Parents Anonymous, FOFC Branch

[AnalBumCover]

Originally Posted by Autumn

There's no right or wrong here. Our kids stayed in our bed for a year or two, eventually transitioning to their own bed. We never used a basinet or crib. So you should decide between the two of you what's something you both can believe in and agree on that makes the kid happy, but don't try to decide it on what's "right" or "wrong".

Solid advice. At six months I took it upon myself to use the Ferber method of sleep training, and after two nights I junked it. The wife and I couldn't stand the sound of little Ashley crying for long periods. Plus, the wife noticed a bit of separation anxiety when dropping the baby off at daycare. She never cried prior to that.

Now, using a strict bedtime routine - dinner, bath, soft music, and reading/singing - Ashley will fall asleep at lights out in her own crib. Even if she's not completely asleep when I lay her down, she's able to put herself to sleep long after I've left.

She sleeps throughout the night, and so do I.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Autumn

There's no right or wrong here. Our kids stayed in our bed for a year or two, eventually transitioning to their own bed. We never used a basinet or crib. So you should decide between the two of you what's something you both can believe in and agree on that makes the kid happy, but don't try to decide it on what's "right" or "wrong".

+1

You have to find what works best for your own family. We did pretty much what you describe here, never regretted it for a minute.

[JAG]

Originally Posted by Qwikshot

My wife wants to take our son out to Seattle possibly this fall, considering that is 9 to 10 months from now, I've been against it (we live 1.5h from Philadelphia). She just seems to lose the common sense on this topic, I'm half apt to let her go the trip alone with the baby. I think it's one of the worst thing parents can do (the stress alone can wear everyone out) unless it's absolutely neccessary.

When Zia was a year old, her mom and I flew her to Dallas for a my ex's mom's wedding, and she was pretty antsy on the flight, though I had her on the return flight and she was great until the last 10 minutes.

I wouldn't refuse to fly somewhere just because you have a baby. Yes, it's not the easiest thing, but it's doable and 95+% of the people around you are understanding as long as you're making an effort. I say this as the veteran of many many flights with infants / toddlers (both sets of grandparents far away from us).

[JonInMiddleGA]

Time to update something I mentioned last March (quoted below for convenience)

Back for another round of lab work & doctor visits, as my son's chronic pain / chronic lethargy has returned as of about three weeks ago. After a blessedly normal summer & fall, with his Vitamin D levels stabilized with a 50k unit supplement every other week, occasional complaints surfaced in maybe late November/early December, he seemed to get through the Disney trip with only maybe one day of being a bit off, but by early January he was back on a familiar pattern. Last couple of weeks he missed several days of school, bumping up his regular Vit D dose to the previous level didn't seem to have much impact (at least not nearly enough), so it was back to the lab & doctor this week.

New D levels haven't come back yet, but today got an "official" diagnois of anemia - what had been borderline low RBC, hemoglobin, hematocrit (sp?), and iron levels are now all just a touch below normal across the board.

So for now they've added about 4x the normal recommended daily dose of iron to his menu, the D supplement continues & could be adjusted when the results finally come back, and a new round of tests for a few other items have been ordered (will do those next week). He's also doing the little home test kit thing to check for fecal blood, as one of the key suspicions is now a bleeding ulcer. He has most of the symptoms for that EXCEPT no stomach pain & not even a hint of any reaction good or bad to any dietary change. Pretty much every doctor he's had since about two weeks old has suspected something like an ulcer ... but never a single bit of proof of one nor an iota of change from any of the various short-term treatments like Zantec, et al that have been tried. Also under consideration are various mitochondrial possibilities, testosterone imbalance (possibly too high combined with too little physical activity, which can apparently cause bone/joint pain), stress-related issues that could manfiest with physical symptoms, and any of the dozens of really scary shit that parents can dream up in their nightmares.

