Hoarders

[RainMaker]

Has anyone seen this show on A&E? I'm not a reality TV fan but this show is fascinating to me. Similar to the Intervention show, it comes across so real.

I find myself torn from episode to episode on the people. I understand it's a mental illness and that some people just can't get rid of stuff. You can point these people out clearly on the show and sympathize with them and their families. They just don't understand that the newspaper from 10 years ago has no value any longer. That part of their brain doesn't work right.

On the other hand, some of the people I question whether it's hoarding or just laziness/slobs. I can understand the hoarding of items, but the ones who are living in their own fecal matter and just downright disgusting environments is odd. I guess that's mental in a way but I sometimes don't understand how hoarding has anything to do with disposing of your own shit.

Probably the most infuriating to me though are the ones who lose their young kids. Your kids are taken away from you, living in a foster home now, and that switch in your brain really doesn't tell you to throw out those old cereal boxes?

I'm interested in the psychology and biology behind these people. I'm wondering if they are all truly mentally ill or if some are just really fucking lazy.

[MizzouCowboy]

Love the show and we'll watch it if we remember it is on.

I'm with you on this, I can't decide if it is just laziness or a mental disorder. Wife says it has to be mental and I think it's gotta be a little of both. When all you have is a small path to get from room to room and there is shit piled up to the ceiling on both sides of the path, I'd think that something might tell ya to start cleaning the freaking house. I'm sure once it gets as bad as some of the houses on the show is must be an overwhelming feeling, as if there is no place to even start. But hey, the longest march started with a single step.

What really surprises me is who signs up for this show? Where to they find these people? I'd think people would be too humiliated to even consider letting cameras into their home in that condition.

Best thing about the show? My wife goes on a cleaning frenzy every time she watches it.

[lighthousekeeper]

My professional diagnosis: 100% mental illness.

Who would sign up for the show: on this episode, for one segment the adult children signed up on behalf of their mother. The show is probably a godsend for them as a chance to resolve what must be a very frustrating situation.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

It's all mental.

They sign up for the show because they know they have an issue but don't have the ability to break the cycle without some sort of an intervention.

My mother-in-law was a hoarder/shopaholic. She would pile stuff up. I spent three weeks cleaning up their home while she was sick in the hospital. She was so thrilled when she came back and the house was open and beautiful, but she fell back into her old ways and started buying again. She passed away a couple of weeks after she got home, so she didn't have time to fill the home again. I spend another week cleaning everything back up and my father-in-law has kept it nice ever since.

[Qwikshot]

Originally Posted by MizzouCowboy

Best thing about the show? My wife goes on a cleaning frenzy every time she watches it.

This happens to me too, I was watching the block from last season and that weekend, I cleared three bags worth of clothes, put the DVDs back, cleared out some boxes, disassembled and disposed of a couch/love seat that was too nasty to be donated.

I want a bigger house (one with storage), but this show has forced me to get my tail in gear when it comes to cleaning. And I consider myself a neat-freak.

[lungs]

This show convinced me to hire a maid since I'm too lazy/busy to do it myself.

[Qwikshot]

Originally Posted by lungs

This show convinced me to hire a maid since I'm too lazy/busy to do it myself.

Yeah but there is a massive difference.

I saw the episode where the woman had the illness and the state had taken her kids, she had this one chance to win them back and failed, she just couldn't get rid of things.

The husband was rather hen-pecked, and they didn't go into whatever "marital problems" sparked the onset of the illness.

I just recall her in the back of the 1-800-Got-Junk truck (nice advertising) and deciding that a Slurpee cup was too valuable to throw away.

Needless to say she didn't get her kids back and her husband divorced her (and got custody of one of the kids but not the other - I found that odd too). Of course, she didn't elicit any sympathy from me, if you can't decide between a slurpee cup and your kids, then you don't deserve your kids until you can tell the difference (if ever).

I

[Calis]

There is no way I can believe this is pure lazyiness. Its definitely mental. I consider myself as pretty damn lazy and am bad about throwing stuff away, but there is quite a difference there. That doesn't happen because you don't feel like cleaning.

I've never seen the show and I think it would depress me. I tend to feel sorry more than disgust for things like this.

