Grandpa

Sun Tzu · 09-30-2010, 03:23 PM

We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. "Give me five bees for a quarter," you'd say.

Now where were we? Oh yeah. the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

JediKooter · 09-30-2010, 04:30 PM

Grandpa Simpson?

molson · 09-30-2010, 04:37 PM

My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" because the Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. (the children laugh) What are you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem! Now, I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlet...

Sun Tzu · 09-30-2010, 04:43 PM

My grandpa had some great quotes, but none were like this. So yes, Grandpa Simpson.

Ronnie Dobbs2 · 09-30-2010, 04:46 PM

Talking out of turn...that's a paddling. Looking out the window...that's a paddling. Staring at my sandals...that's paddling. Paddling the school canoe...ooh, you better believe that's a paddling.

Not Grandpa, obviously, but close!

Sun Tzu · 09-30-2010, 04:50 PM

Ah, there's an interesting story behind this nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three - medium brown.

JediKooter · 09-30-2010, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sun Tzu

My grandpa had some great quotes, but none were like this. So yes, Grandpa Simpson.

Dang it. That would have been awesome if it really was your grandpa. I always threatened my step daughters that if they married an idiot, I would act just like Grandpa Simpson.

Sun Tzu · 09-30-2010, 04:50 PM

I'm filled with piss and vinegar! At first, I was just filled with vinegar.

molson · 09-30-2010, 04:53 PM

You're ignorant! That's the Wright Brothers' plane! In Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it 15 miles on a thimble full of corn oil. Single-handedly won us the Civil War, it did

cartman · 09-30-2010, 04:54 PM

I need my pills. Hello!!??! I'm cold and there are wolves after me.

Ronnie Dobbs2 · 09-30-2010, 04:55 PM

Call me mint jelly, 'cause I'm on the lam!

molson · 09-30-2010, 04:59 PM

The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire. Naturally, we blamed the Irish. We hanged more 'n a few

09-30-2010, 04:30 PM	#2
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	Grandpa Simpson? __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 Last edited by JediKooter : 09-30-2010 at 04:30 PM.

09-30-2010, 04:43 PM	#4
Sun Tzu Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: In the thick of it.	My grandpa had some great quotes, but none were like this. So yes, Grandpa Simpson. __________________ I'm still here. Don't touch my fucking bacon.

09-30-2010, 04:46 PM	#5
Ronnie Dobbs2 Pro Rookie Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Bahston Mass	Talking out of turn...that's a paddling. Looking out the window...that's a paddling. Staring at my sandals...that's paddling. Paddling the school canoe...ooh, you better believe that's a paddling. Not Grandpa, obviously, but close! __________________ There's no I in Teamocil, at least not where you'd think Last edited by Ronnie Dobbs2 : 09-30-2010 at 04:46 PM.

09-30-2010, 04:50 PM	#6
Sun Tzu Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: In the thick of it.	Ah, there's an interesting story behind this nickel. In 1957, I remember it was, I got up in the morning and made myself a piece of toast. I set the toaster to three - medium brown. __________________ I'm still here. Don't touch my fucking bacon.

09-30-2010, 04:50 PM	#8
Sun Tzu Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: In the thick of it.	I'm filled with piss and vinegar! At first, I was just filled with vinegar. __________________ I'm still here. Don't touch my fucking bacon.

09-30-2010, 04:37 PM	#3
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say "dickety" because the Kaiser had stolen our word "twenty". I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. (the children laugh) What are you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem! Now, I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlet...

09-30-2010, 04:53 PM	#9
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	You're ignorant! That's the Wright Brothers' plane! In Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it 15 miles on a thimble full of corn oil. Single-handedly won us the Civil War, it did

09-30-2010, 04:54 PM	#10
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	I need my pills. Hello!!??! I'm cold and there are wolves after me. __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

09-30-2010, 04:55 PM	#11
Ronnie Dobbs2 Pro Rookie Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Bahston Mass	Call me mint jelly, 'cause I'm on the lam! __________________ There's no I in Teamocil, at least not where you'd think

09-30-2010, 04:59 PM	#12
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire. Naturally, we blamed the Irish. We hanged more 'n a few

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