YAHD---Everyone panic! The Crawfish have lasers!!!

[The Afoci]

The Truth Behind Marmel

As the party continued to rage on, The Afoci stumbled drunkenly into the secret hideout not so far from The New Fighting Crawfish Arena. Having to pee so ungodly bad, he fights his way into the bathroom to find Marmel. After peeing, missing him mostly, The Afoci and Marmel begin to speak.

"When is the game?" asks Marmel "I think you have a good chance to beat the Cheesecake at home. I want to cheer you on!"

"Umm..." says The Afoci "We lost the game already, that was 5 weeks ago."

"Damn" replies Marmel "That sucks. Hey, I am out of vodka. Lets go get some more..."

They both stumble up and walk towards the bar area of the secret hideout. Marmel grabs another 1.75L of his favorite vodka as The Afoci loads the anti-glaucoma machine with a bright green leafy substance. After taking a few puffs along with a few drinks, they get back to talking.

"So how’s the squad been playing recently?" asked Marmel.

"Pretty good, we won 3, tied 1 and this week is our match of the season!" says The Afoci "How is your team doing?"

"What?" says Marmel "That is real!?!"

"Yeah" says The Afoci "You own a soccer team!"

"Damn" says Marmel "I have been high too long, I thought I imagined that. Am I gay? Soccer is gay? Why am I gay?"

"You aren't gay?" says The Afoci "Chavez "the dope finding" Dog says your cleanly shaven and only put the finest Jif peanut butter."

"How does that prove that I am not gay?" asks Marmel.

"I don't know?" says The Afoci "I just don't know..."

Marmel begins to cry.

"Don't cry Marmel" says The Afoci putting his arm around him. "I don't think your gay."

"I'm not crying about that." says Marmel "I ran out of peanut butter!"

"Thats okay" says The Afoci "We have more. But your team, what will happen with them?"

"I will sell them for peanut butter and then forever be a supporter of the Crawfish!" says Marmel "Allow me to be a general in the army of the Crawfish!"

"Umm..." says The Afoci "Sure..."

The Afoci sits wondering what to do with Marmel now as he has no army of Crawfish yet.

"How about you can be assistant coach?" asks The Afoci.

"I don't know anything about soccer, though" says Marmel.

"Either do I" says The Afoci.

"Okay then" says Marmel.

So it was set, on Friday 6, 2003, Marmel forever joined the Fighting Crawfish as an assistant coach and future general of the army of Crawfish!

[Marmel]

WOOHOO! Can I make the players run laps? I like that.

[The Afoci]

The party rolls on....

First in is mckerney's Art Frazier and Kalle "Waste of $15000 even though he's valued more than six times that" Trandahl. They were followed in by Aesyrqwe's David Dewitt and Jerald Obrien. Next came robbgmaier's Oriol "double stuff" Villaver and Elijah "the prophet" Dupree. The place was getting crowded as Qwikshot's Travis "John Philip" Sousa, Havok's Vlad "The Impaler" Nutiu, AKnightofNi, and illinfan999's Richard Mcgowan. All these people enter the party, grab some beverages, attempt to cure glaucoma and start to hear a buzz in the background. The tension in the place builds to a feverish pace. Ladies panties are starting to litter the grounds. Men are putting lub down their ass cracks just in case. What could all this mean....
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Another mean sounding 80's guitar riff
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Yet another mean sounding 80's guitar riff
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The lights on the stage start flashing and people start to converge on the stage
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POUR SOME SUGAR ON LOVE, mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble mumble, YEAH, POUR SOME SUGAR ON LOVE

As the lyrics to a song sung by a hearing impart big cat blare out the speaker, the crowd realizes what is about to happen. They are about to witness the greatness of a legend so legendary that legends are now made because of it. The smell of horrible cologne, the glimmer of gold chains, the sight of zubaz's, the finest avaitor glasses ever, means only one thing!

Hornsmaniac_2!

The crowd errupts into cheers and the song blares out of the speakers. Unsure of the words he mumbles until he screams "POUR SOME SUGAR ON ME!".

