jbmagic's true identity (with video and lost the audio evidence)

Antmeister · 03-13-2007, 09:22 AM

Wow! It has been almost 15 years when they video was posted here. Had seen the original Rocky Balboa trailer yesterday and it made me think about this. Can't believe YouTube was about 2 years old when this came out and I didn't trust it at that time so I had posted it on my hosting service way back when. File size was really small but somehow I was able to upscale the video with some software and it came out looking pretty decent. Left the original text below but I am not daring to link that song again.

Over the years, people have always wondered if jbmagic was an actual person or a figment of one's imagination. After careful research, I have finally discovered who he truly is and it all makes sense.

All I can say before you observe the video is that jbmagic is actually much older than he says he is. He is 60 year old Italian American actor that often likes to play characters much younger than his actual age. He is also known for writing an amazing screenplay which has propelled his fame. If it was not for the FOFC, he would not have released his most latest movie which was inspired by the board. This was going to be the original release of the movie before he decided that it would make a great sequel to his most successful franchise.

His younger brother, Frank, was also in correspondence with me and handed me the lyrics to a song he was recently writing. If you don't want to read it, I have recorded the audio of it.

Quote:

Tried a game, AI is weak
Demo set for deletion
I won't purchase cause the price is too steep
Copy-paste all the problems tonight

So many times, Skydog on my ass
My Raiders rule in preseason
He always brings up those things from the past
What better SkyDog or RyanS?

Chorus:
It's the eye of the asswhite; Skydog fall off a bike
Will you just give me back my edit button.
And the number one asswhite seems to stalk me all night
And stevew posts with the eye of the asswhite.

F-O-F, AI not weak
Want the game, need some money
I teach CT to play poker this week
With my skill, and his will....win tonight

But the eye of the asswhite, he will put up a fight
cthomer just doesn't want to listen
And the number one asswhite said that we are not bright
And this Quiksand gambles with the eye of the asswhite

I'm fed up, this crap must stop
jbonics is not funny
Why you hate me? Is this all that you got?
Your song sucks. It's the worst song alive!

Chorus:
It's the eye of the asswhite; ass don't need to be white
I wish I could get back my edit button
And the number one asswhite writes a song that's not right
And this Antmeister sings with the eye of the asswhite

The eye of the asswhite (repeats out)...

HERE ARE THE CAST OF CHARACTERS

jbmagic
Schmidty
Dodgerchick
Lathum
Antmeister
Pumpy Tudors
flereimsaho (involuntarily)
st.cronin (involuntarily)
JeeberD (involuntarily)
Gridiron Greta

And yes....I am surprised as anyone else to discover his identity.

In all honesty, I would like to thank Toddzilla for the inspiration to both the movie and song combo since he coined "Eye of the Asswhite" in another thread a few months ago.

NoMyths · 03-13-2007, 09:24 AM

*clap clap clap*

MIJB#19 · 03-13-2007, 09:27 AM

Awesome!

Maple Leafs · 03-13-2007, 09:27 AM

Sweet jesus...

Lathum · 03-13-2007, 09:28 AM

now I see why it took so long. Amazing, just amazing. lol, glad I could be a part of it...

Antmeister · 03-13-2007, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

now I see why it took so long. Amazing, just amazing. lol, glad I could be a part of it...

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that Lathum, Pumpy and Schmidty posed for the pictures in the movie trailer. So hopefully you recognize them.

Dodgerchick, myself, flereimsaho, Gridiron Greta, and st.cronin also make an appearance.

Oooops and don't forget JeeberD.

wade moore · 03-13-2007, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Sweet jesus...

QFT

Drake · 03-13-2007, 09:42 AM

There are no words for how awesome that trailer is, Ant. You are amazing.

vtbub · 03-13-2007, 09:44 AM

NoSkillz · 03-13-2007, 09:48 AM

Words fail me.....

