Can't figure out my son

[Antmeister]

Okay, I rarely share stuff like this here, but to this day I can not figure out what will be the future of my son. To elaborate on this a bit more, there has been questions in whether he has autism.

Because there are different levels of autism, we could not tell if our son had it . The problem is that my son does not communicate his needs with words. He could talk, but words are used to identify things more than anything else. The unusual thing is that he has an amazing memory and has been writing words, knows his alphabet, operates a computer (even logs in with a password), plays computer games and reads simple sentences

So last year, we took him to get evaluated for possible learning disorders through the school district at the age of 3 to see if he some common traits to those with similar problems. Unfortunately they were confused as we were since he was able to read, recognize colors, animals and shapes and was anal about lining things up with the exact amout of distance between then, yet he didn't care to speak with anyone on any of the visits (except for us). So they put his down as inconclusive and he has been going to school under this program called PPCD (Preschool Programs for Children with Disabilities) since then.

He has now turned 4 years old and although I think he has made some progress, it won't be long before he goes to a standardized school. He is less anal about lining objects up and has gravitated to writing more. He greets you when you get home and seems to have to fascination with remembering processes whether it is operating a microwave, mimicking his father's dances to TV theme songs, turning off the lights when leaving the house, etc.

And once he learns that process, he wants to do it himself. So sometimes you will see him doing odd things like setting the timer on the microwave (just the timer) and counting down until it reaches zero and then yelling "Beep, Beep, Beep!". Or there are times when he goes on the computer and can spend hours typing out words and changing the font using a font manager.

On the other side of the coin, he is still not potty-trained and has yet to have a back and forth conversation.

Overall, I think he will be fine in the long run, but their are still too many lingering issues that still need to be resolved before kindergarten. And once you hit that level, teachers expect kids to be on the same page, which is where my concern comes from.

[MikeVic]

I don't know much about this. Can children this young have OCD? Maybe he's really introverted?

[Butter]

I would think the conversation thing is worrying... but I don't know if it's alarm time yet. Have you brought these issues up to your family doctor, or anyone besides the school district?

[Antmeister]

Originally Posted by MikeVic

I don't know much about this. Can children this young have OCD? Maybe he's really introverted?

When he was younger, he tended to do things himself, and was anal about lining things up or following a sequence. Not much of tht going on anymore. so I not sure if he has much of the OCD.

And as far as being an introvert, I would say that would have been true last year before he started school, because he has usually liked playing alone, but ever since he started the class, he tends to play with the girls in his class. And considering he doesn't like for his father or any male hold his hand, he lets all the females in his life do so. He even kisses the female teachers whenever they pick him up. The 3 instructors in his class call him the kissing bandit.

[MikeVic]

Nothing wrong with kissing ladies.

[Antmeister]

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

I would think the conversation thing is worrying... but I don't know if it's alarm time yet. Have you brought these issues up to your family doctor, or anyone besides the school district?

Well we don't necessarily have a family doctor. That's what sucks. I currently have two part time jobs. One is for a small business in which we can't afford to pay for benefits and the other is a job that I am contracted for. DC has a full time temp job at Apple. So benefits aren't really in our cards at this point in our lives.

And the people we talked to were actually certified specialists in learning disorders who happen to work with the school district. Not saying it is enough, just that we weren't just talking with only educators.

[Fidatelo]

I don't really have any knowledge in this area, but I'd like to wish you the best and that hopefully everything works itself out.

[Subby]

Is he going to be re-evaluated in the not-to-distant future? What does his pediatrician say about all of this?

Just from the information you are giving about the pre-k program he is in, he might qualify for coverage under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. This means that once he gets to kindergarten you and your wife work with his teachers and therapists (speech, etc.) to establish an Individualized Education Plan (IEP). An IEP helps teachers understand the special needs of a child with a learning disability. So at the very least, you can relax a bit knowing that your teacher understands your child has different needs from other kids in the class and might not necessarily be "on the same page" as everyone else.

Anyway - hang in there. A lot of times kids just take a while to pull it all together. I am still having issues as an adult.

[cartman]

So I guess my niece didn't scar him too bad last Thanksgiving.

He's obviously a smart kid, I've seen him pick up on things really quick. It just seems that in some places he is way ahead of his age group on things, and in other places he is lagging a bit behind other kids his age. He just appears to have a different progression pattern than most kids. I think you are correct about him being ok in the long run, and it will be an interesting journey along the way.

[wade moore]

DISCLAIMER:

I have absolutely no expertise in this. However, since my wife started teaching Kindergarten 4 years ago I have had many, many conversations with her about this and it is a topic that fascinates me. Before she starting teaching I had a huge misconception about these things and now seem to have a bit better understanding.

I hope that EF27 chimes in with anything he can as he has given me some good information about Autism in the past.

At any rate. First I'll echo Subby. Stay involved with the school and be sure that he has an IEP. Ensure that it is detailed and that they are FOLLOWING it. This is key. The schools can often slack off and not follow what the IEP says. Regardless of what is up with your son - even if it's just being a little delayed for now and he'll catch up - you want to take advantage of all of the services available.

Now.

On the does he have autism issue? From what you've described it seems to at least loosely fit my understanding of how Autism can manifest itself in a small child. My wife has had all range of children that are autistic, but there seem to be several common trends:

A) Normal socializing/communication are hard - particularly in dealing with emotions. One of the common traits of autism is that the children do not emotionally respond to situations in the same way that other children would. This may mean anything from no reaction to a situation that would make most children cry to throwing a complete fit at what seems like nothing.

B) They tend to excel academically. This often is because of their extreme focus - but there do seem to be potentially higher IQ's there as well.

C) Speaking issues specifically seem to be a common trend with the younger kids (like she sees). In the bit I've read this doesn't seem to be common at older ages necessarily, but for the younger kids it seems to be.

EDIT TO ADD THIS ONE: D) Routine is huge. They like to be in routine which includes repetition/mimicing.

E) It's nerve racking to diagnose, properly address, etc, etc.



So. I guess I'm not helping much except to say it seems like leaning towards Autism seems reasonable from what I know. But i also know that Autism is quite difficult to diagnose and also a label that is hard to get rid of. I would work with the school, doctors, experts, etc. closely. Make sure you are getting the care you think you need, but try not to fight them too much. Be sure they are being thorough, but be ready to accept a difficult diagnosis. I have heard too many stories about parents that refuse to admit what is going on with the child and it delays the child from getting the services they need.

[Neon_Chaos]

Originally Posted by Antmeister

Okay, I rarely share stuff like this here, but to this day I can not figure out what will be the future of my son. To elaborate on this a bit more, there has been questions in whether he has autism.

