Jared Lorenzen back playing indoor football at 320 pounds

Galaxy · 02-04-2014, 07:04 PM

Jared Lorenzen back playing quarterback at 320 pounds | FOX Sports on MSN

cougarfreak · 02-04-2014, 07:28 PM

He's from a school very close to the one I teach at. "The Pillsbury Throwboy", "Hefty Lefty" have been used in the past to describe him. I did the stats for our school when he was playing in high school. I'll never forget him coming out to warm up as a senior. He got on his knees at the 50 yard line, and threw the ball to Derek Smith in the end zone for about 10-15 minutes to warm up. Those two were quite the tandem at Highlands and UK. They won 3 basketball regions in a row as well, they were dominant on the hoops scene as well.

SteveMax58 · 02-05-2014, 08:05 AM

Seems like he should come back to the NFL now.

Can't wrap this guy up because no human's arms are that long. Can't hit him low as its a penalty, same for hitting him at the helmet area. He should be good to go.

Oh and 320 my ass....he's a biscuit short of 400 lbs.

DaddyTorgo · 02-05-2014, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveMax58

Seems like he should come back to the NFL now.

Can't wrap this guy up because no human's arms are that long. Can't hit him low as its a penalty, same for hitting him at the helmet area. He should be good to go.

Oh and 320 my ass....he's a biscuit short of 400 lbs.

If he can still put any distance on his throws with those arms then honestly it might be worth a look by some team. He's like a more extreme version of Rapistburger.

PilotMan · 02-05-2014, 11:46 AM

In other news...

Former All-Pro Steeler Guard Alan Faneca dropped 100lbs and ran a marathon.

Former NFL Offensive Lineman Alan Faneca Drops 100 Lbs, Runs Marathon | Bleacher Report

Lathum · 02-05-2014, 11:47 AM

We should totally do an FOFC get together at one of his home games.

Assuming tickets are available.

Logan · 02-05-2014, 11:50 AM

"Pillsbury Throwboy" is one of my favorite nicknames ever and kicks the shit out of "Hefty Lefty".

PilotMan · 02-05-2014, 11:50 AM

Yeah that would be great! How many Cincy guys do we have anyway?

BillJasper · 02-05-2014, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

We should totally do an FOFC get together at one of his home games.

Assuming tickets are available.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PilotMan

Yeah that would be great! How many Cincy guys do we have anyway?

I was thinking about going to a game.

Lathum · 02-05-2014, 12:10 PM

We gotta have at least 10 or so.

Maybe if we all bring Little Debbie Snack Cakes we can meet him after.

molson · 02-05-2014, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Logan

"Pillsbury Throwboy" is one of my favorite nicknames ever and kicks the shit out of "Hefty Lefty".

I was just thinking that. I don't care how many different guys get that nickname, I never get tired of it.

Also, i was surprised to learn that there's NINE indoor U.S. football leagues. They're all small and disjointed, but they exist. It really wouldn't take too much money for FOFC to buy, or pay the "expansion fee" for a regional arena league team. We could name it the Trout.

Butter · 02-05-2014, 12:20 PM

Where are they playing their games?

BillJasper · 02-05-2014, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

Where are they playing their games?

Bank of Kentucky Center on the Northern Kentucky University campus.

PilotMan · 02-05-2014, 12:33 PM

Looks like they are playing at the Bank of Kentucky Center at NKU.

PilotMan · 02-05-2014, 12:33 PM

Comey · 02-05-2014, 12:40 PM

He said on SVP that the largest he's ever weighed in at is 348. I believe he said that's "on the record".

I remember the old NES hockey game, and how they had that big round guy that people would bounce off of. I imagine, if they made a football game, this is what that would look like.

RomaGoth · 02-05-2014, 07:42 PM

The thread title confused me, I thought it was related to Lorenzo Lamas or Lorenzo Neal....

albionmoonlight · 02-05-2014, 07:52 PM

I've always been partial to "Round Mound of Touchdown"

PilotMan · 02-06-2014, 11:35 PM

Home games for Lorenzen's River Monsters are

2/9
2/16
3/15
4/5
4/19

I don't think there will be a shortage of tickets anytime soon.

BillJasper · 02-07-2014, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PilotMan

Home games for Lorenzen's River Monsters are

2/9
2/16
3/15
4/5
4/19

I don't think there will be a shortage of tickets anytime soon.

Yeah. Bank of Kentucky Center seats around 10,000 and I doubt the River Monsters will draw more than a couple thousand a game. I'd be up for the game in March if they haven't folded by then.

Galaxy · 02-07-2014, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Comey

He said on SVP that the largest he's ever weighed in at is 348. I believe he said that's "on the record".

I remember the old NES hockey game, and how they had that big round guy that people would bounce off of. I imagine, if they made a football game, this is what that would look like.

PilotMan · 02-07-2014, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillJasper

Yeah. Bank of Kentucky Center seats around 10,000 and I doubt the River Monsters will draw more than a couple thousand a game. I'd be up for the game in March if they haven't folded by then.

