neuqua]

Posting so that you can't delete.

DON'T MAKE ME LOSE POSTS!

<3

[Kodos]

Just rip on Michigan or something. It's easy!

[CleBrownsfan]

+1 to what Arles said.

[Schmidty]

Thanks guys. I'd really like to bring back annoying 2003 Schmidty, but letting this post live is a nice start!!

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Bitch about MBBF posts. It's a professional sport around here.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Mizzou B-ball fan

Bitch about MBBF posts. It's a professional sport around here.

And trolling me usually goes over pretty well.

Between those two easy topics, hell, can Schmidty trolla posting be far away?

[DaddyTorgo]

This board has really been missing Hulk posts.

Just saying...

[JPhillips]

Don't be so hard on yourself. Life is difficult. Do your best and take what comes.

Welcome back.

[Chief Rum]

Welcome back, Schmidty!

Don't worry about being awkward. The people who fixate on the awkward are only looking skin deep, and they're not worth your attention. The ones who look deeper won't care about the awkwardness.

And, like most things, that feeling of anxiety is mostly in our heads anyway and is not clear to anyone else.

[Butter]

Originally Posted by JPhillips

Don't be so hard on yourself. Life is difficult. Do your best and take what comes.

Welcome back.

Yeah, this. Don't worry about being inane or awkward or whatever. You can only be you, not others' expectations of what you should be.

I spent years worrying about being awkward and judged as a young man. Now, I couldn't really give a fuck. Just live, man.

[jeff061]

Seriously, your first post is my world. I feel your awkwardness. You write something, you wonder if anyone will care or if they will judge you, you read it again, and again and at some point they just look like awkward jumbled words. Then you eventually let it fly(worrying no one will reply) or delete it all together. I get that.

I've lucked out here and there to find some outlets that work(at least for the time being), but more or less I could easily disappear just like you described if I let myself.

My GF(one of those outlets I lucked into), is trying to get me on meds, for what she describes as a combo of massive anxiety and ADHD.

Anyways, you are not alone.

[JAG]

Unvote Schmidty

He's here, I'll willing to let him make his case.

[timmae]

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

Yeah, this. Don't worry about being inane or awkward or whatever. You can only be you, not others' expectations of what you should be.

I spent years worrying about being awkward and judged as a young man. Now, I couldn't really give a fuck. Just live, man.

Awkward is totally underestimated. We need more people who don't toe the line... bring it on buddy... "welcome to the land of misfit toys!"

[Eaglesfan27]

Welcome back!

[Kodos]

I remember that some time after my turn on "Face The Board," I re-read the thread and wished that I'd never agreed to do it. Relax. We're all self-doubting idiots for the most part. Actually, I'd still like to have that thread deleted.

[DaddyTorgo]

I do miss me some FTB. Maybe we need to bring that shit back!

[Kodos]

I knew this would send some folks to go read the thread. DAMMIT!

[Buccaneer]

Welcome back. I can relate about FB, such an inane wasteland. There was nothing I could possibly share that would make that worthwhile, thus have avoided it for years. As much as I have cut back on my postings here (ie, no more internet persona), this is really the only place where there are discussions on several things that I like (games, movies, sports, my brother's intellectual postings, music). Good advice is not to be somebody you are not or not be an alter ego.

[flere-imsaho]

Originally Posted by Kodos

I knew this would send some folks to go read the thread. DAMMIT!

I can't believe that was 6 years ago. Oy!

[Lathum]

Didn't realize you were gone.

Welcome back!

[Izulde]

Welcome back however much you feel like being back.

I know *exactly* the ghostly feeling you're going through... and the panic attacks it causes, compounded with yet more crippling anxiety as you feel more and more detached from everything.

It's one of the reasons I've gotten so hooked on Magic, truly hooked, for the first time in years. It's given me, if not exactly friends, at least social connections that keep me from being isolated and feeling like I'm fading away (which is a very accurate descriptor).

Hope you're able to find your own connections, however tenuous, and gradually start re-finding your place in the world/society.

[NobodyHere]

Tear down the Wall Schmidty

[stevew]

Turn down for what?!??!

[DanGarion]

Who are you?

[INDalltheway]

Schmidty! The RWBL lives on forever, my friend.