Just brilliant.

cthomer5000 · 03-13-2007, 09:55 AM

shocking stuff

Subby · 03-13-2007, 10:04 AM

Drake told me this is the best trailer ever - that I had to see it NOW.

Understatement of the year.

Pumpy Tudors · 03-13-2007, 10:08 AM

oh shi

Toddzilla · 03-13-2007, 10:21 AM

Wow...just woW - this is the greatest ever...unbelievably funny...

/speechless

duckman · 03-13-2007, 10:30 AM

Qwikshot · 03-13-2007, 10:31 AM

I'm amused...

Raiders Army · 03-13-2007, 10:36 AM

There are no words to say how awesome that is.

MizzouRah · 03-13-2007, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duckman

sachmo71 · 03-13-2007, 11:06 AM

you are a treasure, and a master of ants. there really is no end to your talents.

st.cronin · 03-13-2007, 11:43 AM

wow, just wow

Pumpy Tudors · 03-13-2007, 12:18 PM

"what better, you or my fist"

oh shit hahahahahahahaa

Ajaxab · 03-13-2007, 12:57 PM

Ah the memories....I miss ol' jb every once in awhile for the sheer comedy he brought to FOFC. There may never be another like the kid.

stevew · 03-13-2007, 01:08 PM

funny shit.

Terps · 03-13-2007, 01:14 PM

That's great.

spleen1015 · 03-13-2007, 01:16 PM

Excellent. Great job.

Julio Riddols · 03-13-2007, 01:25 PM

Wow. Really well done, I'm laughing may ass off over here..

Now if only this was really coming to theaters...

I'm going to watch it again now.

tucker342 · 03-13-2007, 01:39 PM

I am speechless... awesome stuff

hukarez · 03-13-2007, 02:10 PM

I didn't realize you could 'subscribe' to a thread. I think I'll start now. Wow!

EDIT: Apparently, subscribing gives you a nifty 'check box' next to your thread. Most impressive!

JediKooter · 03-13-2007, 03:14 PM

Good job.

Toddzilla · 03-13-2007, 03:31 PM

You know what would be funny and ironic? If Antmeister deleted this thread...

Fouts · 03-13-2007, 05:18 PM

This explains a lot. Nice work.

RedKingGold · 03-13-2007, 05:45 PM

U-N-B-E-L-I-V-A-B-L-E

A great parody of FOFC's official mascot

JeeberD · 03-13-2007, 06:26 PM

Holy crap, absolute greatness, Ant!

Antmeister · 03-13-2007, 09:22 PM

Thank you all for the kind words. I am glad most got a good laugh out of it.

Ben E Lou · 03-13-2007, 09:29 PM

cartman · 03-13-2007, 09:34 PM

Good stuff!

Senator · 03-13-2007, 11:03 PM

Despite my #6 ranking, your magnificence as a bastard is cemented once again.

Drake · 03-13-2007, 11:29 PM

I just noticed the mustache on the flere-Pumpy. That was a stroke of brilliance.

Ksyrup · 03-13-2007, 11:43 PM

That is not only funny as hell, but impressively made. Well done!

st.cronin · 03-13-2007, 11:44 PM

I just realized I'm in the video. I have no idea how that happened.

st.cronin · 03-14-2007, 12:01 AM

I want to share this with my girlfriend, but I think I would have to explain every single joke.

Lathum · 03-14-2007, 12:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

I just realized I'm in the video. I have no idea how that happened.

you mean you didn't pose in fromt of your digital camera with your sportcoat on like I did?

M GO BLUE!!! · 03-14-2007, 12:11 AM

oh... my... friggin'... gawd!

BYU 14 · 03-14-2007, 12:57 AM

All hail the return of the King.......Great stuff Ant!

digamma · 03-14-2007, 01:05 AM

I'm really speechless. Awesome.

Drake · 03-14-2007, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

I want to share this with my girlfriend, but I think I would have to explain every single joke.

