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Old 07-27-2012, 02:25 PM   #551
Lathum
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Your company needs to hire smarter employees
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Old 07-27-2012, 02:28 PM   #552
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Your company needs to hire smarter employees

I could literally start an entire thread about all the dumb shit that goes on here.
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Old 07-27-2012, 02:33 PM   #553
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I do payroll. So when peeps who get their paychecks come to me and ask how many days they have of PTO ...

Employee: How many days of PTO do I have?

Me: On the paystub I just gave you there is a line that says PTO hours. What does it say?

Employee: Oh. It says 223 hours.

Me: How many hours a day do you work?

Employee: 8.

Me: Soooo .... 223/8 is ..... ?

Employee using calculator: 27.88 ....

Me: So you have 27.88 days.

Employee: Oh.





Employee: How many weeks/months is that?

You need to just start answering then with whatever number.

"Three and a half"

"Hours?"

"Yep"

"That can't be right!"

"That's what my records show"

That should send them back to their desks for awhile
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Old 07-27-2012, 02:39 PM   #554
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DOLA

Reminds me of a totally frustrating conversation with a former co-worker.

Early 2000's, I worked in a tax area, so Jan-Apr sucked. But May-Dec, flexible scheduling/compressed scheduling was allowed. So I worked 4 10's, Tues-Fri. Vacation days accrued were in 8 hour increments. So while I earned 3 weeks/15 days/120 hours per year, my 10 hour days left me with 12 days off.

A co-worker was thinking about moving to a compressed schedule. When he asked about the vacation calcuation, I explained it. He gets all fired up "I'm not losing 3 vacation days! I'm not giving those back"

I try explaining that for losing 3 days, if he's off every Monday like him, he's picking up 32 (roughly) days off.

"No...don't you see they are charging you 3 vacation days to move to that schedule? That's not right"

Try explaining it again. No dice

So finally I'm like "Good point...you probably shouldn't choose this schedule, it sucks!'

tl;dr I hate really stupid people
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Old 07-27-2012, 02:39 PM   #555
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You should tell them that the hours are calculated in metric time and they really only have about 4 days of time off accrued.
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Old 07-27-2012, 02:45 PM   #556
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You should tell them that the hours are calculated in metric time and they really only have about 4 days of time off accrued.

I support payroll and field these sorts of questions all the time. I'm going to remember this one.
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Old 07-27-2012, 04:25 PM   #557
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Metric time = awesome

SI
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Old 07-27-2012, 04:38 PM   #558
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I've always wanted one of these

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Old 07-28-2012, 10:32 PM   #559
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24 hours/day -> 20 mhr/day
60 min/hr -> 50 mmin/mhr
60 sec/min -> 50 msec/min

1440 min/day -> 1000 mmin/day
86400 sec/day -> 50000 msec/day

So we're looking at mseconds that are 1.728 seconds long? Okay, I'm down.

Last edited by britrock88 : 07-28-2012 at 10:33 PM. Reason: long division derp
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Old 08-09-2012, 12:23 PM   #560
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When I post a picture or copy a message on Facebook, people thinking I spent time making the picture or writing the message and telling me I have too much time on my hands. Thanks for thinking I'm that creative, but really ...
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Old 08-10-2012, 01:30 AM   #561
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People who pronounce badminton correctly.
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Old 08-10-2012, 01:44 PM   #562
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Doing it _correctly_ is what bothers you?
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Old 08-10-2012, 01:59 PM   #563
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People who pronounce badminton correctly.

Damn them and their perfect diction!
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Old 08-10-2012, 07:14 PM   #564
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yes. as far as i'm concerned it should universally be called badmitten.
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Old 08-10-2012, 08:39 PM   #565
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People that are pretentious about their name... especially when it is the same name as mine. A guy that I used to work with would promptly and obnoxiously correct people if they called him Dave... "No, it's David"... like he was scolding a 5 year old that left the milk out.
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Old 08-10-2012, 08:56 PM   #566
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People that are pretentious about their name... especially when it is the same name as mine. A guy that I used to work with would promptly and obnoxiously correct people if they called him Dave... "No, it's David"... like he was scolding a 5 year old that left the milk out.

Reminds me of the episode of Family Guy when Peter sees what life would be like if had never drank and has a friend, I believe, named William.

"Well does he go by Bill, or Will or something?"

"Nope, it's William."
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Old 08-10-2012, 08:59 PM   #567
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yes. as far as i'm concerned it should universally be called badmitten.

