We have to give away one of our dogs...

[PurdueBrad]

The first major purchase that my wife and I made together when we were dating was a cute, friendly little puppy that we named Maddie. She was this adorable little ball of brown and black fur, half shih-tzu, half poodle. And things were terrific, she fit in like one of the family. We got a second dog a year later and we started to notice some problems with Maddie attempting to establish dominance (harassing the other dog at the top or bottom of the staircase, chasing the other dog off of the furniture, etc.) but everyone eventually settled in to this routine. We tried various behavior training methods, collars, etc. but none adjusted her dominance issues but they were also never severe.

Maddie has always been a little scared of children and we had our first nine months ago. The first five months were great, she adored him. Once he really started moving though, we noticed a shift in behavior. She stopped making any kind of eye contact with him, wouldn't play with him any more and then over the last month or so (as he started pulling himself up on furniture and getting into things) she has taken to growling at him. Last night, as he pulled himself up on my leg, Maddie lunged across my lap and tried to nip him (I say nip because I genuinely don't believe that this 15 pound dog could bite or, worse yet, maul someone). This has led us to something that my wife and I had dreaded and that is the decision of what to do with Maddie now that we have a child in the house.

We both feel like complete failures, despite the fact that our other dog is really well adjusted and loves the baby. I feel terrible for the other dog (Libby, so that there names made the words Mad-Lib) who loves having a playmate. My son's eyes light up around Maddie and he always has a smile for her. This is really my wife's dog has they used to be really close (that oddly changed when the baby came too). And I feel worst of all for Maddie, as she was such a happy dog and we've kind of ruined her home for her. I feel like I've let everyone down in this.

The vet's office said that putting her down may be the best option but I couldn't bear that. Particularly because she would a fabulous dog for a childless couple, a single person, or an elderly couple. I'm hoping to make an appointment today with our no-kill shelter but it breaks my heart to have to do this.

I never realized how much a part of our lives she's become until these last twelve hours.

[JetsIn06]

Wow man, I'm really sorry to hear all that.

But put her down? I don't even think that's an option, and certainly not the best. Just my opinion.

Animals have very complex personalities and just because this dog isn't fitting in doesn't mean it deserves to die.

You can always go to a Rescue and give your dog up for adoption. Trust me, they'll understand and won't judge you for it. Stuff like this happens and that's why they exist.

Hang in there buddy. I know it's a tough thing to do as I've had to do it before (for different reasons). The dog will find a loving new home.

[gstelmack]

We went through this a few years back. We had one dog when we moved to NC, adopted a second when we got here, and made the mistake of not letting the establish dominance (as we found out later). We did our best to keep them from fighting, not pushing ahead of each other, etc. Found out later we should have encouraged dominance for our original dog, making sure she got fed first, let out first, walk at the front, etc.

Anyway, both were females, which is a really bad combo for dominance issues, and eventually they had a HUGE fight. Only reason they lived was we had some work being done on the house, one of the workmen raised pitbulls, and he jumped in and separated them. Once they got healthy, we had to keep them separated, tried the behaviorist route, and they eventually got to the point where they could be together again and get along great.

Unless one of us was near. They were fighting over us, and we finally had to give one up. We found a great home with lots of kids for the newer dog, and she went along happily with them.

We've also had to give a dog up due to kids. We rescued a puppy that had been abandoned by the side of the road at 5 weeks, and at the time had a 6 month-old plus the original dog above who was getting very old. The original dog passed away, we were down to the one puppy and child, and everything went great for about a year. Then our daughter got old enough to want to play with the puppy, but the puppy hadn't been around a litter much so neither knew HOW to play. When he knocked her down against a bookcase and bloodied her nose, we had to give him up.

Neither one was very easy, but in both cases it was the right thing for the family. So I feel for you.

But unless that dog has actually bitten someone and can't be around people at all, I don't see why anyone wants to put the dog down.

[DaddyTorgo]

sounds like the dog just never adjusted to the baby and it's role. cesar milan had a great episode on that where he "fixed" that problem

[JonInMiddleGA]

FWIW (and to reinforce the adoption idea), one of our two current cats was put up for adoption after some major issues following the introduction of a baby into his previous home. 3 years later he's generally fat & happy here.

