Medicating a 5 year old

[panerd]

Before I begin I have definitely sought out the opinions of several health care professionals and friends and family but I also feel like sometimes unbiased advice not knowing my kid at all is also extremely useful. I also know quite a few of you either suffer from anxiety or other similar ailments and can relate to the medicine issue and I feel like the medical field often supports medicating pretty much anything.

Our 5 year old has pretty bad OCD and anxiety with ticks, licking things, and other recognizable habits. Both my dad and me and my brother also suffer in varying degrees. So he has it so bad that he has actually been doing CBT for about 6 months and today finally visited with a psychiatrist. Well I knew what was coming and my wife and I definitely have different thoughts and perspectives. So I have pretty much had OCD my whole life but never took any medicine for it. I obviously feel like I have done fine with a good job, a family, enjoying life experiences, etc... But I think that is also the part of me that is really torn on whether to medicate my kid. What if I had... would things have been better? The same? Worse? My other worry is what do they know about medicating a kid for potentially 80 more years?

Anyone have any experience (positive or negative) that they would wish to share? Not exactly sure what I am looking for here, would love to think I could be convinced one way or the other but maybe just looking for different thoughts and perspectives. 5 is just so damn young!

[NobodyHere]

I'm neither a doctor nor a parent but personally I think medicating a 5 year should only be done in extreme circumstances. I don't like the idea of introducing chemicals to a young developing brain.

I imagine it's tough as a parent not to imagine the "grass is greener" scenario as you want to set your kid on the best possible path. Just make sure not to trip and fall if you try to take a peek over the hill.

[panerd]

Yeah I totally hear you and would have said the exact same thing myself and and in fact am the one on the side of let's really think this over. On the flip side all the stuff he is doing are things that me and my brother did as kids and you just want to help him so bad. It's really maddening. Especially when sometimes I think I am just being selfish, I mean if this were cancer or diabetes or some other medical complication I would cede to the experts but this scares me. Perhaps rightfully so?

[JPhillips]

I don't know the extent of the issue here, but my wife was severe OCD, to the point of a serious breakdown at around 30 years of age. She's well aware that she was exhibiting symptoms very early in her life. She's much happier on medication, and yes, she'll be medicated for the rest of her life. I wouldn't recommend anything without knowing you or your family, but personally, if my child was unhealthy and medication could help, I'd do it. I've seen how OCD can derail someone's life and how medication can help.

Good luck, it's not easy to see your kid suffer.

[albionmoonlight]

My kid had ADHD. My wife and I leaned against medicating. Decided to try it after medical consultation. And it was easily the right choice for us.

I also have some friends/family with depression, and medication has made a real difference, even on top of therapy (though they all started medication as adults).

Every case is different, but my experience has been that if you keep working with the doctors and using CBT when needed, then medication is a huge plus. I think that the analogy to diabetes and insulin is a good one.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

[panerd]

Originally Posted by JPhillips

I don't know the extent of the issue here, but my wife was severe OCD, to the point of a serious breakdown at around 30 years of age. She's well aware that she was exhibiting symptoms very early in her life. She's much happier on medication, and yes, she'll be medicated for the rest of her life. I wouldn't recommend anything without knowing you or your family, but personally, if my child was unhealthy and medication could help, I'd do it. I've seen how OCD can derail someone's life and how medication can help.

Good luck, it's not easy to see your kid suffer.

Appreciate the advice. I have had a few what I would call severe year or so long incidents throughout my life once in college and once when my kids were all 3 and under. I probably should have taken some medicine and admit at least for the college one it was the stigma probably more than anything. I can't imagine my kid ever having to go through those. But I almost feel selfish in a way if I give him medicine and then something goes wrong if that makes any sense? Like you know I made it but didn't think he could type thing?

[panerd]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

My kid had ADHD. My wife and I leaned against medicating. Decided to try it after medical consultation. And it was easily the right choice for us.

