By The Nine! - FM 2013 9 Level Dynasty

[Izulde]

Back at it again, this time with the Level 9 mod and taking over Thetford Town F.C. in the Eastern Counties Premier League Division.

Value - $60k
Stadium - 975 capacity 0 seated
Stadium Condition: Poor
Field Condition: Poor
Basic corporate
Basic training
Minimal youth facilities
Minimal junior coaching
Limited youth recruitment
0 youth setup
Status: Amateur
Finances: Insecure
Average Ticket Price: $6
Season Ticket Price: $78
Season Ticket Holders: 25

First thing I do is fire my entire staff after finding suitable replacements for them. We're one of the cheapest games in town and the media has us picked to finish 19th, which would be the drop zone if there was one. But there isn't, and there's also only one rule - The winner of the league promotes, and it's a grueling 38 game schedule.

Seniors vs Reserves
I pick my lineup at random since I don't have my new assman in, and the seniors destroy the reserves 5-0, up at the half 4-0. Standout guys included pretty much the whole team, so it's something good to go on.

Friendly vs Blackstones
We're rofflestomped 1-4 after switching to a 3-5-2 in the second half as an experiment. We were down 1-2 at the time of the switch, but I'm not sure how to improve the team, because when I go to the Team Report screen, it looks like this:



So I'm not sure what's up with that.

[Brian Swartz]

Quite bizarre ... almost as bizarre as your vocabulary. I'm trying to place the last time I heard 'rofflestomped' in any context, much less a sporting event ...

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

Quite bizarre ... almost as bizarre as your vocabulary. I'm trying to place the last time I heard 'rofflestomped' in any context, much less a sporting event ...

It's a variant of ROFLstomped.

Re: the Team Report, I expect it's tied to amateur status and all the players having Offer Contract clicked next to them.

[Izulde]

So... after reviewing the roster, we decide we need to foray into the world of amateur players. We very quickly find two 16 year old goalkeepers we really like. One is being bid on by six clubs, the other has interest from clubs, but no bids. So what do we do?

Bid on them both, of course.

Oh, and the thing about this level? Everyone is considered 5* that my scout as looked at. So you really have to parse, pick and choose.

I go through every single position with the following parameters: Pace 8, Decisions 8, X key attribute for position 8, occasionally modifying it like I have to do with MR.

I accidentally signed one of my own players when I didn't mean to, to an amateur contract, but he shows up on the Team Report when I do, so that mystery's solved.

Oh, check out this guy:



Yeah that's right. 55 FREAKING CLUBS! Naturally we put a bid on him.

I'm not expecting to hit all our targets of course, but at least some of them would be nice.

Our first signing comes fairly quickly, and with a cool little note:



How awesome is that?

We get a few more signings trickling in, but are listed at 25-1 odds and a midtable finish when the preseason polls come out.

Players Under Contract Before Next Friendly
ST Daniel Peacock (16) - 0.5 silver/5*
D/MC Aaron Malton (20) - 5*/5*
DC Fraser Sturgess (18) - 5*/5*
DR Callum McAdams (17) 2 silver/5*
GK Kieran Roberts (16) 5*/5*

So... not all that they're cracked up to be in current ability and still a lot of work to do. But we're slowly putting together the foundation for a competitive team as soon as this season. (I hope).

Friendly vs Barton Rovers
Expected to lose this one, we fight to a 0-0 draw at the half and could've led, had not Daniel Peacock missed quite a few easy shot opportunities. In the second half Peacock does strike a goal, but it's disallowed due to offsides. Terrible positioning by Callum McAdams leads to a goal by them and we lose 0-1. 7.2 by Aaron Malton, though, who does indeed look the goods, and was great at MC.

New Signings
ML Chris Allison (16) - 3*/5*
MR Taylor Smith (16) - 3*/5*
DC Brett Girling (37) - 4.5*/4.5*
ST Jason Frost (16) - 4.5*/5*

Girling was signed just as much for his 14 Influence and ability to serve as team captain than anything else. Gradual improvement. Gradual improvement. We're that much closer to a full starting lineup now in a flat 4-4-2. Still need a DL and another MC.

Friendly vs Southend Manor
Another 0-0 first half draw, followed by a complete collapse in the second half. Everyone stunk in this one.

More Signings
MC Atal Hinds (22) - 5*/5*
DL/DC James Russell (22) - 4.5*/5* (2*/5* DC)
DL/DR Jake Handbury (19) 5*/5* both
DL/DR Nathan Speed (22) - 5*/5* both

What's interesting is Jason Frost dropped from 4.5* to 3* in the eyes of my assistant coach immediately after the first game, so take all these initial ratings with grain of salt blah blah. The good news is, we're building up considerable backline depth now.

Our coaches are split on their opinions of some of our players, but what's clear is that both love both our MC, our DL/DR signings, and our GK.

Friendly vs. Newton Town
We're now deep enough in bodies that we can afford to give players rest, and we open up with a 1-0 lead thanks to gorgeous passes by Atal Hinds and Jason Frost to a gray guy. We finally get our first my signing with a goal in the second half when Taylor Smith crosses to Chris Allison for a wing to wing goal. They hit us to draw within 2-1, but then Chris Allison returns the favor in passing to Taylor Smith for the insurance 3-1 line and our first friendly win! Daniel Peacock continues to blow easy opportunities.

Brett Girling is formally named team captain and Atal Hinds is named vice-captain, despite the very strong case for Jake Handbury, who's a few years younger, to receive the second spot. But Hinds is 22 to Handbury's 19.

At 37, Girling is definitely the old man of the group. A few 22 year olds are the next oldest, so everyone is punch-pleased to see him get named as captain.

Signings
ST Rob Clegg (16) - 0.5 gray/5*
MC Tristan Jarvis (20) - 1 silver/5*

I'm not sure how much more I can rely on my coaches' opinions. They keep fluctuating wildly, but I'm hoping later in the season will sort things out... but for now.

Eastern Counties Premier League Game #1 - vs Ely City
GK Kieran Roberts (16)
DL Jake Handbury (19)
DC Brett Girling (37)
DC Fraser Sturgess (18)
DR Nathan Speed (22)
ML Chris Allison (16)
MC Aaron Malton (20)
MC Atal Hinds (22)
MR Taylor Smith (16)
ST Daniel Peacock (16)
ST Rob Clegg (16)

We're favored to win this one shockingly, so we'll see what happens. I'm not sure about this. After all, we do have five 16 year olds in the lineup. By comparison, Ely City is a lot of 19 and 20 year olds with one 15 year old starting at MC, and a 31 year old starting at DC.

18 - Taylor Smith has been ever-present today and Fraser Sturgess saved our bacon on two plays already. But Daniel Peacock and Rob Clegg have been awful, and then there's this horrifying sequence. Kieran Roberts runs out to get the ball, which he does, but then it slips out of his hand and he's on the ground on the freaking right side of the pitch and they cross inside... fortunately their striker is as bad as ours and he nervy-shanks the shot.

19 - They're denied by the woodwork. Really facing the pressure now.

22 - Kieran Roberts kicks it up field and Taylor Smith heads it on to Rob Clegg, who plays a back and forth game with Daniel Peacock. Peacock dribbles a bit to his left, sends a dreamy pass forward and to the right... and Clegg bursts through in the open space to send it in!!!!! 1-0

28 - *Another* crossbar denial for Ely. They have to be getting pissed right about now.

35 - Rob Clegg, the hero of our first goal, kicks it back to Daniel Peacock, who makes another beaut of a pass into the six yard open space, and this time it's Taylor Smith who's there to pick it up and blast the diagonal in!!!! Wow, Peacock is really making a name for himself as a passer this game! 2-0

68 - Peacock is knocked so Jason Frost jogs on in replacement.

72 - We're getting pressured again and Roberts makes an amazing save. Frost starts a fabulous counter-move that he completes a build-up by sending it to Atal Hinds, but Hinds blows the easy shot.

73 - Dropping back into a 5-3-2 defensive, with James Russell filling in the DC slot and Hinds sitting down.

82 - Clegg steals the ball on a goal kick but his shot bounces off the top bar.

88 - Hopes of the shutout go away when Brett Girling's old legs are beat out and they jam one in. Dropping to Contain and hoping it holds. 2-1

Sweet moment. Daniel Peacock, my first signing, put up a 7.7 and won PotM. Other over 7s - Rob Clegg with 7.4, Taylor Smith with 7.3. Fraser Sturgess hit 7 exactly. Notice 3 of those guys are 16 year olds, including the two strikers I was leery of starting. Phenomenal work by the kids.

But it's bittersweet. Daniel Peacock is out 3 weeks with injury.

[Izulde]

96 people showed up to our first game of the season, by the way. Funny thing is, that's a great name combined for all games, we had a total of 908 spectators.

Our season ticket holders stayed at 25.

[u]Signing
MLR Matty Campbell (Turned 16 the day he signed his contract!) - 1.5*/5*
MC Tristian Jarvis (16) - 0.5*/5*

Excellent versatility depth signing, as we had literally no one backing up our wide midfielders, and now we have somebody who can play both spots. Nice birthday present for Matty to make the team.

[b]7th @ Walsham-le-Willows (8th)
GK Kieran Roberts (16)
DL Jake Handbury (19)
DC Brett Girling (37)
DC Fraser Sturgess (18)
DR Nathan Speed (22)
ML Chris Allison (16)
MC Aaron Malton (20)
MC Atal Hinds (22)
MR Matty Campbell (16)
ST Jason Frost (16)
ST Rob Clegg (16)

They're all 19 and 20 year olds with no extreme outliers in either direction, unlike us.

9 - Guess I should have listened to the pre-match report that said these guys are gold against a 4-4-2. 0-1

14 - Bullshit yellow for Sturgess.

20 - Yellow for Allison

32 - They shank an easy goal and I'm going to be making some halftime adjustments for sure.

42 - Foolish passing by our DC guys nearly cost us, but they hit the shot wide.

So I noticed in the scouting report before the game that they seem to be vulnerable to a 4-5-1, with Clegg coming off and Tristian Jarvis getting his debut in the middle. James Russell replaces Sturgess, who's just having a terrible game.

66 - Our midfield is playing even worse since the change and yeah. OH and Jarvis got knocked. 0-2

We sucked ass. All there is to it. We also lose Tristian Jarvis for a week.

(12th) vs Wisbech Town (3rd)
GK Kieran Roberts (16)
DL James Russell (22)
DC Brett Girling (37)
DC Fraser Sturgess (18)
DR Nathan Speed (22)
ML Matty Campbell (16)
MC Aaron Malton (20)
MC Oliver Topliss (19)
MR Taylor Smith (16)
ST Jason Frost (16)
ST Rob Clegg (16)

Topliss is the original Breslander I signed by accident. Love that last name, though.

2 - Another poor play by team captain Brett Girling and I'm going to find a replacement for him.. quick. 0-1

21 - Taylor Smith! The beautiful 25 yard free kick strike! Level! 1-1

Some shuffling along the line at the half. Nathan Speed moves to DL, James Russell to DC, Callum Adams at DR, and Fraser Strugess, who is having an even worse game than Girling (5.4), ends his participation.

63 - We also switched to an attacking game to start the second half, but it hasn't gotten us on much. Atal Hinds in for the exhausted and poorly playing Marton at this stage.

77 - On a throw-in by I forget who, Topliss takes the ball and sends it forward to Frost just outside the six-yard box. Frost takes two steps in and lofts a diagonal that finds its way in!!! Defensive, here we come! 2-1

87 - Taylor Smith picks off a goal kick and pushes it up for Jason Frost who punches it in! ...Only to be called back by offsides. Boo.

Beaut of a comeback win. Rob Clegg snares a 7.4 and PotM, and he's joined by Taylor Smith (7.3), Jason Frost (7.3), and Kieran Roberts (7.2) in our 7+ club. In short, the 16 year olds continue to show they know what's what.

Oh yeah, we broke the 100 attendance mark with 101.

Signings
MR Carl McEachran (16) - 1.5*/5*
DL/MC Ashton Jephcott (23) - 4.5*/5* (2.5*/5* as MC)
DC Jake Wells (16) - 0.5 silver/5*

According to our scouts' current opinions, what this means is that we can move Aaron Malton to the backline and strengthen our defense immensely. It'll also weaken our midfield, but so what?

vs Gorleston FC - Chell Trophy 1st Round
GK Kieran Roberts (16)
DL Aston Jephcott (23)
DC James Russell (22)
DC Fraser Sturgess (18)
DR Jake Handbury (19)
ML Chris Allison (16)
MC Atal Hinds (22)
MC Oliver Topliss (20)
MR Carl McEachran (16)
ST Jason Frost (16)
ST Rob Clegg (16)

We desperately need more strikers, but they keep rejecting our offers, so we're having to go with an exhausted pair up front. The Chell Trophy is apparently the non-league teams trophy, so that's pretty cool. We have little chance of winning, though.

11 - Yellow for Hinds

18 - Brilliant takeaway by Hinds, and Frost passes it to Clegg, but the shot is uninspired and right at the keeper.

26 - Brilliant run by their man Collier, but he spoils the finish.

29 - Masterful interception by Handbury, who blasts it to Frost. Once again, Clegg finds himself with an open shot after the pass... and this time he sinks it!!!! 1-0

42 - Fuck the accidental long range goals that are supposed to be passes. 1-1

44 - Clegg makes a great pass to a lone McEachran on the far post, but our newest signing nets it.

46 - REDEMPTION ISLAND! Handbury makes yet another brilliant move to gain possession, boots it to McEachran, and then watches as the latter crosses it to a waiting Allison, who knocks it on for the just before half lead!!!! 2-1

48 - I warn them not to get complacent and what happens? They allow a goal. I send in Malton for Topliss, who is looking overmatched here and is basically the one who caused the tie to happen. 2-2

63 - Shit. 2-3

85 - Frost gets knocked, yellow for Sturgess, and Hinds gets call offsides on what should have been an easy goal.

The frustrating thing is, we actually played better overall in the second half, so I can't tear into them really. Just one of those games. It's also a two-leg split, so we're down by a goal heading into the away leg.

Our effort to bring in an international fails when we can't get a work permit approved.

Signing
DC Luke Eaton (18) - 2*/5*

We're just trying to find a rhythm in our mid backline right now because nothing is working.

6th @ Cambridge Regional College (3rd)
GK Kieran Roberts (16)
DL Nathan Speed (22)
DC Jake Wells (16)
DC Luke Eaton (18)
DR Callum Adams (18)
DM Aston Jephcott (23)
ML Matty Campbell (16)
MC Tristian Jarvis (20)
MC Aaron Malton (20)
MR Taylor Smith (16)
ST Jason Frost (16)

A 4-1-4-1 that we're playing defensively with due to being on the road and *still* lacking striker bodies.

Topliss comes on for Malton at the break, and we're playing this defensive game to perfection - even had a shot or two on their goal as well to keep things honest.

56 - Fabulous shake and bake by Campbell, but his shot *just* glances off the woodwork.

66 - Jarvis is injured twice, so we move Jephcott to MC and drop down to a 5-4-1, with Brett Girling coming in at DC to get a shot at redemption.

75 - McEachran is in for Smith

We played that game to absolute perfection. Jake Wells gets a 7.7 and MoM, Nathan Speed got a 7.3, and we pick up the point.

Brett Girling's Fitness stands out as an issue in training, and he's pretty much done as a starter.

Signings
DLC Robbie Haughton (16) - 1 silver/5*
ST Moses Jjunju (29) 3.5*/3.5*

We finally get a damned striker to sign with us! Even better, he's our first international (Ugandan) and our third non-English player (Fraser Sturgess and Aaron Malton are Welsh). But wait, there's more! He's also our best striker according to our coaches. YAY! He speaks English fluently and basic Swahili, and is eligible for both England and Uganda.

