The One Positive Thing Challenge (Warning: Mental Health issues discussed)

[SirFozzie]

Most of you know that I've struggled with many different health issues over the years. Crohn's Disease, osteo and rhumatoid arthritis, ulcerative colitis, irits, depression and anxiety.

At the beginning of this month, I was in one of the worst down periods I could ever remember. Let's put it this way, more than once I fell asleep and my last waking thought was "I hope I don't wake up."

I mean, I didn't even watch most of the Pats superbowl because of the depression/anxiety. That says a lot. I posted to some of my friends on facebook:

Hey. a couple of you have reached out to me, and seem to be worried by my short answers. I'm just not feeling well (mentally or physically), and it's not you guys, it's just that I am trying to avoid interaction. Be patient with me, K?

And my friends here, there and everywhere (some from FOFC, others nearby, family too) responded. They didn't try to fix me, or try to minimize my issues. They just provided support and someone to talk to when I was ready.

The next day, someone gave me a suggestion to help deal with the depression.

She called it the One Positive Thing Challenge.

For the rest of February, every single day I would have to post at least ONE positive thing that made me happy.. even if it came from something not so good.

It didn't have to be something huge,just something positive to hold on to through the day.

For example, the one on the Monday after the superbowl was about the fact that it was a warm enough day in New England that I was able to have my window open today for several hours. (Trust me, when your life is spent in a single room, well two if you combined the trips to the bathroom and the kitchen into a "room"), being all cooped up in winter SUCKS.


So, in this thread, I'm going to discuss some of the "One Positive Things" that I came up with, and some things that I've come across in the past month.

[SirFozzie]

I'll start at the end. The one I just posted today 2/28:

so, today is the last day of the OPT challenge, and I want to joke that the one positive thing is that I don't have to come up with one of these for tomorrow. But I learned a lot during the last few weeks about coping strategies, dealing with depression and anxiety and trying to move forward no matter what. So my OPT is the line ESPN Baseball Writer Buster Olney closes every blog with. It is a simple affirmation, one that should be said everytime one wakes up in the monring.

"And Today will be better than yesterday."

(and the flip side, the last thing one should try to say before falling asleep is "And tomorrow will be better than today")

For those of you who don't know Coach Meyer, he was at one point the winningest basketball coach in NCAA/NAIA history (Coach K at Duke supplanted him), but he credited a severe car accident that cost him part of his lower leg for saving his life.

Why?

Because during the surgery to try to contain the injuries he sustained in that severe car crash, the doctors found that Meyer had cancer in his liver and bowels.

He came back two years later and earned that most wins record (surpassing Bob Knight).

He received the 2009 Jimmy V award for perserverance, and ESPN's Buster Olney wrote a book about/with him "How Lucky Can You Be: The Story of Coach Don Meyer". Although he passed away in 2014, during the OPT Challenge, I came across a PowerPoint presentation that he had on his website. Some of it is humorous. Some of it is Spiritual. All of it is, in its own way, useful.

https://www.coachmeyer.com/Informati...Powerpoint.pdf

The reason I knew about Coach Meyer? Olney (to this day) ends every column with the line "And Today Will Be Better than Yesterday")

[SirFozzie]

The first thing that drew my attention in the PowerPoint was 101 ways to deal with stress. Most of them work with depression too. In these cases, what I do (and probably most others) is to draw inwards. Get stuck in my own head.

These things are ways to get outside of that. You don't have to do everything. You just have to do something.

Here are the 101 ways he listed.

