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Old 03-03-2006, 09:21 AM   #1
rkmsuf
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Stalls

So I walk into the bathroom just now. Not a sole in there. Guy comes in right behind me. There are 4 stalls, all clean so I proceed to the farthest one from the door...let's call it stall 4.

No sooner do I get in there but guy #2 decides to get in stall #3 right next to me, sit down and just take this massively gross sounding dump. I mean wtf...two perfectly good stalls there with a buffer zone.

So I'm sitting there pondering this when guy #3 walks in. Now mind you stall #1 is open as is two. What does he do? Walk down to my stall and try and open the door.

It's like bizzaro bathroom. Please if you can, choose alternating stalls and give people some room.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:24 AM   #2
Bee
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Are smurf turds blue?
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:26 AM   #3
rkmsuf
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is white people turd white?

better question is what color does a smurf turn when you choke it
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:26 AM   #4
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You should've told guy #3 "Hey buddy, there is only room for one in here."
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:26 AM   #5
Honolulu_Blue
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rkmsuf
So I walk into the bathroom just now. Not a sole in there. Guy comes in right behind me. There are 4 stalls, all clean so I proceed to the farthest one from the door...let's call it stall 4.

No sooner do I get in there but guy #2 decides to get in stall #3 right next to me, sit down and just take this massively gross sounding dump. I mean wtf...two perfectly good stalls there with a buffer zone.

So I'm sitting there pondering this when guy #3 walks in. Now mind you stall #1 is open as is two. What does he do? Walk down to my stall and try and open the door.

It's like bizzaro bathroom. Please if you can, choose alternating stalls and give people some room.

I concur. It's ten times worse, however, when this happens when using a urinal. It's completely unacceptable, if there are other options available, to use a urinal right next to one already in use. If there are only two and it's a tight fit, use the stall.

rksmurf, that must be a record long post for you. You must be exhausted after that Chief Rumesque novella.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:27 AM   #6
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aha! my favourite petpeeves!!!

Here, we have this kinda tiny bathroom, one stall, one urinal. I need to take a dump, abso-freacking-lutely NEED TO. I'm walking resolutely toward the bathroom as I see a guy walking in there, maybe witha 10, 15 feet headstart on me, I'm thinking "please God, be it that he needs to take a piss". I walk in and what do I realize? The guy is in the stall, nobody at the urinal and HE'S FREAKING TAKING A PISS!!!

Damn, I tell you, I almost shit in the urinal.

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Old 03-03-2006, 09:27 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rkmsuf
better question is what color does a smurf turn when you choke it

A deep, dark purple. Or so Gargamel claims in his memoirs.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:27 AM   #8
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I get worked up about stall etiquette.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:28 AM   #9
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Maybe guy #2 normally dumps in stall #3, just like guy #3 dumps in stall #4. I like taking a dump in the same stall if at all possible so I can continue to carve cool phrases in the wall like "rkmsuf sucks!"
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:28 AM   #10
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I guess I'm the only one not reading rkmsuf as rksmurf these days...
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:29 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by rkmsuf
I get worked up about stall etiquette.

Indeed. You're like Denzel Washington... A Man On Fire.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:29 AM   #12
rkmsuf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gottimd
You should've told guy #3 "Hey buddy, there is only room for one in here."


You know I almost blurted out to guy #2 "Must you sit there?"
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:30 AM   #13
rkmsuf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raiders Army
Maybe guy #2 normally dumps in stall #3, just like guy #3 dumps in stall #4. I like taking a dump in the same stall if at all possible so I can continue to carve cool phrases in the wall like "rkmsuf sucks!"

buffer zone supercedes stall perference
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:39 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by rkmsuf
is white people turd white?


I actually wouldn't know.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:44 AM   #15
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Hey, smurf and I finally have something in common. I hate people who don't follow buffer rules, and I hate cowards who piss on the seat in the stall when there are perfectly good urinals available.

And I am horrified that seemingly about 35% to 40% of the population doesn't bother to wash their hands, even coming out of a stall. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!?
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:50 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodos
and I hate cowards who piss on the seat in the stall when there are perfectly good urinals available.

