lungs' Face The Board Answers

[Antmeister]

1. Where did you grow up?
On a farm in the township of Honey Creek, Wisconsin. It's about 30 miles northwest of Madison.

2. What brought you to the FOFC?
I'm not sure. I've played FOF since FOF2, so I'm sure I was looking to see if there were any mods or utilities for FOF.

3. Have you ever played werewolf?
No.

4. Do you have any superpowers?
Not really, I guess I once beer bonged a 1/4 bottle of whiskey. But I was outdone by a friend that beer bonged 1/2 bottle of Wild Turkey and three beers.

5. What do you do for fun? What do you do for money?
For fun, I play nerdy computer games. I am also in a slow pitch softball league and a bowling league. Not to mention countless summer trips to Milwaukee to watch my beloved Brewers. I manage a dairy farm for money.

6. How long do you expect to live?
Depends how badly I beat on my body.

7. What do you look like?
A balding, white, blonde haired, too lazy to shave most of the time 26 year old of Scandinavian/German ancestry. 6'0" 200 lbs. I've got a little gut I'm proud of. I used to be 6'0" 150 lbs. until I worked as a cook at a Dairy Queen. If you can call that a cook.

8. What do you prefer physically in a woman?
Not too skinny, not too fat. A few extra pounds ain't bad at all, as long as there is a rack.

9. How did you get your username?
lungs is a play off my last name (Lundgren) and its most common misspelling (Lungren). It started in high school. Let's just say I took some of the best rips off a bong of anybody around and became commonly known as lungs to most of my friends and acquaintances my age. 10. What sports do you follow? Baseball is my favorite sport by far. My football interest has waned in recent years but I still follow the Dallas Cowboys and Wisconsin Badgers. I follow college basketball some too.

11. Which are your favorite teams?
Milwaukee Brewers Dallas Cowboys Wisconsin Badgers 12.

11a. Why or how did they become your favorite teams?
Brewers, Badgers because I'm from Wisconsin. Now the Cowboys is different. It's a mortal sin in Wisconsin not to be a Packer fan. And I was at one time when I was pretty young. The Packers weren't very good when I first started following football so my older brother and I started cheering for the Cowboys in about 1991. When the Packers got good, they somehow thought there was this big rivalry with the Cowboys even though the Cowboys smoked them every time they met. I guess I like to go against the grain sometimes. I'd probably be a Packer fan in Texas.

12. What do you do for a living?
I am the manager of a dairy farm. It's the farm I grew up on. When I was very young, we had cows, pigs, and chickens but now we strictly produce milk. Basically, I'm in charge of approximately 650 animals on our farm and we contract the raising of 200 animals to other farms. I also am the supervisor to 7 employees, all from Mexico and Nicaragua.

13. Do you have any post-secondary education? if so, where?
My degree is from the University of Wisconsin-River Falls in Dairy Science/Management emphasis. I also have a minor in Agricultural Business.

14. Are you married?
Have a common law partner? No

15. Have kids?
None that I know of.

16. What would you say is some of your favorite music?
I grew up with grunge, so those are my roots, and what my high school garage band played (I played bass). I love the Beatles and a lot of 60's/70's rock. In the past year or so, I've got into some bluegrass/string band type shit like Old Crow Medicine Show and the Hackensaw Boys. I love that stuff now.

17. What would you say are some of your favorite movies?
Major League, Field of Dreams, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Trailer Park Boys: The Big Dirty to name a few.

18. Where were you born?
The local hospital in Prairie du Sac, WI. via c-section.

19. Where have you lived and where do you live now?
I've lived in only two different locales in my life. Prairie du Sac, WI and River Falls, WI where I went to school. Do you have any opinions on the places you have lived in? River Falls was kind of a different college scene. I had fun but was glad to get the hell out of there when I was done. Where I live now is what it is. I really love living out in the country. A lot of reasonable people want to escape the town and area where I live. I make my living here so the best I do is take plenty of vacations to get away. If you let the town consume you, it will.