Sounds like a similar situation, unless there are other major issues I'd strongly urge you to find the dog another home.

In addition to the shelter, we've had surprising luck lately with placing animals in need of homes through friends, friends of friends, friends of friends of friends, etc. Might at least be worth reaching out to see what happens.

[Glengoyne]

Tough decision. Work with the no-kill shelter or advertise where you can. Even though she is a mixed breed, you might try to reach out to a poodle or shih-tzu rescue organization. I've seen mixed breeds listed on some of those sites before.

You're doing the right thing for your family and for the dog. Just monitor the situation until you can part ways with your pet and friend.

[flere-imsaho]

Originally Posted by PurdueBrad

The vet's office said that putting her down may be the best option

Yeah, that's BS, and this is why:

she would a fabulous dog for a childless couple, a single person, or an elderly couple

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear this, but you're doing the right things. You may also want to consider (depending on your financial situation) hiring a good trainer and/or behaviorist to see if Maddie can be adjusted to her new situation, but if she was always wary of kids, that might be a hard road to follow.


We've been lucky so far with 15-month-old Sam (human, 30 pounds) and 9-year-old Bear (Rottweiler mix, 75 pounds). Bear had no issues with Sam until Sam started crawling and bumping into Bear. However, since we long ago established a clear dominance order in our household, Bear looked to us for guidance and we established his options as endure it, move away, or ask to go outside, and these have worked for him, generally. Plus, once Sam started eating real food and dropping it from his high chair Bear saw the considerable positive in the relationship.

[DaddyTorgo]

yep - you gotta let Maddie know that the baby isn't a toy but is a dominant human and she is not to interact with it

[PurdueBrad]

Originally Posted by flere-imsaho

Plus, once Sam started eating real food and dropping it from his high chair Bear saw the considerable positive in the relationship.

And that has been the other interesting thing. She'll eat anything but if he drops food, she won't go near it. If I or my wife or a guest drops something or just leaves it within reach she helps herself. It's been just an odd couple of months.

I left a message with the shelter and am glad to hear that you guys agree about not putting her down. My jaw hit the floor when they told me that. I even said, "She didn't bite anybody or hurt anybody, she just doesn't like kids" and their response was, "In cases like this, we still would recommend considering putting her to sleep."

Needless to say, our other dog will be attending a new vet.

[DaddyTorgo]

true that re: the other dog

i bet if one put in the effort maddie could be "adjusted"

[Honolulu_Blue]

I am sorry to hear about this. It must be very, very hard. But you're instincts are right. Your dog definitely doesn't deserve to be put to sleep and a new vet is definitely in order.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by PurdueBrad

"In cases like this, we still would recommend considering putting her to sleep."

Needless to say, our other dog will be attending a new vet.

I was going to say, in cases like this, I would recommend considering a new vet. I'm glad you are.

[Lathum]

Sorry to hear PB, I definitely think you need a new vet, that is total BS. That being said they may have to tell you that as a liability issue...

I hope your dog finds a new home with a nice elderly couple, I can't imagine having to be in your shoes.

[PurdueBrad]

Bumping this...sadly. We kept Maddie, worked through lots of growing pains, went through the behavioral training but things came to a head yesterday. Maddie was sitting on the sofa, my son Cash went to grab a blanket (my son is 2 now), and Maddie lunged at his face, growling and biting. I don't know how but I caught her mid-attack and put a stop to it but this is the straw.

We have an appointment tomorrow with a shelter that has been very confident in their ability to place her in a childless, most likely elderly household. I'm happy about that but will miss having her around.

It's disappointing after how long we made it work but at the same time, we only made it work. Things never got much better, Maddie's happier hanging out in the basement until Cash goes to bed, Cash is safer without her around, and my wife and I feel better knowing Maddie will go to a better environment and less worry over our son, but it still is tough.

[stevew]

I have a couple brown/black Shih-poos and couldn't imagine life without them. But the kids have to come first.

[RainMaker]

No chance at just keeping them separated? Maybe keep her in a different room?

[EagleFan]

Sorry to hear that PB. Not easy but it is the right choice, your son's safety needs to come first.