I also notice when Googling him that he actually exists and has a LinkedIn account. How cool is that? If he has success, I should send him a nerdy InMail, or maybe not. Who knows?

Anyway... Daniel Peacock is also back from his injury, so we're actually looking like a real live team for once.

(6th) vs FC Clacton (16th)
GK Kieran Roberts (16)
DL Jake Handbury (19)
DC Luke Eaton (18)
DC Fraser Sturgess (18)
DR Nathan Speed (22)
ML Chris Allison (16)
MC Atal Hinds (22)
MC Aaron Malton (20)
MR Taylor Smith (16)
ST Moses Jjunju (29)
ST Rob Clegg (16)

Yes, I'm giving Sturgess another chance. Malton's on the watchlist as well, as he's had a rough patch as of late (6.2 average rating). We've a lot of spare parts lying around right now as well. And because they're all amateur contracts, they still show up on the senior squad selection screen even when you move them to the reserves or U18s (also probably because we aren't fielding an actual team in those leagues).

5 - And there's a red card after one of their guys elbows Nathan Speed in the face!!! We're going on the attack, boys!

23 - Yellow for Hinds

26 - Amazing save by their keeper.

And yeah... otherwise a first half that doesn't at all look like they're down one man. I light up into the team at half, which makes Nathan Speed Eeyore on me. Matty Campbell comes in for Taylor Smith.

71 - Two yellows for us and we continue playing like shit. Peacock goes on for Jjunju.

A fucking 0-0 draw when we have a man advantage the entire fucking match. That shit is UNACCEPTABLE!

@Gorleston FC (2nd Leg Chell Trophy 1st Round)
GK Kieran Roberts
DL Aston Jephcott
DC Brett Girling
DC Fraser Sturgess
DR Nathan Speed
ML Matty Campbell
MC Atal Hinds
MC Aaron Malton
MR Taylor Smith
ST Moses Jjunju
ST Jason Frost

Hoping stability and continuity in the lineup over the next few games (as much as I can manage it) helps this team starting gelling together.

Twice in the first 10 minutes we've had shots that were right on target but their keeper makes a brilliant save. Later in the half, on the opposite end, they have a couple they should've sunk, but shanked the shots.

47 - Peacock in for Jjunju, Campbell switching to MR, and Allison in at ML.

59 - PENALTY AWARDED!!!! JASON FROST CONVERTS!!! 1-0

67 - Speed is hurt and has to come off, so Handbury steps in for him.

We're going to extra time!

108 - Fuck. Frost goes out and we're out of subs and strikers.

113 - FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING HOBGNOBBLING FUCKSTICK OF A FUCKING FOOTBALL THAT'S REALLY FUCKIGN SOCCER GAME! WE GET THE FUCKIGN ADVANTAGE AND CAN'T DO SHIT WITH IT BUT THEY CAN FUCKIGN SCORE A GOD DAMNED FUCKING EXTRA TIME GOAL TO FUCKING SCREW US OVER?! EAT ME! 1-2

Oh and Nathan Speed is out 5 to 6 weeks on top of it.

Fuck you so much, FM. Seriously.

[Izulde]

(7th) @ Woodbridge Town (10th)
GK Kieran Roberts
DL James Russell
DC Jake Wells
DC Luke Eaton
DR Callum Adams
ML Matty Campbell
MC Oliver Topliss
MC Tristian Jarvis
MR Taylor Smith
ST Moses Jjunju
ST Daniel Peacock

Very C-list lineup here due to players needing a rest.

15 - Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand of course Roberts comes way out, makes a shitty kick, and is 9 thousand fucking miles away from goal when they hit a shot, making an easy score. 0-1

This team has been a joke today. McEachran and Clegg in for Smith and Peacock.

Jake Wells wins MoM in the loss with an 8.1 rating. 2 starts, 2 MoM awards. Worth thinking about.

Signing
ST/AMR Michael Husbands (28) - 5*/5*

A St. Lucia international, he *just* got his first cap with the national team, which is how he caught my attention. I think it's time to do shifting of my tactics and he and his 13 Pace could potentially play a role in that.

So after going through all my information from my coaches, this is what I've arrived at as the ideal tactic and lineup for our squad:



ML and MR are allegedly the major issues, but everywhere else seems okay from a starting lineup perspective. Bar DR though, we have serious depth problems. So from now on, assume that's our outlook and lineup unless pre-game notes indicate otherwise.

vs Stanway Rovers (Eastern Counties Senior Cup First Round
Matty Campbell says he's tired, so Taylor Smith will get first crack at our new look.

7 - BS disallowed goal, but so far it's looking like the tactic may work out. Early days yet.

17 - Now it's their turn to have a goal disallowed, due to a foul.

27 - Wahtever. 0-1

McEachran goes on for Smith at the half, who has been shit all game.

51 - The ball's booted up to Jjunju, who sends it out in a line for Husbands to pick up, and our shiny new international cap poacher takes three strides and powers it home! After the celebration, Topliss is in for Hinds, who is having an awful day. 1-1

61 - Topliss wins the header challenge on a goal kick and nods it to Jjunju. Our Ugandan weaves his way down the pitch until he sees a spot open for our St. Lucian, and just like that, the pacey Husbands is racing forward to knock in his second goal of the game. Comeback.is.here! 2-1

Oh and Girling and Sturgess pick up yellow cards along the way, but we get the win so it's all good.

Obviously Michael Husbands is MoM with his brace of goals and 8.8 rating, but full credit to Moses Jjunju, who finally has the kind of game we envisioned when we signed him, and a 7.5 rating. 7.1 and 7.0 for Sturgess and Girling respectively as well.

Sad part? Just 12 people came to the game

It was the St. Lucian striker's first game for an English team since Oxford United in 2008. Yeah, the League 2 side Oxford United.

We aren't given any prize money for the win strangely, which would really help, since we're apparently $670k in debt and in the process of paying off a substantial loan.

Signing
ST Richard Priest (22) - 5*/5*

I'm not seeing it, but my scout and my two coaches love this guy to take Moses Jjunju's starting spot as the Advanced Forward. We'll see.

(11th) vs Gorleston FC (15th)
We lost to these guys in cup play, remember? So I really want to beat them here.

Moses Jjunju takes on the Poacher spot while Richard Priest gets a debut start at Advanced Forward. Matty Campbell takes over at ML and James Russell gets a reluctant nod at DL, all due to energy things.

33 - I fucking hate Clayton Collier. Scores on us every fucking game. 0-1

Only the crossbar saves us from a 2 goal hole at the break. I scream at the palyers, drop Hinds to MC and put Topliss in at AMC because Marton is just wiped.

49 - Smith is knocked. We have no cover.

76 - Campbell sets a perfect cross for Jjunju, but he flubs it. Kicking myself for not starting Husbands now.

We lose Taylor Smith for 2 weeks. I cut James Russell and Robbie Haughton to make myself feel better.

Signing
DRC Egzon Asllani (21) - 4*/4*

He won't unseat either of our two DR guys but he has the ability to add major depth to both DR and DC.

vs Arundel (FA Vase Qualifying Round)
This is Atal Hinds' last chance to prove himself at the AMC spot, or he's going to get canned. We're heavy underdogs here.

We spend the entire first half defending and not being able to get anything going on offense. Priest is in for Jjunju at the break.

80 - This is me throwing and probably breaking my pen. Jarvis in for Marton or HTFE you spell his name. 0-1

89 - Oh look, 0-2.

Morale is completely in the shitter.

I hate this game.

[Brian Swartz]

I scream at the palyers

Maybe they didn't listen because they don't know what in the name of Izulde a 'palyer' is(I think typos are sometimes funnier than what's intended).

80 - This is me throwing and probably breaking my pen. Jarvis in for Marton or HTFE you spell his name. 0-1

I lol'ed at pretty much this whole game.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

Maybe they didn't listen because they don't know what in the name of Izulde a 'palyer' is(I think typos are sometimes funnier than what's intended).

When I get that mad, I tend to ignore all the typos.

I lol'ed at pretty much this whole game.

Glad my fury amuses.

[Izulde]

(14th) @ Brantham Athletic (12th)
Rob Clegg gets the Poacher's spot and Luke Eaton gets a start at DC. Carl McEachran is in at MR. And we're underdogs.

19 - We're making great plays, but our finishing is dreadful. They of course score on a free kick 0-1

45 - Yellow for Girling

46 - Yeah. Saw that one coming. 0-2

58 - Asllani in at DR for Handbury

69 - Clegg is knocked out of the game. In comes Priest. Yeah, we need a bloody miracle here.

Hinds gets hurt just before the game ends. The team ignores me at the post-game talk.

We sign 16 year old MLR Kevin Grinstead. He sucks right now, but we need bodies.

@ Haverhill Rovers (1st)


Only because there's so many changes from our usual lineup and I don't feel like writing them all down. We have pretty much no shot here.

58 - Jjunju sprays it out to Campbell, who punts it up for a streaking Husbands to dart in and kick the ball for our first goal in forever, and our first lead in even longer. 1-0

67 - Husbands miffs an easy one, and Jason Frost and Callum Adams slide in at advanced forward and DR respectively.


92 - Diagonal shot by Husbands is deflected, and accidental signing Topliss is there of all people to slot it in!!! 2-0

8.3 for MoM Michael Husbands of course, but also 7.6 for Matty Campbell, 7.5 for Brett Girling and Oliver Topliss, and 7.4 for Fraser Sturgess, Jake Handbury, and Kieran Roberts.

What a phenomenal upset win!

[Izulde]

Training Report
Brett Girling continues to get sad faces for his declining Fitness, but Kieran Roberts has our first happy face with his Tactics training.

We continue to fail at bringing in Ghanian players.

The team lost $206 last month and we're in a poor financial situation due to loan payments.

Nathan Speed is back to training, but Jason Frost is out a week due to practice injury.

Signings
MC Sam Shepherd (30) - 5*/5*
MR Jason McAree (23) - 4*/5*

Both should be new starting lineup guys for the time being, which means Matty Campbell will now take over the ML spot, again, for now.

(14th) vs Dereham Town (19th)
GK Kieran Roberts
DL Aston Jephcott
DC Fraser Sturgess
DC Brett Girling
DR Jack Handbury
ML Matty Campbell
MC Sam Shepherd
MR Jason McAree
AMC Atal Hinds
ST Richard Husbands
ST Moses Jjunju

Should be a winnable game. There's a lot of jokes to be made about how when you're young, you're Girling, but if you're not girling, then you're Handbury, and a lot of Husbands Handbury, too.

Oh, and before the game Michael Husbands is called up by St. Lucia. Game is on October 12th. I'm drinking wine so I don't know what day it is in game, nor do I really care.

Oh, and I change all backline guys to defend, and all midfielders to support, just to see what happens.

2 - Yellow for Campbell

34 - Neither side is doing much on offense until this sequence, whereupon they keep hammering, hammering, hammering until they finally score a rebound goal. 0-1

46 - Fuck you and your last second goals before the half, AI. 0-2

I scream at the players, switch to a flat 4-4-2, and bring in Aaron Malton at MC instead of Hinds, who is permanently benched.

75 - A couple more yellows for our guys along the way. Priest on for Jjunju

81 - Glimmer of hope afterGirling corners it to head of Jephcott and it goes in. 1-2

84 - And they corner kick goal right back at us. Heh. 1-3

87 - Shepherd's blasted out with injury. I do changes that bring in Nathan Speed at DR. So does not matter.

93 - Priest with a free kick goal inside the half-circle. Too bad it's way too little, way too late 2-3

Meh. I've got better things to do today than watch us keep losing.

[Izulde]

Fraser Sturgess is banned from the next match due to yellow cards limit.

In a 2-2 draw against Curaco, St. Lucia striker Michael Husbands put up a 6.0 rating and got pulled at the half.

(15th) vs Godmanchester Rovers (20th)
I decide to start Rob Clegg up front with Richard Priest, because Moses Jjunju stinks and Michael Husbands is on his way back from sucking ass. Atal Hinds starts at MC with Oliver Topliss at AMC, and Luke Eaton gets the nod at DC. I also switch MC to defend and ML/MR to Attack. The two FBs get changed to Support.

25 - Girling misses an interception and I'm out of wine. 0-1

31 - Hinds kicks it up to Campbell who crosses to Clegg sitting 20 yards out... and the long strike goes in! 1-1

35 - And they kill us on the counter. 1-2

39 - FML. 1-3

More screaming.

46 - Clegg steals a loose ball and passes it to Campbell. Long pass to Priest and I'm expecting him to kick it right at the keeper, and he does, but the keeper can't hang on and Priest hits the rebound. 2-3

53 - Priest is knocked out and Moses Jjunju has to come on anyway.

55 - Because fluke goals can never go our fucking way, that's why. Speed in for Handbury. 2-4

65 - Clegg makes a great pass to Jjunju, who then sends it to space where Topliss is waiting to drill it home. 3-4

68 - Wow. Moses Jjunju runs in front of a goal kick, blocks it with his body, beats the keeper to the ball, and literally runs it into the goal for the tie score! 4-4

73 - And of course they score right back. 4-5

81 - And there's a hat trick by one of their guys 4-6

More yelling. Rob Clegg gets a good convo though - he's been one of our best players all year long and continues to be so here.

We lose Richard Priest for 2 months. Not that I really care.

Jake Handbury is taken to task by the media for complacency and needless to say he's being dropped from the lineup. Our 10 goal combined score sets a new league record.

Kieran Roberts is getting torn apart by the media as well, but we have no other keepers.

We sign a truckload of new guys, including a couple of goalies. I don't even want to list them all. Michael Husbands puts up a 6.6 rating in a 4-0 loss to Grenada.

He then puts up a 5.9 stinker in a 2-0 loss to Barbados and is yanked after 60 minutes.

(17th) @ Midenhall Town (15th)


I did this new lineup by highest ratings for each particular position (save for Husbands still away on international duty. Plus a few new guys:

*GK JJ Banasco-Zargoza a 20 year old who should be lots better than Kieran Roberts
*ML Ronnie Linsdale, 16 and part of our continuing revolving door there.
*AMC Ben Kistell, a 29 year old who drew rave reviews when we landed him, so I'm going to give him a shot.

44 - Boring first half until Taylor Smith gets hurt and Atal Hinds can't convert a PK.

20 year old George Jones, a very versatile MLR/AMC we signed, makes his debut at the break by playing for Smith. Overall we've been playing pretty well against a team that's supposed to destroy us.

51 - Ronnie Linsdale chases down a block Jjunju shot and centers to Ben Kistell, who had an awful first half (6.0). Here, he crackerjacks a shot in the half-circle and scores a debut goal! 1-0

62 - An epic series of long passes back and forth finishes off with a movement that sees Kistell punt back to Hinds, which segues to a boomer to Jones, who runs deeper into the six yard box than a porn star before hammering that net hardcore, and another debut goal! 2-0

67 - A terrible goal kick by JJBZ nearly gives back the cushion, but they fortunately shank it.

72 - Asllani shifts to DC and Nathan Speed comes on. It's been a terrific game by Luke Eaton, but the kid's tired.

83 - Asllani intercepts a pass and gives it to Jjunju. The Ugandan blasts an amazing half-pitch length diagonal, where Kistell is all alone. Short run and torrid boot later, it's a double goal with the note: "Someone must have had a word with him at halftime!" 3-0

Just an absolutely astounding game. But the last time we won, we were heavy 'dogs too, so maybe that has something to do with it.

How dominant were we? Only Atal Hinds and Taylor Smith had less than a 7 at 6.8 each. The 7.5 plus guys - JJ Banasco-Zargoza and Egzon Asllani with a 7.8, George Jones with a 7.7, Ben Kistell with an 8.8, and the Man of the Match, the kid who put on the single greatest showing we've had all year... Jake Wells with a 9.0, who destroyed everyone. This is the same 16 year old who's 7.7 and 8.1 in his first two performances convinced me he was the right one to start, and did he ever reward us in this one.

