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Old 03-16-2004, 05:34 PM   #1
Kodos
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Exclamation Kodos' Paint-Chip Eating Dynasty

My first paint chip came off the wall in the downstairs bathroom. Lime-green, I'm guessing that it came from a good-old-fashioned lead-based paint. While a little dry at first, the chip became more palatable as I worked some saliva into it. My initial impression is that it could use some salt... Still, it is a far cry better than the fare that can be found at your local Hooters. Cautiously, I label my first experience a success. I will have to try an oil-based paint next, to see if it can hold up without the need for added seasoning.


Last edited by Kodos : 03-16-2004 at 05:43 PM.
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Old 03-16-2004, 06:12 PM   #2
Poli
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And I thought I was weird.
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Old 03-16-2004, 06:18 PM   #3
Kodos
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Le chip numeros deux.

For my next chip, I slected a shiny rust-coloured flake that had chipped of off the fender of my vintege 1983 Chevrolay Chevette. Once the initial bleeding stopped (the chip was a bit jaggd), I was left with a pleasent mettalic aftertaste not-unlike the time I accidently injested the Tab of off a tab of can. Pehraps the blood acteda s a bit of a lubricannt, as ths thyme I did not notice any problem wiht drieieness.
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Old 03-16-2004, 06:21 PM   #4
Kodos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ardent enthusiast
And I thought I was weird.

Quiet, ewe!
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Old 03-16-2004, 06:34 PM   #5
illinifan999
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YOU CANNOT STOP THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 03-16-2004, 07:10 PM   #6
korme
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodos
Le chip numeros deux.

For my next chip, I slected a shiny rust-coloured flake that had chipped of off the fender of my vintege 1983 Chevrolay Chevette. Once the initial bleeding stopped (the chip was a bit jaggd), I was left with a pleasent mettalic aftertaste not-unlike the time I accidently injested the Tab of off a tab of can. Pehraps the blood acteda s a bit of a lubricannt, as ths thyme I did not notice any problem wiht drieieness.
I didn't know you were Canadian.
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Last edited by korme : 03-16-2004 at 07:11 PM.
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Old 03-16-2004, 07:16 PM   #7
Kodos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by illinifan999
YOU CANNOT STOP THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Iii hab no ententsion off dat, myfriend.

Chipito nomber forr.

Kno, 3..

Kno 4 isa ship of offmy setpic tankn out;n backyadr A. liteish collar ship, i deaturmun dat it kneads dipp. Outt two the gragea i go,. Thier issum olde peintcans innthere... . Ifinda sckrewdrier and prie of hte li d. Ouhcc! Cutmerdagnedhadn!!!

Ennside i see a knise geernish colours dippin g saowse. Ummmmmmnnn, gooooo ooddoodd1 . Thta hit's hte stopp!!1 Sucksess! Wet luckc,Thee flafour oaughtht too o lattss fror dys. Bery verry godd.
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Old 03-16-2004, 07:19 PM   #8
Kodos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shorty3281
I didn't know you were Canadian.

Ohhhyeheaha. I ogtdepostered forea bgein a pubic men ass.
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Old 03-16-2004, 07:20 PM   #9
Kodos
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Originally Posted by Kodos
Ohhhyeheaha. I ogtdepostered forea bgein a pubic men ass.

sossry. imneat men; ace3
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Old 03-16-2004, 07:21 PM   #10
Raven Hawk
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Go Rochester! Beat the Evil Mohawks!
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Old 03-16-2004, 07:22 PM   #11
Kodos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raven Hawk
Go Rochester! Beat the Evil Mohawks!
heleljll eyah!!!!! .
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Old 03-16-2004, 08:27 PM   #12
Fonzie
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More chips!
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Old 03-16-2004, 09:11 PM   #13
sterlingice
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This thread explains so much!

