Facebook posts so pathetic they belong in this thread!!!

[heybrad]

Pulling this out of the random thoughts thread and creating a thread all its own.

We all seem to have friends who can't seem to avoid airing their drama with pathetic Facebook posts. Share them here for all to enjoy. Here is an example of someone on my friend list who is constantly posting about the pain and drama of their life. I'd suggest we leave names out but I am keeping their formatting.

"If there was something I could say to make u see how sorry Iam . But u already know that wishing u would say something to me this is hurting really bad"

[heybrad]

Here's an interesting one...

"Now the nut jobs smoking week or crack I can't tell with that room spray cover up ."

[heybrad]

and one more...

"I'm so compeld to touch my phone I'm oppsesive"

[GoSeahawks]

"Ten years of love and devotion thrown away! I can't stand the thought of my kids having a step mom."

From my best guess, I think this marriage was over three to four years ago and the official divorce was about a year ago.

[Radii]

not exactly the same but there was an article on espn yesterday about michael vick hoping that he can make the cover of madden 12 and I was randomly clicking around my desktop like I do in very OCD fashion and accidentally liked and recommended the article. I got it removed before any of my animal lover friends saw it and destroyed me. Whoops.

[stevew]

I instantly judged you

[Groundhog]

I have one noteworthy serial offender. Just picking the latest one:

"Yeah i talk DIRTY, i talk about SEX to my friend so what not like im goin around sleepin with guys, ur just jealous cos im not viet lolz eat shit bitch..."

[ColtCrazy]

I don't have a specific post, but the wife of a friend has a 1 year old she vicariously lives through by putting her through pageants.

One day she had entered into a contest on Facebook. Whoever had the most "likes" by a certain time won something trivial like a free hairbow or something stupid.

Anyway, throughout the day she constantly posts things like "Only 5 hours to go, we are just 3 behind" "Please vote for my daughter!" Several people get private messages from her to beg for a vote.

I get fed up half way through the day and pull my like from her daughter and give it to the other person. The daughter of this crazied mom ended up losing by 2. Whoops on me.

Within hours a losing she makes a post that looks like "Thanks to all my FRIENDS that helped us out."

Apparently this pisses some people off and she posts the next morning how sorry she is for causing drama.

Needless to say, I ended up blocking about 4-5 people after this. Drama over a pageant? Wow.

[stevew]

That just shows the power of one vote!

[jeff061]

Humans are a cliche. How can you stand one another.

[MrBug708]

Funny you started this...

Our Champy's a little woman now! I came home to a bathroom floor covered in dog period. :X

[MrBug708]

Martin Logan 5.1 surround sounds gives mr eargasm!!!

[MJ4H]

Originally Posted by MrBug708

Funny you started this...

Our Champy's a little woman now! I came home to a bathroom floor covered in dog period. :X

wow this is an instant hide or de-friend. what the living hell

[Pumpy Tudors]

ooh can i use this thread to re-post all the political shit i see fouling up facebook

[sabotai]

Not a specific post, but I always get amused when someone will post about having fun while hanging out with a few people, they all reply "Had a great time!" and then one person who wasn't there sarcastically replies "Thanks for inviting me."

[EagleFan]

I have no idea why I am on FB and actually check that site 2nd only to here. There are so many people that post things that annoy me.

First...
Another GREAT workout. It's not easy keeping yourself this sculpted
Seriously? You're that starved for attention that you feel the need to post this crap?

Then we have this gem...
A "great" day at the "pool", but "every" day is a great "day" at "the pool", it's good to "be" me.
I don't know what's worse, that this jackass lucked into marrying into money, that he feels the need to let everyone know it or that he has no fucking clue how to use quotes. Another friend (one that is ctually a good friend) also has this guy as one of his friends (we went to school together and it's a small class); I randomly take this guy's posts and PM them to my other friend with the actual interpretation based upon his use of quotes.

From the above guy in response to my friend posting a picture of his wife and kids...
Nice "family" you've got there.
Interpretation... nice picture but I am sure it is just like the default picture that comes from a picture frame, there is no way that you could have a real family.

