Thunderdome - Two Men Enter! One Man Leaves!

[fantastic flying froggies]

Louis LeBeau would like to train the lead pipe (just because 'pipe' has a completely different meaning in french... )

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

However, that will play second fiddle to the Maaiiiinnnn Evennnnnt.

Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There vs Fattoe the Dead!

Of course it will. My opponent will be dead about three minutes after the fight starts. Few people have enough appreciation of a great fighter like Little Jeebie Dee to spend their money on such a short time span...

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally Posted by JeeberD

Of course it will. My opponent will be dead about three minutes after the fight starts. Few people have enough appreciation of a great fighter like Little Jeebie Dee to spend their money on such a short time span...

Three....minutes? That's longer than three seconds, right.

Erik doesn't understand how it takes you so long to kill.

[Raven Hawk]

Last call for new entries to the auction block.

[Marmel]

Originally Posted by Raven Hawk

Last call for new entries to the auction block.

What does this mean? I just recently signed up.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Marmel

What does this mean? I just recently signed up.

You're already on the list for the auction block. It means you'll find out which team you fight for tomorrow after the auction.

SI

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

Three....minutes? That's longer than three seconds, right.

Erik doesn't understand how it takes you so long to kill.

You'll find out once I get finished with Mr T and JAGus...

[Raven Hawk]

Result's of Thursday's Auction.

Rank	Reserve	SlaveName	Weapons	Wounds	Styles	House Name	WinningBid	HouseID	Prestige
1	$12,000.00	Daddy Longstroke	Knife	22	None	Pain Unlimited	$16,000.00	4	0
1	$12,000.00	King IV	Warhammer	23	None	House Corax	$16,000.00	1	0
1	$8,000.00	Hakim Warrick	Chains	18	None	Bloodhaus	$8,000.00	3	0

[Vince]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

Three....minutes? That's longer than three seconds, right.

Erik doesn't understand how it takes you so long to kill.

Mucius scoffs at the both of you.

Originally Posted by Raven Hawk

The hapless Real Deal tries to block with his head and is successful! The lead pipe lands squarely between Real Deal's eyes. The force of the blow splits his skull open and splatters brain matter over the first row of the crowd, most of which did remember to put on their souvenir ponchos. Now they have more souvenir's in the form of brain matter and skull fragments!

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Mucius pulls the lead pipe from its cranial chasm and hands it to a young fan in the crowd. Mucius has obliterated The Real Deal and is promoted to Rank 3. Demetrius Cavish slides over to the payment window and collects the purse. He quickly purchases an arm guard for his new favorite fighter. Mucius is uninjured and can fight again at his own discression.

That is about as quick as these matches can go.

[Coffee Warlord]

By the by. I'm officially requesting Thread #2. 18 pages is a smidge long.

[PilotMan]

Not until this thread officially breaks the record for views and posts!

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

Not until this thread officially breaks the record for views and posts!

That's about 200 posts and 1000 views. So, go at it, CW: tons of dolas and reloads all night

SI

[Coffee Warlord]

Today's drinkin' night. I got priorities, man.

[sterlingice]

More important that FOFC? Lightweight.

SI

[PilotMan]

sinner.

[Coffee Warlord]

Guinness > All.

[Raven Hawk]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

By the by. I'm officially requesting Thread #2. 18 pages is a smidge long.

I was originally planning to try to get through two more weeks so that we can get to the offseason. I am currently staying my course.

[Desnudo]

Originally Posted by Raven Hawk

I was originally planning to try to get through two more weeks so that we can get to the offseason. I am currently staying my course.

Does that mean no new taxes?

[Raven Hawk]

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Does that mean no new taxes?

Read my lips no new taxes.

(I'll just increase the existing ones)

[Raven Hawk]

The Black Stallion (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Pilot the Cripple (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)
Weapons: Machete, Longsword, Rapier, Rapier
Analysis: No luck for either of these rookies. Pilot is a crowbar fighter and the Black Stallion is a chainsaw fighter. Look for the match to be a long an bloody one. Plenty of edged weapons = plenty of blood. Oddsmakers are setting this one at 1:1.

No Chance of Surviving (Rank 1, Malice Unchained) vs. Windstorm 1 (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited)
Weapons: Axe, Lead Pipe, Spear, Lead Pipe
Analysis: Both fighters wish they could switch weapons draws with Black Stallion and Pilot, No Chance being versed in rapier and Windstorm being versed in longsword. Unfortunately, they are slaves and they don't get what they wish for. Windstorm is slightly favored due to his experience and his defensive technique. Odds start out at 4:3 in favor of Windstorm.