Because there are different levels of autism, we could not tell if our son had it . The problem is that my son does not communicate his needs with words. He could talk, but words are used to identify things more than anything else. The unusual thing is that he has an amazing memory and has been writing words, knows his alphabet, operates a computer (even logs in with a password), plays computer games and reads simple sentences

So last year, we took him to get evaluated for possible learning disorders through the school district at the age of 3 to see if he some common traits to those with similar problems. Unfortunately they were confused as we were since he was able to read, recognize colors, animals and shapes and was anal about lining things up with the exact amout of distance between then, yet he didn't care to speak with anyone on any of the visits (except for us). So they put his down as inconclusive and he has been going to school under this program called PPCD (Preschool Programs for Children with Disabilities) since then.

He has now turned 4 years old and although I think he has made some progress, it won't be long before he goes to a standardized school. He is less anal about lining objects up and has gravitated to writing more. He greets you when you get home and seems to have to fascination with remembering processes whether it is operating a microwave, mimicking his father's dances to TV theme songs, turning off the lights when leaving the house, etc.

And once he learns that process, he wants to do it himself. So sometimes you will see him doing odd things like setting the timer on the microwave (just the timer) and counting down until it reaches zero and then yelling "Beep, Beep, Beep!". Or there are times when he goes on the computer and can spend hours typing out words and changing the font using a font manager.

On the other side of the coin, he is still not potty-trained and has yet to have a back and forth conversation.

Overall, I think he will be fine in the long run, but their are still too many lingering issues that still need to be resolved before kindergarten. And once you hit that level, teachers expect kids to be on the same page, which is where my concern comes from.

He's just 4, Ant. I'm sure things are going to work themselves out when puberty hits.

[Julio Riddols]

Offering my totally uneducated opinion, perhaps there is a bit of savant in him.. I watched a documentary about a few savants in particular, including "Rain Man" himself.. And its not a prerequisite to be autistic- The way you describe him fascinates me, however.. His ability to pick up things quickly and his desire to repeat things he sees is interesting.. I guess in my own retarded way I am saying your kid sounds pretty awesome in that respect..

I hope I'm not coming off as too much of an idiot here..

Anyway- Best of luck going forward with him.. Sounds like a very unique child and he obviously has good, attentive parents.. I would think thats the best foundation for a successful and healthy future for him.

And I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by wade moore

I hope that EF27 chimes in with anything he can as he has given me some good information about Autism in the past.

I don't have a whole lot to say as it is impossible to diagnose this type of situation over the internet, but there are certainly a few warning signs here for something in the autistic spectrum (Asperger's possibly.) Theoretically speaking, I'd recommend considering a local medical school with a child psychiatry department for a full evaluation if possible, if private insurance isn't available. If private insurance is available, I'd recommend a good private child psychiatrist. The earlier the intervention with any of the Autistic Spectrum Disorders, the better the prognosis.

Edit to add: Lots of good info in Wade's post that I agree with (although B is rare in true Autism.) 3rd edit: In fact 60-70% of kids with full blown autism have Mental Retardation.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by cartman

So I guess my niece didn't scar him too bad last Thanksgiving.

He's obviously a smart kid, I've seen him pick up on things really quick. It just seems that in some places he is way ahead of his age group on things, and in other places he is lagging a bit behind other kids his age. He just appears to have a different progression pattern than most kids. I think you are correct about him being ok in the long run, and it will be an interesting journey along the way.

Originally Posted by Neon_Chaos

He's just 4, Ant. I'm sure things are going to work themselves out when puberty hits.

Just wanted to say I certainly hope what cartman and NC wish here is the case - so I didn't want to come off as all doom and gloom.

But I also feel like this is a potentially very legimitate issue that is manageable when properly diagnosed. The good thing about Autism (IMO) is that it's not a drug-based treatment. Therefore the worst thing that happens by seeking services early is that Ant's son gets some extra help and maybe learns some good coping techniques that will help him in life, even if he does not have autism.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

Edit to add: Lots of good info in Wade's post that I agree with (although B is rare in true Autism.) 3rd edit: In fact 60-70% of kids with full blown autism have Mental Retardation.

Interesting.

I probably know what this is attributable to. The kids with full-blown autism that have difficulty coping with the most basic things at age 5 end up in a special classroom and are not mainstreamed. The kids that are mainstreamed are either not severe enough that they've even been diagnosed or are manageable and excel academically for whatever reason.

She has had hrmm.. maybe 4 diagnosed kids in her classroom and one diagnosed kid that ended up in the autism class after her pushing for him to get help. He was not good at academics, the other 4 tended to be above their peers academically (although all over the board behaviorally) - so it may just be a small sample size issue.

[Eaglesfan27]

Again speaking theoretically, i.e. do not construe this as medical advice, the things that worry me in this case and ring a bell for something in the Autistic spectrum are:

- "Still hasn't had a back and forth conversation" - Kids that are socially anxious might be inhibited outside the home, but if a child hasn't ever had a back and forth conversation in the home by the age of 4, that is a very concerning issue.

- The lack of communication of needs with words. That is a hallmark of the autistic spectrum in young children and is one the cardinal symptoms.

- There are some OCD traits present. Kids with Aspergers tend to have a high percentage of OCD traits and tend to become VERY involved in their rituals and become very upset when their rituals are disturbed.

Again, I'm just offering some friendly thoughts, so please don't construe my thoughts as any medical advice, because they are not. I re-read all of the posts, and since benefits are an issue, I'd recommend seeking out the nearest medical school with a child psychiatry department for a full evaluation when possible.

As an aside, kids with Aspergers tend to be much more intelligent than kids with Autism. In fact, most experts believe Bill Gates has Aspergers.

[path12]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

In fact, most experts believe Bill Gates has Aspergers.

Judging by some of the stories that used to go around town about him trying to pick up women before his marriage that doesn't surprise me at all.

Ant, DC -- I have no advice but the fact that you recognize and are worried about what you see speaks wonders for the support level your son will have. Good luck.

[Godzilla Blitz]

Just to chime in from an educational perspective, the language issue raises a red flag, as does the lack of two-way communication.

I'd recommend carefully checking the schools your son can possibly attend. From what I've seen, the range of special education services and budgeting can vary considerably from district to district. Ask specific questions, and see if you can meet with teachers/administrators from the Spec. Ed. department.

On a positive note, with good educational attention and parental support, I've seen so many kids with similar characteristics do fantastically well in school, and make great strides in managing any disability.

And although I'd recommend that any parent stay in close communication with their kid's school, it's going to be especially important for you to do so. Even when things seem to be going well.

[st.cronin]

I was diagnosed with a mild version of autism when I was around 10 or so. Some of the communication issues you describe were present, and there were some other things too - I was pretty violent, for example. I didn't get much in the way of support, either parental or otherwise, but I guess I turned out OK; at the very least I'm not institutionalized, and most of the time I'm pretty happy. So, my only advice is to stay positive and do what you can.

[Lorena]

I've always been very affectionate with my kids, but I remember when Landon was about 1, he never reciprocated my hugs or kisses. He sorta just sat there in his own little world. Even though it sorta hurt me, I figured he'd eventually snap out of it and sure enough he did. Now he shows his affection all the time.

