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Old 08-04-2020, 10:16 AM   #601
Lathum
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: homeless in NJ
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodos View Post
Some people have really misplaced priorities. The kid won't even remember this birthday 5 years from now.

Both my kids had birthdays during this, daughter 7 and son 10. Of course they were disappointed. They both had tons of friends and family do drive bys, drop off cards, decorate the porch, etc...hell, their technology teacher showed up dressed like Wonder Woman.

I told them both when they are older they won't remember the birthday party they had at a bouncy house, but they will both remember all the love they received this birthday.
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Old 08-04-2020, 10:22 AM   #602
ISiddiqui
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Originally Posted by Kodos View Post
Some people have really misplaced priorities. The kid won't even remember this birthday 5 years from now.

Exactly! Him being upset for a week or so doesn't mean let's just throw out being careful.

I'm really disappointed with my parents who were like, well if my brother said there is a party, we have to go... what in the world? My brother and sister-in-law (and the kids) will likely be ok if they get the virus. My parents and my sister-in-law's parents...

Why sometimes I hate being the responsible one... because people do things like this and the months of lockdown basically end up becoming useless.
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Old 08-09-2020, 07:55 PM   #603
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Every week I have a stronger and stronger urge to just say "screw it I'm not going to work tomorrow"

I don't have a bad job, it's just not that fulfilling. I can live several years on savings but not forever.
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Old 08-09-2020, 08:07 PM   #604
Noop
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Originally Posted by NobodyHere View Post
Every week I have a stronger and stronger urge to just say "screw it I'm not going to work tomorrow"

I don't have a bad job, it's just not that fulfilling. I can live several years on savings but not forever.

Same. In fact, I am actively contemplating just moving to Canada or Costa Rica.
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Old 08-10-2020, 10:14 AM   #605
spleen1015
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I'm gonna have to go back to not paying much attention to the news. Politics in this country were already in a bad place prior to the pandemic, but it has been kicked into overdrive.

I need to figure out a way to deal with all of this shit better. It all just makes me feel gloomy.

You guys were talking about work. For me work has gotten pretty mundane, monotonous. It seems like it is the same shit every day. There's nothing challenging or new. Everything that would be fun has been postponed because the company is just trying to keep the lights on.
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Old 08-10-2020, 10:52 AM   #606
albionmoonlight
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Took the Twitter and Facebook apps off my phone on Friday. Had a much better weekend than I've had in a while vis a vis anxiety.

I'll probably keep them off for a while
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Old 08-10-2020, 10:58 AM   #607
sterlingice
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It's that delicate balance of wanting to be informed but still having to keep sane.

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Old 08-10-2020, 11:39 AM   #608
Kodos
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We’re on vacation in Massachusetts on a nice pond. I’m trying to make it a vacation from news too. Just enjoying some peace and quiet in nature.
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Old 08-10-2020, 12:24 PM   #609
sterlingice
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodos View Post
We’re on vacation in Massachusetts on a nice pond. I’m trying to make it a vacation from news too. Just enjoying some peace and quiet in nature.

"Aliens go Thoreau"

SI
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Old 08-10-2020, 02:37 PM   #610
JonInMiddleGA
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-- Wife returns from Miami and the kid move yesterday
-- Her plane is a couple hours late (3 flights combined into 2, etc)
-- I pick her up from the airport successfully.
-- We come back via I-20 instead of I-75, cause of large traffic jam
-- We exit at Conyers to find some 8p dinner ...
-- I'm on the ramp, waiting on an opening to pull onto the local road ...
-- get rear-ended by someone who didn't think stopping was a good idea

We'll need a new bumper most likely but no injuries, damage seems entirely cosmetic. The other car I'd guess $3k-$5k in body work eventually, the downside of hitting a vehicle that's a lot taller than your own.

And all I can think was "thank God the other driver jumped out immediately apologetic and mortified by their mistake instead of with the wrong attitude". She fucked up, she knew it, and owned that.

It all went about as smoothly as possible ... but how 2020 is it even happening?
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Old 08-10-2020, 02:47 PM   #611
spleen1015
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Glad everyone is ok man.
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Old 08-10-2020, 02:53 PM   #612
JonInMiddleGA
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Originally Posted by spleen1015 View Post
Glad everyone is ok man.

