If I Had One Billion Dollars

tarcone · 07-02-2010, 11:14 AM

I would pick and choose 20 young American athletes. Then hire them. It could be anyone. But I want the best. NBA players, WRS in the NFL, etc.
I would then hire the best soccer coach I could find. And for 2 solid years, I would pay them to learn how to play soccer. Then we kick the worlds butt. The world would cringe at the USAs ability to marshall forces and dominate an international competition.
Then I would turn my eyes to the Rugby WC.

Noop · 07-02-2010, 11:16 AM

If I had a billion I wouldn't waste my time with soccer. I would donate to Florida State and pretty much bang hot chicks forever.

Ronnie Dobbs2 · 07-02-2010, 11:18 AM

I would give half to my wife as she divorced me.

heybrad · 07-02-2010, 11:18 AM

Hopefully you'd do this after 'two chicks at the same time'.

Karlifornia · 07-02-2010, 11:19 AM

I totally had my money on a solid gold bible.

JonInMiddleGA · 07-02-2010, 11:19 AM

You have really low standards for what to do with a billion dollars.

Logan · 07-02-2010, 11:19 AM

You'd probably need to add a 0 in order to stake this enough for it to stick.

stevew · 07-02-2010, 11:23 AM

you could call me travie claus, minus the ho ho.

Karlifornia · 07-02-2010, 11:23 AM

Honestly, if I had a billion dollars, I'd pay to direct a documentary where Noop gets raped by a bunch of bull dykes with huge strap-ons

Doug5984 · 07-02-2010, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

you could call me travie claus, minus the ho ho.

Damn you beat me to it

Noop · 07-02-2010, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

Honestly, if I had a billion dollars, I'd pay to direct a documentary where Noop gets raped by a bunch of bull dykes with huge strap-ons

... This is beyond homo on your part.

Icy · 07-02-2010, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tarcone

I would pick and choose 20 young American athletes. Then hire them. It could be anyone. But I want the best. NBA players, WRS in the NFL, etc.
I would then hire the best soccer coach I could find. And for 2 solid years, I would pay them to learn how to play soccer. Then we kick the worlds butt. The world would cringe at the USAs ability to marshall forces and dominate an international competition.
Then I would turn my eyes to the Rugby WC.

I know it was a joke and exaggeration, but you are totally wrong if you think you could pick the top 30 not only usa but worldwide athletes, teach them soccer in those two years and be able to win any title. Soccer skills is not something you can learn in 2 years and soccer for sure is not just based on athleticism.

Mustang · 07-02-2010, 11:41 AM

I'd buy 1,000 K cars, 1,000 monkeys and a thousand times more love.

cthomer5000 · 07-02-2010, 11:42 AM

For the OPs sake, i hope this was a joke.

MJ4H · 07-02-2010, 11:54 AM

No kidding that was a serious facepalm post.

JonInMiddleGA · 07-02-2010, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noop

... This is beyond homo on your part.

I'm thinking the phrase "no homo" must have been omitted from his post.

Wonder what the odds would be on a Boondocks reference from me?

panerd · 07-02-2010, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by heybrad

Hopefully you'd do this after 'two chicks at the same time'.

You know what I would do if I had a billion dollars? I would invest half of it in low risk mutual funds and then take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities.

Karlifornia · 07-02-2010, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noop

... This is beyond homo on your part.

Yeah, I'm way homo! Guess what, dipshit; If I was, I would still have more of a chance of creating something that could be called a human being than you would. Basically, what I'm saying is: Don't ever have kids, because they'd be fucking mongoloids in your misogynistic, homophobic, unfunny hands.

JediKooter · 07-02-2010, 12:34 PM

If I had a billion dollars...

Not sure what the fuck I'd do with it. There would be plenty of drinking and not going to work though.

larrymcg421 · 07-02-2010, 12:36 PM

If I had one billion dollars?

Delorean, Flux Capacitor, Plutonium. Win, win, win.

