My Child Dialed 911

[tyketime]

So my wife & I played in a company golf outing today. We had an adult sitter watch my younger son, 9 1/2 yrs old, who was home sick from school. She left at 1:30 (this was expected). My older son (12 yrs old) gets out of school at 2pm and is home by 2:10. We expected the golf outing to finish and we would be home around 2:30. It ran long, and we didn't get home until 3:30. As we walk in the house, my younger son tells me he "accidentally" dialed 911 and the police showed up. His first story was that he was calling a friend, but we all know numbers don't start with 911. Our older son tells us that the police showed up, asked them both a few questions (their ages, where were their parents, etc), and then left.

Needless to say we are both quite upset. First of all, the police have a real job to do, and following up on crank calls is not acceptable. Second of all, this isn't the first time it happened. Three years ago, he was over at a sitters house, and kids were playing in the basement. He dialed 911 and hung up. When the police arrived, no one fessed up. It wasn't until a year or so later that he confessed to us that he was the one that dialed 911. At the time, all we could do was laugh it off to the foolish curiosity of a six year old.

Today, we are not laughing. He also got in trouble at school earlier this week (self-professed class clown). So now we don't know whether this is a pattern or not.

My wife would like to call the Police Department and discuss the situation with them to find out how they could "scare" my son into not doing it again. I read something online that you don't want to punish a child for calling 911 for fear they may not call it if a real emergency was to occur. I can understand what they are saying with it.

My son has a fascination with toy guns (all we would ever let him have, and there are absolutely no real guns in our house). He loves James Bond. Again... what boy doesn't? But we are struggling as to whether this is just an age-inappropriate activity or the start of something different.

I think I want to take him to a child psychologist. He has seen her in the past on a couple of occasions (not related to this).

I was just curious whether any of you had experienced something similar with your children. Or whether you had some insight you would like to share.

Thanks!

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Hire strippers dressed as cops.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

Or J. Walter Weatherman.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

dola,

Seriously though, I'm not a father nor was I anyway near a Holiday Inn last night. Dialing 911 is a problem, but I'm not sure I see the need to toss the kid into therapy.

[RomaGoth]

I would not read too much into these events. The old saying "he is just being a kid" really comes to mind. While I am no psychologist, I do have my degree in early childhood education. I have found that kids just do dumb stuff sometimes, especially when it comes to showing off in front of their friends (or the opposite sex when they get older). My 8 year old son does this thing around his friends when my wife is with him where he will act cool, like he doesn't care if she is there or what she is saying.

My recommendation is to have a couple of policeman come by and just explain to him the effects of calling 911 without an actual emergency. They shouldn't have to "scare" him really, as just by being there with him should do the trick. Just make sure nobody else is there, and that there are two policemen. Very intimidating without being threatening.

Just my advice. Good luck.

[GoldenEagle]

Get the leather belt out.

[Barkeep49]

At least in my community your idea of talking to the police about this is the right idea. The police here would be able to talk to your son in a serious sort of way about when to use and not use 911.

[Marc Vaughan]

If the local police will oblige feel free to have them scare him, otherwise kick his butt in a parental manner, ground him remove TV priviledges - whatever it takes to show you're serious imho.

(personally I'm not into psychologists myself - but thats largely a cultural thing to some extent .. although it does amaze me how many parents at my kids schools think their sons (especially) have ADD when to me they're just simply energetic boys ...)

[Karlifornia]

Have your wife pretend to have a heart attack, and pretend to call 911 in front of your son. Then look at your kid and say "Oh, no!They can't come save mommy's life, because they're at the house of a little 9 year old boy who prank called 911. Well, guess what son, someone's gotta pay! And this time, it's your own mom! muhahahhahahahahaa"

It's a pretty mean prank to play, so take him out for ice cream later.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by GoldenEagle

Get the leather belt out.

+1

edit to add: After rereading this, to be honest I see a bigger problem than him calling 911, although a leather belt might part of the solution.

So my wife & I played in a company golf outing today. We had an adult sitter watch my younger son, 9 1/2 yrs old, who was home sick from school. She left at 1:30 (this was expected). My older son (12 yrs old) gets out of school at 2pm and is home by 2:10. We expected the golf outing to finish and we would be home around 2:30. It ran long, and we didn't get home until 3:30.

I'm sorry, I just don't see any justification short of life or death emergency (i.e. one of you cuts off a limb in a chain saw accident in the yard & the other drives them straight to the hospital) for leaving a sick 9 year old at home alone and damned sure not some "company golf outing". First of all, he isn't the responsibility of your 12 year old, he's yours. Second of all, what if something delayed the older child getting home from school -- traffic jam, lockdown at school, whatever? For that matter, what's to prevent the same thing from turning 330 into 430 for you? Or 630?

