Is it Possible to Fudge a bank Statement? - Page 4

st.cronin · 06-21-2006, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

I am going to sue Al Gore...If he had not invented the internet I would not be in this mess. ARGH!

Now you're talking.

Ramzavail · 06-21-2006, 10:21 AM

I don't think purses are $50, not nice ones that you'd want to give.

Mustang · 06-21-2006, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ramzavail

I don't think purses are $50, not nice ones that you'd want to give.

Carson has spoken....

Farrah Whitworth-Rahn · 06-21-2006, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

I think I will just buy her a purse and let her know that the charge was for the purse I purchased. What name brand purse can I pick up for around 50 bucks?

This is not wise. Women are picky about their handbags. What if she doesn't like it and wants to exchange or return it?

Bad idea.

oliegirl · 06-21-2006, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gottimd

Except there is a difference in buying a cheap computer, which will probably not perform as well as a more expensive model.

As for a bag, the $250 bag will carry stuff in a similar fashion as the $2000 bag. The only difference would be size of the bag.

I get into this argument with my wife all of time. She gets these $1K purses that are the size of a thumbtack. And for some reason, can't hold anything and when we go out, she asks me to hold stuff in my pants or my jacket (like her cell phone, keys,etc). I always ask her, "Whats the point of the purse if you aren't gonna carry anything in it?", which is then followed by the evil eye and me going to the bar to get drinks.

It's not about function, it's about how it looks with the outfit...

Farrah Whitworth-Rahn · 06-21-2006, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oliegirl

It's not about function, it's about how it looks with the outfit...

Bingo. Function is just a bonus.

What I really hate is Arlie asking me to carry his crap in my purse. I am not a pack mule. If you can't fit your big ass cell phone in your pocket, then maybe you should get a smaller one.

oliegirl · 06-21-2006, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

This is not wise. Women are picky about their handbags. What if she doesn't like it and wants to exchange or return it?

Bad idea.

Agreed.

Just buy her a nice ($150 or more) giftcard to a nice (Nordstroms or the like) store and let her go shopping...it's theraputic for women.

Or you could just fly her to Atlanta and Farrah and I will take her shopping with your credit card - that will guarantee forgiveness!!!!

st.cronin · 06-21-2006, 10:30 AM

There is a question unasked.

This "event" happened late at night? Where was the wife at that moment? What was SHE up to???

Radii · 06-21-2006, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oliegirl

That is an excellent point!!!! Next time I see a bag I want (I'm more in the $250 - $500 range), I'm just going to go for it and explain to radii that it was kind of like buying a new computer, which he would never argue with, so he can't be upset about the bag

I think that would go something like this:

Me: "Wait a second. We've been living together for almost 3 years now and have purchased one computer. Let me see if I can remember which one of us got a brand new computer in the last 3 years. HMMMM"

TroyF · 06-21-2006, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

This is not wise. Women are picky about their handbags. What if she doesn't like it and wants to exchange or return it?

Bad idea.

Yeah, not a good move.

In all seriousness here, there are a ton of pitfalls no matter what you do. Say you get her a bag and she LOVES it. Decides that she'd like to order another one someday and decides to check the internet address from the shadow company on your statement?

Your best bet is to say it was a drunken joke that you and a couple of friends did on the internet one night. You really are in a no win here if she does some digging.

Lathum · 06-21-2006, 10:40 AM

I think the key bit of information is what will the name of the company appear as on your bank statement?

kcchief19 · 06-21-2006, 10:44 AM

Ooooh ... that drunken thing sounds like a winner. You can never go wrong playing the "I was drunk card," since that is very simple and believable.

You could also try giving her a homemade coupon book filled with things like "Good for one hour of shopping for purses" or "Good for one hour of Jimmy lovin'." Sure, it's brutal, but it will make her happen and it will make you think twice in the future.

And not to be the voice of caution or reason in a thread where we are having some levity, is there any concern that if you're looking for love online after a night of drinking that there might be a greater problem in the relationship than her finding a mystery purchase on the bank statement? Just a thought.

Maple Leafs · 06-21-2006, 10:46 AM

By the way... I don't know what you bought, but many of the "bad" things you could buy on the Internet are actually recurring charges. So Adult-Robot-Boyfriends.org may charge you that $50 every month until you specifically cancel it. Just something to watch for.

Maple Leafs · 06-21-2006, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcchief19

Ooooh ... that drunken thing sounds like a winner. You can never go wrong playing the "I was drunk card," since that is very simple and believable.

No, bad idea. Women believe (probably correctly) that being drunk just makes you more likely to do what you already wanted to. Being drunk doesn't make you want to buy robot porn, it just gives you the balls to actually do it.