[CarterNMA]

To pick up on what NobodyHere said, yes, it may sound dopey but listen to Pink Floyd's "The Wall." Then watch the movie. Then read the origin story. You'll feel a connection for sure.

[timmae]

Originally Posted by CarterNMA

To pick up on what NobodyHere said, yes, it may sound dopey but listen to Pink Floyd's "The Wall." Then watch the movie. Then read the origin story. You'll feel a connection for sure.

LSD not optional I assume

[britrock88]

Originally Posted by jeff061

My GF(one of those outlets I lucked into), is trying to get me on meds, for what she describes as a combo of massive anxiety and ADHD.

Anyways, you are not alone.

Not that you need a legion of armchair shrinks, but it might be worth thinking about whether there is some deep-seated social anxiety at play here. That said, great to see you around, as always! Specifically...

Originally Posted by JAG

Unvote Schmidty

He's here, I'll willing to let him make his case.

This!

[saldana]

Good to hear from you again schmidty!

[Marc Vaughan]

Good to see you mate

[Radii]

Originally Posted by jeff061

My GF(one of those outlets I lucked into), is trying to get me on meds, for what she describes as a combo of massive anxiety and ADHD.

Anyways, you are not alone.

From the brief descriptions here it sounds like I'm not as "bad off" as others but the social anxiety tag fits me as well, big time. I started seeing a psychologist a few years ago to help deal with the stuff I was seeing with my dad when he was so sick, but I have continued to go 2-3 times a month with most of the conversation involving things that would revolve around social anxiety. Its helped a lot. I'm never going to be a social butterfly but I've only had one panic attack in an uncomfortable social setting this year, and have put myself out there in a couple ways that I wouldn't have in the past (joining a gym, and actually using it, is a massive step for me that would have been impossible 2 years ago). We've talked about medicine for me, but only in occasions where I know I'm going to have to be in an uncomfortable situation that might trigger a panic attack, I haven't taken that step yet though.

My insurance covers psych visits same as specialist copay, even if you're not looking for solutions involving medicine, it may really be worth talking out some things and seeing how you feel doing that.

Anyway, enough of that, my point is also that ya'll aren't alone. Good to see you Schmidty!

[EagleFan]

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

Mr. Schmidty, tear down this wall.

Fixed it for ya...

[NobodyHere]

[Toddzilla]

Originally Posted by Schmidty

Thanks guys. I'd really like to bring back annoying 2003 Schmidty

Mission accomplished



Good to hear from you again, old friend.

[Dr. Sak]

Glad to hear you are doing better.

I assume the Hanshin Tigers are still tanking.

[sterlingice]

I demand a pet peeve!

SI

[terpkristin]

I agree with SI!

Welcome back, Schmidty!

/tk

[Dodgerchick]

SCHMIDTY!!!!!!

Yay, welcome back!! Every time I see a post with your name on it, it puts a smile on my face. It really does! I miss seeing you around here

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Welcome back, Schmidty!

Don't worry about being awkward. The people who fixate on the awkward are only looking skin deep, and they're not worth your attention. The ones who look deeper won't care about the awkwardness.

And, like most things, that feeling of anxiety is mostly in our heads anyway and is not clear to anyone else.

What Chief said is so perfect. "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." That's the truth!

I will vote for you though.

VOTE SCHMITY

to make more apperances on the board

Hang tight my friend. Much love <3

[Schmidty]

Hey there friends!! I avoided this thread for a bit, but am here making myself say thanks and that I am very sad tonight!! Woooo!!!!

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Schmidty

Hey there friends!! I avoided this thread for a bit, but am here making myself say thanks and that I am very sad tonight!! Woooo!!!!

You're welcome.

And you just turn that frown upside down mister.

Like this

[timmae]

I was having a rough day yesterday also... then I went to Dee Snider's Rock 'n' Roll Christmas Tale. All better..

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

You're welcome.

And you just turn that frown upside down mister.

Like this

Damnit - something else we agree on

[jeff061]

Originally Posted by timmae

I was having a rough day yesterday also... then I went to Dee Snider's Rock 'n' Roll Christmas Tale. All better..

Haha, GF went to that show and she said it was fantastic.

[Schmidty]

Coming up on the worst day of my life. 12/25/94 - 12/25/14.

I hope and pray I can get through without weirdness.