I hate it when people take dumps in the urinals when there are perfectly good seats available.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:52 AM   #17
Bee
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I saw a guy use the sink for a urinal once...that might be the only time I didn't wash my hands coming out of a public bathroom.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:52 AM   #18
rkmsuf
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The other guy that fascinates me is the one that voluntarily chooses the little kids urinal. I see them from time to time. Two empty urinals...one a man height and one at little kid height and the little one is utilized.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:53 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rkmsuf
The other guy that fascinates me is the one that voluntarily chooses the little kids urinal. I see them from time to time. Two empty urinals...one a man height and one at little kid height and the little one is utilized.
Maybe they have little kid pee-pees so they use the little kid urinal.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:53 AM   #20
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LOL
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:54 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by Bee
I actually wouldn't know.

yeah, cause we all know that a bee's turd is striped black and yellow...

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Old 03-03-2006, 09:55 AM   #22
rkmsuf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raiders Army
Maybe they have little kid pee-pees so they use the little kid urinal.

Perhaps but even more reason to use the big boy urinal and keep the illusion of an enourmous wang intact.
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:55 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodos
Hey, smurf and I finally have something in common. I hate people who don't follow buffer rules, and I hate cowards who piss on the seat in the stall when there are perfectly good urinals available.

And I am horrified that seemingly about 35% to 40% of the population doesn't bother to wash their hands, even coming out of a stall. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!?!?!?

Couldn't agree more...

You should have fun reading this old thread that I started:
http://www.operationsports.com/fofc/...ad.php?t=37805

FM
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:58 AM   #24
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Everytime guys talk about this, it is always accepted that there are buffer zones. I wonder if this idiots just don't have any guy friends where they can learn that this type of behavior will not be tolerated!
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Old 03-03-2006, 09:58 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by Raiders Army
Maybe they have little kid pee-pees so they use the little kid urinal.

or the other way around, he has a ridiculously long wang and he doesn't want it to touch bottom...

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Old 03-03-2006, 10:02 AM   #26
rkmsuf
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ISiddiqui
Everytime guys talk about this, it is always accepted that there are buffer zones. I wonder if this idiots just don't have any guy friends where they can learn that this type of behavior will not be tolerated!


Good point. I just can't imagine what goes through a dude's head in this situation. He's sees me go in #4 and then thinks "Uh, yeah I want to sit as close as possible to him and drop a deuce."
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:03 AM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ISiddiqui
Everytime guys talk about this, it is always accepted that there are buffer zones. I wonder if this idiots just don't have any guy friends where they can learn that this type of behavior will not be tolerated!
I dunno man. If there was shit and wet toilet paper coming out of the commode in stall #1 and #2, I'd definitely go to #3, even if it was next to some other guy.
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:04 AM   #28
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Originally Posted by Bee
I saw a guy use the sink for a urinal once...that might be the only time I didn't wash my hands coming out of a public bathroom.

There was a group of us at a Chiefs game at Arrowhead years ago. A bunch of us get up at halftime to hit the john. The line is so damn long and the wait is going to be forever. Steve looks at me and then nods towards the sink. Not sure about now but at the time the handwashing facility wasn't really a sink but like a half-moon thing with water always running out of a pipe that followed the half moon (hope that made sense). Anyway old Steve he walks over to the "sink" unzips and starts to piss (keep in mind this long line of men and nobody is at the sinks washing their hands). I would say withing a minute everyone of these halfmoons was surrounded by guys taking a leak. I bet the ushers were wondering how the bathroom cleared out so quickly.
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:04 AM   #29
rkmsuf
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Originally Posted by Raiders Army
I dunno man. If there was shit and wet toilet paper coming out of the commode in stall #1 and #2, I'd definitely go to #3, even if it was next to some other guy.


