Can it get any better!!

MacroGuru · 02-22-2010, 05:22 PM

I knew this day was coming, I have spoken to a few personally about this but the blowup happened today to where...my marriage is ending. Truth be told it has been happening for a while, although I thought me being subservient, bending to her will and basically giving her everything she wanted would save it.

Nope, it didn't...she has a boyfriend...after 17 years of marriage she has a boyfriend, a boy toy if you will...one that cow tows to her will, licks her feet, kisses her ass and does anything she tells him to....honestly if she told him to kill me, I think the shithead would try.

Now, neither one of us are saints in this. I have traveled for most of our marriage for work, working a job we like to call the golden handcuffs...it pays so damn well it's hard to walk away from. I tried it, and I went right back to it as soon as it failed.

I am devastated, torn up...but part of me is relieved. It's been like walking on eggshells around here. I have been sleeping on the couch and I just finally had it and went to my limits and said enough is enough today.

I am waiting on work to tell me if they will fly me out of Memphis, if so I am heading there for the rest of the week to stay with family and get my shit in order. It's going to be a clean split on my end, I am cleaning up the lose ends tonight but it's pretty much a done thing as far as separation.....I hope the time apart she sees the light at the end of the tunnel and the error of her ways and we do get back together, but I don't think that will happen...

The hard part....is the 3 kids...I have fought for everything over the past year to not have this happen as I grew up with divorced parents and my relationship with my father turned into one that resembles that of a business relationship.

Anyway, thanks for the vent...I have to finish packing and book me a flight to Memphis.

Also, please do not post anything on my FB account.....no one in our families know except for my sister I am heading to move in with at Memphis.

Honolulu_Blue · 02-22-2010, 05:25 PM

I am sorry to hear this for you and the kids, but it sounds like it had to happen. Good luck with everything.

Karlifornia · 02-22-2010, 05:26 PM

Oof. Drastic lifestyle changes like this are always tough. Stay positive, my man. It sounds like it's for the better.

Marc Vaughan · 02-22-2010, 05:29 PM

Sorry to hear that - hang in there.

terpkristin · 02-22-2010, 06:00 PM

Yikes. Very sorry to hear that, hopefully at least you'll get some peace soon. I can't imagine it's been fun "knowing" this was probably coming...

/tk

Logan · 02-22-2010, 06:04 PM

Sorry dude. Keep truckin.

MacroGuru · 02-22-2010, 06:23 PM

thanks everyone...

Ticket is booked and I fly to Memphis tomorrow morning...My last night in this house with my kids for a long time.

BYU 14 · 02-22-2010, 06:28 PM

Nothing more to say that I haven't shared with you already, but stay focused on the future buddy. You're a great guy and however things play out will be for the better.

Stay strong

Lathum · 02-22-2010, 06:37 PM

Really sorry to hear. I'll pray for you and your kids.

Eaglesfan27 · 02-22-2010, 06:37 PM

Best wishes for everything to work out well in this difficult situation.

DaddyTorgo · 02-22-2010, 06:40 PM

ugh....no

Sorry man. It always seemed a tough situation with how much you travel, but was hoping it was working for you.

DaddyTorgo · 02-22-2010, 06:41 PM

wait a second...reading further...she's cheating on you?

fucking bitch!!!

stevew · 02-22-2010, 06:43 PM

Man. Sucks to hear Dennis. Standard fare, Make sure to protect your ass, change your passwords, stash cash.

DaddyTorgo · 02-22-2010, 06:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

Man. Sucks to hear Dennis. Standard fare, Make sure to protect your ass, change your passwords, stash cash.

what stevew said...protect ya ass man.

stevew · 02-22-2010, 06:45 PM

Don't forget to get tested for STDs as well.

RainMaker · 02-22-2010, 06:54 PM

Sorry to hear about that. Can't imagine what you're going through.

I guess I'd just say to focus on the kids 100% and not let bitterness toward her get in the way. The BF thing probably hurts a lot but I would try and ignore it as much as you can (although I would document what you can for divorce proceedings).

I've always found that those that are cheating are in fact miserable with their own lives. They have low self esteem and use it as a way to prop it up. So focus on yourself and your kids. Seems you were unhappy catering to her anyway and maybe this is the opportunity to be free. Seems like you have a real nice job that allows some travel, so maybe go Tiger Woods for a little while and enjoy life.