Sun Tzu · 07-02-2010, 12:39 PM

Homer : Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy.
Marge : What's that?
Homer : .........A dinosaur

Neon_Chaos · 07-02-2010, 12:45 PM

I'd pay Jim Gindin to come out with a new FOF.

larrymcg421 · 07-02-2010, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neon_Chaos

I'd pay Jim Gindin to come out with a new FOF.

This is probably #2 on my agenda, after I fuck up the space time continuum.

Doug5984 · 07-02-2010, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by larrymcg421

This is probably #2 on my agenda, after I fuck up the space time continuum.

If you go back in time and fuck up the space time continuum would Jim Gindin have ever made the first FOF? Get him to release a new version, then go f up everything.

DanGarion · 07-02-2010, 01:01 PM

Oh I thought you were talking about a new Barenaked Ladies song...

DanGarion · 07-02-2010, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by larrymcg421

If I had one billion dollars?

Delorean, Flux Capacitor, Plutonium. Win, win, win.

You forgot Sports Almanac.

Pumpy Tudors · 07-02-2010, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Icy

I know it was a joke and exaggeration, but you are totally wrong if you think you could pick the top 30 not only usa but worldwide athletes, teach them soccer in those two years and be able to win any title. Soccer skills is not something you can learn in 2 years and soccer for sure is not just based on athleticism.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU THINK IT WAS A JOKE OR AN EXAGGERATION

HE'S TALKING ABOUT AMERICAN ATHLETES

AMERICAN ATHLETES ARE THE BEST AND WE CAN AND SHOULD WIN EVERYTHING

WE JUST HAVE TO TRY

USA USA USA USA USA USA USA

Kodos · 07-02-2010, 02:02 PM

I would come up with something to actually cap the fucking oil well in the gulf, and then send BP a bill for fixing it.

flere-imsaho · 07-02-2010, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tarcone

I would pick and choose 20 young American athletes. Then hire them. It could be anyone. But I want the best. NBA players, WRS in the NFL, etc.
I would then hire the best soccer coach I could find. And for 2 solid years, I would pay them to learn how to play soccer.

And then you would lose in the 2nd round to a team who has a striker who's played the game since he could walk and conjures a goal out of nowhere with a movement of pure magic.

MJ4H · 07-02-2010, 03:00 PM

nu-uh our guys are resistant to magic

k0ruptr · 07-02-2010, 03:05 PM

Cant we just use the 1 billion dollars to get the top soccer players in the world us citizenship? or does it not work that way.

MJ4H · 07-02-2010, 03:06 PM

With that kind of money, things work pretty much however the fuck you want them to work.

Pumpy Tudors · 07-02-2010, 03:27 PM

PUT JOHN KRUK IN A ROOM WITH THE BEST SOCCER COACH FOR 30 DAYS AND KRUK COULD BEAT BRAZIL BY HIMSELF

sorry i mean he could EAT BRAZIL BY HIMSELF

stevew · 07-02-2010, 03:29 PM

we need Brad Pitt and Angelina to start adopting kids from Brazil. Like entire ghettos.

Pumpy Tudors · 07-02-2010, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

we need Brad Pitt and Angelina to start adopting kids from Brazil. Like entire ghettos.

Now, see, I could get behind this thread if it had started with this.

Pumpy Tudors · 07-02-2010, 03:34 PM

In any case, if we're fantasizing about spending money so the USA can be the best at something, why not start with the sports we're "supposed" to dominate like baseball and basketball? We can't even win that shit all the time. Hell, start giving medals for American football, and some Latin American country will probably beat the fuck out of us at that within 20 years.

Ben E Lou · 07-02-2010, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

Honestly, if I had a billion dollars, I'd pay to direct a documentary where Noop gets raped by a bunch of bull dykes with huge strap-ons

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

Yeah, I'm way homo! Guess what, dipshit; If I was, I would still have more of a chance of creating something that could be called a human being than you would. Basically, what I'm saying is: Don't ever have kids, because they'd be fucking mongoloids in your misogynistic, homophobic, unfunny hands.

Wow. See you in a month. Kudos to noop for a pretty restrained response there.

DanGarion · 07-02-2010, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben E Lou

Wow. See you in a month. Kudos to noop for a pretty restrained response there.

DOH!

