Online dating

[SackAttack]

Originally Posted by RendeR

Isn't that the reality of things anywhere though? HUman beings are amazingly shallow and base far too much on first impressions and physical appearance. I highly doubt that if Telle had actually "seen" me before she felt she really cared about me we wouldn't still be together.

Originally Posted by Telle

Oh bull.

Okay, I'm confused here.

RendeR's comment, if I'm interpreting it right, is basically saying that he and Telle would still be together. Or else he's using a really lousy double negative.

Either way, might want to get that one sorted out, because that was either one hell of a diss by Telle, or she's responding to what she thinks he meant, and there might be a miscommunication involved.

[Young Drachma]

He was saying if she'd seen what he looked like before they'd connected emotionally, she wouldn't have been interested. She said that's bull, presumably that she wouldn't have been deterred.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by SportsDino

I think sex is pretty easy to get to if that is what you are looking for.

I think my stats are:
2/7 = eventually sex after becoming a girlfriend
3/7 = implied that sex was highly possible
1/7 = we got drunk and made out, but I'm too tame
1/7 = she was only looking for sex and I backed away (I posted on this in my dynasty)

That counts only girls I physically met, obviously you need to meet before you can simulate procreation, and after that last seventh which was early on, I actually was putting out signals to avoid getting it on until after getting to know them. I think getting to sex is pretty easy if you have at least moderate charm (and match up in the looks range reasonably well).

How old are you? Just wondering, since the numbers tend to mystify me. If you've made it to your 20's with these stats, then I salute you.

--

Getting laid is fairly easy. Having standards tends to mess the whole getting laid thing up. I tended to have better luck when my standards fell, but that led to moments where I couldn't remember a woman's name, or if I had slept with her or not. (It's not a good feeling when "not" is the option you hope for.)

[SackAttack]

Originally Posted by Dark Cloud

He was saying if she'd seen what he looked like before they'd connected emotionally, she wouldn't have been interested. She said that's bull, presumably that she wouldn't have been deterred.

Oh, I suspect that's what he meant, but that isn't what he said.

[RendeR]

Originally Posted by SackAttack

Oh, I suspect that's what he meant, but that isn't what he said.

Actually thats exactly what I said?

[Danny]

Online dating is difficult, some pages or articles will have posted dates on them, but for the most part it's pretty difficult to know exactly when a web page was created.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by RendeR

Actually thats exactly what I said?

No you said you doubt you wouldn't be together. Which is the opposite of doubting you would be together.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Danny

Online dating is difficult, some pages or articles will have posted dates on them, but for the most part it's pretty difficult to know exactly when a web page was created.

*rimshot*

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by RendeR

Actually thats exactly what I said?

Rearrange the sentence.

You said "I highly doubt that if Telle had actually "seen" me before she felt she really cared about me we wouldn't still be together."

Move the last part and it becomes: "I highly doubt that we wouldn't still be together if Telle had actually "seen" me before she felt she really cared about me."

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by sabotai

Rearrange the sentence.

You said "I highly doubt that if Telle had actually "seen" me before she felt she really cared about me we wouldn't still be together."

Move the last part and it becomes: "I highly doubt that we wouldn't still be together if Telle had actually "seen" me before she felt she really cared about me."

We're playing word jumble now? Cool... my turn!

"Telle wouldn't be if I had cared that she actually really felt me about. Still doubt me? Before she highly "seen" we together."

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

We're playing word jumble now? Cool... my turn!

"Telle wouldn't be if I had cared that she actually really felt me about. Still doubt me? Before she highly "seen" we together."

If online dating is this confusing, no wonder people get pissed.

[SportsDino]

Haha, considering in the last two weeks I've had a lot of chatting, only one remaining candidate, and only 40 minutes of in person face time... I've had a lot of time to work on my political space station sim engine. But I do proceed at a glaciar pace, and I suddenly got lonely recently (probably the little sister having yet ANOTHER DAMN BABY therefore doubling my jealousy).

-----

I am 27, and have only been in the game for five years (starting right after a birthday, so its easy to time). My stats are depressingly low probably compared to almost everyone, and I don't target very high on the range (never even kissed above a 5 probably, if you guys would be that generous, lol).