Hung Lo (Rank 1, House Corax) vs. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola (Rank 3, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Spiked Club, Chains, Rapier, Machete
Analysis: Once again, we have nobody getting lucky on the weapons draw. Mucius is deadly with the spear and Hung Lo prefers the knife. Regardless, Mucius will come off as the heavy favorite. His armor will get in the way of a lot of Hung Lo's attacks. The odds start out at 3:1 in favor of Mucius.

Mr. T (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 4, Malice Unchained)
Weapons: Longsword, Machete, Chains, Warhammer
Analysis: Finally! We have a worthy match. Both fighters get "lucky" in this match. Little Jeebie Dee finds his longsword readily available and Mr. T finds his chains in the ring. Jeebie Dee will be favored to win the fight, but Mr. T could surprise Little Jeebie Dee. The first person to make a mistake, will find it to be a deadly mistake. Oddsmakers cautiously set this one at 2:1, but the longshot betters are putting down some money on Mr. T.

Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) (Rank 3, Malice Unchained) vs. Fattoe the Smashifier (Rank 4, Pain Unlimited)
Weapons: Spear, Knife, Spear, Crowbar
Analysis: This should be a good fight. Both fighters are pretty experienced, but neither has gotten their weapon in the draw. This one might take a while to sort out, but it will be a fun one to watch. Fattoe gets the oddsmakers' favor as the odds start off at 5:4 in favor of Fattoe.

This week's fights will be run late Wednesday evening, due to a rough work schedule this week. Our next auction will be on friday. Don't forget to start making challenges for week 10, we have an open card right now.

[sterlingice]

Parvus Caesar wants blood in week 10!

SI

[kingfc22]

King IV challenges Pilot the Cripple.

I need every advantage that I can get.

[sterlingice]

Parvus Caesar has found the opponent he wishes to challenge: Mr T will be of Rank 3, provided he can get the upset against Little Jeebie Dee!

SI

[Travis]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

Parvus Caesar has found the opponent he wishes to challenge: Mr T will be of Rank 3, provided he can get the upset against Little Jeebie Dee!

SI

Fool I'm focused right now, don't you start no jibber jabber about next week. I'm fighting for my life and you want to know if I want to play later? Damn, I'd kick your ass now, but I'm saving that for the bitty baby Jeebie Deebie. Don't be so excited for your turn with me, I'll get to you once I take care of my business.

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

Parvus Caesar has found the opponent he wishes to challenge: Mr T will be of Rank 3, provided he can get the upset against Little Jeebie Dee!

SI

Don't waste your time. Mr T will be long since dead...

[sachmo71]

Fattoe ready. Bleeding, but ready.

[Coffee Warlord]

Erik SMASH!

[Raven Hawk]

Week 9 postponed until tomorrow night. I was at work way too late tonight.

[kingfc22]

King IV wants to play. Who wants to be the first victim to die from this family's hands.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by kingfc22

King IV wants to play. Who wants to be the first victim to die from this family's hands.

Since Mr T is on his way to a gruesome death and thus will not be able to accept the challenge he declined, Parvus Caesar will accept your challenge if you dare fight him.

SI

[Desnudo]

Originally Posted by kingfc22

King IV challenges Pilot the Cripple.

I need every advantage that I can get.

Fighting a dead man will be quite an advantage.

[Travis]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

Since Mr T is on his way to a gruesome death and thus will not be able to accept the challenge he declined, Parvus Caesar will accept your challenge if you dare fight him.

SI

You don't know what you're talking about fool. Not only am I winning this fight, I'm about to become the centerpiece of this whole show. I will single handedly pull the House of Four Fingers from the ashes and rebuild it. Through me this house will grow until we dominate everybody.

Until I win my 10th fight, then you will experience the birth of something truly terrifying, that is, if you don't face me before then.

[PilotMan]

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Fighting a dead man will be quite an advantage.

You so wish! My crippled ass, is going to do a little dance on your corpse!


When this is all done, I would be glad to kill you King! Or maybe the next incarnation of Pilot will if he doesn't make it.

It would only make sense since he is your 4th and the Cripple is my 3rd. Someone might as well get a win.

[kingfc22]

Bring on the Cripple!!!

[Raven Hawk]

The Black Stallion (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Pilot the Cripple (Rank 1, Malice Unchained)

Weapons: Machete, Longsword, Rapier, Rapier

The Black Stallion is the first to enter the paddocks and he looks to be in decent shape, but nothing special. The excited onlookers watch for Pilot the Cripple to take the stage, knowing that he can sway the odds if he looks to be in good shape. When Pilot makes it out to the stage, a collective sigh shows the crowds disappointment. Pilot is in worse shape than Black Stallion. The odds go off at 1:1, no different than the morning line. The two men make their ways to their respective corners and the host takes the podium. "BEGIN!" The Black Stallion dashes for the longsword and Pilot goes for one of the rapiers.