Paraphrase of almost ever post from someone that I really like as a person but she gets insane over facebook...
Why does the world hate me? Everything bad always happens to me.
She's not like that in person, I just don't get it. She has some serious issues if these are her real feelings. Tried to talk to her about it but she just blows it off.

[heybrad]

Here's a pleasant one.

"I hope you die."

[stevew]

My wife's aunt's greatest hits today.

TAKING A NAP ITS RAINING OUT
SUN OUT BUT THUNDERING WTF
NEWS SAID MOSTRAIN IN APRIL,WE SHOULD HAVE LOTS OF FLOWERS THIS MAY
OH CAP LOKES IS EASYER FOR MY ARM SORRY

[Young Drachma]

Oh this thread was long, long overdue.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by stevew

OH CAP LOKES IS EASYER FOR MY ARM SORRY

FTW

[JonInMiddleGA]

I really don't think I could even come close to picking just one or two, I'd end up setting the record for supermegadola posting.

More than the unnecessary drama posts though, I'm getting half past annoyed by the new "Question" feature or whatever the hell they're calling the poll thingy. Not a single one of them I've seen has included Trout as an option, so wth good are they anyway?

[MrBug708]

My new baby I love my new G ride lol

dunkadunkadunnnnnnk, drink..

[Young Drachma]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

I really don't think I could even come close to picking just one or two, I'd end up setting the record for supermegadola posting.

More than the unnecessary drama posts though, I'm getting half past annoyed by the new "Question" feature or whatever the hell they're calling the poll thingy. Not a single one of them I've seen has included Trout as an option, so wth good are they anyway?

Those would be awesome. People would keep asking "Trout? Why do you always put that in those polls?

[RainMaker]

Just run a search for anything remotely confrontational.

Openbook - Connect and share whether you want to or not

[Karlifornia]

My aunt posts a lot of religious stuff that I just roll my eyes at, but she's always been nice to me so I don't take too much issue with it.

There's some girl I'm facebook friends with that constantly lets everyone what she's doing with her boyfriend. It never really wavers. She says how they're in the tropics, and she'll let everyone know that they're getting a burrito down the street, too. I can't tell if it pisses me off because I used to want to fuck her, or just because it makes her seem like a self-important airhead.

Then, there was this couple that are both my facebook friends. They would break up and get back together once a week, and they'd both update their relationship status every time. That resulted in "Oh no! Hang in there!" and "Love is so great" posts from people every time. The guy finally knocked her up and they constantly update their statuses with "I love you so much" to each other. Do they not know how much they suck?

[SackAttack]

Karl, maybe they know exactly how much they suck and they're doing it with the express purpose of pissing you off.

Because that's the alternative to not knowing, really.

[RainMaker]

Karlifornia basically described why I don't use Facebook anymore and have no intention to.

I had one friend who did the same thing with his girlfriend/fiance. Every other week their relationship status changed, everyone had to say some crap like "stay strong, etc". Then a week later they were back together. When they'd fight they'd also leave cryptic messages on their facebook. Shit like "it sucks when the person you thought you trusted the most turns out to not trust you". I just don't fucking care to have that shit in my face.

The other is the person who needs to brag about something constantly. Either it's a proud parent who updates non-stop about every little thing their kid is doing. "Wiping the baby's ass", "Baby just puked, ewww".

Or one who was married to a guy who became a police officer. All of a sudden her entire Facebook existence turned to joining every police officer group known to man and commenting on every single fallen officer ever. One day her brother-in-law who is a bit of a goof made a silly joke after she was updating her shit with a ton of stuff. He just wrote "we get it Cindy, you're married to a police officer" with a smile at the end. She flipped the fuck out over it.

[SteveMax58]

Originally Posted by RainMaker

Karlifornia basically described why I don't use Facebook anymore and have no intention to.

+1

I dont have an account but my wife does and the bit about the police officer's wife thing is very true for some of the people she knows. I like that joke from the B-I-L...sounds like something I'd do.

Also...all of my old friends from my high school & shortly after years usually friends my wife on there. One such old friend uses it as a blog to profess his love for his girlfriend (or wife maybe IDK) constantly. Really obnoxious stuff...I really need to find some of those and post them.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by RainMaker

Karlifornia basically described why I don't use Facebook anymore and have no intention to.