[miami_fan]

I don't have many shows that I look for to every week but this is one of them. Absolutely amazing.

[Doug5984]

This is high on the priority list in the DVR- I love this show.

I mean most of the people are clear cut mentally ill can't throw anything away, and all of them do have serious problems... but the ones who live in their own feces, can't throw away cans, or bottles- to me I just can't fathom that there is not some lazy in there.

I always imagine what the first piece of trash to stay on the floor was. When they bought the house, it was clean... they add stuff, but what was the first plastic bottle, empty coke can, what was the first thing to stay on the ground and never be picked up- to me that is the most fascinating thing.

[Doug5984]

Also- where do they get the money to buy all this stuff, it's normally a big house- they don't have great jobs, but their houses are full of stuff. I couldn't fill my house with that much stuff if I wanted.... I'd be broke about halfway through filling up one guest room.

[hhiipp]

Originally Posted by Doug5984

Also- where do they get the money to buy all this stuff, it's normally a big house- they don't have great jobs, but their houses are full of stuff. I couldn't fill my house with that much stuff if I wanted.... I'd be broke about halfway through filling up one guest room.

Some of the ones I've seen have shown the person dumpster diving or hitting yard sales. Not expensive to fill your house up with junk if it costs you nothing or close to it.

[the_meanstrosity]

I actually know someone who has this disorder. I've seen them recover from it only to fall back into it a decade later. It is definitely a mental disorder.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I don't have to see the show. I'm living at my mom's place. She is a hoarder.

I am trying to get some things done at her house. Her garage is amazing... half of it seems to be full of empty cardboard boxes. Everything from the TV box from her Christmas gift about 5 years ago to boxes from things at my sister's place. One of the large boxes I have now filled with plastic bags she is saving.

She has an excuse for why she has to keep everything.

Her basement gets water in it & smells musty. It is so full of junk that you can barely walk thru it. Why does she need a hamper that hasn't been used in 20 years? A lift chair that was my grandmother's (died in '99.) A lifetime supply of egg noodles. I tripped over a basket & cursed. She asked what was the matter "I tripped over a damn easter basket. Why do you have an easter basket anyway?" She looked at it & informed me that it was not an easter basket, but a basket that was used in my sister's wedding. A week later I found the easter baskets... including the fake grass still in them!

How the hell do you snap a hoarder back into reality when they have an excuse for EVERYTHING? I'm going crazy here.

[Julio Riddols]

My favorite episode was the one with the guy who had all the rats. He reminded me of "The Dude" from The Big Lebowski, and he had a pretty legitimate reason behind why he had such a hard time letting go of things he loved. He still ended up letting the humane society or whoever take all of them except 2 I think, but he broke down and cried at the end, one of the saddest scenes I have seen on the show.

[ColtCrazy]

To be honest, I can't watch the show because it brings back too much of my childhood. My mother is a hoarder, and I remember constantly wondering why certain things were always kept. Looking back, I know now that it was kept in check to some extent. When I moved out, it got progressively worse. Dad worked full time and just didn't want to deal with it when he got home. Where I live I can often put things by my back fence that faces a country road and people will pick things up. I've seen several things I've tried to throw away for free end up at my parents house. Another time, I gave my dad a bag of clothes to drop off at good will and he ended up picking up a bag of clothes that were worn, ripped, or otherwise unusable. A week later my mom asked if I wanted her to fix an old football jersey I tried to throw out. She has months worth of magazines and newspapers that she wont throw away until she reads each article. It's sort of funny to hear her ask if I heard about so-and-so football player from an article that was written months ago. My wife generally gets yard sale finds from my parents for Christmas. My wife will also swear that's why I suck at housework. I never knew what a clean house was and I can live with things being okay. But I do get fits where i need to throw things out. Clutter bothers me.

My mother and I have a cool relationship on the best of days. I've often asked why she needs this broken yard toy for the kids when she already has of them. There's no changing her mind and my wife and I realize that if she passes before dad (which is possible because the hoarding lead to mold before they remodeled their house and that led to chronic bronchitis) then we will be the ones to clean it all up. Just a sad, albeit weird, situation.

