Worst birthday present ever...

[JediKooter]

A divorce. WTF? Thanks, just what I wanted. You didn't have to, really. Wasn't the best gift wrapping, a text followed up by a long heated phone call.

You said you don't love me anymore. Ok, does it have anything to do with all those phone calls and text messages to someone that is not Jedikooter? 311 (three hundred and eleven) phone calls between the two since May 19 and too many texts to count. Sheese, I know I'm not a very talkative person, but, man, the phones are in my name, show some respect.

I call the number, funny, no one answers. Hmmmm...

And now I'm drunk. Actually, I've been drunk since before this post.

Just venting. Sorry to have wasted anyone's time thinking that maybe I got some jacked up tie or a weight watchers subscription. Sorry, can't think of too many witty things right now. I guess that's what I get for being an atheist.


End of line...

[TLK]

That's horrible.

[Karlifornia]

Yow, dude. Very terrible news. I know we're both in SJ. If you want to meet and have some drinks on me, just send a PM

Sorry, again, dude.

[PilotMan]

And I thought my last birthday was bad. Sorry dude, you can have it. That is terrible. Sorry.

[Radii]

aw shit, WTF Sorry man.

[SegRat]

Very sorry to hear the terrible news.

[Peregrine]

Oh man, really sucks - especially on your birthday.

[Edward64]

Sorry to hear. Hang in there.

[Flasch186]

dude.

[fantom1979]

I came to this thread expecting to compete for the worst birthday present ever. I lose. Sorry man, that is horrible.

[MacroGuru]

Originally Posted by fantom1979

I came to this thread expecting to compete for the worst birthday present ever. I lose. Sorry man, that is horrible.

Same here....I am sorry man...

[terpkristin]

Yikes!
Best of luck Jedi, that's awful.

/tk

[SteveMax58]

This isnt the funny thread I was expecting...sorry Jedi...that really sux.

[PurdueBrad]

Very sorry Jedi, best of luck man.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Consider it a great birthday present. You are a free man. Free from a lying cunt. You should have replied "Thank you. This is the best birthday ever!"

[Bad-example]

[JeeberD]

Ouch, sorry man...

[ISiddiqui]

Yikes! I'm sorry to hear that man

[gkb]

Yeah, that sucks...what a kick in the balls. It probably wouldn't have sucked much less a day after your birthday, but still, she could've waited 24 hours.

[duckman]

That is beyond fucked up.

[Lorena]

[M GO BLUE!!!]

What is it about women that they not only want to hurt us, but crush us and destroy us?

I gave that little bit of advice earlier from experience. I have a friend who came home from work on his birthday expecting a nice dinner with his family. He noticed a friend of his sitting in a car in the street. The friend didn't want to talk. When he walked in the door his wife was standing there waiting. She told him "I'm sick of being a wife & mother. I got married too young. I need to have fun and experience life. I'm leaving you & the kids for (his friend.)"

At the time it tore his gut out, despite the fact that two weeks prior he was complaining to me about her, wishing he had a way to get rid of her & keep the kids. It turned out to be the best gift she could have come up with.

[path12]

Sorry to hear, Jedi.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

A divorce. WTF? Thanks, just what I wanted. You didn't have to, really. Wasn't the best gift wrapping, a text followed up by a long heated phone call.

You said you don't love me anymore. Ok, does it have anything to do with all those phone calls and text messages to someone that is not Jedikooter? 311 (three hundred and eleven) phone calls between the two since May 19 and too many texts to count. Sheese, I know I'm not a very talkative person, but, man, the phones are in my name, show some respect.

I call the number, funny, no one answers. Hmmmm...

And now I'm drunk. Actually, I've been drunk since before this post.

Just venting. Sorry to have wasted anyone's time thinking that maybe I got some jacked up tie or a weight watchers subscription. Sorry, can't think of too many witty things right now. I guess that's what I get for being an atheist.


End of line...

fuck her. sorry man. lying cheating bitches are the worst.

*shaking my head* i'm about convinced to give up on the whole lot of them.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by gkb

Yeah, that sucks...what a kick in the balls. It probably wouldn't have sucked much less a day after your birthday, but still, she could've waited 24 hours.

i wouldn't put it past her to have done it on purpose, to try to "taint" his birthday in his mind.

bitch.

[DaddyTorgo]

hang in there man - we're here for ya

[JonInMiddleGA]

I think deals like this are why the word cunt was invented.

Hang in there JK, you're already one day closer to healing than you were yesterday (yeah, faint faint comfort at best I know).

[Izulde]

If there's a hell, I hope she burns in it. That's one of the lowest things somebody can do.