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Old 03-16-2004, 09:28 PM   #14
Poli
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I believe the paint chips have finally eroded our alien's brain.
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Old 03-16-2004, 09:44 PM   #15
sachmo71
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Methinks there is a lesson to be learned here.
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Old 03-16-2004, 10:16 PM   #16
JeeberD
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That we need to eat paint as well if we're going to understand what he's saying?
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Old 03-16-2004, 11:01 PM   #17
Poli
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That someone needs to go to the Kodos household and bury him.
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Old 03-16-2004, 11:08 PM   #18
Kodos
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The cat says that I past out after teh dips 'n chimps, but I thing he is telling a tall tail. Still, the cat hasnot lyed tom e beorfe. I well half toby more carefool...
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Old 03-16-2004, 11:16 PM   #19
Kodos
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nEx t'up, tiime forsum ting form teh dek. It is read,nd loooks qiite delishous. ODown shegoes!
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Old 03-16-2004, 11:18 PM   #20
Kodos
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Gaaack! Dam splinturds...

Taist like ... fricken would. Blecch.
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Old 03-16-2004, 11:23 PM   #21
Kodos
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AELAJ SERAK DA PREOPARERA:

ACH KHAHBIN0D KIKSO ADKA ASEFA ADKFIJ AKD REE'PDA EADADF. NUBALKJ AE KKNA DAKEAJA&. JPARKAD KAJLKE ALKDJ AEUL A AFELOEA? AJDL NJZICM,

NIHICAT,
KOEDOSEA

Last edited by Kodos : 03-16-2004 at 11:23 PM.
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Old 03-16-2004, 11:29 PM   #22
Kodos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodos
AELAJ SERAK DA PREOPARERA:

ACH KHAHBIN0D KIKSO ADKA ASEFA ADKFIJ AKD REE'PDA EADADF. NUBALKJ AE KKNA DAKEAJA&. JPARKAD KAJLKE ALKDJ AEUL A AFELOEA? AJDL NJZICM,

NIHICAT,
KOEDOSEA

Deer Primiteve Erth dwellerz,

I acccidental ly esnt the pervouis massage to ewe. It waas intentend togo to Serak the PReparer backkc on Riggel IV.. Eye wantted two no watt Erth bevmirage woold go wthi peint ships.

Sarek re-commendead your Earht paint thinnnner. Will giv itatry...
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Old 03-16-2004, 11:36 PM   #23
Kodos
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Da't Snarak do'nt lye. teh thinmer hsit the stop.

Hay Snoballz. Puddytat wannt summm millkk? or mebbe somm rustolleum? Hhahhahaa, ssilly puddy. Thnat's foremee.


Summbunny want aship?1/? Maaybe some thhiner?

Last edited by Kodos : 03-16-2004 at 11:38 PM.
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Old 03-16-2004, 11:56 PM   #24
JeeberD
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodos
Deer Primiteve Erth dwellerz,

I acccidental ly esnt the pervouis massage to ewe. It waas intentend togo to Serak the PReparer backkc on Riggel IV.. Eye wantted two no watt Erth bevmirage woold go wthi peint ships.

Sarek re-commendead your Earht paint thinnnner. Will giv itatry...


Rigel IV my ass! I recognize Sectoid when I see it! I shoule have known you were in cahoots with those bastards...

Get him, boys!!!
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Old 03-16-2004, 11:57 PM   #25
Chief Rum
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I rate this thread a five-star!

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Old 03-17-2004, 12:11 AM   #26
Kodos
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Errmm. Hyea chIeffy. Mite wont toot lokk intwo yorr raaatingn sisttem.
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Old 03-17-2004, 12:23 AM   #27
Kodos
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Are yuo reely a Chef, rum?.?
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Old 03-17-2004, 12:46 AM   #28
Chief Rum
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Yes. I make a great Bernaise sauce. And grilled cheese sandwiches. And Oreo cookies (Step One: Open package, Step Two: Remove six cookies, Step Three: Place cookies on small serving plate in geometrically pleasing pattern, Step Four: Serve with milk).

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Old 03-17-2004, 09:36 AM   #29
Lokugh
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Yeah...Kodos started St. Paddy's a bit early, I think.

Interesting factoid (or maybe not): According to a show I saw, the reason why lead paint is so dangerous is that it is sweet. If it tasted like well...paint...it would not be that big of a problem. But it tastes sweet, so babies and small children (and apparently aliens from Rigel) will eat it.

Last edited by Lokugh : 03-17-2004 at 09:37 AM.
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Old 03-17-2004, 10:36 AM   #30
Kodos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lokugh
Yeah...Kodos started St. Paddy's a bit early, I think.