She's probably already secretly worried about what sort of repressed desires are in your freaky little head. No need to confirm that for her.

Klinglerware · 06-21-2006, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

I think the key bit of information is what will the name of the company appear as on your bank statement?

This is probably something you can find out before your statement comes.

Maple Leafs · 06-21-2006, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TroyF

Your best bet is to say it was a drunken joke that you and a couple of friends did on the internet one night. You really are in a no win here if she does some digging.

Actually, you could use the generic all-purpose male excuse for getting caught doing something dirty -- claim it's a joke gift for a friend's bachelor party. Claim that some guy at work is getting married, he's rumored to have a robot fetish, and you got nominated to buy the joke porn.

FrogMan · 06-21-2006, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcchief19

And not to be the voice of caution or reason in a thread where we are having some levity, is there any concern that if you're looking for love online after a night of drinking that there might be a greater problem in the relationship than her finding a mystery purchase on the bank statement? Just a thought.

I thought the same thing. I mean if the idea came to him to use this kind of service, if that's indeed the case, well, maybe there's something bigger behind the whole thing...

FM

oliegirl · 06-21-2006, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Radii

I think that would go something like this:

Me: "Wait a second. We've been living together for almost 3 years now and have purchased one computer. Let me see if I can remember which one of us got a brand new computer in the last 3 years. HMMMM"

Damn...I was hoping he wouldn't read this thread!

stevew · 06-21-2006, 10:53 AM

use the same excuse that one guy used after he ate all the brownies.

stevew · 06-21-2006, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

Bingo. Function is just a bonus.

What I really hate is Arlie asking me to carry his crap in my purse. I am not a pack mule. If you can't fit your big ass cell phone in your pocket, then maybe you should get a smaller one.

What to make of the school of thought that a handbag, as long as it matches your shoes, is "matching". Regardless of the fact that the handbag or shoes do not actually look good with the dress.

King of New York · 06-21-2006, 11:18 AM

JimmyWint,

When you see that your wife is about to open the bank statement, just take it from her, put it in your mouth, and eat it. Then act as if everything is perfectly normal. I guarantee that it will work.

It's sort of a variation on the "Big Lie" theory. If you try to weasel out of this sitiuation using a conventional method, you'll be busted, but if you so do something really nuts, you'll get away with it.

Farrah Whitworth-Rahn · 06-21-2006, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

What to make of the school of thought that a handbag, as long as it matches your shoes, is "matching". Regardless of the fact that the handbag or shoes do not actually look good with the dress.

The woman has no taste? Paris Hilton is notorious for this.

Galaxy · 06-21-2006, 12:11 PM

Wow...This thread has everything.

"FOFC: Queer Eye for the Porn Guy"

Swaggs · 06-21-2006, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Actually, you could use the generic all-purpose male excuse for getting caught doing something dirty -- claim it's a joke gift for a friend's bachelor party. Claim that some guy at work is getting married, he's rumored to have a robot fetish, and you got nominated to buy the joke porn.

I like this one. I think it will get you no worse than an eye roll.

Galaxy · 06-21-2006, 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gottimd

Agreed. Its a goddamn bag. Does it hold items any different than a $5 bag? Why would you pay that much for a bag that does absolutely nothing different than a lot less expensive bag?

But is it really differnet than buying cars (considering many cars are re-badged, ect.), ect. for guys? I mean, we have vices that we like that may seem wasteful spending to others. But really, if it makes them happy and they can afford it, and will use it, all more power to them. I'm guessing this pursue has something that represents that $800?

illinifan999 · 06-21-2006, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King of New York

JimmyWint,

When you see that your wife is about to open the bank statement, just take it from her, put it in your mouth, and eat it. Then act as if everything is perfectly normal. I guarantee that it will work.

This wins. You should do this and record it. The reaction would be amazing.

JeeberD · 06-21-2006, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

I think the key bit of information is what will the name of the company appear as on your bank statement?

I think sites like that usually list what the billing name will be on the site's order page. See if you can find it there. Or just let me know what site it was and I'll look it up for you...

Desnudo · 06-21-2006, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by King of New York

JimmyWint,

When you see that your wife is about to open the bank statement, just take it from her, put it in your mouth, and eat it. Then act as if everything is perfectly normal. I guarantee that it will work.

It's sort of a variation on the "Big Lie" theory. If you try to weasel out of this sitiuation using a conventional method, you'll be busted, but if you so do something really nuts, you'll get away with it.

I really like this idea. I would add that I can provide a webcam.

Alternatively, I'm definitely for the purse purchase option. I can't wait to see what type of purses AdultFriendFinder sells.

