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Old 11-03-2003, 04:29 PM   #151
NevStar
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The Isotopes announce a trade with LA

DT Charlie Sheen (23 C+)

for

FB Professor Frink (24 C)
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Old 11-03-2003, 04:36 PM   #152
illinifan999
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Chicago Tribune

Spring Grove, IL- As training camp winds down, and the season comes storming ahead, ZFL's Chicago Eagles are making some changes around the house. Here are the coaching staff decisions that GM Daniel Ertmann made after Chicago's dismal season following their title.

Out:
HC Red McGovan
DC Martin Livingstong

In:
Replacing HC, Vincent Steele
Replacing DC, Ajimba Haad

The Eagles replacing former head coach Red McGovan with former all-pro quarterback, and brother of runningback Randy Vincent Steele came as a shock to many. After Vincent left the Eagles for a shot in the NFL, many thought there may have been bad blood. Not so, says Ertmann. Steele's NFL dream was over last season after his current team, the Chicago Bears, released him.
Also surprising was former all-pro safety Ajimba Haad joining the coaching staff. Many thought Haad was on his way out after Chicago used their number 2 overall pick on Shut Down from Michigan. Haad choose to retire and join the coaching ranks.
Chicago looks to compete for a much better record after having such a nice draft. Second Round pick Ell Stiladiocastracaphracistocophicano had a great camp and is the starting MLB coming into the season. This has many people wondering if 37 yo Zach Urlacher is on his way out.
Also after 3rd round pick OT Fatman Jones great camp, many must wonder why he was even still available. Ertmann later said that he couldn't believe that he was available, and I'm happy we got him. He looks very good right now.

Daer Solwau- ZFL coverage for Chicago Tribune
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Old 11-04-2003, 10:03 AM   #153
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bump
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Old 11-04-2003, 10:10 AM   #154
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Marmel PM sent
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Old 11-04-2003, 11:55 AM   #155
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confirmed trade with nevstar,

tuckwe, I will check it out and get back to you soon! Thanks.
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Old 11-04-2003, 12:52 PM   #156
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Sea Biscuit Central

Portland has announced the retirement of 2 of the old guard today. All Pro cornerback Kosh has finally decided to hang up his cleats. Negotiations are in progress for Kosh to take to the announcer's booth for Portland home games.

And of course, legendary running back Antonio De La Tonio has officially called it a career. He has stayed on with Portland as an assistant coach, ready to give his considerable experience to the fresher, younger players.

In other news, Portland announced the release of aging safety Billy Jim Bob Lee Whittaker. A quiet but steady career with Portland came to and end, and Whittaker has hinted he will return home to Arkansas as a skeet shooting instructor.
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Old 11-04-2003, 01:16 PM   #157
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Milwaukee Sports Weekly

The Milwaukee Muscle Men announce the retirement of the 1st QB in Muscle Men history, Bullseye. Bullseye was injured at the end of season 3 and has tried to come back but isn't able to play up to the level he was capable of. Plus with the drafting of the coaches' son last season, he sees no way to get back his starting job. Asked what he thought of the new QB, Bullseye offered these comments.

Bullseye: He looks to have a lot of talent. I hope he can be as good as his father. I have no regrets or ill feelings. I feel if I hadn't gotten injured I would still be the starter. Things happen. But I think I will take the Muscle Men's offer to become a broadcaster for the games.

In other news, the Muscle Men cut DT- Benchwarmer to get the roster down to the required size. Benchwarmer was a 4th round pick last season that just didn't pan out.

That's it for this week. Look for a special edition to the Milwaukee Sports Weekly later this week on a preview of this season's team.
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Old 11-04-2003, 01:26 PM   #158
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Rednecks Red Faced after Draft Day Embarrassment

Knoxville Rednecks general manager Jackie "Two Jacks" Jackson faced the media for the first time yesterday after a draft day that left much to be desired in Redneckville.

"No question about it, we didn't improve ourselves as much as we wanted on draft day," Two Jacks said. "We expected Nat Jackson to come in and win the starting left tackle job and he just hasn't done it."

