Online dating

[JediKooter]

Don't feel bad M Go Blue. Every time I see the collective neurosis of the women here in the bay area and then look at the prospects in San Diego, all I can think of is, "I would not still be single if I lived in San Diego".

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Don't feel bad M Go Blue. Every time I see the collective neurosis of the women here in the bay area and then look at the prospects in San Diego, all I can think of is, "I would not still be single if I lived in San Diego".

There are lots of good catches in Pittsburg.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Rizon

There are lots of good catches in Pittsburg.

Too bad Pumpy has already marked his territory there.

[sterlingice]

Oh! That's what that smell all around the city was

SI

[JediKooter]

That's something you just can't "wash off".

[Young Drachma]

Amazon.com: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough: Lori Gottlieb: Books

Book is obviously targeting women, but is a worthwhile read for men. A 41-year woman who is a writer, who had a kid on her own and then decided she wanted to try to find a husband. She chronicles her dating experiences past and present, hiring matchmakers at a point and a dating coach. If nothing else to see the perspective of a woman and of the guys she interviews...might change a perspective or two.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Dark Cloud

Amazon.com: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough: Lori Gottlieb: Books

Book is obviously targeting women, but is a worthwhile read for men. A 41-year woman who is a writer, who had a kid on her own and then decided she wanted to try to find a husband. She chronicles her dating experiences past and present, hiring matchmakers at a point and a dating coach. If nothing else to see the perspective of a woman and of the guys she interviews...might change a perspective or two.

A kid on her own?

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

I even sent a quick note to one that really hit me where it counts that she made me wish I hadn't moved from the Bronx. She even replied, thanking me & wishing me luck.

She would not have been single, nor replied if she had been, if I were still there...

Fuck you, and your "law," Murphy. You prick.

What did you tell her?

[Galaxy]

I saw this as the headline in a picture of windmills (just windmills) in one profile: One of the reasons I like driving by the water everyday. Yes to windmills; no to fracking.


Okay?

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I wrote to a local woman that practically made me fall out my chair. She seems outstanding. Beautiful. Real. Intelligent. Nice.

Got this reply:

Hey, hi there. I'm sorry but I don't think we're a good match.
However, I wish nothing but best that you'd find your match soon

Reaffirming that she is likely everything I thought. Impressive. I'm not even disappointed or anything that I got shot down. I was worried about if she said she was interested, as I don't have a job that can afford dating. Plus she lives just far enough away where you would seriously consider commuting to see an outstanding woman, but still far enough away that it would be a problem,

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

What did you tell her?

It was simple.

hi... just wanted to say that seeing your profile makes me wish i never left the bx!

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by Dark Cloud

Amazon.com: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough: Lori Gottlieb: Books

Book is obviously targeting women, but is a worthwhile read for men. A 41-year woman who is a writer, who had a kid on her own and then decided she wanted to try to find a husband. She chronicles her dating experiences past and present, hiring matchmakers at a point and a dating coach. If nothing else to see the perspective of a woman and of the guys she interviews...might change a perspective or two.

Originally Posted by Galaxy

A kid on her own?

Seems a tiny part of her problem is the hermaphroditic issue......

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

Seems a tiny part of her problem is the hermaphroditic issue......

That or it sounds like she's really not a team player. After all, it takes two to make a relationship work.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Saw a woman on Okcupid who looked pretty good. Said "hi." Next thing you know she wants my email, phone & full name and location. Gave her an email, then flagged her. She's, of course, one of the scammers out there.

Thought I'd share the intro to the manifesto she sent me.

Hello Dear ,
Thanks For Getting back to me.....Well to start off my name is
Pamela Malony,i came from a rare combination , Dad is an American/grew
up in troy Michigan. while mom is West Africa. My Dad Passed Away when
i was 13. So right now i had to relocate to meet my mom here in West
Africa cos she's sick and I need to be with her., I don't really know
him that well because he was always on business trips . I speak fluent
English and my native language. .

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

Saw a woman on Okcupid who looked pretty good. Said "hi." Next thing you know she wants my email, phone & full name and location. Gave her an email, then flagged her. She's, of course, one of the scammers out there.

Thought I'd share the intro to the manifesto she sent me.

Apparently she can't write fluent English.