Totally different situation but first of all they were all clean and judging by the speed in which he reached #3 I doubt this guy even checked.
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:09 AM   #30
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Originally Posted by Honolulu_Blue
I concur. It's ten times worse, however, when this happens when using a urinal. It's completely unacceptable, if there are other options available, to use a urinal right next to one already in use. If there are only two and it's a tight fit, use the stall.

rksmurf, that must be a record long post for you. You must be exhausted after that Chief Rumesque novella.


if there is only one space between everyone at a urinal (ie everyone having a buffer zone), I absolutely WILL NOT squeeze in there. i have no problem waiting until one or more of them finish. standing right next to a person at the urinals= good chance I'll get peed on
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:12 AM   #31
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alright I had two recent bathroom experiences Ill share. Im up in NC on vacation with friends and I already have a timid stomcah so after dinner this one night we go to Ingles to get some groceries. While there it hits like a ton of bricks. You know that feeling the puckered sphincter, the pale as ghost feeling, the goosebumps....I turn to 3R and say, "I gotta." and she already knows with a supportive "GO!!". So Im off and I go into this fairly large bathroom and I proceed also to Stall 4, however unfortunately there is only a stall 3 next to me. I proceed to dump with abandon to the tune of Debbie Gibson "Out of the Blue", its just me so Im in full flow. Then some guy sits next to me in stall 3 and unfortunately someone, in the place decides to talk on the mic and the music goes to nothing, Im splashing water everywhere and there is not only just me and the guy but the music has disappeared. When the music finally does come back on it is the next song, a much slower softer song and my dumpage is doing no one any favors. IT sucked.

Than yesterday I was at the store shopping and I simply had to take a leak. So after checking out I parked my buggy by the bathrooma nd walked in. There are 2 urinals and I pick the one on the left. I take a quick summary of what is going on and figure out that the floor is a bit moist and decided my best plan of attack is to add about 8 inches to the range of wear i stand to try and clear the moisture avoiding the actual standing in it. However this exposes me to anyone should they choose to be at the sink which is not blocked in any way from this particular urinal and the guard to my right comes to only chest high, but that should do, since no one else is in there. As soon as I start stream a guy walks in, kinda wierd, in that he goes to the sink but cannot activate the auto faucet(s) neither of them but he tries quite a bit BEFORE he comes to the urinal to my right. Of course I keep the eye trained forward ont he tile which someone has kindly wiped a booger on. Then I notice the guy to the right bending way over and to the left, closer to the guard...either he's fishing out his Johnson or he is trying to eye mine BUT I cant look at him. If I do, and I am wrong it could swing around on me wherein he'll be the one saying, "What the hell are you looking at?" and then it'll be a penis standoff!!! I left finally, and felt molested afterward...I went home and took a Crying Game type shower. Hold me.
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:14 AM   #32
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lol, penis standoff
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:14 AM   #33
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:16 AM   #34
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flasch186
alright I had two recent bathroom experiences Ill share. Im up in NC on vacation with friends and I already have a timid stomcah so after dinner this one night we go to Ingles to get some groceries. While there it hits like a ton of bricks. You know that feeling the puckered sphincter, the pale as ghost feeling, the goosebumps....I turn to 3R and say, "I gotta." and she already knows with a supportive "GO!!". So Im off and I go into this fairly large bathroom and I proceed also to Stall 4, however unfortunately there is only a stall 3 next to me. I proceed to dump with abandon to the tune of Debbie Gibson "Out of the Blue", its just me so Im in full flow. Then some guy sits next to me in stall 3 and unfortunately someone, in the place decides to talk on the mic and the music goes to nothing, Im splashing water everywhere and there is not only just me and the guy but the music has disappeared. When the music finally does come back on it is the next song, a much slower softer song and my dumpage is doing no one any favors. IT sucked.