Seems pretty obvious what the root of this problem is, as well as the impetus for the phone call specifically, and it doesn't rest with the 9 year old.

[rowech]

Everything other than 911 is boys being boys most likely. Agree with others...have the cops come over and put some fear into him about calling 911. With an additional piece...only do this if you think it will scare him. If not, he'll just view it as a challenge and do it again. If you don't think it'll scare him, there's no real point in doing it. You'll need to come up with something else.

[Mustang]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Seems pretty obvious what the root of this problem is, as well as the impetus for the phone call specifically, and it doesn't rest with the 9 year old.

+1

I'm not big on the whole scare him thing. For all we know, him being sick he may have needed someone and the only thing he could think of was to call 911.

[Logan]

I predict this will now get interesting.

[tarcone]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Seems pretty obvious what the root of this problem is, as well as the impetus for the phone call specifically, and it doesn't rest with the 9 year old.

+2

Why would you leave a 9 year old alone? Maybe a little Mommy and Daddy time would fix this problem.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

Have your wife pretend to have a heart attack, and pretend to call 911 in front of your son. Then look at your kid and say "Oh, no!They can't come save mommy's life, because they're at the house of a little 9 year old boy who prank called 911. Well, guess what son, someone's gotta pay! And this time, it's your own mom! muhahahhahahahahaa"

It's a pretty mean prank to play, so take him out for ice cream later.

Deep Thoughts ...

[Autumn]

I think clearly in this case the 9 year old wasn't ready to be left home alone if he couldn't behave himself. But I don't think you can say that in general it's inappropriate to leave a nine year old home alone. I think that would be fine for a limited time like this for lots of kids.

In this case, maybe it was either a bit too tempting for him or a bit scary.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Autumn

But I don't think you can say that in general it's inappropriate to leave a nine year old home alone.

Clearly, we disagree, I'd say that's virtually always inappropriate as well as incredibly irresponsible.

[AlexB]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Clearly, we disagree, I'd say that's virtually always inappropriate as well as incredibly irresponsible.

Normally I try to rise above JiMGA, but on this occasion I have to agree. Taking the best possible scenario, a 12 year old should never be in charge of a household.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Clearly, we disagree, I'd say that's virtually always inappropriate as well as incredibly irresponsible.

I love the fact that Jon always says how he feels.

Sometimes he says it and stands out like a sore thumb.

Sometimes, like now, he says what most of us were thinking and would probably be afraid to say.

[wade moore]

Dola: As I read the story I was actually wondering at what point tyketime was going to talk about how social services was coming to make a visit after the police saw what was goinig on at the house.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by wade moore

Sometimes, like now, he says what most of us were thinking and would probably be afraid to say.

And on my deathbed, I will receive total consciousness. So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

[Autumn]

Wow, that's amazing. At what age do you think a kid generally should be able to stay home alone? At what age were you first left alone or allowed to go to town or such alone? Apparently your experiences were a lot different than mine.

[DaddyTorgo]

12 is what...6th grade? at that point my parents wouldn't have had a problem leaving me home alone for an hour or two in the middle of the afternoon, and not with my 10 year old sister either (although depending on how "sick" she was idk, and it's also different with two boys).

[Flasch186]

ping EF27

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

12 is what...6th grade? at that point my parents wouldn't have had a problem leaving me home alone for an hour or two in the middle of the afternoon, and not with my 10 year old sister either (although depending on how "sick" she was idk, and it's also different with two boys).

What kind of pansy non-latchkey kids do we have here? 12 is too young? Really? My parents would have left me and my 2 years younger sister alone then for a couple of hours in the afternoon.

SI

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

Yeah, I gotta agree on that. At 12 I was walking home from school, letting myself in, and hanging until my folks got home at 5. And I don't think I was abnormal at all.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

12 is what...6th grade? at that point my parents wouldn't have had a problem leaving me home alone for an hour or two in the middle of the afternoon, and not with my 10 year old sister either (although depending on how "sick" she was idk, and it's also different with two boys).

Yes, same here. It would depend on the kids, and the length of time and what sort of support they have. But if I 12 year old can't stay home by themselves for an hour or so that seems odd to me. As for watching the other kid, twelve year olds are babysitting, in my experience, with backup readily available on the phone.

[Abe Sargent]

When I was 12, my dad gave me my first shotgun. I was certainly trusted enough to be alone by myself.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

What kind of pansy non-latchkey kids do we have here? 12 is too young? Really? My parents would have left me and my 2 years younger sister alone then for a couple of hours in the afternoon.