Thanks, that whole deal was just ... "SRSLY?"

One second I'm watching for an opening to pull out, next minute "Kerblam"

Soooooo much stuff coulda gone worse there -- at the same time we were getting hit, another accident on the other side of the bridge resulted in an entrapment (per the cop who came to do our paperwork).

I'm certainly not complaining, it was just so #ffs
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Old 08-10-2020, 03:04 PM   #613
Lathum
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA View Post
-- Wife returns from Miami and the kid move yesterday
-- Her plane is a couple hours late (3 flights combined into 2, etc)
-- I pick her up from the airport successfully.
-- We come back via I-20 instead of I-75, cause of large traffic jam
-- We exit at Conyers to find some 8p dinner ...
-- I'm on the ramp, waiting on an opening to pull onto the local road ...
-- get rear-ended by someone who didn't think stopping was a good idea

We'll need a new bumper most likely but no injuries, damage seems entirely cosmetic. The other car I'd guess $3k-$5k in body work eventually, the downside of hitting a vehicle that's a lot taller than your own.

And all I can think was "thank God the other driver jumped out immediately apologetic and mortified by their mistake instead of with the wrong attitude". She fucked up, she knew it, and owned that.

It all went about as smoothly as possible ... but how 2020 is it even happening?

Glad no one was hurt. DM me on facebook if you have any insurance questions
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Old 08-10-2020, 04:34 PM   #614
JonInMiddleGA
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Originally Posted by Lathum View Post
Glad no one was hurt. DM me on facebook if you have any insurance questions

Thanks. My big shock today was discovering that the process now has me contacting the other driver's company directly and mine only gets involved if we run into issues.

Our last auto claim involving another driver has been 2+ decades ago, but our recollection was that back in those days the companies preferred to deal with each other and leave the policy holders out of it more.

's fine by me either way, I was just surprised to be told that was the modern route to go.
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Old 08-10-2020, 04:41 PM   #615
spleen1015
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I think it is your insurance company's job to handle every thing for you. That is the way mine has always been.
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Old 08-10-2020, 05:03 PM   #616
Lathum
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA View Post
Thanks. My big shock today was discovering that the process now has me contacting the other driver's company directly and mine only gets involved if we run into issues.

Our last auto claim involving another driver has been 2+ decades ago, but our recollection was that back in those days the companies preferred to deal with each other and leave the policy holders out of it more.

's fine by me either way, I was just surprised to be told that was the modern route to go.

Quote:
Originally Posted by spleen1015 View Post
I think it is your insurance company's job to handle every thing for you. That is the way mine has always been.

Not true at all. There is zero reason to go through your own insurance company if the accident is as cut and dry as this. You of course have that option, but why front the deductible if you don't have to? Plus it ends up as an accident on your policy.

If the other party has a reputable company and is easy to work with no reason you can't go through them. Trust me, they aren't out to screw you any more than your own company would be.
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Old 08-10-2020, 07:12 PM   #617
sterlingice
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I had someone back into me in a parking lot a couple of years ago and it was dealing with one of the big name companies (Geico maybe). It was pretty easy - they gave me a list of companies to take it to and get fixed and they had it done in like a week with no cost to me.

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Old 08-10-2020, 08:22 PM   #618
albionmoonlight
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I do think that the new model is work with the other guy's insurance. And, if they give you trouble, then get yours involved.

I was in an accident semi-recently, and the other guy was clearly at fault. And his insurance was fine to work with.
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Old 08-10-2020, 10:15 PM   #619
miami_fan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA View Post
-- Wife returns from Miami and the kid move yesterday
-- Her plane is a couple hours late (3 flights combined into 2, etc)
-- I pick her up from the airport successfully.
-- We come back via I-20 instead of I-75, cause of large traffic jam
-- We exit at Conyers to find some 8p dinner ...
-- I'm on the ramp, waiting on an opening to pull onto the local road ...
-- get rear-ended by someone who didn't think stopping was a good idea

We'll need a new bumper most likely but no injuries, damage seems entirely cosmetic. The other car I'd guess $3k-$5k in body work eventually, the downside of hitting a vehicle that's a lot taller than your own.