Oh and he's also a 6'8, 205 lbs 16 year old. That is one tall ass glass of water and probably has a lot to do with why he's been so amazeballs at this level.

Come to think of it....

6' or Taller Players In That Lineup
DC Jake Wells - 6'8, 205 (16)
MR George Jones - 6'4, 200 (20)
DC Luke Eaton - 6'4, 200 (18)
ST Rob Clegg - 6'2, 176 (16)
DR Egzon Asllani - 6'0, 189 (21)
GK JJ Balansco-Zargoza - 6'0, 180 (20)

Of course, size alone doesn't do it, or Kieran Roberts (6'1, 174), Aaron Malton (6'2, 185), Jason Frost (6'1, 171), Fraser Sturgess (6'0, 176) would clearly have won their places in the starting 11 and stayed there, rather than getting beaten out.

I can imagine how intimidating that 6'8 and 6'4 combo in the central defense must have looked to our opponents today, though. Wow, just wow.

[Brian Swartz]

Originally Posted by Izulde

Meh. I've got better things to do today than watch us keep losing

Your last game sorta ruined the vibe, but still ...

If you can't do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly .

[Izulde]

St. Lucia actually beats Dominican Republic 3-0, but Michael Husbands only lasts 74 minutes with a 6.1 rating.

Board's still satisfied. We lost $1.71k last month due to loan payments again.

FUCK! JJ Banasco-Zargoza is out 2 months after breaking his collarbone. Just when we finally find a decent goalie.... GRR!

@ Felixstowe & Walton United - Eastern Counties Senior Cup 2nd Round
George Jones starts at MR and Michael Husbands is the poacher. We were able to snap up 22 year goalie Matthew Malek as a replacement tryout for JJBZ.

Another game we're expected to get crushed in.

5 - Lots of pressure, but no soap for us.

24 - Aaaand they score on a rebound. Ugh. 0-1

25 - We keep coming sooo close, and they keep lucking out every time.

We put in Nathan Speed and Taylor Smith on the right side at the break, hoping that'll give us what we need to snap back.

47 - I swear Jjunju's shot was going to go in.

62 - Malek slips on the damn grass. 0-2

73 - Kistell booms one far down the field for Jjunju, who wins the race on the far left side before backpassing to the right where Smith needs to sink it, and he does. Lifeline, how slender! 1-2

77 - Bullshit offisides call on Husbands after he scores the equalizer.

Truth is we were damn unlucky. I feel like we played well enough to win. 7 flat for Kistell and Eaton

I curse out the refs at the post-game presser, and the FA doesn't say a damn thing because the replays say I was right about that!

I'm getting really sick of the question about resting key players. They've asked me that the last two games now and I know it's because of the squad status of some of the guys that aren't playing, but guess what? They haven't earned it on the pitch despite numerous opportunities.

(14th) @ Kirkley & Pakefield (7th)
Matty Campbell gets the start at ML - otherwise the same as last game.

8 - Kistell gets knocked, but we'll see if he can shake it off.

36 - Ugh. 0-1

44 - ... 0-2

Atal Hinds will no longer start anywhere after this game for the foreseeable future. George Jones moves to MC and Taylor Smith takes over at MR. Rob Clegg also comes on for the awful Husbands.

47 - Because an own goal needs to add to the misery 0-3

66 - Aaaaaaaand another surrendered hat-trick 0-4

70 - ...Need.more.wine. 0-5

88 - Jones dribbles and passes to Kistell for the score. They're the only two playing anything close to well today 1-5

90 - JJunju to Wells on a corner and *now* we decide we want to scoree. 2-5

Every time I think I've figured out how to get this team back on track, I get informed I'm wrong again.

IHATETHISGAMEZOMG.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

Your last game sorta ruined the vibe, but still ...

If you can't do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly .

Oh, the vibe is still there :P

[Izulde]

Taylor Smith moves from Key Player to Hot Prospect, which upsets him, but after a short chat, he's fine with it.

(15th) vs Hadleigh United (1st)
Nathan Speed and Aston Jephcott take the DL and DR spots, while Aaron Malton occupies MC. Hoping those changes can snap the funk we're in.

3 - Knock for Husbands but he'll play on.

5 - Campbell wins the battle for a ball and shoots a laser beam down the pitch to Husbands, who dribbles and hits a long cross to Jjunju. Goalie's out of position and the Ugandan hits, only to have a defender kick it out of the open net... but Kistell's right there to put in the rebound! 1-0

6 - They should've nailed the equalizer, but don't.

17 - 30 yard free kick goal. Ugh. 1-1

19 - Thankfully their go ahead goal is disallowed due to offsides.

24 - Brilliant play by them. Fuck. 1-2

31 - Absolutely beautiful pass from Husbands into open space for Jjunju to get there and equalize. 2-2

37 - Wide open shot, and they shank it.

Ergzon Asllani comes in at DC at the break for a tired Jake Wells. We're getting awful play from our fullbacks and MC again.

51 - Speed redeems himself by punting it to Kistell, who follows through with a silky pass to Husbands, and a kick from our international capped striker later, we have the lead! 3-2

65 - Evidently it's redemption half for our fullbacks. Jephcott makes a sensational takeaway and hammers it to Jjunju. The latter's shot is deflected, but he has the presence of mind to follow through and sink the rebound in his first ever two goal game for us!!! 4-2

With that lead comfortably in hand, we can pull the tired Husbands in favor of Rob Clegg.

Great all-around performance in that second half. Matthew Malek finishes with a 7.2 and Ben Kistell (8.5), Michael Husbands (8.4), and MoM Moses Jjunju (8.8), are really showing the benefit of experience at this level, as all are either 29 or 30 at this point. More interestingly, after poor first halves by our fullbacks and center midfielder, all finish with 6.8 or 6.9 ratings.

14th @ Norwich United (2nd)
We'll keep the same lineup as last time, but experiment with a Counter philosophy.

6 - An absolutely amazing exchange of passes between Jjunju and Husbands leads to the latter having an open look at the goal, and it goes in! Great start. 1-0

17 - A timely tackle by Wells starts a move that culminates in Jjunju passing to Husbands and an open space pass to Kistell, who finishes off the breakaway with a great goal! Maybe this team is made to play counter ball? 2-0

23 - Malek very stupidly opts to take the goal kick on the sideline, and when Speed loses the challenge, the 40 yard strike has no trouble beating our reserve keeper to the net. 2-1

35 - Yellow for Kistell

41 - Jjunju has a wide open shot after a brilliant side pass from Husbands, but he shanks it.

49 - Another terrible fucking goal kick by Malek. Ugh! 2-2

51 - Asllani in for Speed, who's played well, but is tired.

55 - Total fucking collapse. Fuck this. 2-3

60 - Jones hits a 25 yard cross pass to Kistell, and a little triangle follows of Kistell, Husbands, and Jjunju, with the last of them hitting the equalizer. Allison in for Campbell 3-3

76 - Tons of pressure from the opposition, and on top of it, Kistell's hurt and has to come off. Just great. Jones moves to AMC and Taylor Smith comes on at MR.

89 - A rare missed header by Wells and they score the fucking go ahead goal 3-4

91 - One of their guys gets sent off. Not that it fucking matters.

What horseshit. We still can't find a DL back worth his salt, and that's getting frustrating.

Signing
DLR Michael Higginbotham (16)

Yet another prospect to try out at DL and see if it works.

(15th) @ Felixstowe & Walton United (7th)[/b]
Some shifts here. Higginbotham at DL, Fraser Sturgess replacing Luke Eaton, who has been up and down. Taylor Smith at MR, Dan Murwill, an AMC prospect we signed a while back, there. And goalkeeper prospect Eddie Piper in the net. Lot of debuts in this one.

We'll stick with the Counter as it seemed to work okay overall last game.

47 - We get the break of an own goal to start the second half. We'll take it, why not? Our defense has been playing quite well - knock on wood. 1-0

50 - Fuck. Even knocked on wood. 1-1

60 - Jones goes in at MC, Campbell moves to MR, and Allison slots in at ML.

71 - Doing what he can to keep that starting spot, Sturgess pulls off a great interception and arcs it to Husbands, who burns everyone else on the pitch and hits a magical strike for the lead! 2-1

82 - Allison kicks a corner to Sturgess' head, and it's the first ever goal for the Welsh defender!!! 3-1

88 - A whole lot of passing finishes off in Husbands hitting a beaut of a ball for Jones, who shanks it off the upper crossbar, but the follow-through is there for the epic finish!!! 4-1

Yeah, I think it's safe to say the counter's working okay. I mean if Matthew Malek hadn't fucked up those two goal kicks last game, we would have won.

In this game, 7.1 for Nathan Speed, 7.3 for Jake Wells, 7.2 for Michael Higginbotham in his debut, 7.3 for Aaron Malton, 8.4 for Michael Husbands, 7.5 for George Jones, and 9.1 for Fraser Sturgess in an incredible return to the lineup after having gotten benched for several games.

Good Trains
Matty Campbell
Moses Jjunju
Sam Shepherd

Bad Trains
Richard Priest
Carl McEachran

Sam Shepherd got his shot but has been lost in the shuffle since failing to impress in his debut. I may have to give him another chance, based on this.

11th vs Wivenhoe Town (12th)
GK Eddie Piper
DL Aston Jephcott
DC Egzon Asllani
DC Luke Eaton
DR Callum Adams
ML Matty Campbell
MC Sam Shepherd
MR George Jones
AMC Ben Kistell
ST Richard Husbands
ST Moses Jjunju

As it turns out, Sam Shepherd gets his shot this game, with Aaron Malton needing a rest. The backline situation scares me in this critical game to be honest, but it's how things broke out. Our wide midfielders, AMC, and strikers are our usual preferred though, so that's good. We're at home, but I'm still going to stick with the Counter game, given its results in the first two contests.

2 - And there's Jjunju on the corner, and there's Sam Shepherd latching on to it and slipping it in. OH YEAH! to that start. 1-0

10 - Indeed they should have scored. My backline worries are warranted.

44 - Husbands gets hurt right before the half, but he'll shake it off and play on.

Taylor Smith comes on at MR for the tired Jones at the break. We've been playing extremely well, so let's see if we can keep this up and not have a second half meltdown.

48 - Terrible job on defense. 1-1

57 - Allison in for Campbell, who has been playing poorly since the half.

73 - Distant strike. Eddie Piper looks awfully limited as a goalie. Clegg in for Husbands 1-2

Yet another game where we played well enough to win, but just couldn't quite get it done.

[bbgunn]

Don't worry too much. After having gone through all this crap and crud, you'll enjoy it so much more when the good stuff comes in later seasons.

(Of course, who am I to talk? I've come close to throwing my PC out the window on several occasions during FM games!)

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by bbgunn

Don't worry too much. After having gone through all this crap and crud, you'll enjoy it so much more when the good stuff comes in later seasons.

(Of course, who am I to talk? I've come close to throwing my PC out the window on several occasions during FM games!)

I sure hope so! I've told myself I will not, under any circumstances, be allowed to rage-quit, so we'll see how far I can get these guys.

[Izulde]

Oh, and more bad news. We lose Michael Husbands for 2 weeks in that game.

(14th) vs Diss Town (11th)
GK: Kieran Roberts
D: Michael Higginbotham/Fraser Sturgess/Jake Wells/Nathan Speed
M: Matty Campbell/Sam Shepherd/George Jones
AMC: Ben Kistell
ST: Rob Clegg/Moses Jjunju

Very winnable game - in fact, we're actually favored at first blush.

14 - Yellow for Higginbotham. We've had a couple shots come close but just bounce off.

34 - A sliding tackle by Shepherd puts them right in position to score and they do. 0-1

We're playing like ass, and our passing has been dreadful. Jones is yanked for Taylor Smith.

53 - Down goes Clegg and Smith gets hit with a yellow. Daniel Peacock on for Clegg.

61 - Kistell's been having a bad day, but here he finds Shepherd who hoofs it to Smith. Smith then finds Jjunju's feet, and what seems like forever running later, the Ugandan strikes it in to equalize. Kistell gets a yellow on the ensuing possession. 1-1

67 - Yellow for Campbell. Ref is being a real dick to us.

75 - 1-2

91 - Jjunju's shot cracks off the woodwork like so many of his attempts do, and his try at a rebound fails when he gets the ball stolen from him, but in the midst of all that traffic, Kistell finds the ball loose and pokes it in. 2-2

For the umpteenth game in a row, we played well, but just missed that certain little something to win.

Our run on striker injuries continues. Now Rob Clegg is out 5 to 6 weeks.

Reserves
A 1-1 draw. Richard Priest scores a goal in the 82nd minute, but Matthew Malek gives up the equalizer in the remaining 10 minutes. Story of how this season has gone for us.

(15th) @ Stanway Rovers (18th)
Same lineup as last game, with the exception of Michael Husbands getting back into the lineup, so bar our keeper, we're now at our technically ideal side.

37 - It's pouring rain and both sides have looked sluggish out there, but then Higginbotham boots a beautiful ball to the head of Husbands, who wins the aerial battle, strides forward through the muck, and drills it in for the lead! 1-0



We're once again playing well enough to win and this time we have the actual lead to show for it.

47 - Great ball by Jjunju to Jones, who dribbles to the right side of the penalty box and sits there until the attackers arrive. He crosses to Campbell who loses the challenge, but once again Kistell is there to clean up and knock it in! 2-0

51 - Knock for Shepherd, so Aaron Malton comes on.

62 - Husbands shows sensational awareness by backtracking to grab a loose ball, and it starts a move that caps off with Campbell carving through the defense before deftly passing off to the right for Jones to get the easy score. 3-0

73 - Daniel Peacock goes in for a tired Husbands

75 - Jjunju gets the ball mid-sequence, waits a bit, and passes it to Peacock in the penalty area. My first signing waits as well, and once the defense is drawing close, centers to a wide open Jjunju, who strikes it clean in the nets. 4-0

This is the type of dominance this team is capable of. All starters except Shepherd scored above a 7, with the following 7.5+ highlights: Nathan Speed (7.6), Jake Wells (8.1), George Jones (8.2 - MoM), Matty Campbell (7.6), [b], Moses Jjunu (8.1 - Warning: Doesn't seem to be listening... he's getting cocky, I think

Sam Shepherd is out 4-5 weeks.

(12th) @ Ely City(5th)
We're playing on short rest, so [b]Aaron Malton (MC), Taylor Smith (MR), and yes, Jake Handbury (DL) are all getting starts today.

2 - Knock for Michael Husbands, but he'll fight on.

10 - Sigh. CAN WE PLEASE FUCKING WIN TWO GOD DAMNED MOTHERFUCKING GAMES IN A ROW THIS SEASON?! 0-1

11 - A Kistell/Campbell/Husbands triangle hypotenuses to Jjunju, who angles a rocket into the nets. Immediate answer FTT. 1-1

13 - Fuck this exchange bullshit. 1-2

20 - Fuck Ely City too. Now they've hurt Matty Campbell, but he'll battle it out too.

25 - Campbell picks up the rebound of a deflected Jjunju shot and centers it. In the ensuing scrum, Husbands fights his way to the open shot and puts it in. Like I said, fuck you and your dirty ass tricks, Ely City. 2-2

41 - Jjunju belts the corner to where Sturgess rises above everyone else and knocks it in. I have no faith that this lead will hold, but still, fuck you, Ely City. 3-2

45 - Sturgess makes a great interception and hits it forward to Husbands, who sprays it to Campbell. Our injured left midfielder then jackhammers it into the penalty box where Jjunju is striding forward to kick it in. Ely City cries and complains about the goal, saying it was offsides. Jjunju raises both middle fingers and the team dances around the water-logged pitch, singing. What do they sing? 4-2



We're tired as fuck at the half, which is worrying for the second 45 minutes, but screw it. We'll drag our exhausted asses out as much as possible before I dip into the subs.