The D issues alone would account for the symptoms, run of the mill anemia would account for at least most if not all of them as well. If I had to bet, I'm expecting that his B-12 levels (being checked in the next rounds of tests) will come back low as well. The combination of any of those would account for every symptom, although there's still questions about why they're all low. One of the things that worries me most tonight is the possibility of finding fecal blood but finding no ulcer, that would be a puzzling combo that seems to have a number of scary possible causes & I'm trying hard not to worry about those prematurely. Failing in that effort so far, but I'm trying.

The one bit of good news today was that his white blood cell count was exactly dead center of normal ... that at least rules out one of the scariest things we were worried about this time last year.

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

I don't think I've said much about this on the board previously but basically since Christmas we've had a persistent health problem with Will. Long story short, he had a flu-like bug right around the holidays but never really seemed to snap back from them. Most of January & February he was lethargic, daily complaints of chronic pain (my arms/legs hurt), to the point of missing an entire week of school last month. Doctors x2, no clue. Nearly 50 different blood tests -- looking for signs of things like leukemia, lupus, anemia, etc - nothing really out of the ordinary, low end of normal for iron & Vit B but that was about it. Took a long look at whether it might be psychological/emotional, really nothing serious enough to attribute this level of complaint to.

Meanwhile, he's miserable & we know it's for real: if my kid hits the door & goes to bed at 4pm, feels too bad to even touch his 360 for a week ... something ain't right.

Got a phone call from the doctor today, looks like they've pinpointed a very likely cause: severe Vitamin D deficiency. Doc says it's definitely enough to cause the symptoms, prescribed an 8-week "mega-dose" of D (and 1 hr of sunlight a day when possible) with a recheck at the end of that, likely a daily supplement to follow.

Too soon to say for sure of course, but if indeed this is the source of the problem, it's a heck of a lot better than a lot of the candidates previously considered & that's a great relief. And then we get to spend the rest of our lives worrying about how D deficiency is sometimes a mid/long range precursor to a cancer diagnosis. Parenting sure is fun, huh?

[AnalBumCover]

Has anyone here tried using baby sign language as an early form of communication? I was talking with my coworkers about my having to learn my 11-month-old's "language", and he mentioned I should try out sign language, which was incredibly successful with his sister's two kids. Are there any low cost/free sources out there that I can use?

[Coffee Warlord]

Lost 2012 father of the year already.

Took him in for his 1 year checkup. We're out in the waiting area, he trips and face-plants into the couch there. Caught him just right and cuts his gum. So there's my boy, screaming with blood all over his mouth.

...and then I took him in to get stabbed with 2 needles. Poor kid.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by AnalBumCover

Has anyone here tried using baby sign language as an early form of communication? I was talking with my coworkers about my having to learn my 11-month-old's "language", and he mentioned I should try out sign language, which was incredibly successful with his sister's two kids. Are there any low cost/free sources out there that I can use?

We did signs with both of our kids, as did a lot of our friends. No need to spend much on resources, and really you could always just make up your own signs even. Just signing to them as you talk, they are able to pick up the signs sooner than they can talk, which is fantastic. Our kids both made up their own signs as well once they had success communciating this way.

http://signwithme.com/images/SWM_cheat_sheet.jpg

There's one example of a sheet. We did buy something that had a little list of signs like that, and then you can find pictures or videos online to show you how to do the signs. The thing is, yo'ure only talking to your baby so it hardly matters if you get it right, as long as you're consistent. But there's tons of free sign language stuff out there, so just crib it from there.

All you do is use the sign as you're talking about stuff: "cat", "dog", "truck", "food". Big ones they love of course are "More" "eat" "drink" "sleep", but you'll be surprised by some of the ways they use them.

It was just really nice to be able to understand what they needed before they were old enough to formulate words. And no, it doesn't stunt their speech. Of course always keep talking even as you use the signs, they will too.

[JAG]

What Autumn said. Both our kids learned sign language and they were both able to use it to communicate with us before they could say the words, which was very helpful.