And all I can think was "thank God the other driver jumped out immediately apologetic and mortified by their mistake instead of with the wrong attitude". She fucked up, she knew it, and owned that.

It all went about as smoothly as possible ... but how 2020 is it even happening?

Glad to hear everyone is okay.

Side note, what are the first impressions of Coral Gables?
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Old 08-10-2020, 11:41 PM   #620
JonInMiddleGA
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Originally Posted by miami_fan View Post
Glad to hear everyone is okay.

Side note, what are the first impressions of Coral Gables?

He really saw more of CG proper it on his visit some weeks back than he's seen since arriving last week. He's living, what, 15 mins away maybe? Everything with the school has been virtual so far, he won't be on campus afaik until a week from Thursday. And those will be his only days in Coral Gables itself.

Meanwhile though, his new Downtown Dadeland address seems like its going to suit him fine.

Outside of the three restaurants he's been in DD itself, he's already found

-- his closest bank branch
-- a second Publix
-- a chicken place (Pollo something or other)
-- a decent bbq joint
-- a tire repair place
-- AND a wheel/rim repair place

So if nothing else he seems to be getting acclimatized lol
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Old 08-11-2020, 02:52 AM   #621
stevew
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Thought my dad was going to possibly need a stent or two but luckily the issue they thought they saw was a false positive. I’m glad it went well as another invasive procedure or god forbid another bypass would be pretty bad at his age.
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Old 08-11-2020, 07:17 AM   #622
miami_fan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA View Post
He really saw more of CG proper it on his visit some weeks back than he's seen since arriving last week. He's living, what, 15 mins away maybe? Everything with the school has been virtual so far, he won't be on campus afaik until a week from Thursday. And those will be his only days in Coral Gables itself.

Meanwhile though, his new Downtown Dadeland address seems like its going to suit him fine.

Outside of the three restaurants he's been in DD itself, he's already found

-- his closest bank branch
-- a second Publix
-- a chicken place (Pollo something or other)
-- a decent bbq joint
-- a tire repair place
-- AND a wheel/rim repair place

So if nothing else he seems to be getting acclimatized lol

Good to hear. My guess is the chicken place is Pollo Tropical. Though not my favorite, it can be addicting for some.
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Old 08-11-2020, 12:50 PM   #623
JonInMiddleGA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miami_fan View Post
Good to hear. My guess is the chicken place is Pollo Tropical. Though not my favorite, it can be addicting for some.

I checked ... good guess

And I imagine it'll be no surprise that his bbq joint I mentioned turned out to be Shorty's (the oldest in town, or so I gather)
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Old 08-24-2020, 01:37 PM   #624
JonInMiddleGA
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Dunno where this fits exactly, here seems like a reasonable choice.

I saw on FB last night where an old HS schoolmate had died, details & comments were all vague in the first couple hours. Turned out, I later saw, that she was killed in a car accident.

But the point of this post is that I immediately thought "suicide?". I had mentally flagged her as a candidate for that, as she'd lost a boyfriend to a wreck a couple years back, then Covid wiped out her own business, then Covid wiped out the company she went to work for after that. Her social media posts alternated between vaguebooking about "things" and posting selfies.

It's just kinda sobering? depressing? something? to realize that you kind of have a list of acquaintances that you have labeled in your head as suicide risks :/
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Old 09-01-2020, 01:09 PM   #625
JonInMiddleGA
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A relatively low-impact brain dump if you will

Be … something else | Jon's Three Cents
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Old 09-01-2020, 01:28 PM   #626
albionmoonlight
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA View Post
A relatively low-impact brain dump if you will

Be … something else | Jon's Three Cents

There's a saying that people on the Left love: "If you aren't outraged, then you aren't paying attention."

And your post made me think of that (and how much I hate that saying). Sometimes, if I am not outraged, its because I've managed to work really hard to find a peaceful place and get away from the outrage for a few minutes. And I really don't need to be made to feel guilty about it.
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Old 09-01-2020, 01:38 PM   #627
Kodos
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I think everybody needs to take a step back from the fray from time to time. When we went on vacation for a week, I did my best to avoid all news and instead spent that time reading Harry Potter books.
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Old 09-01-2020, 01:48 PM   #628
Radii
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Quote:
Originally Posted by albionmoonlight View Post
There's a saying that people on the Left love: "If you aren't outraged, then you aren't paying attention."

