Now this is what I call a drunk

JeeberD · 04-06-2005, 04:36 PM

You would have though he would have gotten the point by now. Check out this fella's rap sheet...

http://jail.lfucg.com/services/offen...p?inmateid=337

vyshka · 04-06-2005, 04:40 PM

Looks like he's a late bloomer. Didn't really get going until he was 42.

cartman · 04-06-2005, 04:40 PM

This man is a legend on Fark.

Ksyrup · 04-06-2005, 04:41 PM

Cut the guy a break...that's over 13 years!

sovereignstar · 04-06-2005, 04:41 PM

My browser just broke.

Ksyrup · 04-06-2005, 04:42 PM

Oh shit, the pics are freakin hilarious!

sovereignstar · 04-06-2005, 04:44 PM

OMG they're the same guy! That is great!

cartman · 04-06-2005, 04:45 PM

For some reason, this popped into my mind...

Quote:

Red: Rehabilitated? Well, now, let me see. You know, I don't have any idea what that means.

Parole Board Interviewer: Uh, well, it means you're ready to rejoin society --

Red: -- I know what you think it means, sonny. To me, it's just a made up word, a politician's word, so that young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and have a job. What do you really wanna know? Am I sorry for what I did?

Parole Board Interviewer: Well, are you?

Red: There's not a day goes by I don't feel regret. Not because I'm in here, or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then, a young, stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I wanna talk to him. I wanna try to talk some sense to him -- tell him the way things are. But I can't. That kid's long gone and this old man is all that's left. I gotta live with that. Rehabilitated? It's just a bullshit word. So you go on and stamp your form sonny and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit.

sovereignstar · 04-06-2005, 04:46 PM

Hi! I'm the ladies man!!

st.cronin · 04-06-2005, 04:49 PM

Anybody else think this guy probably doesn't tip his bartender?

JeeberD · 04-06-2005, 04:49 PM

I think this one is my favorite...

sovereignstar · 04-06-2005, 04:51 PM

This guy reminds me a little of Raleigh via Sublime fame.

-----
Sublime
»
Raleigh Soliloquy Pt. II

[Raleigh:] You went for line drawings and you fucked up you fuckin' idiot.

You brain-washed yourself you mother fuckin' stupid cock suckers, because

you never studied your Holy Homework. That's two capital H's there, all

the rest are lower case in any fuckin' case. Supreme Court, you are not

the fucking Supreme Court of anything, except Hell! For the next ten

thousand years you will shovel your shit and eat it, because your on

repeat mother fucker. It just started backwards and you can't do a

fuckin' thing about it. The public are gonna take back every fuckin'

thing that you took away from them you mother fucker.

[Security Guard:] Raleigh.

[Raleigh:] Yes.

[Guard:] This is the deal.

[Raleigh:] Yes, what is the deal?

[Guard:] You either cool it down right now...

[Raleigh:] Or your gonna fuckin die!

[Guard:] ...your outta here.

[Raleigh:] Oh, your gonna put me out? Well I ain't leavin' mother

fucker. Now what are you gonna do, what are you gonna do to this little kid? Eh?

[Guard:] Your gonna go to the psyche ward.

[Raleigh:] Well good, that's where I wanna go.

[Guard:] Yea, your gonna be right there. So you better cool it down. You better cool it down right now, I don't want to hear anything else out of this room or you are gonna go to the psyche ward. This is your last opportunity.

[Raleigh:] Yea, OK, get it. Let's go.

[Guard:] Shut your fuckin' mouth.

[Raleigh:] all right .

[Guard:] And don't make anymore waves in the house. Otherwise you'r going to the psyche ward.

[Raleigh:] Well, thats exactly what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna go to the psyke ward and so I'm gonna shoot my fuckin' mouth off, so get out of here. Your cutting into my commercial.

[Guard:] You understand?

[Raleigh:] I'm making a fuckin' commercial, I'm a businessman! Get out of here! Your trying to get in on this fuckin' thing, you ain't no star asshole, your just a fuckin' errand boy.

[Guard:] Your the craziest son of a bitch I ever...

[Raleigh:] Exactly...I'm an American!

[Guard:] This is the last warning Raleigh.

[Raleigh:] Good, Shut Up!

[background laughter]

[Guard:] Anymore out of you and your going to the psyche ward.

[Raleigh:] See, you lie. You don't eat your feedback.

[Guard:] You need to understand that, as long as you understand that, that's the rules Raleigh.

[Raleigh:]Whoever comes in this fuckin' room, I'm gonna fuckin' kill em! That's what I gonna do.

[Guard:] Oh are ya? I'm in your room Raleigh.

[Raleigh:] Well you've come in against...this is my room.

[Guard:] I'm in your room, I'm in you room, I'm in your room.

[Raleigh:] Back out, back out, back out. Words don't bother me man, actions do.