I also have some friends/family with depression, and medication has made a real difference, even on top of therapy (though they all started medication as adults).

Every case is different, but my experience has been that if you keep working with the doctors and using CBT when needed, then medication is a huge plus. I think that the analogy to diabetes and insulin is a good one.

Good luck with whatever you choose.

Yeah and internet searches for medicating 5 year olds lead exactly where you would think they lead. I mean he's a fully functional sweet boy but his preschool teachers all basically describe him as weird and quiet (obviously using nicer terminology but you can read between the lines) and I know everyone thinks their kid is the next Einstein but this 5 year old at home can tell me about Neptune's moons and the history of the voyager but when I take him to a space presentation at the library and they ask the crowd of kids about the Sun or something simple he is licking his shoulder and biting on crayons the whole time and the presenter probably thinks he has some disorder. (Which I mean he does so I am not making light of it but man it is frustrating and heartbreaking) Sorry for the rambling train of thought!

[JPhillips]

My wife was convinced that she had messed up a ritual and 9/11 was her fault. It sounds ridiculous, but there for several days she was completely dysfunctional in an attempt to complete new rituals so that another attack wouldn't occur.

She had hidden the degree to which her OCD was running her life for nearly three decades, but eventually it all came crashing down. Therapy and medication gave her her life back.

[Warhammer]

Originally Posted by panerd

Yeah and internet searches for medicating 5 year olds lead exactly where you would think they lead. I mean he's a fully functional sweet boy but his preschool teachers all basically describe him as weird and quiet (obviously using nicer terminology but you can read between the lines) and I know everyone thinks their kid is the next Einstein but this 5 year old at home can tell me about Neptune's moons and the history of the voyager but when I take him to a space presentation at the library and they ask the crowd of kids about the Sun or something simple he is licking his shoulder and biting on crayons the whole time and the presenter probably thinks he has some disorder. (Which I mean he does so I am not making light of it but man it is frustrating and heartbreaking) Sorry for the rambling train of thought!

I mentioned recently here that I was diagnosed with depression when I was younger. My 13 year old was tested for it. They determined that the best course of action was to see a councilor. Their recommendation was counciling and evaluate for meds. However, they strongly recommended only doing meds with a developing brain in extreme circumstances. This was also echoed by the pediatrician.

[panerd]

Originally Posted by JPhillips

My wife was convinced that she had messed up a ritual and 9/11 was her fault. It sounds ridiculous, but there for several days she was completely dysfunctional in an attempt to complete new rituals so that another attack wouldn't occur.

She had hidden the degree to which her OCD was running her life for nearly three decades, but eventually it all came crashing down. Therapy and medication gave her her life back.

And the thing about it is if you shared with everyone a story about how your wife had a brain tumor and thought that you would get 100% sympathy but I guarantee you some people would blow it off what you told me as pure craziness and somehow her fault. I know the feelings or rituals and how pointless they are when I think about them and my son explains how stuff will catch on fire if he doesn't do his and know exactly what he is thinking. I just wish there wasn't the history of Prozac and suicide and stuff like that. Really think it might be bad pr that is keeping me from doing what's best. Believe me though every person I talk it through with definitely helps a lot.

[Izulde]

My gutshot would be to say to stick with just CBT for now and evaluate later for medication, given he's only 5. But that's really a conversation to have with his medical team in terms of weighing the risks and benefits.

As for my own pharmaceutical history, various medications through my late teens - late 20s, with mixed results for mood disorders. Then in my early 30s, the anxiety that was always subliminal blew up into fullscale panic disorder. Finally got started on anti-anxiety medication a month ago on an as-needed basis, and it's made a huge difference in quality of life.

[panerd]

Originally Posted by Warhammer

I mentioned recently here that I was diagnosed with depression when I was younger. My 13 year old was tested for it. They determined that the best course of action was to see a councilor. Their recommendation was counciling and evaluate for meds. However, they strongly recommended only doing meds with a developing brain in extreme circumstances. This was also echoed by the pediatrician.

