Originally Posted by Total Pro Week 2
(((0))) "Oye Como Va (instrumental)" (Santana) (((0)))
{The camera quickly cuts to the ring to see Hoss Tumbleweed run
the referee out of the ring after dragging his huge gut under
the ring ropes. Blind Melon Chitlin deliberately walks up the
steps after yelling at a ringside fan, threatening him with a
slightly battered stainless-steel Haliburton that's handcuffed
to his left wrist. Hoss berates one of the ring crew until they
toss him a mic, which he misses and that brings another barrage
of foul yelling.}
OWL: And unless, I miss my guess, hell has just come to Total
Pro Wrestling.
MT: Folks, we had to cut the mikes on the cameras down there
or risk being taken out of the air. These two men, the
scourge of every wrestling federation they have ever
been in, for better, or for worse, are now in Total Pro
Wrestling.
(picking up the mic)
[Hoss]
Is this dang thing on? GOOD! So this here is SWA Total Pro?
(Hoss stomps around the ring yelling off-mic to fans)
I gots ta say. After fallin' asleep three times last week tryin'
ta watch the first show, thank the Lawd fer VCRs. Took me five
of them Grandes coffee thangs to get through it. I can see why
they needed Hoss. Alls I saw was a bunch of kids, heard a bunch
of noise they called music by people couldn't scrape Hank's boots,
and warn't impressed one bit.
Hail, I didn't even believe it til Chitlin showed me. Ya'll
gots a kimono filly calling shots 'round chere and even a baby
oven lacing up the boots fer fightin. I must've fast forwarded
over them parts. Ain't been but one woman who ever deserved to
set foot in this here squared circle and that was Blind Melon
Momma.
(Hoss hands the mic off to Blind Melon Chitlin and stomped around some
more. The crowd at this point is booing mercilessly)
[BMC] (making the sign of the cross as he begins speaking)
Mi sainted madre would never act in the disrespectful manner
as that shameless yellow tart, Nockedup Xylophone.
[Hoss] (leaning in to the mic to correct BMC)
Ya' got 'er name wrong, Chitlin. Ah thinks it's somethin' like
Hogmanure Likesherbutter. HAW! HAW! HAW! (Hoss leans back out
of the main shot)
[BMC]
Regardless of her unpronounceable moniker, she is nothing but a
low-rent geisha mop girl who would be best advised to keep her dainty
little lotus flower nose out of our business lest she incur our wrath
from day one. The atrocities her people perpetrated at Nanking will
look like child's play if she makes the foolish mistake of crossing
us. Just ask the witless boobs who crossed us in the VCW. Where
are they now? (looking around the crowd as if to spot someone he
recognized from the past) That's what I thought.
(Hoss grabs the mic back from BMC and shouts)
[Hoss]
But I did see a bunch of long-hair types goin' on-an-on bout
winnin' this belt here and there, an' about how their gonna win
this or that here in Total Pro. Word of advice young'uns, don't
nobody care about no hunk of metal, what they care about is who
can whoop the bulljive outta ya. Well, all you people are looking
at two men here who can beat the hail outta any fella they got in
the back.
Take them Ipodes outta yer ears and step up, Hoss' here.
(Hoss grins ear to ear, laughing raucously with BMC)
MT: So there they are, an open challenge by Hoss Tumbleweed
to anyone in the building!
OWL: And lookee lookee, no Willow Moongarden, no "Wild" Jodi
Wolf, no "Wildfire" Johnny Rage...
(((0))) "It's My Life" (Bon Jovi) (((0)))
(The lights go down and the music plays for a few seconds, before...)
(((0))) (sung) This is a song for the broken hearted (((0)))
(As the songs guitars kick back in, a lone spotlight hits the
entryway, and the walkway to the ring is being spotlighted with
several symbols that are recognized by the Greek letter "omega".
After a few seconds, a man walks out wearing close cropped blond
hair and simple black tights. He calmly, but with steeley-eyed
focus, slowly walks to the ring. The look on Blind Melon Chitlin's
face is one of shock as the crowd pops, some more than others.)
OWL: OK, what fool is coming out...oh.
MT: DAMIEN OMEGA! GOOD LORD, DAMIEN OMEGA IS *HERE* IN TOTAL
PRO WRESTLING, AND BLIND MELON CHITLIN COULD BE KNOCKED
OVER BY A STIFF BREEZE AT THIS POINT!!!
OWL: Meanwhile, Hoss looks livid that Omega has basically one-upped
their grand entrance!