[Guard:] Let's do it, go for it dude.

[Raleigh:] Well if you come at me your gonna fuckin' die!

[Guard:] Go for it.

[Raleigh:] I ain't going for nothing, you fuckin' reach for me and I'm gonna take your arm off.

[Guard:] Come on. Come on! [Raleigh:] I ain't comin, you come.

[Guard:] Cool it Raleigh. You understand that? You got it? Either you cool it or your out of here, that's the only choice you have.

[Raleigh:] Try it.

[Guard:] Your gone dude.

[Raleigh:] Who's gonna enforce it? Call the cops mutherfucker! Call the cops.

[Guard:] You got witnesses right now?

[Raleigh:] No witnesses, call the fucking cops! I'll call the fuckin' cops on you, you cocksucker, right now.

[Guard:] Good.

[Raleigh:] 911 - Just like that, and you will never get out of this. [Guard:] Good. Come on.

[Raleigh:] I would like an emergency call please, there's a psychopathic

trying to kill me in my fuckin' room, now get them cops over here to

1-2-3-O-9 Ventura Street please. He is standing in my door, I told him to

get out of here, and he tells me he's gonna put me in the psycho-tank, for

making my production here. Which is a science fiction magazine! And he's

trying to scare me 'cause he thinks he's big, but he's just a big pile of

shit! 'Cause I'll splatter him all over the fuckin' wall. I hope you

record all that. That's a pre-programming for the police department! And

send 'em over here, 'cause I'm about to kill him in two seconds. Now get

'em over here as fast as you can please. I hope your recording this.

JeeberD · 04-06-2005, 04:51 PM

Dola-

Or one of these two. It's so hard to choose!

Ksyrup · 04-06-2005, 04:53 PM

My favorite pic is #59. I wonder how fucked up he was to cause that shot?

sovereignstar · 04-06-2005, 04:55 PM

You can find more info on Raleigh here.

hxxp://www.rollietheodoresakers.bravehost.com/

CamEdwards · 04-06-2005, 04:56 PM

i think 41 and 43 are my favorites.

Karlifornia · 04-06-2005, 04:57 PM

Oh my god. This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. They should name the jail after this guy.....

JeeberD · 04-06-2005, 04:59 PM

Helpless in Kentucky

Henry EarlHenry Earl has been arrested 830 times since January 1992. Henry likes to drink. Henry is a fixture in the Lexington Kentucky jail. I don't know Henry's story or why he is so popular. I'm guessing he doesn't have any family that cares anymore and only enough money to buy some cheap alcohol. I'm guessing Henry doesn't want to stop, I have to believe that Lexington Kentucky has some form of residential treatment plan that he could enter at some point if anything to save the city some money. He is an enigma, a web phenomena, been talked about on Jimmy Kimmel Live, written up in a London daily. He seems happy, most of his pictures show him happy. The jail in Kentucky doesn't like that Henry Earl is famous, every time he gets Fark'ed they get a bazillion hits making their server cranky. I'm betting Henry Earl is going to become another Mahir if it is still possible in this time of the Internet to become a net celebrity for being yourself. Henry Earl is a human story waiting to be told. He is homeless and it would seem helpless in Kentucky.

http://64.233.161.104/search?q=cache...ient=firefox-a

Arrested 830 times?!?!? That's nearly 64 times a year!

JeeberD · 04-06-2005, 05:01 PM

http://henryearl.messedup.net/about_henry_earl.html

Hammer755 · 04-06-2005, 05:03 PM

I wondered how long it would take to get from CF over here, Jeebs.

VPI97 · 04-06-2005, 05:04 PM

ice4277 · 04-06-2005, 05:06 PM

Well that just made my day

Ksyrup · 04-06-2005, 05:06 PM

Henry's Balls

I was driving home from getting something to eat and of course traffic was a pain in the ass. So there I was sitting in gridlock when I noticed a weathered looking man sitting on the sidewalk. Usually you don't many charatcers such as henry at 4 in the afternoon, but there he was. Then after a second look I noticed one of his balls dangling out of his pants through a tear in the crotch

-Kevin Hamilton

JeeberD · 04-06-2005, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hammer755

I wondered how long it would take to get from CF over here, Jeebs.

:o

wheels · 04-06-2005, 05:11 PM

He looks pretty cogent for having his head held up.

Desnudo · 04-06-2005, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeeberD

Dola-

Or one of these two. It's so hard to choose!

Can't go wrong with a turtleneck and blazer.

Ksyrup · 04-06-2005, 05:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wheels

He looks pretty cogent for having his head held up.

Weekend at Henry's.

timmynausea · 04-06-2005, 05:20 PM

For some reason the pictures remind me of bikerfox. A little less drunk, less black and a whole lot gayer, but funny.

http://www.bikerfox.com/foxphotos2/

wheels · 04-06-2005, 05:20 PM

LOL

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

Weekend at Henry's.

vyshka · 04-06-2005, 05:22 PM

He must have one hell of a liver!