However I know my military strategy and tend to pick battles I know I can win, and am pretty good at bringing overwhelming force to the point of attack, so among those that make it past the minefield of 'you said what? no way it happenin!' and the fact that as lynchjim says most girls seem to want to get laid.... the stats of reaching a sexual encounter are pretty high.

Unfortunately, I have met one non-batshit crazy woman, and she dumped me for probably the stupidest reason I've encountered yet. So I hardly have things figured out, I think anyone willing to play the nice/mysterious act could probably easily outscore me!

[M GO BLUE!!!]

CONFESSION TIME

Yes, I have been drinking and it's near 4am. I realized that it's been almost 10 years since I got a date in the real world. Everything has been online. The only current profile I have on an online dating site says the following:

I am much too bitter to deal with the whole dating thing. If you see me on here it's because I'm bored and looking to assure myself that there is nothing out there. So far, you ladies have been doing splendidly! Now go pat yourself on the back and ignore me (you're darn good at it!)

It's self explanatory. Women is a spectator sport. I played the game, and much like football I realize that my time on the field has passed. Fuck it.

[RendeR]

Originally Posted by RendeR

Isn't that the reality of things anywhere though? HUman beings are amazingly shallow and base far too much on first impressions and physical appearance. I highly doubt that if Telle had actually "seen" me before she felt she really cared about me we wouldn't still be together.

Originally Posted by DanGarion

No you said you doubt you wouldn't be together. Which is the opposite of doubting you would be together.

Nevermind, I get the grammar pedantics now.

[RendeR]

Originally Posted by SportsDino

Haha, considering in the last two weeks I've had a lot of chatting, only one remaining candidate, and only 40 minutes of in person face time... I've had a lot of time to work on my political space station sim engine. But I do proceed at a glaciar pace, and I suddenly got lonely recently (probably the little sister having yet ANOTHER DAMN BABY therefore doubling my jealousy).

-----

I am 27, and have only been in the game for five years (starting right after a birthday, so its easy to time). My stats are depressingly low probably compared to almost everyone, and I don't target very high on the range (never even kissed above a 5 probably, if you guys would be that generous, lol).

However I know my military strategy and tend to pick battles I know I can win, and am pretty good at bringing overwhelming force to the point of attack, so among those that make it past the minefield of 'you said what? no way it happenin!' and the fact that as lynchjim says most girls seem to want to get laid.... the stats of reaching a sexual encounter are pretty high.

Unfortunately, I have met one non-batshit crazy woman, and she dumped me for probably the stupidest reason I've encountered yet. So I hardly have things figured out, I think anyone willing to play the nice/mysterious act could probably easily outscore me!

I'm sure you know this by now but...


YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SportsDino]

Ya I think around 30 I'll have realized I've turned down more sex than I will ever possibly be able to obtain from that point on... then bashing head against a wall will commence.

Hell at 27 I've realized that college would have been the easiest time to land in the 6-8 range, I'd be lucky to get a 5 now, of course what time did I pick to be a reclusive super genius?! Frick!

I'm pretty sure I'll be in the M GO BLUE boat soon enough at the present rate, although I guess if I was willing to drop all of my silly rules I could make a go at it. At 30 I think I'll just give it up and see how many times I can score before I get too old.

[Izulde]

Hell I'm 30 and the last time I had a real life date was when I was 18. And, due to betting with other guys in the class I was in with the girl in question, I actually made money.

I sometimes wonder how my life would've turned out if I'd hadn't let the depression take over me and destroy that year. She was -very- interested in continuing it and I liked her, too.

[lynchjm24]

Originally Posted by SportsDino

Haha, considering in the last two weeks I've had a lot of chatting, only one remaining candidate, and only 40 minutes of in person face time... I've had a lot of time to work on my political space station sim engine. But I do proceed at a glaciar pace, and I suddenly got lonely recently (probably the little sister having yet ANOTHER DAMN BABY therefore doubling my jealousy).

-----

I am 27, and have only been in the game for five years (starting right after a birthday, so its easy to time). My stats are depressingly low probably compared to almost everyone, and I don't target very high on the range (never even kissed above a 5 probably, if you guys would be that generous, lol).

