Front Office Football Central  

Go Back   Front Office Football Central > Main Forums > Off Topic
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read Statistics

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-14-2006, 01:50 PM   #201
wishbone
High School JV
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Hillsboro OR
Quote:
Originally Posted by CU Tiger View Post
After lunch I need to drop some mexican kids off at the pool

Is this an everyday occurence? Were these just random mexicans? Is it like the day labor pickup, you just yell out "I need 9 for swimming!" and you let them fight to get into the truck?

Just curious...
wishbone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-2006, 05:05 PM   #202
Eaglesfan27
Hall Of Famer
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: New Jersey
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkmsuf View Post
Just thought of something. A revelation if you will.

I've never wiped my ass with my left hand. Ever. Reason I thought of this is I tore the fingernail on my middle finger last night and today I was wiping and it hurt so much I almost had to try lefty.

Anyone an ambidextrous wiper?


About a week ago, I had a nasty cut on one of my fingers that became mildly infected and quite painful. Every time I wiped, it was very painful. I tried to wipe left handed, but it was so awkward that I just ended up enduring the pain.

The odd thing is that I am ambidexterous in some sports (I can throw fairly well left handed and I can bat from either side of the plate.)
__________________
Retired GM of the eNFL 2007 Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles (19-0 record.)
GM of the WOOF 2006 Doggie Bowl Champion Atlantic City Gamblers.
GM of the IHOF 2019 and 2022 IHOF Bowl Champion Asheville Axemen.
Eaglesfan27 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2006, 08:46 AM   #203
rkmsuf
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27 View Post
About a week ago, I had a nasty cut on one of my fingers that became mildly infected and quite painful. Every time I wiped, it was very painful. I tried to wipe left handed, but it was so awkward that I just ended up enduring the pain.

The odd thing is that I am ambidexterous in some sports (I can throw fairly well left handed and I can bat from either side of the plate.)

Same here. I'm wizard-like with the left and right handed dribbling but I powered through the pain as well.
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales
rkmsuf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2006, 09:37 AM   #204
Flasch186
Coordinator
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Jacksonville, FL
I honestly cant remember ever having to wipe lefty...

however, once, in my granpa's final weeks I had to help him wipe, while holding him up above a toilet at Mayo Clinic and it was a nightmare....However looking back on it, and us laughing (one of the last laughs we shared) I can't help, as gross as it sounds, to feel like the poo on his hands was part of the glue that bonded us together.
__________________
Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale

Putting a New Spin on Real Estate!



-----------------------------------------------------------

Commissioner of the USFL
USFL

Last edited by Flasch186 : 12-15-2006 at 09:38 AM.
Flasch186 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2006, 03:23 PM   #205
gkb
High School Varsity
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colorado
I'm a left-handed wiper, even though I'm a righty...which seems odd now that I read this thread.
__________________
BALLERZ YO, fo shizzle. - QuikSand
gkb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2006, 03:25 PM   #206
rkmsuf
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by gkb View Post
I'm a left-handed wiper, even though I'm a righty...which seems odd now that I read this thread.

you are a 1 percentile. a true freak of nature.
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales
rkmsuf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 10:15 AM   #207
rkmsuf
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Ok, so I'm entering the handicapped stall ready to perch on top of the bowl and I spy a newspaper on the floor. My initial thought was "score!" and was about to pick it up and enjoy some literature. Then a little voice inside advised caution as I really don't know what kind of travels this newspaper has had or what kind of precipiation it has been subjected too. Sadly I didn't read the lifestyles section just begging to be read for fear of defecation residue.

What's your feeling on the newspaper leave behind? A score or avoid contact?
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales
rkmsuf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 10:16 AM   #208
Butter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Dayton, OH
Avoid.
__________________
My listening habits
Butter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 10:30 AM   #209
vtbub
College Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Burlington, VT USA
Avoid
__________________


vtbub is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 10:35 AM   #210
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
Avoid, but use my foot to reposition the front page to where I can read parts of the articles from above.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 10:37 AM   #211
Logan
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NYC
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksyrup View Post
Avoid, but use my foot to reposition the front page to where I can read parts of the articles from above.