Yeah that's the whole crux of it right there. He is 20 and having these issues I don't think twice but his little 5 year old brain. Even if it's 99% good/1% bad what is he is the 1%?

[JPhillips]

Originally Posted by panerd

And the thing about it is if you shared with everyone a story about how your wife had a brain tumor and thought that you would get 100% sympathy but I guarantee you some people would blow it off what you told me as pure craziness and somehow her fault. I know the feelings or rituals and how pointless they are when I think about them and my son explains how stuff will catch on fire if he doesn't do his and know exactly what he is thinking. I just wish there wasn't the history of Prozac and suicide and stuff like that. Really think it might be bad pr that is keeping me from doing what's best. Believe me though every person I talk it through with definitely helps a lot.

I'm not a doctor, so I really don't know if medication is right or not, but I get the OCD is real and I hope for all of you there's a good path forward.

[PilotMan]

Worked with kids with severe issues though CBT when I was in college. If his symptoms are as severe as you say they are and CBT success is limited, medication is necessary to assist in treatment success. It's hard, but your description of your situation sounds exceptionally challenging.

[Warhammer]

Originally Posted by panerd

Yeah that's the whole crux of it right there. He is 20 and having these issues I don't think twice but his little 5 year old brain. Even if it's 99% good/1% bad what is he is the 1%?

What we were told, you look for drastic changes in behavior or personality. The problem with younger kids, their personality is still evolving and changing. So it is hard to detect bad reactions, etc.

[Lathum]

So I haven't posted in over 3 years, but I was lurking in the World Cup thread and saw this. It struck a chord so I felt compelled to share my situation.


I have an 8 year old son. When he was 5 and in kindergarten he was diagnosed with ADHD. He always had a lot of energy but we didn't think much on it. Then we started noticing his inability to listen. He would hug friends, play wrestle, etc...but not listen when they told him to stop, and he was unable to pick up on their verbal queues. He started doing things he knew he shouldn't, but couldn't stop himself. He started getting a reputation for being that kid. We watch through the first few months of kindergarten as every social relationship he had fell apart and he began having issues with the teacher. Lucky for us the teacher was awesome. To complicate matters we had just moved and had virtually zero support.

He is a super smart and caring kid, and it killed us to see this reputation start to develop. We ended up getting him tested and he was diagnosed with ADHD and impulsive disorder. We investigated a variety of options, feeling exactly how you do now. We ultimately decided on medication along with OT.

We knew the stigma that goes with it, but determined we needed to do what is best for our son. People said we were lazy, giving our kids meth, didn't want to parent him, he just needed to be spanked, have we tried changing his diet, maybe he is bored, etc...not directly mind you, but we knew people said it.

Don't worry about what other people will say. That's first.

The diabetes reference is spot on. Your boy has a chemical disorder, things doesn't work the way they should. If medicine will correct that and allow him to develop to his full potential, it was our opinion we owed it to our son. I talked to a friend during our decision making process, who has a son a few years older in similar situation. She said if she could have done anything different, she would have done meds sooner. By the time she did them he had a reputation he couldn't shake about being that kid.

It was a hard decision but medicating him was the best thing we ever did. He finished second grade today. Model student, great friend, caring kid, every time I tell a parent he has ADHD they are shocked and say they would never know. It is medicine he needs to survive and flourish, just like any other medicine.

At the end of the day it is your choice, and only yours. I get the frustration, but looking back for us it was by far the best decision. He never would have fulfilled his potential and instead would have lived a frustrating existence of getting in trouble, falling behind academically, having no friends, etc...we all know/knew kids like that.

Every personality change I have noticed is positive. Its as if the best parts of him were able to come forward, and the junk that interfered with that is suppressed. There is literally not one negative aside from the process of finding the right medication/ dosage. You can also go off it if you feel it isn't working.

[molson]

Hey Lathum - nothing else except it's great to you see you here and I wish for the best for you and your family.