"Okay, thank you, thank you" starts [b]Hornsmaniac_2 "Quiet down folks."

The crowd quiets, anticipating what he is about to enlighten them on!

"Many of you have followed my time tested techniques to getting more shemale tail" he starts. "Many of you are no much cockier and much funnier because of my teachings. I also notice some of you have picked up some techniques from my last book, because I see alot of guys ready with the lub already in the crack. No more suprises. Being on the wrong end of a shemale/male relationship with out lube is a mistake you only make once, and I am glad you have all learned from my mistakes! But I am here to announce that this week is perhaps the greatest week I have ever had while working with the Crawfish. We had numerous people take my teachings and brought themselves to a new playmaking level. Let me introduce the 2 newest "solid" playmakers!"

Cheers from the crowd errupt as Enrico Jimeno and Teddy Carney step up to the stage.

"Enrico Jimeno has been one that has been in the program a while, since the start and has followed everything to a letter" says Hornsmaniac_2. "Its finally paid off as you are solid. Teddy "I used to be a" Carney on the other hand just came up from the youth squad. In only one week, he achieved the highest level of playmaking a Crawfish has ever achieved. Lets give them a hand!"

As the cheers roared through the place a small light could be seen from the sky. It was heading towards the crowd. As it drew closer, it became more and more obvious who and what it was. It was none other than Crawfish legend, "You better guard your daughters or they will be" Les "thier "Cherry"s" and a special female friend who just joined the mile high club with him well skydiving and also joined the herpes club. She was more happy about the first than the second, but you take the good with the bad.

"I may only be a weak playmaker" says "You better guard your daughters or they will be" Les "thier "Cherry"s", "But when I infect you with my love, you will feel the pain. And so do our oppents. Here is to scoring a goal on the Cheesecake!"

The crowd screams and the party resumes. They party into the night and early morning.

After stumbling to the bus and prepare for a match of the season against the toughest team to ever be in V77.

God Speed Crawfish, God Speed...

[Poli]

Originally posted by The Afoci
Nope, but if you want any to come, just post a list. Please try to limit it to two. Hopefully I will be able to work them in by the end of the week.

Jerome Bettis, followed by Dave Sumner. No magic kool-aid.

[The Afoci]

Give me some Cheesecake, Baby!

Weather conditions were fairly good for football, and FC Cheesecake Arena saw a crowd turnout of 20000. Cheesecake had chosen a strategic 3-5-2 formation. They fielded: Buckley - Sanford, Littlefield, Günzel - Schroeder, From Nielsen, Thomes, Preda, Fraza - Hartbom, de Geus.

Fighting tactics involved an interesting 3-5-2 combination. They fielded: Holt - Lyon, de Oliveira, Simic - Hager, Danielsson, Kline, Woodson, Rossi - Rannem , Meldi.

Guido Günzel behaved like an inexperienced youth player in the 6:th minute as he gave the ball away to an opponent. Lucky for him though, there was no goal as many Crawfish players appeared more interested in snacking than playing. A badly positioned defensive formation on a free kick in the 19:th minute led to Fighting´s Ivar "Why can't my name be Ivan" Rannem giving the visitors the lead 0 - 1. Fighting´s Ivar "Why can't my name be Ivan" Rannem received a play slashing through the home side´s defense like a dogs tongue through Jif Peanut Butter in the 22nd minute, chipping it past the keeper scoring 0 - 2. The home crowd was not pleased with that one as he did naked cartwheels to celebrate revealing open sores. The structure of the game started to change as Fighting decided to pull back and meet their opponents in the defensive zone mainly because they were to drunk to run most of the field. Fighting increased the lead to 0 - 3 as Ivar "Why can't my name be Ivan" Rannem scored from the penalty spot, putting the ball in near the top left corner. By then Ivar "Why can't my name be Ivan" Rannem was a three time scorer - a hat trick! 0 - 3 was the half-time score. Fighting, bringing the final ball possession rate to 51 percent, dominated the battle.

