Dirty Limericks (ode to Sue-bee)

[Fritz]

There once was a poster from Manassass
who was addicted to suppositories made of shot glasses
He would slide one in
again and again
and now has the fragilist of asses

[Subby]

The great Fritz was talented and crass.
His posts filled with humor and sass.
But there is something nutty...
'Bout my cuddly buddy...
Can't write limmericks to save his ass.

[Fritz]

at least I am cuddly

[QuikSand]

These two guys from FOF's ranks
Spend their days and their nights without thanks
But the "butt" of their joke's
The expense of the folks
Who are midgets with fondness for spanks.

[QuikSand]

It's a shame that the not-so-well versed
Write a poem that is frequently cursed
While they understand rhyme
It's that most of the time
They forget that the meter comes first.

[cuervo72]

QuikSand's right it is all in the beat
three-ninth's time it might read on a sheet
Altogether five lines
Of two sixes, three nines
Add some rhyme and the limrick's complete.

[Subby]

I now realize my big mistake
My original verse was a fake
Too many syllables
(Is FOF time billable?)
I must stop snorting crack for god 'sake!

[Fritz]

the grammar nazis strike again!

[Subby]

Originally posted by Fritz
the grammar nazis strike again!

See? Now you aren't even trying. That doesn't rhyme and is several lines short.

[Ksyrup]

I hate to be picky, but let's do a better job of putting the "dirty" in dirty limericks.

And no Subby, FOFC time is not billable. I've tried.

[Fritz]

Originally posted by Subby
See? Now you aren't even trying. That doesn't rhyme and is several lines short.

You dickhead, the rest were silent, in loving memory of Shane MacGowan.

[fantastic flying froggies]

I motion this thread to be stickied !

[QuikSand]

Yes, fff - better to have all the dreadful "poetry" in one thread, than all over the place.

[CamEdwards]

There once was a buggerer named Fritz
who constantly fondled his tits.
dressed up like a doll
with holes open for all,
drunk on cheap bourbon and Schlitz.

[cuervo72]

So we motion this thread we should stick
Dirty poetry this is our trick
The "Dictator" we mail
But alas no avail
His response will be "Hey, suck my d*ck"



(ok, SkyDog would never say that)

[Fritz]

The was a processed meat addict named Cam
who was poor and craved some spiced ham
so he made all the rounds
of parks and playgrounds
trading sexual favors for Spam.

[scooper]

I'll never eat Spam again. I won't even read Spam e-mails.

[Subby]

When Bucc was born in 1804
Frontier life must have been such a chore
No MJ or hard rap
Just farming and long naps
Modern life made him cranky for sure

[cincyreds]

look at all these poets and they didn't even knowitz.

[JAG]

When Bucc reached 4k posts he did find
He had to leave his old name behind
Didn't listen to our pleas
Thumbed his nose and now he's
Anrhy...Anrhy...never mind.

[QuikSand]

At this forum the live topics may show
The whole gamut - football to fellatio
But if puzzle's your game
Then the answer's the same
If it's QuikSand, two-thirds is the ratio

[QuikSand]

It's high time we sorted this out
The statistics leave barely a doubt
'Cause the quote there by Fritz
Says that one in four fits
His most personal spaces with trout

[NoMyths]

There was a conundrum called QuikSand
Who posted more than any man can
He's evenly humored
and I've heard that it's rumored
He's far more robotic than human.

[sabotai]

On this board there is a goon named Fritz
With a move on girls he calls the blitz
But it was not cocky
Nor was it funny
But his failure he never admits

[sabotai]

There was a forum mod named SkyDog
Who had a head as thick as a log
The complaints came too late
Puh-leaze he said irate
And he rode off on his gnarly hog.

[sabotai]

A limerick of random saying
Tired of the band overplaying
physiological state
infant mortality rate
And I will go on carillon playing

(I love limericks)

[korme]

a dirty limerick is on call
the boys they love them all
but lets just get down
in this ubertown
and show each other our balls

[sabotai]

Arn went on about the game design
SkyDog insisted the game was fine
Rise Of Nations they said
Was a winner instead
But Arn continues to malign

[korme]

i am eating taco bell
you all know that smell
i cannot rhyme
when it's poopy time
someone please call dell

[sabotai]

It came out of my ass oozy green
I should have not eaten all those beans
The dead has now been done
I tell ya this ain't fun
Now getting this bathroom to be clean

[korme]

we be spittin rhymes
for some good times
fofc is phat
remember dat
i have lots of dimes

[sabotai]

Shorty really needs to learn how to make a limerick. That last one was just bad.

[korme]

sabotai is a hater
i'd make him my caterer
because he'd serve
and pass out orderves
or maybe a tater

[sabotai]

Shorty is a player hater
He makes fun of fishing baiters
He just sits and rhyme
At least half of the time
I'll just go and say later

[korme]

the camel jumped the hurdle
quicker than any turtle
he was quick
he was slick
he did not own a single gertle

[korme]

i am killing this thread
should i just go to bed
haha yeah right
i am feelin tight
i know not a ned

[BFleming]

Wanted to find a new honey
So I tried to be cocky and funny
Alas a mistake
Got hit with a rake
And the stitches cost all of my money

[Frozenrope]

There was a young woman from Sophia,
that succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin,
but now that it's in,
can you shove it a few inches higher?!!"