"That is so gay"

[kingnebwsu]

Having played a significant amount of Xbox Live and having worked in a retail environment for several years, this is a phrase I hear a lot. Sometimes it's just boiled down to "that's gay." I'm putting up a simple poll because I'm curious how many FOFC'ers use the word "gay" to describe something they don't like or something that bothers them.

I'm not going to judge people based on their votes, so be honest. It's a private poll, so nobody will be able to see what you voted. I just want an honest answer from my fellow FOFC'ers.

I probably need a strong disclaimer for a thread that could be super-controversial, so here goes...

I don't care if you think being gay is okay.
I don't care if you think being gay is the worst thing ever.

THIS IS NOT A REFERENDUM ON HOMOSEXUALITY!!!

I just want to know if this is a phrase that you use in your everyday life. If you feel like replying in the thread, try to keep your responses around the question at hand. Is it a phrase your friends/family people use? Is it a phrase you hear coworkers use? Is it a phrase you never hear used? That's the point of this thread. Stay on-topic, or I'm sure the thread will be closed/deleted.

Votes in the poll are the #1 thing I'm looking for. Thanks in advance and please (for the love of god) keep it clean

[st.cronin]

I never use it and have never heard it from somebody older than 12.

[Vince]

It's a phrase I use too often. There is no defense for the crudeness of the phrase, but here we go anyways...

On my floor freshman year (I lived in one of two 10-story off-campus dorms, we associated by 'floor'), there was an openly homosexual person. He was a great guy, and was my roommate for the two years following my freshman year. I'm not sure if he started it or not, but because he had become so comfortable with his sexuality, and the fact that we all supported him, the phrase "that's so gay!" was used often, more as a joke than anything else (and the phrase was used quite often by the person in question, as well).

I have many friends who are openly or privately gay, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for them, and I would never want to belittle them. Yet I still use this phrase, and though I mean no disrespect to them by saying it, I still feel bad every time I do.

[RailsFS]

I use it frequently, and I think it is one of those "generational" words. I hear it all the time when I'm out (and I'd say it is commonly used by many people, mostly male, up to around the age of 25). Then again, maybe it's a regional thing.

Oh yeah, I have to say I never use it when I'm on Xbox Live. Since one has to put up with the constant racism, swearing, etc., I figure I don't want to become one of the jackasses.....nothing worse than having to listen to an 11 year old trying to make fun of someone.

But yeah, I'd say in my area, with my age group (18-25), using the term "gay" is very common to describe something.

[RailsFS]

A little disclaimer: when using this term to describe something, it is almost never meant to be confused with anything "homosexual." Just to describe something stupid, uncool, lame, etc.

[Vince]

Originally Posted by RailsFS

A little disclaimer: when using this term to describe something, it is almost never meant to be confused with anything "homosexual." Just to describe something stupid, uncool, lame, etc.

Of course -- and to be honest, I usually only use the phrase around my little brother (23, one year younger than I am) or my friends from 8 North (my floor freshman year, the 8th floor of the north tower).

[SnowMan]

I hate it, and never use it. Our guild in WoW has gone as far as banning it from guild chat. It's use in online games is out of control, seems like all the kids use it these days. *sigh* I sound like an old man.

[korme]

If this thread doesn't get out of hand, then it's a sign of the apocalypse.

[Raiders Army]

Substitute retarded for gay and I wonder how this would turn out.

[jeff061]

Never use it, doesn't bother me from a offensive standpoint. It's not used to call someone or something a homosexual, it's just slang for stupid. People who overuse it tend to annoy me, it's just a low level and ignorant way to express your thoughts.

[Danny]

Originally Posted by jeff061

Never use it, doesn't bother me from a offensive standpoint. It's not used to call someone or something a homosexual, it's just slang for stupid. People who overuse it tend to annoy me, it's just a low level and ignorant way to express your thoughts.

Agreed. I am not the most articulate person you'll meet, but I am certainly able to express my thoughts without using words like this.

[Joe]

this thread is gay

[Noop]

I use it sometimes. But I use it to describe a stupid chain of events. Like getting dressed to go play basketball and it rains. I would say,"Wow thats gay as fuck oh well let me go play NCAA"

[Bee]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

I never use it and have never heard it from somebody older than 12.

Perhaps because I never hang out with anyone under the age of 35, but the only people I ever hear the term from are kids (and seeing it posted on message boards, by what I assume are also kids in most cases).

Personally, it's not offensive but it just sounds childish to my ears.

[Izulde]

I say it all the time. Usually to the tune of "Christ, that's fucking gay, dude."