However I know my military strategy and tend to pick battles I know I can win, and am pretty good at bringing overwhelming force to the point of attack, so among those that make it past the minefield of 'you said what? no way it happenin!' and the fact that as lynchjim says most girls seem to want to get laid.... the stats of reaching a sexual encounter are pretty high.

Unfortunately, I have met one non-batshit crazy woman, and she dumped me for probably the stupidest reason I've encountered yet. So I hardly have things figured out, I think anyone willing to play the nice/mysterious act could probably easily outscore me!

My first job out of college was a horrible sales job. Dating is a lot like that shitty job. It's a numbers game and every no brings you that much closer to a yes.

My dating strategy was simple. Cast a wide net, give girls a chance and have a good time. I wasn't really all that concerned about finding the 'one' for falling in love, so maybe that makes it much easier then someone who is looking for true love or some sort of meaningful relationship. I figured if that happened, it happened but I really didn't give a shit either way.

And if it's sex you are after that's easy, the key is copious amounts of booze.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Izulde

Hell I'm 30 and the last time I had a real life date was when I was 18. And, due to betting with other guys in the class I was in with the girl in question, I actually made money.

I sometimes wonder how my life would've turned out if I'd hadn't let the depression take over me and destroy that year. She was -very- interested in continuing it and I liked her, too.

Here is a possible outcome: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/22/ma...1&ref=magazine

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

Here is a possible outcome: How DNA Testing Is Changing Fatherhood - NYTimes.com

Fascinating article. Thanks for the link.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Izulde

Fascinating article. Thanks for the link.

I know... it probably deserves its own thread, to avoid a possible threadjack.

[Poli]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

It's self explanatory. Women is a spectator sport. I played the game, and much like football I realize that my time on the field has passed. Fuck it.

QF...well shoot, I don't know. Just quoted for the wow.

[SportsDino]

Women IS a spectator sport!

So says 90% of the internet, and the song 'The Internet is for Porn"

[Galaxy]

Wanted to bump this...

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Wanted to bump this...

Why is that?

[Galaxy]

Any interesting stories recently?

Has anyone ever contacted someone who is long-distance?

[TroyF]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Any interesting stories recently?

Has anyone ever contacted someone who is long-distance?

My wife and I celebrated our third anniversary last night. We met online.

[DaddyTorgo]

I've been messing with match.com for a while now, just signed up and made a profile for free and all, and keep looking at my 5 daily matches. Figure at some point I'll sign up if one of those like...absolutely blows me away, or at some point when I just like...get uber-lonely, and by then I'll have a nice stable of folks who look interesting to start with.

I guess I don't really get lonely anymore though, having been alone for my whole life (in that sense), so I dunno if that will really ever happen.

[Tigercat]

Here is my problem(s) lately with online dating. I am horrible at first romantic impressions. Now on early encounters, I am not a blathering nervous idiot or too forward or anything, I just apparently suck at doing the things it takes to help start that spark. (I'm not above average in the looks department, so being able to leave a real romantic impression through interaction is important!)

I find though, that even if you meet a good match online that you had a few good conversations with beforehand, that it doesn't really help a guy like me. If you've gotten to know someone a bit before the quasi-blind date, and they don't feel the spark up front in person, now you don't even have as much of a mystery angle to keep them interested long enough for the spark to be noticeable in future encounters.

In other words, for those that are lacking in the suave category, I find online dating to be an expressway to the friend zone.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Tigercat

Here is my problem(s) lately with online dating. I am horrible at first romantic impressions. Now on early encounters, I am not a blathering nervous idiot or too forward or anything, I just apparently suck at doing the things it takes to help start that spark. (I'm not above average in the looks department, so being able to leave a real romantic impression through interaction is important!)

I find though, that even if you meet a good match online that you had a few good conversations with beforehand, that it doesn't really help a guy like me. If you've gotten to know someone a bit before the quasi-blind date, and they don't feel the spark up front in person, now you don't even have as much of a mystery angle to keep them interested long enough for the spark to be noticeable in future encounters.

In other words, for those that are lacking in the suave category, I find online dating to be an expressway to the friend zone.

