Ask the CEO!

[Mustang]

Our internal website has a 'Ask the CEO' section where you can ask the President of the Company questions.. Sometimes, I just can't believe the amount of crap people worry about. Dilbert will never run out of material...


My question is related to the health classes that have been offered to the Metavante employees at no charge. Sue Emlin's yoga classes were overlooked which would round out the variety of exercise offered. Could Metavante look into bringing Sue's classes into the fold of "no charge" classes that the employee could partake in? This would make about 12-15 employees already participating in yoga very happy! Thanks for your time!


I've noticed that we recently changed our customer presentation rooms to be named after the Great Lakes. I'm not opposed to having names for our conference rooms, but for a company that is trying to establish a national presence, we continue to behave like Wisconsin is the center of the universe. What message does it send, not only to our clients, but to our employees who are spread all over the nation and the world? We aren't a little Milwaukee company, or even a regional company, anymore. The customer experience center should provide the Metavante Experience, not the Wisconsin Experience. As an "outlander", I may particularly sensitive to this, but we should also remember that most of our clients are "outlanders", too. We can show them courtesy and respect by acknowledging that the real world extends beyond M&I's horizon. Maybe we it would be more appropriate to name our rooms after *national* geographic features, one of which could be the Great Lakes.

Allow me to throw out a couple of suggestions to alleviate the serious parking situation we are having here at BDOC. First I think that we need to eliminate all "one hour employee" parking spots. Preference should be given to BDOC employees, not employees from other buildings who may have to come here for a meeting. Secondly, I think that we may need to look at reserved spaces for all first shift BDOC employees based on an algorithm that calculates where in the building you work, years of service, and grade level. As always, thank you for listening.

Hi Frank! Recently I've noticed a lot of football tickets for sale on the Post It section of inSite. Oftentimes the asking price is higher than the retail price. What are your thoughts about scalping tickets on the employee site? Even though it's a generally accepted practice, and oftentimes expected, I feel that publishing those sales on the Post It section is encouraging unethical behavior

Does Metavante have a contingency plan in the event of a bird flu pandemic? If so, what are some of the details of the plan?

When using food as a special treat, can healthier choice be made available? . My question is that when using food as a special treat; can more healthy choices be made available? The cream puffs on Monday were full of fat and sugar, and the ice cream social was a fat and high cholesterol nightmare. Can we offer fresh fruit, whole grain granola bars, frozen yogurt, and/or vegetable platters as healthy substitutes?

[Ksyrup]

Is "outlander" a Metavante term, or a Wisconsin term?

[vex]

I like the bird flu one

[Butter]

I imagine the guy concerned about the parking spots would be a long-term higher up who continually shows up late and gets shut out of all the good spots.

[Mustang]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

Is "outlander" a Metavante term, or a Wisconsin term?

Hmm.. just thought it was a common term for a 'foreigner' or stranger... Maybe it is just used up here. I know flatlander would be a Wisconsin thing referring to Illinois.. but, didn't think outlander would be unique...

I should ask the CEO...

[Ksyrup]

I'm only familiar with the term 'annlanders' in Florida.

[Desnudo]

I'm sure that vegetable platter would go over real well as a "special treat."

[JasonC23]

We have an online Suggestion Box that the Executive Director answers every few months. The most classic question of all came a few years ago when anthrax was being mailed and the government released guidelines on how to spot a suspicious package. Here's the question...

"I was wondering if the IT department could advise us whether it is possible to get anthrax from email. I know that emails are usually more vulnerable to viruses than bacteria, but it's been keeping me awake at night worrying about it."



Oh, yeah.

I give the then-ED credit, though...he mentioned that he knew this could be a joke, but he was going to answer it seriously just in case, and went on to explain how e-mail viruses differ from real viruses.

[Toddzilla]

Man, count me in on "Granola Fridays"

[Mustang]

A few more gems...

Can the cafeteria use plates instead of plastic containers for the buffets? Frank, since the cafeteria is now called “Frank's Place” I was wondering if you could talk to them about using plates rather than plastic containers for the buffets they occasionally have. Especially if you are dining in. The staff in the cafeteria is great and they put all this effort in to making the buffets nice visually but then we are forced to cram the food in to a small plastic container making it unrecognizable. I don’t know about you but I don’t want my macaroni & cheese and mashed potatoes mix together with a cabbage roll sticking out of it. It kind of takes away the enjoyment of a good meal. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks.