[QuikSand]

It is a patently offensive and bigoted thing to say 100% of the time, and it's a shame that many otherwise sensible people are somehow unable or unwilling to see that.

[Draft Dodger]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

It is a patently offensive and bigoted thing to say 100% of the time, and it's a shame that many otherwise sensible people are somehow unable or unwilling to see that.

there's a lot of patently offensive and bigoted words that I like to use, usually more for shock value than anything else. this is one of them.

[Eilim]

complete tangent time that might ended up with me being flamed...

Was curious if anyone knew at what times "queer" and "gay" came into being slang terms for homosexuality, and which came first?

Dola Edit: as in which came first in being used as a slang term as such.

[MizzouRah]

I use it too much as well.

[sovereignstar]

Here's an example of when I'd use it:

Asking about towels on FOFC is so gay.

[Subby]

So what's worse? Saying "that's so retarded" or "that's so gay"?

[KevinNU7]

Every once in a while I'll catch myself saying "that's gay" and I'll cringe and try to correct myself.

[Radii]

I use it in text conversation more often than I should(from my EQ days I am sure), but I don't think I ever use it when speaking.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by Subby

So what's worse? Saying "that's so retarded" or "that's so gay"?

I think it's a tie. If you can't come up with something better than calling something "gay" or "retarded," go buy a dictionary. Both are sophomoric at best, downright bigoted and offensive at worst.

Originally Posted by kingnebwsu

THIS IS NOT A REFERENDUM ON HOMOSEXUALITY!!!

I think it is tagentially. I think someone who believes homosexuality is wrong is much more likely to regard that word "gay" as some kind of slur and use it as a slur. It's no different than in the Ozarks where I grew up when some of the old brain-dead hicks would try to insult a white person by saying they were a "n-----."

On the other side of the spectrum, someone who doesn't believe homosexuality is wrong I believe is more likely to perceive "gay" as a slur and will not use it in that context.

[jeff061]

I think it is tagentially. I think someone who believes homosexuality is wrong is much more likely to regard that word "gay" as some kind of slur and use it as a slur. It's no different than in the Ozarks where I grew up when some of the old brain-dead hicks would try to insult a white person by saying they were a "n-----."

On the other side of the spectrum, someone who doesn't believe homosexuality is wrong I believe is more likely to perceive "gay" as a slur and will not use it in that context.

I think most people who use the word freely don't even link it with homosexuality.

[sovereignstar]

Originally Posted by jeff061

I think most people who use the word freely don't even link it with homosexuality.

Bingo. I never link faggot with it either.

[Coder]

I don't know really.. it's kind of tricky.. I believe that overuse of a negative word could neutralize it. Whenever I use the word gay in a negative situation, it's more of a "joking" remark than actually being mad at someone.. I never find myself using the word if I'm really pissed off at something.

Interestingly enough, I - being a Swedish speaker - never use the Swedish word for gay (bög), but the English word... Maybe this is an indication that the word has already been "neutralized".. I don't know..

[Draft Dodger]

Originally Posted by Subby

So what's worse? Saying "that's so retarded" or "that's so gay"?

guess it depends on who you are asking.
I don't like using "retarded", but I'm not sure I could come up with any logical argument as to why "gay" is ok and "retarded" is not.
for that matter, I abhor racial epitaphs, but are they patently worse than "gay" or "queer"? even with those, are there different levels? I can't even type - let alone say - the "N" word. I can write words like "chink" or "spic" or "kraut" but wouldn't ever even think to use them in speech, and would cringe (or worse) if I heard them. But I'm totally comfortable calling my British friend a "limey" or making fun of his teeth. why?

[timmynausea]

Originally Posted by Draft Dodger

guess it depends on who you are asking.
I don't like using "retarded", but I'm not sure I could come up with any logical argument as to why "gay" is ok and "retarded" is not.
for that matter, I abhor racial epitaphs, but are they patently worse than "gay" or "queer"? even with those, are there different levels? I can't even type - let alone say - the "N" word. I can write words like "chink" or "spic" or "kraut" but wouldn't ever even think to use them in speech, and would cringe (or worse) if I heard them. But I'm totally comfortable calling my British friend a "limey" or making fun of his teeth. why?

Because British people really are inferior and have bad teeth.

[KWhit]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

It is a patently offensive and bigoted thing to say 100% of the time, and it's a shame that many otherwise sensible people are somehow unable or unwilling to see that.

Yep.

I think it is horrible to use a term meaning "homosexual" as a synonym for stupid, lame, ignorant, etc. I have no idea how people can justify this and think it is not offensive.

[Butter]

Originally Posted by Subby

So what's worse? Saying "that's so retarded" or "that's so gay"?

