The Bill Gates Challenge, Part IX: The End of the Road?

[Kodos]

"Dead thing walking," Chief Leon Lett announced as he guided me down the hall toward the execution chamber. He no doubt took pleasure in roughly jamming my cuffed hands up behind me as he shoved me ahead of him. The dimly lit passageway we were walking down was lined with reporters, and the flashes from their cameras blinded me as I shambled forth in my leg irons. As I passed by Weekly World News columnist Bibi Gunn, she lunged forward and spat in my face, yelling "Burn in hell, you frakkin' space bastard!"

Slowly, we made our way into the chamber, where Lett and his deputies shoved me harshly into the electric chair. Up until 2010, Texas had used lethal injection as the method of execution, but in the fall of that year, Governor George W. Bush had successfully lobbied to have death by electrocution reinstated on the grounds that it was "more entertaining for the good people of Texas."

Lett made a point of personally clasping shut the shackles on my arms and legs. "This is gonna hurt," he told me, a big dumb smile spreading across his face.

They had shaved my head earlier that morning, and now the governor made a big production out of soaking my scalp with a sponge to ensure that the electricity would pass through my head in sufficient amounts to kill me. Once he was done, he stepped back, tripping over Lett's feet for a moment before catching his balance again.

One of the deputies fastened the headgear into position on top of my head, while Reverend Lovejoy read me my last rites. Once Lovejoy had finished, he snapped his bible shut crisply and told me "I don't think this stuff applies to aliens," and then he made his way to the exit.

Behind the glass, the viewing room was filled to capacity. All sorts of folks had turned out to see the alien fry. The week before the execution ceremony, I had assumed my human form so that the crowd wouldn't get the satisfaction of seeing me electrocuted in my true alien form. The hatred was plain to see on their faces, and my eyes scanned the room without hope for a friendly face amongst the sea of people who had come to see me die. Briefly, I caught the eye of the janitor in the far corner of the room. He nodded to me almost imperceptibly, and then rubbed his chin through his salt-and-pepper beard, shuffling back and forth uncomfortably behind his mop bucket. The clock above him read 11:59. It was almost time.

"Do you have any last words, alien?" Lett asked me.

"I only want to say again that I am not guilty, and that you are executing an innocent man."

"You're not a man," Lett told me and turned away. "It's time," he declared as he moved over to the control area at the front of the room. The clock struck midnight.

"Hey Governor," he said, "You're not gonna call me on your cell phone, are ya?"

"Hell no!" Bush responded, drawing cheers and laughter from the crowd.

"Very well, sir. It would appear then that we've got ourselves a fish to fry!" With that, he grabbed the lever on the wall, and then paused for what seemed an eternity, once again appearing to enjoy the drama of the moment.

"See you in hell," he told me, then rammed the lever down. A shower of sparks filled my eyes, and then there was darkness.

[Kodos]

For those of you who might be unfamiliar with The Bill Gates Challenge, it is the story of my quest as GM of Bill Gates’ Gatesville Silicon Pirates to drive Jerry Jones and his putrid Dallas Cowboys out of Texas. I started this dynasty using FOF 2001 back in June of 2001, and it has been going on and off since then. Mostly off during the last few years.

Anyhow, if you are interested in reading this dynasty, I strongly suggest you go back and start reading from the beginning. Otherwise you won't understand things like Chuck U. Farley and the Compound, or why Leon Lett and the state of Texas would want to electrocute me. You won't know who guys like Devin Bergeron, Al Ingram, and Kyle Diaz are. And most importantly, you won't know why it has been my mission to drive the Cowboys out of Texas. In short, you will be a n00b to the Challenge. And nobody should have to endure that.

Links to the eight previous installments of the saga can be found below.

Part I: In The Beginning...

Part II: Don't Mess With Texas!

Part III: A New Hope

Part IV: The Lords Of The Rings?

Part V: Big Trouble In Little Texas...

Part VI: Flirting With Destiny

Part VII: The Return!

Part VIII: Blaze Of Glory!

[cthomer5000]

OH HELL YES

[Kodos]

[JAG]

Originally Posted by Kodos

Otherwise you won't understand things like Chuck U. Farley and the Compound, or why Leon Lett and the state of Texas would want to electrocute me. You won't know who guys like Devin Bergeron, Al Ingram, and Kyle Diaz are.