Exactly.

Someone who leaves a newspaper behind, fully open, is a good man in my book.
Logan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 10:56 AM   #212
KevinNU7
College Starter
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Beantown
Anyone who leaves the newspaper in the handicapped stall on the floor when they can clearly drape it on the handicapped railing is a plague to society.
__________________
Boston Bashers - III.14 - (8347)
KevinNU7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 10:57 AM   #213
Warhammer
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Dayton, OH
I bring my own reading materials.
Warhammer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 11:02 AM   #214
rkmsuf
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by KevinNU7 View Post
Anyone who leaves the newspaper in the handicapped stall on the floor when they can clearly drape it on the handicapped railing is a plague to society.

so you are comfortable taking the paper from the rail and opening it?
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales
rkmsuf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 11:02 AM   #215
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
It could fall.

My first preference is reading material on my BlackBerry, but when that fails, I look for alternatives.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 11:06 AM   #216
spleen1015
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksyrup View Post
My first preference is reading material on my BlackBerry, but when that fails, I look for alternatives.

Texas Hold 'Em King 2 is great for this.
spleen1015 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 11:08 AM   #217
KevinNU7
College Starter
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Beantown
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkmsuf View Post
so you are comfortable taking the paper from the rail and opening it?
Yes, I live a simple life and try not to over think it
__________________
Boston Bashers - III.14 - (8347)
KevinNU7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 11:23 AM   #218
MikeVic
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hometown of Canada
I'd avoid.
MikeVic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 11:55 AM   #219
Logan
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NYC
Quote:
Originally Posted by KevinNU7 View Post
Anyone who leaves the newspaper in the handicapped stall on the floor when they can clearly drape it on the handicapped railing is a plague to society.

You're the one touching other people's fecal matter. More of a chance that you are the "plague."

Quote:
Originally Posted by KevinNU7 View Post
Yes, I live a simple life and try not to over think it

Nevertheless, I agree with your basic reasoning. But I wouldn't go as far as to hold onto a newspaper that has touched the hands of at least one person while they were dumping.
Logan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:12 PM   #220
rjolley
College Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Roseville, CA
Quote:
Originally Posted by spleen1015 View Post
Texas Hold 'Em King 2 is great for this.

Agreed. Texas Hold 'Em King 2 is excellent for passing time.
rjolley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:18 PM   #221
MikeVic
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hometown of Canada
I hate when a washroom's only toilet is the handicap one. They are sometimes so tall and big that I can't comfortably sit on them. There's a Wal-Mart here that has 4 or 5 urinals, and then just the one handicap toilet. All places should be required to put in a regular toilet as well.
MikeVic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:32 PM   #222
Suburban Rhythm
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pittsburgh
I started a new job about 6 months ago...now within the same (original) company, though at the time of the move, it was a joint venture.

I immediately noticed the magazine racks on the bathroom wall I knew I'd found a place that takes care of it's employees.
__________________
"Do you guys play fast tempos with odd time signatures?"
"Yeah"
"Cool!!"
Suburban Rhythm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:33 PM   #223
rkmsuf
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm View Post
I started a new job about 6 months ago...now within the same (original) company, though at the time of the move, it was a joint venture.

I immediately noticed the magazine racks on the bathroom wall I knew I'd found a place that takes care of it's employees.

ewwww
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales
rkmsuf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:34 PM   #224
Toddzilla
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Burke, VA
It's likely my hands are going to be covered in crap regardless of what I do or don't read in the stall, so what's a little more poop from the paper going to hurt?
Toddzilla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:35 PM   #225
rkmsuf
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toddzilla View Post
It's likely my hands are going to be covered in crap regardless of what I do or don't read in the stall, so what's a little more poop from the paper going to hurt?

It's like sticking your whole hand in someone else's ass.
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales
rkmsuf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:35 PM   #226
Butter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Dayton, OH
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeVic View Post
I hate when a washroom's only toilet is the handicap one. They are sometimes so tall and big that I can't comfortably sit on them. There's a Wal-Mart here that has 4 or 5 urinals, and then just the one handicap toilet. All places should be required to put in a regular toilet as well.


