Make Your Case for Attachment Parenting Here

[Subby]

Behind the Scenes Photos: TIME's Cover Story on Attachment Parenting - LightBox

[Logan]

I'd rather make my case for being that kid right now.

[korme]

rob delaney ‏ @robdelaney "This photo's OK but it doesn't INSTANTLY give me a boner AND fill my eyes with tears; let's see another." - editor of @TIME

[cartman]

I wonder if she'd consider adoption?

[Rizon]

What the hell is Attachment Parenting? I tried looking it up online but it was tl;dr

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

[Logan]

That picture offends me. I think I'll protest TIME and their advertisers.

[PilotMan]

Momma knows best.

[Grover]

Originally Posted by korme

rob delaney ‏ @robdelaney "This photo's OK but it doesn't INSTANTLY give me a boner AND fill my eyes with tears; let's see another." - editor of @TIME

Delaney is the best thing on twitter.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

Robert Arryn seems to have turned out fine.

[stevew]

Titties on Time Magazine, but no NFLN on Time Warner Cable. What a bunch of boobs.

[Rizon]

What's the point of breastfeeding a 3 year old? Is that part of some new hippie movement? I'm not talking about the weirdness part of it, I thought that at that age they aren't getting enough nutrients from breastmilk.

[JPhillips]

Originally Posted by Ronnie Dobbs2

Robert Arryn seems to have turned out fine.

GEEK!

[I. J. Reilly]

Originally Posted by Rizon

What's the point of breastfeeding a 3 year old? Is that part of some new hippie movement? I'm not talking about the weirdness part of it, I thought that at that age they aren't getting enough nutrients from breastmilk.

That was my first thought as well, but that looks like one big ass three year old, so maybe there's something to it.

[molson]

Originally Posted by Rizon

What's the point of breastfeeding a 3 year old? Is that part of some new hippie movement? I'm not talking about the weirdness part of it, I thought that at that age they aren't getting enough nutrients from breastmilk.

Wait, I assumed that was like, symbolism or something. People aren't really doing this, are they?

[GrantDawg]

Originally Posted by molson

Wait, I assumed that was like, symbolism or something. People aren't really doing this, are they?

Yes they are. It is what the article is about. They found one "expert" to say it was ok, so it must be ok. I honestly think it just shows an attachment defect in the mother (an inability to "let go" and allow the child to grow up).

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by molson

Wait, I assumed that was like, symbolism or something. People aren't really doing this, are they?

Yeah, I think I saw it on Oprah or something years ago. Maybe even Lifetime (while flipping through the channels ... of course ...).

[SteveMax58]

Originally Posted by molson

Wait, I assumed that was like, symbolism or something. People aren't really doing this, are they?

Yes...and I intend to get in on this.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Originally Posted by Rizon

Yeah, I think I saw it on Oprah or something years ago.

It was Oprah. The 'expert' on the subject is a man that Dr. Phil calls his mentor.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

Originally Posted by SteveMax58

Yes...and I intend to get in on this.

Your mom is still lactating?

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by GrantDawg

Yes they are. It is what the article is about. They found one "expert" to say it was ok, so it must be ok. I honestly think it just shows an attachment defect in the mother (an inability to "let go" and allow the child to grow up).

Kind of how I feel about it, and what my wife and I are going through with our 7 1/2 month old. We planned to breastfeed up to one year, but her milk supply can't keep up. Our pediatrician had recommended supplements after 6 months because breastmilk, while containing super important things, isn't enough after that time. He recommended breastfeeding as long as you can up to one year, though.

So mom right now is having a hard time with giving up breastfeeding (only producing 10% of our daughter's daily intake) because of the attachment thing. She feels not important anymore, etc.

Breastfeeding toddlers comes across to me as a "can't let go" thing. But I'm really not an expert. I wasn't breastfed at all and didn't end up fucked up, though I ended up in Oakland.

[SteveMax58]

Originally Posted by Ronnie Dobbs2

Your mom is still lactating?

I'll call her whatever she wants!

[Galaril]

Originally Posted by SteveMax58

I'll call her whatever she wants!

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by molson

Wait, I assumed that was like, symbolism or something. People aren't really doing this, are they?

