cartman lives! (aka the story of how he wasn't broken by Vegas, but triumphed)

[cartman]

Wow, what an epic trip. Don't even know where to start. I'll have to post more about it later, but for now, I am alive. My laptop power brick went out on me Tuesday morning, and I wasn't able to locate a replacement one out there. That is the explanation for my absence from the Intartubes.

Now it is time to catch up and see what I missed.

[Julio Riddols]

Lt. Col. Henry Blake's plane was shot down over the Sea of Japan. It spun in . . . there were no survivors.

[britrock88]

[cartman]

So, now time for the details to trickle out.

Was out in Vegas for SEG, the oil and gas exploration conference. One of my companies does IT consulting, focused on exploration applications and technical environments.

I didn't fly to Vegas, I drove out. In a Ford Explorer carrying the booth and marketing collateral for the show. I left on Friday the 2nd, and met my colleagues in Vegas around 1pm on Saturday, with me spending the night in Phoenix.

It is bad enough making the 980 mile drive from Austin to Phoenix, but what made it even worse was the fact that I only got 3 1/2 hours sleep the night before taking the wheel. But I made it, and got 6 hours sleep in Phoenix after a 14 hour drive, which was made longer by the fact I had to pull over at a rest stop and borrow their Wi-Fi to fix an issue at a customer's site.

In Texas, the rest areas have Wi-Fi. At this particular one outside Sonora, TX, I could get an IP address, but could not get on the Internet. So I connected the browser to the .1 address of the range, thinking I might need to accept something before being able to access the Internet. But instead I got a screen asking me to login to the admin portal. Being the curious sort I am, I tried admin/admin, but that didn't work. Undeterred, I tried admin/texasreststop (the name of the WiFi network) and that worked. I clicked the button to reset the access point, and soon I was able to connect to the Internet. I'm sure that was considered unauthorized access, but it allowed me access to what I was authorized to have. That took about 45 minutes to figure out, as well as fix my customer's issue.

More details to come...

[Scoobz0202]

When do the escorts enter the story

[cartman]

Originally Posted by Scoobz0202

When do the escorts enter the story

Probably the 4th update (got a story about one from Tuesday night)

[Dodgerchick]

Ahh yeah, 14 hour drives, aren't they fun?

[britrock88]

I was glad I broke up my recent 25-hour trek into 12, 7, and 6-hour segments, for sure.

[cartman]

After spending the night in Phoenix, I woke up to head to Vegas. I first had to drop off the booth and equipment at the Mandalay Bay convention center. There were no signs on where to go to do this. I eventually discovered that I had to park in a certain area and wait for a marshal to come and bring me to the loading dock. Got that done just in time to head to the airport to pick up my co-workers. We went back to MB, checked in and then went to the convention floor to get the booth set up.

Now it was time for the fun to begin. Our admin invited a couple of her friends out to help with the show. All three of them are stunning. I went with her to the airport to pick them up that evening. Back at the hotel people got ready for the partying to begin. We started off at Mandalay Bay, and met up with some of our friends from other companies that were attending. Much alcohol was consumed. At some point we wandered over to New York New York, and one of the guys made fun of the Michael Jackson slot machine. I sat down, threw $20 in the machine, and within a few spins was up $100. There were 7 of us in the group: me, the four I work with and the two ringers. The roller coaster at NYNY is $14 each. So MJ paid for us to ride the roller coaster. I'm honestly surprised they let us on in the state we were in. Afterwards we stayed at one of the bars in NYNY for a couple of more hours, before heading back to MB. Things went south in a hurry in Excalibur, when one of our group got lost going to the bathroom, and no one could find him. The tram was closed for the night, so the rest of us cabbed it back to MB. We met up once again with some of our friends in the industry, and all headed to the dance club in the middle of the casino at MB. One of the ringers declared me her boo, and disappointed the many potential suitors that approached. We wrapped things up around 4am, when the bar closed. Nothing to do related to the conference until 6pm that evening.

[cartman]

For some reason, I woke up at 8am on Sunday. Took a shower and headed downstairs. The first bit of gambling didn't go well at all. Was down about $300 in the first couple of hours. I think ran into the girls, who were heading out to the pool. Figured that would be as good of a place as any to be. Had lunch with them, and then went for round two in the casino. This time went much, much better. The highlight was hitting a Triple Red White and Blue $1 slot machine for $900. Now I'm up for the trip. Headed back upstairs to get ready for the evening icebreaker to open the convention. The icebreaker went well, and afterwards I ran back upstairs to get the FOFC-BBCF league sim run. That was the last online activity I had for a while.

Met up with the crew back downstairs, and by the end of the evening it was just me and the two ringers still fighting the good fight. We called it a night around 3am, just after one of the suitors from the night before tried to make another run. My status as her boo was solidified.

[britrock88]

If you'll be my bodyguard, I can be your long-lost pal; and I can call you Betty, and Betty, when you call me, you can call me Al!

[kcchief19]

This story is either going to be very, very satisfying or very, very disappointing. No in between.