The signs of autism were very strong when he was younger (no eye contact, "own little world", repetive activities, etc), but as he's getting older, they've been going away... a little at a time, so I'm optimistic. If someone knocks on the door or he hears Ant or I coming in, he runs to the door to greet us with a smile and a very joyful "Hi Mommy/Daddy!" It's these small improvements that give me hope.

Thank you all very much for taking the time to read the original post and chiming in. We are very lucky to be part of such a great community.

[Buccaneer]

Ant, quickly reading your first post, it sounds a lot like my son at that age. When he was 4, he wasn't fully potty trained and could not speak in complete sentences. But he picked up things very quickly, including the PC. When he started school at 5, he had difficulties, to say the least. He would simply repeat the question back to the teacher and acted like he was in his own world (he would get up and start doing things in class on his own). Wel,, to make a long story short, he was diagnosed as having ADHD (emphasis on the H). Fortunately, our public school district has a good special ed staff and they worked with him for a few years. Plus, when he started 1st grade, he was on low dosage dextro-something. Between those two things, he started excelling in school and talking extremely well. I, too, had thought autism but no one agreed with me. It simply having a hyperactive brain tripping over itself until he learned to focus. Good luck, hope it all works out for you and DC.

[Ryan W.]

My son was in a very similar situation. He was evaluated in 2006 when he was 2 because he barely spoke and could not put together any coherent words. When he was evaluated, some of the evaluators did say that he could be autistic, but they could not be sure. When it comes to anything electronic, he is a whiz (started running the DVD player before he turned 3, played computer games at 3, loves playing Wii now). After working with an EXCELLENT developmental preschool teacher at our local elementary school, his speech is much more coherent and he can piece together sentences. I would definitely look into the services that your state (or county) offer, as my son has been going every day to the local elementary school for the last 2 years. An IEP is essential, as it gives measurable goals for both your child and the educators to measure against.

My son still is developing slowly. Some of his fine-motor skills are still not developed to his age-level (~1 year behind), but he has made tremendous strides and the teachers seem confident that he will do well in kindergarden in 1.5 years. The one thing that he loves is structure and he "lectures" people when something is not done properly (yes, including waving his finger at people, including adults).

My best to you and your family.

[Antmeister]

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

I don't really have any knowledge in this area, but I'd like to wish you the best and that hopefully everything works itself out.

Thank you sir. I believe it will work out, but you can never be sure what can be in store for us in the fuure, but for the most part I try to stay optimistic.

Originally Posted by Subby

Is he going to be re-evaluated in the not-to-distant future? What does his pediatrician say about all of this?

Just from the information you are giving about the pre-k program he is in, he might qualify for coverage under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act. This means that once he gets to kindergarten you and your wife work with his teachers and therapists (speech, etc.) to establish an Individualized Education Plan (IEP). An IEP helps teachers understand the special needs of a child with a learning disability. So at the very least, you can relax a bit knowing that your teacher understands your child has different needs from other kids in the class and might not necessarily be "on the same page" as everyone else.

Anyway - hang in there. A lot of times kids just take a while to pull it all together. I am still having issues as an adult.

Yeah, he will be re-evaluated after he leaves the program when he hits 5 years old. Because he is going through he normal development stages and didn't show a majority of signs in any direction, that is why he was inconclusive. When he reaches his next evaluation, there will be a much better handles on how far he has progressed. So thanks Subby. We will definitely look into IEP before he reaches kindergarten. Good info there.

Originally Posted by cartman

So I guess my niece didn't scar him too bad last Thanksgiving.

He's obviously a smart kid, I've seen him pick up on things really quick. It just seems that in some places he is way ahead of his age group on things, and in other places he is lagging a bit behind other kids his age. He just appears to have a different progression pattern than most kids. I think you are correct about him being ok in the long run, and it will be an interesting journey along the way.

LOL! Actually I liked your niece because she was the only kid I know that will challenge him. That was one strong-willed girl. Yeah, I'm glad you see it that way as well. I guess I am concerned for the short term. Already, we had people in his daycare believe that we aren't talking to him and therefore that is why he is lacking communication skills.

And yep, this journey will has already been interesting since his birth considering he was born with an extra digit on each hand, a small hole in his heart and a circular birthmark on his forehead.

Originally Posted by wade moore

DISCLAIMER:

I have absolutely no expertise in this. However, since my wife started teaching Kindergarten 4 years ago I have had many, many conversations with her about this and it is a topic that fascinates me. Before she starting teaching I had a huge misconception about these things and now seem to have a bit better understanding.

I hope that EF27 chimes in with anything he can as he has given me some good information about Autism in the past.

At any rate. First I'll echo Subby. Stay involved with the school and be sure that he has an IEP. Ensure that it is detailed and that they are FOLLOWING it. This is key. The schools can often slack off and not follow what the IEP says. Regardless of what is up with your son - even if it's just being a little delayed for now and he'll catch up - you want to take advantage of all of the services available.

Now.

On the does he have autism issue? From what you've described it seems to at least loosely fit my understanding of how Autism can manifest itself in a small child. My wife has had all range of children that are autistic, but there seem to be several common trends:

A) Normal socializing/communication are hard - particularly in dealing with emotions. One of the common traits of autism is that the children do not emotionally respond to situations in the same way that other children would. This may mean anything from no reaction to a situation that would make most children cry to throwing a complete fit at what seems like nothing.

B) They tend to excel academically. This often is because of their extreme focus - but there do seem to be potentially higher IQ's there as well.

C) Speaking issues specifically seem to be a common trend with the younger kids (like she sees). In the bit I've read this doesn't seem to be common at older ages necessarily, but for the younger kids it seems to be.

EDIT TO ADD THIS ONE: D) Routine is huge. They like to be in routine which includes repetition/mimicing.

E) It's nerve racking to diagnose, properly address, etc, etc.

So. I guess I'm not helping much except to say it seems like leaning towards Autism seems reasonable from what I know. But i also know that Autism is quite difficult to diagnose and also a label that is hard to get rid of. I would work with the school, doctors, experts, etc. closely. Make sure you are getting the care you think you need, but try not to fight them too much. Be sure they are being thorough, but be ready to accept a difficult diagnosis. I have heard too many stories about parents that refuse to admit what is going on with the child and it delays the child from getting the services they need.

Well and that's the confusing part. Only part of that applies to him at this stage. Most that deal with communiction. If I am ask him if he is hungry, he does not respond. However, if I ask him if he wants toast, he will book it to the refrigerator and want to make it himself. Or if he gets hungry, he will tell you the item he wants instead of saying he is hungry or in some cases, he would rather lead you to the frig and point out the things he wants.

And as far as emotionally, part of that was true was he was very young, but now he is a hugger, kisser and gets pissed if you tell him to stop doing something. It's not a fact that he doesn't understand. It just appears as if he doesn't care to. Not quite sure if it is Autism or not and the specialists down here can't figure it out either.

Originally Posted by Neon_Chaos

He's just 4, Ant. I'm sure things are going to work themselves out when puberty hits.

Ugh, I don't even want to think about that stage right now.