After the ball got lifted in from the left Rafael Maria Meldi was on his own in the home side´s penalty area 52 minutes into the game, and should have scored, but missed, probably due the twinkies he was carrying on the field. Man, what a shot by Rafael Maria Meldi! Firing from 35 yards he didn't give the enemy goalie a chance and it was 0 - 4. No one team arose to dominate this half, ending in a deadlock and lots of Crawfish on their sacks.

The most dominating Cheesecake player was without a doubt Wade Buckley. However, Leontin Preda made a disastrous appearance. Most important Fighting player was Tommy Holt. Mike Hager was a disappointment, however. The match ends 0 - 4.

Notes

Marmel first game as an assistant coach was the biggest victory in Crawfish history. Youth Pull Mike Hager who is 18 and passable stamina and playmaking played as a winger towards the middle because of Chris Gaines card suspention.

This victory is bittersweet though as Cheesecake drop out of autopromotion for this week. Hopefully they do promote and get out of here. For this game they had 2 injuries, one was a 3 1/2 star middie. One hope though is that I win out, The Orcs beat the Cheesecake in week 13 and I promote. Who knows though?

[Marmel]

It is those extra laps I made them run. They were in better physical shape.

Can you help me with this glaucoma.

What is a promotion? Is the season over? I was planning on vacationing in Georgia, I hear they have peanut farms, and peanuts are needed to make peanut butter, and peanut butter is smooth and creamy.

[The Afoci]

Just a small hattrick update. The site is down now, but I won 3-0. My youth pull sucked ass and has yet to be tortured...

I was able to check some stuff this morning and it is looking scary. The Orcs, a team which I believe daytrades, has finally caught on to the whole midfield thing and abandoned his defense and offense kick. He went from putting up a poor midfield as his best to an inadequate. Now with me beating the Cheesecake and being only 2 points behind them, with only easy games remaining and the Orcs and Cheesecake at the Orcs place in 2 weeks, there is a small chance I could win the division. At first I didn't want this, but seeing how it is getting tougher in this division, I have come to the conclusion I would rather be beat in DIV the DV. Go Crawfish...

When the party bus comes back to Fargo after a short trip to pick up some Canadian glaucoma medication, the saga will continue...

[The Afoci]

A Tragedy...

My latest Youth Pull killed himself late last night. He had heard rumors of what may be done to him and he decide this would be easiest. Don't worry, I won't let it happen again...

A boy, his hand, an unopened condom, anti-glaucoma medication, and at home pregnancy test...

As the boy named Jesus was stealing hub caps from local cars, there was one boy who wasn't. His name was The Afoci. He was an ackward boy of 17. His room didn't have the posters of Baywatch babes or ladies at all. It had many of Crawfish though, with odd sketches of Laser Blasters instead of Claws.

The Afoci was aroused by thoughts of power and ladies throwing themselves at him as he was flanked by guards of Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws. As it is now said, he would get mad ass, ass like boy bands only it would be female ass. Moving on, The Afoci saw the box of unopened condoms that was a birthday present from his grandma, because she didn't want some little slut to make her a great-grandma, it was tough enough being just a regular grandma. He decided now was not the time to use them. He looked to the bag of green leafed medication that would ensure he didn't have any eye illnesses for many years, and grabbed it. After using what could be described as a chemistry experiment gone completely wrong, he lying face down loving his right hand as no women he hadn't paid had loved him before.

As any man knows, disposal of DNA can be a tricky thing to do, and he felt that his protein intake for the day was fine and he couldn't think of what to do with this goo that had now appeared on his hand.

The Afoci looked down at what could have been his children and wondered it they were decieved and pissed at his deception. They were created for the purpose of procreation and now he had spoiled what chance they had. The Afoci thought that perhaps on a toiled seat they could have a chance, but explaining that to his mother that these girls he was trying to get to pee on the toiled was strickly for procreation would be difficult, nearly as difficult as convincing her to use a bucket out of fear of creating a half brother/son man/boy beast. He decide against it, but did want to see one thing. But as The Afoci tried to do this, his mother was heard coming up the stairs and he turned to find someway to dispose of the mess of him and struck his hand on a dresser.