Yikes - this would certainly be my problem. I have zero game - having zero experience.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Tigercat

Here is my problem(s) lately with online dating. I am horrible at first romantic impressions. Now on early encounters, I am not a blathering nervous idiot or too forward or anything, I just apparently suck at doing the things it takes to help start that spark. (I'm not above average in the looks department, so being able to leave a real romantic impression through interaction is important!)

I find though, that even if you meet a good match online that you had a few good conversations with beforehand, that it doesn't really help a guy like me. If you've gotten to know someone a bit before the quasi-blind date, and they don't feel the spark up front in person, now you don't even have as much of a mystery angle to keep them interested long enough for the spark to be noticeable in future encounters.

In other words, for those that are lacking in the suave category, I find online dating to be an expressway to the friend zone.

Sounds like you are overthinking it.

Try getting a really good buzz on before a date, that will loosen things up. If that doesn't work try doing something that may spur on conversation. Go to a bar that has a trivia night, go to the track or casino, maybe a murder mystery. Something that will help fill the conversation gaps and give you stuff to talk about besides yourselves.

[EagleFan]

Originally Posted by Tigercat

Here is my problem(s) lately with online dating. I am horrible at first romantic impressions. Now on early encounters, I am not a blathering nervous idiot or too forward or anything, I just apparently suck at doing the things it takes to help start that spark. (I'm not above average in the looks department, so being able to leave a real romantic impression through interaction is important!)

I find though, that even if you meet a good match online that you had a few good conversations with beforehand, that it doesn't really help a guy like me. If you've gotten to know someone a bit before the quasi-blind date, and they don't feel the spark up front in person, now you don't even have as much of a mystery angle to keep them interested long enough for the spark to be noticeable in future encounters.

In other words, for those that are lacking in the suave category, I find online dating to be an expressway to the friend zone.

You've got baby batter on the brain...

Seriously though, what Lathum was saying. This described me quite well. Never had any luck and when I finally started dating my wife I had already given into the fact that I was going to be single forever. It seemed like there wasn't as much pressure that I was putting on myself at that point and things went well. This year will be our 18th anniverary.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Lathum

Sounds like you are overthinking it.

+1

Just consider this: If I can end up married (and staying married) for close to 20 years and still counting, then ANYBODY can find somebody.

I'll also echo EF, marriage (nor anything like a long relationship) was remotely on my mind when I found mine. Last thing on Earth I'd suggest anybody be thinking about is pretty much anything beyond just letting stuff happen as it will.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Wanted to bump this...

Originally Posted by DanGarion

Why is that?

Because he hasn't "bumped" anything else lately!

[sovereignstar v2]

What a fucking weirdo.

[Suicane75]

I met a hottie right here on FOFC. We spent a week together but didn't get physical. Played some Madden, smoked some weed and shared a Digornios.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Since moving back home, then getting my own place I have been on two dates & one "meeting."

1. Nice. Made out with her a bit. Never saw her again, as her schedule & mine didn't match up well & when she would say she had time she would seem to vanish. Oh well, the pic I really liked of her wasn't the best representation.

2. I was and am really impressed with her. She seems to like me. I didn't get that spark though. Again, the pics that made me say "WOOOOO HOOOO!" were of her, yet I could have walked by her while looking for the woman pictured.

3. The meeting. The pic was so far off... She looked like an ex girl of mine in the pic. In reality, not at all. Plus it's hard to see how she actually hid the rest of her. It's never a good sign when you are about to meet a woman and this song coincidentally comes up on your iPod in shuffle mode:

Spoiler

I'm taking a break. Really, with my income I don't need to be doing anything other than paying bills & looking for a real job.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by sovereignstar v2

What a fucking weirdo.

You're jealous.

[Grover]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

3. The meeting. The pic was so far off... She looked like an ex girl of mine in the pic. In reality, not at all. Plus it's hard to see how she actually hid the rest of her.

I'm taking a break. Really, with my income I don't need to be doing anything other than paying bills & looking for a real job.

The larger girls always tend to take pictures from the shoulders up, or in a flattering fashion of cleavage up from an overhead shot. That's how they hide it all.