Originally Posted by Julio Riddols

Offering my totally uneducated opinion, perhaps there is a bit of savant in him.. I watched a documentary about a few savants in particular, including "Rain Man" himself.. And its not a prerequisite to be autistic- The way you describe him fascinates me, however.. His ability to pick up things quickly and his desire to repeat things he sees is interesting.. I guess in my own retarded way I am saying your kid sounds pretty awesome in that respect..

I hope I'm not coming off as too much of an idiot here..

Anyway- Best of luck going forward with him.. Sounds like a very unique child and he obviously has good, attentive parents.. I would think thats the best foundation for a successful and healthy future for him.

And I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

Thanks for that. My mother loves to tell me about how Einstein grew up because apparently he actually spoke later in life.

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

I don't have a whole lot to say as it is impossible to diagnose this type of situation over the internet, but there are certainly a few warning signs here for something in the autistic spectrum (Asperger's possibly.) Theoretically speaking, I'd recommend considering a local medical school with a child psychiatry department for a full evaluation if possible, if private insurance isn't available. If private insurance is available, I'd recommend a good private child psychiatrist. The earlier the intervention with any of the Autistic Spectrum Disorders, the better the prognosis.

Edit to add: Lots of good info in Wade's post that I agree with (although B is rare in true Autism.) 3rd edit: In fact 60-70% of kids with full blown autism have Mental Retardation.

Hmmm....I will definitely see if there is anything in the area. Thanks sir.

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

Again speaking theoretically, i.e. do not construe this as medical advice, the things that worry me in this case and ring a bell for something in the Autistic spectrum are:

- "Still hasn't had a back and forth conversation" - Kids that are socially anxious might be inhibited outside the home, but if a child hasn't ever had a back and forth conversation in the home by the age of 4, that is a very concerning issue.

- The lack of communication of needs with words. That is a hallmark of the autistic spectrum in young children and is one the cardinal symptoms.

- There are some OCD traits present. Kids with Aspergers tend to have a high percentage of OCD traits and tend to become VERY involved in their rituals and become very upset when their rituals are disturbed.

Again, I'm just offering some friendly thoughts, so please don't construe my thoughts as any medical advice, because they are not. I re-read all of the posts, and since benefits are an issue, I'd recommend seeking out the nearest medical school with a child psychiatry department for a full evaluation when possible.

As an aside, kids with Aspergers tend to be much more intelligent than kids with Autism. In fact, most experts believe Bill Gates has Aspergers.

Yeah, I should have elaborated on this more. He communicates when he wants something. I mentioned it above, but I will elaborate a bit more. When he is hungry this is how he communicates:

Landon: (smacks or taps Daddy's arm): Daddy, come on.
Me: Yes, Landon.
Landon: Daddy, come on. (makes eye contact with me to see if I am following).
Me: (won't follow the first time) Landon, are you hungry?
Landon: (starts to whine because I am not following) Daddy, come on!
Me: (follows him to the kitchen) Okay Landon, what do you want?
Landon: (points hand to freezer) Pancakes please!
Me: Landon, it's dinnertime, you can't have frozen pancakes for dinner.
Landon: (seeing that I am not getting the pancakes) Pancakes!
Me: Landon, do you want brisket or chicken or mac and cheese?
Landon: (knowing that I am not getting the pancakes) Mac and Cheese!

Take note that he never uses sentences and he uses a number of non-verbal cues to communicate. He can't tell you if he is hungry. He won't tell you if he needs to be changed. Instead he will just bring you a pull-up if he is uncomfortable. But I never could ask him how he is doing, how does he feel or questions that don't deal with actions.

Originally Posted by path12

...Ant, DC -- I have no advice but the fact that you recognize and are worried about what you see speaks wonders for the support level your son will have. Good luck.

Thanks sir.

Originally Posted by Godzilla Blitz

Just to chime in from an educational perspective, the language issue raises a red flag, as does the lack of two-way communication.

I'd recommend carefully checking the schools your son can possibly attend. From what I've seen, the range of special education services and budgeting can vary considerably from district to district. Ask specific questions, and see if you can meet with teachers/administrators from the Spec. Ed. department.

On a positive note, with good educational attention and parental support, I've seen so many kids with similar characteristics do fantastically well in school, and make great strides in managing any disability.

And although I'd recommend that any parent stay in close communication with their kid's school, it's going to be especially important for you to do so. Even when things seem to be going well.

Well we are lucky enough to be in one of the better school districts out here. In fact we were looking into school districts primarily for my daughter before moving out here, but it is working out for my son as well.

Originally Posted by st.cronin

I was diagnosed with a mild version of autism when I was around 10 or so. Some of the communication issues you describe were present, and there were some other things too - I was pretty violent, for example. I didn't get much in the way of support, either parental or otherwise, but I guess I turned out OK; at the very least I'm not institutionalized, and most of the time I'm pretty happy. So, my only advice is to stay positive and do what you can.

Did not know that. Very encouraging to know. Thanks Mr. Cronin.0

Originally Posted by lighthousekeeper

introverted - check
doesn't talk much - check
great intelligence - check
uses computer - check
plays computer games - check


sounds pretty much like the rest of us. you should get him an fofc account and sign him up an online ootp league.

He has already IM'd some people with random gibberish under DC's account many times. That may be enough.

Originally Posted by Buccaneer

Ant, quickly reading your first post, it sounds a lot like my son at that age. When he was 4, he wasn't fully potty trained and could not speak in complete sentences. But he picked up things very quickly, including the PC. When he started school at 5, he had difficulties, to say the least. He would simply repeat the question back to the teacher and acted like he was in his own world (he would get up and start doing things in class on his own). Wel,, to make a long story short, he was diagnosed as having ADHD (emphasis on the H). Fortunately, our public school district has a good special ed staff and they worked with him for a few years. Plus, when he started 1st grade, he was on low dosage dextro-something. Between those two things, he started excelling in school and talking extremely well. I, too, had thought autism but no one agreed with me. It simply having a hyperactive brain tripping over itself until he learned to focus. Good luck, hope it all works out for you and DC.

Wow! Never even thought about ADHD. Hmmm... Yet again, this is very encouraging to hear.

[Lorena]

Originally Posted by Ryan W.

My son was in a very similar situation. He was evaluated in 2006 when he was 2 because he barely spoke and could not put together any coherent words. When he was evaluated, some of the evaluators did say that he could be autistic, but they could not be sure. When it comes to anything electronic, he is a whiz (started running the DVD player before he turned 3, played computer games at 3, loves playing Wii now). After working with an EXCELLENT developmental preschool teacher at our local elementary school, his speech is much more coherent and he can piece together sentences. I would definitely look into the services that your state (or county) offer, as my son has been going every day to the local elementary school for the last 2 years. An IEP is essential, as it gives measurable goals for both your child and the educators to measure against.

My son still is developing slowly. Some of his fine-motor skills are still not developed to his age-level (~1 year behind), but he has made tremendous strides and the teachers seem confident that he will do well in kindergarden in 1.5 years. The one thing that he loves is structure and he "lectures" people when something is not done properly (yes, including waving his finger at people, including adults).