The Afoci screamed out in pain as he had cut his hand right below the mess of goo and some had leaked into the wound causing a burning sensation similiar to that he had after the time he paid for sex.

Now destiny works in funny ways, because his mother wasn't coming up the stairs and no one was coming up the stairs. It was heaven telling him its time. Time to be a father. Now you are probably wondering how one can become a father with himself, let me explain...

The Afoci was able to clean his wound and clean the goo from his hand when he discovered that he had indeed done what he hadn't tried to do. His hand swelled in a fashion similiar to that of those who are carrying a baby. But a baby what you may ask. A baby finger. He was about to become a six fingered freak or and 11 fingered freak or a 9 finger, 2 thumb freak depending on how you look at it. But a freak none the less. Now being The Afoci is against abortion, why waste someone you could test Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws on, he figured he would carry it to term. Plus the thoughts of an extra finger lead to many interesting love options. Perhaps he would be able to do things with an extra finger that his hand can't even concieve yet. But it had concieved a new finger.

After 10 minutes and no birth, The Afoci became very anxious. He went and purchased and at home pregnancy test. He tried the first one in the bathroom at the gas station, but being an at home pregnancy test caused the first one to be a waste. He bought another and went home. After pissing on his hand and the test in one good shot, he found out he wasn't pregnant with is finger.

The Afoci sad, yet relieved decided that he must move on. He would have many more chances to have an extra finger and enhance his boy to hand relationship. Using hand puppets as roleplay items was something he would develop and use to excess in his lifetime. But never again would this boy feel so close to adding to himself...

He still wakes up some mornings and sees an extra finger, only to see it disappear as soon as it appeared. He even finds himself checking to see if he missed it after an exceptionally good boy to hand love session. He has yet to find it...But he keeps looking as hard as he keeps searching for the secret of Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws...

[Marmel]

Ummmm.....after reading that one, I am considering resigning my post.

[The Afoci]

The Crawfish don't play well with others...

A week after the evil North County Raiders slip by with a 5-1 heartpounding affair, the Crawfish friendly/party squad loses again 4-0. Hopefully the offseason stamina training which is ironicy done by Marmel. I say ironically because he could use some work on his stamina according to Chavez "the dope finding" Dog. And as Andy Dick says in Old School, that is now why Chavez "the dope finding" Dog has a lazy eye.

The Sun Over Fargo

With the sun rising over Fargo and The New Fighting Crawfish Arena, the men approach the playing field. Coach is already out there with Number Two and new assistant coach and head of the Peanut Butter distribution portion of Crawfish Enterprises, INC, Marmel. The team can sense that the attitudes have changed around here. Especially since beating the Cheesecake. To go with that, The Orcs, have finally started to develop a midfield and have go inadequate ones 2 games in a row. If they are able to beat the Cheesecake at their place in two weeks, the unimaginable could happen. The Fighting Crawfish could be in division IV. This would definately be a year too soon, but the team is excited about the possiblity.

The new young midfielders are practicing some playmaking drills on the newly bought blowup dolls when The Afoci calls Marmel, Coach and Number Two over.

"As you all know" starts The Afoci "We are facing one of the biggest chances that the Fighting Crawfish have ever had. We could actually move up. This would mean more funding towards projects that currently aren't recieving the funding necassary for advancement in it. But either way, I have started a topsecret project that I want to inform you all about. Marmel."

"Yeah" he replies.

"I am going to give you the lead position on this new project" The Afoci continues. "You will have to guide them and watch to make sure nothing goes wrong. What I am proposing is the first offensive phase in the battle to take over the world with Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws. By the end of next season, whether we are already in DIV or about to promote, the world will know of the Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws and they will fear them. My life long dream is nearing completion and with its creation, the offensive will begin."