Sorry it happened, but if she's that much of a cold-hearted bitch, you really are better off.

[chinaski]

Theres always an upside to fucked up situations like this... at least now you know what an asshole she really is and you dont have to waste any more time on her. Anyone who would cheat on you AND break up with you via text and/or phone is also a special brand of trash. Someday you'll look back and be thankful all this happened.

[CamEdwards]

Oh man... I'm really sorry JK.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by chinaski

Theres always an upside to fucked up situations like this... at least now you know what an asshole she really is and you dont have to waste any more time on her. Anyone who would cheat on you AND break up with you via text and/or phone is also a special brand of trash. Someday you'll look back and be thankful all this happened.

especially if you're married and not 16

[DaddyTorgo]

presumably you've already called and had her phone shutoff (since it's in your name).

if it was me i'd also in this situation pull the old "throw a suitcase and clothes out on the lawn for her and tell her to go shack up with whoever is at phone #xxx-xxxx" thing. Or else pack your shit, call and have all services (gas, water, cable, etc) shutoff, and get outa there.

in the future you'll look at this as "freedom day" as well as your birthday

[Oilers9911]

That's cold man. Hang in there. It will get better.

[MizzouRah]

her fucking loss Jedi.. hang in there..

[Sun Tzu]

Fuck that bitch.

[JetsIn06]

Fuckin' bitch.

[DaddyTorgo]

oh, and idk what your financial situation is like, and i know the divorce laws there in california frankly are ridiculous (but idk all the details), but you might want to consult a lawyer and/or a PI and see if there's any way you can avoid having to give the bitch too much since she was clearly cheating on you.

[sterlingice]

Ouch, sorry man.

SI

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

oh, and idk what your financial situation is like, and i know the divorce laws there in california frankly are ridiculous (but idk all the details), but you might want to consult a lawyer and/or a PI and see if there's any way you can avoid having to give the bitch too much since she was clearly cheating on you.

Yeah, time to print out the phone records and record any conversations with that mysterious number

SI

[DaddyTorgo]

CA is usually pretty douchy and it's 50/50 pretty much, but if you can prove infidelity you might have a better shot of coming out ahead

[sooner333]

That sucks man. As for the money issues that people talk about, it's probably time to start going into asset protect mode. It might be 50/50, but you want to make sure it's 50/50 of more assets, not fewer assets because of what she spent in the meantime.

[Fonzie]

[BYU 14]

Total Bullshit, so sorry to hear the news as I know it can be devastating. I know it's cliche, but time will eventually be your friend here and you will find this was a blessing one day. Anybody that would spring this on you on your birthday is not worthy of anything but scorn.

Just hang in there and take it day by day.

[JediKooter]

EDIT: To clarify, my birthday is actually on the 18th, she said that's when she was going to tell me she wants out.

Thanks to all for your support. I just woke, I'm surprised I actually got any sleep.

Wow, I did not expect this many responses. haha.

I guess maybe it would help to give some background...

We would have been married for 7 years in December. She has two daughters that I absolutely love and treat them as if they were my own. My wife and I haven't always had the best marriage and I haven't always been the best communicator or the best husband, I am no saint by any stretch of the imagination. We get into arguments and I don't always say the nicest things to my wife. We don't argue all the time, so it's not like we are constantly at each others throats.

Everything I do, is to make her and the girls lives better. I really don't care about me, I just want them to be happy.

As for the phone number she is calling and text messaging. We have verizon and we have that out of network friends and family plan. That number is on there and the name on there, I know him. He is gay. Gay in the very since that he has a HUSBAND type gay. However, with that friends and family plan, you can assign any to any number that you want. So, if I want to name a particular number, Super Nutz, I can do that. She knows that I know, he is gay and I'm she assumed that I would just think, "oh it's just him, their just girl talking". I would believe that, however, when I compared phone records with emails that we sent between us, the more suspicious I become.

Example: My morning routine during the week is, I come into work and email her and ask her how she is doing, how's her day going so far and that I miss her and love her. This one particular email she sent me after sending my email to her, she tells me that she fell asleep at 8pm and slept all the way through the night. I look at the phone records from that night where she says she fell asleep at 8 and see that she made a phone call to him at 11:54pm for almost an hour. I guess she simply forgot that she was on the phone until almost 1 in the morning and that's why she didn't tell me.

The most common example would be, I would email her and she would email me back saying that she's swamped or it's super busy, but, checking the phone records, she is calling him while at work. Wow, you are either the ultimate multi tasker or you are lying to me. Plain and simple.

So I haven't proven 100% that she is cheating on me, but, the circumstantial evidence is not in her favor.