Has Metavante ever considered a Mascot? This could be something that could be used for internal events, rewards or contests. I was thinking something along the lines of "The Metavante Mountaineer" based off of our Vission, Mission, and Values sheet. (Note: If you are sending in questions to the CEO, you might want to checking the spelling first)

[digamma]

Our conference rooms are named after explorers. I have a meeting in Cheng Ho later this morning and one in Marco Polo to end the day.

[KevinNU7]

Hi Frank! Recently I've noticed a lot of football tickets for sale on the Post It section of inSite. Oftentimes the asking price is higher than the retail price. What are your thoughts about scalping tickets on the employee site? Even though it's a generally accepted practice, and oftentimes expected, I feel that publishing those sales on the Post It section is encouraging unethical behavior

Does Metavante have a contingency plan in the event of a bird flu pandemic? If so, what are some of the details of the plan?

I thought these two were valid and the type of items a CEO would cover in an employee Q&A

[Toddzilla]

Originally Posted by Mustang

I don’t know about you but I don’t want my macaroni & cheese and mashed potatoes mix together with a cabbage roll sticking out of it. It kind of takes away the enjoyment of a good meal. Please let me know your thoughts. Thanks.

Dear Tubby McFatass,
If you're concerned about how much food you're aable to cram onto your plate at the buffett, please put down your styrofoam container, back away from the mashed potatoes, and do some sit-ups for crying out loud. And remind me to cancel your healthcare, Mr. Artery Blocakge.

[Mustang]

I'm hungry for cabbage rolls now damn it...

[Pumpy Tudors]

I had a temp job last year at which the meeting rooms were called the "Yin-Yang Room" and the "Jedi Room." I had lots of meetings in the Yin-Yang Room, but I only went into the Jedi Room once or twice. The Jedi Room was awfully nice, and I wish I could have spent more time there.

I should look around my current company's internal web pages to see if this place has anything funny in it (besides me and a bunch of coal dust).

[Lathum]

I think the football ticket question one is valid. The parking space one cracked me up. Maybe the person who made the suggestion could go outside every hour and move his car.

[kcchief19]

The naming things after local geography I think is a valid concern too. When I first moved to Kansas City, I noticed a lot of local flack in the business community about Kansas City having a "cowtown" image. I would tell anybody who listens that if the first thing people see when they land at the airport is a gift shop with a bunch of t-shirts with cows all over them, you're going to have a cowntown image.

[Drake]

Originally Posted by KevinNU7

I thought these two were valid and the type of items a CEO would cover in an employee Q&A

In the event of a bird flu pandemic, does your company really need a contingency plan other than: "Go home and stay home"?

[KevinNU7]

Originally Posted by Drake

In the event of a bird flu pandemic, does your company really need a contingency plan other than: "Go home and stay home"?

Do you think a major corporation would actually do onlky that, ha!

[Drake]

Um, yes? In the event of a major pandemic, the company I work for isn't responsible for my health and well-being.

Now, if you're talking about contingency planning for handling essential business functions (which, as I re-read the comment, may be what the guy meant), then yeah, I'd expect them to have some sort of recovery plan.

[Mustang]

Haven't put in a ask the CEO question in a while...


Question:

Frank, What are we going to do with all the Metavante branded styrofoam cups now that we will be FIS?

Answer:

The transaction with FIS is not scheduled to close until the third quarter, and until then, we are Metavante. After that, we'll use the cups until they run out. Thank you for your support.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

I work in an IT group. We have three test servers that are used to hold the testing applications. Server names are Elaine, George, and Kramer.

[Passacaglia]

ich bin ein auslander

[lordscarlet]

Originally Posted by Lathum

I think the football ticket question one is valid. The parking space one cracked me up. Maybe the person who made the suggestion could go outside every hour and move his car.

People here move their cars every 2 hours on a daily basis (parking meters).

[sterlingice]

To be fair, aren't questions that make it through to this really lame since they're pre-screened? It's not like he's going to let the following sentence see the light of day: "Why did you get a $1M bonus above the previous year when one of our biggest problems is the customer call center and the pay scale there has been lowered and 15 positions eliminated, resulting in longer wait times?"

SI

[Mustang]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

To be fair, aren't questions that make it through to this really lame since they're pre-screened?

There are some questions that are valid and are good questions that are in our ask the CEO section.

I think the ones that are questions that a CEO really shouldn't be concerning himself with are just put in there just as 'Hey, I'll answer all your questions!' propaganda.