Than yesterday I was at the store shopping and I simply had to take a leak. So after checking out I parked my buggy by the bathrooma nd walked in. There are 2 urinals and I pick the one on the left. I take a quick summary of what is going on and figure out that the floor is a bit moist and decided my best plan of attack is to add about 8 inches to the range of wear i stand to try and clear the moisture avoiding the actual standing in it. However this exposes me to anyone should they choose to be at the sink which is not blocked in any way from this particular urinal and the guard to my right comes to only chest high, but that should do, since no one else is in there. As soon as I start stream a guy walks in, kinda wierd, in that he goes to the sink but cannot activate the auto faucet(s) neither of them but he tries quite a bit BEFORE he comes to the urinal to my right. Of course I keep the eye trained forward ont he tile which someone has kindly wiped a booger on. Then I notice the guy to the right bending way over and to the left, closer to the guard...either he's fishing out his Johnson or he is trying to eye mine BUT I cant look at him. If I do, and I am wrong it could swing around on me wherein he'll be the one saying, "What the hell are you looking at?" and then it'll be a penis standoff!!! I left finally, and felt molested afterward...I went home and took a Crying Game type shower. Hold me.
Two of the best stories I've heard in a while. LOL!
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:24 AM   #35
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Hate the people that try to stir up a conversation when you are in the bathroom.
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:29 AM   #36
stevew
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Man, the art of a courtesy flush is lost on a lot of people, as well. If you are bombing the john, you need to be providing a slight distraction so that I don't have to hear every last drop coming out of your ass. Geez, it's not that hard.
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:29 AM   #37
FrogMan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Flasch186
alright I had two recent bathroom experiences Ill share. Im up in NC on vacation with friends and I already have a timid stomcah so after dinner this one night we go to Ingles to get some groceries. While there it hits like a ton of bricks. You know that feeling the puckered sphincter, the pale as ghost feeling, the goosebumps....I turn to 3R and say, "I gotta." and she already knows with a supportive "GO!!". So Im off and I go into this fairly large bathroom and I proceed also to Stall 4, however unfortunately there is only a stall 3 next to me. I proceed to dump with abandon to the tune of Debbie Gibson "Out of the Blue", its just me so Im in full flow. Then some guy sits next to me in stall 3 and unfortunately someone, in the place decides to talk on the mic and the music goes to nothing, Im splashing water everywhere and there is not only just me and the guy but the music has disappeared. When the music finally does come back on it is the next song, a much slower softer song and my dumpage is doing no one any favors. IT sucked.

Than yesterday I was at the store shopping and I simply had to take a leak. So after checking out I parked my buggy by the bathrooma nd walked in. There are 2 urinals and I pick the one on the left. I take a quick summary of what is going on and figure out that the floor is a bit moist and decided my best plan of attack is to add about 8 inches to the range of wear i stand to try and clear the moisture avoiding the actual standing in it. However this exposes me to anyone should they choose to be at the sink which is not blocked in any way from this particular urinal and the guard to my right comes to only chest high, but that should do, since no one else is in there. As soon as I start stream a guy walks in, kinda wierd, in that he goes to the sink but cannot activate the auto faucet(s) neither of them but he tries quite a bit BEFORE he comes to the urinal to my right. Of course I keep the eye trained forward ont he tile which someone has kindly wiped a booger on. Then I notice the guy to the right bending way over and to the left, closer to the guard...either he's fishing out his Johnson or he is trying to eye mine BUT I cant look at him. If I do, and I am wrong it could swing around on me wherein he'll be the one saying, "What the hell are you looking at?" and then it'll be a penis standoff!!! I left finally, and felt molested afterward...I went home and took a Crying Game type shower. Hold me.

damn you flasch, two very funny ones. Just can't hold the laughing any longer

FM
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:37 AM   #38
Arctus
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Originally Posted by rkmsuf
You know I almost blurted out to guy #2 "Must you sit there?"

You should have gone with "You show that turd who's boss!"
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Old 03-03-2006, 10:45 AM   #39
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Old 03-03-2006, 11:05 AM   #40
Logan
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Originally Posted by rkmsuf
The other guy that fascinates me is the one that voluntarily chooses the little kids urinal. I see them from time to time. Two empty urinals...one a man height and one at little kid height and the little one is utilized.

Interesting...I'm a regular height guy myself, but just about a week ago, I heard someone on the radio saying that they use the kid's urinal because he can aim low down, which prevents splashback into the groinal area.
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Old 03-03-2006, 11:08 AM   #41
rkmsuf
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Originally Posted by Logan
Interesting...I'm a regular height guy myself, but just about a week ago, I heard someone on the radio saying that they use the kid's urinal because he can aim low down, which prevents splashback into the groinal area.

so why aren't they all low then
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Old 03-03-2006, 11:09 AM   #42
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Since we're on the subject...