SI

dude - not that i said my parent's WOULDN'T have had a problem

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Autumn

Yes, same here. It would depend on the kids, and the length of time and what sort of support they have. But if I 12 year old can't stay home by themselves for an hour or so that seems odd to me. As for watching the other kid, twelve year olds are babysitting, in my experience, with backup readily available on the phone.

I agree under normal situations there, but it's different when it's a sibling, and double-different when it's two boys. that's all i was saying about that. you gotta know your kids, how likely they are to fight, etc

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

dude - not that i said my parent's WOULDN'T have had a problem

That was said a bit tongue-in-cheek. I tried to work in a "back in my day" line but I just couldn't formulate it.

That said, I think saying leaving a 12 year old at home is crazy is, well, crazy.

SI

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Autumn

Yes, same here. It would depend on the kids, and the length of time and what sort of support they have. But if I 12 year old can't stay home by themselves for an hour or so that seems odd to me. As for watching the other kid, twelve year olds are babysitting, in my experience, with backup readily available on the phone.

a) The 12 y/o wasn't home alone, the 9 year old was.
b) In the most general terms, I have a great deal more confidence in the average 12 year old keeping themselves out of trouble for a short period than I do in that same 12 year old keeping themselves and a younger child both out of trouble & harms way.

Look, I live in a world where a town the size of Mayberry had enough cases of convicted sexual offenses by adults on children where the ratio was below 1:20 (i.e. by the numbers, pretty much every classroom in town had at least one victim of a sexual assault) and what amounts to a suburban town that I live in now has had multiple sexual assaults by random adults on pre-teens on school property and with adult supervision.

Truthfully, I think anybody who leaves one kid in charge of another these days is pretty much f'n nuts. And that has at least as much (and probably more) to do with the world around them as it does with anything along the lines of "kids today".

[DaddyTorgo]

wasn't the 9 year old home with a babysitter?

and really maybe we should all stop giving tyketime criticism on his parenting - they know their kids better than we do

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

wasn't the 9 year old home with a babysitter?

Until said babysitter left.

and really maybe we should all stop giving tyketime criticism on his parenting - they know their kids better than we do

Sorry DT, but no one here went to his house & put their two cents worth in. He's the one who brought the subject here.

Truth is, I felt like real crap when I initially put the blame on the kid when, after re-reading the story, I realized that I don't think the kid is the problem here at all. I genuinely have a very serious problem with the situation described, and a huge problem with blaming the child (which I wrongly did myself with the belt comment) for what I consider extremely poor parenting at the very best. As wademoore alluded to, I'd be a little surprised if the police who responded didn't file a report with CPS and I think that's completely appropriate on their part.

[Matthean]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

wasn't the 9 year old home with a babysitter?

and really maybe we should all stop giving tyketime criticism on his parenting - they know their kids better than we do

Baby sitter left so there was time for the kid to call before the older sibling got there. The age you leave a kid home is vastly based on maturity versus how old they are.

[Celeval]

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

My recommendation is to have a couple of policeman come by and just explain to him the effects of calling 911 without an actual emergency. They shouldn't have to "scare" him really, as just by being there with him should do the trick. Just make sure nobody else is there, and that there are two policemen. Very intimidating without being threatening.

I like this one.

As for the nine year old thing... that was about right for me, growing up - 4th grade was the first time I think I was "allowed" to stay home sick from school by myself as opposed to having one of my parents take off work.

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by Matthean

Baby sitter left so there was time for the kid to call before the older sibling got there. The age you leave a kid home is vastly based on maturity versus how old they are.

This is very much true. From the sounds of it, this 9 year old is acting like a 9 year old. He probably should not have been left at home, alone or with a 12 year old sibling. But, I wasn't there nor do I know the family, so my opinion is of limited value here.

[rowech]

It is quite possible your 9 year old just flat out got too worried that he felt he had to call. Prior experience might influence that. As someone said, you know your kids best.

My two cents on age to stay alone...depends on the kid. I was ready to stay at home on my own for a short time when I was maybe 10 or 11. I wasn't ready to stay alone with my two brothers until....well....that day might eventually come.

[Galaxy]

How old do your babysitters have to be?

[Mac Howard]

What reason did the kid give for calling the 911?

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

I agree under normal situations there, but it's different when it's a sibling, and double-different when it's two boys. that's all i was saying about that. you gotta know your kids, how likely they are to fight, etc

Yes, absolutely, I'm responding to what seems to be the sentiment in thread by some that there is no way they would leave a 9 year old or even a 12 year old at home alone ever. That was what I was getting from them at least.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

a) The 12 y/o wasn't home alone, the 9 year old was.
b) In the most general terms, I have a great deal more confidence in the average 12 year old keeping themselves out of trouble for a short period than I do in that same 12 year old keeping themselves and a younger child both out of trouble & harms way.