Sort of a reverse Accessibility Act.
__________________
My listening habits
Butter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:41 PM   #227
FrogMan
Hattrick Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Pintendre, Qc, Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeVic View Post
I hate when a washroom's only toilet is the handicap one. They are sometimes so tall and big that I can't comfortably sit on them. There's a Wal-Mart here that has 4 or 5 urinals, and then just the one handicap toilet. All places should be required to put in a regular toilet as well.

what I hate the most about being stuck with the handicap toilet is that it's often a bit higher than the normal one. You know, being six feet tall and not having your the heel of your foot touch the floor when you shit just doesn't feel right...

FM
__________________
A Black Belt is a White Belt who refused to give up...
follow my story: The real life story of a running frog...
FrogMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:41 PM   #228
MikeVic
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hometown of Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butter_of_69 View Post
Sort of a reverse Accessibility Act.

Yes, the toilet requirement should be an Act.
MikeVic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:42 PM   #229
MikeVic
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hometown of Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrogMan View Post
what I hate the most about being stuck with the handicap toilet is that it's often a bit higher than the normal one. You know, being six feet tall and not having your the heel of your foot touch the floor when you shit just doesn't feel right...

FM

Exactly! I'm used to firmly planting myself when I use a stall. I can't do that with the handicap toilets. I'm around 5'8". I can fall in!

edit: Does someone have a picture of a guy about to fall into a toilet, trying to grasp for the railing with a scared look on his face... and with the caption "Oh Shi-"????

Last edited by MikeVic : 02-20-2007 at 02:44 PM. Reason: more text
MikeVic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:51 PM   #230
rkmsuf
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
I love the places with the single restroom...mostly restaurants. You go in there, shut the door and pray you don't hear the knock if you have business to take care of.

That teaches you to be a pressure player. You hear the knock and then have to get to it. Not easy if you have a backup.

The multiple knockers are the worst. They knock and somehow can't hear you say "occupied" and keep knocking.
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales
rkmsuf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 02:59 PM   #231
Dr. Sak
Grizzled Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Stuck in Yinzerville, PA
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkmsuf View Post
I love the places with the single restroom...mostly restaurants. You go in there, shut the door and pray you don't hear the knock if you have business to take care of.

That teaches you to be a pressure player. You hear the knock and then have to get to it. Not easy if you have a backup.

The multiple knockers are the worst. They knock and somehow can't hear you say "occupied" and keep knocking.

Or you can have what I had a few weeks ago at walmart. Someone trying to shoulder the door open like it was locked by accident. So i finished up...went out the door to find the person. He's gone. So I lurk around the shoe section by the bathroom to see if the guy comes back to yell at him. He doesn't show after a few mins so I figure he either left or shit his pants.
Dr. Sak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 03:03 PM   #232
rkmsuf
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by bsak16 View Post
Or you can have what I had a few weeks ago at walmart. Someone trying to shoulder the door open like it was locked by accident. So i finished up...went out the door to find the person. He's gone. So I lurk around the shoe section by the bathroom to see if the guy comes back to yell at him. He doesn't show after a few mins so I figure he either left or shit his pants.

lol, that's pure terror

At a restaurant the other day an older lady went to the restroom, door is locked with someone in there. she knocks, can't hear the person inside, knocks again and then says to her friend "must be stuck...maybe we should get the manager to open the door."

lol
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales
rkmsuf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 03:06 PM   #233
Butter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Dayton, OH
ksmurf, you're like the Seinfeld of toilet observations.
__________________
My listening habits
Butter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 03:09 PM   #234
rkmsuf
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butter_of_69 View Post
ksmurf, you're like the Seinfeld of toilet observations.

What's the deal with the cologne dispenser?!?
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales
rkmsuf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 03:20 PM   #235
Dr. Sak
Grizzled Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Stuck in Yinzerville, PA
I have a good one about my boss. I go into the bathroom after a late night of work to wash up. There are four stalls and four urinals. I hear my boss talking from one of stalls. At first I thought he was talking to me but after a few seconds I figured out he was on the phone.

