Facebook posts so pathetic they belong in this thread!!!

[Swaggs]

I like seeing joint facebook accounts between spouses. I always wonder what the poor guy did to not have the greenlight to have his own facebook account.

[heybrad]

I've seen these question things now but didn't realize anybody could create them. They'll now become the new play for attention. Here's the 'look at me' question I see today.

Should Brittany confirm Matt as her husband on Facebook?

[Young Drachma]

Originally Posted by Swaggs

I like seeing joint facebook accounts between spouses. I always wonder what the poor guy did to not have the greenlight to have his own facebook account.

Yeah, this. "No, you can't talk to your HS sweetheart. I'll be screening all of your internet communication. Give me your email password, too."

[dacman]

I have a couple of buddies in this situation. In both cases it's more of a "you deal with the idiots on facebook (especially in-laws) so I don't have to" situation.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Dark Cloud

Yeah, this. "No, you can't talk to your HS sweetheart. I'll be screening all of your internet communication. Give me your email password, too."

This is what I think of when I see those joint accounts, but I always assume it's the guy's doing, not the girl's.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by sabotai

This is what I think of when I see those joint accounts, but I always assume it's the guy's doing, not the girl's.

I've got probably a half dozen of those, all but one of which is virtually certain to have been the wife's doing.

[Pumpy Tudors]

My wife and I don't even have a joint bank account. She sure doesn't want a joint Facebook account with me. She'd rather not have her name anywhere near some of the savory goodness people post on my wall.

[Young Drachma]

Originally Posted by sabotai

This is what I think of when I see those joint accounts, but I always assume it's the guy's doing, not the girl's.

Yeah I've noticed it only as the women's doing. I do have one guy I know who does it, but it's not joint. It's his wife's and he hates FB and computers (Except for YouTube for MMA videos) and so he just tells folks to add her to stay in touch.

[molson]

It's best to just have a secret facebook account for your old high school girfriends. Keep that shit in one place.

[lungs]

Ohhh.... another one I saw a while back. Two middle aged women arguing about their 16 year old children breaking up.

[Young Drachma]

Originally Posted by lungs

Ohhh.... another one I saw a while back. Two middle aged women arguing about their 16 year old children breaking up.

Wow. That's impressive.

[stevew]

Originally Posted by Swaggs

I like seeing joint facebook accounts between spouses. I always wonder what the poor guy did to not have the greenlight to have his own facebook account.

Yeah, these make me laugh. Unless it's just a family account to post pictures or something.

[stevew]

So I go from not working to having three jobs n contemplating going downtown to finish my bachelors to apply for the PT doctorate program what's wrong with me lol???

sigh. Plus the feedback these "look at me" posts generate is nauseauting.

[lungs]

Originally Posted by Dark Cloud

Wow. That's impressive.

Funniest part was that the teenage lovebirds were back together a few days later.

[Pumpy Tudors]

if you read one post and it piss you off, read two
if you read two post and it piss you off, read four
if you read eight post and get piss off, maybe facebook not the game for you

[StLee]

I didn't know small business was booming so much these days. Approximately 20 of my friends are suddenly using quad-daily Facebook updates to advertise some shit I would never buy. And most of them are selling the same damn things.

One of the latest is from a guy I've known since I was a boy and have been friends with on Facebook since I joined. He may have posted a status update about 10 times total. Now I get this crap all day: "Just drank an Advocare Sparl to keep me energized. That should last me til about 8:00 tonight. It's already kicking in!" Yes, he's selling some kind of "natural energy booster" supplements.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by StLee

I didn't know small business was booming so much these days. Approximately 20 of my friends are suddenly using quad-daily Facebook updates to advertise some shit I would never buy. And most of them are selling the same damn things. ... Yes, he's selling some kind of "natural energy booster" supplements.

Better than the ones selling homemade jewelry, with pitches roughly every hour 16 hours a day. Trust me.

[ColtCrazy]

Another annoying new feature is how you can tag someone when describing an activity you both did together. Something like "I just came back from McDonald's with Amber Smith and Larry Johnson."

My wife did that once, announcing that She had spent a good day with me at the zoo. My full name showed up. I promptly responded that after 7 years of marriage, she can just call me by my first name. She hasn't done that since.

[stevew]

So our vacuum cleaner bit the dust a few days ago. My kids think you can pick everything and anything up with it LOL. We have been so busy with so many things that I told XXXX just pick one up on your lunch. He came home with a DYSON. OMG!!! I cannot wait to vacuum. Who would ever thought I would be excited about a vacuum cleaner.

In other news, he brought her home an elliptical a few years ago. And she still has a fat ass, so I'm not sure how this dyson experiment will work.

[thesloppy]

I must say, I enjoy this thread more than I ever thought I would. And all of your friends and family are massive tools.

[Swaggs]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

I've got probably a half dozen of those, all but one of which is virtually certain to have been the wife's doing.

Same here. I have maybe 4 or 5 and I always think it is the wife.

The oddest one was the guy getting his single account revoked and coming back a day later with the "and" account. It was like he got neutered and needed a day to lick his wounds before requesting to be friends with his old friends.

I especially like when one of them is like, "I love my hubby so much. He did blah blah blah for me." And then they carry on a conversation through facebook about how much they love each other.

[JediKooter]

When God wants to drill & skill a man he first breaks him,ruthlessly perfecting those he royally elects in ways only God understands.He bends but never breaks those he uses."Father we praise you for loving us.Help us understand your desire to break us from relying on anything but you. Help us understand your love.Help us surrender our self-reliance & trust you completely. In your Mighty Name, Jesus!"