Two Jacks announced the team planned to cut the team's other draft choice Juco Jackson. He also announced that MLB Tucker Jackson would be placed on waivers.

When questioned about why he didn't spend his first round draft pick on defense, Two Jacks snapped, "Last time I checked, you have to score more points than your opponent to win. Our offense is still one of the most potent in the league, and we think we can score more points than most teams."

....

If anyone is looking for a C+ player on defense (pretty much anywhere), I can accomodate you. Make me an offer!
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Old 11-04-2003, 02:05 PM   #159
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Jeeber, did you get my PM?
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Old 11-04-2003, 03:16 PM   #160
revrew
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Gentlemen, nice job on the retirement notices. I had planned on doing those myself, but since you've done the work, I'll let that go and focus on other things.

Birmingham, Chicago, AQ, Fargo -- you boys have some notable retirees -- you may want to add a little write up. Artemis, Dionysus, Arkantos, Antonio, Ajimba, Jet, Jason Pepper...sniff. These guys were heroes in the ZFL's early days. I wonder how many of them will be considered to have long and significant enough careers to make it into the hall of fame?

We've still got two teams who need to send me their cuts, and some hot commodities still sitting on the trade bench. I'll tell you already, Schlereth has had to redo his predictions based on some of the off-season trading. Nice job, GMs.
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Old 11-04-2003, 03:29 PM   #161
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Retirements in Fargo?!?

As a sports writer in this town, I can assure you known of those guys played anyways. At least not very well. This team couldn't win the local flag football league, womens division. Lets hope the hapless Crawfish can win a game this year.
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Old 11-04-2003, 11:57 PM   #162
DolphinFan1
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MILWAUKEE SPORTS WEEKLY: SPECIAL EDITION

Welcome everyone to a special edition of the Milwaukee Sports Weekly. This edition will focus on the upcoming season for the Milwaukee Muscle Men of the ZFL.

Milwaukee is coming off their best season at 8-3 and hope to improve and make a run at the title.

Milwaukee had a tough spot in the draft picking 9th and needing OL and DL help. They got lucky with their 1st round pick and landed the best DE on the board. He looks to be the real deal and will be starting this season.

In the 2nd round the Muscle Men picked up a decent OG who will also start this season. He isn't a superstar, but he should help.

Then Milwaukee G.M. DolphinFan traded former starter, CB- He's not JeeberD for AQ 3rd round pick next season and DT Maximillion Powers. He will be starting also.

With their 3rd round pick, they pick up a young bench player at the OT position. He may develop into something.

Looking at the picks in the tough draft position, I think DolphinFan had a very good draft. This team looks solid this season. But with 2 rookies and a still learning QB, it could be another year before this team reaches it's peak. Still I see 9 wins a possibility. But very soon, it could get very exciting for Muscle Men football. Until next time, keep the faith.
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Old 11-05-2003, 12:55 AM   #163
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Quote:
Originally posted by sachmo71
Jeeber, did you get my PM?


PM sent.
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Old 11-05-2003, 10:41 AM   #164
tucker342
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Birmingham Press Release

Birmingham would like to announce the retirements of 5 players, all of which were on the team from the beginning. All five of these players were key in Birmingham's championship run a few years ago.

Leading off the list is one of the greatest running backs in ZFL history. 38 year-old Artemis. Artemis has been the leader of this team from the beginning. He will come back as the Birmingham Running Backs Coach. His knowledge will help 24 year-old half back Roman become as great as he can possibly be.

Next is 38 year-old OLB Arkantos. Arkantos had been one of the leaders of the Birmingham defense. He was a very key member on the Championship team a few years ago. He will come back as the Linebackers coach. He should be a huge help to rookie OLB Aristotle.

38 year-old OG Dionysus had been the anchor for the Olympians line since the beginning. He helped Artemis become one of the greatest backs of all time. He will come back as the teams Offensive Line Coach. Which is very young but very good.

The other retirements are:
33 year-old Hades - CB
31 year-old Apollo - WR


This season will mark a new era for Birmingham football that will hopefully bring a lot of great seasons to Birmingham fans everywhere!