Bearcat729 · 07-02-2010, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mustang

I'd buy 1,000 K cars, 1,000 monkeys and a thousand times more love.

But John Merrick's remains are safe?

k0ruptr · 07-02-2010, 05:05 PM

a month? wow thats kinda extreme.

Sun Tzu · 07-02-2010, 05:10 PM

I knew Karl was upset at noop for posting so many .gifs, but I never really knew how upset he was until now.

JediKooter · 07-02-2010, 05:11 PM

I think this is part of a larger conspiracy to outlaw huge strap ons...

Sun Tzu · 07-02-2010, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter

I think this is part of a larger conspiracy to outlaw huge strap ons...

That's fucked up. What's the point of even having small ones?

JediKooter · 07-02-2010, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sun Tzu

That's fucked up. What's the point of even having small ones?

That's what she said.

MacroGuru · 07-02-2010, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by k0ruptr

a month? wow thats kinda extreme.

I concur.

Ben E Lou · 07-02-2010, 06:08 PM

He got 7 days for similar behavior just a few weeks ago. The kid didn't learn his lesson the first time, so I upped the ante. *shurg*

MacroGuru · 07-02-2010, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben E Lou

He got 7 days for similar behavior just a few weeks ago. The kid didn't learn his lesson the first time, so I upped the ante. *shurg*

Didn't know that...I concur here now...

k0ruptr · 07-02-2010, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben E Lou

He got 7 days for similar behavior just a few weeks ago. The kid didn't learn his lesson the first time, so I upped the ante. *shurg*

I didnt realize that either, this makes more sense then. Thanks for explaining.

Noop · 07-02-2010, 07:02 PM

Hmm... I thought Karl was joking. If he really has a problem with me then that sucks but I am not in favor of him being banned or suspended for a month. Most of the stuff I say on this site is mostly for shits and giggles. I didn't know my comments would rail someone up that way. Karl if you're reading I have no hard feelings toward you and if you really have a problem send me a PM or something.

Sun Tzu · 07-02-2010, 07:06 PM

Way to go Noop...jeez

07-02-2010, 11:18 AM	#3
Ronnie Dobbs2 Pro Rookie Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Bahston Mass	I would give half to my wife as she divorced me. __________________ There's no I in Teamocil, at least not where you'd think

07-02-2010, 11:19 AM	#5
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	I totally had my money on a solid gold bible. __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com

07-02-2010, 11:19 AM	#6
JonInMiddleGA Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA	You have really low standards for what to do with a billion dollars. __________________ "I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis

07-02-2010, 11:23 AM	#9
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	Honestly, if I had a billion dollars, I'd pay to direct a documentary where Noop gets raped by a bunch of bull dykes with huge strap-ons __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com

07-02-2010, 11:41 AM	#13
Mustang Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wisconsin	I'd buy 1,000 K cars, 1,000 monkeys and a thousand times more love. __________________ You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its...

07-02-2010, 11:16 AM	#2
Noop Bonafide Seminole Fan Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Miami	If I had a billion I wouldn't waste my time with soccer. I would donate to Florida State and pretty much bang hot chicks forever. __________________ Subby's favorite woman hater.

07-02-2010, 11:18 AM	#4
heybrad Norm!!! Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Manassas, VA	Hopefully you'd do this after 'two chicks at the same time'.

07-02-2010, 11:19 AM	#7
Logan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: NYC	You'd probably need to add a 0 in order to stake this enough for it to stick.

07-02-2010, 11:23 AM	#8
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	you could call me travie claus, minus the ho ho.

07-02-2010, 11:54 AM	#15
MJ4H Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hog Country	No kidding that was a serious facepalm post.

07-02-2010, 12:34 PM	#19
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	If I had a billion dollars... Not sure what the fuck I'd do with it. There would be plenty of drinking and not going to work though. __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

07-02-2010, 12:36 PM	#20
larrymcg421 Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Georgia	If I had one billion dollars? Delorean, Flux Capacitor, Plutonium. Win, win, win. __________________ Top 10 Songs of the Year 1955-Present (1976 Added) Franchise Portfolio Draft Winner Fictional Character Draft Winner Television Family Draft Winner Build Your Own Hollywood Studio Draft Winner

07-02-2010, 12:39 PM	#21
Sun Tzu Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: In the thick of it.	Homer : Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy. Marge : What's that? Homer : .........A dinosaur __________________ I'm still here. Don't touch my fucking bacon.