Right, I was responding to what I thougth I was hearing in thread, that most thought even leaving a 12 year old alone was crazy.

I also don't think it's automatically crazy to leave a 9 year old home alone for a short time. It depends on the kid.

I agree that depending on the kids and their relationship leaving the 12 year old in charge could be worse. But then again we have a babysitter who's 12, just turned 13 and we leave her with our kids. I think many 12 year olds are perfectly capable of being "in charge."

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Autumn

But then again we have a babysitter who's 12, just turned 13 and we leave her with our kids.

See, I can't imagine ever doing that. I mean I literally can't fathom it, not under any circumstance. The risk I see outweighs any & all benefits by so much that I just can't get my head around how anybody does it.

While I'm posting anyway, as I think I'm going to try to separate myself from this thread, I gotta say something else. It's certainly no secret to any regular here that I can do mad/pissed off/rage/whatever pretty easily. That's almost my default value, so when I feel that it doesn't exactly come as any surprise to me. But my reaction to this thread is different, something quite a bit more unusual. It just makes me very sad.

We (society version, not FOFC) wring our hands occasionally about things like crimes committed by children and crimes committed against children and accidental deaths involving children and whatnot & whatall else but I can't imagine what else we expect when they're so frequently left to raise themselves, each other, or both. Parenting isn't a part-time job, it's not a when-convenient thing, it's not a hobby, it's a full-time job & I do mean full time. Commonplace or not, where we're at with living up to that responsibility strikes me so sad that it's difficult for me to get past that feeling far enough to even get mad about it. I really think we're probably the most screwed up society in the history of the world, words fail me to even attempt to describe it adequately. And on that cheery note, I'm gonna try to leave this thread to run its course, it's simply too damned depressing for me to deal with any further right now.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by Autumn

Yes, absolutely, I'm responding to what seems to be the sentiment in thread by some that there is no way they would leave a 9 year old or even a 12 year old at home alone ever. That was what I was getting from them at least.

I would never leave a 9 year old home alone ever.

I think it's borderline child abuse, certainly negligence to do so.

[JediKooter]

What would Oprah do?

Good thing the cops didn't tazer the poor boy...

[tyketime]

The 9 year-old called 911 AFTER his 12 year old brother was already home. Sorry, but around here, there are fair number of 12-13 year olds that are already babysitting. While I am open to debating our "parenting style", the main reason for posting was to see whether a 9 year old dialing 911 twice in three years out of curiosity was a "normal" thing or not.

[lighthousekeeper]

Agreed on the sad part...a few aspects actually:

1. The parents left their 9 year old child at home alone which is definitely too young to do. As JiMGa said, it was only 10 minutes but could have easily been many hours if something went awry. You can't predict when those things might happen.

2. The kid probably got scared and called 911 out of fear or uncertainty.

3. Instead of empathy or remorse for their own actions, the parents actually have the nerve to get mad at the kid (and consider a psychologist!?)

4. Instead of teaching the kid about not calling 911 in the future, the parents want to have the police 'scare' their kid as a kind of proxy for their own parenting. wtf?


But I may be baised as I was left home a lot as a kid, being raised by a single mom. And there were several times I can remember when my mom got delayed for this or that and arrived home up to a couple hours late. Those minutes/hours can be terrifying for a young kid as they imagine the worst. Mom & Dad in a car crash, zombie apocolypse, etc.

[lighthousekeeper]

Originally Posted by tyketime

The 9 year-old called 911 AFTER his 12 year old brother was already home. Sorry, but around here, there are fair number of 12-13 year olds that are already babysitting. While I am open to debating our "parenting style", the main reason for posting was to see whether a 9 year old dialing 911 twice in three years out of curiosity was a "normal" thing or not.

It probably normal for kids with bad parents, if that's what you're looking for.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

I love it when FOFC turns judgmental.

[tyketime]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

See, I can't imagine ever doing that. I mean I literally can't fathom it, not under any circumstance. The risk I see outweighs any & all benefits by so much that I just can't get my head around how anybody does it.

Parenting isn't a part-time job, it's not a when-convenient thing, it's not a hobby, it's a full-time job & I do mean full time.

I don't think you ever heard me say that we weren't parenting our child full-time. But with the golf course 4 miles from our house, we were never more than 10-15 minutes away. With our neighborhood right next to the school, our 12-year old was going to be home on time. He calls us at 2pm as soon as he gets out of school & rides his bike home. He called us again when he got home.

While I completely agree that society today is not the same as it was when I was a child, I don't think as a parent you have to sit at home and watch their every move. As they show greater responsibility, we slowly give them more freedom. When incidents come up to show they are not ready to handle it (like today's), we restrict some of their freedoms.