And your post made me think of that (and how much I hate that saying). Sometimes, if I am not outraged, its because I've managed to work really hard to find a peaceful place and get away from the outrage for a few minutes. And I really don't need to be made to feel guilty about it.

The way I view this is that I am outraged, pretty much all the time, at the current state of the country and the level of resistance to what I personally view as basic decency. So I do at a basic level agree with that saying.

However, everyone has a different capacity and ability to engage with that outrage in terms of staying informed and taking action to try to make the world a better place. So while I am outraged, and I do view my role in society as one to take advantage of how good I have it to try to do more for those who have less... sometimes there are just days or even weeks where I don't have it in me. I'd fall apart if I continued to engage with what's going on in the world.

Ideally I'd find a level of engagement where I can keep up with the world and find my ways to do good - whatever that means for me - at a steady, consistent level without cracking, but I haven't found it yet.


To me: "If you aren't outraged, then you aren't paying attention." - is moreso aimed at folks who have the capacity to make the world a better place but selfishly choose to ignore that and stay in their own bubble because they aren't personally impacted.


I can absolutely admit to some hypocrisy here. When it comes to creators (for me, that means on Twitch typically) that I support financially, anyone who is not using their platform to say something about current issues likely loses my support. I believe that's irresponsible. However, I also recognize the value of being able to lose yourself in ... anything else, as Jon put it, to escape when needed to keep the necessary balance.
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Old 09-01-2020, 01:49 PM   #629
Radii
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodos View Post
I think everybody needs to take a step back from the fray from time to time. When we went on vacation for a week, I did my best to avoid all news and instead spent that time reading Harry Potter books.

This is probably all I needed to say lol, but I like typing too much.
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Old 09-01-2020, 02:11 PM   #630
spleen1015
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Radii View Post
The way I view this is that I am outraged, pretty much all the time, at the current state of the country and the level of resistance to what I personally view as basic decency. So I do at a basic level agree with that saying.

However, everyone has a different capacity and ability to engage with that outrage in terms of staying informed and taking action to try to make the world a better place. So while I am outraged, and I do view my role in society as one to take advantage of how good I have it to try to do more for those who have less... sometimes there are just days or even weeks where I don't have it in me. I'd fall apart if I continued to engage with what's going on in the world.

Ideally I'd find a level of engagement where I can keep up with the world and find my ways to do good - whatever that means for me - at a steady, consistent level without cracking, but I haven't found it yet.


To me: "If you aren't outraged, then you aren't paying attention." - is moreso aimed at folks who have the capacity to make the world a better place but selfishly choose to ignore that and stay in their own bubble because they aren't personally impacted.


I can absolutely admit to some hypocrisy here. When it comes to creators (for me, that means on Twitch typically) that I support financially, anyone who is not using their platform to say something about current issues likely loses my support. I believe that's irresponsible. However, I also recognize the value of being able to lose yourself in ... anything else, as Jon put it, to escape when needed to keep the necessary balance.

How many do you support? I'm interested because I mostly feel the opposite. I don't want to listen to a lot of political commentary when I am watching someone on Twitch. Most of the people that I watch rarely talk about politics. Those that do aren't talking about more than a passing comment here or there.
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Old 09-01-2020, 02:39 PM   #631
Radii
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spleen1015 View Post
How many do you support? I'm interested because I mostly feel the opposite. I don't want to listen to a lot of political commentary when I am watching someone on Twitch. Most of the people that I watch rarely talk about politics. Those that do aren't talking about more than a passing comment here or there.


At one point I was subscribed to about 60 people in the music community. I'm at 20 subs now, mostly just friends. Unrelated to this stuff, in general I've dedicated more money to charity stuff over these things in the last 2-3 years.