[BYU 14]

Sorry to hear Brad and kudos for trying to make it work.....Your sons safety is of foremost importance, but I know how you must feel having to give Maddie up.

How old is she and how is she around other animals?

[CrimsonFox]

Very sorry.

[PurdueBrad]

Originally Posted by BYU 14

Sorry to hear Brad and kudos for trying to make it work.....Your sons safety is of foremost importance, but I know how you must feel having to give Maddie up.

How old is she and how is she around other animals?

She's five and a half and does well with other animals. Honestly, it's anybody under ten just scares her and freaks her out so we are hopeful that she'll find a home that works for her. They said that because she's a little dog, she'll go quick, which was also good news.

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by PurdueBrad

The first major purchase that my wife and I made together when we were dating was a cute, friendly little puppy that we named Maddie. She was this adorable little ball of brown and black fur, half shih-tzu, half poodle. And things were terrific, she fit in like one of the family. We got a second dog a year later and we started to notice some problems with Maddie attempting to establish dominance (harassing the other dog at the top or bottom of the staircase, chasing the other dog off of the furniture, etc.) but everyone eventually settled in to this routine. We tried various behavior training methods, collars, etc. but none adjusted her dominance issues but they were also never severe.

Maddie has always been a little scared of children and we had our first nine months ago. The first five months were great, she adored him. Once he really started moving though, we noticed a shift in behavior. She stopped making any kind of eye contact with him, wouldn't play with him any more and then over the last month or so (as he started pulling himself up on furniture and getting into things) she has taken to growling at him. Last night, as he pulled himself up on my leg, Maddie lunged across my lap and tried to nip him (I say nip because I genuinely don't believe that this 15 pound dog could bite or, worse yet, maul someone). This has led us to something that my wife and I had dreaded and that is the decision of what to do with Maddie now that we have a child in the house.

We both feel like complete failures, despite the fact that our other dog is really well adjusted and loves the baby. I feel terrible for the other dog (Libby, so that there names made the words Mad-Lib) who loves having a playmate. My son's eyes light up around Maddie and he always has a smile for her. This is really my wife's dog has they used to be really close (that oddly changed when the baby came too). And I feel worst of all for Maddie, as she was such a happy dog and we've kind of ruined her home for her. I feel like I've let everyone down in this.

The vet's office said that putting her down may be the best option but I couldn't bear that. Particularly because she would a fabulous dog for a childless couple, a single person, or an elderly couple. I'm hoping to make an appointment today with our no-kill shelter but it breaks my heart to have to do this.

I never realized how much a part of our lives she's become until these last twelve hours.

Sad story, but that is for the best. When I was 3, our Sheltie did the same thing and nipped at me, except she came away with most of my bottom lip. Had to have reconstructive plastic surgery.

[Ksyrup]

Sorry to hear about this.

We had a similar issue with one of our dogs. Within a 6 month span, he had bitten both of our kids on the face, each time requiring a trip to the ER. We were going to give him away, but we noticed that in both instances, the kids were touching him around his neck, so my wife took him to the vet and they thought it was arthritis/pain-related. The kids squeezed or hugged in the wrong place, and he reacted - as opposed to lashing out in jealousy/anger or something. He had been fine for the first 5 or so years, so it didn't appear to be a personality issue.

Anyway, he's been on meds ever since and thankfully we haven't had another episode.

[GoldenEagle]

I would seriously question the vet's ethics. It sounds like he/she is trying to make some money before you decide to get rid of the dog.

Anyway, I this is something you can correct. It just takes a lot of work and discipline. You have to change your dog's way of thinking. You are not being cruel to it. Dogs crave being established in a pack.

[Landshark44]

Happened to me fourth of July. My 4 yr old 75 lb Lab/Husky growled/sctratched bit my 9 yr old. We were going to give him up, but couldn't do it. No incidents until just after christmas, when he bit my 14 yr old on his hand. We still have him. He's part of the family, and other than those two instances has been the perfect pet. I am keeping a close eye on him, and one more incident here may be the "straw".....

[Ksyrup]

Yeah, we don't allow the girls to be face to face with the dog, to hug him, or allow him to get too close (sleep on their beds, etc.) anymore.