[PilotMan]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

I don't have to see the show. I'm living at my mom's place. She is a hoarder.

I am trying to get some things done at her house. Her garage is amazing... half of it seems to be full of empty cardboard boxes. Everything from the TV box from her Christmas gift about 5 years ago to boxes from things at my sister's place. One of the large boxes I have now filled with plastic bags she is saving.

She has an excuse for why she has to keep everything.

Her basement gets water in it & smells musty. It is so full of junk that you can barely walk thru it. Why does she need a hamper that hasn't been used in 20 years? A lift chair that was my grandmother's (died in '99.) A lifetime supply of egg noodles. I tripped over a basket & cursed. She asked what was the matter "I tripped over a damn easter basket. Why do you have an easter basket anyway?" She looked at it & informed me that it was not an easter basket, but a basket that was used in my sister's wedding. A week later I found the easter baskets... including the fake grass still in them!

How the hell do you snap a hoarder back into reality when they have an excuse for EVERYTHING? I'm going crazy here.

I really feel for you man. I am going through some of the same stuff with my mom right now too. I grew up with a messy house and didn't think that much of it, but as I've grown and married, and looked back at her total inability to get rid of anything it makes me wonder.

I've confronted her about it this year, because she wants to get it better, but she won't get rid of anything. She just wants more storage in her house so it isn't a mess. She is a single woman living in a two bedroom condo with the crap of a 3 bedroom house. When we moved, when I was in HS, we found boxed that hadn't been unpacked since my parent's divorce. We I moved out, she had an entire room that was never unpacked. And now, almost 8 years later, here, she has another room that she just can't unpack.

She hoards food like crazy. Her freezer is completely full, there is no room in it. She has canned food from over 10 years ago. She has to store food on the counters because the pantry is overflowing.

It's frustrating. As an only child, there isn't anyone to back me up on this except my wife, who already tried this path with her, and said she wouldn't do it again. So, I try, but she get's upset, cries, thinks I'm calling her crazy, and generally behaves like a scolded little kid. I don't know what to do either M. I feel for you.

[PilotMan]

On a side note, I was shocked to see that one of the Psychologists that they had in from a couple of years ago, was a girl that I did undergrad with back at NDSU. I thought that was totally cool.

[Izulde]

I love the show. I always watch an episode when I feel myself starting to slip back into old habits (I have hoarder tendencies) and it gives me the kick in ass I need to do some cleaning.

[Schmidty]

I am the opposite of a hoarder. I moved a million times (17 different schools, etc.), and just never got attached to things. I don't have anything from before I got married other than my cat, and that includes thins like my diploma, old pictures, and things like that. I just don't care. I actually throw stuff away all the time if I notice any clutter, and it drives my wife crazy.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

...She hoards food like crazy. Her freezer is completely full, there is no room in it. She has canned food from over 10 years ago. She has to store food on the counters because the pantry is overflowing.

It's frustrating. As an only child, there isn't anyone to back me up on this except my wife, who already tried this path with her, and said she wouldn't do it again. So, I try, but she get's upset, cries, thinks I'm calling her crazy, and generally behaves like a scolded little kid. I don't know what to do either M. I feel for you.

Oh my God... The food.

My mother is a single woman. She has a second freezer. Both are packed so full she can't make ice cubes. Last week I pulled out some cole slaw. It had that taste like it was just about to go bad. A couple days later I see it in the fridge & the top was bowed up. Obviously it was time to throw it out. I pulled it out & left it on the counter all day long. She comes home, sees it, tells me I left it out. I tell her why. A few days later I see it on the bottom shelf, hidden behind other food. Then I see her eating it a few days later. When I ask what she's doing: "It's still good!"

She bought raspberries at the farmers market. A good deal, at $1/container. "Can I get 12 for $10?" The guy was thrilled. They were at the end of their shelf life. I ask why she needs 12 of them: "I like them on my cereal." Now, even if you put a whole container on your cereal in the morning, you would have nearly a two week supply. They went sour within three days.

There are two watermelons on the counter.

If something is on sale or on the reduced shelf at the supermarket, she buys it.

Enough about the food...