Y'know, if everyone you know on FB annoys you like what Karl describes, maybe the problem isn't FB per se but rather how you've chosen to manage your friends list over there.

Everybody's wall gets a jaw-clinching eyeroller occasionally, I get that. But to be driven off FB by the weight of them kind of reminds me of folks who used to spend hours bitching about the game notifications/requests when it was quite a simple matter to make them disappear.

[RainMaker]

That's just part of it. The main reason is probably that I am just a private person. I don't want my ex-gf to know who I'm dating. I don't want my family to read about how I got blasted on a Friday night at a strip club. I'm not a recluse or anything, but I enjoy having that bit of privacy in my life. Yes I could be real careful who I allow in and what I read/don't read, but it's more of a hassle at that point. I feel like Facebook was almost created for people looking for attention (which is something I try to avoid).

What it boils down to is what I'm getting out of it. The only thing I do enjoy about it is hearing from people I don't talk to regularly. Finding out my old roommate from college is having a baby, or an old friend's Mother passed away. Important stuff that might not have gotten to me had it not been for Facebook. But that seems to make up about 1% of the stuff going on there and there is just far too much noise to make it a productive use of my time.

[Suburban Rhythm]

I have one "friend" who I seriously want to hunt down and beat.
She has about 1,500 "friends", and updates her status every 3 minutes.

All her posts are of this variety-

"I've finally realized that when you tell a person you'll always be there for them, that doesn't mean they'll always be there for you"

"I've learned the hard way there is no such thing as a pain killer...the best you can hope for is a pain-postponer"

But this is the best-- in her bio:

"Whatever you give a woman she will make greater. Give her sperm, she will make a baby. Give her a house, she will make a home. Give her a smile, she will give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what she is given. So if you give her any crap, BE READY!"

And-

She's a single mother, so she whines alot about not having "someone". But her picture is her in a wedding dress...to my knowledge, she was never actually married to the father.

[PackerFanatic]

I love the people who think they are being so thoughtful and mind-blowing when the post the statuses from places like StatusShuffle. Better still than those people are the people that comment on those statuses acting as if they are real posts.

[Ronnie Dobbs2]

If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve to see me at my best.

[mauchow]

This is a variation of the same freakin' thing twice a week from my old neighbor..

"Pondering how someone can say they are your friend and will always be there for you, but when you need them most, they let you down. Guess I set my expecations WAY TO HIGH....On that note, I'm off to bed...Good Night FB friends!"

[Suburban Rhythm]

I got de-friended by a group of people over this

A girl I worked with for a long time (over 6 years) loves to get in on the stupid "banana" or "on the table" or any of these stupid inside jokes.

I told her it was dumb, she said "It's to raise awareness for breast cancer, it's not dumb!"

"Ummmm...you know what would raise awareness for breast cancer? Actually posting something about breast cancer, and not a random fruit. All that makes me aware of is you are an idiot!"

She, and consequently about 5 "mutual friends" de-friended me.

[lungs]

Other farmers that are constantly posting stuff about how people should kiss our ass because we are farmers.... It's worse on Twitter.

edit: or people in general that post about how we should kiss their ass because of their occupation

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by stevew

My wife's aunt's greatest hits today.

TAKING A NAP ITS RAINING OUT
SUN OUT BUT THUNDERING WTF
NEWS SAID MOSTRAIN IN APRIL,WE SHOULD HAVE LOTS OF FLOWERS THIS MAY
OH CAP LOKES IS EASYER FOR MY ARM SORRY

Your aunt, the all-caps poet.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by lungs

Other farmers that are constantly posting stuff about how people should kiss our ass because we are farmers.... It's worse on Twitter.

I'll vouch for that, and the blogosphere trumps even Twitter.

(had to follow some of those folks for a client for a while, sheesh, made me look like a flaming moderate)

[lungs]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

I'll vouch for that, and the blogosphere trumps even Twitter.

(had to follow some of those folks for a client for a while, sheesh, made me look like a flaming moderate)

A lot of farmers do have quite the martyr complex.