Swaggs · 02-22-2010, 07:15 PM

Sorry to hear this -- I hope things work out well for you and your children.

GoldenEagle · 02-22-2010, 07:21 PM

Sorry to hear.

GrantDawg · 02-22-2010, 07:27 PM

Sorry to hear. Sorry even more to hear you're having to move to Memphis. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Lathum · 02-22-2010, 07:30 PM

Dennis- I know my advice plus a token will get you on the subway, but whatever you do don't blame your job and the travel for her actions. You were out there working your ass off to provide a good life for her and your kids, doing what anyone who calls himself a man would do. That in itself makes you a saint, you did nothing to drive her to do this, time spent apart does not give her an excuse to do this and certainly doesn't put any blame of you.

MacroGuru · 02-22-2010, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrantDawg

Sorry to hear. Sorry even more to hear you're having to move to Memphis. Talk about adding insult to injury.

You got me to laugh! Thanks GrantDawg!

stevew · 02-22-2010, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

You got me to laugh! Thanks GrantDawg!

I was going to suggest that at least you might get some joy out of the fact knowing that you've basically left her in buffalo for eternity.

MacroGuru · 02-22-2010, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

I was going to suggest that at least you might get some joy out of the fact knowing that you've basically left her in buffalo for eternity.

Well, I do have to come back here. I know that...My kids are here and I refuse to be to far away from them.

It's not that bad...just have to stay in Memphis to clear the head for a bit.

PurdueBrad · 02-22-2010, 07:55 PM

Macro, I'm very sorry, good luck man.

Dodgerchick · 02-22-2010, 07:56 PM

Dang, sorry to hear Dennis

FrogMan · 02-22-2010, 08:05 PM

sucks man, best of luck and hang in there.

FM

Warhammer · 02-22-2010, 08:07 PM

If you need anything here in town, drop a line. More than happy to help in the circumstances.

Warhammer · 02-22-2010, 08:14 PM

Heck, if you want, we can play some Blood Bowl, I'll find someone with an Amazon team, and you can foul the heck out of them.

markprior22 · 02-22-2010, 08:14 PM

So sorry to hear this. I went through a divorce about 3 yrs ago after 21+ yrs of marriage and 2 kids. My ex remarried and has my son about 5 hrs from here. Don't get to see him nearly as often as I'd like. The main thing I'd like to stress is that "things will get better." Time does make a difference and you can be happy again (especially considering that you haven't been happy for quite a while). Hang in there and, again, it will get better.

molson · 02-22-2010, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

Now, neither one of us are saints in this. I have traveled for most of our marriage for work, working a job we like to call the golden handcuffs...it pays so damn well it's hard to walk away from. I tried it, and I went right back to it as soon as it failed.

Let me guess, she tried to blame you for the boytoy and this was her angle? Maybe neither of you is a saint, but cheating is worse than oh, supporting the family, last I checked.

But that being said - ya, like others said, it's best to try to move forward, at your own pace, let go of the bitterness to the degree you can, focus on the kids, and realize that she's no "winner" here. She has further to go than you to get to a good place. Don't be consumed by hate, there's better things in the future for you.

MizzouRah · 02-22-2010, 10:48 PM

Must be really tough on you.. especially with kids.. take care of yourself man.

Although, personally.. I think you are doing what's best for you - and your kids.

JediKooter · 02-22-2010, 10:57 PM

What the fuck is wrong with people? I'm sorry to here this MacroGuru. Reading your post, everything about my wife and what she did to me back in July came all back and now I'm pissed. Just take care of yourself and your kids like others have said and then go find some smoking hot pussy to lay into like a lumber jack.

RainMaker · 02-22-2010, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

Now, neither one of us are saints in this. I have traveled for most of our marriage for work, working a job we like to call the golden handcuffs...it pays so damn well it's hard to walk away from. I tried it, and I went right back to it as soon as it failed.

You did nothing wrong. That's called supporting a family. No one deserves to be cheated on for that. Don't let her turn that around on you. When people screw up, they try to justify it by blaming the other person for something else.

Kodos · 02-22-2010, 11:02 PM

Really sorry to hear this, Macro. Don't have much to say that hasn't already been said. Hang in there, and try to do the best you can by your kids.

