Steven Seagal: Lawman

JonInMiddleGA · 12-03-2009, 11:18 PM

I'm really close to having words completely fail me after watching 20 minutes of this. Steven Seagal Lawman - A&E TV

Damn.

RainMaker · 12-03-2009, 11:30 PM

I watched it last night. I would comment but it left me speechless as well.

JS19 · 12-03-2009, 11:37 PM

I love the part when he's trying to help the guy with his pistol qualification and he's talking all this martial arts spiritual mumbo jumbo and he's like "The key is, try nothing, just don't try". Not verbatim, but something along those lines.

Tigercat · 12-03-2009, 11:39 PM

Heh, funny watching Segal patrol the streets near the schools I work at acting like he is in the middle of a giant warzone. Made me feel a little bolder when I went to work today... The Westbank of Jefferson Parish, an area so hostile only Steven Segal can save it from destruction!

JonInMiddleGA · 12-03-2009, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JS19

and he's like "The key is, try nothing, just don't try". Not verbatim, but something along those lines.

That's pretty damn close (that's the episode I saw first).

JonInMiddleGA · 12-03-2009, 11:42 PM

I think what makes this for me (aside from making Dog look like Masterpiece Theater) is that Seagal appears to be so punch drunk himself that he's almost like watching a drunk cop. Slightly slurred speech, slight accent, late middle aged paunch.

About all that's missing I think is him using the phrase "unleash the fucking fury".

Apathetic Lurker · 12-04-2009, 01:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tigercat

Heh, funny watching Segal patrol the streets near the schools I work at acting like he is in the middle of a giant warzone. Made me feel a little bolder when I went to work today... The Westbank of Jefferson Parish, an area so hostile only Steven Segal can save it from destruction!

Chuck Norris wouldnt need a tv crew to save that area from destruction

JonInMiddleGA · 12-09-2009, 05:55 PM

Seagal is the most watched premiere episode in A&E's history

Media Life Magazine - For A&E's 'Seagal,' all the right moves

The two episodes that aired last Wednesday averaged 3.5 million total viewers. Encouragingly for Seagal, the second episode’s viewership built slightly, placing it at No. 10 for the week for all cable shows among viewers 25-54 and No. 11 among 18-49s.

The episodes were also cable’s highest-rated reality shows for the week. The next-highest was the second-season premiere of A&E’s “Hoarders,” which had set a channel record in adult demos for a season premiere only two nights before.

thesloppy · 12-09-2009, 06:20 PM

I heart Seagal. I loved the 'Seagal Vision', where the camera would pause on some 'action' on the street, outline something mysterious in a bright white light too show us the power of Saegal's eagle vision, as Seagal lurches to look out the back window, blurting "Wassat!? He's putting something in his pants!".

For half-a-second I was wondering whether he was in on the joke, or whether the people producing this thing were just laughing their asses off at him. Turns out, he is the producer. Point being, I'm sure plenty of people making the show are still laughing at him, but he probably gets some form of control/say over the final product, and he thought this shit was golden.

ISiddiqui · 12-09-2009, 06:21 PM

This is the best thing since Gary Busey was on TV!

JonInMiddleGA · 12-09-2009, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ISiddiqui

This is the best thing since Gary Busey was on TV!

Not a bad comparison now that you mention it.

FTR, I think he does come across as sincere & reasonably genuine. It's just that there's comedy gold in that sincerity.

molson · 12-09-2009, 06:51 PM

Between this and Jersey Shore, we are truly in a golden age of television.

BYU 14 · 12-09-2009, 07:46 PM

How is it possible his acting here is worse than any of his movies??

Still, I have to admit I am hooked, from his "life lesson" speeches he gives everyone he encounters, to watching him become completely blown up after a 20 foot jog or demonstrating a wrist lock three times....It's on the tivo to do list!

He is obviously out of shape and over weight now, but I never realized how tall/big he is....or do they just surround him with 5'7" deputies?

DanGarion · 04-15-2010, 02:38 PM

Wow Seagal is in trouble...

Kayden Nguyen sues action star Steven Seagal for sexual assault, employing her as his 'sex toy'

http://reporter.blogs.com/files/seagal.pdf

Above the law? 'Sex toy' model sues Steven Seagal

Mizzou B-ball fan · 04-15-2010, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanGarion

Wow Seagal is in trouble...

Kayden Nguyen sues action star Steven Seagal for sexual assault, employing her as his 'sex toy'

http://reporter.blogs.com/files/seagal.pdf

Above the law? 'Sex toy' model sues Steven Seagal

Yikes. Some pretty hefty accusations there.

Greyroofoo · 04-15-2010, 05:04 PM

Pretty shady accuser though.

Steven Seagal Accuser Boasted 'I Can Manipulate Men'

Also the fact that she's only after a civil trial and not a criminal one raises my eyebrows even further.