[Dantooine98]

I think therapy is better than medicating a child, well it's just me. But if the medicine will really help the kid and the sideeffects are minimal then why not

[JonInMiddleGA]

I think Lathum's post is pretty fantastic stuff honestly & it hits a number of points I would have touched on.

I will only maybe add one other thing, from a personal perspective. I had issues in my childhood/youth that could have been addressed (at least in part) by medication.

I wish to hell there'd been proper diagnosis* & appropriate treatment for my younger self instead of going undiagnosed & untreated.

(when you grow up in the 70s and in a rural area, mental & emotional stuff didn't get a helluva lot of diagnosis or treatment)

[albionmoonlight]

Just want to ditto Latham's point.

A couple of other add ons:

Every personality change I have noticed is positive. Its as if the best parts of him were able to come forward, and the junk that interfered with that is suppressed.

THIS. It isn't like it changed him in some ways good, some ways bad. It let the real him come out. ADHD was not who he was. It is a disease that made it harder for him to be himself.

Also, there was some trial and error with dosage and type of medication. At the beginning, we and the doctor were very hand-on with figuring out what worked. If you are lucky, you get it right the first time. More likely, you will need to work with dosage/type a bit to get it right.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Dantooine98

I think therapy is better than medicating a child, well it's just me. But if the medicine will really help the kid and the sideeffects are minimal then why not

Curious why?

If your kid suffered from seizures wouldn't you give them medication to prevent them?

[Logan]

Best of luck to everyone in here, and another "great to see you" to Lathum and thanks for stopping in to share.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Warhammer

What we were told, you look for drastic changes in behavior or personality. The problem with younger kids, their personality is still evolving and changing. So it is hard to detect bad reactions, etc.

I would respectfully disagree with this.

While there were certainly times early on we asked ourselves if this was the ADHD/ Meds/ or his personality, no one knows your kid better than you.

After trying 4-5 different meds/ dosages, we could tell exactly if it was the meds causing an issue or not, and once we got it right we knew almost immediately.

[Lathum]

One more add on, then I have to herd my kids into the car to head to Seattle.

People think they know what it is like to live with a kid who has a childhood disorder like this, and they really have no clue.

It's like a white dude saying they know what it is like to be black because they were with their black cousin once when he got stopped by a rent a cop at the mall.

Until you are engulfed by your kids daily struggles to do things that come normal to other kids, you have NO IDEA what it is like to watch your kids go through it. I literally is the most gut wrenching experience you can have aside from the death of a child. If medicine can drastically improve their conditions, the boogeyman side effects that likely won't even happen down the road, are totally worth it.

[panerd]

Appreicate all the replies after I last responded. Unfortunately we had our own "losing a beloved dog" moment and I haven't been on here to thank everyone else that came in after I last logged in.

As for opinions from those with and without children I actually love to hear from both. To make a big stretch with a sports analogy using the Cardinals as my example...

The Cardinal fan will know much more than non-Cards fans about the usefulness of Greg Garcia or Harrison Bader. Can also comment on the quality (or lack of) of Jim Edmonds, Tim McCarver, Al Hrabosky as announcers.

The non-Cardinal fan can see the ridiculousness of Molina's contract, the over hype of their young pitching, the terrible contract for Greg Holland.

What's my point? There is a lot of shit non-parents just just understand about having kids. They don't understand being awake at 3 AM worrying about something that doesn't seem like a big deal to them, the pride of something that seems completely meaningless to them.

But they also see stuff that we are far too blind to see. Sometimes we do choose to label disorders over our bad decisions and sometimes just poor parenting.

I don't know I definitely got off on a tangent but hope it makes sense to some of you?

[Dantooine98]

yeah, I would definitely give them meds

Originally Posted by Lathum

Curious why?

If your kid suffered from seizures wouldn't you give them medication to prevent them?

[Lathum]

Curious where you ended up with this.