It is scary that I still remember those guys.

[Radii]

Originally Posted by JAG

It is scary that I still remember those guys.

That was my first thought, I remember every single one of those names. I wonder what useful knowledge disappeared to make room for Gatesville in my memory.

Great to see this back!

[fantastic flying froggies]

Chuck U., one of my favorite FOF fake players in the history of FOFC dynasties, returns!

WOO HOO!!!

[Fonzie]

ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

[cthomer5000]

I plan on re-reading the whole dynasty. Anyone who is coming across this for the first time should jump right in, as it's arguably the best dynasty ever at FOFC.

[Kodos]

To backtrack a bit, at the end of the last installment of the Bill Gates Challenge, Irving P.D. Chief Leon Lett and his henchmen had come for me following the Pirates' defeat of the Atlanta Falcons in the Divisional Round of the 2017 NFL Playoffs. My arrest came in the wake of the mysterious disappearance of Jebidiah “Murph” McMurphy, an alcoholic vendor who was employed by Texas Stadium to sell beer at football games, monster truck rallies, WWE matches, et cetera. Despite the fact that they had never found a body, nor even any blood, I had been implicated in McMurphy's death based on an anonymous eye-witness report that placed me at the stadium after hours, along with some grainy surveillance photos that later surfaced in The Weekly World News.

I'd like to report that Judge Roger Staubach conducted a fair trial for me, but that would be a bald-faced lie. The truth is, I was railroaded to a guilty verdict before a jury stacked with alien-fearing rednecks and rabid Cowboy fans. I'd have stood a better chance of getting an innocent verdict if I'd been a Hatfield prosecuted in front of a jury comprised entirely of McCoys.

* * *

I will say one thing for the Texas Judicial System. With some public prodding from the Governor's office, the courts expedited my case through the system in record time. I guess it shouldn't have come as a surprise that due process was not a major consideration in a state where "W" was the governor. When the last of my appeals had been exhausted, there was nothing left for me to do but wait for some Texas-style justice to be delivered upon me. And so it came to be that even before training camps had started for the 2018 season, I found myself awaiting execution. And like a modern-day Bob Uecker, and I was moving up to the front row.

[Northwood_DK]

Originally Posted by cthomer5000

I plan on re-reading the whole dynasty. Anyone who is coming across this for the first time should jump right in, as it's arguably the best dynasty ever at FOFC.

Fixed

[Kodos]

Thanks for all the nice comments, guys.

[Kodos]

Sorry for the slow progress, folks. I will move things along as fast as I can, but sometimes it is hard to find the time to do another segment.

[Kodos]

The flick of Chief Lett's wrist routed enough electricity to kill a man through the execution chamber's lighting rig. For a split second, the room was flooded in a flash of light as the the fixtures overhead exploded in a white hot shower of sparks and glass. As the embers flared out, the room was plunged into complete darkness. All around me, voices were murmuring in surprise and confusion. Out of nowhere, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Come with me if you want to live," a familiar voice urged me.

With no time to make sense of what was happening, I morphed into alien form and slid free of the shackles, which clanked loudly to the floor. Still unable to see in the darkness, I felt the stranger's hand take mine and pull me forward. Headlong the unseen hand guided me as we slammed into those who came between us and the exit. Some men tried to grab us and slow us down, but we broke free and pushed through the door.

"Stairs!" he warned me, but it was too late as I tripped behind him and then scrambled back to my feet. Through the darkened facility we ran, the sounds of our footsteps echoing in my ears. I clipped into a wall as we rounded a corner, but we didn't slow down.

"Where are we going?" I huffed from behind, winded and trying desperately to keep up.

"Cafeteria," he answered without further explanation.

Around another corner we sprinted. "Slow down," he warned me, but my momentum carried me into him and we both slammed into a wall. I heard the hum of the emergency lights as they flickered to life. Crap.

"Over there," the janitor pointed, ripping off his night vision goggles. We crossed the hall and I hastily climbed behind him onto the conveyor belt that lead to the dishwashers' room. Back where we had come from, I heard voices echoing down the hall as I squeezed through the two-by-two opening. From there, we made our way to the loading dock at the back of the kitchen, but the exit was locked.