I am finishing washing my hands and he is about hang up. He finishes the conversation with "Ok honey I'll be home for dinner soon. Love you."

So he was talking to his wife on the shitter. I wasn't able to look him in the eye for weeks without laughing.
Dr. Sak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 03:47 PM   #236
gkb
High School Varsity
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colorado
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkmsuf View Post
Ok, so I'm entering the handicapped stall ready to perch on top of the bowl and I spy a newspaper on the floor. My initial thought was "score!" and was about to pick it up and enjoy some literature. Then a little voice inside advised caution as I really don't know what kind of travels this newspaper has had or what kind of precipiation it has been subjected too. Sadly I didn't read the lifestyles section just begging to be read for fear of defecation residue.

What's your feeling on the newspaper leave behind? A score or avoid contact?

Avoid. You can use the bottom of your shoes to reposition the paper so that you can read it (like someone else mentioned). Extra credit if you can turn a page or two with your feet.
__________________
BALLERZ YO, fo shizzle. - QuikSand
gkb is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 03:51 PM   #237
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
I've been watching My Left Foot so that I can master this art.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 03:56 PM   #238
Butter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Dayton, OH
Then your feet will be touching the paper which is worse, because you're not going to go to the sink and wash your feet afterwards.
__________________
My listening habits
Butter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2007, 08:53 PM   #239
wbatl1
High School Varsity
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Butter_of_69 View Post
Then your feet will be touching the paper which is worse, because you're not going to go to the sink and wash your feet afterwards.

But the bottom of your feet touch much worse things than a paper that may or may not have crap on it...
__________________
wbatl1
wbatl1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2007, 12:30 AM   #240
Craptacular
College Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: The Mad City, WI
Quote:
Originally Posted by bsak16 View Post
So he was talking to his wife on the shitter. I wasn't able to look him in the eye for weeks without laughing.

My wife talks to me while she's on the shitter.
Craptacular is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-21-2007, 12:45 AM   #241
Desmond
Banned
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: The Hatch
Quote:
Originally Posted by Craptacular View Post
My wife talks to me while she's on the shitter.

See, and I have to pay to get that kind of action.
Desmond is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 10:50 AM   #242
rkmsuf
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Ok that was a little odd. Just took a shit and it was almost lime green.
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales
rkmsuf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 11:14 AM   #243
gottimd
Dearly Missed
(9/25/77-12/23/08)
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: DC Suburbs
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkmsuf View Post
Ok that was a little odd. Just took a shit and it was almost lime green.
Too much salad? Wasabi? Mold? Moss?
__________________
NAFL New Orleans Saints GM/Co-Commish
MP Career Record: 114-85
NAFL Super Bowl XI Champs
In memory of Gavin Anthony: 7/22/08-7/26/08
gottimd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 11:15 AM   #244
Dr. Sak
Grizzled Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Stuck in Yinzerville, PA
Spinach?
Dr. Sak is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 11:33 AM   #245
Toddzilla
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Burke, VA
I loves me a poop thread
Toddzilla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 11:34 AM   #246
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toddzilla View Post
I loves me a poop thread

In honor of rkmsuf, please get the coloring right.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 11:37 AM   #247
spleen1015
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
This happened to me when I ate Trix for dinner every day for 2 weeks.
spleen1015 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 12:12 PM   #248
rkmsuf
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by gottimd View Post
Too much salad? Wasabi? Mold? Moss?

the only thing I can think of is the gatorade but that was blue. must have reacted with the chicken and corn.

btw some corn did make it out intact. godspeed to them as they continue their journey.
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales
rkmsuf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 12:21 PM   #249
Butter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Dayton, OH
Note to self: Don't click on this thread during lunch hour any more.
__________________
My listening habits
Butter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-06-2007, 12:29 PM   #250
tucker342
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Iowa City, IA
Lol, classic thread... when I find a newspaper in the stall I consider it a great thing unless it has obviously seen better days than I avoid at all costs.
tucker342 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 10:52 PM.



Powered by vBulletin Version 3.6.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.