I'm not really looking for political channels. But I'm looking for someone who has 60 people watching them every day, a discord of 500 people and a twitter following of 3000 people to type the words "Black Lives Matter" instead of saying "we don't do any politics here" - at a base level. None of the people I follow are overly political on stream - but some people intentionally avoid it because they're afraid it'll hurt their "brand" or viewership. For most of the people I follow, that's a problem for me. I'm not talking about "cancelling" anyone or anything, but I've got limited resources that I use to support creators and that's part of my personal decision making.
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Old 09-01-2020, 02:51 PM   #632
Kodos
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It's just another form of voting with your wallet, which is something I do a lot. If you are a vocal Trump supporter, you can be damn sure I am going out of my way to not put any of my money in your pocket.
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Old 09-03-2020, 10:22 PM   #633
sterlingice
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My wife is really taking it hard that an acquaintance has gone down the QAnon rabbit hole ("do your research!"). I sarcastically remarked "wow, I didn't expect to actually see one out in the wild". Like I get that there are a few people here and there that believe that sort of thing but you don't expect to actually see one, especially in the leftier parts of suburbia.

They just were not who I expected. If you had told me "liberal anti-vaxxer" in the Pacific NW "everything that goes in my body must be pure" vein, oh yeah: totally believable. White collar professionals but "granola"-y Unitarian hippies, sure. But that doesn't seem to fit the profile of your usual believer of #WWG1WGA.

SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out!

Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!"
Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"



Last edited by sterlingice : 09-03-2020 at 10:24 PM.
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Old 09-13-2020, 10:50 AM   #634
PilotMan
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Location: Seven miles up
Gotta get a post in here today. I am sort of lost with how to handle something with my Mom. I was at her home yesterday to replace one tv and install another one. I know I've mentioned that I feel like she's so very close to heading down an unrecoverable path as far as her independent life is concerned.

It's sort of a long story, but the short of it is that she is terrible at organization, and she's rapidly losing mobility. Her knees are shot, she's overweight, and the doctors won't replace her knees until she loses weight, which she's been really struggling to do. She lives alone, and goes up and down, between good and bad days, and hasn't really made any progress so that doesn't seem to be happening anytime soon. She can't lift more than about 10 pounds, can't really bend down or reach up high to get things clean, and she has some strong hoarding tendencies when it comes to food and paper. Her weak organization skills just make all that worse. She has to see it for it to exist, so everything is out.

She's embarrassed by it. Doesn't like anyone to come in her place except me. My wife hasn't been in there in a long time. My kids have been, but only for very short periods of time. She doesn't like workers coming in there, service people, nobody. She has dust covering everything, walls, surfaces, an entire room she really doesn't use except for storage. It's just sad. She's very good and being ok with her situation. I remember growing up with our house like this somewhat too.

{edit} I guess my thought process has always been that she needs to choose her life. Whatever that means. But it's really hard to know that she could be so much happier, healthier and could have a better life if some drastic changes happen now, but I'm not sure that she could handle all that mentally.
Anyway, I digress. I am an only child. I have no other support. She's only 72. It's not a healthy environment. I really don't know how to decide where to draw the line, or how to carefully navigate this situation. It's sad, and it's weighing on my mind.
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Last edited by PilotMan : 09-13-2020 at 11:09 AM.
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Old 09-13-2020, 11:25 AM   #635
Izulde
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Ask her if she wants help cleaning the place. Make it clear that she gets to call the shots and you won't do anything without asking first. Hoarding/unmaintained house in many cases is about security and control and because she trusts you enough to let you in, you can build on that trust to proceed slowly and carefully with cleaning/straightening/helping her organize.

Once the place is clean (or at least cleaner), you can help her organize by creating a clearly-defined, outlined list of daily and/or weekly chores that will be easy enough for her to handle on her own.
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Old 09-13-2020, 11:39 AM   #636
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I've had sit downs with her, explaining my concerns about things. She always says that she'll work on it, and she does for a bit, then can't maintain it. I have offered to help, for all of us to get in there and get it done, and explained all that to her. She's always very appreciative when things get done, but she is super stressed at the idea of getting rid of things, or trying to decide what to keep and what to let go of. I've never seen so many cookbooks. She is in denial about the status of things, and how much danger she's in. I've done things this year like help get her hand holds for her bathtub and shower, getting mobility aids, a new fridge, the tv's, cleaning things where I can when I'm there, but it's way too much for a few people. She needs to make some wholesale changes, and come to some acceptance about things, but she just doesn't want to, and I think that's the biggest hurdle right now.
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Old 09-13-2020, 09:40 PM   #637
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Since you mentioned remembering your house sort of being like that growing up, its probably not something that's going to just get fixed now with just her trying to clean or keep up with it after you help, no matter what you try. Some suggestions:

1) Helping to clean some when you're over there is huge, anything you can do to make any progress in a moment is likely appreciated.
2) Once the house is cleaned to the best of you guys' ability/willingness (on her part), would it be possible for her to hire a service once a week to come clean, just to prevent it from getting out of control again?
3) Does she see a psychologist? Would she be open to it if not?