Where are you on February? Comfortable? Sherbet?
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Old 08-11-2012, 02:14 AM   #568
britrock88
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Or Surprise?
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Old 08-11-2012, 04:27 AM   #569
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Where are you on February? Comfortable? Sherbet?

Hmm. Never noticed that middle one before. Comf-turr-bull is how i say it. Probably going to bug me now. (speaking of probably... also, sometimes i get lazy and say prolly, or prob-lee)

Last edited by DougW : 08-11-2012 at 09:06 PM.
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Old 08-11-2012, 07:29 AM   #570
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Where are you on February? Comfortable? Sherbet?

Or library?

I was watching something last night and not a single person pronounced Westminster right. It was pronounced westminister.
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Old 08-11-2012, 01:39 PM   #571
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Or library?

Lie-Bary.
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Old 08-11-2012, 07:29 PM   #572
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I think we should axe him about a few more words

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Old 08-11-2012, 11:55 PM   #573
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yes. as far as i'm concerned it should universally be called badmitten.

so THIS is the post that led to ebonics. Take heed.
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Old 08-12-2012, 12:06 AM   #574
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First they came for the cupboards....
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Old 08-12-2012, 12:11 AM   #575
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People who pronounce badminton correctly.


whoops my mistake it was this one.

Incidently I would like to add "those who speak like they are an ignorant hayseed even if they are". I also add "those who look like a hayseed even if they are"

Last edited by CrimsonFox : 08-12-2012 at 12:12 AM.
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Old 09-08-2012, 08:36 PM   #576
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I really, really hate homers who act like idiots. Look I love my team but you don't have to act like a total douche bag in the process. Grow the fuck up and have some sportsmanship.
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Old 09-10-2012, 10:09 AM   #577
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Where are you on February? Comfortable? Sherbet?

Wednesday, Government
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Old 09-11-2012, 02:13 PM   #578
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Environment, Anemone
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Old 09-11-2012, 02:27 PM   #579
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By all means take you time getting into your car. It's not like I'm standing here waiting to get in my car so I can leave. People are fucking oblivious.
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Old 09-11-2012, 02:52 PM   #580
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Elevators:

If you have to wait for an elevator, the likelihood that someone is going to get out of the elevator when the doors open, is quite high. Even higher in a high traffic area. Don't try and bum rush into the elevator as soon as the door opens and then act surprised that someone is trying to get out.
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Old 09-11-2012, 02:55 PM   #581
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By all means take you time getting into your car. It's not like I'm standing here waiting to get in my car so I can leave. People are fucking oblivious.

It's very clear that people value their time more highly than that of everyone around them. They have no problem crossing parking lots diagonally, thus taking 5 times as long to clear the lane than if they had just gone straight across. They will walk 5 abreast down the aisles of the parking lot, blocking the lane. They'll stop in the middle of the road to do a U-Turn when they miss a turn, blocking the entire lane to save 1 minute, when they could have gone to the next light to make a left and get turned around without holding anyone else up. They'll park in front of the store/bank/whatever, choking the lane and risking accidents, to save 15 seconds of walking. I could go on.
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Old 09-11-2012, 02:55 PM   #582
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If you have to wait for an elevator, the likelihood that someone is going to get out of the elevator when the doors open, is quite high. Even higher in a high traffic area. Don't try and bum rush into the elevator as soon as the door opens and then act surprised that someone is trying to get out.

We're still working on our kids with this one...
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:22 PM   #583
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Elevators:

If you have to wait for an elevator, the likelihood that someone is going to get out of the elevator when the doors open, is quite high. Even higher in a high traffic area. Don't try and bum rush into the elevator as soon as the door opens and then act surprised that someone is trying to get out.

Oh yeah, don't get me started on this one. Everyone forgets the theory of osmosis when it comes to elevators.
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:30 PM   #584
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We're still working on our kids with this one...

At least you are trying. I give kids a pass on this one. It's the adults....grrrr.


Quote:
Originally Posted by stevew
Oh yeah, don't get me started on this one. Everyone forgets the theory of osmosis when it comes to elevators.

Exactly. You would think after one or two times of this happening to you, you would figure it out.
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:33 PM   #585
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It's very clear that people value their time more highly than that of everyone around them. They have no problem crossing parking lots diagonally, thus taking 5 times as long to clear the lane than if they had just gone straight across. They will walk 5 abreast down the aisles of the parking lot, blocking the lane. They'll stop in the middle of the road to do a U-Turn when they miss a turn, blocking the entire lane to save 1 minute, when they could have gone to the next light to make a left and get turned around without holding anyone else up. They'll park in front of the store/bank/whatever, choking the lane and risking accidents, to save 15 seconds of walking. I could go on.