The two men make it to their respective weapons uninhibited, grab the weapons and begin circling each other. The circling action has become almost ritual in Thunderdome fights, unless there is one highly contested weapon. Black Stallion attacks first. And throws a crossing shot at Pilot. Pilot was strangely unprepared for the shot and takes a hard shot to his left arm. It's a bleeder! Pilot backs off an collects himself.

Black Stallion moves in for another shot and swings low at Pilot's legs. Still slightly stunned from the previous shot, Pilot can't get the rapier into blocking position in time. However, the blow was slightly off its mark and only creates a small cut on Pilot's leg. Pilot thrusts back, but Black Stallion is too quick and makes the block.

Black Stallion decides that he wants to end the fight quickly and moves in with an aggressive maneuver, swinging the longsword hard overhead. The longsword drops hard, Pilot puts his rapier up for the block, but the aggressive attack pushes straight through the block down towards Pilot's head. The longsword penetrates into Pilot's skull and pops back out as Pilot continues to push up with his rapier.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

In a moment Pilot the Cripple falls over dead, still cling to his rapier with white knuckles. The Black Stallion has won the fight. He is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. Torbjorg struts out to collect the purse showing off quite a bit of bling, having the most successful house this season. The Black Stallion is uninjured and can fight again at his own discretion. Torbjorg offers to teach the Black Stallion a new fighting style.

[Raven Hawk]

No Chance of Surviving (Rank 1, Malice Unchained) vs. Windstorm 1 (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited)

Weapons: Axe, Lead Pipe, Spear, Lead Pipe

No Chance walks out to the paddocks looking pretty buff. He is in good shape. Windstorm 1, however, is looking magnificent. It is obvious the Torbjorg didn't let Windstorm look past this match for future fights. As the windows close, the fight goes off at 3:1 in favor of Windstorm 1. The two men enter the arena and head to their corners. The host takes the podium and makes the familiar call, "BEGIN!" Both men opt for a fan favorite, the lead pipe. Luckily, they each decided to go for different lead pipes.

Both men pick up their weapons eagerly and cautiously begin the circling ritual. No Chance tries to give himself a chance by acting first. He swing low for the legs and amazingly catches Windstorm off guard in his specialize defensive stance. The lead pipe leaves a large welt on on Windstorms leg. Windstorm is not happy.

The object of Windstorm's anger is standing directly in front of him. Windstorm makes a retaliatory strike at No Chance. No Chance attempts to move out of the way, but takes a hard shot to the chest. The air crackles with the sound of shattering ribs as the lead pipe impacts No Chance's midsection. Amazingly, No Chance keeps his wits about him. He returns a shot at Windstorm's head . . .

At the last moment, Windstorm gets his own lead pipe up to block. The resulting collision of lead on lead rings out loudly and causes a few fans to cover their ears. Windstorm attacks again and slams the lead pipe into No Chance's left arm. No Chance just flexes and shrugs off the pain.

Slightly unnerved by No Chance's flexing, Windstorm falls back into his comfortable defensive stance. No Chance swings for the same leg that he hit earlier, which has now turned a strange shade of blackish-blue. Windstorm blocks low, but No Chance changes his motion to swing high. The lead pipe hits Windstorm squarely in the collarbone and shatters it. The pain is so intense that Windstorm drops his weapon.

As Windstorm moves to clutch his shoulder, No Chance brings his vengeance swiftly. It all appears to be moving in slow motion as No Chance returns the lead pipe over his head, then swings again. The lead pipe hits Windstorm squarely in the face, sending bone fragments flying through his brain to the back of his skull. Windstorm falls over dead.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

No Chance of Surviving pays off big for the longshot betters as he wins the match. He is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 2 prestige points. No Chance, however is injured for two weeks, which would be the rest of the season. No Chance does have the choice to fight injured in week 10 if he would like. The Rooster collects the purse and teaches No Chance how to better anticipate his opponents attacks.

[Raven Hawk]

That'll be all for now. I'm getting a little tired. The auction will move back to sometime next week and week 9 will be finished this weekend.

[Desnudo]

The Black Stallion would like to train Normal in preparation for fighting someone with two legs.

[Breeze]

Damn, sucks being dead.

[JeeberD]

This weekend? But I'm not going to be around much this weekend!!!