Interesting factoid (or maybe not): According to a show I saw, the reason why lead paint is so dangerous is that it is sweet. If it tasted like well...paint...it would not be that big of a problem. But it tastes sweet, so babies and small children (and apparently aliens from Rigel) will eat it.

The paint isn't sweet, but you sure are, fellah!
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Old 03-17-2004, 11:13 AM   #31
WussGawd
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Can we just hand this thread a 2005 Golden Scribe Award now?
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Old 03-17-2004, 11:16 AM   #32
Radii
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Best thread ever.
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Old 03-17-2004, 11:21 AM   #33
The Afoci
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My paint tastes like acid.
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Old 03-17-2004, 12:09 PM   #34
Kodos
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Tastes like burning!

It's funny how many people have seen fit to rate a joke thread like this.
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Old 03-17-2004, 01:49 PM   #35
Kodos
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Exclamation

It's somewhat disheartening to note that this dynasty has provoked much more interest than my Rochester dynasty...

Last edited by Kodos : 03-17-2004 at 01:49 PM.
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Old 03-17-2004, 02:52 PM   #36
Kodos
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This thread is also amusing in that Chief Rum started it off with a high rating, and now others have felt compelled to drive its thread rating down from the initial 5 rating. For what it's worth, I agree with the folks driving it down - It's crap!!!
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Old 03-17-2004, 03:21 PM   #37
Radii
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You finally found a topic in paint chip eating that we can all relate to.
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Old 03-17-2004, 03:34 PM   #38
Kodos
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And to think that I've been wasting all my effort on football dynasties for all this time!
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Old 03-17-2004, 03:37 PM   #39
QuikSand
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Golden Scribes all around!
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Old 03-17-2004, 04:03 PM   #40
Kodos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QuikSand
Golden Scribes all around!

If I didn't know better, I'd think this was an attempt at sarcasm...

Blame it on Marmel. It was HIS idea. Kinda...
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Old 03-17-2004, 04:06 PM   #41
Kodos
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Wait, no, I accused Marmel incorrectly. Here is the real culprit:

Quote:
Originally Posted by corbes
I was going to write a dynasty about eating paint chips, but it got kinda unintelligible towards the end.
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Old 03-17-2004, 04:10 PM   #42
primelord
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The way you play Madden I just assumed you had been eating paint chips all along. Who knew?
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Old 03-17-2004, 04:34 PM   #43
Kodos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by primelord
The way you play Madden I just assumed you had been eating paint chips all along. Who knew?

Hey, bucko. Who has a couple-game win streak against you?!?
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Old 03-17-2004, 06:42 PM   #44
Radii
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodos
Da't Snarak do'nt lye. teh thinmer hsit the stop.

Hay Snoballz. Puddytat wannt summm millkk? or mebbe somm rustolleum? Hhahhahaa, ssilly puddy. Thnat's foremee.


Summbunny want aship?1/? Maaybe some thhiner?


My favorite part of this post is that it was edited... must have been a typo in the original.
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Old 03-17-2004, 07:09 PM   #45
cthomer5000
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I like it.
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Old 03-17-2004, 09:59 PM   #46
Kodos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Radii
My favorite part of this post is that it was edited... must have been a typo in the original.

Yeah. The I forgot the end color tag.
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Old 03-17-2004, 10:01 PM   #47
Poli
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You mean you were faking?
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Old 03-17-2004, 10:11 PM   #48
Kodos
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ardent enthusiast
You mean you were faking?

Come on!... Could somebody fake something this good?!?
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Old 03-17-2004, 10:18 PM   #49
Poli
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Didn't you see my walk on dynasty?
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Old 03-17-2004, 10:41 PM   #50
mckerney
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kodos
AELAJ SERAK DA PREOPARERA:

ACH KHAHBIN0D KIKSO ADKA ASEFA ADKFIJ AKD REE'PDA EADADF. NUBALKJ AE KKNA DAKEAJA&. JPARKAD KAJLKE ALKDJ AEUL A AFELOEA? AJDL NJZICM,

NIHICAT,
KOEDOSEA

Babel fish doesn't work for this, could you point me to another translator that would work?
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