The classic, "I'll pull out in front of a car that is going 55, and proceed to drive 35mph for .75 of a mile and then make a left turn move" always pisses me off.

If you're barely going to be on the road, don't interrupt me from my cruising speed.
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:36 PM   #586
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It's very clear that people value their time more highly than that of everyone around them. They have no problem crossing parking lots diagonally, thus taking 5 times as long to clear the lane than if they had just gone straight across. They will walk 5 abreast down the aisles of the parking lot, blocking the lane. They'll stop in the middle of the road to do a U-Turn when they miss a turn, blocking the entire lane to save 1 minute, when they could have gone to the next light to make a left and get turned around without holding anyone else up. They'll park in front of the store/bank/whatever, choking the lane and risking accidents, to save 15 seconds of walking. I could go on.

This kind of shit makes me want to have a day like Michael Douglas in "Falling Down" and just fucking...go off on people.

Falling Down - Bad Day - YouTube (wouldn't embed for me)
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:39 PM   #587
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Originally Posted by JediKooter View Post
Elevators:

If you have to wait for an elevator, the likelihood that someone is going to get out of the elevator when the doors open, is quite high. Even higher in a high traffic area. Don't try and bum rush into the elevator as soon as the door opens and then act surprised that someone is trying to get out.

And unless there's 1 elevator for a 50-story building or something, demanding that people hold the elevator for you, or holding the elevator for someone else, is not a very efficient distribution of time lost if there's people in the elevator. If I see people up ahead getting into an elevator, I'll hide behind a vending machine or around the corner until they leave, because if they see me, they'll end up holding the door, I'll have to run up there like a jerk, and then I'll be in a crowded elevator that stops on every floor. Instead, I wait 10 seconds and get my own express elevator. At least until someone catches me hiding behind a vending machine and has be committed to a mental institution, of course.

Last edited by molson : 09-11-2012 at 03:39 PM.
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:40 PM   #588
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I deliver, so i like to get as close to a facility door as possible and park. I'm carrying important shit. Never ceases to amaze me how someone will block this point, just so they can pick up their SO getting off of work. It would be good exercise for some of these people to walk an extra 40 feet to the car. Or, wait off to the side and then pull up when they present themselves for pickup. This is not raping and mugging country, your wife will not get shiv'd if you aren't right on top of the door.

Last edited by stevew : 09-11-2012 at 03:40 PM.
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:44 PM   #589
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And this one's maybe irrational on my end, but I HATE it when I'm walking and cars stop for me when I'm not at a crosswalk. When I'm walking, I try to make it look like I have no interest in crossing the street. If a car comes, I might even turn my back at an intersection so they have no choice but to keep going. I just want to cross the street when there's no traffic, I don't want to wait, see if you're really stopping, try to waive you on, then have you insist that I go ahead, and then when I finally go (and hold up other traffic), I have to be all careful because other cars might not have gotten the memo that they're supposed to stop in the middle of the road where there's no cross-walk. I swear, you're not being rude by making me cross the street 1 second later when you pass.
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:47 PM   #590
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Where are you on February?

Georgia, usually.
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:50 PM   #591
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And this one's maybe irrational on my end, but I HATE it when I'm walking and cars stop for me when I'm not at a crosswalk. When I'm walking, I try to make it look like I have no interest in crossing the street. If a car comes, I might even turn my back at an intersection so they have no choice but to keep going. I just want to cross the street when there's no traffic, I don't want to wait, see if you're really stopping, try to waive you on, then have you insist that I go ahead, and then when I finally go (and hold up other traffic), I have to be all careful because other cars might not have gotten the memo that they're supposed to stop in the middle of the road where there's no cross-walk. I swear, you're not being rude by making me cross the street 1 second later when you pass.

This.

And as a driver I hate those pedestrians who expect me to stop for them when they're not in a crosswalk and there's a crossalk like...25 feet away. Fuck you...walk down to the crosswalk you lazy SOB, and then I'll stop.
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Old 09-11-2012, 03:54 PM   #592
molson
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This.

And as a driver I hate those pedestrians who expect me to stop for them when they're not in a crosswalk and there's a crossalk like...25 feet away. Fuck you...walk down to the crosswalk you lazy SOB, and then I'll stop.