My best to you and your family.

yeah i'm sorta dreading when he starts kindergarten, I'm a little overprotective, but his teachers say he's doing fine.

I found these pictures when Landon went through that lining up "phase" he hasn't done it in a while though, now he's more interested computers and writing:





He would line up pencils, crayons, he'd even make letter with them. It's fascinating sometimes to wonder what's going on in his little head... why is he so anal about lining things up so perfectly?

[Antmeister]

Originally Posted by Ryan W.

My son was in a very similar situation. He was evaluated in 2006 when he was 2 because he barely spoke and could not put together any coherent words. When he was evaluated, some of the evaluators did say that he could be autistic, but they could not be sure. When it comes to anything electronic, he is a whiz (started running the DVD player before he turned 3, played computer games at 3, loves playing Wii now). After working with an EXCELLENT developmental preschool teacher at our local elementary school, his speech is much more coherent and he can piece together sentences. I would definitely look into the services that your state (or county) offer, as my son has been going every day to the local elementary school for the last 2 years. An IEP is essential, as it gives measurable goals for both your child and the educators to measure against.

My son still is developing slowly. Some of his fine-motor skills are still not developed to his age-level (~1 year behind), but he has made tremendous strides and the teachers seem confident that he will do well in kindergarden in 1.5 years. The one thing that he loves is structure and he "lectures" people when something is not done properly (yes, including waving his finger at people, including adults).

My best to you and your family.

Okay, I am an idiot. For some reason, these acronyms are jacking me up. Landon is currently following an IEP. One was made up for him after his evaluation and has been updated during the year. His PPCD class does just that. However in regards to speech, it has definitely improved since he started, but he hasn't gotten to full sentences. Hey and good job with your son.

[Mustang]

Originally Posted by Dodgerchick

He would line up pencils, crayons, he'd even make letter with them. It's fascinating sometimes to wonder what's going on in his little head... why is he so anal about lining things up so perfectly?

To this day I still do this (minus the crayons) and I'm 37... If I see something on someone's desk, it doesn't bother me or anything, but if I'm straightening up the house or just fiddling around (like with a stack of coins), I'll arrange items in some symmetrical pattern. Why? I have no idea other than I just like to.

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by Dodgerchick

yeah i'm sorta dreading when he starts kindergarten, I'm a little overprotective, but his teachers say he's doing fine.

I found these pictures when Landon went through that lining up "phase" he hasn't done it in a while though, now he's more interested computers and writing:





He would line up pencils, crayons, he'd even make letter with them. It's fascinating sometimes to wonder what's going on in his little head... why is he so anal about lining things up so perfectly?

I've already said this a million times, but I'll say it again, I'll never try to diagnose someone over the internet. That being said, kids with Aspergers and Autism tend to be very focused on rituals such as lining things up (they usually like to knock them over after they line up.) They can entertain themselves for hours and hours playing like this, and often prefer this type of play to play with other kids.

Of course, kids with Autism and Aspergers generally are not very affectionate and do not make eye contact. It's a tricky diagnosis because there are often conflicting symptoms. Anyway, best of luck to both of you and regardless of whatever the diagnosis ends up being, I'm sure that Landon will do great because he has two great caring concerned parents.

[Lorena]

Eh.. sorry, that was more of a rhetorical question.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

I've already said this a million times, but I'll say it again, I'll never try to diagnose someone over the internet. That being said, kids with Aspergers and Autism tend to be very focused on rituals such as lining things up (they usually like to knock them over after they line up.) They can entertain themselves for hours and hours playing like this, and often prefer this type of play to play with other kids.

And to add my 2nd hand experience from the school system - this often attributes to what seems to be the biggest problem in school (at least at the younger grades) for mainstreamed children with Autism - they do good when going through the routines of the day, but if the routine changes for some reason (field trip, assembly, switching the order of lessons, etc) it can cause a lot of stress and a very negative reaction from the child.

Of course, kids with Autism and Aspergers generally are not very affectionate and do not make eye contact. It's a tricky diagnosis because there are often conflicting symptoms. Anyway, best of luck to both of you and regardless of whatever the diagnosis ends up being, I'm sure that Landon will do great because he has two great caring concerned parents.

You can't overstate the bolded sentence enough. Before my wife started teaching I thought people/children with autism were basically destined to be non-functioning members of society.

Now I know that it is often quite the opposite and that having the right adults in the child's life goes a huge way to making them successful.

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by wade moore

You can't overstate the bolded sentence enough. Before my wife started teaching I thought people/children with autism were basically destined to be non-functioning members of society.

Now I know that it is often quite the opposite and that having the right adults in the child's life goes a huge way to making them successful.

As a rebuttal I just want to point out that my parents basically abandoned me as a child - I realize that proves nothing, but... I think in general parents get too much blame when things go wrong. Do the best you can and stay positive.

[Autumn]

Lots of good points here. I'll throw in something completely random that has to do with my nephew, just becuase until it happened to him there's no reason I or anyone I know would have thought about it.

My nephew had some qualities like you're talkinga bout in your son. At some point he got a vision test and they realized taht he had some serious developmental problems with his vision, one of his eyes wasn't working right. He's since gotten glasses, they've done surgery, he wears a patch part time, a lot of things to correct his vision.

We were amazed to see all the differences it made. Things that seemed strangely antisocial, or bizarre behavior apparently had to do with him coping wiht not relaly being able to see well, and trying to compensate. We realized he couldn't really tell faces apart well, lined things up so that he'd know right where they were, etc. He also hadn't potty trained yet, because it was too hard with his vision.

Yet the thing is nobody had a clue he had a vision problem, it wasn't apparent at all, yet was causing all these things we chalked up to personality. It may be worth checking into, just because I don't think a doctor would look into that based on the symptoms you're describing, yet it could be related.

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

As a rebuttal I just want to point out that my parents basically abandoned me as a child - I realize that proves nothing, but... I think in general parents get too much blame when things go wrong. Do the best you can and stay positive.

While I don't think this is the thread for this debate, I think that parents can be a very strong, protective, positive force in a child's life or an incredibly negative destructive force, or anywhere in between. Some children can be resilient and overcome the negative force when it is present. Other children turn out bad no matter how great the parents are. However, I think a child's chances are much better when they have a positive parental figure and even better when they have 2 (just because it is overwhelming for most single parents to be everything to a child while working to pay the bills as well.)

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

I think in general parents get too much blame when things go wrong.

I 100% disagree with this, but here isn't the place to have it out .

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

While I don't think this is the thread for this debate, I think that parents can be a very strong, protective, positive force in a child's life or an incredibly negative destructive force, or anywhere in between Some children can be resilient and overcome the negative force when it is present. Other children turn out bad no matter how great the parent's are. However, I think a child's chances are much better when they have a positive parental figure and even better when they have 2 (just because it is overwhelming for most single parents to be everything to a child while working to pay the bills as well.)