Cleanliness/Organization/Self Care is a big problem of mine, I actually just got diagnosed with ADHD this year at age 43, and a lot of my issues with keeping things clean are classic symptoms of ADHD that I wasn't aware of. Not suggesting that's your mom's issue, but that I never would have gotten that diagnoses and proper medication for it without working with my psychologist like I've been doing for years now.

As someone who has a lifelong struggle with keeping my space clean in general, accepting that this probably won't get much better on her own and coming up with a longer term plan other than just getting things cleaned up this once is likely critical.
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Old 09-13-2020, 11:10 PM   #638
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Originally Posted by Radii View Post
1) Helping to clean some when you're over there is huge, anything you can do to make any progress in a moment is likely appreciated.
2) Once the house is cleaned to the best of you guys' ability/willingness (on her part), would it be possible for her to hire a service once a week to come clean, just to prevent it from getting out of control again?
3) Does she see a psychologist? Would she be open to it if not?


As someone who has a lifelong struggle with keeping my space clean in general, accepting that this probably won't get much better on her own and coming up with a longer term plan other than just getting things cleaned up this once is likely critical.

So after yesterday and thinking about everything this morning I decided I needed to go over there today and just take care of some of this. Cleaned, washed walls, vacuumed spider webs in every room on the walls and corners. She was very appreciative for the work that I did, and we talked again about the concerns that I've had and how dangerous I feel like the position that she's in. We have done #1 and I've told her someone will come over and haul trash out.

Regarding #2. One thing I mentioned to her was that I felt like she needed to get it cleaned up, right now, no matter the condition that it was in. That she needed to accept that the cleanliness was the most important, along with her health. Once that's done, she would have the pressure off to keep the regular stuff under control with a regular person coming, and she would want to get the rest of it under control. So that was what I tried to impart to her today.

Regarding #3. I am a big proponent of it. I have told her for years that she needed to, but she's been super religious and both had a distrust of therapists (very private, strangers, stuff like that) and the idea that only God or the Pastor would be worthy to help her. Finally last year she started talking with someone and the result was immediate. She's been off and on with Covid, but I've still stressed it.

I had her working with a professional organizer for a while, but my mom got sick, couldn't work with them, and then nothing got done, and all the money she spent was wasted. I've been blunt. Gotta get rid of stuff. She just can't keep 60 years worth of stuff that means something to her, when nobody else has any idea why, or what it means to her.

Radii, you're spot on it. I mean, nail on the head. I just hope that she can commit and makes these decisions and I'll feel better. We're so close to being empty nesters, the idea of starting to 'parent my parent' isn't so appealing.
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Old 09-14-2020, 12:15 AM   #639
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PilotMan View Post
I've had sit downs with her, explaining my concerns about things. She always says that she'll work on it, and she does for a bit, then can't maintain it. I have offered to help, for all of us to get in there and get it done, and explained all that to her. She's always very appreciative when things get done, but she is super stressed at the idea of getting rid of things, or trying to decide what to keep and what to let go of. I've never seen so many cookbooks. She is in denial about the status of things, and how much danger she's in. I've done things this year like help get her hand holds for her bathtub and shower, getting mobility aids, a new fridge, the tv's, cleaning things where I can when I'm there, but it's way too much for a few people. She needs to make some wholesale changes, and come to some acceptance about things, but she just doesn't want to, and I think that's the biggest hurdle right now.

Sorry you are going through this. I can't relate so am not qualified to give you any advice or pointers on how to work this through with your mother.

However, I would suggest maybe you consider speaking to a professional (e.g. geriatric specialist?) and asking how best to proceed with your mother? Your situation may not be that unique. Just my 2c.