Ben E Lou · 04-06-2005, 05:33 PM

Didn't we have a thread about this guy a while back? I distinctly remember looking at those different pictures of him and cracking up.

DeToxRox · 04-06-2005, 05:44 PM

This guy is the GOD DAMNNNNNNN CHAMP!

Silver Owl · 04-06-2005, 06:29 PM

I'll give the guy credit, not one DUI or DWI. At least he is a safe drunk.

tanglewood · 04-06-2005, 06:39 PM

Um.. I'm pretty sure he doesn't own a car.

Desnudo · 04-06-2005, 06:48 PM

If you can afford underwear that only keeps one of your balls in place, you probably don't own a car.

cthomer5000 · 04-06-2005, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tanglewood

Um.. I'm pretty sure he doesn't own a car.

Then he deserves come credit for no public indeceny citations either. The man is only interested in drinking.

He seems so disappointed in us here.

BigJohn&TheLions · 04-06-2005, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vyshka

Looks like he's a late bloomer. Didn't really get going until he was 42.

He is the Anti-Bush!

BigJohn&TheLions · 04-06-2005, 08:54 PM

Willie Johnson's not too bad either...

http://jail.lfucg.com/services/offen...ge=J169250.JPG

And Thomas Michael Roberts was booked for murder one month after being released on another murder charge!

http://jail.lfucg.com/services/offen...ge=R161308.JPG

cthomer5000 · 04-06-2005, 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigJohn&TheLions

Willie Johnson's not too bad either...

http://jail.lfucg.com/services/offen...ge=J169250.JPG

He's very versatile, which makes him more valuable to my fantasy team.

Ragone · 04-06-2005, 08:59 PM

He's Obviously a Kentucky wildcat fan..

they drive anyone to drink

Ragone · 04-06-2005, 09:04 PM

Dola, I like picture 59.. i think they let henry take it

DeToxRox · 04-06-2005, 09:12 PM

Why can't this guy have his own reality show?

Karlifornia · 04-07-2005, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DeToxRoxDVHStyle

Why can't this guy have his own reality show?

The Slurreal Life

MikeVic · 04-07-2005, 12:14 AM

#57 looks like Morgan Freeman.

Pumpy Tudors · 04-07-2005, 01:15 AM

I swear to drink the booze, the whole booze, and nothing but the booze!

digamma · 04-07-2005, 01:29 AM

He got out today, boys. Party in Lexington tonight!

Any doubt he's back in tomorrow? (Though I do note he lasted a full two days back in early January.)

Surtt · 04-07-2005, 01:30 AM

He is out on the streets now!

Ksyrup · 04-07-2005, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

I swear to drink the booze, the whole booze, and nothing but the booze!

LOL!

cuervo72 · 04-07-2005, 08:50 AM

The thread title just SCREAMED "Henry Earl", and doggonit I was right!

cartman · 04-07-2005, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

I swear to drink the booze, the whole booze, and nothing but the booze!

Pumpy,

I think you've found your new PokerStars pic...

04-06-2005, 04:40 PM	#3
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	This man is a legend on Fark. __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

04-06-2005, 04:41 PM	#4
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Cut the guy a break...that's over 13 years! __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

04-06-2005, 04:42 PM	#6
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Oh shit, the pics are freakin hilarious! __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

04-06-2005, 04:49 PM	#11
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	I think this one is my favorite... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

04-06-2005, 04:51 PM	#13
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Dola- Or one of these two. It's so hard to choose! __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO Last edited by JeeberD : 04-06-2005 at 04:52 PM.

04-06-2005, 04:40 PM	#2
vyshka Mascot Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Tempe, AZ	Looks like he's a late bloomer. Didn't really get going until he was 42.

04-06-2005, 04:41 PM	#5
sovereignstar Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004	My browser just broke.

04-06-2005, 04:44 PM	#7
sovereignstar Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004	OMG they're the same guy! That is great!

04-06-2005, 04:46 PM	#9
sovereignstar Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004	Hi! I'm the ladies man!!

04-06-2005, 04:49 PM	#10
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	Anybody else think this guy probably doesn't tip his bartender?