And I am thinking about cutting her phone off, since I saw on her facebook page that she downloaded the facebook app for Blackberry. Didn't know she had a Blackberry...so I think if I cut her phone off, she will be alright.

Finances, not super complex. We don't own a home, we have no kids together. Just some credit card debt and one vehicle that will be paid off in about 2 years. I am however torn on what to do about 'our' house. I love this house, I would like to keep it because, I never planned on being up in the San Jose area permanently. The rent is 1600 a month in a very good neighborhood. The landlords are awesome, they have never raised our rent once in the 7 years that we have lived here. However, I am paying 700 (utilities included) dollars a month in rent for the shack that I live in up in San Jose. Those two rents are about half a months pay right there. Other than cable/internet and the monthly credit card bills, I have no other financial obligations.

I'm down in San Diego now, thinking I was going to do the super hero thing and 'save my marriage'. However, when my wife found out that I was coming home, she said that she doesn't want to be around me, so I haven't seen her since I've been here.

The kick in the nuts was when I was on the phone with her while stuck in that beautiful LA traffic on a Friday night, was when she said that she didn't love me anymore. You can take all of the broken bones, torn knee ligaments and kidney stones that I've had and multiply them by a million and they still would never come close to hurting as bad as it did when she told me that.

I'll be back up in the San Jose are late Sunday night (have to get back to work on Monday), so maybe sometime next week we (good suggestion Karlfornia) can do something for any of you in the area.

I'll try and answer some of the more specific posts. It's good therapy.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

What is it about women that they not only want to hurt us, but crush us and destroy us?

I gave that little bit of advice earlier from experience. I have a friend who came home from work on his birthday expecting a nice dinner with his family. He noticed a friend of his sitting in a car in the street. The friend didn't want to talk. When he walked in the door his wife was standing there waiting. She told him "I'm sick of being a wife & mother. I got married too young. I need to have fun and experience life. I'm leaving you & the kids for (his friend.)"

At the time it tore his gut out, despite the fact that two weeks prior he was complaining to me about her, wishing he had a way to get rid of her & keep the kids. It turned out to be the best gift she could have come up with.

Sounds like he got the better end of the deal by getting to keep the kids. It is funny how things work out.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by chinaski

Theres always an upside to fucked up situations like this... at least now you know what an asshole she really is and you dont have to waste any more time on her. Anyone who would cheat on you AND break up with you via text and/or phone is also a special brand of trash. Someday you'll look back and be thankful all this happened.

I know time heals a lot of things and sucks now because it's in the immediate aftermath. She says because I got pissy with her, that's why she brought it up, when she was intending to bring it up to me when I was down here for my birthday next weekend.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

presumably you've already called and had her phone shutoff (since it's in your name).

if it was me i'd also in this situation pull the old "throw a suitcase and clothes out on the lawn for her and tell her to go shack up with whoever is at phone #xxx-xxxx" thing. Or else pack your shit, call and have all services (gas, water, cable, etc) shutoff, and get outa there.

in the future you'll look at this as "freedom day" as well as your birthday

I told her to look into getting a new phone because I will be shutting it off in the very very near future. I'm giving her some time (a couple of days actually) because of the girls.

As much as I have been a dick to her at certain times in the past and I would love to pack her stuff up and do that, I just can't. I've been running the whole gammut of emotions, from crying like a huge baby to getting pissed off beyond belief. I'll be 38 soon and I just don't feel like starting over, I was set, I was happy, I was where I wanted to be until the day I died. When I think of my future, I'm just "whatever" right now.

[stevew]

I'd advise going on financial and credit lockdown as quickly as possible. You don't want her to drain your bank account, or max out your credit cards. If you want to be divorced, definitely take the initiative to get things separated as quickly as possible. You don't want her dinging your credit for the forseeable future.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by stevew

I'd advise going on financial and credit lockdown as quickly as possible. You don't want her to drain your bank account, or max out your credit cards. If you want to be divorced, definitely take the initiative to get things separated as quickly as possible. You don't want her dinging your credit for the forseeable future.

Definitely dang good advice. I told her that I wanted all of the user names and passwords to all of our accounts (bank, credit cards, etc...) She said she would do it on Monday and I told her that was unacceptable and needed by tomorrow.

I do not want to get divorced, but, it isn't under any of my control, haha.

[cougarfreak]

Originally Posted by stevew

I'd advise going on financial and credit lockdown as quickly as possible. You don't want her to drain your bank account, or max out your credit cards. If you want to be divorced, definitely take the initiative to get things separated as quickly as possible. You don't want her dinging your credit for the forseeable future.

+1.......start protecting yourself pronto. I got fucked from my divorce in this regard. Start looking out for numero uno. Lady is a flat out bitch.