THE HORROR!

[PilotMan]

My 4th incarnation looks like this:

Pilot the Wretched
Spear

If I do not get purchased by House Corax, I will fight King IV. We both can't go 0-5 can we?

[Raven Hawk]

Hung Lo (Rank 1, House Corax) vs. Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola (Rank 3, Bloodhaus)

Weapons: Spiked Club, Chains, Rapier, Machete

Hung Lo comes out to the paddocks stage looking very svelt today. The crowd approves of his ability to fight a good fight. Mucius on the other hand looks as though he hit the free buffet a little too hard this morning. The odds settle in to 2:1, still in favor of Mucius prior to the fight. Today's guest host is Billy Crystal. As he takes the podium, he channels some Howard Cosell as the players make their way to the arena. "Welcome everybody to ThunderDOME! We have a lovely show for you today the scrappy Hung Lo is taking on the Marvelous Mucius Lefty Scaevola. This southpaw packs quite a punch! Let's see what these modern gladiators have got. BEGIN!" Hung Lo heads for the machete and Mucius heads for the Spiked Club.

Both men reach their weapons safely and head towards the center of the ring. Mucius looks to be overconfident in his armor and forgoes the circling ritual and heads aggressively for Hung Lo. He swings low and to the left, but then changes his swing in a misdirection attack and swings at Hung Lo's weapon arm. The club strikes Hung Lo hard in the arm and Hung Lo drops his machete. This is getting ugly quick.

Amazingly, Hung Lo is able to pick up his machete with his off hand. He gets it up just in time to block a heavy shot that would have surely sent spikes through his brain. Hung Lo attemps to counter with his off hand. He swing hard and Mucius paries the machete back toward's Hung Lo's own head. Another quick recovery by Hung Lo allows him to keep his head on straight.

Hung Lo attacks again. It looks as though Mucius is toying with Hung Lo a little. That is plain foolish on Mucius' behalf and Hung Lo makes him pay for it. A strong left handed swing from Hung Lo lands on Mucius' leg and opens a huge gash. Mucius drops to one knee.

Realizing his errors, Mucius stands up and attacks Hung Lo furiously. Hung Lo is able to partially get out of the way of the roundhouse swing of Mucius and his spiked club. One spike still scrapes hard across Mucius chest, but doesn't impact him fully. Hung Lo returns a hard back hand to Mucius, but the impact is aborbed by Mucius' finely crafted armor.

Mucius moves in for the kill and swings hard again at Hung Lo's chest. Hung Lo is full of surprises yet and is able to dodge what looked like a deathblow. Hung Lo retaliates with an overhead strike again, but he is parried by the Mucius and can't land the blow.

Both men are getting woozy from their wounds and become more cautious with their strikes. Each man adopts a defensive posture. Mucius strikes out with the blood covered club one final time. The club impacts Hung Lo in the chest and one spike drives straight into Hung Lo's chest.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Mucius rips out a couple of Hung Lo's ribs as he yanks the nasty club from Hung Lo's chest. Mucius collapses to the ground, severely bleeding from a leg wound. Luckily for him, the medics were able to get to him in time. Mucius, the prize of Demetrius' stable, wins the fight. He is promoted to Rank 4 and receives 1 prestige point. Demetrius collects the purse and purchases a chest plate for his favorite fighter. Mucius is severely injured and will not be able to fight again this season.

[Raven Hawk]

Mr. T (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Little Jeebie Dee (Rank 4, Malice Unchained)

Weapons: Longsword, Machete, Chains, Warhammer

Both men enter the paddocks in pitiful form. The crowd gathered around the stage lets out boos of displeasure. The odds remain the same as the fighters make their way to the arena, 2:1 in favor of the monster, Little Jeebie Dee. Billy Crystal takes the podium. "Wow! Did you see that last fight. With the bam! and the blood! Let's see another good fight! BEGIN!" Little Jeebie Dee heads for his longsword and Mr. T heads for his chains, fool.

The two men get to their weapons without problem and begin the ritual of circling. Mr. T thinks that he's got a drop on his opponent and moves in, but it is Jeebie who is the first to strike, correctly anticipating Mr. T's movements. However, even with all the battle smarts he's got, Jeebie isn't able to land a blow. He is, however, successful in interupting Mr. T's attack.

Once again Mr. T comes in strong and Jeebie sneaks his attack in again. He interrupts Mr. T's attack and lands a light blow across Mr. T's chest. This does not hinder Mr. T from swinging his chains, though and Mr. T retaliates. But Mr. T is looks like he's afraid that Jeebie will interupt his attack again, he loses his concentration and his chains go flying across the arena. Little Jeebie Dee grins broadly.