The Afoci continues to tell them about his idea of the Year of the Crawish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws and that they are nearly complete with the first fully functional Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws. He tells them about a top secret mission that they will be carrying out today. They are going to invade a rural location and test out the capabilities of the test Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws. They will each have 4 Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws and will have to overcome 4 different, but equally challenging tests set up by The Afoci's top military advisors, the drunk bum who is 28 who claims to be a WWII vet.

Let the battle begin

With the sun at there backs, The Afoci, Marmel, Coach and Number Two walk over a hill flanked by the most beautiful sight in the world, Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws. These massive beasts are each 6 inches tall and walk nearly upright. Two things that Coach wishes he had. The mission was simple, get to the farm house. Once there, secure it, handle the "locals" and begin the process of propaganda that would cause them to fall in love with the idea of following The Afoci and his Army of Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws. Coach was to go first. His mission the easiest, but one of the most important. He was to scan the surronding area to ensure their were no reserves waiting to sneak attack and to ensure that the main attack force could focus on the house.

"Men..." starts Coach "Urrr, um, I mean Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws, move out."

The travel down the hill and begin to approach the woods to the east.

The Afoci has now lost visually contact and tries the radio.

"This is Grand Master of Funk and Fury" says The Afoci, "Status update?"

"This is Mr. Bagel" says Coach "All clear, about 50 yards from the trees."

The radio goes silent. But only for a moment. "INCOMING!!!!!!" screams Coach into the radio as the remaining three now look around "We got Black Birds, at least 50 of them coming right for us. ARM YOUR LASERS BOYS, GIVE THEM HELL!!!!"

The sounds of Laser Blasts can be heard and seen in the distance. "I am hit, I repeat, I am hit, Mr Bagel has been wounded!" screams Coach "One of the Black Bird Bombers got me on the head and I have been shot in the ass by a Laser. It is very painful, but I am okay. We lost one Crawfish to a malfunction and one to me stepping on it after it shot me in the ass. But the black birds have been defeated and retreated away. All clear here, proceed with caution boys, Mr Bagel out.

The Afoci addresses the other two and tells them to clear their minds of what has just happened and to stay focused on the goal. Number Two was up next, his mission was to focus on the barn and do some recon on the house from his new found position.

As he started, flanked by 2 Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws on each side of him, he approached the barn. Again as he went out of sight, The Afoci called for a status update. "All clear here" says Number Two "Mr. Stinky Finger out."

A few more minutes pass and The Afoci calls for another update. "I am just about done interrogating this donkey, I don't think he knows anything" says Number Two "Even the Mr. Stinky Finger finger of death didn't do anything to break his silence."

After the all clear is given, Marmel heads out and is to get to the house and wait outside. He is to inspect all perimeter defenses and insure that the only threat that remains is in the house. As he approached the house, Marmel say the sign he had hoped to see the entire mission. BEWARE OF DOG!. A feisty one, he liked them feisty. He checked his pocket and the peanut butter packet was secure.

"Captain I do it the really doggie style because it involves dogs not humans, status report?" asks The Afoci.

"All clear so far" starts Marmel "I think my name be to long, I will work on that for the next mission."

"CRAWFISH DOWN, CRAWFISH DOWN, WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!!!!!" screams Marmel as the radio is dropped and all you can hear is him screaming commands and the blasts distinctively from Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws.

The Afoci begins to run to the house and calls in the others to support the attack on the house. By the time he arrives, it is a grim scene. Number Two forgot to pull his pants up and tripped coming out of the barn and knocked himself out. Coach too injured from taking one in the ass, was too far out to lend any support, so The Afoci knew it was up to him, and only him to save Marmel. He ready his men and lead the charge around the house and towards Marmel's last known position. All he say was the bodies of Marmel's 4 fallen soldiers. He knew what had happened and he was the only one that could remedy the situation. Marmel had been captured. He was being held in the house and he had to force them out. The Afoci found the entrance to the house and sent in 2 Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws to scout the place out. Within minutes the sounds of Laser Blasts could be heard and then they went silent.

What had happened? Where the dead? Did they defeat who ever was holding Marmel?