If there's a handicap stall, what's the protocol for using it? What if the rest are full, is it OK to use it? Is it always fair game for everyone at all times? Is it like a handicap parking spot, where you can't use it no matter what?

I'm not being smug, I really don't know the etiquette here and I've always wondered.
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Old 03-03-2006, 11:10 AM   #43
Logan
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so why aren't they all low then

Lead the charge, my man...lead the charge.
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Old 03-03-2006, 11:12 AM   #44
Logan
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Since we're on the subject...

If there's a handicap stall, what's the protocol for using it? What if the rest are full, is it OK to use it? Is it always fair game for everyone at all times? Is it like a handicap parking spot, where you can't use it no matter what?

I'm not being smug, I really don't know the etiquette here and I've always wondered.

A. Watch Curb Your Enthusiasm.

B. That stall is always fair game, in my opinion. Unless you're walking to the can and there's a guy behind you in a wheelchair, leading you to think he might be headed the same way. If you still use it, you're a cold-hearted bastard who deserves to be shot.
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Old 03-03-2006, 11:15 AM   #45
JeeberD
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Location: The Town of Flower Mound
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flasch186
Then I notice the guy to the right bending way over and to the left, closer to the guard...either he's fishing out his Johnson or he is trying to eye mine BUT I cant look at him. If I do, and I am wrong it could swing around on me wherein he'll be the one saying, "What the hell are you looking at?" and then it'll be a penis standoff!!! I left finally, and felt molested afterward...I went home and took a Crying Game type shower. Hold me.

I have a buddy who tells a story about how one time at a hockey game he was taking a leak when a guy came in and stood at the urinal next to him even though the bathroom was empty. The dude then looked over at my buddy's nether region, and then looked my buddy in the eye and said, "Nice cock you got there."

I don't think I have to say that my bud got out of there as fast as he could...
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Last edited by JeeberD : 03-03-2006 at 11:15 AM.
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Old 03-03-2006, 11:19 AM   #46
stevew
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: the yo'
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maple Leafs
Since we're on the subject...

If there's a handicap stall, what's the protocol for using it? What if the rest are full, is it OK to use it? Is it always fair game for everyone at all times? Is it like a handicap parking spot, where you can't use it no matter what?

I'm not being smug, I really don't know the etiquette here and I've always wondered.

Always fair game. I like to use that stall so I can stretch out a bit, instead of being all cramped up in a normal stall.
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Old 03-03-2006, 11:23 AM   #47
Raiders Army
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The Black Hole
Not trying to start anything, but just curious about those that are gay and/or bi: Do you check us out when we're peeing?

I have to say that if I could sneak a peek at a woman's vagina, I'd do it.
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Old 03-03-2006, 11:23 AM   #48
FrogMan
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Pintendre, Qc, Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevew
Always fair game. I like to use that stall so I can stretch out a bit, instead of being all cramped up in a normal stall.

Also think it's fair game although I hate to use it. The seat is usually set higher and even at a hair under six feet, I hate having to sit and only have my toes touch the ground...

FM
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Old 03-03-2006, 11:24 AM   #49
JeeberD
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Town of Flower Mound
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raiders Army
Not trying to start anything, but just curious about those that are gay and/or bi: Do you check us out when we're peeing?

I have to say that if I could sneak a peek at a woman's vagina, I'd do it.

Ick. I know I try to avoid those sites that have pics of chicks peeing...
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Old 03-03-2006, 11:25 AM   #50
Joe
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Minneapolis
Quote:
Originally Posted by JeeberD
I have a buddy who tells a story about how one time at a hockey game he was taking a leak when a guy came in and stood at the urinal next to him even though the bathroom was empty. The dude then looked over at my buddy's nether region, and then looked my buddy in the eye and said, "Nice cock you got there."

I don't think I have to say that my bud got out of there as fast as he could...


Was it George Michael?
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