20. Do you play any sports? Have you played any sports in the past? Are there sports you want to try out?
I played baseball from age 7 until I was 21. I was decent, nothing special. I could bring my heater into the mid 80's on a good day but I was wildly inconsistent. Probably some arm troubles that I never said anything about. My arm has absolutely nothing these days. I was a fair hitter I guess. Ended up as a varsity starter but never tried to play beyond local adult leagues after high school. Hung 'em up at 21 when I couldn't hit over the Mendoza Line in an adult league. I also played football through my sophomore year in high school. I was a decent wide receiver, probably could have started at the varsity level, but I really didn't enjoy the outside commitment like lifting weights and two-a-days. Then they wanted me to join a summer passing league and I told them to piss off, I was playing baseball.

21. Happiest moment of your life?
No kids, not married, so I'd have to say it's between the Brewers making the playoffs this season or my own Legion Baseball team making the state tournament.

22. Saddest moment of your life?
Nothing too traumatic has happened to me. Three of four grandparents are still alive. The one who died lived to be 89. His death was certainly sad, but not unexpected. I guess I haven't had too many downright depressing moments in my life that affect me to this day.

23. If you had to re-live one moment in your life, what would it be?
I'm not sure. A lot of the stupid shit I've done in my life I've learned from. I could go back to a lot of dangerous drug/alcohol situations I've encountered or been a part of that a do-over wouldn't hurt but I'm not one to dwell and wish I could go back and change things. Going forward is what matters.

24. What regrets do you have?
Maybe applying myself more in my education earlier in life. But then again, the education system didn't fit who I am. School was fine up until my adolescent days. I got straight A's for the most part through about 6th grade. School was boring, to tell the truth. There were really no outlets that challenged me and in turn I developed poor study habits and such. So I turned my attention to making some teacher's lives miserable. Some teachers, especially young ones, had a hard time figuring out that a good kick in the ass is what got me going and the ones that gave me that kick in the ass definitely gained my respect. The ones that didn't, I preyed on.

25. Do you consider yourself to be an introvert or an extrovert?
Depends how much I've had to drink. As a rule, males in my family are fairly quiet until they get a few drinks in them and that certainly is true. Not belligerent at all, just more able to express ourselves.

26. What is your favorite catch phrase?
For fuck's sake.

27. What are your top 5 movies?
My top four are up there. I guess put Return of the Jedi on there too.


28. What would you do with 1 million bucks? 10 million?
1 million would go pretty far in upgrading our dairy facilities but it wouldn't get the job done to be state of the art. I could probably get a pretty nice milking parlor (equipment and space where the milking occurs) for a million but that says nothing for the extra cows, housing, and land to spread the manure I'd need.

With 10 million, I'd build a state of the art dairy setup for about 1200 cows. That would probably eat up half of the 10 million. I'd probably put about $1 million into a home. I'd buy an hacienda in Mexico or Nicaragua. I'd invest a fair amount in places other than the farm. I'd give some to local baseball programs and other local causes.

29. You're at a party and as it progresses, everyone strips naked and jumps in the pool, do you join?
If I'm drunk and everybody else is doing it, I guess.

30. What's your beverage of choice?
non-alcholic, milk, of course. Alcholic, I like Old Style for a get drunk beer and some different local microbrews for beer snob beer. Capital Brewery • Middleton, Wisconsin is a local favorite brewery of mine. I also like a whiskey sour, or whiskey coke. Jack Daniels, Wild Turkey and Jim Beam usually. Anything higher end than that, and it's almost a sin of you don't drink it straight. In college, I drank a ton of Old Thompson Whiskey. About as bottom shelf as you can get.

31. Do you have an abnormal fear?
Not that I can think of.

32. What food do you never tire of?
Jack's Frozen Pizzas.

33. What better: vanilla or chocolate?
Twist. Gun to my head, I'd say vanilla.

34. What better: sweet or salty?
Sweet.

35. Favorite YouTube video?
I don't do too much You Tubin'. Computer is hooked up to my stereo system in my living room and I would interrupt the TV sound to listen to anything.

36. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Teleportation. I'd be all over the place.

37. Which bad habits drive you crazy?
The habit to comment on other bad habits.

38. Do you have any annoying habits?
I've got the LeBron James chew your fingernails habit.

39. List 1 thing you would change about yourself.
My skin tone. I'm white as hell. I already see a dermatologist every year for possible melanoma. Been lucky so far, but it's bound to strike someday.

40. What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?
I work every other weekend on the farm so on weekends I work, I pretty much chill. Weekends off I usually sit in the tavern or go to a Brewer game or something. Usually drinking beer though in whatever I'm doing.

41. Do you have any hidden talents?
I can impregnate a cow by sticking my arm up her ass and a metal rod up her vagina.

42. What happens to us after we die?
If I knew, you'd be bowing at my feet. I don't claim to know, but have no problem with people that claim they do know.

43. Would you break the law or lie to save a friend?
Absolutely. I've broken the law plenty of times for much more selfish reasons.

44. Did you ever have a realistic dream that truly scared you?
Yeah, I was lined up about to receive the firing squad.

45. What are you not afraid of?
Others thinking poorly of me. I don't give a shit.

46. Which is worse: rejection or failure?
Failure. It takes one to fail. It takes two to be rejected.

47. What are you hoping for in the future?
To continue improving in my career and learning things from others. I'm fortunate to be eased into a very successful business by my father. He's making me earn my keep, unlike some. A lot of times father-son tensions in a business handover can get very tense. But I'm confident we are doing things right.

On a personal front, we'll see what happens, I guess. I've got friends getting married and having kids and all that, but I'm not in too much of a hurry for any of that. 50% of marriages fail, and I don't care to lose half of what I own since I'll probably be accumulating a fair amount of assets.

48. You are on a flight from California to Texas and the back of the airplane catches fire. You have enough time to make ONE phone call, who would you call?
Ma and Pa.

49. You are at the doctor's office and she has informed you that you have one month to live.. what do you do?
Heroin. And bid farewell to anybody and everybody.

50. Why are SpongeBob SquarePants' parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
Squareness is a recessive gene that both parents are carriers for.

[Antmeister]

51. How is life down on the farm?
For me personally, everything is going great. My dad hired a veterinarian from Colombia before I graduated college with the idea that he'd mentor me for a few years on the finer side of dealing with dairy cattle. I do have my degree in Dairy Science but no amount of classroom study can substitute for actually being among the cows and working with them. So he taught me all nuances of dealing with cows for the last 2 years. So even though I was the owner's son, I still technically had to answer to somebody other than my father. This guy got married (to an absolutely gorgeous Colombian woman) and decided to move home to Colombia. I was deemed prepared by my father and in actuality, I was kind of chomping at the bit earlier this year to my dad about maybe nudging my mentor out the door. Thankfully, he planned all along to go back to Colombia permanently.

So now, I'm the patron, as they would say in Spanish. I've been training another guy from Mexico for the last 6 months since we knew this would all be taking place and the transition has pretty much been seamless. My new assistant doesn't have more than a high school education but he has talent with cows. I'm even learning a few things from him. He was a butcher down in Mexico so he said he knows the insides of a cow pretty well. He's also my only employee that speaks both English and Spanish. The rest of my employees speak very minimal English. My Spanish is good enough that I am able to converse with employees fairly well but I do have a solid translator around when needed. My biggest problem is with the Nicaraguan accent. It's tough to decipher compared to the Mexican accent.

As for the business side of things, like most everything else in the economy, we are in a downswing right now. My dad found himself in a bad position on the futures market thanks to a broker. Basically, we have only used the futures market to hedge our prices (ie: put in a contract that will guarantee a certain price for the milk but lose if it goes higher than that). Our broker put our money into a speculative position that milk would go up and the market proceeded to take a shit. That did not help cash flow when we were getting $60,000 margin calls for one day. It's looking like we are going to have to weather some harder times ahead. Thankfully, these hard times are coming off the longest bull market we've ever seen. Dairy farming is all about riding the waves.