04-06-2005, 04:53 PM	#14
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	My favorite pic is #59. I wonder how fucked up he was to cause that shot? __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

04-06-2005, 04:55 PM	#15
sovereignstar Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004	You can find more info on Raleigh here. hxxp://www.rollietheodoresakers.bravehost.com/

04-06-2005, 04:56 PM	#16
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	i think 41 and 43 are my favorites. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

04-06-2005, 04:57 PM	#17
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	Oh my god. This is the greatest thing I have ever seen. They should name the jail after this guy..... __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com

04-06-2005, 04:59 PM	#18
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Helpless in Kentucky Henry EarlHenry Earl has been arrested 830 times since January 1992. Henry likes to drink. Henry is a fixture in the Lexington Kentucky jail. I don't know Henry's story or why he is so popular. I'm guessing he doesn't have any family that cares anymore and only enough money to buy some cheap alcohol. I'm guessing Henry doesn't want to stop, I have to believe that Lexington Kentucky has some form of residential treatment plan that he could enter at some point if anything to save the city some money. He is an enigma, a web phenomena, been talked about on Jimmy Kimmel Live, written up in a London daily. He seems happy, most of his pictures show him happy. The jail in Kentucky doesn't like that Henry Earl is famous, every time he gets Fark'ed they get a bazillion hits making their server cranky. I'm betting Henry Earl is going to become another Mahir if it is still possible in this time of the Internet to become a net celebrity for being yourself. Henry Earl is a human story waiting to be told. He is homeless and it would seem helpless in Kentucky. http://64.233.161.104/search?q=cache...ient=firefox-a Arrested 830 times?!?!? That's nearly 64 times a year! __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

04-06-2005, 05:01 PM	#19
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	http://henryearl.messedup.net/about_henry_earl.html __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

04-06-2005, 05:03 PM	#20
Hammer755 High School Varsity Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Houston, TX	I wondered how long it would take to get from CF over here, Jeebs. __________________ I failed Signature 101 class.

04-06-2005, 05:04 PM	#21
VPI97 Hokie, Hokie, Hokie, Hi Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Kennesaw, GA	__________________ CT & Jivin - "Surprisingly Entertaining"

04-06-2005, 05:06 PM	#22
ice4277 Pro Rookie Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Berkley, MI: The Hotbed of FOFC!	Well that just made my day

04-06-2005, 05:11 PM	#25
wheels Creative Director, Grey Dog Software Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Madison, WI	He looks pretty cogent for having his head held up.

04-06-2005, 05:20 PM	#28
timmynausea College Starter Join Date: Dec 2002	For some reason the pictures remind me of bikerfox. A little less drunk, less black and a whole lot gayer, but funny. http://www.bikerfox.com/foxphotos2/

04-06-2005, 05:22 PM	#30
vyshka Mascot Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Tempe, AZ	He must have one hell of a liver!

04-06-2005, 05:33 PM	#31
Ben E Lou Morgado's Favorite Forum Fascist Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Greensboro, NC	Didn't we have a thread about this guy a while back? I distinctly remember looking at those different pictures of him and cracking up. __________________ The media don't understand the kinds of problems and pressures 54 million come wit'!

04-06-2005, 05:44 PM	#32
DeToxRox Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Michigan	This guy is the GOD DAMNNNNNNN CHAMP!

04-06-2005, 06:29 PM	#33
Silver Owl High School JV Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Akron, OH	I'll give the guy credit, not one DUI or DWI. At least he is a safe drunk.

04-06-2005, 06:39 PM	#34
tanglewood College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2004	Um.. I'm pretty sure he doesn't own a car.

04-06-2005, 06:48 PM	#35
Desnudo Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here and There	If you can afford underwear that only keeps one of your balls in place, you probably don't own a car.

04-06-2005, 08:54 PM	#38
BigJohn&TheLions College Benchwarmer Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: New York	Willie Johnson's not too bad either... http://jail.lfucg.com/services/offen...ge=J169250.JPG And Thomas Michael Roberts was booked for murder one month after being released on another murder charge! http://jail.lfucg.com/services/offen...ge=R161308.JPG __________________ In the immortal words of a great alcoholic, "Can't we all just get along?" Last edited by BigJohn&TheLions : 04-06-2005 at 09:23 PM.

04-06-2005, 08:59 PM	#40
Ragone Pro Rookie Join Date: May 2002 Location: Kansas City, Mo	He's Obviously a Kentucky wildcat fan.. they drive anyone to drink

04-06-2005, 09:04 PM	#41
Ragone Pro Rookie Join Date: May 2002 Location: Kansas City, Mo	Dola, I like picture 59.. i think they let henry take it

04-06-2005, 09:12 PM	#42
DeToxRox Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Michigan	Why can't this guy have his own reality show?

04-07-2005, 12:14 AM	#44
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	#57 looks like Morgan Freeman.

04-07-2005, 01:15 AM	#45
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	I swear to drink the booze, the whole booze, and nothing but the booze! __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

04-07-2005, 01:29 AM	#46
digamma Torchbearer Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: On Lake Harriet	He got out today, boys. Party in Lexington tonight! Any doubt he's back in tomorrow? (Though I do note he lasted a full two days back in early January.)

04-07-2005, 01:30 AM	#47
Surtt College Benchwarmer Join Date: Nov 2003	He is out on the streets now!