JeeberD · 02-23-2010, 12:01 AM

Damn, Dennis, I'm so sorry...

Galaxy · 02-23-2010, 12:41 AM

So sorry to hear Dennis. I sent you a message (private) via facebook.

Just to note, you might want to remove the "Dennis is no longer listed as "married." update on your wall if you want to keep it under-wraps for now.

MacroGuru · 02-23-2010, 07:36 AM

What a rough night....so much to do, so many things I want to say. I have had some sleep but not a lot.

I am getting ready to head to the airport and it's going to be goodbye to a lot in my life right now and It shreds me to think about it.

I am being forced by work to stay in Buffalo as they will not pay to fly me out of Memphis, so I have 2 weeks I will be gone and I come back. I may have a place to stay when I get back, I am working on that in the next 2 weeks.

I have also found a furnished apartment close to the home where it will help me and the kids out. Just need to make sure it's where I want to be.

Dr. Sak · 02-23-2010, 07:44 AM

Sorry to hear about this Dennis. I wish you the best of luck.

Passacaglia · 02-23-2010, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RainMaker

You did nothing wrong. That's called supporting a family. No one deserves to be cheated on for that. Don't let her turn that around on you. When people screw up, they try to justify it by blaming the other person for something else.

Definitely. If that's a problem, it's something a couple discusses and figures out a solution to -- not something that you just end the marriage for. Stay strong, best of luck.

Celeval · 02-23-2010, 08:22 AM

Good luck, man. Keep your chin up.

Noop · 02-23-2010, 08:37 AM

The idea of your family being broken apart is not one that sits well with me. I don't know the words that will make you feel better just want you too know that I am with you brother. For the sake of your kids I pray you two are able to be civil and provide a stable environment for your children.

If possible perhaps you two can sit down and go over some ground rules with regard to the children. Such as no negative words about the other to the children. I'm sure you don't want to be constantly battling what is said about you in your absence.

Remember for a while you will take a step forward and a bunch back. In time you will only take steps forward just be patient and let the process run its course.

spleen1015 · 02-23-2010, 08:40 AM

Good luck, man.

I. J. Reilly · 02-23-2010, 09:13 AM

I'm sorry, man. No advice, nothing of use to say; just sorry.

JPhillips · 02-23-2010, 09:42 AM

Stay strong. I can only imagine how hard this is with three children.

flere-imsaho · 02-23-2010, 09:52 AM

Very sorry to hear this, and best wishes going forward.

GrantDawg · 02-23-2010, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noop

The idea of your family being broken apart is not one that sits well with me. I don't know the words that will make you feel better just want you too know that I am with you brother. For the sake of your kids I pray you two are able to be civil and provide a stable environment for your children.

If possible perhaps you two can sit down and go over some ground rules with regard to the children. Such as no negative words about the other to the children. I'm sure you don't want to be constantly battling what is said about you in your absence.

Remember for a while you will take a step forward and a bunch back. In time you will only take steps forward just be patient and let the process run its course.

Good advice, Noop. Very good advice.

Btw, I'm totally against violence to women, but I know a couple of girls that aren't. Just saying.

Arles · 02-23-2010, 04:21 PM

yeah, this whole thing sounds pretty rough to deal with. All you can do now is try to look out for your own interests when it comes to money, assets and (especially) time with your kids.

At the end of the day, things will get better for you (esp once all the dust has settled).

hukarez · 02-23-2010, 04:24 PM

Oh geez, I'm sorry to hear about this Macro.

dolfin · 02-23-2010, 04:47 PM

Sorry to hear, man. Best of Luck!

Drake · 02-23-2010, 05:45 PM

And change the beneficiary on any and all life insurance policies you've got ASAP to someone you trust to take care of your kids.

(You have no idea how much peace of mind this gave me in the early going.)

02-22-2010, 05:25 PM	#2
Honolulu_Blue Hockey Boy Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Royal Oak, MI	I am sorry to hear this for you and the kids, but it sounds like it had to happen. Good luck with everything. __________________ *Steve Yzerman*: 1,755 points in 1,514 regular season games. 185 points in 196 postseason games. A First-Team All-Star, Conn Smythe Trophy winner, Selke Trophy winner, Masterton Trophy winner, member of the Hockey Hall of Fame, Olympic gold medallist, and a three-time Stanley Cup Champion. Longest serving captain of one team in the history of the NHL (19 seasons).