49 - We're robbed of a PK by the ref. Fuck you, ref.

58 - Yeah I knew that was gonna happen. Peacock in for Husbands 4-3

69 - Yellow for Malton. F...whatever.

72 - Wow, they should have crushed that goal in, but we do just enough to avoid it. Atal Hinds finally gets a shot back in the lineup, replacing Kistell, who looks like he's about to pass out on the pitch.

73 JJUNJU HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MISS THAT SHIT?! PEACOCK HAD YOU SO WIDE FUCKING OPEN RENARDO SIDNEY COULD HAVE KICKED IT IN!

76 - FFS. Now Jjunju is hurt, making 3 players Ely City's injured this game. FUCK YOU, ELY CITY!!!!!!!

85 - Time to go Defensive. Not going Contain because we're still putting pressure on these jackasses.

90 - Beautiful interception by Speed to Hinds to Jjunju to Peacock, who makes a dazzling run... and blows the easy shot.

What a game indeed, Mr. Announcer!

And fuck you Ely City. And fuck you, ref, for making 93 minutes more like 94 minutes.

And fuck you Moses Jjunju and Daniel Peacock for not listening to me. But considering Jjunju had 8.8 and MoM I can't complain too much. 7.5 for Matty Campbell and 8.1 for Fraser Sturgess.

Matty Campbell - Out 3 Weeks
Michael Husbands - Out 6 To 8 Weeks

We climb up to 9th place on the back of that win, and while I have no illusions about us winning the league and promotion this year, at the very least I'm shooting for a Top 10 finish.

Dose injuries, tho... gonna make it hella difficult.

[Izulde]

Always nice to see.

Richard Priest is angry about how little time he's getting, and complaining to the media. We talk it over and he's okay for now.

Reserves
1-2 loss to Wisbech Town. Priest scores the lone goal again. But I just don't trust him.

(9th) @ Wisbech Town (8th)
Luke Eaton and Egzon Asllani take DC and DR spots, Chris Allison is in at ML, and Jason Frost earns the ST spot. All else is our ideal players with the exception of GK obviously.

3 - 35 yard free kick goal. Sigh. 0-1

29 - A BS penalty decision, but Roberts makes the save!

Danger zones with Eaton and Higginbotham so far, and the fact that our offense is struggling overall, but it's only the fluke goal that has us losing.

55 - We're not seeing any improvement from the defenders, so Malton drops to MC, Handbury goes in at DL, and Hinds pops in at MC.

65 - A fluke goal for them. Yeah we're just not meant to win this game. 0-2

75 - Malton's hurt, but he'll keep going. Jjunju hits a perfect corner to the head of Wells, but our 6'8 defenseman somehow blows it.

81 - Allison pops it up to Kistell who brings it down and passes along the floor to the left. Jjunju's there to put it in and at least continue our games scored streak. 1-2

Sigh. *Another* damned game where we played well enough to win, or at least tie, and nothing.

Aaron Malton is out for 2 weeks.

(12th) vs Walsham-le-Willows (9th)
Changes to last lineup - Atal Hinds at MC, and our ideal backline restored, including GK JJ Banasco-Zargoza. Hopefully his return will give us a needed boost against a team we're underdogs against.

9 - Jones chips it up to Kistell, who's injured in the process of heading it to Frost, but it's so cool to see Frost finally a goal for the first time in forever, the opposing keeper frozen. 1-0

23 - Jjunju boots the corner to Sturgess, but this time it's to the Welshman's feet, and he calmly kicks it in! 2-0

28 - Now Frost gets hurt!

38 - Sturgess gets the ball on the left hand side of the six yard box and centers it, where a massive pileup and scrum ensues. Of all people, it's Higganbotham who pushes through all the traffic to knock in his first ever goal for us. 3-0

Daniel Peacock comes on for the injured and winded Frost at the half, but we're destroying the Willows thanks to our superior finishing.

79 - Dan Murwill finally goes in for Kistell, and we've pretty much got this one locked up.

80 - Wow!!! Murwill gets the ball, runs down the middle of the pitch to just outside the six yard box, and then lays it in for Peacock, my first ever signing *finally* getting his first ever goal!!!! 4-0

An absolutely stellar performance by the defense. Check this out:

Nathan Speed 7.5
Jake Wells - 8.3
Fraser Sturgess - 8.7 (MoM)
Michael Higgenbotham - 8.4

That's why these guys are my preferred defenders!

Then comes the bad news.

Jason Frost out a month.
Ben Kistell out over a month.

We just can not keep our strikers healthy.

But on the bright side we're back up in 9th place with 30 points in 22 games. Norwich United is running away with the title though - 45 points in 21 games to 2nd place F.C. Clacton's 39 points in 22 games.

[Izulde]

Few things more smile-worthy than that. That's twice now in the past two weeks one of our players has gotten major props. Sturgess just needed the right role for him is all.

Norwich United is unbeaten in 12 straight games, a new record.

My attempt to sneak in a goalie to be a Player/Goalkeeping Coach fails when the board blocks me.

Good Trains
Luke Eaton
Jake Handbury

Bad Trains
Nathan Speed
Moses Jjunju

Eaton had a high mark but has since started falling off the radar. Handbury dropped off but has regained trust as a backup lately.

We lose $1.54k but the board's now officially pleased with me, still loving that Jake Wells signing.

(9th) vs Cambridge Regional College (13th)
We're massive favorites, and I really want to beat these guys because an ex-gf went to graduate school at Cambridge. Won't be easy, though. Daniel Peacock at ST, Dan Murwill at AMC, Ronnie Linsdale at ML, [b]Aaron Malton[/b at MC. Actually, Malton may still be our ideal MC, but overall... At least our backline is still our favored.

7 - Wells makes not one, but *two* goal-saving clearances in the early game. Damn I love my 6'8 guy.

11 - No stopping that one though. 0-1

16 - Jjunju gets the ball on the right flank and runs down the pitch before crossing to Linsdale, who calmly scores, even as Cambridge is screaming about offsides. 1-1

What an awful game Sturgess is having. If he doesn't pick it up in the second half, I'll pull him.

56 - A knock on Peacock

59 - Terrible, passive defending. 1-2 I'm so angry I pull Sturgess, Malton, and Peacock for Asllani, Hinds, and Priest, switching the last to the Advanced Forward role.

62 - Jjunju hits the corner and it doesn't look like anything will come of it, but then Wells lumbers through traffic and puts his big old hoof up to knock it in. 2-2

Frankly a match we should have won, so I get a bit stern with the lads about it. George Jones Eeyores on me over it, and Richard Priest is pissed. Whatever. Jake Wells gets a 7.8 and MoM.

Daniel Peacock is out 4-5 weeks, meaning yet more strikers out

Eddie Piper goes down for 2-3 months. Not a big issue. He's a #3 goalie at best anyway.

(10th) @ FC Clacton (2nd)
This picture says it all:


4 - Malton recovers a cleared corner and passes it to Smith who chips to Jjunju.... who kicks it right at the defender. What a waste.

16 - Speed goes on the attack, tearing up the right flank until the center to Priest, who, miracle of miracles, actually scores a goal! I'm stunned. 1-0

27 - Sheesh. Jjunju is lolly-gagging it out there. Allison has the perfect cross for a goal, but the Ugandan shows no effort to chase it and bang it home.

36 - Priest intercepts a goal kick and his shot clatters off the upper bar. He races to get it and sets up a great cross, but once again, Jjunju plays lazy.

I yell at Jjunju at the half, and he goes at me. Fuck you, dude. Get your head out your ass. Everybody else on this team is busting their butt this game to keep us in it, and you're playing like we're ahead 90-0.

55 - Campbell in for Allison

56 - I'm so fed up with Jjunju that I switch to a 5-4-1 with Asllani coming in as the third DC.

71 - FUCK YOU, YOU WHORE'S GET OF A REF! THAT WAS NOT A FUCKING PENALTY ON MY BOY JAKE WELLS! EAT A BAG OF FUCKING CHLAMYDIA INFESTED DICKS, YOU FUCKING FARTSNIFFER! 1-1

75 - OMFG!!!!! ANOTHER FUCKIGN PENALTY?!?! WHO THE FUCK YPAID YOU OFF, YOU FUCKING BIASED ASS PIECE OF SHIT ZEBRA?!?! 1-2

79 - Shit doesn't matter now. Fuck kt. 1-3

8 - So when *we* should get a penalty, does the fucking punkass bitch ref give it to us? Oh fuck no! They didn't bribe him to go against homecooking BULLSHIT!

"That was a superb second half from F.C. Clacton. You have to credit their manager for that." YOU MEAN HE FUCKING PAID OFF THE GOD DAMNED FUCKING REF WITH GUINESS AND SNAGGLE-TOOTHED ONE-LEGGED LINDA THE POX-RIDDEN FUCKING SKANK WHORE!

FA SILENT OVER JESTOR CRITICISM. YOU'RE GOD DAMNED RIGHT THEY'RE FUCKING SILENT! I HOPE FC CLACTON BURNS DOWN TO THE FUCKING GROUND FOR THAT CHEAP ASS BULLSHIT! tHEY COULDN'T BEAT US FAIR!

So very, very pissed right now. And my computer's lagging, so I'll come back later.

[Izulde]

Reserves
0-3 beatdown by Biggleswade Town. I set Richard Priest to NOT be available and he still played. Damned bug.

(12th) vs Woolbridge Town (15th)
Fortunately, Rob Clegg is able to play and gets the start at striker but we have no depth because of the stupid ass reserve team thing. Egzon Asllani steps in at DC in place of a tired Jake Wells.

5 - Speed is ironically too slow, and a diving tackle off a rebound puts us in the hole early. 0-1

10 - Yellow for Sturgess

20 - Malton passes into the six yard box to Clegg, who gives it to Jjunju. Our Ugandan striker sends it forward to Hinds, who immediately passes back and Jjunju rifles it through the narrowly open window for the score. 1-1

Lot of guys are playing poorly at the break, notably Higganbotham, Campbell, and Jones, but we'll give them a chance to pull their heads out of their asses.

70 - Allison and Shepherd drop in at ML and MC respectively for Campbell and Malton.

Pretty borderline game. We should've won this one with a little more effort.

(12th) @ Gorleston FC (13th)
This is a team we've never been able to beat. Morale's pretty low right now, so I'm not holding out hope here.

4 - Knock for Hinds. Shake it off, buddy.

27 - Now Wells is hurt? Seriously, fuck all these injuries.

44 - Ah, there's the goal given up just before half we all fucking love. 0-1

Frankly, we're lucky to only be down 1. I put the whole team on blast and pull Sturgess for Asllani.

68 - Campbell is robbed the post. Fuck you, post. Fuck you. I move him to MR, Jones to AMC, and put Allison at ML.

78 - Campbell gets it on the wing and centers it to Allison. The shot's deflected, but he's right there to pounce on his own rebound! 1-1

81 - Fabulous free kick clearance by Wells, and Campbell's left all alone as he races down the field... only to shank the fucking shot.

93 - Now Campbell goes down. That's 3 fucking injuries in one game, just like Ely City. I already hated Gorleston, but now they're on my fuck you up the ass with a six foot long jalapeno pepper list along with Ely City.

Another god damned draw. But we showed great fightback to equalize, and my boy Jake Wells is MoM with a 7.3.

Luckily we escape without further serious injuries.

26 games played, which means 12 left on the schedule. I don't see us getting into the Top 10 at this point, to be honest, even though we're 11th. Everyone around has us a game or more in hand on us.

7+ Average League Ratings Players (Min. 5 First Team Appearances)
GK JJ Banasco-Zargoza - 7.07
DC Jake Wells - 7.4
AMC Ben Kistell - 7.54
ST Michael Husbands - 7.6
ST Moses Jjunju - 7.27

No surprises here. These are the guys I know for sure I want to bring back next year so far. A few other players are borderline/will probably return, but it's pretty clear that we need a lot help in the midfield, and I'm kind of ehhh on our backline players other than Wells, who is the greatest thing ever to happen to a Level 9 team.

[Brian Swartz]

Originally Posted by Izulde

YOU MEAN HE FUCKING PAID OFF THE GOD DAMNED FUCKING REF WITH GUINESS AND SNAGGLE-TOOTHED ONE-LEGGED LINDA THE POX-RIDDEN FUCKING SKANK WHORE!

FA SILENT OVER JESTOR CRITICISM. YOU'RE GOD DAMNED RIGHT THEY'RE FUCKING SILENT! I HOPE FC CLACTON BURNS DOWN TO THE FUCKING GROUND FOR THAT CHEAP ASS BULLSHIT! tHEY COULDN'T BEAT US FAIR!

So very, very pissed right now. And my computer's lagging, so I'll come back later.

Gonna be tough to top this.

Oh, and as far as your team goes, at least you are competitive.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

Gonna be tough to top this.

Oh, and as far as your team goes, at least you are competitive.

I have literally never seen two PKs awarded back-to-back against a team like that before. I was so damned pissed. That third goal was an F it, we're not going to get the chance to at least get a point anyway, I think.

True we're competitive, and at least we're finding out the guys we want to try and keep the next few seasons while making adjustments elsewhere. But it's that damn close, but no go thing that frustrates, and this ain't horseshoes.

[Izulde]

Jason Frost and Michael Husbands finally start training again, but they're not ready for our next game.

(11th) vs Brantham Athletic (18th)
Chris Allison at ML and Sam Shepherd at MC, as we're still trying to figure out the ideal midfielder lineup. Several players ignore me in the pre-game team talk. Uh oh.

30 - Jones hits a rocket diagonal to Allison, who runs a bit before crossing to Clegg just in the six yard box, and the ensuing kick is just enough to get in and break the kid's scoreless streak. Oh, and Sturgess picked up yet another yellow earlier in the match. 1-0

Sam Shepherd and Moses Jjunju are having meh games at the half, but I'll leave them in for now. Otherwise, good game here.

51 - Very cool! I just saw Jake Wells raise his hand and call for the offsides, and we got the flag. That's a first. What's not cool - [b]Shepherd[/] getting worse and Jjunju lollygagging, so in come Malton and Priest

70 - Fantastic setup for Clegg, but he muffs it right at the keeper.

78 - Oh look, an injury to Priest. He'll play on, though.

Great defensive effort by our boys. JJ Banasco-Zargoza wins MoM with 7.4, but Jake Wells got the same rating. 7.1 for Fraser Sturgess and 7.3 for Robb Clegg.

Felixstowe & Waldstone have gone 12 straight games without a win, a new league record in futility.

Richard Husbands is left off the St. Lucia squad, but he's fine with that. Thus far, he has 5 caps to his credit for the national side.

Good Trains
Ben Kistell

Bad Trains
Sam Shepherd
Brett Girling

The board is pleased with me and we actually turn a $1.04k profit last month. We're still $676k in the red, but every little bit helps, especially if we can finally get this loan paid off... but I can't find the loan terms anywhere.

(9th) vs Haverhill Rovers (2nd)
Joy of joys, Michael Husbands and Ben Kistell are back for this one, and we're able to field a full-strength side for the first time in forever. Chris Allison and Atal Hinds are getting the ML and MC nods today.