I don't disagree, but I believe that one of the challenges a parent faces is the unrealistic pressure to actually be a great parent.

[Buccaneer]

Ah, forgot about the lining up things. My son had been doing that ever since he was 1. His favorite was the matchbox cars. We had hundreds of them and he would spend hours lining them up perfectly. He doesn't do that much anymore except he would line up a box of those plastic football helmets: by division, by color, by favorites, by whatever. It was interesting and allowed him to spend a little time focusing on something.

[Ryan W.]

Originally Posted by Antmeister

Okay, I am an idiot. For some reason, these acronyms are jacking me up. Landon is currently following an IEP. One was made up for him after his evaluation and has been updated during the year. His PPCD class does just that. However in regards to speech, it has definitely improved since he started, but he hasn't gotten to full sentences. Hey and good job with your son.

Sounds like you guys are doing the right things with your son as well.

I live in a world of acronyms. If anyone else works with the USG, you know what I am talking about...

[SteveMax58]

Wow Ant & DC...if I were to type up a description of my son, about 4-6 months ago...I dont think I would have edited 1 word your 1st post.

My oldest son, Gregory, is also 4 now(just turned 4 in March) and he was nearly identical, and still is in many ways. The lining up of objects, the desire not to talk, strangely comfortable not being potty trained, always gravitates and plays with girls, does not speak entire sentences, did not walk until 16 months(seemingly because he didnt "want" to), using the computer at 2, he could actually completely hook up the PS2 to the TV(complete with a/v wires, power, mem-cards, controllers, etc.) by age 2 1/2, understands complex instructions yet will not respond to simple questions(he was the same with not answering to being "hungry", but answers to wanting "waffles"), wants to do every ritual like opening the door for the dog and gets VERY upset if you dont let him do it, etc.

We had his hearing checked when he was 2 as this was the peak of his non-response period(he scored significantly above average) and then had him tested for autism (inconclusive, they did not believe he had autism based on his apparent intellect, which may coincide with what EF27 mentioned). Our pediatrician also said he does not see a reason to be concerned about autism or any learning disabilities and to just be very observant of his speech progress.

But it was difficult for my wife or me to understand why our otherwise "brilliant" son could not seemingly talk like other kids did(his cousins, neighbors), or be even remotely willing to sit on a toilet (he was too large for the potty seat by 4). As a matter of fact, our younger son(Jacob,22 months younger than our oldest) could speak words more clearly(the words that he did know, anyway), was willing to try potty-training, etc.

Well...like everything else that he did later, he is now potty trained as of late March(once he put a real effort, he learned quickly with very few accidents over a week or 2) and is now speaking in semi-complete sentences occassionally(and doing better each day/week it seems). He still doesnt use any more words than he needs to, but he now understands the "need" to communicate something more complicated than "I want waffles".

I wish I could offer some key insight(I could still use some TBH), but I really have just recently gone from thinking "we are just terrible parents" to "our son is just going to learn in a different way than others"(and I still occassionally go back & forth), but I dont believe thats such a bad thing really since I have always felt like I had an ability to absorb and learn very rapidly...but only in a precise way which only seems to work for me(nobody else that I have really met). It probably helps me to understand him better, since I feel like I have many of the same traits as him and perhaps I just "adapted", despite my feeling that my parents probably did not recognize some learning differences that I think I had growing up. Maybe this is more common than I realize?

Anyway, sorry for the novel...and while I'm certainly no expert or authority to listen to... I just wanted to let you guys know that you arent the only parents out there with the same thoughts and concerns. Perhaps you just have a really bright son who may have an unusual learning pattern, which may in fact be the reason he is capable of great things if he applies himself properly. Best wishes for you & your son.

[Ryan W.]

It's funny that all of our sons are roughly the same age (4) and they all exhibit similar traits. My son was also more comfortable around girls then boys (he has 2 older sisters). He does line things up (he and his brother line up their Thomas trains all the time and love sorting coins) as well and his younger brother is picking stuff up quicker than his older brother.

[Buccaneer]

Amazing. Maybe FOFC has some effect on our son's at 4?

[MacroGuru]

Wow...this post has me thinking about my 7 year old.

Not to threadjack...but It might help...

My wife and I are both ADHD and have been managing it for the past 3 years with adderall, but I never took medicine as a child, my mother felt it would curb me being me.

Onto my son, we have always thought he has had it, never taken him to get diagnosed. But he is extremely intelligent, gets bored in class easy. And actually has some facial ticks, when you are telling him something he already knows or is bored with you...

Tourettes has been brought up by a lot of people with him doing the facial ticks, but if you remind him he is doing it, he completely stops, and doesn't have to focus on it. So I rule that out.

He really never communicates to us a lot, I mean he can talk, hold a conversation, but chooses to never talk. But he has a short fuse emotionally. He can go off at a moments notice in a variety of ways, anger, sad, jealousy, envy...he can run the whole gamut there.

I have been trying to be like my mother, but I think it's time to get him in to a dr....

[Antmeister]

Originally Posted by SteveMax58

Wow Ant & DC...if I were to type up a description of my son, about 4-6 months ago...I dont think I would have edited 1 word your 1st post.

My oldest son, Gregory, is also 4 now(just turned 4 in March) and he was nearly identical, and still is in many ways.

Wow....son is only a month younger than yours since his birthday was in April.

The lining up of objects, the desire not to talk, strangely comfortable not being potty trained, always gravitates and plays with girls, does not speak entire sentences, did not walk until 16 months(seemingly because he didnt "want" to), using the computer at 2, he could actually completely hook up the PS2 to the TV(complete with a/v wires, power, mem-cards, controllers, etc.) by age 2 1/2, understands complex instructions yet will not respond to simple questions(he was the same with not answering to being "hungry", but answers to wanting "waffles"), wants to do every ritual like opening the door for the dog and gets VERY upset if you dont let him do it, etc.

Okay....very, very odd since I didn't mention these two at all in any of my posts but this describes my son to a T. He walked late as well but we knew damn well he could since he control himself sitting down. What my son loved to do is use people to get to area he could otherwise not reach so he would reach out to you if you were near something he wanted.

And yes, he likes to lock the door when we get home, shut it closed after us, close the car door, unbuckle his car seat and shut down the computer by himself. If you do it, he gets pissed off because he wants to do it.

What's funny is that it started when one of us left home and he started wailing. We figured that is must have been seperation anxiety or something, but then one day his mother had left and he quickly bolted to the door and slammed it shut so that he could do it before I could. When he walked back calmly into the living room with a smile on his face, that is when I figured that was what he was crying about.

We had his hearing checked when he was 2 as this was the peak of his non-response period(he scored significantly above average) and then had him tested for autism (inconclusive, they did not believe he had autism based on his apparent intellect, which may coincide with what EF27 mentioned). Our pediatrician also said he does not see a reason to be concerned about autism or any learning disabilities and to just be very observant of his speech progress.

Okay....just wow.