02-22-2010, 05:26 PM	#3
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	Oof. Drastic lifestyle changes like this are always tough. Stay positive, my man. It sounds like it's for the better. __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com Last edited by Karlifornia : 02-22-2010 at 05:41 PM.

02-22-2010, 06:00 PM	#5
terpkristin Grizzled Veteran Join Date: May 2003 Location: Ashburn, VA	Yikes. Very sorry to hear that, hopefully at least you'll get some peace soon. I can't imagine it's been fun "knowing" this was probably coming... /tk __________________ GO TERPS! https://www.flickr.com/photos/terpkristin https://twitter.com/terpkristin

02-22-2010, 06:23 PM	#7
MacroGuru Coordinator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Utah	thanks everyone... Ticket is booked and I fly to Memphis tomorrow morning...My last night in this house with my kids for a long time. __________________ "forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future"

02-22-2010, 06:37 PM	#10
Eaglesfan27 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: New Jersey	Best wishes for everything to work out well in this difficult situation. __________________ Retired GM of the eNFL 2007 Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles (19-0 record.) GM of the WOOF 2006 Doggie Bowl Champion Atlantic City Gamblers. GM of the IHOF 2019 and 2022 IHOF Bowl Champion Asheville Axemen.

02-22-2010, 05:29 PM	#4
Marc Vaughan SI Games Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Melbourne, FL	Sorry to hear that - hang in there.

02-22-2010, 06:04 PM	#6
Logan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: NYC	Sorry dude. Keep truckin.

02-22-2010, 06:28 PM	#8
BYU 14 Coordinator Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: The scorched Desert	Nothing more to say that I haven't shared with you already, but stay focused on the future buddy. You're a great guy and however things play out will be for the better. Stay strong

02-22-2010, 06:37 PM	#9
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	Really sorry to hear. I'll pray for you and your kids.

02-22-2010, 06:40 PM	#11
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	ugh....no Sorry man. It always seemed a tough situation with how much you travel, but was hoping it was working for you. __________________ Get bent whoever hacked my pw and changed my signature.

02-22-2010, 06:41 PM	#12
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	wait a second...reading further...she's cheating on you? fucking bitch!!! __________________ Get bent whoever hacked my pw and changed my signature.

02-22-2010, 06:43 PM	#13
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	Man. Sucks to hear Dennis. Standard fare, Make sure to protect your ass, change your passwords, stash cash.

02-22-2010, 06:45 PM	#15
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	Don't forget to get tested for STDs as well.

02-22-2010, 06:54 PM	#16
RainMaker Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Chicago, IL	Sorry to hear about that. Can't imagine what you're going through. I guess I'd just say to focus on the kids 100% and not let bitterness toward her get in the way. The BF thing probably hurts a lot but I would try and ignore it as much as you can (although I would document what you can for divorce proceedings). I've always found that those that are cheating are in fact miserable with their own lives. They have low self esteem and use it as a way to prop it up. So focus on yourself and your kids. Seems you were unhappy catering to her anyway and maybe this is the opportunity to be free. Seems like you have a real nice job that allows some travel, so maybe go Tiger Woods for a little while and enjoy life.

02-22-2010, 07:15 PM	#17
Swaggs Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	Sorry to hear this -- I hope things work out well for you and your children. __________________ DOWN WITH HATTRICK!!! The RWBL Are you reading In The Bleachers?

02-22-2010, 07:21 PM	#18
GoldenEagle Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Little Rock, AR	Sorry to hear. __________________ Xbox 360 Gamer Tag: GoldenEagle014

02-22-2010, 07:27 PM	#19
GrantDawg World Champion Mis-speller Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Covington, Ga.	Sorry to hear. Sorry even more to hear you're having to move to Memphis. Talk about adding insult to injury.

02-22-2010, 07:30 PM	#20
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	Dennis- I know my advice plus a token will get you on the subway, but whatever you do don't blame your job and the travel for her actions. You were out there working your ass off to provide a good life for her and your kids, doing what anyone who calls himself a man would do. That in itself makes you a saint, you did nothing to drive her to do this, time spent apart does not give her an excuse to do this and certainly doesn't put any blame of you.

02-22-2010, 07:55 PM	#24
PurdueBrad Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: DeKalb, IL	Macro, I'm very sorry, good luck man.