KevinNU7 · 06-21-2006, 12:56 PM

While I have enjoyed this thread it has become clear to me that it is a ruse.

albionmoonlight · 06-21-2006, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KevinNU7

While I have enjoyed this thread it has become clear to me that it is a ruse.

""

Galaxy · 06-21-2006, 01:44 PM

So, what exactly did Jimmy order?

stevew · 06-21-2006, 01:59 PM

who is jimmywint?

sovereignstar · 06-21-2006, 02:20 PM

I lack Closing Skills...Please Help

sovereignstar · 06-21-2006, 02:20 PM

Okay, so I have been seeing this girl for about a month now. Just yesterday she says she likes to get high once in a while with this girlfriend of hers. I have never smoked pot. I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice. What is the difference between getting drunk like I do, or in getting stoned, other than the obvious fact it is illegal. I kind of threw up a red flag when I heard this...maybe I am overreacting? What do you all think?

Passacaglia · 06-21-2006, 02:22 PM

I always get this dood confused with Tom E.

stevew · 06-21-2006, 02:23 PM

Tell her you bought her some fancy cigars, but because of the smoking ban in your town, you can't smoke them, and they need to go back.

st.cronin · 06-21-2006, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sovereignstar

Okay, so I have been seeing this girl for about a month now. Just yesterday she says she likes to get high once in a while with this girlfriend of hers. I have never smoked pot. I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice. What is the difference between getting drunk like I do, or in getting stoned, other than the obvious fact it is illegal. I kind of threw up a red flag when I heard this...maybe I am overreacting? What do you all think?

When a girl says she likes to "get high with a girlfriend" what she means is that she likes to "have sex with a girlfriend." So, pm FranklinNoble for advice. He'll know what to do.

Klinglerware · 06-21-2006, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sovereignstar

Okay, so I have been seeing this girl for about a month now. Just yesterday she says she likes to get high once in a while with this girlfriend of hers. I have never smoked pot. I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice. What is the difference between getting drunk like I do, or in getting stoned, other than the obvious fact it is illegal. I kind of threw up a red flag when I heard this...maybe I am overreacting? What do you all think?

I would have said "Cowboy up", but I think that hand has already been played somewhere in this thread...

JimmyWint · 06-21-2006, 02:53 PM

"I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice".

I knew my drinking would come to haunt me sooner or later. Perhaps I will disclose what I actually purchased, I just feel a lot of shame and it is hard to admit to it.

rkmsuf · 06-21-2006, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

"I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice".

I knew my drinking would come to haunt me sooner or later. Perhaps I will disclose what I actually purchased, I just feel a lot of shame and it is hard to admit to it.

Clearly since you started a thread about it.

terpkristin · 06-21-2006, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

I am going to sue Al Gore...If he had not invented the internet I would not be in this mess. ARGH!

No, if you hadn't done something apparently insanely stupid with a credit card after drinking you wouldn't be in this mess.

I concur with the ladies on the board (and the few men that have gone this way) that you should just grow a pair and own up to what you did.

As for the $800 purse, I can see owning them, but they're not for me. Then again I'm still a tomboy at heart, my current purse is a Tom Bihn bag (this one, actually, in grey exterior and red interior). Now Jessica Simpson's $800 panties...that's the epitome of waste IMO...

/tk

Mustang · 06-21-2006, 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

I knew my drinking would come to haunt me sooner or later. Perhaps I will disclose what I actually purchased, I just feel a lot of shame and it is hard to admit to it.

Starting to sound like gay porn....

Greyroofoo · 06-21-2006, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

"I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice".

I knew my drinking would come to haunt me sooner or later. Perhaps I will disclose what I actually purchased, I just feel a lot of shame and it is hard to admit to it.

Jack Daniels will make the shame go away.

Glengoyne · 06-21-2006, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mustang

Starting to sound like gay porn....

Or one of those Animal links.

Com'on spill it or we'll just start to call you the gay animal porn dude.

albionmoonlight · 06-21-2006, 03:58 PM

kcchief19 had it right on the first page of this thread.

I'm betting that its Maximum Football.

Farrah Whitworth-Rahn · 06-21-2006, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glengoyne

Com'on spill it or we'll just start to call you the gay animal porn dude.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

Mustang · 06-21-2006, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glengoyne

Or one of those Animal links.

Starting to come up with a flow chart of what is worse than what...

Gay Porn > Dating Site > Animal Porn > Normal Porn > Purses

CamEdwards · 06-21-2006, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by terpkristin

No, if you hadn't done something apparently insanely stupid with a credit card after drinking you wouldn't be in this mess.

I concur with the ladies on the board (and the few men that have gone this way) that you should just grow a pair and own up to what you did.