"What do we do now?" I exhaled as I scanned the room and listened to the voices behind us grow louder.

"They went in there," one of the pursuers shouted.

"Garbage shoot?" said the janitor.

"Garbage shoot," I repeated, as he disappeared down the hole...

[JeeberD]

BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Death to the Cowboys hating alien!!!!

[Godzilla Blitz]

Hey, when did this come back?

I swear, I missed everything. I go away for a month or so, come back, and so much has happened. There's a new game out and the Bill Gates' Challenge has started up again? Good stuff! Needless to say, I'll be reading.

[Kodos]

Welcome back, GB! Hopefully another update soon.

[ntndeacon]

Death to the Cowboys!

[Kodos]

Without the benefit of headlights, our black van careened through the night, guided only by the stars and the Texas moon. The long-haired driver had on night vision goggles, but I wondered to myself how effective those could be for driving. The van had been waiting for us when we made it outside of the police facility. Of course, the cops had given chase, but, miraculously, we seemed to have shaken the last of them a little ways back. Finally, I broke the silence.

"I don't mean to seem ungrateful, but... what just happened? And who the hell are you guys?"

My rescuer winked at the driver, who laughed in response. "I have to admit that I'm a little hurt that you don't seem to recognize me. Sure, I'm a bit worse for wear, but it's not like I have let myself go."

The janitor's voice was immediately familiar, but I was sure that I had never met this disheveled man. He pulled off his oversized glasses to give me a better look at him. "Still no idea? Boy, I thought you aliens were supposed to be smarter than us. To think I spent so much of my youth looking for you guys."

"I must admit that I'm still at a bit of a loss here."

"Perhaps this will help you," he said, pulling off his grimy fake beard. I stared at his moonlit face for a few moments. He seemed to be getting a kick out of my confusion. Then it came to me.

"You're...ummm...David Duchovny?"

"You see, guys? I was right. There is intelligent life out there," he said, a thin smile appearing on his face.

[vtbub]

Classic

[Kodos]

Still under cover of the night, we coasted into a non-descript building on the outskirts of Houston. The garage door clunked down behind us, and at last we were safe.

"Don't forget to reconnect the brake lights," Duchovny told the driver as we exited the van.

From the garage, I was ushered down a hall and then up two levels of stairs. We moved down another passage, and then entered a windowless room, where I found myself face to face with my old boss, Bill Gates.

"Hello, old friend," he said, a smile spreading across his face as he pumped my hand and patted my shoulder.

"Hello, beloved former employer," I answered, my hand dropping back down to my side.

[Kodos]

"There's something rotten going on in the state of Texas, and it's right beneath Texas Stadium."

David Duchovny was catching me up on what was going on. His story was that he had infiltrated the maintenance staff at Texas Stadium following an anonymous tip about late night activity at the stadium. Apparently, unmarked trucks had been making late night deliveries at Texas stadium for some time--possibly for years. Stranger still, dump trucks had been spotted taking payloads of rock out from the stadium.

"All of this is very interesting, Mr. Duchovny, but why would this mysterious tipster tell you? You're just a washed-up actor. This isn't the X-Files."

"See? That's where you're wrong. Actually, that's where you've been misinformed. The acting thing was just my cover. The X-Files was actually a fictionalized account of my real life investigations for the FBI."

"I see. So I guess Bill Gates must be Skinner?"

"Nah. Bill had nothing to do with the X-Files. I brought him in because of what I found at Texas Stadium."

"Let's get back to that. What did your 'investigation' turn up?"

"That's where things get a little weird," he replied.

[Kodos]

By the way, are you guys interested in the little side story here, or are you really just waiting for the return of actual football action with Berg and Co.? I know the pace has been really slow, which can't be helping general interest, but it is hard to find free time where I still have enough energy to try and be creative.

[ntndeacon]

I am liking the side story Kodos.

[fantastic flying froggies]

+1

[Northwood_DK]

Is this a football dynasty??

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by Northwood_DK

Is this a football dynasty??

[JAG]

I'm curious to see where this is going.

[Kodos]

Originally Posted by JAG

I'm curious to see where this is going.

It will either be fun or completely stupid. I honestly have no idea which it will be. But it will be my tribute to another dynasty, and perhaps some other forms of entertainment.

[Northwood_DK]

What happened?