MT: Folks, there's too much history here to give you in 25 words
or less, but back in the days of VCW, Omega was known as a
man called Actagon, and Chitlin made his life a living, breathing
hell for a long time. And I guarantee you that Damien Omega
has not forgotten one moment of it.
OWL: Tell both sides of the story here, Tait. The fact was Chitlin
and BMC Enterprises OWNED Actagon. He was kidnapped, beaten, had
his memories altered, the whole spicy enchilada! You can't sit
there and tell me that that's not going to be in the back of
Damien Omega's mind!
MT: I'm not sure what's on Chitlin's mind, but the man looks like
he's seen a ghost.
(As Damien Omega enters the ring, Hoss Tumbleweed goes after him as
BMC leaves the ring, haliburton in hand. Hoss gets a couple of hard
forearms across the back of Omega, followed by some fists. He whips
Omega to the ropes, but as Hoss lifts his leg on the rebound, Omega
stops short, hooks the leg, and pulls Hoss over with a hard legdrag
takedown that looked stiff due to Hoss's weight and his impact with
the mat.)
OWL: I think he's just shocked someone came out to face Hoss
Tumbleweed, and trust me, he's not called Hoss just because
he's mean as one.
MT: Tumbleweed wasting no time in going after Omega as referee
Geordi O'Brien is tied up getting Chitlin' out of the ring.
You're right, Hoss is 6 and a half feet plus, both tall AND
wide, and he's gonna be a hard man to bring down.
OWL: I know I'm right. That's why I get paid more than you.
MT: Hoss sends Omega to the ropes, looking for the big boot...
Omega stops and a DRAGON SCREW on Tumbleweed, sweet heavens,
there wasn't the velocity you normally get out of the dragon
screw legwhip, but Hoss did NOT come down comfortably on
that knee.
OWL: Did you see that, Tait! Omega punched him in the jimmies as
he went over.
(Omega stands behind Hoss and waits for him to get up. He then
executes a back brain kick on Hoss that sends him down to his knees,
then another one to finally get him face first on the mat. He
looks to the side where he sees BMC jawing with a ringside fan and
clips BMC with a baseball slide dropkick, sending Chitlin into the
railing.)
MT: HE DID NOT! Stop telling the fans at home things they
don't see for themselves.
OWL: But I'm trying to be fully descriptive. Mr. Chitlin has a
lot of fans in the blind community that might be listening
on radio tonight. He's a legend and an icon to the sightless.
MT: Chitlin isn't blind.
OWL: Please, the only person in Atlanta that's blinder is your
girlfriend!
MT: Omega with a hard enziguri kick that brings Hoss down
to his knees, back up, and ANOTHER ONE plants him
facedown on the mat! Omega's sure not backing down!
OWL: Man, I don't want to be Omega when Hoss finally gets his
footing again. There's one thing you don't do to a cowboy,
and that's make him look bad in front of the fans. *BIG POP*
MT: OMEGA WITH A BASEBALL SLIDE DROPKICK ON BMC as he was jawing
with a ringside spectator, and Chitlin never saw that one
coming.
OWL: That's because he's BLIND, dummy! I bet it takes you two
and a half hours to watch "60 Minutes."
(As Weed tries to get up, Omega continues to target his leg,
connecting with a chopblock on the leg, followed by a legtrip
takedown that brings Hoss down onto the mat. Omega then cinches in
a half crab for about a minute until Hoss makes it to the ropes.)
MT: Omega proving he's forgotten NOTHING about his history with Chitlin, as he waits for Tumbleweed to get to his feet, and connects with a chopblock to the leg. Omega trying to set himself up for the "Endgame", that Nagata lock.
OWL: Sooner or later Tumbleweed's gonna pull out a big ol' can of..
MT: WATCH IT!
OWL: ...I was gonna say RAID, to get rid of this pesky gnat that
keeps biting at him.
MT: Omega moving into his vast technical repertoire now as he
gets that leg cinched back into a half boston crab, continuing
to add to the damage that was caused earlier with that
dragon screw.
OWL: Meanwhile Chitlin's back up and he's MAD! I guess no one
ever told Omega not to play with the bull unless he wants
the business end of the horns.
MT: Omega has that crab locked in, and this is Omega's style of
match. Methodical, technical. For a while in his last
federation, Continental Wrestling, his outlook spoke out
highly against the proliferation of brawling and hardcore
wrestling. The fans didn't get that then, but I think
he's finally getting the message across. Sometimes you
gotta get down and dirty, but the name on the marquee, as
the cliche' goes, is wrestling.
OWL: And if there's a cliche' to be said, you're sure as heck
gonna say it, Tait.
MT: Hoss managing to pull himself to the ropes, and Omega breaks,
then SLOWLY drags Hoss back to center ring.