I did exactly the same thing. I had a bunch of people at work, plus my wife, who I wanted to show it to, but realized that no one outside of FOFC would find it quite as funny.

I still showed it to my wife just because of the technical brilliance aspect, though.

(She says we all have way too much time on our hands, btw.)

Antmeister · 03-14-2007, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drake

I just noticed the mustache on the flere-Pumpy. That was a stroke of brilliance.

That was actually Dodgerchick's idea. I was trying to figure out how to show a difference between the two boxers and she suggested the 'stache. So I rolled with it.

Butter · 03-14-2007, 10:26 AM

I found myself asking my wife "which better" when asking her about which aspect ratio to view a DVD we were getting ready to watch.

Thanks to you, Ant!

Dutch · 03-14-2007, 05:11 PM

Where on God's green Earth do we go from here?? Great stuff, Ant!

Eaglesfan27 · 03-14-2007, 05:17 PM

I just got around to watching the video and listening to the song. Brilliant work, Antmeister!

03-13-2007, 09:27 AM	#3
MIJB#19 Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Maassluis, Zuid-Holland, Netherlands	Awesome! __________________ * 2005 Golden Scribe winner for best FOF Dynasty about IHOF's Maassluis Merchantmen * Former GM of GEFL's Houston Oilers and WOOF's Curacao Cocktail

03-13-2007, 09:27 AM	#4
Maple Leafs Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002	Sweet jesus... __________________ Down Goes Brown: Toronto Maple Leafs Humor and Analysis

03-13-2007, 09:44 AM	#9
vtbub College Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burlington, VT USA	LOL! __________________

03-13-2007, 09:48 AM	#10
NoSkillz College Benchwarmer Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: St. Catharines, Canada	Words fail me..... Just brilliant. __________________ MY CURRENT FM19 DYNASTY - FM19: "Ludere causa Ludendi - To Play for the Sake of Playing" - Queen's Park FC (Scottish League Two) MY OLD FM11 DYNASTY - FM11: From Semi-Pro Minnows to the EPL - Dover Athletic FC My Personal Blog - Now on the Tee - Golf, Sports, Poker, Life 2006 GOLDEN SCRIBE AWARD WINNER FOR BEST 'OTHER SPORT' DYNASTY - EHM2005: Sharpening Swords in Buffalo

03-13-2007, 10:04 AM	#12
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	Drake told me this is the best trailer ever - that I had to see it NOW. Understatement of the year. __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com

03-13-2007, 09:24 AM	#2
NoMyths Poet in Residence Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Charleston, SC	clap clap clap

03-13-2007, 09:28 AM	#5
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	now I see why it took so long. Amazing, just amazing. lol, glad I could be a part of it...

03-13-2007, 09:42 AM	#8
Drake assmaster Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bloomington, IN	There are no words for how awesome that trailer is, Ant. You are amazing.

03-13-2007, 10:08 AM	#13
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	oh shi __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

03-13-2007, 10:21 AM	#14
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	Wow...just woW - this is the greatest ever...unbelievably funny... /speechless Last edited by Toddzilla : 03-13-2007 at 10:24 AM.

03-13-2007, 10:31 AM	#16
Qwikshot Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: ...down the gravity well	I'm amused... __________________ "General Woundwort's body was never found. It could be that he still lives his fierce life somewhere else, but from that day on, mother rabbits would tell their kittens that if they did not do as they were told, the General would get them. Such was Woundwort's monument, and perhaps it would not have displeased him." Watership Down, Richard Adams

03-13-2007, 10:36 AM	#17
Raiders Army Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Black Hole	There are no words to say how awesome that is.

03-13-2007, 11:06 AM	#19
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	you are a treasure, and a master of ants. there really is no end to your talents.