As for the $800 purse, I can see owning them, but they're not for me. Then again I'm still a tomboy at heart, my current purse is a Tom Bihn bag (this one, actually, in grey exterior and red interior). Now Jessica Simpson's $800 panties...that's the epitome of waste IMO...

/tk

I think terpkristen just admitted she doesn't wear undies.

Mustang · 06-21-2006, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CamEdwards

I think terpkristen just admitted she doesn't wear undies.

That or she doesn't want Jessica Simpson to wear panties..

Farrah Whitworth-Rahn · 06-21-2006, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mustang

Starting to come up with a flow chart of what is worse than what...

Gay Porn > Dating Site > Animal Porn > Normal Porn > Purses

I object! Animal porn is way worse than a dating site and gay porn.

06-21-2006, 10:30 AM	#158
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	There is a question unasked. This "event" happened late at night? Where was the wife at that moment? What was SHE up to??? __________________ co-commish: bb-bbcf.net knives out

06-21-2006, 10:40 AM	#161
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	I think the key bit of information is what will the name of the company appear as on your bank statement? Last edited by Lathum : 06-21-2006 at 10:40 AM.

06-21-2006, 10:46 AM	#163
Maple Leafs Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002	By the way... I don't know what you bought, but many of the "bad" things you could buy on the Internet are actually recurring charges. So Adult-Robot-Boyfriends.org may charge you that $50 every month until you specifically cancel it. Just something to watch for. __________________ Down Goes Brown: Toronto Maple Leafs Humor and Analysis

06-21-2006, 11:18 AM	#171
King of New York High School Varsity Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Edge of the Great Dismal Swamp	JimmyWint, When you see that your wife is about to open the bank statement, just take it from her, put it in your mouth, and eat it. Then act as if everything is perfectly normal. I guarantee that it will work. It's sort of a variation on the "Big Lie" theory. If you try to weasel out of this sitiuation using a conventional method, you'll be busted, but if you so do something really nuts, you'll get away with it. __________________ Input A No Input

06-21-2006, 12:56 PM	#179
KevinNU7 College Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: Beantown	While I have enjoyed this thread it has become clear to me that it is a ruse. __________________ Boston Bashers - III.14 - (8347)

06-21-2006, 10:21 AM	#152
Ramzavail College Starter Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Strong Island, NY	I don't think purses are $50, not nice ones that you'd want to give.

06-21-2006, 10:44 AM	#162
kcchief19 Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Kansas City, MO	Ooooh ... that drunken thing sounds like a winner. You can never go wrong playing the "I was drunk card," since that is very simple and believable. You could also try giving her a homemade coupon book filled with things like "Good for one hour of shopping for purses" or "Good for one hour of Jimmy lovin'." Sure, it's brutal, but it will make her happen and it will make you think twice in the future. And not to be the voice of caution or reason in a thread where we are having some levity, is there any concern that if you're looking for love online after a night of drinking that there might be a greater problem in the relationship than her finding a mystery purchase on the bank statement? Just a thought.

06-21-2006, 10:53 AM	#169
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	use the same excuse that one guy used after he ate all the brownies.

06-21-2006, 12:11 PM	#173
Galaxy Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2005	Wow...This thread has everything. "FOFC: Queer Eye for the Porn Guy"

06-21-2006, 01:44 PM	#181
Galaxy Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2005	So, what exactly did Jimmy order?

06-21-2006, 01:59 PM	#182
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	who is jimmywint?

06-21-2006, 02:20 PM	#183
sovereignstar Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004	I lack Closing Skills...Please Help

06-21-2006, 02:20 PM	#184
sovereignstar Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004	Okay, so I have been seeing this girl for about a month now. Just yesterday she says she likes to get high once in a while with this girlfriend of hers. I have never smoked pot. I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice. What is the difference between getting drunk like I do, or in getting stoned, other than the obvious fact it is illegal. I kind of threw up a red flag when I heard this...maybe I am overreacting? What do you all think?

06-21-2006, 02:22 PM	#185
Passacaglia Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Big Ten Country	I always get this dood confused with Tom E.

06-21-2006, 02:23 PM	#186
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	Tell her you bought her some fancy cigars, but because of the smoking ban in your town, you can't smoke them, and they need to go back.

06-21-2006, 02:53 PM	#189
JimmyWint Mascot Join Date: Oct 2003	"I enjoy going out drinking about once or twice a week, and drinking too much, that is my vice". I knew my drinking would come to haunt me sooner or later. Perhaps I will disclose what I actually purchased, I just feel a lot of shame and it is hard to admit to it.

06-21-2006, 03:58 PM	#195
albionmoonlight Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: North Carolina	kcchief19 had it right on the first page of this thread. I'm betting that its Maximum Football.

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