But it was difficult for my wife or me to understand why our otherwise "brilliant" son could not seemingly talk like other kids did(his cousins, neighbors), or be even remotely willing to sit on a toilet (he was too large for the potty seat by 4). As a matter of fact, our younger son(Jacob,22 months younger than our oldest) could speak words more clearly(the words that he did know, anyway), was willing to try potty-training, etc.

In our case, he has an older sister who developed in speech and walking way ahead of time and currently has a strange attraction for horror stories, death and natural disasters.

Well...like everything else that he did later, he is now potty trained as of late March(once he put a real effort, he learned quickly with very few accidents over a week or 2) and is now speaking in semi-complete sentences occassionally(and doing better each day/week it seems). He still doesnt use any more words than he needs to, but he now understands the "need" to communicate something more complicated than "I want waffles".

Okay this stuff is actually really encouraging. I thought that maybe there would be just one person with a similar situation, but it's crazy to see this many.

Oh and last night (no joke), my son wrote something on his magnetic doodle pad (one of his favorite toys). He wrote I am hungry, showed it to me and the wife and read it outloud slapping himself on the chest. Me and DC looked at one another since we had just posted this recently and I said he never expressed things such as this. But, of course, he wasn't actually hungry. So now we are wondering if he just recently learned that at school because that was a crazy coincidence.

I wish I could offer some key insight(I could still use some TBH), but I really have just recently gone from thinking "we are just terrible parents" to "our son is just going to learn in a different way than others"(and I still occassionally go back & forth), but I dont believe thats such a bad thing really since I have always felt like I had an ability to absorb and learn very rapidly...but only in a precise way which only seems to work for me(nobody else that I have really met). It probably helps me to understand him better, since I feel like I have many of the same traits as him and perhaps I just "adapted", despite my feeling that my parents probably did not recognize some learning differences that I think I had growing up. Maybe this is more common than I realize?

Luckily I never totally believed I was a horrible parent. I had believed that I may have overlooked something, but having an older daughter had helped as well since she did not exhibit any of the traits. Now I have one thing in common with my son in that I learned to write really early and walked late as a child. I never really looked too deeply into anything more than that and probably should consult my mother on those things.

Anyway, sorry for the novel...and while I'm certainly no expert or authority to listen to... I just wanted to let you guys know that you arent the only parents out there with the same thoughts and concerns. Perhaps you just have a really bright son who may have an unusual learning pattern, which may in fact be the reason he is capable of great things if he applies himself properly. Best wishes for you & your son.

Well if I learn of new ways advancing his development, I will let ya'll know.
And thanks for the post. Best wishes to you as well.

[Antmeister]

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

Wow...this post has me thinking about my 7 year old.

Not to threadjack...but It might help...

My wife and I are both ADHD and have been managing it for the past 3 years with adderall, but I never took medicine as a child, my mother felt it would curb me being me.

Onto my son, we have always thought he has had it, never taken him to get diagnosed. But he is extremely intelligent, gets bored in class easy. And actually has some facial ticks, when you are telling him something he already knows or is bored with you...

Tourettes has been brought up by a lot of people with him doing the facial ticks, but if you remind him he is doing it, he completely stops, and doesn't have to focus on it. So I rule that out.

He really never communicates to us a lot, I mean he can talk, hold a conversation, but chooses to never talk. But he has a short fuse emotionally. He can go off at a moments notice in a variety of ways, anger, sad, jealousy, envy...he can run the whole gamut there.

I have been trying to be like my mother, but I think it's time to get him in to a dr....

And that's what makes it tough. Because each kid develops differently, you can never really be sure if it is a problem. After reading you and Buccaneer's posts, I am wanting to look more into that direction as well so thanks for sharing this.

[Maple Leafs]

Bumping this one a few years later, as I'm going through the process of a potential ASD diagnosis with my daughter. I'd be interested in hearing from some of the parents in this thread, or others who have gone through a similar scenario.

Specifically, would love to know if anyone who's been through the diagnosis process has any advice on how best to handle it, things they wish they`d known, good online resources, etc.

Thanks in advance.

[Sun Tzu]

Just read through all of this. Any updates?

[Dodgerchick]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Bumping this one a few years later, as I'm going through the process of a potential ASD diagnosis with my daughter. I'd be interested in hearing from some of the parents in this thread, or others who have gone through a similar scenario.

Specifically, would love to know if anyone who's been through the diagnosis process has any advice on how best to handle it, things they wish they`d known, good online resources, etc.

Thanks in advance.

How old is your daughter? Is there anything in particular that makes you believe she might be on the ASD? When our son turned 3, he was still pointing at stuff and grunting which is when we thought he could be on the ASD. We didn't have medical insurance so our only option was to take him to our school district. We had to answer a questionnaire and were scheduled for a screening. The instructors/therapists would interact with him as much as possible to see how he reacted. After a few hours they reached somewhat of a diagnosis and placed him in a class where they worked with him on his communication and social skills. I say somewhat because they didn't know how to diagnose him. He exhibited some autism traits but not all so he was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Pervasive Development Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified).

How best to handle it - it's tough to get an autism diagnosis. I was nervous before the screening but when we got there I realized the staff was there to help and offer support. Answer the questionnaire as honestly (there were some questions that were tough to answer, but it was in our kid's best interest to be as honest as possible to get a more accurate assessment) as possible. The sooner you get a diagnosis, the quicker the intervention.

Things I wished I had known - Hmm... I was sort of in denial when Landon was still pointing and grunting at age 2 1/2. He didn't communicate with words and would scream if we didn't understand what he wanted. They see the world different than we do. If I had known what the autism signs were at an early age, I would try to understand things from his point of view. Even now at age 6, it's still a challenge at times. There are good days and bad.

Good online resources - I don't have one particular site that I go to. I google a lot if I have specific questions. I found that our son's teachers and therapists are the best resources available. I found that meetup.com has several groups where parents can meet other parents and some groups are there for informational purposes only. Each city is different though.

Good luck Maple Leafs, I wish you the best. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to PM me, I'll be glad to help.

[Maple Leafs]

How old is your daughter? Is there anything in particular that makes you believe she might be on the ASD?

She's three, turning four in January.

The major red flag is around social skills -- she doesn't interact with other kids. She just has no interest in them at all. She can usually handle being around other kids (she's in a large daycare), but she isn't remotely interested in playing with them. She'll do it with some encouragement, but if it's up to her she'll go read a book or play quietly on her own.

The other concern is around routine. She has certain things that she likes done in a certain way, and athat usually means her doing it for herself. She picks her clothes in the morning, she gets the yogurt out of the fridge, she chooses the books for bedtime reading. Lord help you if you forget and do it for her. And she has a ridiculously good memory, so sometimes she'll figure out patterns that we didn't even intend.

On the other hand, there are plenty of common red flags that just don't apply at all:
- Her language skills are very good
- She's hit all milestones on time or early, except for the social ones.
- She doesn't have any of the in-depth interests/obsessions that are so common with Aspergers. She doesn't line up toys or fixate on anything in particular.
- She has a great sense of humor, tons of imaginative play, always shares her thoughts and points things out to us, etc
- She can be very social with people she knows well -- parents, grandparents, etc. But not kids.