When I was moving back, mom bragged about how much she was cleaning up & how she cleared out a whole closet for me & a whole dresser too. The closet was a little more than half cleared out, but only the rack. The stuff on the floor is still there as is all the stuff on the shelf. Most of the dresser drawers were cleared out, but not all. 2/3 of it was cleared off the top. The pile of papers & other miscellaneous stuff is still there.

I never would have thought she would get like this. When we were young, mom was always complaining about all the crap my grandmother kept. My aunt (father's sister) had a hoarder boyfriend that was one of those guys you hear about that has a SERIOUS problem. When he died my aunt had been washing up in the sink for years because of all the stuff in the tub. The place had little trails thru it & all the doors were off the hinges. To get to his lair upstairs you had to crawl over stuff, as the stairs were no longer visible under a couple feet of junk.

I have been trying to help since I moved back a month ago. My stuff here is at a minimum. I went thru all my junk that was here & took most of it to the Salvation Army, sold it on Craigslist or threw it out. On almost everything I heard that it was still good & why would I get rid of it. I'd have to point out why, explaining that if I'm not going to use something, I'm not in a position to keep it. Most of my stuff is in storage, fitting neatly in an 8x10 room.

[Apathetic Lurker]

Originally Posted by Schmidty

I am the opposite of a hoarder. I moved a million times (17 different schools, etc.), and just never got attached to things. I don't have anything from before I got married other than my cat, and that includes thins like my diploma, old pictures, and things like that. I just don't care. I actually throw stuff away all the time if I notice any clutter, and it drives my wife crazy.

I moved around a lot when I was young but have a bit of the hoarder in me probably stemming from the fact that I basically had nothing when I was growing up and now actually have cash to buy what I want. But every 6 months or so I go on a semi cleaning frenzy and clear out crap I have no use for and never will.......

[Ksyrup]

I love the show, but most of why I watch it is to get some sense of understanding. My aunt was a hoarder, and over 500 lbs. She died alone in her hoarded apartment at some point over Thanksgiving in 2004. My uncle who still lived in Michigan found her. We went up shortly after to help clean up, and it was awful. All of us still have a huge amount of guilt that she not only lived like that for so long, but that she died in it.

[stevew]

re:Food

I think to some extent anyone over 50ish is probably going to eat/save things that we would never. My mom will keep the milk a few days after the expiration date, and act all appalled if I come over and freak out. They come from a totally different era, where food was so much more natural.

I go over a few weeks ago on a saturday, and my dad is eating meatballs from the previous sunday afternoon. I personally don't do leftovers at all in our house, with rare exceptions. But I'd never eat a meat product that's 6-7 days old, even if it was fully cooked. 2 or 3 days max.

[stevew]

dola-
I may be overly sensitive due to the "ham incident" from a few years back when she made a ham for Christmas that must have been diseased. Any time I wake up in the middle of the night and have to run and make an assplosion, I tend to hold a grudge.

[spleen1015]

I am freaky with food too. Something can be perfectly fine, but if anything makes me suspect it, I have to throw it away.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by spleen1015

I am freaky with food too. Something can be perfectly fine, but if anything makes me suspect it, I have to throw it away.

Me too.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Another beautiful moment... I eat some leftovers, but apologize for breaking the plastic food storage container, that somehow had two large chunks break off. She says "It's not broke." and attaches the broken parts to the lid. When I point out that it will not seal like that she says "Yes it will... just not as good."

Isn't the point of a plastic container to seal the food? I point out that maybe she should use a different container that is not being used: "It's ok."

[Mustang]

Originally Posted by stevew

My mom will keep the milk a few days after the expiration date, and act all appalled if I come over and freak out.

I keep milk past the 'expiration' date. I let my nose tell me if it is good/bad.

Items have a sell by date which is the date that they can be sold in the store and need to be pulled not that they hit that date and automatically go bad at midnight.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Mom pointed out some leftovers in her fridge last night that I could have if I felt like "celebrating" today.

Didn't feel like celebrating, but more like having comfort food... so I ate it. It was good.

Three hours later my stomach was in pain & it all came up. I left work.

I need my own place where I know what the hell is in the fridge, and if I don't... it can go in the trash.

[Rizon]

Was at an animal hoarders house this weekend ... - Front Office Football Central