[JediKooter]

I wonder if Pumpy ever got invited back to the Jedi room...

[DanGarion]

On our national corporate intranet site some person posted on the message board complaining about the refrigerator and it being cleaned out.

I have a suggestion in regards to the cleaning/throwing out food in the refrigerators on the 3rd floor break room.

On several occasions, I have had my food thrown away. The food that was thrown away was either prepackaged frozen food or unopened, unexpired, prepackaged food that I brought from the store during my lunch break.

Is it possible that employees could put their name AND the date that it was put into the refrigerator on the items that are placed into the refrigerator or freezer? In these tough economic times, throwing out perfectly good food can be a hardship for many employees. I've had 3 days worth of lunch thrown out and did not have money to replace what was thrown out.

I responded telling he should bring it up to her local facilities people instead of putting it on a national message board and she got in a tiff because I provided a solution to her, and then other people thought the message board was a perfect place for people to complain about this.

[Bobble]

Originally Posted by Mustang

Our internal website has a 'Ask the CEO' section where you can ask the President of the Company questions.. Sometimes, I just can't believe the amount of crap people worry about. Dilbert will never run out of material...


My question is related to the health classes that have been offered to the Metavante employees at no charge. Sue Emlin's yoga classes were overlooked which would round out the variety of exercise offered. Could Metavante look into bringing Sue's classes into the fold of "no charge" classes that the employee could partake in? This would make about 12-15 employees already participating in yoga very happy! Thanks for your time!


I've noticed that we recently changed our customer presentation rooms to be named after the Great Lakes. I'm not opposed to having names for our conference rooms, but for a company that is trying to establish a national presence, we continue to behave like Wisconsin is the center of the universe. What message does it send, not only to our clients, but to our employees who are spread all over the nation and the world? We aren't a little Milwaukee company, or even a regional company, anymore. The customer experience center should provide the Metavante Experience, not the Wisconsin Experience. As an "outlander", I may particularly sensitive to this, but we should also remember that most of our clients are "outlanders", too. We can show them courtesy and respect by acknowledging that the real world extends beyond M&I's horizon. Maybe we it would be more appropriate to name our rooms after *national* geographic features, one of which could be the Great Lakes.

Allow me to throw out a couple of suggestions to alleviate the serious parking situation we are having here at BDOC. First I think that we need to eliminate all "one hour employee" parking spots. Preference should be given to BDOC employees, not employees from other buildings who may have to come here for a meeting. Secondly, I think that we may need to look at reserved spaces for all first shift BDOC employees based on an algorithm that calculates where in the building you work, years of service, and grade level. As always, thank you for listening.

Hi Frank! Recently I've noticed a lot of football tickets for sale on the Post It section of inSite. Oftentimes the asking price is higher than the retail price. What are your thoughts about scalping tickets on the employee site? Even though it's a generally accepted practice, and oftentimes expected, I feel that publishing those sales on the Post It section is encouraging unethical behavior

Does Metavante have a contingency plan in the event of a bird flu pandemic? If so, what are some of the details of the plan?

When using food as a special treat, can healthier choice be made available? . My question is that when using food as a special treat; can more healthy choices be made available? The cream puffs on Monday were full of fat and sugar, and the ice cream social was a fat and high cholesterol nightmare. Can we offer fresh fruit, whole grain granola bars, frozen yogurt, and/or vegetable platters as healthy substitutes?

"First, I want to thank all those who put the time in to ask questions. Your effort here has been noted. And I mean that.

Great questions. Sue, I appreciate you asking whether the company would like to subsidize the yoga class you run. Answer: Hell no.

The easy-to-remember conference room names have just been changed to a more politically correct and confusing alphanumeric system. Thank you, Employee #A126B19.

With regard to the parking situation, park and walk -- and quit crying about it -- and maybe join Sue's yoga class, chubby.

Good catch on the football tickets. How about $225 for the pair, then?

Metavante is very concerned about our employee's health and we certainly do have a contingency plan in the event of a bird flu pandemic. You should see "Bring Out Your Dead" carts patrolling every isle by Monday (assuming our cart-pullers survive).

Lastly, great question about healthy choices of snacks as a special treat. Many of you know that I'm a huge proponent of punishing people and calling it a reward (witness the extra critque and assignments any time you present to management) but even *I* don't have the balls to do this. Perhaps when they invent a thicker bulletproof vest.

So, keep them questions coming...at least until we've identified all the people who have all this extra time to ask these type of questions.