The tension was building in The Afoci. He then charges into the house to discover his two Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws guarding the room Marmel is being held in. Marmel curled in the corner crying uncontrollably and tuns to The Afoci.

"I was just trying to get some quiet time after we were attacked by a pack of dogs" starts Marmel "I had fought off the first round of attacks with 3 losses and when the turned to come finish us off, we set up in the wounded duck formation and prepared to hold our ground. But as they were only 10 feet away, this wonderful dog scared them away and nearly was able to save my last Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws, but couldn't. Out of gratitude, I offer it some peanut butter and then your thugs killed her. I actually had a female dog!"

The Afoci hugged Marmel and tried to calm him down. They gathered what they had and returned to the top secret hide out not so far from The New Fighting Crawfish Arena. In review, they lost 6 Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws, Marmel lost someone he thought could be the future Mrs. Marmel, Number Two knocked himself out after trying to expose himself to chickens figuring he would "look huge". He was wrong. Coach had bird shit on his face and took one in the ass. Overall, I would say the mission was a success. Keep up the good work boys!

[Marmel]

Originally posted by The Afoci

The Afoci hugged Marmel and tried to calm him down. They gathered what they had and returned to the top secret hide out not so far from The New Fighting Crawfish Arena. In review, they lost 6 Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws, Marmel lost someone he thought could be the future Mrs. Marmel, Number Two knocked himself out after trying to expose himself to chickens figuring he would "look huge". He was wrong. Coach had bird shit on his face and took one in the ass. Overall, I would say the mission was a success. Keep up the good work boys!

Cannot stop laughing.

[The Afoci]

Just an update, there is now a poll on what you would like to have more of in the dynasty. It is in the dynasty poll forum. Vote early and often!

[The Afoci]

Small training update, no bumps and decent form.

[The Afoci]

Welcome the newest Crawfish

Here is my most recent Youth Pull. Let me tell you, I have nothing but love for my Youth Squad as of late. Lets hope some of this luck continues into early next season so I can make some serious cash and fund my drive to conquer the World!!!! Or just promote?

Taylor Singletary
17 years, passable form, healthy

A pleasant guy who is balanced and upright.
Has disastrous experience and inadequate leadership abilities.

Nationality: USA
Assessed value: 77 000 US$
Wage: 860 US$/week
Owner: Fighting Crawfish
Warnings: 0


Stamina: inadequate Goaltending: disastrous
Playmaking: passable Passing: weak
Winger: inadequate Defending: weak
Scoring: weak Set Pieces: disastrous

He will play my winger towards the middle slot in the upcoming game.

Vienna AC

A scorching day at DIRTWEARMALL.COM Arena, where 21000 spectators were in place for today´s match. Coyotes had chosen a strategic 4-4-2 formation. Lineup: Culver - Mcguire, Madden, Säflius, Collins - Nilsson, Davis, Bagwell, Bech Jensen - Tait, Wilburn.

Fighting had chosen a strategic 3-5-2 formation. The following players had been chosen: Holt - Lyon, de Oliveira, Simic - Uddstad, Danielsson, Kline, Woodson, Singletary - Rannem , Darden.

Some beautiful plays on the left side of the field resulted in a 16:th minute goal by Dean Wilburn for Coyotes, putting them ahead 1 - 0. Coyotes put themselves up 2 - 0 when Dean Wilburn broke through on the right, leaving the entire defensive box behind him. Coyotes put themselves up 3 - 0 when Dean Wilburn broke through on the right, leaving the entire defensive box behind him. By then Dean Wilburn was a three time scorer - a hat trick! Coyotes put themselves up 4 - 0 when James Tait broke through on the right, leaving the entire defensive box behind him. After this Coyotes lowered the tempo in order to concentrate on their defensive efforts. Also featured in this minute was the Fighting Crawfish taking the field. In the 27:th minute Coyotess Russell Mcguire received a yellow card for going into a challenge studs first. The teams went for a half-time break at 4 - 0. The fortyfive minutes were dominated by Coyotes, with an impressive 51 percent possession of the ball.