I'll have to see what my schedule ends up being in March. I should know by the 18th if I'll have that day off.

PilotMan · 02-07-2014, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

We should totally do an FOFC get together at one of his home games.

Assuming tickets are available.

Posted in the Cincy Party/Get Together Thread

PilotMan · 02-09-2014, 04:02 PM

OH NOES!!!!

Gigantic QB Jared Lorenzen Hurts Ankle, Is Carried Off By Four People

Galaxy · 02-11-2014, 01:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

If he can still put any distance on his throws with those arms then honestly it might be worth a look by some team. He's like a more extreme version of Rapistburger.

It would be interesting to see. The QB sneak would never be the same.

Lathum · 08-25-2014, 11:18 AM

Ex-NFL QB Jared Lorenzen's lifelong battle with weight

lighthousekeeper · 08-25-2014, 12:32 PM

wow that was a good read.

flere-imsaho · 08-27-2014, 09:35 AM

Yeah, just wanted to say that was an excellent read. You have to wonder how good he could have been had he been able to keep the weight off.

02-04-2014, 07:28 PM	#2
cougarfreak College Starter Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Out of Grad School Hell :)	He's from a school very close to the one I teach at. "The Pillsbury Throwboy", "Hefty Lefty" have been used in the past to describe him. I did the stats for our school when he was playing in high school. I'll never forget him coming out to warm up as a senior. He got on his knees at the 50 yard line, and threw the ball to Derek Smith in the end zone for about 10-15 minutes to warm up. Those two were quite the tandem at Highlands and UK. They won 3 basketball regions in a row as well, they were dominant on the hoops scene as well. __________________ “I don’t like the Cubs,” Joey Votto said. “And I’m not going to pat anybody with a Cubs uniform on the back."

02-05-2014, 11:46 AM	#5
PilotMan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Seven miles up	In other news... Former All-Pro Steeler Guard Alan Faneca dropped 100lbs and ran a marathon. Former NFL Offensive Lineman Alan Faneca Drops 100 Lbs, Runs Marathon \| Bleacher Report __________________ He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam

02-05-2014, 11:50 AM	#8
PilotMan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Seven miles up	Yeah that would be great! How many Cincy guys do we have anyway? __________________ He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam

02-05-2014, 12:20 PM	#12
Butter Coordinator Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Dayton, OH	Where are they playing their games? __________________ My listening habits

02-05-2014, 12:33 PM	#14
PilotMan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Seven miles up	Looks like they are playing at the Bank of Kentucky Center at NKU. __________________ He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam

02-05-2014, 08:05 AM	#3
SteveMax58 College Starter Join Date: Dec 2006	Seems like he should come back to the NFL now. Can't wrap this guy up because no human's arms are that long. Can't hit him low as its a penalty, same for hitting him at the helmet area. He should be good to go. Oh and 320 my ass....he's a biscuit short of 400 lbs.

02-05-2014, 11:47 AM	#6
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	We should totally do an FOFC get together at one of his home games. Assuming tickets are available.

02-05-2014, 11:50 AM	#7
Logan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: NYC	"Pillsbury Throwboy" is one of my favorite nicknames ever and kicks the shit out of "Hefty Lefty".

02-05-2014, 12:10 PM	#10
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	We gotta have at least 10 or so. Maybe if we all bring Little Debbie Snack Cakes we can meet him after.

02-05-2014, 12:33 PM	#15
PilotMan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Seven miles up	damn __________________ He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam

02-05-2014, 12:40 PM	#16
Comey College Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: CT via PA via CA via PA	He said on SVP that the largest he's ever weighed in at is 348. I believe he said that's "on the record". I remember the old NES hockey game, and how they had that big round guy that people would bounce off of. I imagine, if they made a football game, this is what that would look like. __________________

02-05-2014, 07:52 PM	#18
albionmoonlight Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: North Carolina	I've always been partial to "Round Mound of Touchdown"

02-06-2014, 11:35 PM	#19
PilotMan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Seven miles up	Home games for Lorenzen's River Monsters are 2/9 2/16 3/15 4/5 4/19 I don't think there will be a shortage of tickets anytime soon. __________________ He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam

02-09-2014, 04:02 PM	#24
PilotMan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Seven miles up	OH NOES!!!! Gigantic QB Jared Lorenzen Hurts Ankle, Is Carried Off By Four People __________________ He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam Last edited by PilotMan : 02-09-2014 at 04:06 PM.

08-25-2014, 11:18 AM	#26
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	Ex-NFL QB Jared Lorenzen's lifelong battle with weight

08-25-2014, 12:32 PM	#27
lighthousekeeper College Starter Join Date: Oct 2000	wow that was a good read. __________________ ...

08-27-2014, 09:35 AM	#28
flere-imsaho Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Chicagoland	Yeah, just wanted to say that was an excellent read. You have to wonder how good he could have been had he been able to keep the weight off.

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