07-02-2010, 12:45 PM	#22
Neon_Chaos Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Parañaque, Philippines	I'd pay Jim Gindin to come out with a new FOF. __________________ Come and see.

07-02-2010, 01:01 PM	#25
DanGarion Coordinator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Great Northwest	Oh I thought you were talking about a new Barenaked Ladies song... __________________ Los Angeles Dodgers Check out the FOFC Groups on Facebook! and Reddit! DON'T REPORT ME BRO!

07-02-2010, 02:02 PM	#28
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	I would come up with something to actually cap the fucking oil well in the gulf, and then send BP a bill for fixing it.

07-02-2010, 03:00 PM	#30
MJ4H Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hog Country	nu-uh our guys are resistant to magic

07-02-2010, 03:05 PM	#31
k0ruptr Pro Starter Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Las Vegas	Cant we just use the 1 billion dollars to get the top soccer players in the world us citizenship? or does it not work that way. __________________ Xbox Live Gamertag: k0ruptr My Favorite Teams : Chicago White Sox - Carolina Panthers - Orlando Magic - Phoenix Suns - Anaheim Ducks - Hawaii Warriors - Oregon Ducks Last edited by k0ruptr : 07-02-2010 at 03:05 PM.

07-02-2010, 03:06 PM	#32
MJ4H Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hog Country	With that kind of money, things work pretty much however the fuck you want them to work.

07-02-2010, 03:27 PM	#33
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	PUT JOHN KRUK IN A ROOM WITH THE BEST SOCCER COACH FOR 30 DAYS AND KRUK COULD BEAT BRAZIL BY HIMSELF sorry i mean he could EAT BRAZIL BY HIMSELF __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

07-02-2010, 03:29 PM	#34
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	we need Brad Pitt and Angelina to start adopting kids from Brazil. Like entire ghettos.

07-02-2010, 03:34 PM	#36
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	In any case, if we're fantasizing about spending money so the USA can be the best at something, why not start with the sports we're "supposed" to dominate like baseball and basketball? We can't even win that shit all the time. Hell, start giving medals for American football, and some Latin American country will probably beat the fuck out of us at that within 20 years. __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

07-02-2010, 05:05 PM	#40
k0ruptr Pro Starter Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Las Vegas	a month? wow thats kinda extreme. __________________ Xbox Live Gamertag: k0ruptr My Favorite Teams : Chicago White Sox - Carolina Panthers - Orlando Magic - Phoenix Suns - Anaheim Ducks - Hawaii Warriors - Oregon Ducks

07-02-2010, 05:10 PM	#41
Sun Tzu Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: In the thick of it.	I knew Karl was upset at noop for posting so many .gifs, but I never really knew how upset he was until now. __________________ I'm still here. Don't touch my fucking bacon.

07-02-2010, 05:11 PM	#42
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	I think this is part of a larger conspiracy to outlaw huge strap ons... __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

07-02-2010, 06:08 PM	#46
Ben E Lou Morgado's Favorite Forum Fascist Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Greensboro, NC	He got 7 days for similar behavior just a few weeks ago. The kid didn't learn his lesson the first time, so I upped the ante. shurg __________________ The media don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures 54 million come wit'!

07-02-2010, 07:02 PM	#49
Noop Bonafide Seminole Fan Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Miami	Hmm... I thought Karl was joking. If he really has a problem with me then that sucks but I am not in favor of him being banned or suspended for a month. Most of the stuff I say on this site is mostly for shits and giggles. I didn't know my comments would rail someone up that way. Karl if you're reading I have no hard feelings toward you and if you really have a problem send me a PM or something. __________________ Subby's favorite woman hater.

07-02-2010, 07:06 PM	#50
Sun Tzu Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: In the thick of it.	Way to go Noop...jeez __________________ I'm still here. Don't touch my fucking bacon.

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