[TCY Junkie]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

Saw a woman on Okcupid who looked pretty good. Said "hi." Next thing you know she wants my email, phone & full name and location. Gave her an email

Saw a woman online......... the more you don't use them as experiments to see how witty they are the more they're interested. I would give out names and stuff so the board could warn them how crazy I am, but I already tried to warn them and it seems pointless.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

i killed my onliune profiles on both sited.

saw a woman that looked good. not drive into a tree or anything... just the kind you could show off & feel good. mom might like her even. she didn't respind. all the ones that write me are frightening. one was "she might need a tetnis shot" scary. another was at best, plain. for a living she was a "stay at home mom" she couldnt' spell worth anythig (so i'm a little drunk right now and i can't either. la de fucking da) i had fun mentioning that i was "underemployed" never heard from her gold digging ass again. boo hoo.

one i wrote to who replied looked very nice! got her phone number. called.

q. so how are you?
a. ok

q. you doing anything?
a. no

well, i was just _____
sounds borign

q. you work today?
a. i'm on vacation

q. you do anything?
a. sleep

so that's how muych fun that was.

did i mentuon the fat chicks? no? good.

i'm done until i get a job

[Suicane75]

I can't imagine how bad your breath must be right now.

[Izulde]

Yeah about the only women who respond on online dating sites are those to whom this is essentially the last stop to Spinsterville.

[Qwikshot]

Originally Posted by Izulde

Yeah about the only women who respond on online dating sites are those to whom this is essentially the last stop to Spinsterville.

I disagree. I do think location is the most critical thing.

I'm married now but after my break-up many years ago I did sign up for match.com.

The results were hit and miss, because the area I lived in was too suburban. It was a challenge and a hell of an effort to send out several emails a day (to different girls) and then keep track of the incoming emails (if any). There were days with no replies.

Don't forget girls at these sights are getting mass emailed, they get to pick. You may even take a risk or two by emailing girls without pictures.

I did manage to date a few nice girls but nothing really came of them; I had my own baggage. I look back with some fondness at the awkwardness of it all.

I met my wife at college. She was a senior and I had been out of school for several years. There was a nine year age difference. We now have a son and things are going pretty well.

My brother also joined up with match several years ago; that's where he met his wife. They have two children and seem to be quite happy. I know of a few success stories.

[Comey]

I've had mixed success on Match. The first time I was on it (2005), I had rather good success with dates. The second time (within the last year), I felt it was a major waste of time, until I met my recently-turned-ex-gf on it.

A couple of days ago, I saw a woman who lives on Long Island. Stunningly beautiful. To me, she is must-be-fake beautiful. And I figured I had no shot, because she lives on Long Island (and I the CT Shoreline). So I told her what I thought, and to have a good day. She responded, and our discussions since make me believe that somewhere, someone is having a *really* good laugh about this.

I certainly do not expect any returns on this. But it's nice all the same. There are a couple of other women as well, but if I had the chance with this one, I'd jump at it in a heartbeat.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by Comey

I've had mixed success on Match. The first time I was on it (2005), I had rather good success with dates. The second time (within the last year), I felt it was a major waste of time, until I met my recently-turned-ex-gf on it.

A couple of days ago, I saw a woman who lives on Long Island. Stunningly beautiful. To me, she is must-be-fake beautiful. And I figured I had no shot, because she lives on Long Island (and I the CT Shoreline). So I told her what I thought, and to have a good day. She responded, and our discussions since make me believe that somewhere, someone is having a *really* good laugh about this.

I certainly do not expect any returns on this. But it's nice all the same. There are a couple of other women as well, but if I had the chance with this one, I'd jump at it in a heartbeat.

Quick word of advice: Don't dick around too much on e-mail and just ask her out on a blind date. Go for the jugular.

[RedKingGold]

I found my fiancee' on Match.com. I signed up in late-July 2010 and we went out on our first date on September 6, 2010. Got engaged in August 2011 and will be married on June 22, 2013.

I also had good luck on Match prior to meeting my fiancee', going on multiple dates with three other girls during the six weeks I had a profile (not a bad success rate). Online dating lies somewhere between meeting a girl at a bar (worse) and getting set up by mutual friends and/or in mutual interests (better).

I do have some suggestions for online daters:

#1. DO sell yourself like a product. Post only good, but honest photos of yourself. Keep your profile information short but interesting. No one is going to read a novel of a profile, think 50-75 words tops.

#2. DO conduct a broad-based marketing search. You just need to as a guy because, in my opinion, it is harder for guys in online dating because ladies are worried about stalkers, creepy people, etc. On Match, I "liked" about 50-60 profiles a day, which just involves scrolling through, deciding if I liked the photos, and clicking on a button. Have a standard, opening e-mail ready that is short and just introducing yourself. Do NOT go into heavy details about your life. I did, sometimes, send unprompted e-mails to "liked" profiles, but, most often, I waited until I got a "like" or e-mail in return first.

#3. DON'T get into a prolonged e-mail exchange with a person. You'll have trouble meeting someone in online dating if you treat her like a pen pal.