Before Mr. T can move to get a new weapon, Jeebie is on him like lightning. Jeebie opens Mr. T's belly like a can of sardines. Blood and entrails begin to spill out and Mr. T attempts to catch them as they fall out of his stomach. Jeebie D isn't inclined to let him do that. He slashes at Mr. T to finish the match off, but Mr. T falls to the ground, avoiding the blow and collecting his bowels.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Little Jeebie reverses his grip on the sword and plunges it down into Mr. T's chest. Mr. T winces for a moment, then he is dead. Little Jeebie Dee has won the fight. He is promoted to rank 5 and receives 2 prestige points. The Rooster collects the purse and offers to train Little Jeebie Dee how to further anticipate the attacks of his opponents (how much more could there be to learn?) Jeebie is uninjured and can fight again at his own leisure.

[Raven Hawk]

Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) (Rank 3, Malice Unchained) vs. Fattoe the Smashifier (Rank 4, Pain Unlimited)

Weapons: Spear, Knife, Spear, Crowbar

What more could you ask for in a fight. Both men enter the paddocks in top form. This will be a legendary match up as the two fighters will face off in the main event. The crowd should get their money's worth today. As the men head to the arena floor, the odds end even at 1:1. The crowd cheers loudly as Billy Crystal takes the podium for the last time this evening. "Can we possibly have a better fight to end this night on than the one between these two great fighters!" The crowd erupts. "Erik Flamebeard. I here that he's from neither here nor there!" The crowd erupts. "And Fattoe THE SMASHIFIER!" The crowd erupts again amidst the fireworks, fanfare and scantily clad dancing girls. The two men make their way to the corners dodging random pyrotechnics on their way. When they get their Billy gives the signal "BEGIN!" Both men head for different spears.

The two men make it to their spears uneventfully. The two then begin the circling ritual and play it out to the crowds enjoyment. Soon enough, however, it is Erik who is the first to move in. He thrusts his spear towards Fattoe's midsection and opens a small wound in his stomach. The wound stings a bit, but Fattoe is able to retaliate. Fattoe's spear thrust hits Erik square in the leg. Erik winces, but stays in the fight.

Erik returns with a high thrust and Fattoe slaps it out of the way with the shaft of his spear. Fattoe thrusts low again at the same leg he hit before, but he wiffs. Fattoe moves in for another strike, but Erik anticipates it correctly and thrusts low to stop Fattoe's charge. Fattoe is able to evade the spear tip and continues his charge. Fattoe misses his mark and only scratches Erik with his attack.

Erik is once again the quicker fighter, but he can't get past Fattoe's guard. Fattoe once again manages only to scratch his skilled opponent with his retaliatory strike. Erik starts to feel a little woozy from the leg wound that he took and he tries to press forward to gain a better advantage. He once again out maneuvers his opponent and strikes at his midsection. And again he opens a small wound in Fattoe's stomach. Fattoe grits his teeth and returns with a thrust of his own. The thrust lands squarely in Erik's chest. The tip breaks through Erik's rib cage and punctures a lung. Erik begins spitting up blood as Fattoe stands back and watches.

TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES!

Erik Flamebeard clutches his chest, falls to his knees, then topples over to the ground. The crowd cheers on Fattoe as he holds his spear aloft, victoriously. Fattoe has won the fight and is promoted to Rank 5. He receives 3 prestige points. Torbjorg collects yet another purse in a very successful season. He offers to train Fattoe further in fight stylization. Fattoe is injured and will be out for the rest of the season.

[Raven Hawk]

Tables will be updated on Monday. Next auction is on Tuesday.

[Vince]

Don't mess with Mucius -- he'll rip out your ribs!

[sachmo71]

Fattoe SMASH!!!


(sorry CW)

[sachmo71]

Fattoe will train...MISDIRECTION!!

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by Raven Hawk

Little Jeebie reverses his grip on the sword and plunges it down into Mr. T's chest. Mr. T winces for a moment, then he is dead. Little Jeebie Dee has won the fight. He is promoted to rank 5 and receives 2 prestige points. The Rooster collects the purse and offers to train Little Jeebie Dee how to further anticipate the attacks of his opponents (how much more could there be to learn?) Jeebie is uninjured and can fight again at his own leisure.

Excellent.

Paging JAGus, paging Mr JAGus. Your appointment for death has arrived...

[JeeberD]

Crap, I forgot that the Wuss JAGus is afraid to fight until week one of next season. Is there anyone out there brave enough to challenge Little Jeebie Dee for Week 10?