12 - Kistell makes a beautiful interception and a sequence of passes has Jjunju running down the pitch. He goes to pass but it's blocked. The Ugandan has the follow-through to get it back and shoot it on out to Jones who runs to outside the six yard box and gives it right back. BAM! 1-0

27 ...That was a shot JJBZ should have stopped 1-1

28 - On the ensuing kickoff, Jjunju feeds it to Husbands, who runs forward to draw the defense, then back-kicks it to Kistell. Finding an open seam is Allison, who takes Kistell's pass and fires in the immediate answer. 2-1

33 - Terrible marking, just fucking terrible. 2-2

43 - Hinds is forced off with an injury. Malton replaces him.

I lecture Sturgess at the half, because he, Higginbotham and Speed are having awful games.

48 - Jjunju's robbed the woodwork.

51 - Perfectly executed move. Can't fault anyone there. 2-3

55 - Asllani is in for Speed, who is getting benched after this. He's been dreadful the last few games.

65 - Malton to Husbands, who breezes through the defense like it's nothing and kicks it between two defenders. Jjunju's dart forward and resulting shot just barely finds the net for the equalizer. 3-3

80 - Malton moves to DC in place of Sturgess, who gets worse and worse. Jones moves to MC and Campbell comes on at MR.

91 - 3-4

For fuck's sakes! A god damned injury time goal to rob us of any points.

Moses Jjunju has been offsides 28 times, more than anyone else in the league.

11th @ Dereham Town (14th)
We're going to try Jones at MC, Taylor Smith at MR, Jake Handbury at DR, and Luke Eaton at DC.

1 - Yellow for Higginbotham

16 - Fuck those jerseys are hard to see. We're wearing our black aways and they're wearing black and white ref stripes. No wonder they get it in. 0-1

Eaton has been an absolute disaster, so he's benched at the half for Asllani.

63 - Clegg pops on for Husbands, who looks lost in all the damned black.

8.0 from Jake Wells to be MoM. It's also the first time we've been shut out since September 25th. It's now February 9th, which means we had 21 straight games where we scored at least one goal.

[Izulde]

Atal Hinds is crying about first team opportunities despite the fact he's had 20 starts and 4 subs. Whatever.

Good Trains
Fraser Sturgess
Matty Campbell
Sam Shepherd

Bad Trains
Chris Allison

11th @ Godmanchester Rovers (20th)
Fraser Sturgess will get his spot back and Sam Shepherd gets another crack as the starting MC. Otherwise, same lineup as last time.

11 - Unbelievable. By the ratings we're dominating the last place team in the league, and yet here they score. 0-1

34 - FFS. 0-2

b]42[/b] - A clean, simple Kistell interception and pass to Husbands, the St. Lucian splitting the defense and the net.1-2

Our failures are a direct result of Jake Handbury's fuckwit 5.4, so he's benched again, this time in favor of Asllani, and Mr. Handbury will never see the pitch the rest of the year.

49 - We were damned lucky not to give up another goal there.

52 - Allison to Husbands to Kistell, and the last of the trio first touch strikes it for the tie. 2-2

56 - The pass by Jones is a little too long, but Allison chases it down and kicks it back and to the center, where Kistell's waiting to power it in for his second goal in four minutes! 3-2

74 - Malton swaps in for a tired Sturgess

We've several chances to add an insurance goal but they fizzle out. Nevermind, though - we get the win.

Put it this way - just about everyone got a 7 or better, with our 7.5+ guys being Chris Allison (7.5), Ben Kistell (9.3 and MoM), and Michael Husbands (8.1).

Ben Kistell says it was my halftime speech, where I firmly told them off, that turned things around. I also discover James Russell, who I cut from the squad earlier this season, is playing for Godmanchester now. He's doing better than he did with us - but 6.53 average rating in 13 appearances is still nothing great.

Kieran Roberts is mad about not being the starter anymore. Too bad for him. Richard Priest whines about a lack of playing time, too.

(11th) vs Kirkley & Pakefield (10th)
Pretty simple formula here. Win and we sneak up into 10th. Egzon Asllani gets the call at DR.

10 - How the hell they didn't manage to score in the traffic jam in front of goal I'll never know, but it's Jake Wells with the big clearance to save our bacon.

32 - Holy fluke! Higginbotham, who got a yellow in the 24th minute, rises an interception header on the goal kick that starts a move, but the freaky part comes when Allison passes forward and Shepherd's cannon kick finds its way into the net. We'll take it, though! 1-0



45 - This is why I love Jjunju. Even when I'm about to pull him for being complacent and dragging ass out there, he's godly on corner kicks, as here when he blasts it to Sturgess's head for the dagger doubling just before halftime. 2-0

Despite the lead however, we've been pretty well outplayed so far, so I warn them against complacency. Sturgess and Shepherd are confused, Asllani outright pissed. Everyone else looks good to go though, so suck it up you three.

58 - Shit. Kistell, our rock, has to come off. Jones shifts up and Matty Campbell comes in at MR.

70 - Terrible coverage by Asllani results in them scoring. He's immediately pulled for Callum Adams. 2-1

75 - Fuck! Wells is hurt, but he'll shake it off.

83 - I thought sure they were going to score here, but JJBZ makes a brilliant recovery from deflecting the last shot to also catch this one. Fantastic work!

All in all, a good one. Most around the 6.9-7.1 mark, save for Egzon Asllani's 6.0 after giving up the crucial goal, and Fraser Sturgess, who blows away the rest of the field with a MoM-winning 7.9.

Jake Wells is out a week and a half. Not as serious as it could be, but still I'm . I've never loved a defensive player as much as him.

Youth Intake
Everyone has 5* potential for this level, unsurprisingly, so we're going to sign them all to contracts and sort it out.

(10th) @ Hadleigh United (6th)
With Jake Wells out, it's going to be Aaron Malton who gets the call at DC. Recent youth signing DCR Luke Rutherford gets promoted and will get the start at DR.

0 - Welp. 0-1

5 - Missing Wells is killing us out there. 0-2

Matty Campbell takes over at ML for Allison, Malton moves up to MC and Asllanislides into DC, because both our ML and our MC (Shepherd) are playing like rotten ass out there.

We can't get anything going offensively in the second half, but I blame that on the first half fuckups. Not going to blame anyone other than those two for this loss, as everyone else played solid.

[Izulde]

(10th) @ Mildenhall Town (11th)
Jake Wells is back in, but otherwise same lineup, as Luke Rutherford did well enough in his first game to get another start.

5 - Gonna be a long day, I fear. 0-1

17 - Jjunju's forced off, so Rob Clegg is on.

25 - Clegg heads a sideways cleared free kick and Kistell's on the receiving end to knock it in. 1-1

49 - Yellow for Sturgess and Wells got a yellow earlier in the match. This means Sturgess will miss our next match.

61 - Jones passes to the feet of Clegg, who has a gorgeous drop-ball pass to Husbands. Short-run later, and hello lead! Malton's on for Shepherd 2-1

79 - When the counter works, it works oh so lurvely! Kistell takes the pass from Rutherford and plays perfect pop shot to Husbands who obliterates the rest of the field and hits the long shot outside the box. In it goes! 3-1

91 - Sensational clearance off the line by Allison. That really should've been a goal.

7s to go all around, but 7.5+ props go to Jake Wells (7.7), Ben Kistell (8.6), Michael Husbands (8.8, MoM), and Rob Clegg (8.2).

Big, big, *big* win to keep us in the Top 10, obviously.

Fraser Sturgess got a *2* match ban. May have to rethink bringing him back TBH. He's inconsistent and racks up yellows like drunk dudes on the Strip rack up stripper cards.

Good Trains
Kieran Roberts
Callum Adams

Bad Trains
Moses Jjunju
Michael Higginbotham
Brett Girling

Board's pleased. We lost $1.77k last month, still due to loan payments.

(10th) vs Norwich United (1st)
Not much chance of beating the team that's tearing up the league this season and needs just one win to guarantee promotion I think, but we'll see. Aaron Malton is in at DC, and Merrick Cornwell, who has an awesome name and is just 15 as part of our youth pulls, is getting the start, as I think he's ready now.

23 - Wells has a dazzling interception and turn-around kick to Jones, who crosses perfectly to Kistell.... who makes a rare, shocking flub of an open shot.

31 - Held on as long as we could. Malton, you suck. 0-1

45 - Their goalie rushes out to beat Husbands to a ball, which he does, but instead of hanging on to it, he kicks it. Kistell latches on 35 yards out and hits the longball for the just before half tie! 1-1

59 - Jesus, Jones! First, Jjunju sets you up perfectly earlier in the half and you shank it, and now you blow another easy miss that Malton of all people rocketed to you. Off he goes for... well, no one, because I forgot to take Campbell out of the subs list.

68 - I will, however, replace Rutherford with Asllani.

78 - Going to give Campbell a run anyway. Allison's making a lot of poor passes and is tired as hell.

80 - Jones retrieves a cleared ball and passes it to Cornwell, who cracks a dangerous shot that looks like it's going in, but it rattles up and down the crossbar. It has the effect of completely crumpling the opposing goalie, though, and Jjunju races for the slide-tackle goal... which he gets!!! 2-1



88 - Knocked out for the second straight game is Jjunju, meaning Clegg gets called again.

Despite some scary moments, WE PULL OFF THE HUGE UPSET!!!

7.5 for Ben Kistell, who ignores me when I congratulate him on his second half improvement. 7.4 each for Jake Wells and JJ Banasco-Zargoza.

Moses Jjunju is out for the rest of the season, which will be a good test of how we can fare without him.

Tristian Jarvis asks to be let go, so I comply with his wishes.

10th @ Wivenhoe Town (7th)
Luke Eaton gets another shot at DC, and Rob Clegg starts at ST.

39 - They've been pressuring us a ton, and that 4-5-1 is so dominant we haven't gotten any looks. But then Higginbotham boots one down the length of the field to Kistell, who crosses for a racing Clegg. only to see the pass itself end up in goal! 1-0

We're doing quite well overall, but Clegg is benched at the half for Daniel Peacock.

45 - Aaaaaand that was a goal JJBZ should have stopped with ease 1-1

54 - Jones switches over to the left side, and Taylor Smith comes on, replacing Allison, who has been off all game.

79 - A midfield heading competition between the two teams ultimately gets won by Kistell, who passes to Peacock. An amazing rainbow shot to Husbands follows, and our St. Lucian star flows like water through the defense until brooking it in! 2-1

81 - Eaton with a strong clearance kick to Husbands, who passes to Peacock, who sends it right back.. and another gallop and super shot for a quickfire double!! 3-1

Great, great last two games. Jake Wells with a 7.9, Ben Kistell a 7.7, Michael Husbands an 8.8 and MoM, and 7.5 for Daniel Peacock.

3 games left. Norwich United needs just one point to clinch promotion. We're tied for 7th with two other teams with 51 points, but #10 has 50 points and #11 has 45, so the only thing we've mathematically clinched is finishing no worse than 15th - still a far sight better than the preseason prediction of 19th, or second to last.

[bbgunn]

You know things are going well when the f-bombs decrease. Good work.

[Young Drachma]

Damn, level 9. I need to get caught up on this..

[Izulde]

Hadleigh United wins the Eastern Counties Senior Cup.

Reserves
3-0 win against a U18 team, but that also featured a lot of players who have started regularly for us this season, to get them match fit. It's a dangerous move, but one that pans out when our next match is postponed due to poor field conditions.

Jason McAree is pissed about his lack of PT, so he's released following our conversation.

(10th) vs Felixstowe & Waldstone (18th)
Fraser Sturgess is back in the lineup, but otherwise we keep on rolling with what we did the last two games.

5 - Clegg punts it up in the area of Husbands, but the defender gets there first. Poor clearance, however, so the St. Lucian international is able to sneak in, steal the ball back, and fire a diagonal that finds the net. 1-0

17 - Kistell's knocked, but will keep going.

28 - Long build-up that culminates in Jones and Clegg exchanging passes, with Jones then slipping it to Husbands just inside the six yard box. Another bombtastic boot and that's two goals for our lone international capped player. 2-0

31 - Wells intercepts and kicks the ball to Kistell, who heads it on to Clegg. Husbands takes the pass and strides forward, but Clegg is already racing ahead of him and receives the stellar ball, and completely free of all defenders, sinks it! 3-0

36 - Kistell to Jones to Husbands... and the goalie *just* manages to deflect what looked like a surefire first half hattrick.

42 - Bastards! They force Husbands off with an injury. Peacock takes the AF position, with Clegg sliding to poacher.

47 - WTF?!?! JJBZ DROPS THE DAMN BALL AND IT FALLS BEHIND HIM INTO THE NET?! 3-1

With that, everything changes. Jones moves to AMC, Smith comes on MR, and we're dropping from Attacking to Defensive.

71 - Not good. Not good at all. 3-2

77 - Cornwell has been a horrorshow since the second half started (5.2), so he's yanked for Shepherd.

86 - Smith is hurt.

We do just enough to get the win. 7.5 for Jake Wells, 8.6 for Michael Husbands, and 7.4 for Rob Clegg. Besides Merrick Cornwell's disaster, Michael Higginbotham put up a 5.8, and so did Daniel Peacock.

Norwich United has essentially clinched promotion thanks to a +12 advantage in goal differential over the 2nd place team even if Norwich loses both and second place team wins both to tie on points. As for us, we're now guaranteed to finish no worse than 11th. We could even finish as high as 5th.

But we'll have to do it without Ben Kistell, who's also gone for the season. That hurts. That really, really hurts, as he's been the director, the lynchpin of our offense.

Michael Husbands is praised by the press on the same day that Norwich United officially wins the title and auto-promotion to one of the Regional 1st Divisions.

(6th) @ Diss Town (17th)
George Jones moves to AMC, with Taylor Smith stepping in at MR. Despite poor performances from some of our youngsters last game, the lineup is otherwise unchanged. Until I realize we don't have a viable captain candidate out there. So Egzon Asllani is pressed into DR and named captain.

30 - 20 yard scorcher, but honestly, we've been sleepwalking this whole game, so I'm not surprised. 0-1

39 - Husbands picked up a slight injury early in the game, and now Smith gets knocked here. Very frustrating to have all these late-season injuries.

Jason Frost goes in for Clegg and Matty Campbell for Allison at the break. The team feels like it's already thinking about vacation.

50 - We just continue to get hammered and look lost on offense. Our shots have been pitiful.

65 - And there goes the double. 0-2

Wow, we played like total ass this game. JJ Banasco-Zargoza did as well as could be expected given how bad the rest of the team was, and got a 7.1.

Egzon Asllani rats out the screaming match to the press. Okay, dude. Taylor Smith will probably miss our last game of the season.

Kirkley & Pakefield pull off a massive upset, stunning Norwich United 4-1 in the Chell Trophy final. Considering K&P is 15th in the league right now, it's a shocker.

Good Trains
Nathan Speed
Michael Higginbotham
Richard Tippings

Bad Trains
Brett Girling
Sam Shepherd

8th vs Stanway Rovers (19th)
Okay, so here's what we know. No matter what happens today, we can not finish any worse than 10th, so we're guaranteed a Top 10 finish. We also know that 5th place is still in reach, but that would require a little help. Luke Rutherford starts at DR, Matty Campbell at MR, Aaron Malton at MC, and Nathan Speed at DL. Speed is given the captaincy for the final game.

34 - The flat play continues. 0-1

41 - Speed has been struggling out there, but here he shoots a laser at Husbands' head. Our St. Lucian traps and controls it, then runs the rest of the way to arc a zany shot in that I thought had no chance of making it. 1-1

Michael Higginbotham is on at the break, because Speed, despite that great move, has been terrible.

51 - Le ugh. 1-2

65 - I bring in Cornwell to play DM and Shepherd in at MC, dropping Sturgess and Malton.

71 - Campbell shows great awareness to chase down a cleared ball and goes to cross it... only to see it end up in the net. Freaky. 2-2

80 - Allison hits a longball to Clegg, who then does the same to Husbands. Our international star runs down the length of the left flank and then crosses to where Clegg has made the run to be there and head it in, which he does! 3-2

91 - Husbands is forced off with injury, which means we have to play the final few minutes a man down.