Last edited by Edward64 : 09-14-2020 at 12:15 AM.
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Old 09-14-2020, 01:02 AM   #640
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I can relate a bit, just as an only child of a single mother who is/was not good at coping or taking care of herself. You have my sympathies, PM.

My mom spent 60 years building a foundation of furious & proffessional disbelief in the entire 'traditional' medical system, but also not at all taking care of herself, and late life has inevitably forced a colision of those two lifestyles & it is exhausting wrestling with those issues that are literally older than I am.
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Old 09-14-2020, 02:09 AM   #641
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We went through something very similar with my MIL. She was absolutely dead set against somebody coming in and cleaning biweekly (we just pay for our cleaning service to go over to hers the same day), and bitched about it for at least the first 3 months, but finally admitted one time to my wife that she secretly was very happy that her home was finally clean - the social aspect of it is good as well (especially right now during Covid), they play with and groom her dog and although she'll bitch still if they put something out of place, it's been one of the best decisions we've ever made for her. I hope you can get your mom into a good place, but I suspect it's going to have to have you playing the bad guy for a while for the sake of her health.
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Old 10-03-2020, 02:54 PM   #642
thesloppy
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For most of the pandemic I think my behavior has followed more of the depression model but recent events both public & personal over the last week seem to have shifted things back toward the anxiety spectrum. Not too surprising I suppose.

In my case I feel like I get stuck in a loop of casually checking emails/phones/text/news that should take 5-15 minutes, and extend that into hours/days (which of course only makes more anxiety).
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Old 10-10-2020, 09:11 AM   #643
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Last night might have been the best night non family related that I have had in 2020. First I had a really good group conversation with friends that I have had over 15 plus years via Zoom. We had deep conversations about all the tough topics of the day and how it affected everyone's lives. Then, the group jumped straight over to watching the basketball game, and talking shit. We even had the normal spouses/significant others popping in to say hi, tell us we were too loud etc. The only thing that missing was us just being in the same room with one another but even that was not that big a deal. Most of us are scattered around the world anyways

I am not sure when we will get a chance to do that again. Everyone's schedules just matched up yesterday. My life is such that I am not starving for just any human interactions in the way some of us are. I am thankful for that. But that particular group of people and the trust that has allowed for the openness that we have with one another despite some real differences of opinion filled a hole that I did not know I needed filled.
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Old 10-10-2020, 11:13 AM   #644
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That's awesome

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Old 10-22-2020, 05:19 PM   #645
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We're in some sort of semi-lockdown, just like we were in late March. I felt a bit down and went to this thread in an attempt to get a smile on my face. Long story short: it worked.
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Old 10-23-2020, 10:16 PM   #646
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What part? We can try to do more of that to keeping your spirits up.
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Old 10-23-2020, 10:29 PM   #647
RendeR
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Bleh, I'm literally hitting a low point right now. I'm fed up with everything. I'm sick of the left whining about teh right, the right lying through its collective shithole about fuck all everything.

I'm tired of being the only person everyone around me seems to expect to handle fuck all everything.

I'm tired of the Rorschach mural that is my current life cycle. Wake, eat, drive kids around, work all night, sleep, wake rinse repeat rinse repeat etc etc etc

it all fucking blends together. I have no interest in getting out of bed each day beyond NOT having everyone around me whine and complain that they don't have a meal or I have to decide something for them that they're completely capable of fucking deciding but are too lazy or don't WANT to do for themselves because "He'll do it"

Fuck it all.

just sick to death of living in this hate filled shit stained fucking world right now.
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Old 10-23-2020, 11:38 PM   #648
CrimsonFox
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i'm pretty much hanging by a thread
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Old 10-24-2020, 07:12 AM   #649
Kodos
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Hang in there, guys. We’re about to turn a corner toward normalcy. Biden is going to win, and vaccines are coming sometime next year. In the meantime we have sports to distract us a bit. We’ll get through this. Just get through each day that gets us closer to those things.
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Old 10-25-2020, 02:22 PM   #650
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What part? We can try to do more of that to keeping your spirits up.
It wasn't easy and may feel egocentric or unsensitive, but focusing om the fun, positive stuff, the attempts to cheer others up, that worked for me.
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