[Coffee Warlord]

Things you never thought you'd say...then you became a parent for 200 Alex,

"We do not eat dinner with a sock in our hand."

[Lathum]

My 2 year old son has been going through a hard core Mommy phase to the point of where I am getting down about it at times. When he is alone with me we are totally cool but at soon as mommy is around he completely rejects me. Cries when I get home from work, wont give me hugs before bed, totally uncooperative with diaper changes.

This morning my wife and I were both going to his room with him to get him ready for daycare and he turned around to me and said, go back Daddy, and pointed towards the den. It ripped my heart out.

The rarional side of me knows it is a phase, but it still sucks and makes me question if I could be doing something differently.

[chesapeake]

My 2 year old daughter is going through the same phase in exactly the way you describe. If Mommy is in the house, she will do everything she can to avoid me and get to her. My 6 year-old went through the same phase in reverse. It drove my wife to tears on more than one occasion, but she did grow out of it.

Keep listening to your rational side. It is correct. You'll still feel pretty bummed out, but it will help you to find your patience and hold your temper when your son is kicking off the pants you just spent 5 minutes getting on him.

Now I just need to take my own advice. It's very frustrating.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by chesapeake

My 2 year old daughter is going through the same phase in exactly the way you describe. If Mommy is in the house, she will do everything she can to avoid me and get to her. My 6 year-old went through the same phase in reverse. It drove my wife to tears on more than one occasion, but she did grow out of it.

Keep listening to your rational side. It is correct. You'll still feel pretty bummed out, but it will help you to find your patience and hold your temper when your son is kicking off the pants you just spent 5 minutes getting on him.
Now I just need to take my own advice. It's very frustrating.

ding ding ding ding

[DaddyTorgo]

Trying to be rational - is there something that they both really like that your spouses are willing to cede to you to be "your thing?" A treat of some sorts?

And I don't necessarily mean food...but like...say...going to the zoo, or taking a bath or brushing their teeth? That way you can kind of make that your like "special time" and they start to associate you with something they like again.

I dunno...I'm not a parent. I tend to approach these things too logically probably.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Trying to be rational - is there something that they both really like that your spouses are willing to cede to you to be "your thing?" A treat of some sorts?

And I don't necessarily mean food...but like...say...going to the zoo, or taking a bath or brushing their teeth? That way you can kind of make that your like "special time" and they start to associate you with something they like again.

I dunno...I'm not a parent. I tend to approach these things too logically probably.

You are logical, the two year old isn't. There really is no rhyme or reason why or when they explode. It just happens and you go with it. They will love something one day and the next scream bloody murder about it.

[MacroGuru]

It's a phase and it happens, all 3 of my kids have gone through it and will cycle through it at all times. My 6 year old is a "momma's boy" right now while my 15 year old is a "Daddy's girl". My 11 year old is more a daddy's boy than a momma's boy but he switches it up depending on his mood.

I almost felt like as a parent I was being punished for working and being away from home. But in the end I know they love me and they do the little things that show that even though I was kicked out of the room and not allowed to get them dressed or tucked into bed.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by Lathum

My 2 year old son has been going through a hard core Mommy phase to the point of where I am getting down about it at times. When he is alone with me we are totally cool but at soon as mommy is around he completely rejects me. Cries when I get home from work, wont give me hugs before bed, totally uncooperative with diaper changes.

This morning my wife and I were both going to his room with him to get him ready for daycare and he turned around to me and said, go back Daddy, and pointed towards the den. It ripped my heart out.

The rarional side of me knows it is a phase, but it still sucks and makes me question if I could be doing something differently.

That is hard. It's definitely a phase, both my boys went through it at that same time. I was just with a kid this weekend who was doing the same thing and I remembered how that had been. They get over it. I remember distinctly when my oldest did, because I was putting him to bed and he told me, "I used to hate you and love mom, but now I love both of you."