I keep that kind of crap out of my blog. All it does is attract the opposition anyway.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Another recent favorite, this just cracked me up:

(To set up, friends with a girl who was a year behind me in school, lived up the street from my parents, her parents are still there. Known each other for 30 years. Her mom and dad just recently joined FB.)

Mom posts on daughters wall-

'K....dad had a kidney stone attack, going to hospital by ambulance'

It was a Saturday, posted about 7 am.

About 10am or so, daughter responds

'Mom...is this for real? On Facebook??'

Mom "Oops, sorry...I thought I was sending you a private message"

WTF...even if you did think it was a private message....a call or a text to her cell wouldn't have been a better option? Who think Facebook is the best method to contact someone!?!?!

[jeff061]

I don't understand why you would ever send a private message in Facebook. Isn't email simply easier? I've had people send me private messages in Facebook. I never ever use my Facebook account, annoys me.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

WTF...even if you did think it was a private message....a call or a text to her cell wouldn't have been a better option? Who think Facebook is the best method to contact someone!?!?!

One of the more reliable methods lately, especially when people aren't answering their phones because they're on FB.

[Young Drachma]

Originally Posted by jeff061

I don't understand why you would ever send a private message in Facebook. Isn't email simply easier? I've had people send me private emails in Facebook. I never ever use my Facebook account, annoys me.

Well, their new integrated messaging system actually gives you an @facebook.com email account. I've had mine for a few months now and while I don't give it out, it's useful in the sense that I can reply to facebook notes straight from email as if they're emails and all conversations -- chat, messages and emails -- are kept together, which is sorta handy.

But only if you're some kind of user of the utility obviously.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by jeff061

I don't understand why you would ever send a private message in Facebook. Isn't email simply easier? I've had people send me private emails in Facebook.

That one is pretty easy to explain I think, the majority of ppl I communicate with on FB aren't people that I've ever swapped email addresses with. Plus, FB is more likely to be open for at least some users.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

One of the more reliable methods lately, especially when people aren't answering their phones because they're on FB.

Meh, maybe with a distant friend or something. But her Mom? If she didn't respond to the FB post in about 15 minutes, maybe a text or phone call would have been in order. Especially at 7am.

It just screamed of "i'm telling you, but really I want to tell everyone"

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

Meh, maybe with a distant friend or something. But her Mom? If she didn't respond to the FB post in about 15 minutes, maybe a text or phone call would have been in order. Especially at 7am.

Depends upon the urgency of the news I guess. If kidney stones aren't anything new to the poor guy, it probably isn't his first trip to the ER with one. What I really suspect though is that she didn't me private msg in the sense that it appeared in her FB inbox, but rather that she thought posting it to her daughter's wall would be visible only to the daughter. That's a mistake I see made probably once or twice a week.

It just screamed of "i'm telling you, but really I want to tell everyone"

Thing is, I really don't have a problem with that. I could name at least three non-family members that I can tell you pretty much every time they've had a stone in the past year. Not to mention gall bladder attacks, and more "female surgeries" than I care to count (which is one that I do think crosses into TMI, at least at the level of detail I've seen on various walls).

[Dodgerchick]

"BOY'S GETTIN THERE HAIRCUT..."

[jeff061]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

That one is pretty easy to explain I think, the majority of ppl I communicate with on FB aren't people that I've ever swapped email addresses with. Plus, FB is more likely to be open for at least some users.

Ah, true, didn't think of that. Everyone I am remotely interested in communicating with I have their email address. But luckily I am not indicative of the social populace at large.

[JediKooter]

I'm with Karl, I get really tired of all the religious posts. Are you that insecure that you have to let everyone know that jesus has a plan for you? Jesus is helping you lose weight, etc, etc, on and on...I really feel like I should start posting that satan is now helping me out with the most trivial things in life like getting up in the morning to go to work, you know, because he has a plan.

[jeff061]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

.I really feel like I should start posting that satan is now helping me out with the most trivial things in life like getting up in the morning to go to work, you know, because he has a plan.

This is how I act. It's very isolating.