Fortunately we pull it out, and escape with a 3-2 comeback win. 8.0 and MoM for Michael Husbands and 7.6 for Rob Clegg.

Good thing it's the end of the season because Michael Husbands is out 5 to 6 months with a torn calf muscle.



6th is a damn good finish in my opinion. As you can see from the lower-right corner, Ben Kistell and Michael Husbands were the consistent glue that carried us throughout the season, especially Kistell.

Other Notables
Michael Husbands - T-2nd in Assists (11), T-6th in Goals (14), T-9th in Man of Match (4), 2nd in Pass Completion % (80), 1st in Shots on Target %(64 - next closest was 51%!), 6th in Offsides (21), 3rd in Average Rating (7.51)
Moses Jjunju - T-4th in Assists (10), T-9th in Goals (13), 1st in Offsides (33)
Jake Wells T-3rd in Man of Match (6), 1st in Key Tackles (18), 3rd in Key Headers (86), 6th in Average Rating (7.37)
Fraser Sturgess - 2nd in Yellow Cards (8)
Matty Campbell T-6th in Yellow Cards (5)
Ben Kistell - 6th in Shots on Target % (45), 1st in Key Passes (35), 1st in Average Rating (7.56)
Rob Clegg - 7th in Pass Completion % (79)

6.8 or Better Ratings
Ben Kistell
Michael Husbands
Jake Wells
Moses Jjunju - 7.2
JJ Banasco-Zargoza - 7.02
George Jones - 6.92
Fraser Sturgess - 6.92
Robb Clegg - 6.88
Daniel Peacock - 6.81
Jason Frost - 6.81

So that's... AMC, ST, DC, ST, GK, MR, DC, ST, ST, ST. I think it's safe to say we won't be needing any strikers for next year, provided we bring all those guys back.

Areas of Starting Need
DL
DR
ML
MC
MR

Areas of Depth Need
DL/DC/DR
ML/MC/MR
AMC

End Season Review
Board is pleased and love our finish in the league. Ben Kistell and Jake Wells are highly favored signings.

Year End Training
Matty Campbell, Jake Wells, and Fraser Sturgess all impressed over the year. Moses Jjunju and Brett Girling regressed.

Winning the Chell Trophy wasn't enough to save Dave Langston, who was fired by Kirkley & Pakefield following the team's 14th place finish in the league. That's kind of harsh in my opinion.

Scarborough Athletic wins the FA Vase.

$2.1k lost last month due to loan repayment.

Total Loss For the Year
$16k, which means we're $684k in the red. $75k of that was in loan repayments.

Transfers In
DLCR Niall Elam (16) - 5*/5* for DL, his natural position
MRC Kwasi Frempong (33) - 4*/4* for both

Elam is all guaranteed to get a crack at the starting lineup. Frempong probably will too, despite his age.

The club is in a takeover bid

Jack Jeffries agrees to sign with us again after we cut off other challengers. Nathan Speed signs with Hertford Town.

Didcot Town snares Atal Hinds and Jack Jeffries stabs us in the back by signing an amateur contract with Walsham-le-Willows anyway.

Aaron Malton goes off to Berkhamsted.

Croatia joins the European Union.

Jake Handbury goes off to Wisbech Town, and the bleeding continues.

Aston Jephcott joins the revolters, signing with Croydon FC

We're officially joining the Reserves and U18 leagues next year, after not having played in either one last season.

I'm very pleased to see Jake Wells win Fans' Player of the Year award for our team.

2012-13 Best 11
GK JJ Banasco-Zargoza
DL Michael Higginbotham
DC Fraser Sturgess
DC Jake Wells
DR Nathan Speed*
ML Chris Allison
MC Aaron Malton*
MR George Jones
AMC Ben Kistell
ST Moses Jjunju
ST Michael Husbands

* - Denotes no longer with team

Transfer In
MLR Symon James (30)

Scrubby now that I see him, but strictly a depth signing.

Craig Gordon is ready to buy the team for $26k, far below its initial $60k value (will check that at beginning of season or before first friendly). Unfortunately that means we can't bring anyone else in for the time being.

Why Brett Girling hasn't retired I don't know, but Maine Road takes him on.

There's teams sniffing around Jake Wells, so we quickly rush to sign him to a Key Player amateur contract to get him to stay.



Soooo... you're going to take a loan to pay off the old loan? Brilliant! This does have the side effect of putting us in the black for the first time in my career here.

ROFL. We sign a new sponsorship deal estimated to be worth $0 over 3 years. WTF sign it then?

Monthly loan repayments are set at $2.5k a month - a far more generous deal than the previous loan.

Board's satisfied. They're pissed about Nathan Speed leaving, but happy to see Brett Girling go.

Fraser Sturgess gets paid $13k for next season by Guernsey so of course he leaves. He's also the first former Thetford Town player of my tenure to get a money deal elsewhere.

Transfer In
DLC Dean Allison (17) - Hot prospect

Staff is meh on his current ability, but I think he can compete right away for a starting DC spot. Michael Husbands is still injured heading into preseason by the way.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by bbgunn

You know things are going well when the f-bombs decrease. Good work.

Thanks. I can't promise they won't increase at some point, though.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Young Drachma

Damn, level 9. I need to get caught up on this..

FM 2014 has an 11 level mod floating out there, so if it goes on a big Steam discount, I'll pick up 14 in case I ever get bored of this one.

[Young Drachma]

Originally Posted by Izulde

FM 2014 has an 11 level mod floating out there, so if it goes on a big Steam discount, I'll pick up 14 in case I ever get bored of this one.

Yeah I almost bought 14 during the sale, but I almost always buy it at the end of the cycle. Gonna just wait until 15 comes out and see if there are major improvements. Buying each year felt too much like Madden where the game wasn't any good and it was a waste of time.

[Young Drachma]

I love those low level stories, I just never know where one would even begin on some level. I've read the LLM forums, but it's a real exercise in love of club. Excited to see your progress up the table.

[Izulde]

Kieran Roberts gets hurt in training and is out 4-5 weeks. Not a huge deal - he was just our backup anyway.

Friendly (vs Elon Manor
GK JJ Banasco-Zaragoza (21)
DL Niall Elam (16)*
DC Jake Wells (17)
DC Dean Allison (17)*
DR Luke Rutherford (16)
ML Chris Allison (17)
MC Kwasi Frempong (31)*
MR George Jones (20)
AMC Ben Kistell (30)
ST Jason Frost (17)
ST Moses Jjunju (30)

* - New starter

Very young lineup, obviously. We'll see how it goes. To be honest, despite all the good showings from our strikers last year, I'm still not wholly satisfied with anyone beyond Michael Husbands, who's still out another 1-2 months.

8 - Wretched effort at clearance by Rutherford there. 0-1

21 - Frempong's dinged.

What an awful first half. George Jones moves to AMC, Symon James in at MR. Rob Clegg replaces Jjunju at striker.

60 - Free kick inside the half-circle for Chris Allison, and he converts. Campbell replaces him immediately after, and Cornwell pops in at MC for Frempong. 1-1

63 - Frost sees his shot blocked, but takes the rebound and passes it to a wide open Clegg, who calmly shoots in the go-ahead goal. 2-1

74 - Eaton in for D Allison, and Callum Adams takes over for Rutherford.

91 - Awful, just awful. 2-2

Still, this was more about feeling out the team than anything else. Great showing by Jason Frost with an 8.0 and MoM award.

Promotion Odds
Last year, we were 25-1. This year, we're 33-1. Talk about disrespect all around.

Friendly - @ Stanway Rovers
It's a B-list lineup we field definitely. Not going to go into all the changes because I'm lazy and it's only a friendly.

2 - These guys aren't doing anything to impress me. Really should've given up a goal there.

41 - Injury to Clegg, and it's Peacock on.

Yeah. Real rough out there. A bunch of subs forthcoming.

55 - Precision strike 0-1

72 - I actually see the ball hit Kistell and he crumples, calling for a substitute. So I'm forced to put in Jones.

Pretty dull loss, even if Luke Eaton did get a 7.6 and MoM.

Rob Clegg is out 6 to 8 days.

Transfer in
MC Chris Hirst (23) - Stolen from Dereham Town, where he put up a 6.98 average rating last season.

Obvious candidate to take over MC and *finally* give us the stability we've lacked there.

Eddie Piper is out 5-6 weeks, but he's way down on the depth chart, so no biggie.

Friendly - vs Burnham Ramblers
Another mix and match lineup.

2 - Worst clearance I've ever seen by Wells 0-1

8 - Frempong gets it on the wing, dribbles, and centers to Jjunju, who beats the defense with his head. The keeper just barely manages to get his fingers on it and send it up in the air, but our Ugandan strides forward to knock the rebound in 1-1

11 - Wells takes a knock, but will play on.

45 - Yay for just before half goal against us. 1-2

I'm going to try Michael Higginbotham at DR. Rutherford just can't seem to make the DR job his own.

57 - A couple more subs.

64 - Frempong goes down.

65 - Terrible goal kick by JJBZ = goal 1-3

Kwasi Frempong is out 3 weeks.

Bad Trains
Ben Kistell
Symon James

We lost $2.7k last month despite the much lower loan payments.

Friendly - @ AFC Kempston Rovers
Thoroughly expecting us to get crushed in this one.

What follows instead is a very boring game that we probably could have won, but our strikers were absolutely punchless. Luke Eaton got a 7.6 and MoM, making a strong case to be Wells' partner, but we'll see.

Captains
Ben Kistell is named Captain, Chris Hirst vice-captain.

vs Wisbech Town
GK JJ Banasco-Zaragoza (21)
DL Dean Allison (17)*
DC Jake Wells (17)
DC Luke Eaton (19)
DR Niall Elam (16)*
ML Chris Allison (17)
MC Chris Hirst (23)*
MR Matty Campbell (16)
AMC George Jones (20)
ST Ben Kistell (30)
ST Moses Jjunju (30)

Am I trying a completely unorthodox setup? Yes. Wisbech Town is one of the favorites, so I thought it might be fun to spring a surprise on them here in the opener.

3 - 35 yard strikes suck. 0-1

5 - Fuck you, asshumper ref! Fucking giving Jake Wells a yellow and fuckign giving the god damn fuckrats a fucking PK they convert?! WE'RE AT HOME, YOU FUCKING CARPETRAG KNOBTWIST!!!!! 0-2

David Allison is giving me the don't care look at half when I scream at everybody, so Elam moves to DL and Luke Rutherford goes in at DR. Fuck all of you, seriously.

73 - I brought in Clegg to replace Kistell earlier and here Jones heads it to him, and despite losing out initially, our overacheiving young striker runs and runs, gets the ball back, and fires on in to cut the lead in half. 1-2

89 - And there's the makeup penalty! For some reason Chris Allison is given the kicking rights, but he converts it so it's okay 2-2

The announcers rave about how much we improved in the second half, incontrovertible proof that yelling does work sometimes.

It's that type of game that Rob Clegg's 7.3 is good enough for MoM, which means I shouldn't ignore Jake Wells with 7.2 or JJ Banasco-Zargoza with 7.1.

Value - $190k ($825k loan debt) (+130k)
Stadium - 975 capacity 0 seated
Stadium Condition: Very Poor (Down from Poor)
Field Condition: Okay (Up from Poor)
Basic corporate
Basic training
Minimal youth facilities
Minimal junior coaching
Limited youth recruitment
0 youth setup
Status: Amateur
Finances: Insecure
Average Ticket Price: $6
Season Ticket Price: $62 (-16)
Season Ticket Holders: 25
Season Prediction: 10th (+9)

Despite slashing season ticket prices, we still have the same 25 season ticket holders as last year.

Kieran Roberts is back in training.

Sam Shepherd signs with Waltham Forest after being a major disappointment last season.

(7th) @ FC Clacton (2nd)
Rob Clegg becomes a starting striker, moving Ben Kistell back to AMC, which moves George Jones to MR. Michael Higginbotham will get the nod at DR.

39 - That should have been the easiest goal ever for them, but somehow JJBZ *just* pushes it away, and Wells destroys it clearance-style.

Merrick Cornwell comes in for Hirst at MC at the break. Not sure what our vice-captain's problem is, but he's been dreadful to start his career with us.

64 - Priest gets the call to go in for Clegg. Their backline has just been absolutely stalwart against us.

71 - Cornwell holds up the ball and kicks it back to Higginbotham, who jacks a long, diagonal strike that sees a Clactcon defender jump for the ball and miss it. Jjunju receives it and hits the ball on the bounce. After so many blocked and poor shots by the Ugandan, this one *finally* goes in. 1-0

79 - Kistell tries to pass it twice and gets blocked each time. Finally, Cornwell says fuck it, gets the ball and launches it to a completely open Priest himself, and the dude who's been nagging for PT delivers with a sweet song home and a doubled lead! We're going defensive to try and keep the 3 points. 2-0

87 - Total collapse in the middle by Eaton and Wells, and they have space to get back in now. 1-2

Despite the late snafu, Jake Wells still gets a 7.6 and MoM, with Moses Jjunju and Richard Priest picking up matching 7.3s to go with their goals.

Have we established ourselves as a threat?

Our U18 team draws 1-1. Great game by DCR Kris Turnrow, who might get a look at some point this year.

Kieran Roberts joins Jake Handbury in defections to Wisbech Town. Whatevs.

Chell Trophy - 1st Round - vs Ipswich Wanders
Niall Elam gets a shot at redemption at DL, Luke Rutherford at DC, Matty Campbell at ML, Symon James at MR, and Richard Priest at ST. I'm not terribly concerned about winning this one. It's the league I'm most focused on.

22 - Jjunju to Kistell, and then comes the bounce pass to Priest, who gets a lucky bounce off the goalie on his shot and it goes in. Nice to get the lead, but we're supposed to be destroying this team. 1-0

We're playing solid ball, but we need more AMC coverage desperately. I've put out offers, but haven't landed anyone.

75 - Pardon the pun, but Priest is turning me into a believer. He takes a ray from Higginbotham and strikes. Keeper deflects, but Priest stays right with it and curls the ball around the defenders to put it in! 2-0

82 - Cornwell's on for Hirst, who's done well, but is looking dogged out there.

Two late yellows to our side put a slight mar on things, but it's still a comfortable win. Michael Higginbotham nets a 7.8 and Richard Priest the obvious MoM with 8.8. Higginbotham appears to have taken control of the DR, just as he made the DL his own, so he's a valuable player to have.

(5th) vs Cambridge Regional College (7th)
Rob Clegg and Daniel Peacock are starting at ST, George Jones at AMC. Chris Allison/Merrick Cornwell/Kwasi Frempong form the midfield and Dean Allison/Jake Wells/Egzon Asllani/Michael Higginbotham the backline. In short, a very oddball lineup.

3 - This is what I hate about Peacock. He misses easy shots.

Nobody's doing awfully, but no one's wowing either. Jjunju's day off ends at the break when he goes in for Peacock. I need somebody with punch and authority there.

46 - Great pass by Frempong to Clegg, but a sliding tackle dispossesses. Fortunately for us Jones is right there to kick it in anyway. 1-0

50 - Clegg tries to steal the ball and fails, but Chris Allison succeeds his stealing roll and passes to Jones, who takes two steps into the six yard box, and fires it for the 4 minute special double. 2-0

73 - Against my better judgment, I give Elam a chance at DR to replace the tired Higginbotham

89 - Frempong slides it up to Jones who passes it to Jjunju and this beauty follows: Jjunju robs Jjunju. Man, that's harsh when you steal from yourself! He actually collides with the defender and injures him en route to a pass to Clegg, who calmly puts it in! 3-0

A truckload of 7+, but I'll give special mention to George Jones (9.4! and MoM) and Rob Clegg (7.7) as the duo to break the 7.5+ barrier. A hell of a game for all involved, though.