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

I almost felt like as a parent I was being punished for working and being away from home. But in the end I know they love me and they do the little things that show that even though I was kicked out of the room and not allowed to get them dressed or tucked into bed.

We have a home business and share the parenting, and especially with my first son I spent exactly as much time with him as his mom did. And I got the same treatment. It's rough, but it seems to have nothing to do with the way your household works.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Autumn

We have a home business and share the parenting, and especially with my first son I spent exactly as much time with him as his mom did. And I got the same treatment. It's rough, but it seems to have nothing to do with the way your household works.

Wife and I both work and spend about the same time with him. I think it has been worse recently because she was away for a week for work and it was just him and I. I think it stirred up some seperation anxiety/ neediness for him. He was great with me while she was away.

[MacroGuru]

Originally Posted by Lathum

Wife and I both work and spend about the same time with him. I think it has been worse recently because she was away for a week for work and it was just him and I. I think it stirred up some seperation anxiety/ neediness for him. He was great with me while she was away.

Yeah, I am willing to bet that is what it is...He loves you, let him get his hooks back into mommy again and he will be back to his old self....

[Poli]

Checking in. Finally.

[Poli]

Ordered a rocking chair today.

Nearly got peed on. Baby wipe cover during diaper change for the win. Yesterday the little guy nearly hit me with the poop. Who knew poop could be a projectile??

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally Posted by Poli

Who knew poop could be a projectile??

Every parent.

[Poli]

1 month old today. Hit me with a little pee for the first time. Didn't realize he was peeing under the wipe until I had lifted it too much.

[RendeR]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

Every parent.

QFT!

[finketr]

Originally Posted by Poli

1 month old today. Hit me with a little pee for the first time. Didn't realize he was peeing under the wipe until I had lifted it too much.

Congratulations! Been down that path before.

My child is 49 weeks old today. 3 more weeks + 2 days until his first birthday. He's in clutchy/holding onto daddy now. So cool.

[Prinzar]

Originally Posted by Poli

1 month old today. Hit me with a little pee for the first time. Didn't realize he was peeing under the wipe until I had lifted it too much.

I've managed to avoid this with all 3 of my children. It's like a formula 1 pitstop to try and avoid any accidents, but all 3 still get my wife when she does changes

I've only just checked in this forum and noticed this thread for the first time. A brief into, I'm a dad of 3. Lily-Ann is a 3.5 year old giant with Rett Syndrome (so I'm a full time carer for her), Lewis is 2.5, also a giant, and a total monster, yet a sweetheart too. And I've also got a nearly 4 month old son, Joseph, who has just started the giggle stage after major problems with milk & soya allergies

[Poli]

I've avoided it the past two weeks but I've been out of town for 10 of those days. Love this little dude sleeping beside me like no other.

Crazy. I never want to coach football again unless he's there with me somehow.

[Poli]

And welcome to the thread, Prinzar.

[JonInMiddleGA]

About 11 hours from now, I will officially have a high school student.

God help us all through the next 720 days of class.

[hoopsguy]

Congrats, Jon. I'm about 2.5 days out on our little girl starting kindergarten.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by hoopsguy

Congrats, Jon. I'm about 2.5 days out on our little girl starting kindergarten.

Blink twice, maybe three times and you'll be where I am tonight.

But tbh, your deal is a lot tougher than mine. First day of pre-k was one of the toughest days I've had.

[Poli]

Davin and my first night alone. My wife returned to work a few hours ago. May the Lord have mercy on my soul.

[hoopsguy]

Over the weekend I got to see my daughter play in her first competitive sporting event.

I signed an agreement saying that they don't keep score, however her team lost 8-5. Addie scored three goals in the loss, and the only thing slowing her down from doing more damage was 90+ degree heat. She runs full throttle all the time (they all do at five, right?) and she was exhausted after a couple end-to-end runs on the miniature field.

So many thoughts on what the team could do differently, but since I'm not a coach I'll do my very best to just shut up and let the coaches coach. And maybe try to work on something this week after practice with my daughter to see if I can help her convert another chance or two in the future.