#4. DO try to arrange an early, informal date. By the second or third e-mail, just offer to meet her for drinks. Dinner is too formal, and drinks can just be a half hour to an hour. While you might worry that you are coming off as too strong or aggressive, those girls are likely just looking for a reason not to go out on a date with you. If they are attracted to you by your photo, they'll tell themselves they are interested in your confidence and agree to meet you.

#5. DON'T get too hard on yourself or fear rejection. Online dating is a step above meeting someone at a bar, but only a small step and easier because the rejection is public. Just keep trucking, realize there are also ugly girls on there who would love to go on a date with you, and keep at it. That being said, if you're getting absolutely no hits, you may want to lower your standards a little.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Suicane75

I can't imagine how bad your breath must be right now.

I am a bit creeped out that you were sitting there thinking about my breath. FYI I don't make out with guys.*

Also, I should never post after a long bad day & several drinks.




*Pumpy is an exception. Pumpy is always an exception.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Qwikshot

I disagree. I do think location is the most critical thing.

I think this makes a lot of sense.

I've never used an online dating site, but have a friend who just joined match. For shits and giggles I went on with her ID and checked out girls in Seattle (my wife knew all about it, I'm no JimmyWint). I had never even been on a site before and was curious about it.

There were several girls who fell into my "criteria" who seemed attractive, interesting, and on there for a variety of reasons. Even at a 10% success rate I would have had a lot of dates, interest, whatever you want to call it.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I actually am supposed to get together for dinner with a woman I met... get this... in the real world. Wasn't even trying. In fact, when I first saw her & her daughter I thought it was young sisters. I probably would have avoided them if I had realized she was almost my age...

Therein lies the rub. Met her at the pool. The pool for my condo complex. She's a neighbor. This could be really bad, but she seems nice, normal and CUTE. Still, it could be really bad.

[Izulde]

I'd say go for it anyway.

[rjolley]

It could also be really good. Don't put a negative spin on it. You should go into it being positive, or you may take yourself out of a good time.

[stevew]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

I actually am supposed to get together for dinner with a woman I met... get this... in the real world. Wasn't even trying. In fact, when I first saw her & her daughter I thought it was young sisters. I probably would have avoided them if I had realized she was almost my age...

Therein lies the rub. Met her at the pool. The pool for my condo complex. She's a neighbor. This could be really bad, but she seems nice, normal and CUTE. Still, it could be really bad.

I think this ends really badly.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

& her daughter

Pass!

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by sabotai

Pass!

Can't pass on a woman with a kid when I have one myself. She (my daughter) is a legal adult, but still... I'd be one hell of a hypocrite!

I actually have a +1 variable on this issue. If a woman has more than one more than I have it seems like it's a hell of a lot to deal with.

Originally Posted by stevew

I think this ends really badly.

That would make it an average ending for me.

Originally Posted by Izulde

I'd say go for it anyway.

Originally Posted by rjolley

It could also be really good. Don't put a negative spin on it. You should go into it being positive, or you may take yourself out of a good time.

I'm going to see where it goes. The worst that I see happening at this point is it doesn't work and I have awkward moments around here. If I'd avoid seeing if it goes anywhere I think it would be a similar outcome. We'll see... She wants to go for dinner sometime next week.

One thing could make it REALLY a potential problem... We were talking about my job situation. Her boss asked her if she knew anybody interested in an entry level data entry position. I gave her my resume. THAT could ice the cake!

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

I'm going to see where it goes. The worst that I see happening at this point is it doesn't work and I have awkward moments around here. If I'd avoid seeing if it goes anywhere I think it would be a similar outcome. We'll see... She wants to go for dinner sometime next week.

One thing could make it REALLY a potential problem... We were talking about my job situation. Her boss asked her if she knew anybody interested in an entry level data entry position. I gave her my resume. THAT could ice the cake!

I say go for it unless she gets you the job, that could make shit weird. Either way, nothing venture, nothing gained. Worst thing that happens is it doesn't work out and you get to watch every other guy she bangs go come and go from your living room window.

[DaddyTorgo]

Okay - I need to capitalize on the loneliness I feel after attending yet another wedding of a close friend yesterday and really get my ass in gear on this.

Don't want to be single anymore

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Don't want to be single anymore

I hear you, brother.

Still... I'm scared to death of relationships. Only had one make it to a year.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

In fact, when I first saw her & her daughter I thought it was young sisters.

Dear Penthouse Forums,

You'll never believe what happened the other day down by the pool at my apartment complex...

[Blackadar]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

I hear you, brother.

Still... I'm scared to death of relationships. Only had one make it to a year.

Find the right one and the years go by. My wife and I have our 20th wedding anniversary this year (and we dated for a number of years before getting married).

So, in that regard, you better go date that cute neighbor of yours. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

[Matthean]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Okay - I need to capitalize on the loneliness I feel after attending yet another wedding of a close friend yesterday and really get my ass in gear on this.