Sweeter news still. Despite all the teams chasing after him, Ben Kistell re-affirmed his commitment to us. We're also 4th in the league. Haverhill Rovers and Dereham Town have both started with 3 straight victories.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Young Drachma

I love those low level stories, I just never know where one would even begin on some level. I've read the LLM forums, but it's a real exercise in love of club. Excited to see your progress up the table.

Thanks. Like I think somebody said in Greyfriars' Level 9 dynasty, at this level, it really is all about the physical attributes moreso than the technical. Consider Jake Wells:



Literally the only technical thing he does well is Tackle. But he's 6'8 and got insane Determination and Jumping, which has allowed him to become absolutely dominant at this level.

And yet, my coaching staff rates him at 4 silver stars, so if I listened to them, he wouldn't be starting, and I have a pretty good staff at Judging Player Potential and Ability.

Reserves vs 18s
The Reserves skunk the U18s 4-1 and AMC Dan Murwill, who I forgot I had, has a standout game.

(4th) vs Haverhill Rovers (1st)
Obviously the hugest game ever of my career. Here's what I *think* is going to be my ideal lineup until Michael Husbands gets back from injury:



But we'll see.

20 - So many fucking good opportunities we've had, and then they fucking score first. That one's all on JJBZ. 0-1

30 - WTF?!?! 0-2

Reaming the fuck out time. Eaton and Jjunju don't respond, so I pull them for Asllani and Clegg. Fuck.this.shit.

57 - HOW THE FUCK?!?! THE OPPOSING GOALIE WAS OFF IN FUCKING LALA LAND AND YOU CAN'T FUCKING CONVERT THAT SHIT, FROGPOND OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS?!

71 - Chris Allison boots the corner and Wells drops it in. Can we fight back? 1-2

Unbelievable. Such a pathetic, pathetic performance. Jake Wells was balla with 8.1, but way too many guys shit in the bed in this fucking critical ass game.

Good Trains
Jake Wells
Kwasi Frempong

Bad Trains
Michael Husbands (yes, he's back now!)
Ben Kistell

The board is satisfied and we make a profit of $1.58k last month.

Chell Trophy - 1st Round - 2nd Leg - @ Ipswich Wanderers (2-0 lead)
We put out as cheap a lineup as we can, with only Ben Kistell at AMC as the standard starter. That includes Matthew Malek in goal after JJ Banasco-Zaragoza's shitfuck performance last game.

11 - As you might expect, our offense has done jack. Oh, and our defense has been bleh, too, as they should have allowed a goal here.

12 - Haha! Offsides nullifies goal!

18 - No denying that one 0-1

25 - Should've given up another goal there. "Thetford Town look unable to cope with Ipswich Wanderers at the moment". No.fucking.shit. And these are some of the derps you fuckstick staff want me to start? Jump in a fucking spike-infested lake.

LOL! "We're playing well, we should encourage our players to kick on in the second half?" EXCUSE ME, ASSMAN? ARE YOU FUCKING *DRUNK*?!?! I firmly tell them off, but fuck subs. We've got a league match in 3 days.

72 - Smith steals the ball, runs down the right and then turns in to race towards the center. That gives him the line of sight to send the ball up to the middle and Clegg wins the header. Game.set.advance. 1-1

91 - O-o-o-offsides!

We still played like garbage overall, but picked up in the second half that I can say yeah yeah good win. Rob Clegg is MoM in this louser with a 7.5 Callum Adams goes from 5.9 to 7.2, so yay on him. I have the feels for Ipswich Wanderers, though. They totally outplayed us and deserved to advance.

(6th) @ Welsham-le-Willows (16th)
Our savior, Michael Husbands is back and in the lineup. Moses Jjunju will be his partner up front. George Jones takes the AMC spot, which means Kwasi Frempong at MR and Merrick Cornwell at MC. All is the v.v. tentative ideal lineup.

The Willows, you will recall, are the guys who stole our top youth pull, Jack Jeffries in the offseason. Currently they have as their DR back.

5 - We're playing tight and they should have scored here.

16 - So Jjunju steals the ball on the goalie pass and has ample time and space... and he black holes it.

Both sides have fucking awful finishing this first half. Chris Allison is having the worst half of his career, so he sits for Matty Campbell.

77 - Priest on for Husbands to try and break this stalemate.

79 - FUCKING PUNKASS CUMSLUT FLUKEASS BITCHHO FUCKING GOALS! 0-1

Fuck Michael Higginbotham's 7.3 and MoM award. We can't contend for the title if we keep dropping guys in shit fashion like this.

Luke Eaton then stabs us in the fucking back and signs for Walsham-le-Willows immediately after the game. YOU GOD DAMNED FUCKING TRAITOR!!!!

(7th) @ Diss Town (4th)
Niall Elam goes back in the lineup at DL and Dean Allison to DC after the fucking traitor left. Otherwise, ideal-ish lineup. Emphasis on the ish.

44 - Now that was pretty! Frempong intercepts and kicks a beautiful rainbow for Husbands, who keeps on running until he's on the far post in the left hand side of the box. I think he's going to wrapround shot, but instead, he diagonal kicks it in a crossing pattern to the swooping Jones, and the keeper is caught flat-footed. 1-0

No question that was a great first half display, but we're only up by 1.

50 - Jjunju wins the ball on a goal kick and goes back and forth with Jones, who runs until he's just at the touchline, just about to give them a goal kick when he suddenly crosses the ball, where Kistell cuts through the middle of the box and slots it in. 2-0

56 - So the Diss Town keeper keeps passing back and forth with his defenders and getting further and further and further out. You know what happens next. He kicks the ball, Jones intercepts and boots it, and just like that, we're in comfortable position. 3-0

60 - I have no idea how it happened, but somehow Elam threw the ball in to Husbands, who swung it around to the middle of the goal, and Jones beat the keeper for the hat-trick goal. 4-0

72 - Empty out the reserves. Priest and Frost in at striker, Asllani subbing for Dean Allison at DC.

87 - Frost races past everyone and then plays a perfect ball forward to Kistell, who lays it in like warm, melted chocolate. Awww yeah. 5-0

I'll just leave this here and say this is the best game of my tenure here:



In fact, let's just sit and watch all five of these beautiful goals, shall we?



That pulls us back up to 5th but Kirkley & Pakefield hasn't lost a game yet, and have 16 points with a +13 GD in six games. Guess they were right to fire their manager after last year.

FA Vase Qualifying Round - @ Bowers & Pitsea
There's a week in between this and the next league match, so we're able to keep the same lineup rolling.

8 - Aaaaaaand JJBZ rushes out. 0-1

Jones to MC, Campbell at MR, and Asllani in for Dean Allison at DC. We're playing like crap.

71 - Wells is having the worst game of his life 0-2

87 - Fucking pathetic. 0-3

We played awful and I tear the team a collective new asshole.

Next day JJ Banasco-Zargoza signs with Chalfont St. Peter. Fuck you, asshole.

(5th) vs Hadleigh United (12th)
So Matthew Malek is our new keeper by default because we're having a hard time finding those, too.

1 - I throw a water bottle as Husbands gets a knock. Don't you fucking dare.

4 - How the hell they didn't score there, I have *no* idea.

Jones to AMC, Frempong to MR and Chris Hirst slides in at MC at the break. Our offense just is not clicking at all.

70 - Priest on for Husbands

77 - Wide open goal for Hirst, and he blows it.

Played well enough to win, but didn't. Sound familiar?

[Brian Swartz]

Originally Posted by Izulde

HOW THE FUCK?!?! THE OPPOSING GOALIE WAS OFF IN FUCKING LALA LAND AND YOU CAN'T FUCKING CONVERT THAT SHIT, FROGPOND OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS?!

Calling it, Frogpond is now my favorite player on your team. I'm rooting for him to end the year with something like 6 goals and 14 assists.

[Brian Swartz]

Originally Posted by Izulde

In fact, let's just sit and watch all five of these beautiful goals, shall we?

You really are a bunch of nancy boys to prance around in kits like that .... I mean, great game, keep it going!!

Originally Posted by Izulde

5 - Fuck you, asshumper ref! Fucking giving Jake Wells a yellow and fuckign giving the god damn fuckrats a fucking PK they convert?! WE'RE AT HOME, YOU FUCKING CARPETRAG KNOBTWIST!!!!! 0-2

I have no idea what that last sentence means, but snickered. And I'm assuming it wasn't a moment of sheer ecstasy.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

Calling it, Frogpond is now my favorite player on your team. I'm rooting for him to end the year with something like 6 goals and 14 assists.

He does have 1 assist in 5 starts so far.

And I *like* our purple and blue uniforms. Charlotte Hornets style, even. Okay so it's more cornflower blue than teal, but still. Which reminds me of the time I was wearing a talcum powder blue hoodie, and one of my fraternity brothers who was drunk as hell said, "What the fuck, Izulde? Why the fuck are you wearing powder blue?!" And I'm like "Because I'm fucking awesome, that's why."

Bad Trains
Michael Husbands

Board's pleased, though we lost $2.23k last month.

5th @ Ely City (7th)
...Yeah. These assholes who injured 3 of my guys in one game last time we played them. I decide to give Richard Priest the start at striker, because Moses Jjunju has really struggled in the early season.

Frustrating first half in which we play strong defense, but our finishing's a joke. Jjunju and Hirst step up at ST and MC at intermission, with Frempong moving to MR.

51 - 0-1

71 - And of course the refs fuck us over because we're the away team. No fucking way was Dean Allison offside.

Truthfully, we once again played like ass.

Our U18s lose 2-1. I don't care.

The FA warns me after I bitch about the offside goal. Fuck you, FA. I'm usually right when I complain about the BS.

Transfer In
ST/AMC Ronnie Green (31)

He's got great Pace (13) and is absolutely baller at Free Kicks (16), so we're going to give him a shot. Our offense has been so bad it's worth the try.

8th - @ Kirkley & Pakefield (1st)
Big game. Ronnie Green gets the start. Kirkley & Pakefield hasn't lost yet in 8 contests.

22 - Aaaand that's why they're undefeated. 0-1

31 - Lalala. 0-2

46 - Sure, add on a goal just before half. WTF not? 0-3

77 - Husbands goes off with injury. Jjunju jogs on.

83 - Jjunju scores on a cross from Chris Allison. Big whoop. 1-3

91 - Jones scores after Jjunju's shot is deflected. It's little more than consolation cocktease, though. 2-3

Superb desperation fightback. Moses Jjunju even gets MoM with 7.9.

U18s lose again.

Transfer In
DR Paul Buzzeo (30)

Ridiculous physical attributes for a man his age and 14 penalty kicks besides. He'll get a shot in our lineup.

Richard Priest leaves for Stanway Rovers, who are 2nd in the league.

Chell Trophy - 2nd Round 1st Leg @ March Town United
Moses Jjunju is starting, as Michael Husbands is tired. Paul Buzzeo gets the nod at DR, with Michael Higginbotham moving over to DL. Egzon Asllani is playing at DC.

12 - A team we should be routing, but still nice to see Green hit the head of Wells on a corner for the goal. 1-0

31 - Knock on Higginbotham

Hirst and Allison go on for Frempong and Higginbotham at the half. Truthfully we should be losing here, not being ahead.

Matching 8.4s from Jake Wells and Egzon Asllani, with the Albanian getting MoM. This is a team we should have been able to dismantle, but instead have to grind out a 1-0 defensive victory.

Michael Higginbotham's out for a week.

Ben Kistell signs with Guildford City, earning $10,000. Although that hurts, I can't say as I blame him. 0 vs 10k is a huge difference. He's our second player to leave for a money offer. And truth be told, I'm okay with him going... he hasn't been the same this season.

Egzon Asllani is named the new captain, Chris Hirst the vice-captain.

(10th) vs Felixstowe & Walton (16th)
I should note that there's only 16 teams in the league in this year, due to shuffling around, so we're actually playing the last placed team at home. George Jones moves to AMC, Kwasi Frempong to MR, and Chris Hirst gets a crack at MC. Otherwise, it's the same as last game. Oh, except Michael Husbands is back in the lineup, too.

4 - Chris Allison makes a great, steady run down the pitch and cuts a pass through to Husbands in the half-circle.. and finally, our St. Lucian who has long since been left off the national team, gets a goal to end the drought. 1-0

24 - Buzzeo gives it to Hirst who sends it to Jones. A run into the six yard box later, we've got a doubling of our lead. 2-0

63 - Cornwell in for Hirst

71 - Rutherford in for Asllani

86 - There's a lot of traffic just inside the six yard box and what emerges out of it is Green with a fierce strike that's a green light special - his first ever goal for us. 3-0

90 - Absolutely beautiful long free kick by Green that finds Husbands for the late score 4-0

7.5 for Matthew Malek, 7.6 for Paul Buzzeo, 7.8s for Jake Wells and Michael Higginbotham, and 8.1, 8.2, and 8.8 for George Jones, Ronnie Green, and Michael Husbands respectively.

Wisbech Town fires their manager, as they're 15th. We're still 10th after that one, but in a much better position to make a quick leap up the table.

[Izulde]

Transfer In
DC Liam Douglas (17)

Depth signing, but we'll see how he goes.

Chell Trophy - 2nd Round - vs March Town United (1-0 lead)
Michael Husbands, Matthew Malek and 3/4 of our backline (save Jake Wells) are in this one, as the rest is all backups, given we've a league match in 3 days' time. The starters who are still in are there due to needing more match fitness.

9 - Welp. 0-1

15 - No worries though, as James long passes to Campbell and nobody thinks to intercept it on the way, and Matty pops it in. 1-1

16 - Unbelievable. That was a sitting goal for them and somehow they screw it up. Not a good day for the defense.

18 - They're definitely up for this game after that free kick goal. 1-2

20 - WTF, backline?! Y U GETTING ASS KICKED?! 1-3

I shred them at the half. Douglas goes in for Asllani, Cornwell for Hirst.

53 - SMH. 1-4

60 - Buzzeo converts a PK we're given, but we're still down a goal on aggregate. 2-4

75 - Urge.to.ragequit.rising. 2-5

Fucking pathetic. Going to end the session here. Way too mad to continue with this bullshit. If we'd won like we fucking should have, we'd been on to the quarterfinals.

[Izulde]

Board is still pleased and we lost $790 bucks last month.

10th @ Brantham Athletic (15th)
GK: Malek
D: Allison/Wells/Asllani/Higginbotham
M: Allison/Hirst/Frempong
ST: Jjunju/Green

3 - Wow, just wow. 0-1

We're showing some of the worst finishing ever these last few games. Moses Jjunju gets hurt before the half, but he'll continue playing. Liam Douglas comes in at DC, with Egzon Asllani shifting to DR.

46 - Why am I playing this again? 0-2

53 - Green kicks the corner and Wells knocks it down for Douglas to kick it in. 1-2

60 - Wells is hit with a yellow and a PK, but Malek saves it.

65 - Really nice run by Green leads to a feeder pass to Jones, who splices the D for the equalizer 2-2

69 - Booming kick by Chris Allison finds Green who holds up on the end touchline before passing to Frempong, who quickly kicks it to Jones. The weakest shot ever follows, but it takes a weird bounce to find the net. Frempong moves inside and Kevin Grinstead is the new MR. 3-2

72 - Great interception of a bad goal kick there, Green. Too bad your finishing sucks ass.

92 - But God bless Green for his amazing free kick ability, as he just drills one here for the insurance! 4-2

No surprise to see Ronnie Green win MoM with 9.3, and George Jones gathers an 8.9 as the whole team kicks it in to gear following my halftime tirade. Sure enough, I get praised for screaming at them. THIS IS HOW ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS START, PEOPLE!