Last edited by tucker342 : 11-05-2003 at 10:42 AM.
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Old 11-05-2003, 10:50 AM   #165
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So Rev, as we're seeing a lot of the 'old guard' retiring, when do we start seeing the ZFL Hall of Fame?
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Old 11-05-2003, 10:54 AM   #166
revrew
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The last cut list I need is San Antonio. As soon as sachmo sends me his, we'll get started.

Sachmo - if you're looking to make a trade before the season starts, hold off sending me your cuts. That way I won't start the season before you're ready. You have until noon CST to send in your cuts.
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Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
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Old 11-05-2003, 10:58 AM   #167
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And last, but not least, the starting lineup for your Portland Sea Biscuits!

QB - #17 Paddy O'Leary
HB - #33 Lothar Dirtpounder of the Here And There
FB - #47 Boris 'Bruiser' Boriche
WR - #81 Manfred von Richthofen
WR - #88 Khan Ogadai

OT - #70 Lothar von Richthofen
OT - #69 Leonardo Ruiz Al Elvaro
OG - #63 Erik Flamebeard of the Neither Here Nor There
OG - #78 Tim the Troll

DT - #91 Colonel Joseph C. McCormick III
DT - #95 Captain Bipto
DE - #72 Herman the Hamster
DE - #99 Trogdor the Burninator

MLB - #56 Sectoid Commander
OLB - #52 Zoinks McAllister

S - #24 Black Mage
CB - #39 Master Hu Li

K - #2 Bob Sunesson
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Old 11-05-2003, 11:04 AM   #168
tucker342
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Birmingham would like to announce a trade with LA

Birmingham gets:
WR Arnold Schwartzeneggar

LA Gets:
1st round draft pick next year
2nd round pick year after
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Old 11-05-2003, 11:08 AM   #169
revrew
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Quote:
Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
So Rev, as we're seeing a lot of the 'old guard' retiring, when do we start seeing the ZFL Hall of Fame?


Great question. I think this year's retirees are the first to deserve honest consideration. Even then, it's iffy. Many of these, even hallowed names, didn't have long enough careers to truly warrant HOF status.

Of course, we're getting into philosophy of HOF questions here. Is there some due given to inaugural members? The pioneers of the game? Or what about those that did or didn't lead their teams to championships? The old Lynn Swann question. (IMO, Swann should NOT be in the HOF.)

Example: Antonio and Artemis
Antonio led the ZFL in rushing several times and was the ZFL's perhaps most prominant name in its early years. But his records will be obliterated by current and future backs, because they will have longer careers.

Artemis was nearly as good as Antonio, but he also got a championship ring.

How likely are these two to get in??

If you were asking my opinion, I would give the following odds on players making the HOF.

Antonio - 70%
Jason Pepper - 55%
Artemis - 40%
Ajimba Haad - 35%
Dionysus - 20%

In other words, if we could establish criteria the way I would establish them, and if votes came in the way I would think, Antonio would get in, and Jason would be very close. Beyond that? Nope.

But then, as I've stated before, I'm a bit of an exclusionist when it comes to the HOF.

(In fact, this brings up a troubling question. I have built the ZFL as well as I could, but I see a flaw we're running into. {Should have done more beta testing } The quality of talent is getting too high. Now, do I just let it? Or up the number of players that get injured? Or speed up player digression? Or reduce the amount of talent in the draft? Hmmm....I'm leaning toward the last option - adjusting the draft so fewer superstars come from each crop. Maybe add more busts, and more breakouts in the bottom rounds to produce average players. But nothing in stone yet.)
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Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
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Old 11-05-2003, 11:21 AM   #170
Coffee Warlord
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And I'd say, if you want to start lowering talent, two steps.

1) Lower the quality of talent in the draft.

and

2) Adjust the aging drop in quality past about 32ish.
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Old 11-05-2003, 11:22 AM   #171
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after reading rev's thoughts on the upcoming talent of the draft, i hesistantly confirm my trade with tucker.
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Old 11-05-2003, 11:33 AM   #172
sachmo71
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Quote:
Originally posted by revrew
The last cut list I need is San Antonio. As soon as sachmo sends me his, we'll get started.