03-13-2007, 11:43 AM	#20
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	wow, just wow __________________ co-commish: bb-bbcf.net knives out

03-13-2007, 12:18 PM	#21
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	"what better, you or my fist" oh shit hahahahahahahaa __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

03-13-2007, 12:57 PM	#22
Ajaxab College Benchwarmer Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Far from home	Ah the memories....I miss ol' jb every once in awhile for the sheer comedy he brought to FOFC. There may never be another like the kid.

03-13-2007, 01:08 PM	#23
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	funny shit.

03-13-2007, 01:14 PM	#24
Terps College Prospect Join Date: Jul 2001	That's great.

03-13-2007, 01:16 PM	#25
spleen1015 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003	Excellent. Great job.

03-13-2007, 01:25 PM	#26
Julio Riddols College Prospect Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bryson Shitty, NC	Wow. Really well done, I'm laughing may ass off over here.. Now if only this was really coming to theaters... I'm going to watch it again now. __________________ Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused. FUCK EA

03-13-2007, 01:39 PM	#27
tucker342 Pro Starter Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Iowa City, IA	I am speechless... awesome stuff

03-13-2007, 02:10 PM	#28
hukarez College Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Chula Vista, CA	I didn't realize you could 'subscribe' to a thread. I think I'll start now. Wow! EDIT: Apparently, subscribing gives you a nifty 'check box' next to your thread. Most impressive! __________________ ...what we have here is a man who looks like Tarzan, but fights like Jane! My VG collection \| Xbox 360 Gamertag: ManThol \| PS3 Network ID: hukarez Doce Pares International - San Diego Council Filipino Martial Arts Digest tweet tweet twitter Last edited by hukarez : 03-13-2007 at 02:17 PM. Reason: Addendum

03-13-2007, 03:14 PM	#29
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	Good job. __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

03-13-2007, 03:31 PM	#30
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	You know what would be funny and ironic? If Antmeister deleted this thread...

03-13-2007, 05:18 PM	#31
Fouts College Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: California	This explains a lot. Nice work.

03-13-2007, 05:45 PM	#32
RedKingGold College Starter Join Date: Oct 2002	U-N-B-E-L-I-V-A-B-L-E A great parody of FOFC's official mascot

03-13-2007, 06:26 PM	#33
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Holy crap, absolute greatness, Ant! __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

03-13-2007, 09:22 PM	#34
Antmeister Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: At the corner of Beat Street and Electric Avenue	Thank you all for the kind words. I am glad most got a good laugh out of it. __________________ "I'm ready to bury the hatchet, but don't fuck with me" - Schmidty "Box me once, shame on Skydog. Box me twice. Shame on me. Box me 3 times, just fucking ban my ass...." - stevew

03-13-2007, 09:29 PM	#35
Ben E Lou Morgado's Favorite Forum Fascist Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Greensboro, NC	__________________ The media don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures 54 million come wit'!

03-13-2007, 09:34 PM	#36
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	Good stuff! __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

03-13-2007, 11:03 PM	#37
Senator FOFC's Elected Representative Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The stars at night; are big and bright	Despite my #6 ranking, your magnificence as a bastard is cemented once again. __________________ "i have seen chris simms play 4-5 times in the pros and he's very clearly got it. he won't make a pro bowl this year, but it'll come. if you don't like me saying that, so be it, but its true. we'll just have to wait until then" imettrentgreen "looking at only ten games, and oddly using a median only, leaves me unmoved generally" - Quiksand

03-13-2007, 11:29 PM	#38
Drake assmaster Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bloomington, IN	I just noticed the mustache on the flere-Pumpy. That was a stroke of brilliance.

03-13-2007, 11:43 PM	#39
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	That is not only funny as hell, but impressively made. Well done! __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

03-13-2007, 11:44 PM	#40
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	I just realized I'm in the video. I have no idea how that happened. __________________ co-commish: bb-bbcf.net knives out

03-14-2007, 12:01 AM	#41
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	I want to share this with my girlfriend, but I think I would have to explain every single joke. __________________ co-commish: bb-bbcf.net knives out