I think this is a northeast thing. We know everything works better in big cities traffic-wise where people follow the rules, but don't show meaningless courtesy. Out in the mid-west/west, it's a different deal. People here will just stop their cars in the middle of streets, with no traffic, no cross-walks anywhere, if they have a hunch that I'm going to cross. It's an act that costs us both time.

Last edited by molson : 09-11-2012 at 03:54 PM.
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Old 09-11-2012, 04:01 PM   #593
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I think this is a northeast thing. We know everything works better in big cities traffic-wise where people follow the rules, but don't show meaningless courtesy. Out in the mid-west/west, it's a different deal. People here will just stop their cars in the middle of streets, with no traffic, no cross-walks anywhere, if they have a hunch that I'm going to cross. It's an act that costs us both time.

Could be. But I mean I'm not even talking in the city - I'm talking like...25k person suburb.
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Old 09-11-2012, 05:41 PM   #594
A-Husker-4-Life
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I have a coworker that bangs on his desk like a drum all day long, I just want to break his fucking fingers.. that's all..
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Old 09-12-2012, 09:56 AM   #595
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And this one's maybe irrational on my end, but I HATE it when I'm walking and cars stop for me when I'm not at a crosswalk. When I'm walking, I try to make it look like I have no interest in crossing the street. If a car comes, I might even turn my back at an intersection so they have no choice but to keep going. I just want to cross the street when there's no traffic, I don't want to wait, see if you're really stopping, try to waive you on, then have you insist that I go ahead, and then when I finally go (and hold up other traffic), I have to be all careful because other cars might not have gotten the memo that they're supposed to stop in the middle of the road where there's no cross-walk. I swear, you're not being rude by making me cross the street 1 second later when you pass.

I know what you mean. It's not a peeve of mine, because I know they're just being nice, but I do the same thing of pretending like I'm not going to cross the street. I don't need you to take 30 seconds to slow to a stop when you could have just passed by in 10 seconds. I just wait until there's no traffic to cross the road, because I know what the fuck I'm doing.
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Old 09-12-2012, 09:56 AM   #596
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The elevator corollary: If you're the only person on the elevator, when it comes to a stop, don't stand around the corner where you can't be seen, and then crash into people coming into the elevator car when the doors open. If you're going to get off, stand in front of the door where you will be visible and people will know to wait for you.
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Old 09-12-2012, 12:00 PM   #597
Chief Rum
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Where Hip Hop lives
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn View Post
The elevator corollary: If you're the only person on the elevator, when it comes to a stop, don't stand around the corner where you can't be seen, and then crash into people coming into the elevator car when the doors open. If you're going to get off, stand in front of the door where you will be visible and people will know to wait for you.

When I do this, I go in with a head first tackle. Usually they just collapse. It's awesome.
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I would rather be wrong...Than live in the shadows of your song...My mind is open wide...And now I'm ready to start...You're not sure...You open the door...And step out into the dark...Now I'm ready.

Last edited by Chief Rum : 09-12-2012 at 12:01 PM.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:02 PM   #598
Lathum
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: homeless in NJ
Quote:
Originally Posted by molson View Post
I think this is a northeast thing. We know everything works better in big cities traffic-wise where people follow the rules, but don't show meaningless courtesy. Out in the mid-west/west, it's a different deal. People here will just stop their cars in the middle of streets, with no traffic, no cross-walks anywhere, if they have a hunch that I'm going to cross. It's an act that costs us both time.

Growing up in New Jersey and now living in Seattle I can confirm this. I have almost taken out a number of people by not stopping then they throw up their arms at me like I am the asshole.

And dont get me started on people on bicycles.
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Old 09-12-2012, 03:06 PM   #599
Lathum
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: homeless in NJ
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn View Post
The elevator corollary: If you're the only person on the elevator, when it comes to a stop, don't stand around the corner where you can't be seen, and then crash into people coming into the elevator car when the doors open. If you're going to get off, stand in front of the door where you will be visible and people will know to wait for you.

I live in a building on the fifth floor in the city so spend a lot of time on the elevator. We are also trying to teach our son the ettiquete. The problem is he is a very energetic 2 and a half year old.

The funny thin is I would say with him it all evens out. The amount of times he has bum rushed the elevator and crashed into someone probably equal the amount of times someone just walked onto the elevator without looking to see if anyone was getting off and having him crash into them. I figure we're good in that department.
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Old 10-12-2012, 08:32 AM   #600
Passacaglia
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Big Ten Country
Using "ask" as a noun.
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