Sachmo - if you're looking to make a trade before the season starts, hold off sending me your cuts. That way I won't start the season before you're ready. You have until noon CST to send in your cuts.


The San Antonio Margaritas have witnessed the end of an era.
With the retirement of QB Handoff King, we enter an age where we may actually throw the ball once or twice a game. Handoff King was good at what he did, but it's time to move forward.

OG Da Man was a rock for us for many years, but he has stepped aside to allow some of the younger talent in take the lead. We want to thank him for his leadership on the field, and his huge, chick-impressing pancake blocks.

OT Not quite as Chunky has also decided to hang up his cleats. He was a core player on our dominant line for many years, but feels that it is time to open the dog grooming business that he has been dreaming about for years. Godspeed, bubble butt.
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Old 11-05-2003, 01:54 PM   #173
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Albequerque is saddened to announce the retirement of DT Captain McAllister. A mainstay of the defensive line since the franchise's inception, McAllister expressed a desired to get back to the sea life he loved so much.

"Y'arr, this precious cargo ain't be haulin' itself. Y'arr."
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Old 11-05-2003, 04:18 PM   #174
tucker342
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Birmingham Trading Block

38 year-old B rated WR Revrew is on the Trading Block(fat chance huh?)

I need:
draft picks

I need at least a C- rated, 24 year-old or under at:
MLB
FB



(same as above, just added the age of Rev, and got a little more specific with my needs)
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Old 11-05-2003, 05:26 PM   #175
revrew
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You wanna trade me? You wanna trade me? What kind of gratitude is that? I'm still the best #$#^@^& receiver you got on that lousy squad o' yours! Money-grubbin' #%$$# G.M. Does "Olympian all-time receiving TD leader" mean anything to you? Does loyalty mean anything to you?

All the same, how 'bout trading me to San Antonio? Or Albuquerque? I wouldn't mind getting another ring.
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Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL!
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Old 11-05-2003, 06:19 PM   #176
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We'd take you rev, but you ain't good enough to hang with the Red Baron and the Khan.
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Old 11-05-2003, 06:45 PM   #177
NevStar
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heh, I'll give you a 3rd round pick in 2008 for him
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Old 11-05-2003, 09:19 PM   #178
tucker342
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I'm sorry rev. Trying to get a little bit younger. And lets just say, your pretty old. Plus I have two good young WRs, so..... sorry.

Don't count out Birminham yet. Were pretty good this year
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Old 11-05-2003, 09:20 PM   #179
sachmo71
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San Antonio and Birmingham would like to announce a trade...

San Antonio gets 38 year old WR Revrew
Birmingham gets 21 year old FB Gus the Wonderslug

pending confirmation...
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Old 11-05-2003, 09:21 PM   #180
tucker342
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the trade is confirmed
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Old 11-05-2003, 09:27 PM   #181
sachmo71
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Welcome to the new era in San Antonio, Rev! Hopefully, you will help us take that next step toward a ring!
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Old 11-05-2003, 10:47 PM   #182
tucker342
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Wow I've made a lot of changes so far this year
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Old 11-06-2003, 01:15 AM   #183
rjolley
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Just an observer's point of view, but the talent level shouldn't be lowered to allow the records to stand. And the players should be voted into the HOF based on how they excelled, not just by the numbers.

This early in the life of a league, people who dominate, but started off older, should be in the HOF, to set the standard, then subsequent classes bump the bar up just a little bit higher. I think that's the way it's worked in all major sports, when they decided to institute an HOF.

So, maybe an inaugural class or two, then set the criteria after that.
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Old 11-06-2003, 02:30 PM   #184
tucker342
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I agree with rjolley
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Old 11-06-2003, 02:38 PM   #185
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I think rev meant more the overall talent level of the league needs to be lowered, as teams are just becoming too overloaded with uber talent. Not esepcially for HoF reasons, but because we're gonna be seeing teams with like...straight A players across the board at the current rate.
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