[bad joke]
That's so gay is worse, because the retarded people won't understand they're being insulted anyway.
[/bad joke]

*purchasing ticket for bus to hell*

[timmynausea]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

It is a patently offensive and bigoted thing to say 100% of the time, and it's a shame that many otherwise sensible people are somehow unable or unwilling to see that.

This is how I feel as well.

[John Galt]

Not suprisingly, I agree with QS as well.

For those who feel it isn't their intent to disparage gays with their language choice, I just want to point out that you can offend without meaning to. Your intent does not control how a great many people perceive your language choice.

[colt45]

I agree. In theory, it's a malicious and horrible term. But, honestly, I do find myself saying it occasionally. And it's always with the guys, watching the game, someone is whinning on the sidelines or something and the comment comes out. It's an odd, natural occurance. Not one I condone, mind you. But it does happen.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by jeff061

I think most people who use the word freely don't even link it with homosexuality.

Really? So if you walked around telling people you met that you were gay you wouldn't expect them to make a link either?

I've never understood folks who think that they're not insulting gay people by using 'gay' as a synonym for 'stupid', 'weak', 'sissy', etc. Is it really any different than telling somone not to be 'Jewish' and then reassuring them that "Don't worry, I wasn't talking about religion, I just meant to call you cheap and dishonest".

[RailsFS]

Originally Posted by colt45

I agree. In theory, it's a malicious and horrible term. But, honestly, I do find myself saying it occasionally. And it's always with the guys, watching the game, someone is whinning on the sidelines or something and the comment comes out. It's an odd, natural occurance. Not one I condone, mind you. But it does happen.

I think most that use "gay" often enough would agree with this. One of those things that you say, but realize you could (should) probably substitute another word in for it.

[vex]

I use to say it a lot. But I thought it had gone out of style a few years back, never really hear it now.

[jeff061]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Really? So if you walked around telling people you met that you were gay you wouldn't expect them to make a link either?

I've never understood folks who think that they're not insulting gay people by using 'gay' as a synonym for 'stupid', 'weak', 'sissy', etc. Is it really any different than telling somone not to be 'Jewish' and then reassuring them that "Don't worry, I wasn't talking about religion, I just meant to call you cheap and dishonest".

First off, just to re-iterate I never use the word.

Second off, being stupid does not relate to being gay and there is no stereotype involving being gay and stupid, at least not that I'm aware of. Unlike the connection that exists between money and jew.

That said, obviously I can't argue what is offensive to others. I had a lesbian teacher in high school and one of the students let the slang fly. She tore him apart, otherwise she was a very nice women with a long fuse.

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by jeff061

First off, just to re-iterate I never use the word.

Second off, being stupid does not relate to being gay and there is no stereotype involving being gay and stupid, at least not that I'm aware of.

That said, obviously I can't argue what is offensive to others. I had a lesbian teacher in high school and one of the students let the slang fly. She tore him apart, otherwise she was a very nice women with a long fuse.

It doesn't make any sense unless you are interpreting gay in any other way as derogitory towards gay people.

If you are saying something is lame, stupid or whatever you are equating that with gay. ie gay being derogitory.

Otherwise the phrase means "that is so happy" or something.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by jeff061

Second off, being stupid does not relate to being gay and there is no stereotype involving being gay and stupid, at least not that I'm aware of. Unlike the connection that exists between money and jew.

True enough. But what if I just started using "jew" as a synonym for stupid? Wouldn't that be offensive? How is this different?

[vex]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

True enough. But what if I just started using "jew" as a synonym for stupid? Wouldn't that be offensive? How is this different?

People already do.

[KevinNU7]

This thread is so jewish

[QuikSand]

I use the sideline skin, so to me this thread is so black.

[gottimd]

Originally Posted by KevinNU7

This thread is so jewish

[KevinNU7]

Originally Posted by gottimd

you gotta know I'm kidding right?

[gottimd]

Originally Posted by KevinNU7

you gotta know I'm kidding right?

I know.

[finketr]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

I use the sideline skin, so to me this thread is so black.

this thread is so yella.

[CamEdwards]

Originally Posted by jeff061

First off, just to re-iterate I never use the word.

Second off, being stupid does not relate to being gay and there is no stereotype involving being gay and stupid, at least not that I'm aware of. Unlike the connection that exists between money and jew.

That said, obviously I can't argue what is offensive to others. I had a lesbian teacher in high school and one of the students let the slang fly. She tore him apart, otherwise she was a very nice women with a long fuse.

Was she hot?

[McSweeny]

Originally Posted by CamEdwards

Was she hot?

now we're getting somewhere!

[Dutch]

This thread is so...American Christian white straight guy.