52. What do you think of CSA farms/setups?
It's definitely niche. I actually had to look it up to see what the heck you are talking about. It's a good way for small farmers and hobby farmers to add value to their product. I doubt it becomes a significant part of the agricultural industry. But if there is interest, there will definitely be a market for such enterprises.

53. What do you think of "organic" farming?
I'll add a disclaimer to this and say that when I'm going to talk about organic farming, I'm really going to be talking about organic dairy farming. I'm not nearly versed enough in fruit and vegetable produce and stuff like that to comment. I'm not going to say all organic farming is without merit.

But when it comes to dairy, I feel organic is a marketing ploy that has been admittedly very successful in portraying the conventional product as less than wholesome. Unwholesome products can come farms of any type. It's not the type of farm it comes from, it's WHO the farmer is. A bad farmer is a bad farmer across all types of farms. There are bad organic farmers and some very good ones. There are bad conventional farmers and some very good ones.

BGH is the big issue these days. This isn't even an organic vs. conventional debate here. We do inject our cows with BGH. The myth is that it pumps up these cows into super cows that produce more than they are capable of doing. That's not true. What the BGH does is allow the cow to maintain her production for a longer period than she would have otherwise. Any negative health effects you can pull off PETA's site are easily managed via good management techniques. BGH injections are MORE humane if you ask me. Think about it, if a cow doesn't get pregnant, her udder dries up and there is no milk. BGH buys the girl time to get pregnant. If she goes below a certain threshold in pounds per day, we have no choice but to send her down the road to McDonald's. But if she can buy some more time, and finally get pregnant, I can send her out back to hang out for 6 months doing nothing, so long as she has the calf in her. BGH saves more cow's lives than it hurts.

Anyway, got a little off the organic topic there. But I'd say organic is good for a farmer who doesn't want to get big. But I also feel that the whole organic market is based on a lot of questionable assertions and illogical consumer worries. Of course, the consumer does dictate everything, so if in 20 years there is no choice but to go organic, I'd be forced to. But prices would skyrocket due to the inefficiencies of organic farming.

54. Who is your FOFC nemesis?
I haven't made much of an impact at FOFC, much less have a nemesis. There are plenty of people I think are tools, though.

55. What exactly is "my car"?
A reference to the Canadian TV Show "Trailer Park Boys" where one of the main characters lives in his car. I always joke with friends that if times get tough, I'll just move into my car.

56. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings?
Neither.

57. Invisible or Invincible?
Invisible

58. Give birth or get kicked in the balls?
The vagina was made to take that kind of abuse. Our balls weren't.

59. What's something weird about yourself?
Probably that I stick my arm up a cow's ass almost every day. Is that weird enough?

60. If you were to be rejected by EHarmony, what would it be for?
Other

61. Your mom or mine?
Mine.

62. What's your favorite beer?
Old Style for mass consumption and most anything from Capital Brewery (linked earlier) for the taste.

63. What's your favorite hard alcohol?
Whiskey... Jack, Jim, Wild Turkey. Any good bourbon straight.

64. What drugs have you done, if any?
I smoke marijuana on a daily basis. I've been smoking for 11 years now. I don't know too many dairy farmers that can say that

I've had a bit of a problem with cocaine at times. I've had two mild fuckups in 2008 in regards to blow, but I haven't had any all night binges that ruin the next week for me since last New Year's which is a marked improvment to the one binge every 3 or 4 months I'd been doing. My goal is to simply not touch the shit again but like any addictive substance, it's easier said than done.

I've eaten mushrooms probably about 8-10 times. I used to grow them back in high school, too.

I've eaten acid once when I was 17.

Never did ecstacy, not my type of drug.

Almost did meth one time. Didn't know what it was, and I wanted some blow so my friend and I were going to go to the twin cities to get some and he called and all the guy said was that he had meth. My friend told me I'd do a line and be up for 4 days and I decided that didn't sound like fun so I said fuck it, take me home.