Get up fifteen minutes earlier
Prepare for the morning the night before
Avoid relying on chemical aids
Set appointments ahead –
Don’t rely on your memory…write it down
Practice preventative maintenance
Make duplicate keys
Say ‘no’ more often
Set priorities in your life
Avoid negative people
Use time wisely
Simplify meal times
Always make copies of important papers
Anticipate your needs
Repair anything that doesn’t work properly
Ask for help with jobs you dislike
Break large tasks into bite size portions
Look at problems as challenges
Look at challenges differently
Unclutter your life
Smile
Be prepared for rain
Tickle a baby
Pet a friendly dog/cat
Don’t know all the answers
Look for the silver lining
Say something nice to someone
Teach a kid to fly a kite
Walk in the rain
Schedule play time into every day
Take a bubble bath
Be aware of the decisions you make
Believe in you
Stop saying negative things to yourself
Visualize yourself winning
Develop your sense of humor
Have goals for yourself
Dance a jig
Say ‘hello’ to a stranger
Ask a friend for a hug
Look up at the stars
Practice breathing slowly
Learn to whistle a tune
Read a poem
Listen to a symphony
Watch a ballet
Read a story curled up in bed
Do a brand new thing
Stop a bad habit
Buy yourself a flower
Take stock of your achievements
Find support from others
Ask someone to be your ‘vent-partner’
Do it today
Work at being cheerful and optimistic
Put safety first
Do everything in moderation
Pay attention to your appearance
Strive for excellence NOT perfection
Stretch your limits a little each day
Look at a work of art
Hum a jingle
Maintain your weight
Plant a tree
Feed the birds
Practice grace under pressure
Stand up and stretch
Always have a plan ‘B’
Learn a new doodle
Memorize a joke
Be responsible for your feelings
Learn to meet your own needs
Become a better listener
Know your limitations and let others know them too
Tell someone to have a good day in pig latin
Throw a paper airline
Exercise every day
Learn the words to a new song
Get to work early
Clean out one closet
Play patty cake with a toddler
Go on a picnic
Take a different route to work
Leave work early (with permission)
Put air freshener in your car
Watch a movie and eat popcorn
Write a note to a far away friend
Go to a ball game and scream
Cook a meal and eat it by candlelight
Recognize the importance of unconditional love
Remember that stress/depression is an attitude
Keep a journal
Practice a monster smile
Remember you always have options
Have a support network of people, place and things
Quit trying to ‘fix’ other people
Get enough sleep
Talk less and listen more
Freely praise other people


PS. Relax, take each day at a time…you have the rest of your life to live.

Some are big, some are small. Some you won't be able to do, Some you won't WANT to do. But do something.

[SirFozzie]

I almost didn't post this part from Coach Meyer's PowerPoint on Facebook, several of my friends are what I would call militant atheists. Myself, I would describe myself as "Spiritual and religious, but not attached to any religon".

But I like this little check list of things from the Bible that can provide support. Even if you're not religious, perhaps checking these out will help you as well

Emergency Phone Numbers
These are more effective than 911. Call when . . .
You are sad, phone .................................................................................................... John 14
You have sinned, phone ...........................................................................................Psalm 51
You are facing danger, phone ..................................................................................Psalm 91
People have failed you, phone ................................................................................ Psalm 27
It feels as though God is far from you, phone ...................................................... Psalm 139
Your faith needs stimulation, phone ...................................................................Hebrews 11
You are alone and scared, phone............................................................................ Psalm 23
You are worried, phone............................................................................. Matthew 8:19–34
You are hurt and critical, phone ..................................................................1 Corinthians 13
You wonder about Christianity, phone ..............................................2 Corinthians 5:15-18
You feel like an outcast, phone ...................................................................Romans 8:31-39
You are seeking peace, phone...................................................................Matthew 11:25-30
It feels as if the world is bigger than God, phone...................................................Psalm 90
You need Christ like insurance, phone.........................................................Romans 8:1-30
You are leaving home for a trip, phone .................................................................Psalm 121
You are praying for yourself, phone ....................................................................... Psalm 87
You require courage for a task, phone..................................................................... Joshua 1
Inflation and investments are hogging your thoughts, phone....................Mark 10:17-31
Emergency Phone Numbers
You are depressive, phone ...................................................................................... Psalm 27
Your bank account is empty, phone ....................................................................... Psalm 37
You lose faith in mankind, phone.................................................................. Corinthians 13
It looks like people are unfriendly, phone................................................................ John 15
You are losing hope, phone................................................................................... Psalm 126
You feel the world is small compared to you, phone ..............................................Psalm 19
You want to carry fruit, phone.................................................................................. John 15
You want Paul’s secret for happiness, phone .......................................................... Colossians 3:12-17
You have a big opportunity/discovery, phone ......................................................... Isaiah 55
You want to get along with other people, phone ...................................................Romans 12
ALTERNATE NUMBERS
For dealing with fear, call .................................................................................... Psalm 3:47
For security, call ..................................................................................................Psalm 121:3
For assurance, call................................................................................................. Mark 8:35
For reassurance, call .........................................................................................Psalm 145:18
All of these numbers may be phoned directly
No Operator assistance is necessary
All lines to Heaven are available 24 hours a day

[SirFozzie]

And finally for right now, I wanted to share a comic someone sent to me when I was complaining that I couldn't get past a bit of writer's block. I wish I could embed it here. It's about being creative, but it also pertains nicely to dealing with depression and anxiety. Namely, the ways to defeat crippling self-doubt and depression.

https://imgur.com/gallery/qw02rv4

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by SirFozzie

I almost didn't post this part from Coach Meyer's PowerPoint on Facebook, several of my friends are what I would call militant atheists. Myself, I would describe myself as "Spiritual and religious, but not attached to any religon".

I get it (to the shock of some folks I sure I have a few of those amongst my friends as well) but at the same time this hesitation bugged me on your behalf. Not in any spiritual sense but in the "it's your wall doggone it" sense.