Attachment parenting is a fairly recent movement. I get the impression that there aren't specific guidelines around the movement in this area, but in general, breast feeding much longer than is needed for nutritional purposes fits into the attachment parenting model.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by stevew

Titties on Time Magazine, but no NFLN on Time Warner Cable. What a bunch of boobs.

Time Warner != Time Warner Cable...

[JonInMiddleGA]

From an AJC blog (where they're trying to blow the controversy up into a controversy of its own) I discover that the cover model isn't a model, but an actual attachment parenting mom. Just thought that was a randomly interesting bit of trivia.

That's actually being turned into one of the talking points: whether using a real person instead of a model makes the cover more defensible/justifiable/whatever, since the growing controversy includes questions about whether the intent of the cover (rather than just the cover photo itself) is appropriate.

[Ksyrup]

John Walters ‏ @jdubs88
Do the Oedipal Time cover couple have a reality show yet?

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by Rizon

...He recommended breastfeeding as long as you can up to one year, though.

This is what it really comes down to. The nutritional value of a mothers milk after about a year is almost nill for a child. This absurd idea that a child should be breastfeeding until high school or some ridiculous shit is just ludicrous.

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

This is what it really comes down to. The nutritional value of a mothers milk after about a year is almost nill for a child. This absurd idea that a child should be breastfeeding until high school or some ridiculous shit is just ludicrous.

I don't think even the most hardcore attachment parenting proponents are arguing that there's a significant nutritional component. Everything I've ever read about attachment parenting and heard from its proponents would lead me to think that it's about extending the connection.

FWIW, where I live, parenting philosophy can be quite the divisive issue. The "gurus" on the other end of the continuum from attachment-style parenting live here and their philosophy is taught to a significant number of new parents, which therefore creates a fair number of heavily anti-attachment people. That in turn makes the pro-attachment people more vocal than I would guess they are elsewhere. When people start criticizing how people raise their children, it can get very heated in a hurry.

[thesloppy]

Originally Posted by Ben E Lou

The "gurus" on the other end of the continuum from attachment-style parenting live here and their philosophy is taught to a significant number of new parents, which therefore creates a fair number of heavily anti-attachment people.

I am intrigued. What is the gist of the anti-attachment philosophy? Ship your kid off to military school at 6 months?

[Autumn]

Billions of kids around the world breast feed until they are 3 to 5 years old. It's not some new fad. My youngest breasted until he was four, and there was nothing weird about it. Naturally women tend to lactate until their next child, on average three and a half years.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

This is what it really comes down to. The nutritional value of a mothers milk after about a year is almost nill for a child. This absurd idea that a child should be breastfeeding until high school or some ridiculous shit is just ludicrous.

Right, high school, that's what people do.

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by thesloppy

I am intrigued. What is the gist of the anti-attachment philosophy? Ship your kid off to military school at 6 months?

Hehehe. No, it's not that extreme as a philosophy, though my observation is that it tends to attract people who are extreme and push it to some absurd limits. But it's definitely more structured, and along the lines of the parents "leading" the child more, and starting well before a year old with doing some specific things to encourage independence. It's also big on the husband-wife relationship, not the parent-child relationship, being the primary one in the household, so there's a component of being intentional about trying to free up time as parents away from the little one, both in the house, and for routine date nights. We aren't full-fledged disciples of the other end, but we did use some of their stuff. One example would be daily "playpen time." The routine immediately after her breakfast every morning was that we would put her in her playpen with several toys in a room by herself with the door closed, and she would stay in there without needing us to see us. By the time she was around 10ish months old, she would give a huge grin when we said "it's playpen time" and then she'd play happily in there for 60 minutes every day while the wife and I had breakfast together, visited, and even engaged in some hanky-panky from time to time. To a hardcore attachment parenting proponent, I'm pretty sure that having an awake 10-month-old who can't see her parents or another human being for an hour a day is borderline child abuse.

[thesloppy]

Gotcha. I can see the appeal to both approaches (and to riding the middle line, and stealing the best parts of each), in the new, hyper-social age. It's kind of an odd time to be a parent. I certainly don't want to presume that it's any 'harder', but the internet/social aspect is kind of new ground. As far as the breastfeeding thing goes, it does immediately trip my socially conditioned gag reflex, but biologically/nutritionally is it really any weirder than the fact that the great majority of us drink and eat the breast milk of an entirely different species, often moldy and coagulated, for the entirety of our lives?