*sigh*

[Swaggs]

This is truly a great thread.

And the proof is that no one even did the traditional, "hey Brad!" after the original few posts.

[Lathum]

This was posted by a guy, and it wasn't Izulde

Watching the Royal Wedding has made me emotional and tearful several times today. I'm certain that its because if the most important detail that was missing.... Princess Diana. I loved her.

[JediKooter]

Wow. Let me guess, they're a Twilight fan?

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Wow. Let me guess, they're a Twilight fan?

most likely

[JediKooter]

gear-diary-picard-facepalm-500x328.jpg

[Young Drachma]

String of fifty or so FB status updates within a day all documenting the closing on a house process. This includes a photo of the "mound of paperwork" and complaining about it throughout and ending finally with "it looks like we won't close until Monday."

I get it. It's a big deal. It's frustrating.

But lamenting the process when you'll eventually get it -- and within a weekend -- seems a bit...extreme to me.

[bhlloy]

Had a great lunch with my deer wife.

This one made me chuckle for a good five minutes.

[GoSeahawks]

bestiality is funny.

[Crapshoot]

I assume you folks are familiar with this:


Lamebook – Funny Facebook Statuses, Fails, LOLs and More – The Original

If you ever want to understand how one develops a JIMGA-like worldview, its a good place to start.

[molson]

Originally Posted by GoSeahawks

bestiality is funny.

That's a decent facebook update right there.

[jeff061]

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

[Draft Dodger]

I would rather go through life respecting God and die being wrong, then go through life rejecting God and die being wrong.

not as enjoyable as his work reply-to-all emails defending Jesus when someone makes a crack about Christmas, but still enjoyable.

[JediKooter]

Well, a good start would be if he could correctly use 'than' instead of 'then'.

[GoSeahawks]

This couple has been married for about five years.

"It's my day off and the boys at work. I miss him so much can't wait for him to get home."

First of all, I don't give a shit, nobody does. I can tell nobody cares because you post shit like this constantly and nobody responds. Secondly, 'the boy' is a 30+ year old man. STOP CALLING HIM THE BOY!

[SteveMax58]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Well, a good start would be if he could correctly use 'than' instead of 'then'.

Maybe he was just saying he would like to do them consecutively.

[JediKooter]

That is a good point.

[Draft Dodger]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Well, a good start would be if he could correctly use 'than' instead of 'then'.

believe me, I'm amazed that's the only mistake.

[MrBug708]

And her booty like a pillow, Make it smooth, wanna fluff it. ♥

criminal booty, i can cuff et ♥

today on Maury..Family secrets exposed...I've cheated over 150 times.................yyeeeaaahhhh

I hate having small feet

[Dodgerchick]

"I have never had to ground my kids until today. One week of nothing for Maddy, coming right up!"

So people of course ask her why. Her answer:

"Something very, seriously bad!"

She's had 9 people asking what the hell happened and she hasn't said anything. Really irritating.

[SteveMax58]

Originally Posted by Dodgerchick

She's had 9 people asking what the hell happened and she hasn't said anything. Really irritating.

Probably pooped on the lawn again. That's what the newspaper is for but sometimes they don't get it.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I have a few high school seniors on my friends list (I know them through bowling), and they're really good at putting cryptic Facebook messages up. In fact, here's one from 19 minutes ago:

This is bullshit

She's been posting stuff like this for the past three weeks, and of course just like everyone else, when a bunch of people reply to ask her what's wrong, she doesn't respond. I guess I can sort of excuse it from a 17 or 18 year old, so I won't rant too much about it. I just have a feeling that these kids will grow up to be like the 30 year olds who are doing the same thing on Facebook. The bad habits are starting already.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

when a bunch of people reply to ask her what's wrong, she doesn't respond.

My experience with that kind of thing with teens on FB is that most of the people who need to know what prompted the remark already know. Often as not, statements like that are more along the lines of the venting that happens here, just in shorthand form.

[Pumpy Tudors]

I'm sure you're right, Jon. That thought did sort of occur to me, but I ranted a little bit anyway. Just saw this update from a different teen:

Babysitting because I'm a nice person. Kinda pissed. I better be able to hang later or shot is going to hit the fan!!! Text!

[Dodgerchick]

:'(

That's it, just a sad smilie face

[molson]

I saw somebody complaining about all the weddings they have to go to this spring and summer. When a lot of those "nuisances" getting married are their friends on facebook. Can you imagine getting married and seeing your friend publicly complaining about having to go? I'd do them a favor and rescind their invitation.

[EagleFan]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Wow. Let me guess, they're a Twilight fan?

Lathum's a Twilight fan....

Just sayin'

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by EagleFan

Lathum's a Twilight fan....

Just sayin'

errr, no, no I'm not

[Radii]

Dammit! I defriended first without copying the status updates here first. Someone I knew in high school updated her facebook page seven times last night after the Osama news. She changed her profile picture to George W Bush, made two posts thanking W for going after terrorists, a third post referencing comments W made that were played on Fox News, referring to him as our best president and wishing for better times. Post #4 referenced Obama and how he deserves no credit for this, it was all W. Posts #5-#7 were about the possibility that "the cowards on the left" might treat his remains with respect for his religious beliefs, with each post getting more graphic regarding the joy she was getting out of the idea that sharks and fishes were tearing his flesh off his body if he was dumped into the sea.

I was a little more than mildly disturbed taking the entire group of postings together, instant de-friend.