And in looking through the checklist of things from the powerpoint, I noticed this one "Believe in you"

I believe that tip fits nicely with what I was dying to say to you about this: it's your social media, you fully & completely own the right to say what you want to.

I hope you take that tip from the 101 and believe enough in yourself to avoid ever stressing about saying/doing/posting whatever you see fit.

[SirFozzie]

I think it's because right now, I just CANNOT handle conflict. I don't want people to start coming in and arguing it on my page. I mean, there's some drama going on over a bad neighbor in our apartment complex and it's just.. overwhelming, listening to the discussion, to the point I "retreat behind the walls" to try to avoid it (basically become non-communicative and not really thinking/listening/seeing, just existing.

[Izulde]

Here's the thing - on my own friends list, I've got a pretty strong contingent of atheists who run the gamut from at least one classical agnostic-atheist (who I love debating/discussing things with on another friend's wall. He's one of those hardcore science people but he's not a dick in conversation, which is phenomenal. We disagree on a number of things, but always feel intellectually invigorated afterwards) all the way to a number of militant atheists.

What ends up happening is the atheists (wherever they fall on the spectrum) don't get involved in any religious/spiritual posts I make beyond maybe a like/heart/wow reaction (I'm thinking of the crazy experience involving Mom's medical ID bracelet primarily here).

I suspect the same thing would happen here. And if they do confront you about it, cut them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. I have a lot of right-wingers on my friends list, too. I don't engage with them on political posts for the most part, other than a passing comment on Jon's contributions sometimes (and he does likewise).

[SirFozzie]

One of my now ex-Facebook friends(this was several years ago)actually caused a pen and paper RPG campaign I was running to break down (7th sea), because he would constantly be making comments about the church (both 7th sea and real world that were.. well, mocking and non-productive.

Gave him two warnings, and just stood up and said "Ok, we're done here." after another "Oh, does he like children?" "joke"

[SirFozzie]

So, another one of the OPT is how awesome Dogs are as people.

Now, before you give me that "WTF is Foz talking about" look, let me explain.

I live literally right next door to a bar (literally. My window looks into their bar). This bar puts on concerts every weekend. Most times, I'm able to ignore them and have my headphones on (As a side effect from the depression/anxiety, I find that I have to be in complete control of my environment. Even if I'm not listening to music at the computer, I have my headphones on, for example.)

So, I really wasn't feeling well, and was trying to sleep, but the concert on the otherside of my window kept me from relaxing and falling asleep. Even after it ended at 1 AM, I still couldn't get to sleep

(I find once that I'm TRYING to force myself to sleep, it's not going to happen).

So, I alternate between laying in bed, trying to sleep, and sitting at the computer going "I NEED TO SLEEP."

But my brother, who was actually overseas for work had the best idea on how to relax.

"Why don't you drive over to the house and see the dogs?"

So, at 3:30 in the morning, I drove over to my brother's house (about a 20 minute drive).

Afterwards, this is what I wrote:

Today's OPT is simple.

Dogs.

They don't mind if you're grumpy because the bar next door put on a concert so loud that half the building was complaining about them until 12:30 am. They don't know that you've been tossing and turning for hours afterwards trying to fall asleep.

They don't mind being woken up at 4 am when their big human that doesn't visit as much anymore shows up, hoping and praying that a change of scenery will help you relax.

They're just happy to see me anyway.

They're good dogs

I didn't get to sleep there (they both wanted attention and playtime), but it allowed me to dump stress and feel more... human I guess.

[SirFozzie]

and it's not all ups, trust me. This is the current down period.

Over the last few days, I have had severe pain and weakness in my bad right leg. So much so, that I couldn't sleep at times (there was no position that wasn't aggravating it). My doctor is out of office but I spoke with a nurse, and we agreed it sounded like a bad flareup of the rhumatoid arthritis

Yesterday, it disappeared for most of the day. Still somewhat weak, but no pain. So, another possible theory: A pinched nerve.

The last few hours, the pain has returned.. but comes and goes and it's on the knee. This, combined with attempting to sleep and failing miserably has me fucking shook. Full fledged anxiety/panic attack.

As I said in my last post, I need to feel in control of my environment to feel ok. Right now, I don't feel in control of anything. Healthwise. Thoughtwise. Whatever.

I took a lorazepam and I pray to God it takes effect quickly, because right now my brain's engine is going Warp 8, but it's stuck in neutral.

[SirFozzie]

So, they're reworking my brain meds regime, which is good. when it came ime to start looking at my health care plan the healthcare folks took a look at my current meds and threw their hands up in horror, saying "This med is a stimulant, this med is a regulator, I have no idea why they would put you on both"