02-22-2010, 07:56 PM	#25
Dodgerchick College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Austin, TX	Dang, sorry to hear Dennis __________________ DON'T ITCH THAT NOSE! A Meditation Dynasty

02-22-2010, 08:05 PM	#26
FrogMan Hattrick Moderator Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Pintendre, Qc, Canada	sucks man, best of luck and hang in there. FM __________________ A Black Belt is a White Belt who refused to give up... follow my story: The real life story of a running frog...

02-22-2010, 08:07 PM	#27
Warhammer Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Dayton, OH	If you need anything here in town, drop a line. More than happy to help in the circumstances.

02-22-2010, 08:14 PM	#28
Warhammer Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Dayton, OH	Heck, if you want, we can play some Blood Bowl, I'll find someone with an Amazon team, and you can foul the heck out of them.

02-22-2010, 08:14 PM	#29
markprior22 High School Varsity Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: springfield, il	So sorry to hear this. I went through a divorce about 3 yrs ago after 21+ yrs of marriage and 2 kids. My ex remarried and has my son about 5 hrs from here. Don't get to see him nearly as often as I'd like. The main thing I'd like to stress is that "things will get better." Time does make a difference and you can be happy again (especially considering that you haven't been happy for quite a while). Hang in there and, again, it will get better.

02-22-2010, 10:48 PM	#31
MizzouRah Hall Of Famer Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Troy, Mo	Must be really tough on you.. especially with kids.. take care of yourself man. Although, personally.. I think you are doing what's best for you - and your kids.

02-22-2010, 10:57 PM	#32
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	What the fuck is wrong with people? I'm sorry to here this MacroGuru. Reading your post, everything about my wife and what she did to me back in July came all back and now I'm pissed. Just take care of yourself and your kids like others have said and then go find some smoking hot pussy to lay into like a lumber jack. __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

02-22-2010, 11:02 PM	#34
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	Really sorry to hear this, Macro. Don't have much to say that hasn't already been said. Hang in there, and try to do the best you can by your kids. __________________ Indiana Hoosiers Football - 2025-26 National Champs The FOFC Ladder History thread

02-23-2010, 12:01 AM	#35
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Damn, Dennis, I'm so sorry... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

02-23-2010, 12:41 AM	#36
Galaxy Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2005	So sorry to hear Dennis. I sent you a message (private) via facebook. Just to note, you might want to remove the "Dennis is no longer listed as "married." update on your wall if you want to keep it under-wraps for now.

02-23-2010, 07:36 AM	#37
MacroGuru Coordinator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Utah	What a rough night....so much to do, so many things I want to say. I have had some sleep but not a lot. I am getting ready to head to the airport and it's going to be goodbye to a lot in my life right now and It shreds me to think about it. I am being forced by work to stay in Buffalo as they will not pay to fly me out of Memphis, so I have 2 weeks I will be gone and I come back. I may have a place to stay when I get back, I am working on that in the next 2 weeks. I have also found a furnished apartment close to the home where it will help me and the kids out. Just need to make sure it's where I want to be. __________________ "forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future"

02-23-2010, 07:44 AM	#38
Dr. Sak Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Stuck in Yinzerville, PA	Sorry to hear about this Dennis. I wish you the best of luck.

02-23-2010, 08:22 AM	#40
Celeval Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Cary, NC, USA	Good luck, man. Keep your chin up.

02-23-2010, 08:37 AM	#41
Noop Bonafide Seminole Fan Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Florida	The idea of your family being broken apart is not one that sits well with me. I don't know the words that will make you feel better just want you too know that I am with you brother. For the sake of your kids I pray you two are able to be civil and provide a stable environment for your children. If possible perhaps you two can sit down and go over some ground rules with regard to the children. Such as no negative words about the other to the children. I'm sure you don't want to be constantly battling what is said about you in your absence. Remember for a while you will take a step forward and a bunch back. In time you will only take steps forward just be patient and let the process run its course. __________________ Living in an Oligarchy.

02-23-2010, 08:40 AM	#42
spleen1015 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003	Good luck, man. __________________ Why choose failure when success is an option?

02-23-2010, 09:13 AM	#43
I. J. Reilly College Prospect Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: An Oregonian deep in the heart of Texas.	I'm sorry, man. No advice, nothing of use to say; just sorry.