Don't want to be single anymore

I'm really glad the bulk of my 30+ cousins are married.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Blackadar

Find the right one and the years go by. My wife and I have our 20th wedding anniversary this year (and we dated for a number of years before getting married).

So, in that regard, you better go date that cute neighbor of yours. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

Another cute neighbor said hello today out of the blue & then proceeded to talk in a flirty manner for a good 20 minutes when I complimented the flowers on her balcony. I'll call her "Plan B."

[JediKooter]

Awful Women On OkCupid For Awful Dudes

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Rizon

There are lots of good catches in Pittsburg.

Yeah so many "good catches" that I had to go to the state of Indiana to find a nice lady.

PS - There is an H at the end of PittsburgH

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by Dr. Sak

Yeah so many "good catches" that I had to go to the state of Indiana to find a nice lady.

PS - There is an H at the end of PittsburgH

Wrong Pittsburgh. I'm talking about the one in California near where we live, that doesn't have an H at the end.

Pittsburg, California (CA 94565) profile: population, maps, real estate, averages, homes, statistics, relocation, travel, jobs, hospitals, schools, crime, moving, houses, news, sex offenders

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Awful Women On OkCupid For Awful Dudes

I love how on Okcupid they show one's reply response, and it seems like nearly every woman has a red dot (replies very selectively). I'm not saying you should reply to every person-and I don't know they kind of messages they get-but it seems egregious.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

I love how on Okcupid they show one's reply response, and it seems like nearly every woman has a red dot (replies very selectively). I'm not saying you should reply to every person-and I don't know they kind of messages they get-but it seems egregious.

I see that red dot on (rough guesstamate) about 90% of womens profiles on there. I can see where some would get more messages than they could possibly reply to, but, most of them seem to be picky beyond their catch level.

It's the 21st century for shits sake, being 'coy' or 'hard to get' is about as out of date as the steam engine and paddle boats.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

I see that red dot on (rough guesstamate) about 90% of womens profiles on there. I can see where some would get more messages than they could possibly reply to, but, most of them seem to be picky beyond their catch level.

It's the 21st century for shits sake, being 'coy' or 'hard to get' is about as out of date as the steam engine and paddle boats.

If you're all holding out for the "right" guy, then the right guy has all of the power, if that makes sense, while the "lower value" (at least in a selective woman's eyes) guys find more realistic, smart women. Then what happens?

Some woman can be picky, though I'm sure there is a good minority of guys who send crappy or rude messages that they don't respond to.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

If you're all holding out for the "right" guy, then the right guy has all of the power, if that makes sense, while the "lower value" (at least in a selective woman's eyes) guys find more realistic, smart women. Then what happens?

Some woman can be picky, though I'm sure there is a good minority of guys who send crappy or rude messages that they don't respond to.

Then you see the large amount of late 30s and early 40s women that are 'single with no children' lamenting why they just can't seem to find that perfect guy, that I see on okcupid. I have to say, after reading most of their profiles, my first thought is, "I can see why you're still single. You seem like a complete pain in the ass living in a fantasy world". Get rid of the 6 dogs you have living with you and are in every single picture with you. That would be a good start.

[Grover]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Then you see the large amount of late 30s and early 40s women that are 'single with no children' lamenting why they just can't seem to find that perfect guy, that I see on okcupid. I have to say, after reading most of their profiles, my first thought is, "I can see why you're still single. You seem like a complete pain in the ass living in a fantasy world". Get rid of the 6 dogs you have living with you and are in every single picture with you. That would be a good start.

Better than six cats, right?

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Grover

Better than six cats, right?

The cats I'm a little more lenient with just because those women don't see fit to have them in every single picture and go on and on about how much they love cats. The Dog Women (as I like to call them) are a different breed all together. They seem hyper/high strung and so so happy to tell you how much they love their dog/s.

The cat women, well, since they don't talk about it, you really don't know if they have a ton of cats or not.

Don't get me wrong, that's only a small portion of those women's profiles that are off putting. You could actually take the pets out of it and you can still see why they are single. I'm going off of women's profiles in my area, so, it could just be a Bay Area anomaly.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

I'm going off of women's profiles in my area, so, it could just be a Bay Area anomaly.

Nah, men and women are the same around this nation.

[sabotai]

Keep in mind that women on those sites (I would assume) get a lot of messages like "LOL UR UGLY" or "OMG ur so hawt." I'd think those kinds of messages would skew the "how often do they respond" results.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by sabotai

Keep in mind that women on those sites (I would assume) get a lot of messages like "LOL UR UGLY" or "OMG ur so hawt." I'd think those kinds of messages would skew the "how often do they respond" results.

Note to self: re-evaluate approach to messaging