(Omega pulls Hoss away from the ropes and kneels onto Hoss' knee a
couple of times. He then crosses Hoss' legs and locks in a scorpion
deathlock)
OWL: That's no mean feat with a man that big. I read in his
bio that during his time off he was living on the Gulf
selling shade for a living!
MT: *CROWD POP* Omega trying to get Hoss turned over into a scorpion
deathlock, Ty Kross uses the elevated version of this move, but
it's no less effective on the ground, and Omega gets it turned
over!
OWL: Besides, he'd need a forklift to elevate Tumbleweed.
MT: So far, other than that opening flurry, Hoss has gotten virtually
NO offense against Damien Omega, while Omega has slowly been applying
pressure to that knee.
OWL: Meanwhile, BMC is hurling every Texas slur he can think of at
Tumbleweed in an effort to get him mad enough to kick it into
gear here.
MT: It may not be enough. BMC is chomping at the bit here to get in
there, but O'Brien is keeping a really close eye on him.
OWL: I'm impressed with the fact that Hoss hasn't tapped yet. He
is QUADRUPLE tough, and can take a lot of pain, but that leg
of his is really starting to get worn down.
MT: Tumbleweed using his upper body strength to SLOWLY drag himself across the ring towards the ropes, that's his only chance at
this point, as Omega may not be AS big as Hoss, but he's big
enough to not be powered out of this hold.
OWL: Hoss is reaching, reaching...and he gets there!
MT: Chitlin pulled him the last few inches to get there while
O'Brien was checking how Omega had the hold in!
(As Hoss pulls himself up again, he is favoring the leg heavily as
Omega moves in, hooks the leg again, and delivers another legdrag
takedown, followed by an elbowdrop right onto the leg. He
then puts Hoss center ring and looks right at BMC as he applies a
figure-four leglock)
OWL: That's what makes Chitlin one of the great criminal minds in
wrestling. He'll wait for that one second moment when the
referee isn't doing what he should have done, which was
keep on Hoss about a submission, and take advantage. Not
that Hoss is going to submit anyways.
MT: He might be close. Hoss can barely get up, that leg has
taken so much damage, as Omega hooks it again and ANOTHER
Dragon Screw, and he holds onto the leg and drops his
entire weight right across that leg, and Hoss is HURT.
OWL: Did you see that! He fell right on Hoss' groin! He had
to have, everything's bigger in Texas.
MT: Omega is back up and he moves into a spinning toehold
position...FIGURE FOUR LEGLOCK! Good God, that's CHITLIN'S
finishing move!
OWL: Is he actually trying to provoke Chitlin? He was looking
right at him when he finished the move.
MT: Hoss is in considerable pain, and Chitlin just HIT THE RING!
And he just tried to clock Omega with that briefcase!
*DING DING DING*
OWL: NOW you've done it, Omega. You've went and ticked off
the Chitlin. I hope this building has disaster insurance.
MT: Hoss is in pain right now and trying to roll out of the ring
as Chitlin is moving in with that Haliburton...*POP* Omega
with a right hand to the gut, and another, as Chitlin drops
the briefcase! He's got Chitlin, and whips him to the corner.
*BIIIIG POP* OMEGA EFFECT!!! Sommersault splash into the corner
and Chitlin staggers out!
OWL: That's not fair! Chitlin was a bystander.
MT: Are you on something, Oliver Lord? Chitlin attacked first. Omega
trying to get that briefcase but Chitlin LUNGED for that thing,
and now he's outside the ring as well, and DAMIEN OMEGA IS THE
ONE LEFT STANDING!!!
(((0))) "It's My Life" (Bon Jovi) (((0)))
OWL: This is not going to end well. I have NEVER seen Blind Melon Chitlin so angry.
MT: Hoss can barely stand. Damien Omega DOMINATED the former VCW World Champion from bell to bell and he needed Chitlin to save
his behind!
OWL: All this means is that Omega better be watching his back, his
front, and all sides. The last time ACTAGON in there ran
afoul of the Chitlin, it affected him for YEARS! What do you
think Chitlin is capable of NOWADAYS?
MT: Look at Omega's face. He doesn't care, he's not backing
down. That was a MESSAGE to BLIND MELON CHITLIN. THAT WAS
THEN, THIS IS NOW! NOT THIS TIME, NOT THIS FEDERATION.
Total Pro's got someone watching its back against Blind
Melon Chitlin Enterprises, and his name is NOT ACTAGON,
IT IS DAMIEN...OMEGA!
(The last shot is a closeup on the face of a determined looking Omega.)
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