Eastern Counties Senior Cup - @ Hadleigh United
Kwasi Frempong moves inside and Taylor Smith starts at MR. Liam Douglas is starting at DC, but otherwise it's the same as last game.

We sit back in counter mode and the first half is pretty boring, with a couple chances for each side that fizzle out. Since I'm whatever about cup play, Kevin Grinstead goes in at MR at the half, Oliver Topliss at AMC.

46 - And of course *right* when the half begins, Dean Allison is forced off due to injury, so I have to spend my last sub right away flipping Higginbotham to the left side and inserting Luke Rutherford at DR.

The second half is basically a repeat of the first, with both sides getting a couple chances, but nothing comes of it. On to extra time.

103 - Heart in mouth. Should have gone in for them.

111 - I throw my hat across the room and scream in frustration. ALL OF THE FUCKING EXTRA TIME HIGHLIGHTS HAVE BEEN THEM AND ON THIS ONE MALEK'S DOPEY FUCKING PUNK ASS JUST FUCKING STANDS THERE AND DOESN'T COME OUT TO GET THE FUCKIGN BALL SO THEY SCORE! 0-1

I curse them out for their shit extra time play and royally ream Malek. What a fucking waste of Jake Wells' MoM 8.6 and Liam Douglas 7.9 play, giving it everything they fucking had for this shitstain fuckhead of an offense.

Oh nice.



Good work, kid. Too bad it's not enough to earn you a starting spot back.

...George Jones, our leading scorer who is #2 in the league, signs with Hadleigh United. There aren't enough words to describe how stabbed in the back I feel right now.

Matthew Malek signs with Walsham-le-Willows, further weakening us.

(6th) vs Woodbridge Town (10th)
GK: Eddie Piper
D: Higginbotham/Wells/Douglas/Buzzeo
M: Allison/Hirst/Frempong
AMC: Dan Murwill
S: Husbands/Green

We'll have to go shopping after this, but the defections are just killing us this season.

The first half is marred by ugly finishing from both sides. Murwill has been an absolute trainwreck, so he's replaced at half by Topliss.

49 - Yeaaaah 0-1

52 - Tired of watching Allison louse it up out there, so Grinstead pops in at ML

60 - Meh. 0-2

86 - Husbands chips it to Green after getting a longball. We score, but it doesn't matter. Nothing will ever be happy again Thetford Town. 1-2



Sums it up right there.

[Brian Swartz]

Originally Posted by Izulde

this shitstain fuckhead of an offense

.

Sounds like my team right now. I'm not prone to rage when playing(FM or otherwhise) in general. Today was the first time I ever got genuinely mad the game, and this quote pretty much encapsulates how I felt. So ... I can feel your pain a bit on this one.

[BYU 14]

Love the passion. You are the Mike Ditka of soccer coaches..............Now go get me a juice box!!!

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

.

Sounds like my team right now. I'm not prone to rage when playing(FM or otherwhise) in general. Today was the first time I ever got genuinely mad the game, and this quote pretty much encapsulates how I felt. So ... I can feel your pain a bit on this one.

Yeah, this is seriously like playing the D-League in DDS, only it's more obnoxious because other teams on your level can steal your guys for nothing.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by BYU 14

Love the passion. You are the Mike Ditka of soccer coaches..............Now go get me a juice box!!!

Funny thing is, when I coached in real life, I was very laid back and calm (much the way I am in the classroom incidentally). It's only virtually that I let my innate raging tendencies fire.

[Izulde]

9th @ Midenhall Town (3rd)
Kwasi Frempong shifts to MC and Kevin Grinstead goes in at MR.

6 - Murwill gets the ball and passes to Green on the near post, but instead of a shot, there's a turnaround cross tot he far post where a streaking Grinstead powers it in for the fantastic start. 1-0

13 - I hate weak ass goalies 1-1

I do get a laugh every time I see Piper goal kick and Chapman gets a header. Just a little OITNB humor there. Anyway, we're playing well enough overall at half to win.

59 - And our set piece defending sucks. Husbands gets benched for Rob Clegg 1-2

77 - Brilliant run by Green but we keep clanking our shots. Like three people all have easy shots at goal and can't get it in and when Green finally races down and puts it in himself, he's whistled for offsides.

85 - Asllani in for Douglas - not that it'll matter.

I'm at as loss as to what to do with this team, really.

[Izulde]

I get warned by the FA after bitching about the offsides goal. Whatever, assholes.

Kwasi Frempong hit his yellows limit last match and will miss our next game.

[b](10th) vs Dereham Town (4th){/b]
GK: Darren Vasey
DL: Niall Elam
DC: Jake Wells
DC: Egzon Asllani
DR: Michael Higginbotham
ML: Chris Allison
MC: Chris Hirst
MR: Carl McEachran
AMC: Ronnie Green
ST: Michael Husbands
ST: Jason Frost

This is the lineup my assman recommends, save for stupid stuff like Paul Buzzeo at DC and Moses Jjunju at MR when they can't play those spots. We'll give this a try and see how it goes.

3 - I hate long range strikes 0-1

DOES NOT STRIKE IT CLEANLY DOES NOT STRIKE IT CLEANLY DOES NOT STRIKE IT CLEANLY DOES NOT STRIKE IT CLEANLY.

That's all I fucking see out of our strikers and it's pissing me off. WTF happened to Husbands? He's been simply hideous this year. Has old age caught up with him already?

55 - Great capture of the ball by Hirst who passes to Frost. Run forward and a spin move to send it to Husbands, and the St. Lucian *finally* gets one to go in. 1-1

57 - Oh look. We get screwed with a disallowed goal due to called offsides, which is BS.

60 - He's awkward at it, but Buzzeo is going to get the nod at MR for McEachran

67 - And *that*'s why Green is in the lineup. Beautiful 35 yard free kick goal. 2-1

70 - Here's Green kicking it to the head of Wells on the corner, and here's the quick double 3-1

71 - Wayne Phillips, one of our U18 players, comes in at MC for Hirst.

What a comeback! Ronnie Green leading the charge in his new position with a MoM winning 9.0, an 8.1 for Jason Frost, and an 8.2 for Jake Wells.

Now let's see if we can build momentum off that. But then Michael Higginbotham signs with Godmanchester Rovers.

Good Trains
Michael Husbands
Matty Campbell
Alex West

Bad Trains
Kwasi Frempong

We lost $958 last month.

Transfer In
MR Evans Kouassi (22)

My coaches love this kid and see him as an immediate key player due to his stellar all-around mental attributes. We'll see what happens.

(9th) @ Gorleston FC (15th)
I don't think we've ever managed to beat these guys. Evan Kouassi inserts as the new MR and Kwasi Frempong comes back from suspension to take the MC spot. Paul Buzzeo is the obvious DR replacement for the traitor.

11 - Fuck penalties. 0-1

24 - Fuck Wells blowing open headers. You're 6'8, dude!

48 - Against my gut, Buzzeo to DL and Luke Rutherford in at DR. Elam hasn't recovered from giving up the penalty.

57 - Fantastic positioning by Frempong gets him a clearance recovery and a gorgeous pass in space to Frost, who freezes the opposing keeper 1-1

58 - Sterling clearance by Frost sees Kouassi capture the ball and making an amazing solo run all the way down the pitch... only to blow the finish.

78 - Jjunju goes in for a tired Frost

We were just a little short on the day.

Halfway through the season, we're 8th with 21 points. Frustrating part is our +11 GD is better than anyone but Kirkley & Pakefield, who are leading the league with 35 points. Ely City is in 2nd with 29 points and Mildenhall Town 3rd with 27.

Obviously I'm not seeing much chance of our winning promotion, but if we can get up to a Top 3-5 finish by the second half of the season that would be good.

[Brian Swartz]

Another assist for Frogpond!!

Hopefully the rest can pick it up soon.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

Another assist for Frogpond!!

Hopefully the rest can pick it up soon.

Hopefully this group can manage to stay together and not get poached by other teams.

8th @ Wisbech Town (12th)
We haven't lost the last two games, so we'll keep it going.

3 - I'm screaming offsides at the ref, but he ignores it. We'd done so well to resist their heavy pressure, too. Fucking ref. 0-1

21 - Whole lot of ping-ponging around the box here that finally ends in the chain of Allison heading to Frost who whips it out to Kouassi, and Green pokes his foot forward on our new MR's cross to tie it up. 1-1

32 - Lucky fucking shot. 1-2

56 - FML 1-3

70 - Jjunju in for Husbands, Phillips on in place of Asllani

We played better than the scoreline indicated, but we're really missing Higginbotham on the DR spot.

Transfer In
DR Tim Pitt (23)

He'll get a shot to start, as we haven't been happy with Paul Buzzeo at all.

(10th) vs FC Clacton (5th)
As noted, Tim Pitt to start at DR in place of Paul Buzzeo.

19 - Now that was pretty. Frempong pings it to the head of Frost. Green gets the pass on the touchline and is looking at side-netting or a corner, when he suddenly streaks a backward cross to Husbands, who sinks it. 1-0

20 - There was almost an immediate answer by their goalie kicking it right at Vasey, who misses the jump, but *just* before it goes in, Wells is there to launch it out and save the sure giveaway.

47 - Kouassi with a marvelous interception, and Frost's shot off the pass bounces in with some help from the post. Great way to the second half, and we've been playing very well so far overall 2-0

65 - Terrific pickoff by Husbands, but his finishing has been off all season, so no surprise he misses here. McEachran for Kouassi at MR, Rob Clegg in at striker for Frost - both players tiring.

68 - Husbands' cross turns into a fluke own goal by their keeper. That pretty much salts this match away. 3-0

89 - Late, lazy given goal. 3-1

Forgot to mark down the stars. That's a sign I'm tired and it's time to take a nap. We're back up in 8th, though, which is right smack in the middle of the table.

[Izulde]

Transfer In
Mariusz Serwin -28 year old striker

I have a fondness for collecting international players in any sporting situation, and Serwin looks like he could challenge for a starting spot once he gets a rest in, as he was over-used by Kentish Town, his last club.

8th @ Cambridge Regional College (6th)
Jason Frost is home sick with the flu, so it'll be Rob Clegg starting at striker today.

19 - Whenever I see "Player X has gone Y number of minutes without a goal" I expect him to score, and that guy does for them here... only to rightly have it called back due to offsides.

We're doing... okay at the half. Our offense has been for shit, though.

46 - Elam, Allison, and Green orchestrate a series of passes on the left flank that caps off with Husbands taking the ball and running into the six yard box and banking a diagonal shot in. Nicely done. 1-0

63 - Rutherford and Hirst in for Asllani and Frempong

81 - Husbands takes the goal kick from Vasey and centers to Green, and the amazing ball he delivers is finished off by an awesome sliding tackle from Clegg to just barely beat the keeper and even more barely cross the goal line 2-0

Beautiful, beautiful win. 7.9 for Jake Wells, 7.6 for Rob Clegg, and 8.3 for Michael Husbands getting PotM. We still have a need for a DC we can trust to put next to Wells, though. Egzon Asllani is too streaky, and Luke Rutherford keeps screwing up every chance he gets.

Bad Trains
Alex West
David Langton

Board's very pleased, but we lost $3.3k last month.

(7th) vs Walsham-le-Willows (11th)
You all remember Jared Jeffries, the first guy to stab us in the back, right? Well, 21 appearances later, he has a 6.71 average rating for the Willows and yeah, screw him. Mariusz Serwin gets the nod at ST today, as Jason Frost is still getting over the flue. Otherwise, same thing.

36 - And did we forget to mention Luke Eaton and Matthew Malek are also poached guys? Anyone, Frempong to Green followed by a long ball to Kouassi, who crosses it to Husbands. Short run in the driving rain later, and it's a nice FU goal by the St. Lucian 1-0

We've done a pretty damn good job, so let's keep taking it to these traitors.

51 - Ball slips out of Vasey's hands. Ugh. Ronnie Linsdale in for Allison, who looks all whatever out there. 1-1

57 - And here's Pitt to Green to Kouassi to Serwin.... Polish punt in! Whooo! 2-1

63 - Holy crap I thought Jeffries put that in, but it somehow bounces out!

65 - He's been great, but Kouassi is looking tired, so I put McEachran in at MR.

It's the kind of game where Evans Kouassi's 7.4 is good enough for PotM. We'll take it - just a solid, workmanlike win all the way around.

That moves us up to 4th place - probably the best we'll be the rest of the season, but that's okay. We're not quite ready to compete for the title, and would get slaughtered at the next level even if we did promote.

[Izulde]

To illustrate just how much of an impact Ronnie Green has had, in 11 games, he has 5 goals and 8 assists... which puts him tied for 2nd in the league in assists already. Just wish he was 22 instead of 32.

Transfer In
DLC Leon Burnell - 17 - Stolen from Diss Town

Really, really like this kid. He's played for Brantham Athletic and Diss Town in our league so far and has been an excellent player. He'll get his shot to play the DC spot.

4th @ Haverhill Rovers (5th)
Big, big game for our league standing purposes. Leon Burnell takes the DC spot over Egzon Asllani, and we'll leave our Polish striker in after his great debut.

13 - Pitt with the throw-in to Serwin, who gives it right back. Then comes the cross... and the defender heads it in for an own goal and an early lead for us. 1-0

Shot after shot after shot we've been getting, but the finishing is just not there. We should be up by 2 or 3 goals at this point, not hanging on by the narrowest of leads due to a gift.

Wayne Phillips goes on for Frempong at MC, who had just the worst first half (5.8) and didn't appear to get riled up by the halftime speech.

52 - Fuck the 20 yard strikes int he ass! 1-1

57 - Phillips receives the ball from I forget who, and immediately gives it to Green. A chip pass to Kouassi finds the right midfielder's feet and he pushes aside the defender's challenge to deftly knock in his first goal for us. Husbands is playing terrible, so Clegg subs in after the goal. 2-1

75 - FUCK YOU HE WAS OFFSIDES!!! 2-2

83 - NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2-3

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, aaaaaand fuck you!

That fucking RIDICULOUS ASS loss drops us all the way down to 6th and completely fucking DESTROYS any glimmer of a hope that we might actually fucking promote from this god damned fucking soccer purgatory.

And that's with Kirkley & Pakefield continuing their cold run of form and losing the top spot to Ely City, too.

6th vs Diss Town (12th)
Same lineup, as we were doing well until our second half collapse.

2 - Green takes the corner and the defense heads it away, but it stays in the six yard box and finds Serwin for the half-crack volley and the early scorching goal. 1-0

3 - Terrible rolling pass by Vasey is intercepted, but somehow they miss the open shot.

26 - Fuck. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING FROGPOND WTF YOU MAKE SLIDING TACKLE RIGHT TO OPPONENT?! THEY PAYING U BRAH?! 1-1

[b[40[/b] - Fuck you Kouassi was NOT offsides!

Frempong is getting moved up to AMC despite being unconvincing at it, because fuck Green's shit first half. Egzon Asllani comes on for Leon Burnell

47 - I look for something to throw with full fury and find a sock. But the angle turns out as fucking limp-wristed as this shit fucking team is and just flutters to the floor a fucking half-foot from my desk. 1-2

63 - And just to make sure we *can't* win, Phillips gets his second yellow and is done. DUDE, HOW THE *FUCK* DO YOU GET 2 FUCKING YELLOWS IN JUST 18 MINUTES?!

64 - And of course Wells misses a header. Fuck this bullshit. 1-3

What the fuck ever happened to you know, WINNING GAMES AND MAYBE TRYING TO CHALLENGE FOR THE TITLE?! Absolutely fucking pathetic!



We fucking stink like burnt rubber, that's for damned sure.