Almost snorted heroin once. Tricky bastards were calling it China White. A Chinese guy offered me some at a party onetime but he wouldn't elaborate on what it was. So I decided not to do that shit. Unfortunately, I had friend pass away from that stuff a month or two later. Glad I didn't do that stuff.

65. Are you religious?
No. I'm not necessarily anti-religion, but I'm just not religious myself. My mom was Catholic but left the church. My dad is some kind of religion that doesn't have a name and they meet inside houses. It's kind of strange, a lot of them don't have TVs and stuff and are kind of backward. Women are supposed to wear dresses and skirts and all that. My dad is a part of it, but doesn't believe in the bullshit rules, though. He has plenty of TVs and my mom can wear pants.

66. What are the top three things average people don't realize about farmers?
We're not all the same.
We're not all hicks that have never left the farm.
Organizing farmers is like herding cats.

67. Things you enjoy most about farming?
I really enjoy the genetics of taking the cows I have and making them better. It really helps you get to know who your cows are. Even though I have hundreds upon hundreds of cows, I know who most of them are and can even tell you quite a bit about many of the individual cows themselves. Using artificial insemination, I can choose to mate my cows with some of the best bulls from all around the world. We do not have a single bull for breeding purposes on our farm. Improving the genetics of my cattle is definitely what I enjoy the most as it is the basis for everything else I do with them.

68. Things you enjoy least about farming
Late night calls from my employees saying that something "No work" as in something is broken or not functioning. It can be maddening at times but I deal with it.

69. Do you find that other farmers you know share your political views?
No. Most that I know are conservative and I'm pretty liberal. My dad has been a solid conservative but I made him crack and he voted for Obama this time around

70. What kind of farming, because I had no idea about this farm thing?
As stated earlier, dairy farming. I don't have anything to do with crops though. That is a separate company and enterprise that I'm not involved with. So I'm strictly cows.

71. Favorite breakfast? Bacon and Eggs
Favorite dinner? Steak

72.Favorite chain restaurant?
Culver's

72a. What do you order there?
Double butter burger with cheese and nothing else on it in value basket with a Mountain Dew. Chicken Tenders or Chicken Filet on top if I'm going to be stoned.

73. What is your best memory from your birthdays or the holidays as a kid?
Playing with cousins at Christmas, opening new presents and all that fun stuff. Least favorite, even though you didn't ask, was pitching wood into the basement in order to get my presents at Christmas

74. What are the last 10 songs to play on your iPod/internet radio/mp3 player/etc?
Chinese Democracy by Guns'n'Roses. I'm starting to like it.

75. Biggest pet peeve?
Pet Peeves.

76. Biggest FOFC pet peeve?
People complaining about pet peeves.

77. If sex was an Olympic sport, should the gold go to the guy finishing first or last?
Depends what the chick looked like. If she's uglier than sin and gigantic, finishing first for sure.

78. lungs cereal introduced-- what's on the box? what's in the cereal? and what is the cool prize inside?
Just bring back S'Mores Grahams already and that's all I need.

79. Are you sick and tired of hearing the Old McDonald Had a Farm...song?
Haven't really heard it since Kindergarten.

80. What 3 people live, dead or fictional would you like to have a drink/meal with?
1. Rickey
2. Julian
3. Bubbles
(Any Trailer Park Boys fans out there?)

81. Who gets up earlier, the Donut guy ("Time to make the donuts") or you?
My alarm starts going off at 4:30 AM and I'm too the farm usually by 5:20 AM. I don't live on the farm.

82. Is your farm as cool as the Rolofs from Little People Big World?
Haven't seen their farm but I doubt it. A little guy (is that the correct term?) contacted my dad about possibly working for us one time. He was passionate but inexperienced and my dad encouraged him to take a two year short course. The guy did and sure enough a few years later we saw a story on him in an industry publication and he was doing pretty well.

So there is a little people connection to my farm, kind of

83. Has your tractor ever got a John Deer letter?
No John Deere on farm. We drive New Holland's and an odd ball German tractor called a Fendt.