[Poli]

Enjoyed seeing that on Facebook. What a moment!

[AnalBumCover]

At 18 months, Ashley has now entered the "whining" phase. Not quite crying, but not exactly content either. She's really testing our limits right now.

[Autumn]

It's startling how the noises they make can just drive you crazy in a very primitive button-pushing sense. Grab hold and bear down.

[Poli]

I got pooped on through no fault of my own.

[hoopsguy]

With my five-year old daughter, the button-pushing now goes both ways. My wife has been impressed/awed by my ability to control her behavior in this manner, but it is something I feel a little bit evil doing so it is pretty damn rare that I exercise the option.

[WSUCougar]

Hey, guys. Been awhile.

My son Drew is now in the 5th grade, and just turned 11. With some AIDS awareness material and sex education on the horizon at school, my wife and I felt it was time I had "The Talk" (cue sinister music) with him. So I did.

I told him up front that it was going to be a "weird discussion" and that laughing and any questions he had were okay. I expected it to be very difficult...but it wasn't. I took the casual conversation angle, and left nothing unsaid. I asked him what he knew, then covered the whole spectrum: anatomy, slang, sexual acts, STDs, even masturbation. There were some giggles and priceless facial expressions.

Overall, it ended up being something of a transitional moment for us. Obviously, but I mean more about our relationship as father and son. Pretty cool.

[Coffee Warlord]

And on the other age bracket of parenting, poor kid is on the last push of teething, with the big back molars coming through, and not loving life.

[finketr]

matthew's 15 months old thursday... walking around everywhere.. likes climbing the stairs outside the apparment... babbles to himself.. squees like a dolphin sometimes...

totally awesome.

[AnalBumCover]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

And on the other age bracket of parenting, poor kid is on the last push of teething, with the big back molars coming through, and not loving life.

With mine being born within a month of yours, I usually monitor your posts here as a signal of milestones to come. And this post duly explains the constant drooling, the chewing of the back of her baby spoon, the picky eating, and overall whining over every little thing that she wants.

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally Posted by AnalBumCover

With mine being born within a month of yours, I usually monitor your posts here as a signal of milestones to come. And this post duly explains the constant drooling, the chewing of the back of her baby spoon, the picky eating, and overall whining over every little thing that she wants.

Yyyyyyyep. EXACTLY what we've enjoyed lately.

[finketr]

Originally Posted by AnalBumCover

With mine being born within a month of yours, I usually monitor your posts here as a signal of milestones to come. And this post duly explains the constant drooling, the chewing of the back of her baby spoon, the picky eating, and overall whining over every little thing that she wants.

dude, she's a girl.

[AnalBumCover]

Originally Posted by finketr

dude, she's a girl.

Good one.

[Poli]

Davin has been awesome. Just over 5 months old now. He's smiling and giggling now. A few days ago he figured out how to best work out in his jumper. The past two days he's spent at least 20 minutes in it jumping up and down constantly.

Best thing to ever happen to me, no doubt about it.

[AnalBumCover]

...and out of nowhere, Ashley now knows how to say "NO!"

as in:
"Okay, time to put your toys away." "NO!"
"Let's get you undressed for bath time." "NO!"

[AnalBumCover]

Dola.

My daughter ratted me out to Mommy the other day.

She was reaching out to a Christmas tree ornament, you know, one of those glass ball types. I flicked her elbow with my finger to keep her from grabbing it and possibly injuring herself. She immediately runs to Mommy, crying "owwwiee" and holding her arm. Mommy ask her what happened. Ashley points right at me and says, "Daddy."

[WSUCougar]

Cool part: Attended the winter concert tonight to watch my son, who plays violin, and the rest of the 4th-5th-6th grade musicians.

Not-so-cool part: Have you ever had to actually listen to 4th-5th-6th grade musicians?

[Autumn]

Yes, over and over and over again.