[cartman]

8am Monday morning came way too early. Had to be at the booth by 9am. During the day, it was normal convention activity. Nothing too exciting to report. After dinner, though, came the start of something special. The girls wanted to learn how to play craps, so we went to one of the tables, and proceeded to provide lessons. Craps is a hard game to pick up, but once you get the basic rules down, it can be a blast. It took a full circuit of the table, but eventually they got the hang of things. The girls each rolled consecutively, and all of their rolls went for between 10 and 15 minutes before crapping out. Everyone made a couple of hundred dollars on their rolls.

Due to incriminating details, I can't get into specifics, but the rest of the night involved visits (by the entire crew) to:

LAX at the Luxor
XS at the Wynn
Sapphire Gentlemen's Club
Marquee at the Cosmopolitan
rides in various limos

The run ended around 6am. With another 9am appearance needed at the booth.

[Izulde]

Damn, I miss all the fun.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by cartman

8am Monday morning came way too early. Had to be at the booth by 9am. During the day, it was normal convention activity. Nothing too exciting to report. After dinner, though, came the start of something special. The girls wanted to learn how to play craps, so we went to one of the tables, and proceeded to provide lessons. Craps is a hard game to pick up, but once you get the basic rules down, it can be a blast. It took a full circuit of the table, but eventually they got the hang of things. The girls each rolled consecutively, and all of their rolls went for between 10 and 15 minutes before crapping out. Everyone made a couple of hundred dollars on their rolls.

Due to incriminating details, I can't get into specifics, but the rest of the night involved visits (by the entire crew) to:

LAX at the Luxor
XS at the Wynn
Sapphire Gentlemen's Club
Marquee at the Cosmopolitan
rides in various limos

The run ended around 6am. With another 9am appearance needed at the booth.

Hmm...Sapphire. That place is ridiculously expensive. Hope you expensed it!

[britrock88]

Originally Posted by cartman

Due to incriminating details, I can't get into specifics.

I thought that was the whole point of the thread!

[SackAttack]

Originally Posted by kcchief19

This story is either going to be very, very satisfying or very, very disappointing. No in between.

Early returns suggest very, very disappointing.

[Subby]

This may be the worst Vegas story since Very Bad Things.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by Subby

This may be the worst Vegas story since Very Bad Things.

Yes. I think what this story clearly needs is more men in capris pants.

[Desnudo]

I expect a dead hooker at the end of this for my time

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by SackAttack

Early returns suggest very, very disappointing.

So far it's like watching on TV but you fall asleep 20 minutes in and don't wake up until the credits are rolling.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by Desnudo

I expect a dead hooker at the end of this for my time

Live, dead ... give us something!

[Buccaneer]

The only shocking thus far was successfully guessing an admin password. :o

I got to look up Marquee, haven't heard of that one.

[stevew]

This is like the ABC Family afterschool special version of the Hangover.

[Crapshoot]

Originally Posted by Desnudo

I expect a dead hooker at the end of this for my time

Dead hooker, live boy, political scandal, etc etc.

[cartman]

Tuesday morning, 8am wakeup call. After a couple of hours of sleep, time to head back down to the convention floor. Had lunch at the Burger Bar, and fought the temptation to order the $60 faux Kobe beef burger with foie gras and truffles. It was rough, but made it to the 6pm closing time. Headed out to the bar to catch the election results. The Nevada Dems were having their election watching party as well at Mandalay Bay. The folks I work with are all over the political spectrum, and we had some pretty interesting discussions around the table. By the time that the race had been called for Obama, and that Nevada was going to be blue as well, all hell broke loose for a bit. We stayed there and kept the rounds coming. Soon after that an awesome cover band that took requests took the stage, so we hung around until they wrapped up at 2am. By this time, I'd realized I'd had been on a drinking binge that would have made Ben from 'Leaving Las Vegas' stand up and slow clap. From 6pm until 2am, I'd had approximate one rum and coke every 15-20 minutes.

About that time one of the working pros honed in on our table, and started to ply her trade. I was so far gone at this point I didn't realize that she wasn't one of the people from one of the other booths that we knew. Turned out she was a 47 year old Nicaraguan, and very far away from the oil and gas business, but not far from the drilling side of things. One of the guys thought he was cock blocking me, and took off. So I'm left there with the Central American prostitute, who proceeds to tell me her life story about her and her kids. At 3:30am I realize that none of my crew is around, so I deftly as I can in my drunken state make my exit. I find the two ringers over at one of the craps tables. They evidently were quick learners, and were each up several hundred dollars. At around 5:30am, we called it a night, as my boo and the other ringer had a 10am flight out the next day. Didn't get any sleep at all that night...

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Desnudo

I expect a dead hooker at the end of this for my time

Getting close...

[EagleFan]

Originally Posted by stevew

This is like the ABC Family afterschool special version of the Hangover.

lol

[cartman]

On Wednesday, I bade farewell to my boo and the other ringer. I took them back to the airport, and then returned to Mandalay Bay to do my booth duty. On Wednesday, the last day of the convention floor, the duty time ended at 4pm. I was happy for this, since I had been up for approximately 36 hours straight by this point.