People laugh at the German tractor but don't laugh when they see how they are blowing others out of the water in fuel efficiency.

Europeans are the innovators these days.

84. Do you have a storm cellar?
No, just a cellar.

85. You ever go to a store or place to eat and see something from your farm?
When we sold our milk to the Italian mafia, it went all over the place. Not sure where, but lots of smaller pizza shops in New York and Chicago and chains like Fazoli's.

Now we've switched companies and our milk is made into Swiss Cheese by Brewster Dairy which is based out of Ohio. Our Wisconsin milk is shipped into Illinois and made into Illinois cheese. Blasphemous, I know, but they are the only creamery that wasn't going to try and screw us out of premiums.

86. Are you a 1st generation farmer or is this something that has been handed down to you?
I am 3rd generation. The 2nd generation (my dad) still has a great majority of the stock and he is still the CEO. I guess I'm kind of the COO but I don't call myself that. Day to day manager, I guess.

My dad always jokes that the first generation gets it off the ground and the second generation builds it up. What does the third generation do? Piss it away.

87. Do you like the Beat Farmers?
The what? (Googled it... a band... never heard of them)

88. If you grow stuff on your farm, do you rotate your crops? How often?
A separate company does our crops on owned and rented land. The company is owned by my dad and an employee of over 20 years.

But yeah, they rotate crops. I'm not even sure how often. We pay consultants to figure that shit out

89. Hollywoods portrayals of farmers in movies, acurate or way off?
Somewhat. There are plenty of dirty, backward, hick farmers. They usually aren't that good at farming though and end up pouring concrete or become a farm hand. Pouring concrete is a little better money so usually everybody does that. That's why Hispanics take up all the farm work.

90. Do you have the Farmer's Almanac?
Nope.

[flere-imsaho]

Great read. Thanks!

[MIJB#19]

Fascinating stuff, Lungs!

[JediKooter]

Awesome read Lungs. Thanks for answering my questions.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

"Hal-a-peeno, Ricky."

[lungs]

Originally Posted by Ronnie Dobbs2

"Hal-a-peeno, Ricky."

I ordered ja-lop-uhnno. What the fuck flavour is that?

[DaddyTorgo]

So lungs - how can we get our hands on something that we can say was at least (in part possibly) made using milk from your farm?

Any details? Do you sell any of it to artisan-cheesemakers locally or anything? Or is it all sold to big conglomerates and folded in with a bunch of other farms milk?

[lungs]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

So lungs - how can we get our hands on something that we can say was at least (in part possibly) made using milk from your farm?

Any details? Do you sell any of it to artisan-cheesemakers locally or anything? Or is it all sold to big conglomerates and folded in with a bunch of other farms milk?

Brewster Dairy

That is the company we ship our milk to. It is the largest Swiss cheese maker in the United States. We ship to their Illinois facility, while their company is based out of Ohio.

I'm not sure where Brewster cheese is sold geographically. We get it straight from the plant. I will vouch for the quality of the cheese, and so will the Swiss side of my family.

The excess milk from this company does get pooled into fluid milk, but I'm betting that none of my milk gets pooled into there due to our open use of rBGH.

Interesting that you ask about the cheese because I plan on starting to make some of my own cheese using some of the hybrid cows I have. I'll probably start with some simple mozzarella, and maybe some cheddar from there.

It's mainly my attempt at picking up a new hobby that is extremely convenient for me. But the possibility is always out there that this is an opportunity to add value to my product. Long, long term thinking.

[DaddyTorgo]

cool...cool. luv cheese!

[Toddzilla]

Haven't seen their farm but I doubt it. A little guy (is that the correct term?) contacted my dad about possibly working for us one time. He was passionate but inexperienced and my dad encouraged him to take a two year short course.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! Your Dad rules!

[Mustang]

Jacks pizza?

Good lord man!!

[Antmeister]

Unstickity bump bump

[korme]

Saw that Trailer Park Boys movie. It was funny.