[PilotMan]

My wife is at high risk for breast cancer, and every year that she could breast feed lowered her chances of developing the cancer.

The oldest breast fed until he was 2.5, the middle about a year, and the youngest quit after 9 mo. The last 2 were a natural weaning despite her best efforts.

[thesloppy]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

My wife is at high risk for breast cancer, and every year that she could breast feed lowered her chances of developing the cancer.

That's interesting, and something I'd never heard before. Also: I think my risk of penis cancer just increased. I'm going to have to seek out preventive services.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

My wife is at high risk for breast cancer, and every year that she could breast feed lowered her chances of developing the cancer.

The oldest breast fed until he was 2.5, the middle about a year, and the youngest quit after 9 mo. The last 2 were a natural weaning despite her best efforts.

Yeah my oldest weaned himself at a year. My youngest was weaned off around four years. It varies a lot. The breast cancer thing is another good impetus too. Clearly, I think everyone can agree if they look into it, we're biologically designed to have kids on a regular basis all through childrearing years and breast feed near-continuously. Doesn't mean we have to, but it's certainly natural.

[Autumn]

There are also nutritional reasons to breastfeed even after a child is getting a normal solid diet. There is plenty of stuff in breast milk that continues to boost the immune system and such even if it's not providing the basic nutrients. Eventually that goes away, at which point it's more of a nurturing thing, but it's not like there's no reason for breast milk after solids are introduced. The World Health Organization advocates breastfeeding to two years or beyond, so it's not like this is some wacky New Age thing.

[Suicane75]

The kid is about to head off to war, let him have his nourishment.

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by Autumn

Right, high school, that's what people do.

Clearly I was being a little over the top, or did you not pick up on that?

[Rizon]

Has anyone ever tried breastmilk? My friend ... Nozir ... tried it once out of curiosity. He said it kinda tasted like watered down fat free milk.

[Senator]

I consider any kid older than 3 competition.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

Clearly I was being a little over the top, or did you not pick up on that?

Well you called the idea absurd. So either you're calling my parenting practice absurd, and defending your point by suggesting it's equivalent to nursing my kid until high school, or you're calling a parenting practice absurd that nobody actually practices. So which is it?

[Autumn]

I think this thread points out the real problem our society has with kids breastfeeding beyond one. It's that most every guy here looking at that picture has a sexual reaction to it. In other words we're not able to separate our own sexual fixation on breasts with a child's interest in breasts. That's most of what it comes down to, I find.

[tarcone]

What other animal in creation breastfeeds that long? I know it is hard to compare, but dont most animals feed their young ones real food earlier than the toddler stage? Or am I wrong in that thought?
My point being, that if animals dont breastfeed that long, what is the real need? Is it just a nurturing thing? And wont that lead to long term issues with the child?
I dont know. I have never heard of this attachment stuff. My wife breastfed up until the girls were done. Both under a year.

[Lathum]

Do you really want your kid to be that attached to you? I find my son incredibly annoying when he goes into one of his mommy phases

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by Autumn

I think this thread points out the real problem our society has with kids breastfeeding beyond one. It's that most every guy here looking at that picture has a sexual reaction to it. In other words we're not able to separate our own sexual fixation on breasts with a child's interest in breasts. That's most of what it comes down to, I find.

No sexual reaction on my part. I look at that picture and wonder why that kid is sucking on his moms boob when he should be playing t-ball. I don't get the whole breastfeeding thing after about age 1 1/2-2 years old. Each to their own, it doesn't affect me or my life outside of the initial reaction when I see it happening (or on the cover of a magazine).

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by tarcone

What other animal in creation breastfeeds that long? I know it is hard to compare, but dont most animals feed their young ones real food earlier than the toddler stage? Or am I wrong in that thought?
My point being, that if animals dont breastfeed that long, what is the real need? Is it just a nurturing thing? And wont that lead to long term issues with the child?
I dont know. I have never heard of this attachment stuff. My wife breastfed up until the girls were done. Both under a year.

Most animals I am aware of stop breastfeeding much sooner than humans. My kids stopped around age 1 or 1 1/2, about the time serious teeth showed up.

[cartman]

I can't believe Time Magazine has a cover clearly showing sexual nerves.

[Pyser]

my wife says if the kid is old enough to ask for it, it's time to stop. that always made me laugh...until this thread.