JonInMiddleGA · 04-15-2010, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greyroofoo

Also the fact that she's only after a civil trial and not a criminal one raises my eyebrows even further.

Gee, ya think?

Greyroofoo · 04-15-2010, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Gee, ya think?

Apparently so, that's why I posted it.

molson · 04-15-2010, 05:29 PM

I thought Steven Seagal's utilization of sex slaves was common knowledge.

JonInMiddleGA · 04-15-2010, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greyroofoo

Apparently so, that's why I posted it.

That was meant as "the royal 'ya'", not you specifically. Figured that would be clearer, maybe not though.

stevew · 04-15-2010, 06:22 PM

I don't think she can Nguyen this case.

12-03-2009, 11:42 PM	#6
JonInMiddleGA Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA	I think what makes this for me (aside from making Dog look like Masterpiece Theater) is that Seagal appears to be so punch drunk himself that he's almost like watching a drunk cop. Slightly slurred speech, slight accent, late middle aged paunch. About all that's missing I think is him using the phrase "unleash the fucking fury". __________________ "I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis

12-09-2009, 05:55 PM	#8
JonInMiddleGA Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA	Seagal is the most watched premiere episode in A&E's history Media Life Magazine - For A&E's 'Seagal,' all the right moves The two episodes that aired last Wednesday averaged 3.5 million total viewers. Encouragingly for Seagal, the second episode’s viewership built slightly, placing it at No. 10 for the week for all cable shows among viewers 25-54 and No. 11 among 18-49s. The episodes were also cable’s highest-rated reality shows for the week. The next-highest was the second-season premiere of A&E’s “Hoarders,” which had set a channel record in adult demos for a season premiere only two nights before. __________________ "I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis

12-09-2009, 06:20 PM	#9
thesloppy Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: PDX	I heart Seagal. I loved the 'Seagal Vision', where the camera would pause on some 'action' on the street, outline something mysterious in a bright white light too show us the power of Saegal's eagle vision, as Seagal lurches to look out the back window, blurting "Wassat!? He's putting something in his pants!". For half-a-second I was wondering whether he was in on the joke, or whether the people producing this thing were just laughing their asses off at him. Turns out, he is the producer. Point being, I'm sure plenty of people making the show are still laughing at him, but he probably gets some form of control/say over the final product, and he thought this shit was golden. Last edited by thesloppy : 12-09-2009 at 06:26 PM.

12-09-2009, 06:21 PM	#10
ISiddiqui Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Decatur, GA	This is the best thing since Gary Busey was on TV! __________________ "A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages" -Tennessee Williams

04-15-2010, 02:38 PM	#14
DanGarion Coordinator Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Great Northwest	Wow Seagal is in trouble... Kayden Nguyen sues action star Steven Seagal for sexual assault, employing her as his 'sex toy' http://reporter.blogs.com/files/seagal.pdf Above the law? 'Sex toy' model sues Steven Seagal __________________ Los Angeles Dodgers Check out the FOFC Groups on Facebook! and Reddit! DON'T REPORT ME BRO!

12-03-2009, 11:30 PM	#2
RainMaker Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Chicago, IL	I watched it last night. I would comment but it left me speechless as well.

12-03-2009, 11:37 PM	#3
JS19 College Prospect Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: NY	I love the part when he's trying to help the guy with his pistol qualification and he's talking all this martial arts spiritual mumbo jumbo and he's like "The key is, try nothing, just don't try". Not verbatim, but something along those lines.

12-03-2009, 11:39 PM	#4
Tigercat College Starter Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Federal Way, WA	Heh, funny watching Segal patrol the streets near the schools I work at acting like he is in the middle of a giant warzone. Made me feel a little bolder when I went to work today... The Westbank of Jefferson Parish, an area so hostile only Steven Segal can save it from destruction!

12-09-2009, 06:51 PM	#12
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	Between this and Jersey Shore, we are truly in a golden age of television.

12-09-2009, 07:46 PM	#13
BYU 14 Coordinator Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: The scorched Desert	How is it possible his acting here is worse than any of his movies?? Still, I have to admit I am hooked, from his "life lesson" speeches he gives everyone he encounters, to watching him become completely blown up after a 20 foot jog or demonstrating a wrist lock three times....It's on the tivo to do list! He is obviously out of shape and over weight now, but I never realized how tall/big he is....or do they just surround him with 5'7" deputies?

04-15-2010, 05:04 PM	#16
Greyroofoo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Alabama	Pretty shady accuser though. Steven Seagal Accuser Boasted 'I Can Manipulate Men' Also the fact that she's only after a civil trial and not a criminal one raises my eyebrows even further.

04-15-2010, 05:29 PM	#19
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	I thought Steven Seagal's utilization of sex slaves was common knowledge. Last edited by molson : 04-15-2010 at 05:29 PM.

04-15-2010, 06:22 PM	#21
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	I don't think she can Nguyen this case.

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