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Old 09-28-2020, 06:02 PM   #51
Flasch186
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Originally Posted by kiwiLB57 View Post
This thread is amazing.

You think this is good, check out this doozy:

Awkward - Front Office Football Central
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Old 09-30-2020, 08:10 AM   #52
Flasch186
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A 10/11yo meltdown last night during BP. "I'm terrible" and other negative things about himself. Luckily perhaps that we were the last ones there cleaning up and the coach took an opportunity to talk to Aiden for about :40 minutes and it lifted his spirits but he;s really gotta give himself some breathing room in regards to failing. Side note which applies: Aiden's been diagnosed gifted which means a lot of things to a lot of different people but for him it manifests in perfectionism, a need to learn the intricacies of a process, a desire to meet expectations AND wild mood swings about himself. The only thing I really struggle to manage (and there's a lot so this sentence doesn't make a ton of sense) is the negative words about himself. I struggle to know what to do when that's happening other then to try to counter them with positive words but it doesn't seem to equal things out.
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Old 09-30-2020, 09:41 AM   #53
spleen1015
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To me, that is a sign of a kid that cares. My daughter is 17 and we still have these moments from a kid who has hit walk off HRs to win state playoff games and struck out 13 against a lineup of all D1 committed kids.

I can't explain it other than it is just pent up frustration. I think a lot of players go through situations like this.
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Old 09-30-2020, 10:27 AM   #54
PilotMan
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I actually know how you feel. I grew up that way, and my middle son is the same way. The worst is when he prepares really hard, and fails. It's a completely crushing moment as dad, and knowing that I tend to respond the same way doesn't help.

Check out this book


What to Do When Good Enough Isn't Good Enough: The Real Deal on Perfectionism: A Guide for Kids - Kindle edition by Greenspon Ph.D., Thomas S.. Health, Fitness & Dieting Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.
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Old 09-30-2020, 12:10 PM   #55
JonInMiddleGA
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Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Originally Posted by Flasch186 View Post
The only thing I really struggle to manage (and there's a lot so this sentence doesn't make a ton of sense) is the negative words about himself.

I've been around young athletes in various guises for about 40 years and the single most disturbing/distressful/unnerving experience I've had was standing just near enough to hear the running monologue that a young (HS) female tennis teammate of harangued herself with through every match. I don't think I've ever been more concerned about the ... emotional well-being(?) of a kid that was not my own. No major off-court issues afaik, but it genuinely frightened me.

I say that simply to TRY to say this: it IS a hard thing to hear, exponentially worse I'm sure if it's your own child. So struggling with it as a parent is certainly reasonable afaic. Don't let not knowing the perfect one-button solution get you down, there's great value in simply making the effort. Like most all things parenting, there's on the job training involved.
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Old 09-30-2020, 12:34 PM   #56
Atocep
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Originally Posted by Flasch186 View Post
A 10/11yo meltdown last night during BP. "I'm terrible" and other negative things about himself. Luckily perhaps that we were the last ones there cleaning up and the coach took an opportunity to talk to Aiden for about :40 minutes and it lifted his spirits but he;s really gotta give himself some breathing room in regards to failing. Side note which applies: Aiden's been diagnosed gifted which means a lot of things to a lot of different people but for him it manifests in perfectionism, a need to learn the intricacies of a process, a desire to meet expectations AND wild mood swings about himself. The only thing I really struggle to manage (and there's a lot so this sentence doesn't make a ton of sense) is the negative words about himself. I struggle to know what to do when that's happening other then to try to counter them with positive words but it doesn't seem to equal things out.


As I mentioned in an earlier post, development isn't a linear path upward. Perspective of where you started is really important.

It's been 8 and a half years since I wrote my dynasty about coaching my son's 10u team and I went through a lot of thr things you've experienced. One of the final straws that convinced me to coach was when he played on a team at 9u that failed to win a single game he finished the year completely frustrated with himself and down on his own ability. It was tough to see.

My Experience Coaching a 9-10 Year Old Baseball Team in a Rigged League - Front Office Football Central

I learned quite a bit from that season and 2 years later I found myself coaching a travel team while learning from ex pros. My final year coaching was 13u, but I've seen my son go through ups and downs all along the way. From the winless 9u team, to winning the league at 11u, to getting cut from the 8th grade team, to hitting over 500 on the jv team a year later and getting a late season call up as a freshman, to being the favorite to be an the all conference catcher as a senior, to covid shutting things down, and then finally signing with a top JC in the area that expects him to start next season.
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Old 09-30-2020, 12:37 PM   #57
Atocep
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So struggling with it as a parent is certainly reasonable afaic. Don't let not knowing the perfect one-button solution get you down, there's great value in simply making the effort. Like most all things parenting, there's on the job training involved.

I'll echo this. It's not easy at all and it's really difficult to watch your kid struggle. Especially when you don't have the answers right then and there.
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Old 10-05-2020, 06:32 AM   #58
Flasch186
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Aiden had a good weekend of baseball and played solidly. He got some hits and scored some runs and committed no errors. Only two real mistakes that come from just not having enough experience. While in left he backed up on a throw from home that got past the 3rd baseman but Aiden had come up too close to third instead of straight down the line and was too close to react and ave the bad throw. Then another time while on second with no one on first a grounder to the SS and Aiden left for 3rd. He just didn't know or react properly to think he didn't need to run. He should've tempted the throw or feigned the go but stayed. That will come with situational coaching that happened right after that. More importantly his confidence ticked up a bit and his stats as well. He has some serious coaching coming his way for the next month and a half with A team ball, middle school ball and private lessons. You might say, woah...that's a lot! For some silly reason at our school he gets no homework. ZERO. So its baseball or fortnight or reading which isn't going to happen in the hours necessary to fill the idle hands so baseball it is.
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Old 10-05-2020, 07:05 AM   #59
Flasch186
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Side note

I’m still the Rec commissioner and we had to shut a team down for two weeks due to a covid confirmation

Crazy times


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Old 10-21-2020, 10:27 AM   #60
Flasch186
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Aiden's a mess with his swing. He's got a hitting coach that doesn't mind a steeper attack angle which requires a bit of a tilt and shoulder drop while his AB coach wants a flatter swing, shorter turn, and almost know shoulder drop (Mike Trout drops, Josh Donaldson very little). Couple that with being on the new team and seeing faster pitches and he's kind of a wreck. He's fouling off a ton, striking out more than ever, and not barrelling the ball any more. I'm going into overdrive to get him back on plane. It really sucks watching him struggle to do what he does well.
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Old 10-21-2020, 10:57 AM   #61
spleen1015
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It takes a little while to get used to faster pitching. He'll be alright!
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