As far as women, I'm in the same department as you. My girlfriend left me in September, went back to her ex. I'm done with dating until I find a full time job and get some debt paid off. Especially since I had to move back home after losing my job. But, I find that when not looking for it, that's when it seems to come along most often.

[Izulde]

FWIW, the whole finding someone when not looking is true for quite a few people, but to paraphrase a short story in Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio some people are meant to live and die alone.

I accepted a couple years ago that I'm one of those people.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by Suicane75

I met a hottie right here on FOFC. We spent a week together but didn't get physical. Played some Madden, smoked some weed and shared a Digornios.

I always wondered how you and sov became butt buddies.

[Suicane75]

You're jealous.

[SportsDino]

I am about to marry the girl I found through online dating system. Introduction that NEVER would have happened without it.

[Rizon]

Sugar Daddy Online Dating

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Probably the best three dates I ever had were from women met online too (throw those in with the few dozen horror stories)

1. When all was said & done I went home singing. Couldn't wipe the grin off my face. Nothing overboard, just a nice evening filled with drinks, staring at boobies & then making out for probably a half hour. Relationship lasted a year & a half. We ended up becoming friends after a while apart & chat nearly every day.

2. Probably the best first kiss ever. When setting up a second date she said she couldn't get together the next week because she would be laying on a beach in DR. I looked deep into her eyes & said "I really, truly hate you" Then we kissed right on the street in NYC in front of the Museum of Natural History. Relationship only lasted a few months because she knew I wanted to move back home to Detroit. Still, a damn good woman. Miss her...

3. Met to go to dinner. The place we were going to go was closing. There was no other place we could think of close by other than a Chinese take-out. I lived close by, so offered to head to my place to eat. Once there we talked, watched a movie & I put my moves on her. Got nowhere. Seemed like there was a wall up. When I finally got frustrated to the point I was thinking about how to get rid of her I excused myself to use the bathroom. Two minutes later she's not in my living room. "Hey..." "I'm in here" Great... what's she snooping around in my bedroom for? Oh my... she's taking off her panties. Damn those boobies are NICE!!!

Believe it or not, she was a bit crazy... Three weeks is all I could stand.

[jeff061]

I have found I personally reject woman based on their profiles online that I wouldn't in real life. I actually read an article on the phenomenon. I think the specific nature of online profiles tends to have you over prioritize the negatives and under prioritize the positives. In real life its the opposite, which I think is better. You can't define chemistry on paper.

[JediKooter]

I've been 'seeing' someone for a few months now. She contacted me on Plenty of Fish. She's not quite what I'm looking for, but, oh man, can she give an awesome BJ.

I think the women here in the bay area, though a lot are very attractive, are such nut cases, it's next to impossible for me to actually get along with most of them.

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

I've been 'seeing' someone for a few months now. She contacted me on Plenty of Fish. She's not quite what I'm looking for, but, oh man, can she give an awesome BJ.

I think the women here in the bay area, though a lot are very attractive, are such nut cases, it's next to impossible for me to actually get along with most of them.

Hmmm ...

[Chief Rum]

I struggle with generating that spark on the date, too, although I am learning to get better at it.

But, then, it may not matter much anymore, because my GF and I are doing really well right now. But I am still working on it, even with her, just to make things more enjoyable for her.

My understanding (and this is hard for me to do, because I am at heart "a nice guy" and I don't step on toes easily) is that you want to be aggressive, be the man. Smallest opportunity for a kiss? Go for it. Take her hand when you're walking around as soon as you can. Surprise her--don't wait for the end of the date to be forward about things. Women like sex, too (I know, amazing huh?)--if she's out on a date with you, she's interested in sex. So just by being on the date, you have a decent chance to generate that spark, and see if there's something there.

You should still watch for the opening, though--if it's not there, it's just not there. My GF encourages an open relationship with me, and so I went out with this very beautiful woman I met at a bar a couple weekends ago. She was a sweetheart and a great conversationalist, and we actually had a great time talking over dinner, laughing, enjoying each other's company. But the whole time I didn't get even the hint that she wanted anything more than a dinner companion, not a single come hither glance, nothing, and the date ended with a hug. So even though I had a really good time, I have not called her, and I don't plan to.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Rizon

Hmmm ...

At least it wasn't Norv.