A bit later Fighting´s Ivar "Why can't my name be Ivan" Rannem easily reduced to 4 - 1 after a misunderstanding in the home sides central defense line when they discovered they all had Crawfish attached to their sacks! With 60 minutes played Long Bagwell could have brought this one home for Coyotes, had his hooked ball gone in, but it went just a bit too high. After 60 minutes Coyotes´s Long Bagwell contracted a STD, but could finish the game. A bit later Fighting´s [b]Ivar "Why can't my name be Ivan" Rannem[/b[ easily reduced to 4 - 2 after a misunderstanding in the home sides central defense line. Russell Mcguire of Coyotes got sent off for kicking the ball after the whistle, a completely uncalled for move, earning him his second yellow card of the game. Dean Wilburn should probably have put his team up another goal in the 78:th minute, but some great goaltending by Tommy Holt kept the visitors in the game. The fortyfive minutes were dominated by Coyotes, with an impressive 53 percent possession of the ball.

Most important Coyotes player was Bennie Madden. Alfred Culver was a disappointment, however. Most important Fighting player was João Fernando de Oliveira. Dragan Simic was a disappointment, however. The match ends 4 - 2.

The Wrap Up!

What the hell just happened? I am assuming that I got MOTS. I have no idea why they would do that, they wouldn't help themselves much with a victory and a loss didn't do much either. My team spirit is still crappy after my MOTS, so maybe they played normal and had a good game. They do have the biggest game of their season this week as they are tied with the 4th place team, but down on goal diff. Anyway, this ends any hope I had at promotion and now I am hoping for a Cheesecake over Orcs victory this week. Get the Cheesecake out of here and I will deal with the Orcs next season.

Tell me what you want!

Just to update, my poll on what people want to see out of this dynasty hasn't got alot of feedback. It could mean you are all bored of me, scared of me, or just don't care anymore. Or you just don't look at the dynasty poll section. Anyway, this was prompted by my manager telling me that I jump around too much and have gotten too far away from hattrick. So if you have any suggestions on what I should do, you can post them there or here. Just tell me what you think the best parts are, and I will try to stick closer to those.

[The Afoci]

The Afoci was seen walking around the complex confused today. One thing was from the previous nights friendly. A 3-3 tie in which The Fighting Crawfish dominated possession and had a weak midfield compared to a disasterous one. Another thing that confused him was the fact tha Coach had yet to remove the bird droppings from his face. He keeps insisting he is saving it for later.

The complex has been extremely busy since the first successful tests of Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws. The armies are being assembled. The battle plans are being finalized. The peanut butter is being stockpiled. Soon, oh yes, soon, the world will know the power of Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws.

The rumors amongst the men is that the plan will go into affect shortly after the start of the next season. They will be one year older, one year stronger, and one year closer to death. So who cares if they die early, they were dying anyway.

Marmel and The Afoci are walking out of the Secret Hideout not so far from the New Fighting Crawfish Arena. They are laughing. But what about? What is so funny to both Marmel and The Afoci? What would make the leaders of the army of Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws laugh out loud? Could it be a secret plan to take over the world involving Crawfish with Laser Blaster instead of Claws that would make them laugh? I doubt it. But soon we will all know. Soon, we will know what makes them laugh...

[Marmel]

*Walking with The Afoci*

"Have you heard the one about the Jew, the Italian, and the Crawfish yet?"

*both begin laughing*

[The Afoci]

Damn, that kind of kills the suspense that I was trying to build. But yeah, great joke!

[Poli]

You should send me more updates via email. I can't get in here all the time. That's the only suggestion I have.

Well, that, and if you'd kindly remove this crawfish from my...well, just remove it please.

Also, I've had enough peanut butter. Please quit sending it to me daily. I get the point!

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by ardent enthusiast
You should send me more updates via email. I can't get in here all the time. That's the only suggestion I have.

Well, that, and if you'd kindly remove this crawfish from my...well, just remove it please.

Also, I've had enough peanut butter. Please quit sending it to me daily. I get the point!