Thank you,
CEO Murphy"

[johnnyshaka]

Originally Posted by Bobble

Good catch on the football tickets. How about $225 for the pair, then?

Or...I wouldn't worry about it, you're working on Sundays from now on.

[sterlingice]

Excellent, Bobble

SI

[Mustang]

Thanks Jeff!

As honorary CEO for the day, Jeff (from security) has declared tomorrow Jeans and Cake and Ice Cream Day!!!!

*sigh*

My life has devolved into being excited about a jeans day.

[Passacaglia]

Wearing jeans would be cool, but I would not be excited about wearing cake and ice cream. That sounds more like a Pumpy thing.

And, before it's asked -- you got involved by being the kind of guy who likes to wear cake and ice cream.

EDIT: Oh, and also, we already know you're done here.

2nd edit: So please stop causing problems.

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by Mustang

Thanks Jeff!

As honorary CEO for the day, Jeff (from security) has declared tomorrow Jeans and Cake and Ice Cream Day!!!!

*sigh*

My life has devolved into being excited about a jeans day.

How did Jeff (from security) become CEO for the day? Also, who the hell is running security if Jeff is the CEO for the day? Honorary that is.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by Passacaglia

Wearing jeans would be cool, but I would not be excited about wearing cake and ice cream. That sounds more like a Pumpy thing.

And, before it's asked -- you got involved by being the kind of guy who likes to wear cake and ice cream.

EDIT: Oh, and also, we already know you're done here.

2nd edit: So please stop causing problems.

Why, yes, that is a roll of quarters in your pocket.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Mustang

Hmm.. just thought it was a common term for a 'foreigner' or stranger... Maybe it is just used up here. I know flatlander would be a Wisconsin thing referring to Illinois.. but, didn't think outlander would be unique...

I should ask the CEO...

OUTLANDER! OUTLANDER! WE HAVE YOUR WOMAN!

[Autumn]

I love imagining corporate resources being devoted to creating a parking space algorithm. That's hilarious. And they'd have to reshuffle spots every time someone moved offices or got promoted.

[Mustang]

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

How did Jeff (from security) become CEO for the day? Also, who the hell is running security if Jeff is the CEO for the day? Honorary that is.

Every year they run a series of auctions on items and all the proceeds go to the Godfather.. sorry, I mean United Way.

Jeff bid on the 'CEO for a day package' and won. Huzzah Huzzah.

Oh, and the CEO is doing Jeff's job today.

[Passacaglia]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

Why, yes, that is a roll of quarters in your pocket.

Yep. So that gets me 40 times with your cousin, right?

[Autumn]

I'd love it if Jeff sold the company to a conglomerate.

[Passacaglia]

Originally Posted by Autumn

I'd love it if Jeff sold the company to a conglomerate.

Or if the whole office was raided due to the CEO falling asleep at his security post.

[miked]

Originally Posted by sabotai

OUTLANDER! OUTLANDER! WE HAVE YOUR WOMAN!

This South Park reference should not go unheralded!

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by Passacaglia

Yep. So that gets me 40 times with your cousin, right?

ice cold imo

(but so true)

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally Posted by miked

This South Park reference should not go unheralded!

Nor shall your failure to recognize the True Source of the quote (Children of the Corn) go unheralded and unmocked, you uncultured fuck!

[miked]

Blah...Southpark iss: Corn Children, bastage

[cartman]

Originally Posted by miked

This South Park reference should not go unheralded!

Well, SP took it from Children of the Corn.

[Buccaneer]

Jeans Day? I work in high-end IT and I don't think there have been a day in the past 15 years that I have not worn jeans. I pity those that are not allowed to wear jeans or can only do so on a certain day.

[Mustang]

Originally Posted by Buccaneer

Jeans Day? I work in high-end IT and I don't think there have been a day in the past 15 years that I have not worn jeans. I pity those that are not allowed to wear jeans or can only do so on a certain day.

It's in the banking industry. If you wear jeans, the entire system breaks down.

[Lorena]

Originally Posted by Mustang

Every year they run a series of auctions on items and all the proceeds go to the Godfather.. sorry, I mean United Way.

Jeff bid on the 'CEO for a day package' and won. Huzzah Huzzah.

Oh, and the CEO is doing Jeff's job today.

That'd be pretty nice if it included the CEO salary.

[sabotai]

Yeah, I was referencing Children of the Corn. I first heard the term "outlander" when I watched that movie, so I always think of it when I see or hear the word.