This is all very confusing for us. The folks at daycare seem pretty convinced that there's something ASD-related going on. Both sets of grandparents think we're crazy to even be pursuing this -- they think she's a normal kid who's just a little shy/timid. The handful of friends that we've talked to about this don't see it either.

We went through a quasi-evaluation earlier this year where we filled out a list of questions, and were told that based on our answers we didn't qualify for further screening. But the social stuff hasn't improved, so we're taking her for a more in-depth evaluation in September.

The routine stuff is especially confusing for us. Every parenting book we read said to get your kids into a routine for things like bedtime, bath time, etc. So we did, and now that she's used to it we're told that it's something to be concerned about. It's worth pointing out that while she's adamant about who does what, and in what order, the things themselves don't matter -- she'll wear different clothes, ask for different foods, choose different books, all on a whim. Heck, we recently moved into a new house and she handled it without a peep of complaint.

Anyways, that's part-background and part-venting. I realize nobody can diagnose this stuff online, and I'm willing to wait a few more weeks to start getting some answers. Thanks again for any insight anyone can share.

[Dodgerchick]

Originally Posted by Sun Tzu

Just read through all of this. Any updates?

Thanks for asking Sun Tzu. I had to re-read the thread to see how much things have changed. He's made tremendous progress in some areas, but even 2 years later, we still have issues with some... mainly potty training. I heard that some kids on the spectrum don't get fully trained until they're 7-9... eek! Each kid is different though. Our son still has issues going #2 and we still have to remind him to go #1.

I was nervous about Kindergarten but he did surprisingly well. He had great support and they slowly integrated him in a typical classroom. He did so well he even got a "Pride Award". 1st grade is going to be different since they focus more on academics. His math skills are way up there. The kid knows multiplication and we don't know how or where he picked it up (see attached pic). There are issues with reading comprehension, though. The kid can read and write, but if we ask him a question about something he read, he doesn't know how to answer. BUT, on the other hand, we recently discovered he made a journal entry. He doesn't tell us what goes on in his noggin so finding this was completely shocking (see pic).

He's getting better at the social aspect, but still would rather do his own thing. It's only when he wants something that he'll seek other kids out. The communication part is much better, not where it should be, but much better than last year. He'll speak in full sentences but sometimes they don't make sense, but he gets his point across.

Before the school year ended we had a meeting with the school panel to discuss plans for 1st grade. The early diagnosis “expired” so they diagnosed him with Autism Disorder with Speech Impairment so he can continue getting the support he needs. I still wonder about the autism diagnosis though. Not because I'm in denial, but he does things that are not typical for a kid on the spectrum. Usually, autistic kids don't understand pretend play or sense of humor... Landon understands both. He'll pretend to pull my cheeks off, run to the bathroom and flush them down the toilet. Or if he doesn't wanna eat something he'll say, “No, eating lettuce is for suckers”. Stuff like that. But then there's the potty training, the hypersensitivity to light/sound, social interaction, and communication that has us thinking it's the right diagnosis.

Anyway, here are things he's done in the past year that make us scratch our heads:

Landon's obsession w/ numbers. He was asked by his kindergarten teacher to decorate his page with lines, stickers, etc. and he wanted to write all numbers:



I come home from being out and I see this on my desk... wtf?



Same page but on the back. Some of these are wrong, but I have no idea how he learned to multiply.



Landon's first journal entry. He won't talk about his thoughts but he's really good about writing them down, lol

page 1



page 2



If you're still here, thanks for taking the time to read this tremendously long post.

[Dodgerchick]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

She's three, turning four in January.

The major red flag is around social skills -- she doesn't interact with other kids. She just has no interest in them at all. She can usually handle being around other kids (she's in a large daycare), but she isn't remotely interested in playing with them. She'll do it with some encouragement, but if it's up to her she'll go read a book or play quietly on her own.

The other concern is around routine. She has certain things that she likes done in a certain way, and athat usually means her doing it for herself. She picks her clothes in the morning, she gets the yogurt out of the fridge, she chooses the books for bedtime reading. Lord help you if you forget and do it for her. And she has a ridiculously good memory, so sometimes she'll figure out patterns that we didn't even intend.

On the other hand, there are plenty of common red flags that just don't apply at all:
- Her language skills are very good
- She's hit all milestones on time or early, except for the social ones.
- She doesn't have any of the in-depth interests/obsessions that are so common with Aspergers. She doesn't line up toys or fixate on anything in particular.
- She has a great sense of humor, tons of imaginative play, always shares her thoughts and points things out to us, etc
- She can be very social with people she knows well -- parents, grandparents, etc. But not kids.

This is all very confusing for us. The folks at daycare seem pretty convinced that there's something ASD-related going on. Both sets of grandparents think we're crazy to even be pursuing this -- they think she's a normal kid who's just a little shy/timid. The handful of friends that we've talked to about this don't see it either.

We went through a quasi-evaluation earlier this year where we filled out a list of questions, and were told that based on our answers we didn't qualify for further screening. But the social stuff hasn't improved, so we're taking her for a more in-depth evaluation in September.

The routine stuff is especially confusing for us. Every parenting book we read said to get your kids into a routine for things like bedtime, bath time, etc. So we did, and now that she's used to it we're told that it's something to be concerned about. It's worth pointing out that while she's adamant about who does what, and in what order, the things themselves don't matter -- she'll wear different clothes, ask for different foods, choose different books, all on a whim. Heck, we recently moved into a new house and she handled it without a peep of complaint.

Anyways, that's part-background and part-venting. I realize nobody can diagnose this stuff online, and I'm willing to wait a few more weeks to start getting some answers. Thanks again for any insight anyone can share.

Hmm... so it's the routines and social aspect that have you wondering. How does she act in social situations? Does she do things that are considered "socially awkward" or does she just like to play on her own? Also, does she seek interaction only when she wants something? Kids on the spectrum usually don't like being around people but they're not shy when it comes to something they want. Also, how is her sensitivity to sounds and light? Kids on the spectrum are hypersensitive to loud sounds and/or bright lights, it's too much stimulation for them and they often cover their ears or wanna wear shades all the time (Landon does both these things).

I'll ask Antmeister to see if he has anything more to add.

[Dodgerchick]

Oh yeah, and the kid has an amazing memory when it comes to birthdays. He won't remember names, but he'll see a face and remember a birthday. He knows all our birthdays and recently introduced him to a kid his age... doesn't remember his name, but remembers his birthday, lol.

[Sun Tzu]

Dodgerchick...

Does anybody else think this kid is incredibly gifted? I see this stuff and I think he's some kind of artistic/mathematics natural. He obviously has a thing for numbers, so I'd say nurture help him develop that as much as you can. I mean, when I was his age the only thing I was concerned with was little league practice and whether Hulk Hogan was going to finally beat Zeus.