We agreed to meet back up at 7pm to get the booth broken down. Instead of sleep, I decided to hit the casino floor once again. I put $100 into a machine, and quickly gained $40. I cashed out, and went to another machine, where I gained another $40. I went to a third machine, and promptly lost $30. At this point, I went to another $1 Triple Red, White and Blue machine, and told myself that I'd play down to $100 and call it a night. I was up and down in a $20 range, before I hit the big one.

The Triple logo came up, then a Blue Seven. I was thinking, ok, another Seven appears, and this will be good. But much to my surprise, another Triple logo appears. Normally three blue Sevens is good for $240. But the two triple Logos means 9 times that, so $2160! The machine locks up, and won't let me continue until someone from the casino comes over and gets my info. I give them my driver's license and SSN number, then a few minutes later they return with $2160 in cold, hard cash as well as a tax form stating I won $2160.

I play a couple of more spins on the machine before cashing out the remaining $150. I then met a friend who I hadn't seen in almost 20 years who lives in Vegas. We had a few drinks and reminisced about old times. I met back up with my remaining co-workers, and we chowed down at Michael Mina's StripSteak restaurant. I turned in at the respectable hour of 11:30pm, minus by new boo, but up almost $3000 for the week.

[cartman]

On Thursday, it all comes to a close. I wake up around 9am, and get my co-workers to the airport for their flights home. We meet at the Raffles Cafe, and I pick up the breakfast tab. I drop everyone off around 11am, then head back to Mandalay Bay to get the booth, et al loaded into the car. That happens by 1pm. I hit the road to head back to Austin. I make a stop at the Hoover Dam, as I've never seen it before. I sign up for a tour, but realize that I don't have the time to take it. I walk across the dam, and visit some of the above ground exhibits. I leave Hoover Dam around 3pm and head to Tucson. I arrive around 11pm, and crash before the drive back to Texas.

[cartman]

Friday was the worst day for the trip. It didn't start out too bad, as my other boss asked me to find some beers from the Firestone brewery in Cali. This particular brewery doesn't ship to Texas, so I stopped by a Beverages and More in Tucson, as well as a place called Wines, Etc. The BevMo had none of the beers he was looking for, but the Wines, Etc. place had several of them. So I made like Smokey and the Bandit and bought a couple of hundred dollars worth of beer to bring back to Texas.

[Suicane75]

A) You fuck this chick?
B) In what ways did you fuck this chick?

[lighthousekeeper]

[Balldog]

This story had so much potential.

[AnalBumCover]

[finketr]

Originally Posted by Dodgerchick

Ahh yeah, 14 hour drives, aren't they fun?

Try 22 hours from STL to MIA... Then again, that was pretty stupid.

[GoldenEagle]

It just seems to me that the "boo" cock-blocked the entire time.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Balldog

This story had so much potential.

Like a highly touted draft pick.

[kcchief19]

This story made me sad.

[Buccaneer]

Why? He had a great time in Vegas, better than what most of you did during that time.

[sterlingice]

I'm trying to decide if this ends with "Kyle, why don't you tell us about cartman" and a less than exciting story about wasting company money and expense fraud or, the more likely option in my mind: the Eddie Murphy incident.

SI

[molson]

It's like my dad always said, if you're going to bang a 47-year old hooker, she might as well be Nicaraguan.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by Buccaneer

Why? He had a great time in Vegas, better than what most of you did during that time.

We've all had great vacations or work trips, but they don't make great stories. If you're building up the hype, you gotta delivery either the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat.

Guy went to Vegas for convention, hung out with hot chicks but didn't bang any, won some money and stopped off for beer on the way home. Boom. I told the story in one sentence. We expect more from cartman!

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by kcchief19

We've all had great vacations or work trips, but they don't make great stories. If you're building up the hype, you gotta delivery either the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat.

Guy went to Vegas for convention, hung out with hot chicks but didn't bang any, won some money and stopped off for beer on the way home. Boom. I told the story in one sentence. We expect more from cartman!

This.

[Eaglesfan27]

Am I the only one who read it as he did bang his boo... They went to bed at 5:30 and he didn't get any sleep before her 10 am flight...

[Buccaneer]

Nerds.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

Am I the only one who read it as he did bang his boo... They went to bed at 5:30 and he didn't get any sleep before her 10 am flight...

The didn't go to bed, they "called it a night" since the boo and the other ringer had a 10 am flight. Adding in time to pack, make themselves presentable for the flight, check out and get to the airport an hour early and unless cartman pulled a "No Way Out" and banged his boo in the cab on the way to the airport with the ringer and the driver watching, I'm saying no.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by Buccaneer

Nerds.

Oh, I think that's been quite obvious for a while.

[MalcPow]

Originally Posted by kcchief19

The didn't go to bed, they "called it a night" since the boo and the other ringer had a 10 am flight. Adding in time to pack, make themselves presentable for the flight, check out and get to the airport an hour early and unless cartman pulled a "No Way Out" and banged his boo in the cab on the way to the airport with the ringer and the driver watching, I'm saying no.

So you're sayin there's a chance!

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Buccaneer

Why? He had a great time in Vegas, better than what most of you did during that time.

My thoughts also, better week than I had.