I will email you every update. Sorry about the peanut butter, but Chavez has a thing for sailors. Nothing I can do about that.

[Poli]

Perfect. But you forgot about the peanut butter.

[The Afoci]

I am really busy at work, so just some quick updates.

I really hate that I beat the Cheesecake a couple of weeks ago. Why you may ask? Well, I MOTS them and my team spirit has been crap. That with some horrible starter form which I overlooked has lead to two losses in a row to crappy teams. I have third locked up, but had I won these last two matches, plus beat the Cheesecake, I would now be in first place. Oh well.

My YP was a solid playmaker, inad passing, weak winger. He is 19. He has wretched stamina so he needs training there bad.

On some notes for the future, I plan to train stamina after this week. I will probably do that for 3 weeks. Overall, my teams stamina is very poor. I currently have 8 "true" inner mids. I will keep the 2 19 year old ones through any cup run I have next year then sell them off for some true trainees.

I hope to have my first Excellent playmaker next week.

Also, for all the hattrick experts out there, how much does stamina raise your midfield. The Orcs in my division have gone from a wretched midfield to a passable midfield in the last 5 weeks with out any signifigant purchase there that I can tell. Would it make that big of a difference?

This ends my rambling for this morning. Hopefully I will update the dynasty soon. I will be gone from thursday to thursday for some vacation! Should be fun.

[mckerney]

I should have probably told you before the party, Kalle Trandahl hasn't been on the Square Pegs for quite sometime ago. Despite some high ratings he could never put up more than 1 star, so I passed him on to some other unsuspecting fool for 40k. Profit was made, though if you could find a way to kill him at the party, that'd be great.

[Nyarlahotep]

Didn't the party end weeks ago?

[The Afoci]

Originally posted by Nyarlahotep
Didn't the party end weeks ago?

Those are minor details when it comes to killing...

[Marmel]

There was a party? Why don't I remember it?

[The Afoci]

After yet another friendly loss, The Afoci remained amazingly calm. There was a determined look in his eyes as he called Marmel, Coach and Number Two over to him. He speaks to them for a few moments and they all get a suprised look on their faces. After he was done showing them some magic tricks, he revealed that he will be gone for a week and that control of the team is going to Marmel.

With that, The Afoci grabbed a case of peanut butter and Chavez "The dope finding" Dog and headed down to the depths of the secret hideout not so far from the Fighting Crawfish Arena. As many trucks are around the grounds as the last time the stadium was being expanded. But this time, the stadium isn't being expanded. Many suspect they are there helping construct the amry of Crawfish with Laser Blaster instead of Claws! Only time will tell what will happen...

As the rest of the team headed towards practice, Marmel decided he had other ideas. He grabbed some peanut butter, put on his favorite skirt, the one that Chavez "The dope finding" Dog loves the most, and headed to his room. He couldn't find Chavez "The dope finding" Dog though, then he realized, one whole week with out Chavez "The dope finding" Dog.

"NOOOOO" screams Marmel "I need my puppy loving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" It could be heard everywhere, and it struck fear into all players who feared that they may be the next to taste the newest brand of Peanut Butter, Peanut Butter la Marmel.

side note

Until next week folks, enjoy! I will be spending time on the North Shore of Lake Superior for one whole week! My B-Day is July 4th and I will be 23, so shoot some fireworks off for me, everyone else does.

[The Afoci]

Screams fill the air on this damp summer night. The noise errupts from the stadium that now provides shadows for the city. Below this massive structure is what the world not much longer have to wait for, but will have wished would have never come.

A man sits outside the stadium, dirty, his clothes torn, with a sign in his hand. No, he isn't asking for money, there is only one thing on this guys mind. The sign simply states, "The end is near....."

Not nearly as eerie as it may seem, the man is nearly showing the fact that this thread is nearing its end as a new one will be created for the upcoming season and the fact that the roads are closed by the stadium as its shiny new 11000 seats are being installed...

What is causing these screams you may ask? Chavez "the dope finding" Dog is teething and Marmel is a glutton for punishment. I think he likes it...